Pensive of Memories

Regulus had quickly found his annoyance with everyone in that wretched castle. He wasn't able to strangle the Sorting hat, himself, or James Potter, but oh did he find many more people to add to that list. The few first weeks of courses had passed with relative ease - not like he would expect anything different from the schooling he had in the Black Manor - but it was everyone around him every day all the time that led him facing Slughorn and Dumbledore more often than he would have wanted.

"Regulus Black." The headmaster had turned to face Regulus in his office, beard unbearably long and eyes twinkling with what Regulus had now coined as the sheer pleasure of ruining students' days. "I have seen you three times in the past seven days. Do you wish to explain yourself?"

Regulus simply sat there. To be fair, this time it wasn't him. Not exactly. A red-haired Gryffindor girl simply got in the way of his and that greasy half-blood's duel. If the muggleborn wasn't there, he would not be here. Nor would he be sitting here for the third time if Severus Snape had any ounce of common sense in that dull brain of his.

"Mr. Black?" The headmaster prodded again, but Regulus simply met the old man's blue eyes. It reminded him of his mother's, oddly enough. They sat there in silence, for the third time in the past seven days. One would think the greatest wizard of the century would figure out that his methods weren't working. A sigh followed the silence, and the headmaster stood up, "Very well then, Mr. Black. I have been quite lenient with you - too lenient rather - for the past times, but following today, actions will have consequences, understood?"

Regulus blinked slowly. Actions will have consequences. As if they hadn't already.

"You will meet Mr. Filtch in the Trophy Room tonight promptly at 7 o'clock. If I find that you have acted out of reason for another time, you will find yourself with greater punishments."

He let out a scoff. "What are you, my mother?"

"Would you like me to call her here, perhaps?" The headmaster lifted a brow as Regulus' eyes turned into slits. Regulus stood up and pushed his chair loudly, leaving without saying another word. That man was exactly what Evan called him - a poof. A fraud. And every instance in that room proved to him that more and more.

----

"Oi Black, what's got to you?" Evan looked up from his dinner in the Great Hall as Regulus silently slid into the spot besides him.

"Yeah! Hey did you hear -- that bloody Potter managed to get Severus to squack like a duck around that red-haired mudblood for at LEAST ten minutes before getting caught by Slughorn." Barty reached over to push some cake towards Regulus.

He gave Barty a small smile. "I assume he's got detention, then." Though he doubted Potter would care, knowing everything his mother told him over the past year.

"Obviously. It's Snape." Evan made a face, "Slughorn looovees him. I still don't know why he ratted you out to that old quack, though."

"Because I hurt that precious little half-blood's girl." Regulus said, "Just detention for today, anyway."

"That bloody man actually gave you detention?" Barty ran his hand through blond hair. "The twit."

"I expected it. Third time in there this week."

"Black you got to give it a rest. You've been here for less than a month." Evan let out a laugh, "What are you, catching up to your brother's detention amount?"

Regulus saw the quick, silent exchange his friends shared, but he just scratched the back of his neck, standing. It was almost seven. And he wasn't going to let his brother ruin detention even more.

"Oi Black where are you going - I didn't mean it like that!" Evan reached out to him as he stepped out from his seat at the table. "Come on, you know I was joking."

He waved his friend away, "Filtch is expecting me soon. Detention." Regulus nodded to the large clock on the far end of the Great Hall. "I'll see you both in the dorms."

---

Regulus meandered through the Hogwarts halls. He wasn't planning on coming early or on time, if he could help it, not when that was exactly what Dumbledore would want. The Ground Floor of Hogwarts was always the most packed, and, unfortunately, the one where he'd get the most stares. He hadn't quite figured out why exactly people found so much interest in him, but considering the starers were always adorned with the hideous red and gold, he knew his brother was behind it.

Regulus was proud, if he was honest, that he had managed to spend nearly the entire month avoiding his brother. It hadn't entirely been difficult, but still, it was immensely helpful in keeping the past year caged in the back of his mind. One single word about his brother, and that cage promptly unlocked.

Thank you Evan for that.

Avoiding Sirius was much easier in person compared to inside Regulus' mind, and he loathed that. He loathed that the scenarios he fell asleep to after his mother left the room most likely existed - but with James Potter replacing Regulus. He let out a sigh as he climbed up the staircase before it began moving, index fingers massaging circles on the sides of his temples. If only James Potter didn't exist, maybe his brother would have been his again. He spent 365 days waiting for Hogwarts, waiting to see his brother without the constant glare of his mother. But James Potter had to swoop in and take him away.

Typical Potters.

Regulus stepped off the staircase, moving onto the next. He was already ten minutes late, which was perfect. Quickly treading on each of the steps, Regulus had made it halfway before a familiar laugh from the left below him froze him in his place. Please no. Not now. But something inside him said the opposite. How desperately he wished to see his brother again. To see the Sirius Black he knew.

"Black, it's fine. No, I don't need those, come on. Save them for something more fun, not Filtch and his cat." Regulus heard the laugh of a stranger and his brother's mix into one as the two said their farewells, and his brother's footsteps slowly faded away.

Regulus gave out a quick sigh of relief only to realize that the other footsteps were nearing him. He started up the steps again, only to trip three steps later. Merlin. He wasn't this clumsy. Not usually. He was going to strangle his brother.

"Hey! Are you okay?" The stranger's voice came nearer as Regulus realized the boy was running up the stairs to him. "Here, let me help."

Stifling a groan, he slowly stood up, turning, "No, I'm -- "

It was James Potter.

The boy with an extended hand was James Potter. Their eyes met for a quick second, and Regulus rapidly glanced away, shooting up. The boy with eager hazel eyes was James Potter. James. Potter.

"I- I have to go." Regulus muttered. "Someone's waiting for me."

"Me too. I'll walk with you!"

Did the fool not realize who he was talking with?

"No. I'm okay." Regulus turned to head up the stairs, one flight left and a turn, and he would be there. He felt James Potter fall into pace besides him. How did his brother's best friend not recognize him?

"You're a first year, right? You look fam -- blimey!" Took him long enough. Regulus hastened his pace as he watched James Potter put the pieces together. "You're - you - you're - "

"Your best mate's evil brother?" Regulus flatly supplied.

"Well, not exactly how you put it, but something like that I suppose." They were almost at the Trophy Room - why was James Potter still following him if there was only that room in this corridor? Unless. "Do you have detention with Filtch too?"

Regulus stifled another groan. Just his luck.

"I would have made you out to be a more punctual type. What'd you do to get you stuck with Filtch?"

Regulus said nothing and pushed the door to the Trophy Room open, watching as James Potter almost ran face first into the cranky squib. A quick snicker escaped Regulus, only to be silenced by Filtch's glare. "It seems as the pair of you two finally decided to grace me with your presence." A quiet growl that Regulus did not expect to be possible escaped the old man. "You," he pointed at James Potter, "start from that end. And you," Filch let out a glare Regulus assumed was meant to be threatening, "start from there. Wands out. Hand them over."

Regulus watched as James Potter gave his, and followed suit. Filtch smiled smugly, "I will return every hour until each trophy is pristine. My my my what a long night for you."

"Not any longer than yours," Regulus muttered as he watched the door slam shut behind the squib.

Silence followed until the ever-perfect James Potter found the need to let his voice be heard. "Have you, y'know, spoken with Sirius yet?"

"Shut up Potter."

"Okay."

Regulus turned to the left corner, starting with the first trophy. Tom M. Riddle. For catching the heir of Slytherin (1943). He wiped it clean until it began shining and set it back down. What an odd trophy. Regulus bet anything that this was from a stupid Gryffindor versus Slytherin game - that rivalry had existed since the founding of this school, frankly. He moved on to the next, and the next, and continued until James Potter began humming and then softly murmuring lyrics that clawed through Regulus' mind.

"Un crocodile s'en allant à la guerre.
Disait au revoir à ses petits enfants
Traînant ses pieds, ses pieds dans la poussière
Il s'en allait combattre les éléphants."

Regulus froze for a second. That was his and Sirius' song. The song Cissy used to sing to them. The song his mother once ever so often sung. The song that James Potter should not have its words coming out from his mouth. Why does James Potter know that song?

He cleared his throat as he set down the trophy, "Will you ever stop butchering and disgracing that language?" French royals had to have been rolling in their graves with James Potter's horrid pronunciation. How did James Potter know that song?

Regulus watched as the corners of the boy's mouth slightly lifted. James Potter knew Regulus recognized that lullaby. He had to. "Can't blame a bloke for trying, Reggie. I've been practising -- "

"Don't call me that." First the song and now this? What was James Potter trying at? Where did you learn my name like that?

Was it Sirius?

Did Sirius speak about me?

Like that?

The golden flecks of James Potter's eyes flickered with amusement as he lifted his hands up, "Oi, don't get all hissy now." He let out a laugh, grabbing another trophy. Regulus watched, eyes narrowed, mind bombarding him with infinite questions. "Oh! You still haven't told me what got you here today. Come on, do share."

"I don't need to." Regulus knew that the boy would bring it straight back to his brother. And he could not stand to imagine the two laughing at him. He turned to the next trophy cup, realizing he only had a few left.

"Come on, Regulus do tell." Regulus could feel the eyes of the other boy on him as he trained his own eyes on the next dirty trophy cup. This was his brother's best mate. The one who took him away from Regulus. And now he's engaging in civil conversation as if nothing happened? No. He would not tell. "Fine then. I'll tell you mine first."

Regulus rolled his eyes, "You hexed that idiot to run around like a duck. I know." He had to give James Potter credit for that, because if there was anything Regulus enjoyed, it was Severus' humiliation. The second year acted as if he ruled the Slytherin house.

"Blimey, how'd you hear about it?"

"Because it was Severus Snape." You dolt. "The boy makes sure everyone in a 100-mile radius hears about his problems of the day."

James let out a snort, "Turns out he had hexed Evans - bit out of character for the git, if I do say so myself - and,"

"Snape hexed Evans?"

"Yeah! Made her hair all fall out or something of the sort."

"Oh." That was what had gotten Regulus into Dumbledore's office today.

"What'ya mean, 'oh?'" James looked at Regulus, now peaked with curiosity.

"Nothing."

"Okay." Regulus watched as James ran a hand through his unruly hair - how his mother would murder Regulus if he ever had his hair like that - and then ask, "why do you not like Snape? I thought every Slytherin would've been, y'know,"

"His best mate?" Regulus supplied, scoffing. "What, did my brother tell you we all stink and have nothing for brains?" What does Sirius talk with James about? Do they talk about all that he should be talking with Sirius about?

"No, not that. Just, y'know, Slytherin allegiance or whatnot," James said.

"Loyalty is for Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, not Slytherins." Regulus muttered, "I prefer not to waste my energy on someone who has me in the Headmaster's office every other day."

"What?" James exclaimed, "That's more than Sirius had when he first came here, blimey Regulus!"

Regulus said nothing. Why does everyone have to bring up Sirius?

"So what'ya do to him this time?" James pressed.

Regulus said nothing, reaching to grab the next trophy. And just as the metal met his fingertips

the cool softness of James Potter's hand brushed Regulus'.

"Oi, sorry, mate. You can have it." But Regulus had already jerked his hand away, standing a decent sum of paces further than before. It was just his hand. Just James Potter's hand. Nothing. It was nothing.

"Regulus," James Potter begun, softly, "Can I ask you something?"

Silence.

Regulus watched as James Potter placed the trophy back and scratched his neck. "What did Siri -"

"No." Nothing about Sirius. Nothing.

James Potter sighed, "Fine." Regulus looked at the door. When would Filch come back and take him out of this misery. "Then ask me something. Anything, really. Just let me ask you one question afterwards -- swear on Merlin it won't be about him."

Regulus looked up at the taller boy. He was standing just a few steps away from him, closer than before. James Potter, the boy who everyone adored. James Potter, the boy who ran away with Sirius. James Potter, the boy who had undoubtly heard everything Sirius must have said about him and his family. James Potter, the boy who still was talking to Regulus regardless. "Why?"

Why do you talk with me when my brother is probably so against it? Why do you act like I am not the evil boy your best friend told you about? Why did you call me Reg? Why did you know that song? Why?

"Why what?" James asked.

Regulus paused. "Nevermind."

"POTTER!" It was Sirius. His brother. Sirius.

James Potter glanced at Regulus, motioning him to wait, and stuck his head out of the door. "Blimey, Black, whatd'ya doing?"

"Rescuing you, of course!" Ah there was that voice. The one that used to whisper at Regulus' door and sneak him out of French lessons. The one he hadn't heard in ages.

"What?"

"Lupin found Filch asleep on the map. Peter checked to make sure" Sirius hissed, "So, here we are! Come on before he wakes up."

"What would I do without you three."

And something just then broke inside Regulus. He turned back to the trophies, only to realize James Potter was back, nearing him. What was he doing? Regulus looked up at the boy as he put his index finger to his lips.

"You can talk to him, y'know." James Potter said, motioning to the door. Regulus simply stood there. And James Potter waited. "Okay, suit yourself. But, Reg, really, try to talk to him. You never know what might happen. Obviously, I have the tiniest understanding of whatever went on between you both, but I know Sirius, and I know he rather his brother back." But that was the thing. James Potter knew Sirius and so Regulus would never have a chance no more.

Regulus shook his head as Sirius shouted from outside the door, "Potter are you coming? Peter wants to pinch some pasties from the kitchens before it's too late."

"One moment!"

Regulus met James Potter's eyes once more and shook his head again. He watched as the boy walked towards the door, turning back to face Regulus. "It was you wasn't it? That hexed Lily?"

Regulus let out a tight smile. "It was meant for Snape," and for some reason, the laugh that escaped James Potter made Regulus temporarily forget everything -- his brother outside the door, his mother's expectations, the fact that he was talking to James Potter.

"James?" Regulus asked silently, "Does - does my - does he ever talk about me?"

And he watched as the hazel eyes of James Potter flickered slightly, as his mouth opened slowly, only to have his voice drowned out by yet another bellow from Sirius Black. And for a quick second, they exchanged a pained look as James Potter said a quiet farewell and shut the door behind him.

Oh how he wanted to strangle Sirius Black at that moment.