“This is for you.”
Tuesday, June 14
“Padfoot, please, let’s just go,” Harry whispered. He kept shooting glances up at the tower behind him, probably looking paranoid. “Why can’t we fly to Russia or somewhere like I did here? We don’t need new identities.”
“It can’t be that bad, kiddo, what’s wrong?”
Harry sank to the ground, sitting in the grass and letting Joey jump all over him with soft little yips and barks. “He keeps talking to me,” Harry said quickly. “Asking me stuff, telling me stuff, I hate it here. I miss you, I just want to go. Before it gets- gets more complicated.”
Joey, one of those complications, let out a bark that sounded indignant enough to make Sirius laugh on the other end of the phone.
“Little Arsehole over there doesn’t seem to agree,” Sirius said playfully. “What kind of questions is he asking?”
“Everything!” Harry wailed, knowing he sounded like a little kid but not caring much as it was only Sirius he was talking to. “What food do I like?”
“Treacle tart.”
“What kind of stuff do I like about school?”
“Eating, flying, and mysteries.”
“What are my ‘goals for the future’?”
“Making it to twenty.”
“And he even bloody asked if I ever dated anyone!”
“Did you tell him about Parvati?”
“No,” Harry scowled, “I did not tell him about Parvati, I told him to piss off then brought Joey outside to use the bathroom.”
“Harry, did you tell him anything?”
“No.”
Sirius sighed on his end of the phone. “Harry, he’s trying to get to know you. Why won’t you let him?”
“Because I don’t want him to know anything,” Harry hissed. “And- and there’s all that freaky stuff I can’t talk about.”
And Harry didn’t want to tell him things about himself. Tony had tried all through breakfast and lunch, cornering Harry as he felt guilty keeping Joey locked up in a single room when he had so much energy. Harry had tried to subtly ask if he had work to do (‘Do you not have anything better to do?’) and found out that Tony cancelled an entire week worth of work to ‘spend time with his son and grandson’.
“Don’t call it freaky stuff, Harry,” Sirius said, well, seriously. “It’s magic and you can tell him. I don’t know the laws in America all that well, but they put videos of Loki the Trickster God on the telly, so they’re obviously not hiding much, are they? ALSO,” he raised his voice when Harry scoffed, “you’re Tony’s son, so that means he can know. He could have known the moment he knocked up a witch.”
Harry felt something twist in his gut that felt a lot like panic. “Padfoot, it’s still us, right? You didn’t- you didn’t change your mind? Right?”
“Harry, I’ll never change my mind about you. You can tell Tony that your godfather is a convicted mass murderer and I’d still love you. Oh, hey, by the way, did you tell him anything about me?”
“Yeah, Pads, right off the bat I said ‘the friend I need an identity for is an escaped inmate, don’t worry, we’ll send you letters’,” Harry scoffed. “No, you daft prat, I didn’t.”
Sirius laughed, “Just checking. I don’t care if you do, kiddo, he’s your dad, tell him what you want.”
“Guess that’s nothing then,” Harry sighed. He held tight to Joey’s leash as he tried to take off after a bird. “Good talk, Padfoot, I’ve got to get back to interrogations now. I- I miss you. Oh! Wait! Send me some bloody money, Pads, seriously, I need toothpaste, you git.”
“Have your dad buy it,” Sirius quipped cheerily. “Love you, kiddo, text message me later?”
“Nope.” Harry grinned when he hung up on his godfather. “Oi! Arsehole! C’mon,” Harry clicked his tongue and gave Joey’s leash a gentle tug. “Let’s get back to interrogations, eh?”
Joey barked and tried to leap up in Harry’s arms, which made him grin. If nothing else, Tony showing Harry where the fenced in ‘backyard’ behind Stark Tower, was useful. Harry didn’t really fancy walking up and down the sidewalk in the sweltering heat with the tiny pup as they tried to not get ran over by the crowds always speed walking or stopping to gawk and take photos.
It was mildly ironic that Harry went from being famous for having dead parents, to having a parent who was probably just as famous as Harry.
At least no crazy witches or wizards ever tried to take photographs in front of the Dursley house. Although… Harry thought about it as he and Joey slipped on to the posh lift to take them back to the top floor… they probably would have, if they’d known where Harry lived.
An incredibly creepy thought, honestly.
Harry sighed heavily when he stepped off the lift and saw Tony waiting for him on the sofa.
He smiled at Harry and held up a video game controller. “You any good at Xbox?”
Harry rolled his eyes. The closest he ever got to playing Xbox was when he cleaned Dudley’s controllers for him.
“Seven year running champion,” Harry said drily. “I was born with a controller in my hand.”
“You can joke if you want, but my mom, your grandma, said that I was born with a circuit board in mine,” Tony grinned. “And since I was the reigning champion eight years ago, how about a game?”
Harry set Joey on the floor and watched him carefully as he ran straight to his basked of chew toys by Harry’s bedroom door. “No.”
Tony stuck his lower lip out in a pout that looked ridiculous on his grown face. “Pleaseee?”
Harry stayed firm, “No.”
“Fine.” Tony ducked his head and sniffled, he was a dramatic git, really. “I guess I’ll just go back to asking you a million questions about yourself.”
“I don’t actually know how to play,” Harry said hastily. “I’ve never played before.”
“Never played before?” Tony lifted his head and Harry could see the glimmer in his eyes that meant he sensed an easy victory in swindling Harry into playing. “Then you have to learn! What else are you and your dozens of friends going to do when they come over? Get drunk and steal my car?”
Harry and his friend had stolen a car before, actually. He grinned a little at the reminder and moved to the sitting room. Tony patted the sofa cushion, but Harry sat on the floor with his back resting against it instead so Joey could sit with him when he was done chasing his tennis ball.
“That was the first choice,” Harry told Tony. “Second choice was getting pissed and stealing your flying suit.”
Tony laughed and tossed one of the wireless black controllers to Harry. “Well now you can invite people over and play Xbox instead.”
Harry scowled as Tony turned on the telly and the video game screen came to life. “I’m not inviting people over because one, I don’t have friends here, two, I don’t need friends here, because three, I’m leaving soon.”
“Or you stay forever and I make you your own flying suit.”
Harry twisted his neck so quick to look at Tony that he was certain the man brief saw the flash of excitement in his eyes before he snapped that trunk closed and glowered at him.
“I’m not staying forever, I am leaving,” Harry grit out.
“Sure, kid,” Tony had the audacity to wink, as if it were funny to try and constantly talk Harry into abandoning his family. “In the meantime though, you ready to get your next driving lesson?”
Harry watched the screen shift to a snow covered road with sleekly designed cars zooming all over it and jerked his chin in a nod. “If you’re ready to get your arse kicked.”
Joey barked, which made Harry laugh.
“I knew he’d respond to it eventually,” he said fondly. He pat the floor beside him and clicked his tongue, “C’mon, buddy, come help me win.”
Joey did sit with Harry, chewing away on his giant chew bone, but Harry still lost, repeatedly.
“It shouldn’t be so bloody hard!” Harry yelled after they’d been playing for well over an hour and Harry lost well over half a dozen times. He mashed the button Tony told him would make him accelerate and growled along with Joey when he drove off a cliff in the game. “This is- is bollocks!”
Tony laughed and then cheered when his bloody fucking car crossed the finish line. “Undefeated!” he cried. He grinned at Harry held his controller up. “Tenth times the charm?”
Harry hated that game. “Fine,” he spat. He jumped to his feet to get a drink before the new round began, “I’m winning this time.”
“Keep telling yourself that and maybe it’ll work,” Tony called over his shoulder to Harry. “Did you never play video games with any of your old friends?”
Harry was distracted as he opened the fridge and looked through the endless groceries that Pepper delivered for a normal drink. “No. Ron’s family didn’t have a telly and I never went to Hermione’s.”
Harry didn’t even realize his slip up until he brought back two bottles of water and handed Tony one and retook his seat on the floor.
“They go to your school?”
Damn.
He hadn’t meant to say that.
“No,” Harry snapped, closing the subject. “And you said if I played, you wouldn’t ask questions.”
“Hey, no questions here,” Tony said innocently before smirking, “Ready to lose?”
Harry was ready to win.
“You probably cheated,” Harry grumbled as he poked at the pasta Tony ordered for dinner. Harry dropped a piece of chicken to the floor for Joey and grinned as the puppy attacked it with ferocity.
“I did not,” Tony sniffed haughtily. “I mean, I tried, obviously, but it’s hard to cheat at racing. It’s all in the thumbs, kid,” he wiggled his thumbs and Harry laughed a little.
“We could play again tomorrow? If you want?” Harry said slowly, ducking his head as he did. “Unless you don’t want to lose?”
Tony’s smile was ear to ear when Harry did peek up at him through his fringe.
“I’ve got an incredibly important meeting that I can’t just send Pepper to do at eight then I’m all yours,” he said with enough enthusiasm to make Harry feel hot. “I’ll make you a pro gamer in no time.”
Harry shrugged, he didn’t really care about being a pro, it had just been a nice way to waste time, then looked outside and felt his eyes snag on the sunset.
“It’s pretty here,” Harry said quietly. “I used to watch the sunset at school, sometimes, it was peaceful.”
Technically, Harry used to sit in the Astronomy Tower after classes ended, eating food the twins snuck to him, in an effort to talk to Sirius and hide from his classmates and their whispers and their badges.
~~~~~
“I hate it here, Sirius,” Harry whispered one night as he slumped against the wall and watched the sun go down. “Everyone here hates me, or thinks I’m mad, or thinks I’m an attention seeking prat, or thinks it was some wicked prank.”
“Ron still not talking to you?” Sirius asked, his voice gentle and coaxing. “He’ll come around, Harry. Not that you should forgive him when he does, not quickly anyway. James and Rem didn’t talk to me for the second half of our fifth year.”
Harry swallowed harshly and tried to shrug away the hurt of his first friend’s rejection. “Were you lonely?”
“Terribly. Are you now?”
“Terribly,” Harry admitted. He tried to rub at his face in a natural seeming gesture to keep the single traitorous tear from being seen by Sirius. “I hate it here,” he said again, also hating the plaintive tone to his voice. “I wish I could come live with you. We could run away, you could teach me magic.”
Sirius smiled sadly. “You’ll be happy there again, Harry, just hold on and keep your chin high.”
Harry laughed and it sounded as hollow as he felt. “Or I could jump over the rail and be done with it all.”
Sirius blanched in the mirror before he brought it right up close to his face. “Don’t ever say that again, Harry James, or I’ll come kidnap you right now and never let you out of my sight.”
Harry was the one who smiled sadly at that. He wouldn’t say it again, even if it sometimes sounded like a brilliant idea, but… “Wish you would, Sirius.”
“I wish I could too.”
~~~~~
“We should go to Malibu next weekend,” Tony said, breaking Harry from the morose thoughts the sunset always brought him. “Have you ever seen the ocean?”
“Does flying over it count?”
“Technically? Yes. For the purpose of going to Malibu, seeing the ocean, and staying in the second greatest city in the country? No.”
Harry took a last bite of the pasta before pushing it away. “Why do you say stuff like that?” he sighed. He narrowed his eyes and Tony and shook his head. “You’re getting your hopes up and you’re going to be disappointed when I leave.”
Tony quirked his brow and smirked a little, “So don’t leave.”
Harry scowled and got to his feet, snatching Joey quickly off the floor. “Oh, I’m leaving,” he said firmly. “Soon. So you can- you can just go to Malibu with your little team of heroes and I’ll be in Russia watching the sunset.”
“Or you and I can go see Russia the weekend after next,” Tony called to him with his damn unwavering smile and seemingly endless cheer. “Night, kid!”
Harry didn’t slam his door, always certain that would be the last straw before Tony snapped, but he did give him a last withering look over his shoulder. “Goodnight.”
Joey barked at Harry and Harry narrowed his eyes at him.
“We can’t stay,” he told him firmly. He felt his resolve waved for less than a second before reminding himself that his actual family needed his help.
Sirius was the one person that Harry wouldn’t abandon. Sirius never abandoned Harry, and Harry wouldn’t do it to him. Harry had been useless and worthless for too long, he wouldn’t be selfish and take the cowards way out this time.
Harry shucked his jeans off and climbed in bed with Joey, putting him on the pillow beside his own. “As soon as that paperwork is ready, we’re out of here.”
Joey whined and Harry smiled faintly.
“You’ll like Sirius,” he told him softly as he reached out to pet him until he settled down on the pillow. “He’ll chase you around and it’ll be brilliant, okay?”
Harry watched Joey close his eyes and waited until he seemed to have fallen asleep before he flicked on the rock lamp, rolled onto his back, and stared up at the ceiling.
“It’ll be brilliant,” he whispered to himself. “You can’t stay.”
Just before Harry slipped off into a, surprisingly, peaceful slumber, he wondered if Sirius would like video games or not.
Probably not.
Harry had gotten up early the next morning by habit instead of in a panic. A nice change of pace that Harry couldn’t count on.
He took Joey outside and they sat in the backyard for a while, throwing a ball around, Harry struggling to teach the hyper puppy how to sit. By the time they went inside, the sun was already scorching and Harry realized he was starving.
“Good morning, my favorite son.”
Harry rolled his eyes at Tony, who was sitting on the kitchen counter with a white coffee mug in his hands. Tony was already dressed in a pair of dress pants and an untucked shirt, and Harry realized that he must have been outside through Tony’s ‘important meeting’.
“By your logic, I’m also your least favorite son,” Harry drawled at him. He ignored Tony’s laughter as he got out Joey’s bag of dog food and made sure he had full bowls of both food and water.
“You know they make automatic food dishes,” Tiny said brightly. “Then you wouldn’t have to feed him every time, it would just release his portion of food in the dish at the preset time.”
“I know that,” Harry said coolly, “Pepper showed them to me at the store.”
Tony waved toward a box of donuts, a breakfast Harry had began to realize was a favorite of his, and Harry snagged one of the raspberry ones before sitting at the counter and eating it slowly.
“I didn’t realize you liked slaving over that little spoiled pup all day,” Tony grinned. “I just thought automatic feeders would make your life easier.”
Harry sniffed and crinkled his nose. “Arsehole is not spoiled,” he said hotly. “And I don’t slave over him. Those dishes were over a hundred dollars each.”
“So?”
“So?” Harry gave him a blank look. “You might have missed it, as often as you leave me alone, but I’m not exactly employed right now, am I?”
“I’ll give you $5,000 right now if you tell me where you went to school,” Tony offered with a smirk.
“No.”
“$10,000?”
“No.”
“$50,000 and a second dog?
Harry narrowed his eyes at him. “And if I told you?”
“Then I’d write you a check and take you to cash it,” Tony said simply. “My money is your money, kid.”
Harry scoffed and pinched off a bit of his donut for something to do with his hands. “I don’t need your money. My parents left me money.”
“Do you need help getting access to it?” Tony asked him curiously.
Harry nearly laughed. As if Tony could access Harry’s Gringotts vault. “No,” he said, probably sounding more amused than he should.
“What did your parents do for work?”
Harry looked up, caught by surprise by a question that wasn’t about himself. Tony looked genuine, and Harry couldn’t see how it would hurt to answer questions about his parents.
“Er… my mum didn’t have a job, she’d barely been out of school when she had me. I think one of their friends told me she wanted to train with one of my teachers though. And my dad was a- a police man. Him and his best mate joined after they graduated.”
Tony’s brows show up on his forehead. “James became a cop? That’s a hell of a plot twist,” he laughed. “When I met him I swear the guy partied more than I did, and I partied a lot.”
Harry pinched at his donut some more and watched himself crumble it up as he hesitantly asked, “Will you tell me about them?”
“Excellent lovers.”
Harry sputtered and looked up with bright red cheeks. “Not that!” he cried. “Bloody hell. I don’t want to hear that. I meant- I meant what they were like when you met them!”
Tony laughed at Harry’s embarrassment, probably he said that solely to embarrass him and kicked his feet as he took a sip of his coffee and considered it.
“Tell me about Ron and Hermione and I’ll tell you about James and Lily. Deal?”
Harry narrowed his eyes. “You’d blackmail me into telling me about my dead parents?”
“Blackmail?” Tony adopted a wide eyed look of surprise that didn’t truly suit him. “It’s called a deal, kid, we’re good at them, wouldn’t you say?”
“Not particularly, no.” Harry didn’t really have much to lose. He’d already said his friends’ names, and it wasn’t really questions about Harry, so… “Fine,” he rolled his eyes. “Deal. You first.”
“Let’s see…” Tony hummed and looked out the window, his eyes unfocused. “James was a good dancer, shockingly. He had like energy you could just sense, never stood still,” Tony laughed. “He talked damn fast too, kid. And, Jesus Christ, do you know how easily he made friends? He’d just walk up to people and start talking and then suddenly they’d be the best of friends.”
So more undeniable evidence that Harry wasn’t James’ actual son.
“Lily, your mom, she was… she was snarky, but in a fun way, you know? When she got sick of dancing, she’d just sit off to the side with one of their friends and make little comments, usually making fun of James honestly. She rated everyone’s dance skills once, and they had a friend- Moon, I think? -that she told him, right to his face, he was a ‘bloody awkward dancer’.”
Harry felt a jolt of surprise at hearing ‘Moon’. “Moony, you mean?”
Tony snapped his fingers and nodded at Harry, “That’s it! Moony! You know him? Tall guy, shaggy brown hair, dresses like Steve on a cold autumn night?”
Harry laughed at the mental image of Steve wearing one of Lupin’s cardigans. “Yeah, he- er- he taught at my school in my third year.”
“Moony becoming a teacher, James becoming a cop…” Tony sighed dramatically and shook his head. “That’s like me becoming a parent, kid. I guess we all grew up.”
“Mm… but you’re not really a parent, are you?”
“I am offended.” Tony put his mug down and hopped off the counter, choosing to move over by Harry to grab a donut and a seat at the counter. “I’m totally a parent,” he said, his voice muffled around the donut, “Grandparent too,” he added as Joey began jumping at his feet. “It’s your turn now, tell me about Ron and Hermione.”
Harry scowled, but they did make a deal. “Hermione likes to read and Ron’s really funny.”
“Wow, I really feel like I know them now,” Tony deadpanned. “I should have made you go first so I could say ‘James made friends with strangers and Lily made fun of them’.”
Harry laughed, Tony had given Harry details he didn’t know before. He ran a hand through his hair as he thought about his friends. “Er… alright, so Hermione is smart, kind of bossy, and likes to learn about anything. She’s mad about exams and homework and she’s got a cat, great big fluffy orange thing, and she’s mad about him too. And Ron… well he was my first friend there and… he’s funny, easy-going, and he’s wicked good at chess. He’s patient too, not like Hermione. And… er… my other friend reckons they’re in love.”
And he missed them terribly is what he didn’t add.
“Oh my God.” Tony’s eyes were wide and Harry felt a swoop of unease in his stomach. “Kid, that’s the most you’ve ever said to me before.”
Harry immediately clamped his mouth shut and turned his face back to the donut he’d been toying with more than actually eating.
They sat in silence for a while, aside from Joey’s yips as he looked out the window and jumped on the glass, spotting birds and planes and other things he wanted to chase.
“You wanna see the flying suit you’re definitely not trying to steal?”
Harry had been washing his hands and he accidentally splashed himself with water as quickly as he spun around. “Really?”
Tony was beaming and nodding. “What’s mine is yours, kid. Congrats, you’re rich and you own a lot of scrap metal. Come on, let me show you my favorite toys.”
Harry only hesitated for a second.
“Wow,” Harry breathed. His eyes were surely as round as galleons as he looked over the flying suit Tony preferred (because he had more than one, apparently, which was mad). Harry lifted his hand and lightly touched the red and gold metal, more proof that Tony would have been a Gryffindor. “You really made this?”
“I did.” Tony sounded proud instead of arrogant. He was fiddling with a robot (‘DUM-E’, apparently) and turned to wink at Harry, “No matter how cute you are, you can’t have a flying suit until you’re sixteen, no! Wait! Seventeen.”
Harry laughed and figured it would be pointless to remind him again that he wouldn’t be there when he was seventeen. He wandered over to where Tony was and handed him the slim metal tool he’d been reaching for. “Why seventeen?”
Tony nodded gratefully for the tool and immediately began attacking the machine with it. He was focused and careful, even though it didn’t seem like it at first. “Because when you’re eighteen you’ll want to move out, so I figure seventeen is a good time to bribe you into staying forever. Hey, can you hand me that screw driver over there?”
Harry looked to where Tony gestured and furrowed his brows at the table top covered in tools. “Er… which one?”
Tony turned and looked had the grace to look momentarily sheepish. “The Phillips.”
Harry quirked a brow, “That answered nothing, you know.”
“Star head?”
“It’s like you’re speaking a different language, mate.”
Tony laughed and dropped the tool he had and wiped his hands off on a nearby oil stained rag. “You ready for the most important lesson of your life?”
Harry wasn’t, actually, but Tony taught him anyway.
They stayed down in Tony’s lab through lunch (Tony had a fridge filled with snacks they called a meal) while Tony taught Harry the difference between all the different tools and told Harry about his childhood.
“My dad didn’t have patience for tinkering, as he called it, that one’s a socket wrench… here, look…”
“Watch, here’s how you change the bits on there, different ones for different screws…”
“I invented this tool, needs a name still, but I made it when I was around your age, I showed it to my dad, proud as can be, and you know what he said?”
“What?”
“He told me to put my trash where it belonged and quit fooling around in the basement.” Tony laughed, but it didn’t sound happy, “Good old Dad.”
Harry frowned, “He didn’t like your inventions?”
“Nah.” Tony waved his hand then held up what looked like a screwdriver but had multiple prongs sticking out of it. “He worked a lot, and I was a disappointment. I never turned out the way he wanted.”
Harry bit his lip and considered that while Tony taught him how to use yet another tool he created himself. Harry’s eyes kept flicking over to the gleaming Iron Man suit that Tony wore to save the world.
Tony saved the world, and Harry fled from a war he caused. Tony saved lives and Harry killed Cedric.
Harry didn’t know how a parent could be disappointed in Tony with his intelligence and his ideas and his endless energy, but Harry knew how it felt being a disappointment.
The rest of the afternoon was surprisingly… comfortable.
They took Joey out for a short walk around the block, both wearing hats and sunglasses and generally looking ridiculous. Tony pointed out distant buildings and told Harry he’d take him to see them, give him ‘a real tourist tour of New York’.
Then Tony taught Harry how to play a different game on his Xbox, a fighting game with ‘ninjas’, and they argued about whether the pink ninja was a girl or not while they ate Chinese food that Tony had delivered for dinner.
“Look, all I’m saying is that if you saw Natasha fighting, you’d understand why I have a healthy respect for women.”
Harry laughed after he took a bite of the noodles that had little bits of carrots in them. “Pepper said you don’t respect women at all and that psycho is probably meaner than the pink ninja.”
Tony laughed too and Harry realized they had a similar laugh, which was weird to think.
“Pepper talks a lot of shit for someone secretly in love with me,” he winked. “And Natasha can be… rough… but she’s got a heart beneath all that ice somewhere.”
“If you say so,” Harry said skeptically. He grinned a little when he saw Tony slip Joey pieces of the beef he was eating. “Quit trying to make him like you, it won’t work. Arsehole only likes me.”
Tony smirked when he reached down and Joey immediately began covering his hand in little puppy kisses.
“Traitor,” Harry told Joey fondly. “After all I’ve done for you.”
“Good job, buddy, this is why Grandpa ordered you a new feeder. Also so when your daddy forgets to feed you, you won’t starve,” Tony whispered loudly to Joey. “He’s very forgetful, he’s even forgotten to glare at me for at least ten minutes now.”
On cue, Harry scowled and offered Joey a piece of his own chicken. “Tell him we’ll be gone before it arrives,” Harry told Joey sternly.
“It’ll be here in the morning.”
Harry threw his hands up in exasperation. “I can’t take all this stuff with me! Quit buying things!”
“I can’t,” Tony said seriously. “It’s an addiction, I have an online shopping addiction, kid.”
“Then get help,” Harry snapped angrily. “But don’t buy anything else for me or for Arsehole. We’re leaving soon.”
“About that…” Tony slid a plastic card across the counter to Harry, causing Harry’s stomach to flip. “This is for you.”
Harry recognized what it was…
It was an ID card.
This was it.
He was really leaving.
Harry took a deep breath and reached out with his trembling hand while he reminded himself that Sirius needed him and Tony did not.
Sirius wanted him, Tony did not.
Harry stared at the ID, his surprise at seeing his own photo on the card momentarily distracting him from the rest of the information.
“Harry James Potter-Stark, 200 Park Avenue, Manhattan, New York City…” Harry’s eyes flew from the card to Tony and his jaw dropped. He tried to ask why but no sound would come out aside from a faint nose of shock in the back of his throat.
“Listen, kid…” Tony slowly put his hands on the counter and ducked his shoulders slightly so his face was more even with Harry’s. “I met with my lawyers this morning and… your aunt, Petunia, she signed off on her legal guardianship. I submitted the DNA results, did a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo, and… and it’s done now. We’re legally a family, like we should have been years ago.”
It shouldn’t have hurt, but it still managed to sting hearing that his mum’s sister just signed him away so easily.
Harry didn’t jump to his feet in anger as much as he literally fell from his chair from shock at Tony’s nervous sounding rant. Tony quickly moved to help him up, but Harry scooted away on his back.
“Don’t touch me!” he snapped. “You lied! You- We- WE HAD A DEAL!”
“Harry, you’re a kid, I can’t let you run off to Russia with a pedophile or a terrorist.”
Harry didn’t know what that was meant to mean, so he ignored it. He grabbed the couch and pulled himself to his feet shakily while Tony stayed beside the counter with a sad look he had no right to have on his face.
“I can’t stay,” Harry said, pleading and desperate and terrified. “My friend- my friend needs me to help him. Please,” Harry flung the card in his hand at Tony, “take it back.”
Tony didn’t move for the card that fell on the floor only a few feet from him. His shoulders curved inward though and he shook his head just once. “I can’t. It’s done.”
“You don’t get it!” Harry yelled, his mind fogging over with grief as he imagined what Sirius would say. “Please, Tony, please. You have to. I- my friend isn’t going to even talk to me if you can’t fix this. Please? I swear I’ll write or whatever, but he’s all I’ve got.”
A small part of Harry’s brain tried to tell him that he sounded insane, he sounded terrified and desperate. But, as he was terrified and desperate and insane, he ignored it as easily as he ignored the tears spilling over on his numb cheeks.
“Please?”
“I can’t, kid. This is for the best. This is where you belong. Your friend will—”
“HATE ME!” Harry screamed. “HE IS ALL I HAVE AND HE WILL HATE ME!”
Harry turned on his heel and strode in his room, slamming the door with all his might behind him.
He’d rather Tony come in and beat him unconscious than have to tell Sirius what happened.
Harry paced around the room, occasionally kicking furniture as a means to vent his fury, until a little scratch on his door reminded him of his actual friend in the flat.
Harry opened the door just enough for Joey to squeeze through, then slammed it shut once more. He stuck his ear to the door, trying to listen to prepare himself if pissed off footsteps came storming his way. Harry’s heart was pounding, rushing blood through his body at an unhealthy speed, but he didn’t hear anyone regardless.
“It’s time to face the music,” Harry told Joey flatly.
If Harry was truly, legally, not James’ son… Sirius wasn’t going to give a damn about him. Sirius would feel like Harry abandoned him, and that would be that.
Harry hadn’t wanted to trade his godfather for his father Tony Stark, but the decision was taken out of his hands.
As most decisions about Harry’s life were.
Harry sunk down to the floor against the cool windowed wall and tried to slow his breathing before he called Sirius.
If it was the last time Sirius wanted to talk to him, then Harry didn’t want to spend the time sniveling and whining.
Sirius answered on the fourth ring. “Harry? Are you okay?”
“No.” Harry cleared his throat and tried to speak in something more mature than a whisper, “Not really, no.”
“Kiddo, are you crying?? What happened?”
Harry touched his face and wasn’t even properly surprised to feel the wetness beneath his fingertips.
“He’s- he just…” Harry wiped his face on his shirt, knowing it was disgusting and still not stopping himself. “Sirius, he got custody,” he said brokenly, his eyes as empty as his chest felt. “He stuck his last name on mine. How am I supposed to leave now?”
“You don’t.”
“What?” Harry pushed Joey away when he tried to nuzzle him, then felt guilty as well as miserable, so he grabbed him and cradled him in his arms while he held the phone with his shoulder. “We- we’re supposed to leave, I said I’d come back for you, I’m not abandoning you, I just… I don’t know how now. He could call the cops and he isn’t going to help us. Tell me what to do, please.”
“Harry…” Sirius huffed loudly in the phone and Harry heard a hoot in the background that made him cradle Joey that much more securely. “I don’t want you to come back, I want you to stay there. It’s safe, you’re safe, you’ve got a family, someone who loves you and can take care of you. That’s where you belong, kiddo, with him. You belong with your dad.”
Harry was truly having a difficult time hearing him over the air rushing through his ears. “You… you don’t want me?” he repeated the key phrase in that statement dully, lifeless and unanimated in this painful rejection.
“That is not what I said,” Sirius said quickly, sounding agitated now. “Harry, I do, and God knows I wish we could be there together, but I’d rather us be apart than have you here where it isn’t safe. Do you understand?”
Harry stared at the rock lamp on his nightstand and shook his head.
He didn’t understand.
“We’re a team.”
Harry never could have survived the last year without Sirius. He’d called Sirius almost every night on the enchanted mirrors since Sirius mailed him his dad‘s old one on the first day of summer after third year.
He was the one person Harry could talk to when the Dursleys made him miserable, when his classmates made him miserable, when life in general made him miserable. Harry called him the night his name came out of the goblet and Ron turned his back on him. He called him and they talked about the best options for tackling the dragon. Sirius told Harry about the prophecy. They laughed over Ron and Hermione’s antics at the ball. When Harry called him in a panic, explaining he couldn’t swim, Sirius was the one to mail him gillyweed. And when Harry told him about the maze, Sirius let Professor Lupin talk to Harry every night and discuss different spells he should learn for the task. Sirius even stayed in the Hospital Wing with Harry after the last task, telling Dumbledore that Harry needed him more than Dumbledore did and that the job he had for him would still be there when Harry was released.
Sirius was the first and only person to give a damn about Harry. He was the first and only person to put Harry above almost anything else. No matter when Harry called, Sirius answered. And now he didn’t want him.
Which was pretty par for the fucking course.
“And we’ll always be a team,” Sirius assured him, lying through his teeth. “We can talk every day, Harry, I’m not going anywhere. This is good, now Albus can’t drag you back here. You’re free, kiddo, free to have a whole life now without worrying about wars or your crazy godfather.”
Harry kept his eyes on his lamp, his hands buried in Joey’s fur, and his jaw clenched tightly to keep from crying any more.
“You wanted me to come back though, right? And- and if I said I wanted to come stay with you, you’d find a way we can do that, right? So we still can, right?”
Sirius hesitated and that was as much of an answer as Harry needed.
“This was always the plan,” Harry whispered, mostly to himself, as he realized Sirius’ game. “You sent me here knowing I’d be stuck here.”
“Not stuck, Harry, but… but do I want you to have a good life? Yes! Of course! I want you to have a parent who loves you and can protect you! I want you to be a part of a family and live a normal life! I want you to have all the things I can’t give you!”
“Well, congrats,” Harry snapped, hurt and betrayal icing his voice over. “I thought you wanted it to be us, but I can see now that it won’t be. I guess I won’t bother you again since you decided to just get rid of me. Have a great fucking life, Sirius.”
Harry hung up and flung the phone as far from himself as he could before he buried his face in his knees and screamed until his throat felt like it tore.
He should be more surprised.
He wasn’t.
Someone knocked, but Harry yelled at them too.
“Piss off!”
And, once he was certain that he’d probably just cut himself off from both his ‘godfather’ and ‘father’, just as he wanted, Harry relocated Joey to his bed so he could hold him tightly and replay Sirius’ words over and over until he cried himself to sleep and Sirius’ words melted into a collage with everyone else who didn’t want Harry.
‘Kill the spare!’
‘Not Harry!’
‘I don’t want you to come back, I want you to stay there!’
‘Avada Kedavra!’
When Harry woke up, his heart pounding and scar aching from the green light that rushed at him in his nightmares, he wished, not for the first time, that he had been the spare in the cemetery that night.