balancing act

James was excited. He couldn’t stop fidgeting, and looking at the door every couple of seconds to see if he was here yet.

“Prongs, you are acting insane,” Sirius told him. James didn’t care. It was their first day of actually recording the album, getting to properly record vocals and instruments, and James felt ready to fly out of his seat. “You saw him like three weeks ago, get a hold of yourself.”

James could not do that. “Three weeks is a long time,” James told him. Sirius would be acting ten times more insane than James is if it were Remus he was waiting for. But no, they lived together and didn’t have to spend weeks apart at a time. 

“You’re acting like he’s a celebrity,” Peter said with a snort. He was fidgeting with his drumsticks, something he did whenever they were in the studio. 

“Well, he is,” James said, because Regulus technically was a celebrity. 

The door opened and James stopped talking, he stopped thinking actually. Regulus was in sweatpants and a t-shirt, one of James’ t-shirts actually. 

“Why are you all staring at me?” he asked, and the sound of his voice snapped James out of the trance he was in. A second later he was up and pulling Regulus into his arms, not caring in the slightest that all of his best friends were watching him. “Oh,” Regulus said, stepping back a little bit with how strong James had rocked into him.

“Hi,” James said, catching a whiff of his hair. He had showered today, probably a couple of hours ago considering his hair was dry now. It was fluffy though, like he had simply hopped out of the shower and made his way here.

Regulus loosened up then, no longer stiff in James’ arms. He had grown more used to showing affection in front of people, and James tried not to push it or push him into something he didn’t want, but James needed a hug right then.

Three weeks is way too long to go without seeing him.

That’s how it has been for the past couple of months though, bigger gaps between when they find time to see each other, and less time together when they do. James hates it, but it isn’t like they aren’t trying. One time Regulus had asked James if he was mad that Regulus moved to Spain, and James didn’t understand why he should be mad in the first place. He never really gave much thought to Regulus moving away from London, making him further away from James in general, he knows that Regulus didn’t make the decision to spite James or anything. They weren’t even together when Regulus moved.

“Hi,” Regulus said eventually, pulling away.

James wanted to kiss him, but he knew Regulus would hate that right now, so he didn’t. He just smiled instead, lost a little in Regulus’ whole being.

It had taken a lot less convincing than James thought it would to get Regulus to be the one to help them produce this album. All of them were in agreement that they wanted Regulus to do it, because other than already knowing him, he was also incredibly talented, which made him the perfect person for the job.

It fell on James to convince him, and when James was visiting him in Spain a couple of weeks ago, he simply asked.

“The whole album?” Regulus had said. He was making toast at the time, and faltered in spreading the butter when James asked.

“We’d really like you to, yeah.”

Regulus had taken three hours to think on it, and then he just said yes. James liked to pretend it was because he was very persuasive, but Regulus had probably wanted to do it anyway.

Sirius cleared his throat to get their attention. James rolled his eyes and turned around to give him a look. “Yes?” he asked.

“Are you two done? Can we get started?” 

Regulus sighed and walked past James, sitting down in the spinny chair that was in front of all of the controls, looking at it and getting an idea of where everything was. Most of them were the same, but sometimes different levers and things would be in a different spot. 

“What song are we starting with?” Regulus asked, and James suddenly remembered how many songs on this album were about Regulus. He would be able to tell, surely.

Sirius grinned, realizing this at the same time James did. “Yeah, Prongs? Which one should we start with?”

James has shown Regulus very tiny snippets of a few songs. He was not joking when he said he had an addiction to writing songs about him. Even the songs that technically weren’t about him were still about him.

Regulus looked to Remus for an answer as to why James was acting this way. It was like the two of them had a secret language. Remus smiled a bit. “They’re all about you,” Remus told him.

James grinned a bit guiltily. “Not all of them,” James said. “Just the ones I wrote.”

“Which is most,” Peter added.

Regulus gave James a look . “Really?” he asked. James could see the way the corners of his mouth turned up though, he liked that James wrote songs about him, James was sure of that much.

James shrugged helplessly. “You’re my muse.”

Regulus shook his head. “I’m nobody’s muse. Pick a song.”

James thought back to all of the ones they had written. They still weren’t sure which ones were going to go on the album, or in which order they were going to be, but they had a general idea of it.

“Wildflower,” James said, picking the first one he could think of. They all wrote that one, so it was less Regulus specific. 

Working with Regulus was different than James thought that it would be. He gave James zero special treatment throughout the day, and he was very focused on actually doing his job. Still, James saw the way Regulus would try and fight a smile when James said something lewd, or when James knew he had finally gotten a good recording.

Peter was doing a lot of the singing in this song, which was a bit different than what they normally did, but he had one of the higher registers, something that this song needed. James would sit and watch Regulus work when he was bored. Staring at the way his fingers would adjust things on the sound board, or the way he would remember to watch his posture and straighten his back. No matter what he was doing, he looked pretty. 

At one point, Regulus turned around and caught his eye. “Stop staring at me.”

“Is it distracting?” James asked, a smile spreading across his face. 

“Yes.”

He shrugged. “Oh well.”

Regulus then just sighed and turned back around.

James had his own little jobs, like trying to pick out a strumming pattern for this one song that Remus wrote. It was probably James’ favorite on the whole album, but they were having trouble with the bridge of the song.

“I think it should feel holy,” James said. “Like a chorus of angels in the background.” Remus frowned in thought, thinking about how that would sound. “A reprieve from the big drums and bass, you know?”

James played around with a strumming pattern, one that slowed the song down a little bit. He was trying to play quietly, not wanting to distract Regulus. Sirius was recording, and Regulus was wearing his headphones half on half off to listen to them.

“Oh,” Remus said. “That’s kinda not horrible.”

James snorted. “What a compliment, Moony.”

Remus shoved him. “Shut up. I like it.”

“Yeah?”

Peter walked back in then, carrying bags of food from the closest place that they had around here. James perked up instantly. Peter was always good at reminding them to eat whenever they were in the studio. James and Sirius would both forget, and Remus always had a little something to snack on.

“God bless,” James said.

He grabbed his food and Regulus’, knowing he probably wouldn’t eat unless James put the food directly in front of him.

“Take a break,” James told him. They’d all been at it for almost eight hours, and they needed to eat. Regulus lifted off the headphones, giving in easily and turning in his chair so he could face James. “Do we sound good?” James asked.

Regulus smiled, taking a sip of James’ drink- it was a Dr. Pepper. “Not horrible,” he teased.

“Were you eavesdropping?” James accused.

Regulus only shrugged, eating some of his fries. “You talk loud.”

“We were being extra quiet,” James pointed out. 

“What was that song?” Regulus asked.

James shook his head. “No music talk.”

“You started it.”

“Just tell me something else.” Regulus’ eyes lit up for a moment, something very clearly coming to mind. “What?” James asked, eager for anything. Have they been together literally all day? Yes. But have they really been able to talk about anything? No, not really.

“Marlene texted me today,” he said.

“Oh?”

“That song is coming out soon.”

James remembered immediately. It was months and months ago at this point, but Regulus and Marlene recorded a song together. Regulus’ name was staying off the track, he didn’t want to have to talk about singing, saying it was a one time thing. He was an anonymous feature, and he told Marlene to not have him on any official credits at all. 

“When?” James asked, still yet to hear it. He had begged Marlene, but she told him that he would have to wait like everybody else. 

“Two weeks, I think. She’s putting it out as a single.”

James smiled. “We’ll have a party,” he said decisively. They would not be anywhere near done recording the album by then, so Regulus would still be in town. Plus, Marlene would want to celebrate it no matter what.

“Unnecessary.”

“Very necessary,” James corrected. “What else?”

“What else?”

“Yeah. What else is happening?” James asked.

“We call every day,” Regulus said, clearly confused.

“So?”

“Umm, Pandora and Lily moved in together,” Regulus said, clearly digging for something that James wouldn’t already know. “But you know that…”

“Not any details,” James said. He just wanted to listen to Regulus talk, it could honestly be about whatever.

“Pandora says that she and Lily have very different stylistic tastes.”

“Really?” James asked, not having expected that. 

“Lily likes warm tones, Pandora likes cooler ones I guess. All of their walls are a different color because of it.”

James smiled, because that sounds like exactly what he could have expected from the two of them. “What else?”

Regulus hesitated. “Do you remember a couple of months ago, when I visited you,” he asked. James went to Spain a lot more than Regulus came here, but that was because James insisted on it. He loved Regulus’ house, and he liked that in Spain it was just the two of them. James still had two roommates, one of which was Regulus’ brother.

“Yeah, why?”

“You… you said something.”

“Did I?” James teased.

Regulus ignored him. “About a dog.”

James froze. He had accidentally mentioned something about the two of them getting a dog together when Regulus had come to visit James on his birthday. It was a surprise trip, a birthday surprise even. And they were just talking mindlessly, James hadn’t meant to bring up anything so big just yet. 

“I want one,” Regulus said quickly before James could talk himself in circles. 

“You want a dog?” James asked. Regulus didn’t really seem like a dog person, or much of an animal person in general. When James had brought it up actually, Regulus had said nothing and then they went to bed.

“With you. I want a dog with you.”

James felt his heart stop and then drop completely out of his chest, eyes wide. Regulus was blushing a little bit, but he was able to meet James’ eyes. Progress.

“Really?” he asked, a bit breathless. Ever since Barty and Evan’s wedding, James has been longing for a dog of his own. He loves dogs.

“I- Yeah. I mean, only if you want.”

James stood up, holding his hand out. “Come with me,” he said. He just… he needed Regulus alone. Right now.

Regulus took his hand easily, waving at Sirius as they left. “I hate you guys!” Sirius yelled as they left the room.

James brought them all the way down the hallway and into one of the single bathrooms, shutting and locking the door.

“A bathroom? Classy,” Regulus said.

James took a step forward, walking Regulus back into the wall and effectively cutting off his sarcastic words. If there was one thing James knew, it was how to get Regulus to stop talking.

“You want a dog with me?” James said, one of his hands on Regulus’ hips, the other ghosting along the side of Regulus’ face, forcing him to look up at James.

Regulus swallowed. “I do.”

James kissed him, his hand cradling Regulus’ head from behind now as he finally got to do what he has been refraining himself from doing all day. His other hand snaked under Regulus’ shirt, searching for skin. Smooth, cold skin that James loved. He bit at Regulus’ bottom lip, knowing that he loved it, the sounds he made always confirming it. James loved how it made it hard for Regulus to kiss back, he would just stand there and let James do all the work, and James did. Regulus pulled him closer, and James went, giving Regulus whatever he wanted. Always.

“We’re getting a dog,” James said, pressing slow kisses into Regulus’ neck.

“Mhm,” Regulus said, a bit breathless, and more than a bit distracted.

“Our dog?” James asked, biting a little bit.

Regulus sucked in a breath. “Yes.”

“Say it.”

“Our dog. Ours,” Regulus said, knowing exactly what James wanted to hear.

Our dog.

Ours.

Together.

A commitment.

***

Every time Regulus thought that no song James wrote could be more ridiculous, he was proven wrong. 

Regulus read the lyrics again. “You were not this unaware,” Regulus said, looking up at him. They’ve been in the studio basically all day, every day for the past week, and James has still been reluctant to show Regulus the lyrics to any of these songs, so they were all surprises.

James shrugged. “I mean I was.”

“James-”

“To be fair,” James interrupted, “you did sort of avoid all of my calls and texts for a while there.”

Regulus glared at him. “You are so dramatic.”

James smiled. “Dramatic would be the songs I decided didn’t need to go on the album.”

Regulus shook his head. This song was an interlude that was basically

Are we still friends?

Can we be friends?

Over and over again. It made Regulus’ stomach twist a little bit. He hadn’t meant to make James feel so insecure about where they stood, but that was also during a time when Regulus thought that James regretted kissing him, and everything was a mess.

“I don’t like it,” he said simply.

They’ve been arguing over this song for a couple of minutes; Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all just watching James and Regulus argue, not giving their opinions.

“It’s just a song,” James said. He of all people knew it wasn’t just a song. Regulus didn’t like what it represented, he didn’t like that it was about him. And maybe he had no right to be upset about it, but he was.

“It’s more.”

“Well it was how I was feeling during that time,” James said. He was waving his hands all around, that's how Regulus knew he was getting frustrated with him. “It’s my song, my feelings.”

“About me,” Regulus pointed out. 

“You liked the other songs that were about you.”

Peter snorted. “Show him ‘Friends’.”

James’ eyes widened and now Regulus was interested. “What’s that?”

Peter shrunk a little under James’ gaze, but this wasn’t about Peter. 

“You can’t get mad at me for how you made me feel,” James said, words hitting Regulus harder than any punch could have. 

“And what about how you made me feel?” Regulus asked, tossing the notebook to the side. They’ve never really had it out, not properly.

“I have apologized,” James said, stepping closer. “Have you?”

“What do I have to apologize for?”

James threw his hands in the air. “I can’t do this right now.”

“Do what?”

James clenched his jaw. “I- being ignored isn’t fun, Regulus. Did you know that?”

“I was in love with you, prick. I thought you didn’t want me,” Regulus said, not backing down.

“Did you ever stop to think that I loved you too? I was fighting for even the smallest bit of you.”

“I couldn’t settle for being nothing to you.”

“You never were!”

Regulus stopped, and everything else seemed to stop too. James always got this look in his eyes when he was arguing with Regulus, truly arguing. Regulus only ever saw the look when it was directed at him, which was why he hated that he loved it so much. He was supposed to be angry here.

“We’re done for the day,” Regulus decided. He couldn’t work like this, and he needed to blow off some steam.

Nobody argued with him when he left the room, but James did follow him.

“Reg?”

“What?”

“I- Are we okay?” James asked. 

“I’m a bit upset with you right now,” Regulus told him.

“Yeah, me too. That isn’t what I asked.”

Regulus could see that he was truly asking, that he was worried this was going to be the end of them, one stupid argument about a song. And a part of Regulus really wanted to be mean, but he didn’t have it in him anymore. He didn’t want to hurt James.

“We’re fine. I love you, we’re still getting a dog, I’m still producing your album. But I need…”

“Space?” James asked. It felt so stupid, to need space when they already spent so much time apart. Regulus was known to blow up if he felt too confined though, and he’s been essentially stuck in this room for eighty hours at this point. He needs… space.

“Yeah,” he said, blowing out a small breath.

James nodded. “Are you coming home tonight?”

“I’ll let you know.”

“Okay.”

They both needed some space from each other. If there was one person that Regulus could always stand to be around, it was Pandora. And she was in town. He didn’t call first, he just went straight over to her new apartment and knocked.

Lily was visiting her parents, and Regulus was grateful. He liked Lily, but he honestly didn’t want her around at the moment.

“You good?” Pandora asked, opening the door wider for him.

“Fine.”

She laughed. “Liar. Wine?”

“Please.”

Wine nights used to be a tradition of theirs when they were dancing together. They were expected to break their bodies day in, day out, and they hardly had any sort of escape except for in each other. They became quite the wine connoisseurs their first year dancing together, and once every week they would buy a ton of new bottles to try.

“He just makes me feel insane,” Regulus said. He honestly has not shut up about James all night, going back and forth between hating him and wishing he could hate him. He was just so fucking good, and so frustrating. Of course James would have felt bad when Regulus ignored him, Regulus wouldn’t have lasted nearly as long as James did if the roles were reversed. So he knows that he is being hypocritical, and probably very unfair. But still. He’s upset.

“That’s love,” Pandora said.

“I hate love.”

“No, you don’t.”

“My life was easier without it.”

“Regulus, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re blowing this out of proportion.”

“I know that,” Regulus said. Because he did know that. Really, his anger had little to do with the song at all, and rather all of the things that he was too scared to say. Regulus hasn’t told James that he knows about the ring. He doesn’t know how to bring it up without it leading to a marriage talk. And what is Regulus supposed to tell him? He doesn’t even know what he wants. Does he want forever with James? Yes, obviously. Does he want to be married? Or does he want kids? Or maybe more dogs? When are they going to move in together? When is it time for the next steps? Regulus doesn’t know, and he hates not knowing.

“Really?”

“Yes. The song is good, too,” Regulus mumbled. He doesn’t like that it reflects a time where Regulus hurt James, even though he didn’t mean to, and he didn’t see it like that. It doesn’t change the fact that he still did it, that he still caused what James was feeling.

“So what is it?”

Regulus finished his glass of wine in just a couple of sips. “What if I’m not it for him?”

Pandora frowned. “What?”

“I- I mean he’s it for me, Pandora. I will never love someone the way I love him, and I’ve accepted that. But… well what if it isn’t the same for him? What if he doesn’t want forever with me?”

“Are you an idiot?”

“I’m being smart.”

“You’re being cautious.”

“Which is smart.”

“Not in tales of the heart.”

“I can’t keep going blindly.”

“Are we talking about the same James who defiled you in a bathroom because you said you could have a dog together?” Pandora asked.

Regulus shook his head. “That’s different. A dog is less permanent.”

“It’s at least a couple years long commitment.”

“Not necessarily. What if he runs the dog over to be done with me?”

Pandora started laughing, but Regulus wasn’t joking. “You’re focusing on the wrong things,” she said. She’s said this to Regulus plenty of times before. He focused on everything negative so that he could try to find something that was wrong. He was aware it was a flaw, and he’s surprised he and James have even lasted this long with the way Regulus destroys everything good that he gets.

“I know.”

“I mean how many overwhelmingly goopy and lovey songs has James written about you?”

Regulus shrugged. James refused to give him an exact number. “A lot.”

“Exactly.”

Regulus sighed, leaning back on the couch. “Would you be my best man? If I ever got married?” he asked.

“It wouldn’t be Sirius?”

Regulus shook his head. “No. He would be James’.”

“So this is a marriage between you and James?”

“I told you. Him or nobody.”

Pandora smiled. “Well obviously I would be your best man.”

“Good.”

———

Regulus had a key, but he had yet to need to actually use it. There was always somebody here whenever Regulus arrived. Still, it was late and he didn’t want to wake anybody up.

That was apparently pointless logic though. James was sitting at the kitchen table.

“Oh,” Regulus said, surprised to see him there. It was his flat though, so he really shouldn’t have been surprised. Regulus had texted James a little over an hour ago to say he would be coming back soon, but he hadn’t really expected for James to wait up. 

James turned at the sound of his voice. “You’re home.”

Regulus felt himself smile. “Whenever I’m with you, yeah,” he said. Maybe wine made him a bit sweeter than normal, but that didn’t make it any less true. James was the North Star for Regulus, guiding him back home always.

“I’m sorry,” James said instinctively, standing up from the chair. He was always apologizing first, and that was because it was usually his fault, in Regulus’ head anyway. Not this time though. 

He shook his head. “No. You don’t need to be. I- this was me.”

“I just… I didn’t think about what it would be like for you, I guess. If it were me in your position I wouldn’t want to be reminded of the things I’ve messed up on, or the way I made you feel. So I am sorry.”

Regulus felt his heart melt a little bit, because of course James would do this. He made it so difficult to apologize sometimes. “I overreacted.”

James smiled. “I mean-”

“I did. I can admit it. The song is good.”

“You think?”

“Yes.”

James smiled because he was absolutely enamored with Regulus, and Regulus felt himself smile for the same reason. 

“I think you were right.”

“What?” James asked. 

Regulus took a deep breath. He wasn’t so good at this part. “That I haven’t apologized for-”

“You don’t need to.”

“James? Shut up and let me apologize, yeah?” James made a play of zipping his mouth shut, struggling to keep it closed because of his smile. “I- ignoring you was stupid. And if you would have done that to me I would have probably gone insane. And I loved you then, so I was already quite insane.”

“And now?”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “I was getting there.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.”

“I love you more now, idiot. Impossibly, inevitably. So clearly I am still a bit insane and I’m not mad about the song, I’m just mad that I made you feel… like that. I guess. I’m sorry.”

James didn’t say anything, he just took a step forward and pressed his lips to Regulus’ cheek, just like they used to do when all of this was undefined. 

“Impossibly and inevitably, you said?” 

Regulus hummed, letting James hold him even though Regulus was the one who was trying to apologize. “I think I was always meant to love you.”

“Like destiny?”

“I don’t believe in destiny. We’re just…”

“Fated?”

Regulus felt James smile against his cheek, the two of them just swaying there. “I’ll believe in fate for you.”

It was true, too. Regulus didn’t believe in any higher power, but there had to be some force in play because Regulus could feel that he would have found James in any universe. In every universe.

***

Marlene bounded into the studio, full of energy. They were having her featured in a song, and the best day for her to come in was the day before her song with Regulus came out. It would make it much more convenient to have a little party, too. 

She went for Regulus first, giving him a small peck on top of his head. She was probably the only person in the world who could get away with that, other than James. 

“Good morning,” she said, even though it was well into the afternoon at this point. 

“You’re late,” Regulus said. Not that it entirely mattered. They had just been recording the backing track and background vocals for the past couple of hours. 

“Everyone else is just early,” she said, settling into the couch next to Peter. He was playing a game on his phone and had hardly looked up at all in the past ten minutes. 

Marlene spent a couple of minutes reading over the finished lyrics. James had sent her a rough edit of the song a couple of weeks ago to ask her if she was interested, but he’s made some edits since then. 

“This another one about Reggie then?” she asked, smiling at Regulus. 

He rolled his eyes. “They’re not all about me.”

“They are,” Peter said, contributing to conversation for the first time in a while. 

James nodded in agreement. “Yeah, they are.”

Regulus looked at James. “I despise you.”

“Mhm. I’m sure.”

“I do.”

Remus clapped his hands. “You guys have this same argument everyday.”

Regulus and James both stopped, looked at each other, and then looked at Remus. 

“I think we should talk about how you and Sirius argue about the same things every day,” Regulus said, bringing up an incredibly brilliant point. Sure, sometimes James and Regulus would go around in circles, but they had nothing compared to Sirius and Remus. 

Sirius spluttered, suddenly paying attention. “Not while we’re working.”

“That’s a lie,” Regulus said. 

“Is not.”

“Is too!”

Marlene started laughing, Peter having said something that none of them caught. 

The six of them spent the rest of the day in the studio. There were a couple more arguments, as there tend to be when they’re making music. The biggest one was about a part in the song, one that Sirius added quite last minute actually. It’s just a little part of the song where two voices are talking to each other, and none of them could decide whose voices they should feature.

“Marlene and James, right?” Peter said. They were the two main voices on the song, so Peter had a point in saying that it would make sense for the two of them to do it.

Marlene shook her head. “No, it won’t sound right.”

“Why not?” Remus asked.

“I have no chemistry with James,” she said with a shrug. Which… well that was true. Marlene was very beautiful, but they have never so much as looked at each other with anything other than friendship. “I think it should be Sirius and Remus.”

Sirius looked up, already pleading at Remus with his eyes

Remus looked ready to say no. “I don’t know about that.”

Sirius was grinning though, already trying to sway Remus. “Oh, please?”

Remus shook his head. “What about you and Marlene? There’s chemistry there,” Remus suggested. 

“That’s only because we are both undeniably sexy,” Sirius said, and James figured that was true. Those two flirted all of the time for no reason other than to have fun.  “Pretty please?”

Perhaps the only reason that Remus agreed was because it was Sirius asking him. It helped that when Sirius wrote that part he wrote it with him and Remus in mind, and James watched as the two of them went into the booth, arguing over who had which part

“How many men have you kissed?” Regulus asked, and that was when James noticed that Regulus was looking at him.

“Very few,” James said, thinking they were doing the bit.

“No, really?”

James turned his attention to Regulus, his full attention. “What?”

He shrugged. “Just answer the question.”

“Why?”

“I want to know.”

“Why?”

Regulus sighed, turning around and facing Sirius and Remus again. “Nevermind.” He put his headphones back on before James could even say anything, and he was left feeling like he had done something wrong again. 

He looked at Marlene for an answer since she had overheard all that, but she just shrugged, apparently not understanding what was going on either.

They were able to finish recording the song before it got too late, and it was still only nine p.m by the time they got out of the studio. They were all planning on going to Marlene’s house- the one she unofficially shared with Dorcas- to celebrate the song coming out at midnight.

Marlene had enough space in her car for three more people, so James sent Peter, Remus, and Sirius with her and said that he and Regulus would meet them there.

“You’re driving?” Regulus asked when James didn’t immediately give him the keys.

James grinned. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see.”

Regulus looked like he wanted to argue against it, but eventually he just sighed and followed James, getting in the passenger seat. Regulus preferred to be the one driving, James assumed it was a control thing rather than him not trusting anyone else to drive. Most of the time, James didn’t mind sitting in the passenger seat and shuffling through music, turning it up when it was a song that he knew Regulus didn’t like. He would always swat James’ hand away when he did that though.

It didn’t take long for Regulus to notice that they were not headed in the right direction. 

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” James said again, fully aware that Regulus had no patience for surprises.

Regulus snorted a laugh. “Is James Potter taking me to ‘his spot’?” Regulus asked.

James smiled, glancing at Regulus who seemed more than amused. “I am, actually.”

Regulus started properly laughing then, and he seemed to relax in the chair a little bit, loosening up a little bit and looking out the window as they drove. “I cannot believe you,” he said.

“Laugh all you want. This place is stunning.”

Regulus looked over at him, letting his head fall lazily. James could tell that Regulus was staring at him. Regulus did it a lot actually, just not usually when James was able to be so aware of it. 

“You’re stunning,” Regulus said, and James had to fight to keep his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel.

Regulus was always a bit more quiet with the way that he showed affection, which James was fine with. He liked that it was hidden in all of the little things that Regulus did, much more subtle about it than James could ever dream of being. Regulus would always buy strawberry ice cream whenever James came to visit him, leaving it in his freezer even though he hated it. Regulus would entertain James when he wanted to go swimming, and he would make them breakfast. He would send James pictures of random things he saw throughout his day, things that ‘reminded him of James’. He would make calling him a priority and actually set his work aside, or he would spend the morning in bed with him if James asked. Regulus spoke love in his actions, usually.

Sometimes though, he would surprise James, saying something that caught him completely off guard. It really was unfair, because James was driving and couldn’t kiss him for it. He always said things when he knew James couldn’t properly respond, and it always took James’ breath away.

“You’re blushing,” Regulus pointed out a moment later.

James’ smile spread. “I- I am so helplessly in love with you,” he said, letting himself look over at Regulus. He was still staring, his eyes trailing all over. It was distracting, but James would never ask him to stop.

“I know,” Regulus said a moment later, like he had just remembered that James said anything.

“Good.”

Regulus hummed. “So, how many men have you kissed?” he asked again.

“Were you just trying to butter me up?”

“No,” Regulus said, and James believed him. “Just remembered that you never answered me.”

“Interesting.”

“James-”

“I don’t know,” he said quickly.

Regulus hesitated. “What?”

“I don’t know how many.”

James could see Regulus start to smile, eyes going a bit wide. He snuck a tiny little peek, deciding it was worth it when he turned back to the road. “Slag,” Regulus said with a bit of a laugh.

“No, no,” James said, shaking his head.

“Too many to count?” Regulus asked.

“I- well yes, technically. But-”

“Oh my God,” Regulus said again. “And I thought I was the slut in this relationship.”

“You are,” James blurted out, not even thinking about it. “I- No. Not that you’re a slut. You’re not. I just- well I meant…”

Regulus sat up a little bit. “Keep going, I want to see you talk your way out of this one.”

James smiled a bit helplessly. “I love you?”

“You just called me a slut.”

“You are taking it out of context.”

“Am I?”

“And you called me a slut first,” James pointed out.

“I did not.”

James blinked. “Yes, you did.”

“No, I didn’t. Why would you even think that?”

“Are you gaslighting me?”

“Hmm? No.”

“You are!”

“I can’t believe you think that I would do that.”

“Regulus,” James said, giving him a look.

Regulus only smiled at him. “So, ballpark estimate?” James groaned, because he really had no idea. James loved to kiss people, it was something he got a simple joy from, always had. “It can’t be that many.”

“I went through a bit of a phase,” James said with a shrug.

“Over fifteen?”

James snorted. “Yeah.”

“Twenty?”

“Yes.”

“Thirty?”

James nodded. There had been a lot of people when they first started getting big. James never went past kissing with any of them, but almost anyone who he found attractive at a bar or a club he ended up kissing. “If we’re still only talking about men, then probably around thirty,” James said, even though the real number was probably a little bit higher.

“And including women?”

“Reg-”

“Over sixty?”

James pressed his lips together. When Regulus put it like that it sounded like James went around kissing everyone he has ever met. Most of them were probably just little pecks, or didn’t last longer than a minute or two. Sometimes he would kiss multiple people in a night, and that went on for about two years.

“Oh my God. My boyfriend is a common whore,” Regulus said.

“A whore?”

“A common one.”

James laughed. “If it makes you feel better-”

“It won’t,” Regulus said quickly.

“Before you there hadn’t been anybody for months.”

Regulus was still smiling, like he found this whole thing incredibly amusing. “I can’t believe I’m only one of sixty.”

“Oh, stop. You’ve kissed people.”

Regulus looked at him again. “I can name all of mine though.”

“You’ve slept with more people than I have!” James said.

“Are you slut shaming me?”

“You just called me a whore.”

“A common whore,” Regulus corrected again. 

James shook his head. “I am not going to apologize.”

“I didn’t ask you to,” Regulus said. “Plus, I at least got something out of all of it, no?”

“Hmm?”

“You are a really good kisser.”

“Am I?”

“You’re fishing.”

“So?”

Regulus leaned forward to turn up the song that was playing, it was Taylor Swift, but James was too busy thinking about Regulus to really listen to it. 

***

James’ ‘spot’ was actually nothing like Regulus expected. He was expecting some sort of cliff with a view of water, not a literal forest.

“What? You want me to go in there?” Regulus asked, stopping in his tracks and causing James to have to stop too. 

“I do it all the time.”

“Why?”

“I like it.” Regulus did not like to go to places he wasn’t sure he could get out of. The forest wasn’t overwhelmingly large or anything, but it was still new and unfamiliar. “We aren’t going that far in. You’ll still be able to see out of it.”

He couldn’t really see any reason to say no, so he followed James into a forest even though it was almost completely dark outside and there were about a million other activities Regulus would have preferred to do. 

“So what’s the story here?” Regulus asked, needing something to distract him from the possibility that James was just luring him out to the woods to brutally murder him. 

“What?”

“This is your special place, right?”

James nodded. “Yeah.”

“Okay, so what’s the story? How’d you find it?”

“I ran away from home.” 

Regulus, on instinct, started laughing. What reason could James have to run away from home? That was more Sirius’ and Regulus’ specialty.

“Wait, actually?” Regulus asked, noticing the way James was just sort of smiling at him.

“Yup.”

“I- why?”

James stopped walking, looking around for something.

“James?”

“Shh.”

Regulus waited, unsure as to what James was apparently trying to listen for. He still did not get an answer when James started walking again, taking a slight turn. He had no other choice but to follow, but he still did not like the fact that James wasn’t confident as to where they were going.

“I ran away because Sirius did,” James said, able to just restart their conversation like nothing had interrupted it.

“What?”

“When he came to live with us, he ran away after a week or something, I think.”

Regulus snorted. “Of course he did.”

“Yeah, he was still all jittery I guess. But I followed him.”

“Naturally.”

“Exactly. We ran away to the woods.”

“How long did you last?”

“Well I am a real survivor of the elements, obviously, but Sirius was hungry after two hours and neither of us had it in us to kill an animal.”

“You lasted two hours?”

“Mum and dad never found out either,” James added.

He stopped walking again, but this time it felt more final, and Regulus looked away from James to see where they were. It was a sort of field in the middle of the forest, a lake running through it, separating the two sides of the forest. That’s probably what James had been listening for, now that Regulus thinks about it, the sound of rushing water. There is a clear path where people walk, and then all around it is hundreds of flowers, purple and blue. 

He could imagine how beautiful it would be during the day, too. Sunlight would peek in through the trees that surrounded them. If Regulus would have run away here, he’s not sure he ever would have left.

“Worth it?” James asked, clearly amused with the way Regulus was taking everything in, his mouth hung open.

“Shut up,” Regulus said, bending down to touch one of the flowers to see if they were actually real. He didn’t think that they would be fake, but the colors were just so vibrant that they seemed impossible. 

“Told you it was-”

Regulus shut him up with a kiss. It was his favorite way to shut James up, actually. Regulus didn’t care how many people had kissed James Potter, because he was certain that nobody else would ever kiss him the way Regulus did, nobody would ever be able to come close to loving James as much as Regulus did.

James was smiling and laughing too much for the kissing to actually do much, so Regulus just moved onto his neck, pressing light kisses into his skin while James’ fingers pressed into Regulus’ hips.

“Do you want to go swimming?” James asked, voice a bit breathy now. Regulus really liked how he could always make James do that, like it was a real effort for him to get words out.

“In there?”

James smiled down at him. “Where else?”

“Is it safe?”

“What’s life without a little risk?”

“Safe.”

James was already taking off his clothes though, not paying Regulus any mind. “C’mon, ducky,” James said, tugging at Regulus’ shirt. He let James take it off easily, although he would not be getting in the river with such little fight.

“How deep is it?”

“You can reach. We won’t go too far. I promise.”

“Won’t it be cold?”

James had unbuckled Regulus’ jeans. “Only for a moment.” Regulus still didn’t move while James removed his clothes, trying to decide. It was warm out, and very humid. They were overdue for some rain, but the past couple of days have been uncharacteristically sunny. “Please?”

James had started walking them to the lake now, walking backwards while holding onto Regulus' hands to get him to walk forward. 

“Please?” he asked again. They were on the pier now, a small wooden structure that only went out about four or five yards in total. James was taking small steps though, it would take them a while to clear it at this pace.

Regulus sighed. He knew from the moment that James asked that he would give in, but he liked to pretend he had some strength when it came to denying James Potter. He was delusional, he knew that now.

“Yeah, okay.”

James grinned at that.

———

James knew how to make things worth Regulus’ while, to say the least. He didn’t seem all that interested in swimming, more interested in Regulus. Touching him, kissing him, talking to him. 

They didn’t go any further than Regulus was comfortable with- despite owning a pool, he was still not a very strong swimmer. James didn’t seem to mind very much at all, he didn’t seem to want to be apart from Regulus for more than a second at a time.

“You have a song coming out tonight,” James said. Regulus was still feeling a bit distracted by James’ wandering hands, the weight of them on his hips, rubbing small circles.

“Hmm?”

“With Marlene.”

“Oh.”

Regulus remembered now. He had been very intentionally trying not to think about it, so of course James would force him to think and talk about it.

“You’re nervous.”

“No,” Regulus said quickly, too quickly. Obviously he was nervous, he just didn’t know why. It wasn’t like he was associated with the song in any capacity, nobody would know that it was him. Still, he had felt unsettled all day.

“It’s okay to be.”

“I’m not nervous,” Regulus said again.

“Mhm, right.”

“I’m not,” Regulus insisted.

James nodded. “Okay, love. Whatever you say.”

Regulus only lasted about four more seconds before he deflated, giving up on pretending to be fine. “I feel like I’m going to throw up.” James failed to suppress a laugh, and Regulus failed to act annoyed with him. “You’re horrible.”

“Oh, but you love me.”

“Unfortunately,” Regulus mumbled, making James grin. They both knew Regulus was lying, there was nothing unfortunate about their love. 

“It’s normal to be nervous.”

“I hate it.”

“I know,” James said, and James would know. He was the one who did this all of the time. James had told him once that the insecurity never really goes away, it just manifests differently. He’s always nervous to put new music out, but it’s more nervous excitement for him these days. 

Regulus knows that this is the only song he will ever sing on, and therefore this is the only time he will ever have to go through this. That also means his stomach is in knots and the closer it gets to midnight the more he feels like he can’t breathe. So, that’s all just lovely.

“How do you cope?”

James smiled a little. “Well I used to just get really drunk,” he said. James doesn’t drink anymore, not since before New Years. He has said that he does not care if people drink around him, and he probably means it, but still, Regulus doesn’t want him to have to do it alone. Regulus will get drunk when James isn’t around. He’ll go to the bar with Barty, or he’ll have a wine night with Pandora, but if they’re all in a group setting, Regulus won’t. “Might help,” he added a moment later, probably able to tell exactly what Regulus was thinking.

“James-”

“You can drink around me, you know?”

“I know.”

“Why don’t you?”

Regulus shrugged. “I don’t know. I just- if it was me, I wouldn’t want to be alone.”

“I’m not alone.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do,” James said softly. “I wouldn’t mind if you did though. Drink around me, I mean.”

“I know,” Regulus said, because he did. He did know that, but he found that he liked it. He liked it when James and him both kept their heads while all of their friends were blasted out of their minds; he liked the little looks they would share through the night, both of them amused about something or other; he liked when they would whisper to each other in the corner, forgetting there were even people around them.

Despite what James said, Regulus did not get drunk. He thought it might have helped with the nerves leading up to the release of the song, but honestly, James helped more. He kept Regulus thoroughly distracted for the rest of the night, never really leaving his side even at Marlene’s house. He appreciated it more than he thought it would, but James was always doing things like that. He always knew what Regulus seemed to need before he himself knew.

An hour before midnight, Remus sought out Regulus.

He was on the couch with James, his head on James’ shoulder while they listened to Dorcas tell a story.

“Can I talk to you?” Remus asked. He seemed to share a look with James, communicating something that Regulus couldn’t understand.

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

“About what?” James nudged Regulus a little, getting him to lift his head. “What?”

“Trust me,” James said, a scheming smile on his face.

Regulus frowned. “And if I don’t want to?”

“Do it anyway.”

So he did. He followed Remus out of the living room, earning them an odd sort of look from Sirius. Remus didn’t say anything, he just led them to Marlene’s room and shut the door. 

Remus is one of the few people that Regulus thinks he could spend hours with and never really get tired. There isn’t any sort of expectation between them to fill silences or be anything other than exactly who they are; introverts. Even with James sometimes, Regulus will feel like he needs a couple of moments alone, but never really with Remus. 

“I want to marry Sirius,” Remus said. 

Regulus didn’t really register this at first. He sort of always viewed Remus and Sirius as a package deal, at least at first. So the idea of them getting married didn’t feel like anything surprising. 

“Okay?”

“I want your blessing.”

“My blessing?” Regulus blurted it out before he could stop himself, but honestly, what the fuck? Do people even do that anymore? Plus, it isn’t like Regulus is Sirius’ father, far from it (although to be fair, Sirius’ father is dead). So, it just doesn’t seem to add up in his head.

“Yes.”

“For what?”

“To marry Sirius.”

Regulus blinked. “Why?”

“Because I love him and want to be married.”

“No, I mean why do you want my blessing?”

Remus hesitated. “To marry Sirius...”

“Why?”

“I feel like we’re talking in circles,” Remus said, and Regulus was already drawing the conclusion that they were having two separate conversations.

“You don’t need my blessing to marry Sirius.”

“I know. I want it though.”

“Why?”

“To marry him.”

Regulus sighed, running a hand over his face. “Why does my blessing matter?”

“Because you’re his brother.”

“Wouldn’t it make more sense to ask the Potter’s?”

Remus smiled a little bit. “Effie would lecture me on how asking for a father’s blessing is a tired practice, and Monty would probably start crying. Plus, you’re his family.”

“So are they.”

“Do I have your blessing?”

“Yeah, obviously.”

“Really?”

And that is about when it hits Regulus. Because.. holy shit? Remus wants to marry Sirius. Which yeah, obviously. Regulus always knew that it was going to happen, so he never really thought about it. But Sirius would be married, properly married. 

Marriage has always meant something different for Sirius than it has for Regulus. To Sirius, it’s more of a safety thing. He likes the idea of being married because it makes it harder to leave. Sirius has abandonment issues, clearly. For Regulus, marriage used to sound like a trap; almost like a death sentence. He’s been reevaluating that recently, although that is hardly the point right now. 

“You want to marry Sirius,” Regulus said, mostly talking to himself at this point.

“Yes.”

“You know that means forever, right?”

Remus smiled a little bit. “I- I mean that’s generally the point.”

Regulus shook his head. “No, I mean forever. Like you are not allowed to leave or I will have to kill you. Forever.”

“I want to spend forever with him.”

“With Sirius.”

“Yes.”

Regulus nodded, mind still whirling a bit. “So how are you going to do it?”

“I don’t know…”

Regulus narrowed his eyes. “You don’t know?”

“Well I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.”

“How long have you been thinking about this?”

“Six months, give or take.”

“And you haven’t thought about the proposal?”

“Not in detail.”

“Oh, my God.”

“Look, don’t worry-”

“Too late. You only get one chance at a proposal. Do it properly.”

Regulus could not believe that his brother was going to be married. It wasn’t even a matter of whether or not he would say yes, because obviously he would. Sirius has only been planning his wedding with Remus since he was sixteen, so it would be pointless to worry about that part of the equation. No, what he needed to worry about was the Remus aspect of it all.

“I will,” Remus promised.

“Good.”

———

Marlene opened a bottle of champagne when the song came out, getting some on Regulus on purpose. Regulus was still pretending he despised Marlene, but even he had to admit that he was a little bit fond of her at this point. Just a little bit

When Regulus came back after his talk with Remus, James could not stop grinning. 

“You knew about this?” Regulus had asked when he came back. James nodded, quite literally unable to suppress his grin. “Of course you did,” Regulus mumbled after that, rolling his eyes and pretending he wasn’t more excited than James was.

He was excited. Sort of. Mostly confused because he couldn’t really believe it. There were a couple of years where Regulus didn’t think he would ever be a part of Sirius’s life again, and now here he was living in his flat while he helped them produce his album. Just… Well Regulus never thought about his future and imagined this as a scenario, but he doesn’t mind it. Actually, he likes that this is where he ended up, even though it took a lot to get here.

***

James was ready. He was literally born ready for this moment, and Regulus was slow to get out of bed. Agonizingly slow, as if he didn’t understand how excited James was for today. 

James did everything he could to try and speed up the process. He distracted himself by cleaning up the flat, he showered, he got ready, and he made Regulus a cup of coffee. Time was still passing so slowly, and his boyfriend still would not get out of bed.

James was just about to stick his head back in the room to see if Regulus has gotten up yet when Sirius called his name.

“Mhm?” he asked, turning around quickly.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asked. He had definitely noticed the way James would just check the room every couple of minutes and then go do another mindless task that did not really need to be done.

“Nothing.”

“Right. Well, Moony and I need to talk to you.”

“Oh?”

The only thing James could think of was that maybe Remus had finally asked Sirius to marry him, but there is no doubt in James’ mind that Sirius would have called him the moment it happened. Perhaps that’s a bit too codependent, but they’ve always been like that. Sirius called James quite literally the moment after he lost his virginity. James had hung up the phone pretty quickly for that one.

Sirius gestured for James to follow him, and they ended up in Sirius’ room. Remus was on the bed, reading a book when they walked in. 

“Right now?” Remus asked Sirius.

“Right now,” Sirius confirmed. Which… well that meant it was probably not at all what James thought it was.

“Am I in trouble?” James asked, leaning against the dresser. 

“Our lease is up at the end of June,” Sirius said, getting right to it.

James narrowed his eyes a bit, confused as to what that had to do with anything. “Okay?”

“I’m moving out.”

“You’re not,” James said instinctively. He has always lived with Sirius. When they shared a room in school, to when Sirius moved in with his family, up until now when they had their own apartment together. Sirius didn’t meet his eye, instead looking at Remus. And that was when James realized that this was real . Sirius was moving out. Sirius wasn’t going to live with James anymore. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Together?” James asked, even though he already knew. 

“We found a house,” Remus said after a moment of silence. Sirius didn’t seem like he could say anything if he wanted to. “More of a cottage actually. It’s sort of surrounded by nothing. Just some fields.”

“It’s cute,” Sirius offered.

James felt a bit frozen. For some reason he never really saw himself as living with anybody except for Sirius. In his mind it was the two of them forever. In hindsight, that wouldn’t make a lot of sense. Adults were supposed to move out on their own. Peter and Remus both had their own places, but Sirius and James had never even thought about not living together. Until now, anyway.

“That’s great,” James said. He didn’t truly mean it, not yet. 

“You’re upset,” Sirius said.

“I’m not.”

“James-”

“No, really. I’m happy for you guys,” James said, hoping he sounded believable. Of course he was happy for them. They were his best friends, and they were moving into a house together, and they were going to get married and have kids, and James was probably more excited for them than they were. It’s just… James hasn’t lived without Sirius in so long. They’ve been attached at the hip since they were eleven. 

“Really?” Sirius asked.

James nodded, swallowing past the knot in his throat. “Obviously. This is fantastic,” he said, pulling Sirius into a hug. He felt like he wanted to cry, imagining this room empty, without all of Sirius’ things. It didn’t seem right. 

“I- umm. I have to go get ready. Finish getting ready, I mean,” James said when he realized he had already gotten dressed for the day. 

“For what?”

“I’m getting a dog,” James told them, and then he excused himself from the room as quickly as he could.

The tears at least waited, all the way up until he made eye contact with Regulus, who had just slid a shirt over his head.

“What’s wrong?” Regulus asked.

James just shook his head, unable to say anything. He didn’t know why he was so upset. It wasn’t like he would never see Sirius again; it wasn’t as if he was going to vanish off the face of the Earth. They were just going to be living in different homes for the first time in almost ten years. 

Regulus coddled James despite having no idea what was going on. He just held him and let him blubber nonsense sentences. It wasn’t fair of James to be upset. This was a good thing. This was good for Sirius and Remus, and James knows that Sirius has always wanted his own house. He knows that. It’s just… James doesn’t really know how to be alone. He’s never had to be, because he’s always had Sirius. 

“Are you going to tell me who I have to kill?” Regulus asked once James had stopped crying.

“You can’t murder your own brother,” James mumbled. He felt a bit at peace, especially in Regulus’ arms. As much as he tries to deny it, Regulus can be very good at comforting people, when he wants to be anyway.

“I can and I will.”

James felt himself smile a little bit. “He’s moving out.”

“Oh?”

“With Remus. To some fucking cottage that sounds really nice and lovely and that I cannot wait to visit.”

Regulus looked amused, and maybe it was because James was making absolutely no sense. “How dare they.”

James sighed. “I’m upset for no reason.”

“Their cottage is a pretty valid reason to be upset.”

“I mean, it makes sense. Right? Like Remus is going to propose, and our lease is ending soon anyway. It makes sense,” James said. He was more trying to convince himself of it. Because it did make sense, and James being upset about it was stupid. He couldn’t live with Sirius forever, and he knew that. 

Regulus didn’t say anything, so James just kept going. 

“It’s not fair of me to be mad at him. And their cottage is going to be cute, and they’re probably going to have kids there or something. And I am happy for them. I just didn’t think it would be so soon, I guess.”

“It’s not that soon.”

James lifted his head. “Hmm?”

“Nothing. Nevermind. Umm… are you almost ready?” Regulus asked, completely doing a 180. Sometimes James couldn’t quite keep up with him. There was always so much going on in his head that he forgot to share, leaving James to scramble for clues.

“Ready?”

“We’re getting a dog. Right?”

James didn’t answer because Regulus had already left the room. James was feeling a lot better about the whole thing actually, he was at least less in denial. Plus, a dog was just the thing that was going to cheer him up.

***

Regulus didn’t knock, which he realized a bit belatedly was a mistake. He definitely should have knocked. 

He turned around. “It’s the middle of the day,” he said, seriously regretting his decisions. He was just in a rush, and he didn’t want James to walk out and find him yet. So he didn’t have a choice.

He heard some movement behind him, hoping that his brother was putting a shirt on at least. “The door was closed for a reason,” Sirius mumbled.

“I need to talk to you.”

“It can’t wait?”

“It’s about James,” Regulus said, because he knew that Sirius would drop anything and everything for James, even sex. Remus was probably annoyed, but Regulus didn’t care about him right now.

“Is he okay?”

“Fine.”

“You can turn around now,” Sirius said. 

Regulus did, slowly and carefully, and once he saw that it was safe, he shut the door. He didn’t particularly want to have this conversation right now, but he couldn’t go out and buy a dog with James until he did. He needed to talk to someone about it, and telling them both was two birds one stone.

“You guys are getting a house,” Regulus said. He could not care any less about it if he was honest. They already lived together, so having a house in the middle of nowhere didn’t feel like any sort of big step. 

“James told you?”

“Yes,” Regulus said, keeping it simple. It wasn’t his business to tell Sirius that James was so upset that he actually cried. James doesn’t cry a lot, hardly ever actually. He sheds a couple of tears at a particularly heartwarming movie, and at those animal shelter commercials, but he doesn’t really let himself feel sad for himself. James could tell Sirius later, if he wanted. “Your lease is ending?”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah. Why?”

Regulus glanced at the door, fearing that James was listening right behind it, ear pressed to the door and just eavesdropping. 

Sirius gasped, because of course he understood it right away. He’s always so annoying with that, just knowing what Regulus was thinking before he even said it.

“Do it,” Sirius said.

“I can’t-”

“Do it.”

“Do what?” Remus asked.

“He’s going to ask James to move in with him,” Sirius said. He was grinning, probably no longer upset at Regulus for interrupting.

Regulus’ stomach has been in knots. James was just talking and talking about how it ‘made sense’ for Remus and Sirius. And why wouldn’t it make sense for James and Regulus? They’ve officially been together for close to as long, and James’ lease was ending. So… so shouldn’t he just move in with Regulus? About five months ago they had had a conversation about it, about how they weren’t really ready for that.

Regulus was ready now. He hated long distance, he hated trains and planes and being miles away from James all of the time. 

“Finally,” Remus mumbled.

“Finally?”

“James hasn’t shut up about living with you.”

“What?”

Sirius was nodding. “It’s true. Everytime he comes back he’s always harping about how he wished you guys just lived together, and how much he loves your house, etc.”

Regulus did not know how to process this. In the back of his mind he already knew this information, but it was weird having it confirmed. It made the whole thing a lot more real. 

“I’m about to go buy a fucking dog with him,” Regulus mumbled, because he could not believe that this was where his life had ended up. 

“Name it after me,” Sirius said.

“I’d sooner die.”

———

“Is there a cap on how many dogs we can get?” James asked. They had gone to a local animal shelter, and they had played with just about every dog they had. James said that he felt bad choosing one because he didn’t want the other dogs to feel bad.

Regulus gave him a look. “One dog.”

James sighed, flopping onto his back and letting the dogs attack him. They were outside where almost all of the dogs were running around. The area was fenced off, which reminded Regulus that he was going to need to put in a fence. 

A couple of the dogs attacked him, licking his face. James let them, of course. Regulus was sitting next to them, petting whichever dogs came up to him. Most of them did, which wasn’t helping either of them make a decision.

“Reg, these two are brothers,” James said, sitting up. There were two dogs that wouldn’t quite leave them be. They were big dogs with fluffy dark brown fur. The people running the animal shelter didn’t know what breed they were, saying they were probably mutts of some sort. Regulus wasn’t picky about the breed, he just knew he didn’t want a tiny dog, and James agreed with that. “We can name them Padfoot and Prongs.”

“We are not naming a dog after my brother,” Regulus said, because if there was one thing he was not going to compromise on, it was that. No variations of his name, and none of his nicknames.

“I need something to remember him by when I visit Spain.”

“Actually,” Regulus said, trailing off and trying to figure out how to best word this. He had to keep reminding himself that it would be okay if James said no. They weren’t in any sort of rush, and this was just an idea because his lease was ending. Everything was fine and everything was going to be fine. 

“What?”

“Just… what would you think if you didn’t have to visit Spain anymore.”

James frowned. “Are you moving?”

“No.”

“You want to visit me more instead?”

“No.”

“I- I’m so confused.”

Regulus sighed, distracting himself and keeping his hands busy by petting one of the brothers. They didn’t have names yet, since the shelter just got them yesterday without collars. “Like instead of visiting Spain you could just… live there.”

James blinked. “Live there? Like get my own flat-”

“With me. Live with me. In my house,” Regulus interrupted, because he couldn’t watch James pretend like he had no idea what he was talking about. James always tried to not get his hopes up, and this was one of those cases where he couldn’t tell if he was actually getting what he wanted.

James was grinning, because of course he was. “You want me to live with you?”

Regulus nodded, trying to be nonchalant about it. “Yeah.”

“In your house.”

“Well, it would be our house-”

“Yes,” James said quickly. 

“Yes?”

“I’ll move in with you.”

“You want to?”

“Yes. 100%.”

Regulus nodded, pretending like he wasn’t completely elated with this. He had literal butterflies, and Regulus has never really lived with anybody before. Not since he was still in school, at least. 

“Good. Also we’re getting two dogs.”

“We are?”

“Can’t split brothers apart,” Regulus said simply. He still refused to name one of them after his own brother. That would not be happening.