“I’ll always want you to come back.”
“I’m going to miss you.”
Harry glanced over at Peter and felt his stomach flip at his genuinely despondent expression. The two of them were sitting on top of the ramp at the skate park Peter liked, doing more talking than skating, and Harry had carefully explained that he would be returning to his boarding school in a couple of days.
Technically he’d be staying with Sirius at his family home in London for a week, then he’d be going back to school.
“I’m, er, going to miss you too,” Harry admitted. He was grateful that the city didn’t seem to pay much for upkeep in the park and that half the lights didn’t work when his face turned red at the honest admission.
Harry missed Ron and Hermione, somehow even more once they began chatting once a day on Sirius’ mirror, but he didn’t fancy leaving Peter and Gwen either.
Particularly not Peter.
“I wish you could go,” Harry sighed. In an ideal world, Peter would be a wizard as well and then he could just go to Hogwarts and Harry could spend a couple months with his friends, come home for the holiday, then go back and finish his OWLS.
“Sign me up,” Peter told him with a nudge of his shoulder and a crooked grin. “I can fake an accent, mate,” he said in what was possibly the worst imitation of Harry’s own accent that Harry had ever heard.
Harry laughed and playfully pushed him. “You can’t,” he said with a shake of his head. “That was terrible, Peter.”
“Not as bad as the weird bearded guy and your hot god-dad,” Peter winked at Harry and Harry scowled.
Ever since Dumbledore and Sirius showed up at Tony’s right in front of Peter and Gwen, Harry had been teased nonstop by Gwen about how ‘hot’ Sirius and Tony both were.
And it was disgusting.
“He’s not hot,” Harry said tersely, rolling his eyes for effect. “I’ll tell him you said so though, his ego will never be the same.”
Peter leaned back on the ramp, placing one hand behind Harry, and scooted just a tad closer to him. He kicked Harry’s foot lightly, and grinned.
“Don’t be jealous, Stark, he’s much too old for me. I prefer my guys to be young, shit skaters, and enrolled in mysterious boarding schools.”
Harry sniffed and stuck his nose in the air in a haughty manner. “I’m not a shit skater.”
Peter grinned and looked cocky. “Oh, Bright Eyes, you are.”
Harry got to his feet and grabbed his skateboard from behind him. “Come on then, show me how it’s done oh brilliant one.”
Peter snagged his phone and set it to play what he embarrassingly had titled ‘Peter & Harry’s Playlist’ and then jumped up to grab his board.
“Watch how it’s done,” he winked. He puckered his lips out. “A kiss for luck?”
Harry rolled his eyes but did it anyway. “I hope you fall, prat.”
“I won’t.”
He didn’t.
Peter skated like Harry liked to think he flew. He stepped on his board and flipped it beneath his feet before smoothly moving down the ramp, riding back up the other side, flipping it again, and skating back up to where Harry stood with am impressed look.
“Beat that, Bright Eyes.”
Harry couldn’t, but he had fun trying.
The two of them faffed around for a few hours longer, delaying the inevitable goodbye. Peter skated, Harry fell, and they both sang along to Peter’s little speaker he brought until the moon was directly above their heads and Harry had laughed more than ever before.
By the time Harry made it back to the tower, when his clock said three, there was an ache in his chest.
Harry missed his friends, he missed flying, he missed the place he used to love. He hadn’t planned on ever going back, but he also hadn’t planned on Voldemort being able to track him or Dumbledore showing up to ask him to come back.
How was Harry meant to turn away? He couldn’t protect himself as a muggle, he didn’t think anyone would give him the option to anyway. Tony didn’t need Harry to protect him, Merlin knew the man protected himself just fine, but how could Harry look him in the face after all he’d done for him and act like a coward?
Just because Happy said that not everyone was meant to be a hero didn’t mean that people didn’t expect it anyway.
There was a prophecy over Harry’s head, saying he was meant to defeat Voldemort and keep people safe. There were people who cared about Harry - Tony and Sirius and Ron and Hermione - who would despise him if they knew he was a coward.
Maybe not Sirius, but he was the exception.
How was Harry meant to be a part of Tony’s family of heroes as the lone coward? The one who saw a whole world that depended on him to help them and turned his back?
Tony could say he loved Harry all he wanted, an odd sentiment that Harry ignored rather than processed, but he Harry didn’t deserve that love. He didn’t deserve the nice things Tony had done for him or the way that he given Harry a home and an odd group of people to call family.
But he could go to Hogwarts, learn to be an actual wizard, and then he could earn it when he’d done something right.
Even if leaving felt like maybe it was the wrong decision.
*****
“Not too late to back out.” Tony sat in the seat across from Harry on his private jet. He was dressed casually and had his legs crossed and an easy grin on his face. Since it was the fifth time he’d told Harry that he didn’t have to go back, in the last hour since they left New York, Harry didn’t think he really felt all that casually about it.
“It’ll be brilliant,” Harry said. His voice sounded flat even to his own ears, but it had been a truly terrible goodbye with Pepper and Joey that morning.
Pepper had cried and Joey just barked and wagged his tail. Harry couldn’t stand the thought of Joey waiting for Harry to get home and his tail sinking lower and lower when Harry didn’t return for months.
December 18th had never looked so far away as it currently did.
“If you change your mind, just text me,” Tony said, again. “I’ll come get you right away. Okay?”
Harry nodded and stared out the window. He watched the clouds around them and worked to swallow down the lump in his throat. Tony must have sensed that the rest of the conversation would be one-sided, so he fell silent and stared unhappily out the window as well.
The trip that took half a day when Harry made it to New York only lasted a few hours in Tony’s jet. When they landed, Harry’s heart lifted slightly to see Padfoot barking his head off on the strip beside the jet along with Professor Lupin and a pink-haired witch that Harry assumed was Sirius’ cousin Tonks. He’d never met her before, but the way she was chatting to Lupin was a bit of a giveaway.
Harry wondered, again, if Sirius had truly threatened to kill Lupin because he was shagging Tonks, as he said, or if they’d gotten into some sort of spat. Sirius wasn’t usually a jealous bloke, but Harry supposed he didn’t know much about his godfathers love life either.
Thankfully.
“Here.” Tony handed Harry a backpack, a red and gold one that looked like a Gryffindor bag if it weren’t for the Iron Man logo on the front.
“It’s got portable chargers and some other junk food you like in it,” Tony explained at Harry’s questioning look. “You have your laser?”
Harry bit back a grin and patted his pocket for the tiny, but effective, weapon Tony gave him and insisted he took to Hogwarts with him. It was beside his phone and the ‘StarkPods’, which were apparently just earbuds that worked around magic.
“You’ve got your clothes, books, camera?” Tony asked. He got to his feet and stretched with another frown aimed out the window.
“In my trunk,” Harry said quietly. He cleared his throat, “Thank you.”
When Tony returned from shopping with Dumbledore, Harry had later been glad for his slip of the tongue in calling Tony dad. It had been perhaps the most uncomfortable thing Harry had ever done, including when he asked Cho Chang to the Yule Ball and got shot down, but when he looked through the bags he’d been thankful for it.
Tony didn’t just buy Harry spellbooks and standard supplies. He’d apparently gone mad in Diagon Alley and supplied Harry with everyone from new robes to a new trunk and a cage for Hedwig that his owl was currently sleeping in. And, best of all, a small black camera.
It was a bit moot since Harry had his phone, but it has made him cry in the shower all the same.
“Last chance, kid,” Tony said after he drug Harry’s trunk from the back of the cabin to the exit. “I’m lying, actually, it’s never too late to go home.”
Harry looked out the window and saw Padfoot chasing his own tail and barking away. It was almost enough to make him smile if it wasn’t a painful reminder that Joey was probably doing the same thing back home.
It was unfair that cats could go to Hogwarts but dogs couldn’t. Psycho called it canine discrimination and Harry was inclined to agree with her just that once.
“I have to,” Harry said apologetically. He grabbed the handle of his trunk and squared his shoulders determinedly. “I’ll be back soon, if- if you still want me to.”
Tony sighed and sat Hedwig’s cage down on Harry’s trunk.
“Kid, I’ll always want you to come back,” he said. He held his arms out and mustered up a smile that looked pained. “Got a hug for your old man?”
Harry hesitated. He stepped forward very carefully and let Tony put his arms around him in a loose embrace. Harry tried not to tense up and he focused on breathing and ignoring the hands on his back.
“Text me every day or I’m breaking in that school and kidnapping you,” Tony said gruffly when he let Harry go and they both averted their eyes from each other.
“Again,” Harry drawled in an attempt to break the awkward air between them. It worked, a bit, because Tony laughed and picked up Hedwig’s cage once more.
“Yeah, again,” he said. He flicked his sunglasses, the silver mirrored copy of Harry’s own sunglasses, down on his face and gave Harry a smirk. “Let’s get this over with.”
All in all, the handoff could have gone worse.
When Harry and Tony stepped off the jet, Professor Lupin let out a startled laugh.
“Jesus,” he breathed. His eyes flicked between the two of them quickly enough for Harry to feel self-conscious. “How the hell did I miss it?”
“Miss what?” Harry asked, shoving Padfoot away when he jumped up on him. “Quit, Pads, this is my favorite fucking jacket.”
Sirius barked in what was definitely amusement and Tonks and Lupin both laughed.
“The fact that you,” Tonks pointed at Harry, “look just like him,” she pointed at Tony. She stepped forward and eagerly offered Tony a hand, “Nymphadora Tonks, my dad’s going to lose his mind when he finds out I got to meet you.”
“Harry’s dad, and I’ll lose my mind if Harry doesn’t make it to your secret playhouse safely,” Tony said brightly as he shook Tonks’ hand. “Moony, right?” he asked Lupin, shaking his hand as well. “Been a while, you look like hell.”
Harry and Tonks frowned, but Sirius let out another joyful bark.
Lupin’s brows pinched in the middle and he sent an annoyed look at where Sirius danced around as Padfoot.
“Thanks,” he said, releasing Tony’s hand. He gave Harry a more warm smile, just as friendly as he’d been in Harry’s third year. “Are you ready, Harry? Molly’s preparing quite the welcome party for you.”
Harry bit his lip and glanced uncertainly at Tony while Tonks shrunk his trunk and handed Hedwig off to Lupin.
“I guess so,” he answered Lupin, still looking at Tony. “Er… I’ll see you soon, I guess. Don’t forget to feed Joey, okay?”
Tony raised his brows, “Do we have a Joey in our family? I could have sworn the little pest was named Asshole with a British accent.”
Harry rolled his eyes, much less effectively behind the sunglasses that were a necessity in New York and less so in London.
“Just… don’t forget to feed him,” Harry insisted. He shuffled his feet and twisted his lips in a scowl. “Please.”
“I won’t,” Tony said. “And you don’t forget to text me and also stay away from dragons and snakes and Darth Vader, okay?”
“Yeah,” Harry agreed, smirking at Tonks and Lupin’s looks of confusion. “Er… bye then.”
“Bye, kid, love you.”
Harry raised his hand in acknowledgement while Lupin stepped closer and held Harry’s elbow firmly.
“Ready?”
No.
“Yeah.”
As soon as Harry apparated away with Remus and Tonks left with Harry’s belongings, Tony stared grimly down at Sirius.
“Don’t let him get hurt,” he said. “I’ll kick anyone’s ass I have to if I get my son back in less than perfect condition.”
Sirius did his best to nod before bounding off to apparate back to Grimmauld Place and spend the week with his godson.
*****
After a loud and insane dinner consisting of every Weasley - and Sirius, Lupin, Tonks, and the real Mad-Eye Moody - demanding Harry tell them about New York and about Tony and about his summer, Harry had been relieved to escape to his and Ron’s room to talk with his friends. Or, he had been, until Ron and Hermione informed him of what Harry had been missing in the wizarding news.
Apparently, just because Sirius kept Harry informed on the war efforts didn’t mean he’d kept Harry fully informed.
“So everyone thinks I’m some liar who just ran off to hide from my lies?!” Harry demanded. He had gotten to his feet around the time Hermione mentioned Rita Skeeter leading some smear campaign against him and paced furiously in the large and stuffy room.
The room that was nothing like Harry’s airy and clean bedroom back at the tower.
“Not everyone is going to believe her,” Hermione said quickly. She twisted her fingers together from where she sat beside Ron on his bed and watched Harry nervously.
“‘Not everyone’,” Harry scoffed. He stopped for a moment to glare at Ron and Hermione, misplaced targets for his anger. “And what’s the story about Cedric, huh?” he demanded, pushing past the pang of grief when he thought of the kind Hufflepuff who’d been struck down for no reason. “Suppose I killed him?”
“Freak accident, they said,” Ron answered hesitantly. “Harry, mate, ignore it. Who cares? Look at the bright side, yeah?”
Harry gave him an unimpressed look. “What bright side?”
“You didn’t have to help clean this shit hole all summer, you’ve got a dad who sounds wicked cool, and if Malfoy gives you any shit when we get back you can just have Tony blast a hole in his snotty little head.”
Harry snorted at Ron’s quick list of good things that had happened. Then, at the image of Tony using his Iron Man weapons against Malfoy, he smirked and dug his little laser from his pocket.
“Oi, you guys wanna see something wicked?”
Sirius burst in the room only a minute later with a frantic look on his face. He looked from where Harry was hastily pocketing the weapon to where Ron and Hermione sat, wide-eyed, to the smoking hole in the wall that Fred was curiously poking his head through from the other side.
“Accidental magic?” Sirius asked hopefully.
“Yes,” Harry lied with a bright smile that fooled no one. “Accidental magic, set off by my godfather forgetting to tell me that I’m apparently a chronic liar.”
Sirius shrugged, unashamed, and then leaned against the doorway, occasionally glancing at the wall with a grin pulling at his lips.
“Slipped my mind,” he said easily, a lie as unbelievable as Harry’s. “You wanna come see if that accidental magic can destroy an annoying portrait?”
Hermione and Mrs Weasley hadn’t been impressed, but Sirius, the twins, and Ginny all cheered when they discovered that, yes, Harry could destroy the portrait of Sirius’ hateful mum, and the wall behind it, with a quick click of a button.
Harry’s week at Grimmauld passed by too quickly. He spent time with his friends and exchanged texts at night with Tony and Peter (Harry had to ask Tony if he could buy another StarkPhone for Hermione when she lost her mind the first time he used his in front of her. Tony said he’d send her one and Harry privately apologized to Ron when Hermione declared Tony as ‘her favorite human on Earth’.).
Harry also watched Sirius and Lupin dance around each other with a look of amusement. Whatever happened, and Sirius refused to elaborate, but Harry had never seen Sirius hold a grudge against anyone like he was Lupin. Harry spent a bit of time with Tonks, when she helped him and the twins set pranks for Sirius’ nasty house-elf Kreacher, and had to admit that she wasn’t all that bad, a bit like Sirius really, so his bemusement at Sirius and Lupin’s spat only grew.
Mostly though, Harry tried to spend as much time with Sirius as he could without seeming too clingy and desperate.
“Comfy there?” Sirius poked Harry in the side and grinned when Harry kicked at him from where he was laying in Sirius’ bed. It had become a habit for them to hide away in Sirius’ room after dinner and talk late in the night, and as Harry was set to return to Hogwarts the next day, he found he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Sirius any more than he had leaving New York.
Sirius had just finished telling a story about Harry’s dad, James, riding his bike in a pond one summer, and Harry fell silent as his thoughts drug him off in a different direction than the humor Sirius had been aiming for.
“Do you think he’d be unhappy for me to have Tony as something like a parent?” Harry asked without looking at Sirius. It had been weighing on him since he called Tony dad and it bothered him to think that James Potter, who loved Harry so much he had died to protect him, even knowing Harry wasn’t biologically his, would be unhappy with him.
“Who? James?”
“Yeah.”
Sirius scooted closer to Harry and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. And sometimes Harry thought that Sirius was the only one that touch came so easily for. But Sirius got it, didn’t he? Sirius knew that touch wasn’t always kind and didn’t come easily to some people. Harry never had to worry if Sirius was going to strike him for no reason; Sirius of all people knew how that felt.
“Not at all,” Sirius said, his voice confident and sure. He smiled down at Harry when Harry glanced up and saw his grey eyes were soft and genuine. “I imagine that James is somewhere in the afterlife with Lily, both just doing happy dances every time your phone dings with a text from your dad.”
Harry fidgeted. “You really think that?”
Sirius ruffled Harry’s hair with his free hand. “I know it.”
Harry swatted at his hand playfully, scowling as he fixed his hair back down. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to trust you. You are a mass murderer, Pads.”
Sirius laughed, shaking Harry slightly as he did. “Yeah? This coming from the Boy-Who-Lies?” he teased, quoting Harry’s new daft moniker in the papers.
The two of them argued for a while about who had the worse public reputation until Harry finally conceded that being a murderer and traitor was perhaps worse than being a lying lunatic.
“How bad do you think Hogwarts is going to suck this year?” Harry asked softly when they’d settled down and both comfortably laid against Sirius’ headboard.
“If it sucks at all, then you leave,” Sirius said flippantly. He waved his hand airily, “You’re not allowed to be unhappy, kiddo. Not anymore.”
Harry sighed and closed his eyes, breathing away the headache that grew every time he thought of going back to Hogwarts the next morning. All his excitement he’d once felt gave away to nerves once he’d been informed fully of the public opinion of him.
He was idly glad that Sirius hadn’t bothered to tell him, it would have made returning that much harder and Harry barely got off the jet as it was.
“I think you’re wrong, Siri,” Harry said softly after Sirius extinguished the light and tossed Harry the blanket that was unofficially his. “Everyone’s allowed to be unhappy.”
Harry couldn’t see Sirius in the dark, but he still felt the weight of his stare.
“If it’s too much, just tell me,” he said quietly. “No ledges, Harry. Promise me if it gets that bad that you’ll get ahold of me or Tony or someone and we can do something else. OWLS aren’t worth your life.”
They weren’t. Harry wasn’t all that fussed about OWLS, or his grades in general. There weren’t many things more important than his life, but the people who called him family and loved him - Tony, Sirius, Pepper, Ron, Hermione - were and Harry was determined to be a person who deserved their love.
“I promise,” he lied.