“I told you to be a coward.”
“I hate to say it, but I think I owe Gandalf a fruit basket or something. If Sirius died, Harry- well… I don’t think I could have kept Harry off any ledges.”
Harry kept his eyes closed while he processed where he was and who was talking…
Tony returned from the mission and…
Harry’s blood froze with fear and his chest burst with a sharp pain.
Tony returned from the mission and Sirius was dying. Harry called Hermione and she sent Dumbledore and Lupin.
Then the words he just heard, the ones that had to come from Tony, clicked in his head.
Sirius was alive.
Dumbledore saved him.
Sirius was alive.
Forget a fruit basket, Harry was going to give Dumbledore all the galleons in his vault.
“I think Sirius was the first adult to truly care for Harry in Harry’s memory, they’ve always been close.”
Harry scrunched his nose when he realized that the person Tony was talking with was Lupin.
“Why weren’t you?”
Good question, Dad, Harry thought in puzzled agreement. He’d never thought about it much before, but Lupin was one of the marauders, best mates with his dad, and Harry never got so much as a Christmas card from him.
“I get that Sirius was in prison or whatever, which is absolute bullshit by the way, but I remember you and James being pretty good friends. And Lily never shut up about you.”
“Lily never shut up in general,” Lupin said, sounding uncomfortable.
“I live with Harry, Remus, I can play question evaders all night,” Tony scoffed. “What? Did you and James have some big fight before he died? Some reason you didn’t try and get his son?”
“I’m a werewolf,” Lupin said bluntly. “I’m also not a rich man, I- I never could have cared for Harry.”
“That’s bullshit,” Tony said glibly. “I mean I don’t know the whole wolf business, but there’s welfare and shit to help raise kids. I’d rather my kid grew up in the projects with a werewolf than where he did.”
Harry grimaced and was left in the uncomfortable situation of either pretending to wake up and being drawn in the conversation or containing to feign sleep and listen while he was being discussed.
Lupin’s next words firmed up Harry’s determination to stay out of the conversation as much as he wished he’d fallen back asleep the moment he heard Sirius was alive.
“Albus assured me that Harry was safest with Lily’s sister, I never thought to doubt him,” Lupin sighed. “Had I known that you were Harry’s father from the start, perhaps I could have done something more.”
“Sirius said you taught at Harry’s school when he was thirteen,” Tony said slowly in a tone Harry heard all too often.
Tony was about to trick Lupin into saying something he didn’t want to say.
“I did.”
“So you saw Harry when he was thirteen and I’m guessing he’s always looked like me, right? So why the hell didn’t you do something then? You couldn’t write a letter? Pick up a phone?”
He could have told me… Harry thought to himself, remembering all the times Lupin said Harry looked so much like his father. If Hermione and Justin Finch-Fletchey recognized Tony, and Tony was rather famous, then surely Lupin, who met Tony before, would have seen Tony in Harry’s features?
Harry could have met his dad before his fourth year. Harry could have met his dad before the Triwizard Tournament - before Cedric, before Voldemort.
A sick wave of anger crashed over Harry when he realized that Cedric could still be alive if Lupin had just said something to Harry in his third year.
“I don’t have a good answer,” Lupin said heavily, sounding exhausted. “I may have been a Gryffindor, but I’m afraid I was always the coward in our group.”
“You won’t hear any arguments from me,” Tony said before yawning hugely. “Are you staying on seriously Sirius watch or am I?”
“I will,” Lupin offered quickly. “You look exhausted. I can’t imagine you’ve had it easy with both Harry and Sirius here.”
Harry mentally rolled his eyes. As if Sirius were some sort of burden, all he did was drink in pubs, shag random blokes, and help Tony on deadly missions. Sirius wasn’t near the same level of burden as Harry was with his trail of dead bodies and ADHD and depression and… and all the Death Eaters and crazed killers that Harry brought along with him.
“They aren’t exactly crosses to be carried,” Tony said, making Harry grin despite himself. “Wake me and the kid up if Sirius wakes up before we do.”
After Lupin agreed, Harry heard as Tony’s footsteps approached where he laid and a gently hand was sat on the top of his head for a moment before it sounded as if Tony climbed on a bed near Harry’s.
Harry waited until he heard Tony’s breathing even out and eventually stutter in quiet snores before he opened his eyes and silently looked around the room. It was dark, but Harry could see Lupin’s back in a chair where he sat beside the bed that Sirius laid in. And, if Harry squinted, he could see Sirius’ chest rising and falling, proof Harry hadn’t imagined Tony saying he survived.
Nobody else was in the hospital like room, and Harry was relieved that Wanda’s body was gone, so Harry quietly got up so he didn’t wake Tony sleeping in the bed beside his.
“Harry!” Lupin looked up when Harry padded quietly over to Sirius. Lupin looked exhausted, but Harry was rather peeved at him at the moment, so Harry just nodded in greeting before climbing on Sirius’ bed by his feet and watching him sleep deeply.
Harry didn’t even realize how much he loved Sirius - needed him - until he thought he’d lose him.
“How are you?” Lupin asked in a kind voice while Harry held his hand just above Sirius’ mouth, rejoicing every time he felt a warm puff of air touch his skin.
“Fine,” Harry said, a bit shortly. He stretched out beside Sirius, knowing he wouldn’t care, and yanked the blanket until they were sharing it. Harry slept in Sirius’ bed more nights than not when he’d been at Grimmauld Place.
They were a matched fit for sleeping- when Sirius began thrashing in his sleep, he usually kicked Harry awake from a nightmare. When Harry screamed out in his sleep, Sirius jolted awake and kicked Harry awake.
And now Harry just needed to be able to sleep knowing Sirius would still be warm, breathing, and alive when Harry woke up.
Except apparently Lupin wanted to chat.
“I heard you’re not at Hogwarts anymore,” he said, smiling slightly when he saw Harry cozying up with Sirius. “That must be odd.”
“You mean brilliant?” Harry drawled. “Because it is brilliant.”
Lupin seemed taken aback by Harry’s response, but Harry wasn’t exactly feeling pleasant toward him just then. Not only was Tony right and Lupin never once tried to really interact with Harry or even tell him about Tony, but Lupin was also the one who crushed Sirius’ self-esteem to nothing and made him think he was some ugly, unlovable, loser.
So, no.
Harry wasn’t Lupin’s biggest fan at the moment.
“Oh, well I’m glad you’re adjusting,” Lupin said. He cleared his throat quietly and shifted in the seat that didn’t look very comfortable. “How are you and your father getting along?”
“We’re as close as can be,” Harry lied breezily. “It’s shocking how close you can get to someone when you’ve known them for five whole months.”
“Ah, good.” Lupin sounded and looked discomfited and Harry nearly grinned. “And… has it been nice having Sirius around? I know the two of you have always gotten along.”
Harry rolled on his side so his back was to Lupin so his face was hidden. He really hoped Sirius and Tony were both deeply asleep, he’d hate for them to think he was serious.
“I thought it would be awkward for me, with T- Dad and Sirius, but it’s been great, really. It’s sort of like having two dads now, you know?”
It took a moment before Lupin picked up what Harry was trying to imply, and Harry was smiling outright when he did. It was stretching the truth to its breaking point, since Harry was fairly sure they’d just shagged once - which was why Harry was never going to go looking for tylenol in the middle of the night again - but Harry hoped it bothered Lupin.
Tonks was pretty, but Tony was listed as one of the most eligible bachelors in the world, something Gwen said basically meant he was ‘hot, rich, and single’.
“Your father and Sirius are- are… together?” Lupin asked, sounding shocked.
“Mhmm,” Harry hummed, starting to feel drowsy again. “They call each other ‘love’ and ‘darling’, it’s fucking disgusting, but I’ve never seen Sirius so happy.”
Lupin was quiet for long enough that Harry truly did begin to fall back asleep. And just before he drifted off, he heard a soft, “That’s nice.”
It was nice. It was nice that Lupin knew he wasn’t the only person in the world who got to be happy.
When Harry woke up next, it was to the scratchy feeling of being licked on the face.
“Get off,” Harry laughed, shoving the giant black dog on his chest until he fell over on the floor.
Padfoot looked up at Harry with his tongue wagging and a smile curling up his muzzle. Lupin’s chair was empty, so was Tony’s bed, and Harry could see the sunlight streaming through clear windows.
“Are you hiding as Padfoot because you think I won’t be pissed at a dog?” Harry asked him, adopting a stern expression.
Padfoot woofed and wagged his tail, smacking it against the tiled floor.
“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Harry scowled. He slid off the bed and kneeled in front of Padfoot. “I’m seri— I am the opposite of joking,” he snapped, wiping the smile off Padfoot’s muzzle. Harry lowered his voice to something softer, more genuine.
“Please, Pads…” Harry reached out to pat the top of Padfoot’s head and stare in his eyes that were always grey. “You promised not to be a hero. You promised- you promised not to leave me, Sirius,” Harry’s voice broke and his face crumpled. “You swore it, Siri.”
The fur beneath Harry’s hand changed to thick black hair and Harry was pulled forward in a crushing embrace that he desperately returned.
“I’m sorry, I’m so bloody sorry…”
“I thought you were dead. I thought you were gone.”
“I’d never leave you like that, I swear.”
“You almost did.”
“I know.”
“I told you to be a coward.”
“I know you did. I’m sorry.”
Harry pulled until Sirius let him fall back enough that Harry could look him in his eyes.
“Promise to never do it again,” Harry said, his voice rough from crying. He stared hard in Sirius’ eyes and willed him to understand what a nightmare the last seventy-two hours had been for him. “Please, Siri, promise you won’t go with them again.”
When Sirius wouldn’t - couldn’t - Harry got up with a cold mask in place.
“At least you’ll die a hero, right, Padfoot? Always wanted to be like James, didn’t you?”
When Sirius’ face crumpled and Harry hoped he felt even a fraction of the pain Harry did when he thought his godfather was dead, Harry spun on his heel and went up to his flat to find Tony.
“Either you quit or I’m moving out.”
Tony was laying on the sofa on his back with one arm tucked beneath his head and another laying over his chest. He had his eyes closed, but Harry knew he was awake.
“Done.”
Harry hesitated, a rant already on the tip of his tongue. “What?”
Tony peeked one eye open at Harry. “I quit. I’m going to kill Darth Vader when we find him, then I’m done. Iron Man is hanging up his jersey.”
Harry moved to sit in Tony’s usual chair and stared uncertainly at him. “Just because I said it?” he asked. “Or- or were you always planning on quitting?”
Not that it really mattered to Harry one way or another, but Harry didn’t understand why Tony so easily gave up something he seemed to love.
Tony sat up and shrugged while he ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t- I can’t just die and leave you with Rhodey,” he said baldly, turning to look at Harry. “You’re my kid and not being shot by some OP robot seems more important than being the hero.”
Harry had no idea what ‘OP’ was, probably the tech-talk that he could never really follow, but he did understand the rest of it.
“I’m- I’m more important than you being a hero?” Harry asked, embarrassed by the croak in his voice.
James and Lily sacrificed themselves for Harry.
Sirius thought saving the world was more of a priority over staying with Harry.
But Tony… Tony was willing to live for Harry.
Tony was willing to take the cowards way out - the same path Harry took when he came to New York - to be there for Harry.
“I guess so.” Tony grinned crookedly, as if he hadn’t just tipped Harry’s world upside down. “How’s pizza for dinner sound?”
Terrible, honestly.
“Sounds good… Dad.”