Meddle About
The show could have gone worse, in James’ opinion. Sirius was actually very good at acting like everything was fine. In fact, Remus and James were more off than Sirius was. It felt very wrong to be keeping a secret from him, especially after James just dealt with the repercussions of lying to Sirius. He had good intentions this time though, and he did plan on telling Sirius very soon. As soon as the show’s over, actually.
Remus, Peter, and James all stepped off stage while Sirius sat at the piano, performing Matilda with dramatic lighting.
“The hell is going on?” Peter asked, chugging a water bottle that he found on the wings.
James looked at him in confusion. Peter was the one who initially told James about Regulus being here.
“Is that a joke?” James asked.
Peter shrugged, handing the water bottle to James. “No.”
Remus raised an eyebrow. “Regulus is here.”
“Yeah, and?”
James didn’t even know what to say, but he really wanted to laugh. Trust Peter to act perfectly casual about everything. It couldn’t even be blamed on lack of information, Peter knew everything that all of them knew, essentially. He just really didn’t care.
Remus looked up at James, a small smile on his face. “We really should be more like Peter.”
Peter, unsurprisingly, nodded in agreement. His cheeks were still bright red and his eyes were shining a little bit, but he had finally caught his breath. James had to give credit to every drummer out there, their job was not easy. James tried it once because he was convinced Peter was being dramatic. In James’ mind he was just sitting down and moving his arms, but it was so much more than that.
“Thank you, Moony. For what it’s worth, I think you’re the only one in the band who has ever had any sense,” Peter told him with a nod,
“Hey!” James said, his mouth open in shock. “What about me?”
Peter looked him up and down. “You fell in love.”
“So did he,” James said, pointing at Remus.
“Yeah, but he didn’t fall in love with Regulus.”
“That’s true,” Remus mused, amusement in his voice.
“As if Sirius and Regulus aren’t the exact same,” James said. They were scarily similar at times.
Peter sighed, patting James on the shoulder. “Prongs, mate, they’re not the same.”
James rolled his eyes. “I know they aren’t the same person, they’re just alike.”
“That’s ‘cause they’re brothers.”
“That’s my point.”
“Well, I don’t like Regulus, and I like Sirius. Sometimes.”
James frowned. “You don’t like Regulus?” James asked. He felt like he was personally attacked.
Peter shook his head. “No, he’s mean.”
“He’s not mean,” James said instinctively. He was tired of people saying that. Regulus isn’t mean, he just pretends to be. James is now on the receiving end again, so he does understand why people think it, but it simply isn’t true.
The lights on stage dimmed completely, and Sirius stepped off. James saw that there were tears in his eyes. The song was an emotional one under normal circumstances, and with the added stress of his fight with Regulus… Well James wasn’t surprised when Sirius broke down in his arms.
James cast one look at Remus and they were both thinking the same thing.
“Pads,” James said, not loosening his grip. James’ mother taught him to never be the first to let go, so until Sirius himself pulled away, they were going to stay embraced.
Sirius made a small choking noise in the back of his throat to show that he was listening. Peter was calling Lily and asking her to just play anything over the speakers for a couple of minutes. The crowd was audibly confused when nobody came back out right away, but they needed at the very least a moment.
“Regulus is here,” James told him quietly. Now Sirius pulled away, looking confused and slightly scared. His eyeliner had started smudging, making his eyes look impossibly blue.
“What do you mean?”
“He’s somewhere here. I… I think mum is with him, or she knows where he is at least,” James explained.
Sirius looked between James, Remus, and the stage, trying to figure out what he should do. James made the decision already, they had already performed for more than half of the show, almost forty five minutes now, and while it wasn’t the best to end on a sad song like Matilda, James couldn’t be bothered to care.
“We’ll cancel it,” James said.
Sirius shook his head no. “They won’t let us. Let’s just… play the last songs. It’s only four.”
“No,” Remus said, stepping in.
“We can’t stop a show again because of me.”
“Says who?”
“Management.”
James smiled. “Well it’s a good thing we’re dropping them anyway.”
Sirius sighed, wiping under his eyes to try and clear away the smudged eyeliner. “We haven’t dropped them yet.”
It was very obvious that Sirius would not be changing his mind about this, which meant James would have to come up with a compromise. “We will do one final song, and that’s it.”
“James-”
“This isn’t a debate. Just one more song and we’re done.”
“Two songs,” Sirius countered.
“One.”
“Two. Meddle About and Teeth.”
James pressed his lips together, thinking about it. He didn’t want to make Sirius be out there for any longer than he needed to be, and they could finish quickly if they just did Teeth.
“Fine,” James said, ignoring Remus’ expression. James couldn’t help but give in to Sirius, even if what he was doing was counterproductive for his mental health.
“Mary’s calling,” Peter said, walking back over to them. He hadn’t answered it yet. Mary would advise them to finish the show as planned because that was her whole job, to keep the four of them in line.
“I’ll answer,” James offered. Sirius was the best at sweet talking Mary, but James thought he was being a bit of an idiot at the moment, so it fell on his shoulders. He didn’t mind carrying a bit of extra weight though, not if it meant Sirius could feel lighter.
Mary was very calm when James answered the phone, and he felt the only course of action that would keep her calm was if he lied.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
James cleared his throat. “Song got emotional for Sirius. We’re just taking a five,” he told her.
“Okay, just checking. Get back out there, yeah?”
“Yeah, course.”
“And James?”
“Yup.”
“I’m on your side, you know?”
James felt himself smile. He loved Mary, and she loved them all the same. She was probably the only person who ever had their best interest and actually fought for what they wanted. Still though, she had a job to do, and they tried not to make it any harder on her.
“Yeah, we know,” he assured her.
Before they went back out they took a couple more minutes to get themselves back in the right mindset. Sirius bounced back quickly, or he pretended to at least. James was always in shock at how quickly he could flip a switch, even Remus seemed a bit disturbed by it.
James swung his guitar strap back around his body, getting ready to go out and play the opening chords. James was actually glad that this song was much heavier on James’ and Remus’ vocals.
They walked back out with the lights still off, but people in the front row still had a clear view of them and started screaming.
With the lights still off, James started playing the opening riff, repeating it once over to build the anticipation. Despite everything, James knew that this was what he was born to do. When he was on stage he could get lost in the music.
The crowd went wild when they realized what song it was. Meddle About was a fan favorite.
Sirius started playing over James, their two parts mingling as they played together, keeping it slow and calm while they built up to the beat drop. Peter had started drumming, just a simple rhythm while Remus strummed the same chord on his bass.
Then James took one giant step up to his microphone as the stage lights flashed on to the beat of the song, lighting them all up in a shade of red.
“Come and get it now
Come and get it now,” he sang into the mic, flicking two of his fingers in a come here motion.
“Baby show me what you doing
Come and turn around
‘Cause it’s not just a figure of speech
You got me down on my knees
It’s getting harder to breathe out,” James sang, letting his voice go a little bit breathy as he strummed his guitar.
Remus sang the next verse, eyes on Sirius almost the whole time.
James sort of wished Regulus were watching. They haven’t played this song in a long time, but Lily was able to set it up fairly quickly for them, the track already on the set list from earlier shows. Either way, James knew how he looked playing this song, and selfishly he wanted Regulus to know too.
Magically, all of his thoughts vanished as he focused on the crowd, Sirius taking the next verse and causing the loudest scream James has heard in a long time. He wasn’t joking when he called it a fan favorite.
All the music stopped for the last verse, only James’ vocals for a moment.
“Come and get it now
Come and get it now
Baby show me what you doing
Come and turn around
‘Cause it’s not just a figure of speech
You got me down on my knees
It’s getting harder to breathe out”
The music then kicked back up again at full speed.
“We only met each other just the other day
But you already got me feeling some type of way
Now if I could figure it out
I’d take you back to my house
So we could meddle about”
Despite all of James’ worries, on stage he was somebody completely different. He could turn off his brian for once and just focus on the music. James truly believes that he needs to perform to breathe, it was what kept him sane. It made everything else worth it, all of the bullshit with their management and their lack of privacy, he could deal with all of it if it meant he could perform on stage.
———
James’ mum found them after the show and she made a beeline toward Sirius, giving him a bone crushing hug. Sirius might have been able to fool the general public into thinking everything was fine, but he was never able to trick Effie. James used to wonder if she was psychic, she just always seemed to know what was wrong.
James stayed where he was though, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Regulus was here. As in somewhere very close to James.
James knew that Regulus had been planning on coming to the Chicago show, which was where they were traveling next. So, perhaps Regulus was going to be with them for the next three days. James didn’t want to get his hopes up, but that was more than enough opportunity for James to actually find a time and place to talk to Regulus. And a part of him actually liked traveling with Regulus, even if he did complain about their tour bus a lot.
So, to avoid making a fool of himself, James clamped his hands together behind his back and waited slightly impatiently while Sirius and Effie spoke. James couldn’t hear them, it wasn’t a conversation that he felt he needed to eavesdrop on.
Remus and Peter were waiting with him, and Peter had started biting down on his fingernails.
Some people didn’t seem to notice that they cut the show short, other people were upset about the missing songs that they played almost every time. Mary would find out about it soon and ask what happened, but for now they were existing in the eye of the hurricane.
Mary had warned them that if they kept making executive decisions like this then there would be consequences. On stage was the one place where management couldn’t control their every action, and they hated it. It was why Remus and Sirius were more touchy on stage than anywhere else, it wasn’t like Mulciber was going to walk onto stage and rip them apart in front of thousands of people.
But there were going to be consequences. They had well passed their three strikes.
James was glad, actually. He hoped their management would drop them because it would make everything much cheaper on their end. The issue that came with that though is that they would likely be blacklisted from everything in the music industry, essentially. Getting dropped by a talent agency had a bit of a stigma around it.
“Prongs,” Sirius said, getting his attention. He had somehow completely zoned out, thinking about what their life would be like if they had to start from the bottom all over again. James thought they could do it.
“Yeah?”
“I have to go talk to Regulus,” Sirius said, his voice dropping in volume.
James nodded. “Okay.”
Sirius’ eyes moved all across the room, avoiding James’ glance for a couple of seconds before he sighed deeply. “I- I know you want to talk to him.”
James frowned a little bit. This didn’t have anything to do with him right now, even if he did want to talk to Regulus, he knew it was going to have to wait. Regulus probably wouldn’t even look at him again if he was still mad at Sirius.
“Pads-”
“I’m not done.”
James shut his mouth. “Sorry.”
“I know you want to talk to him, okay? But I… I need to fix this first.”
“Yeah, I know,” James assured him.
“I don’t think you’re getting it.”
“Getting what?”
“It’s going to take a while.”
“Okay.”
“As in multiple days. Regulus is stubborn, James-”
“Sirius,” James interrupted, putting his hands on his shoulders. Sirius was a big fan of physical touch, and James was too. It was how he showed he cared and was listening. “I understand. I’m not in any rush.”
Sirius took a deep breath. “He hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you.”
“He does.”
“He doesn’t. He loves you, he just… he shows it differently.”
“Effie says he’s sad,” Sirius said quietly.
James blinked, eyes flicking over to his mum for a moment. She was talking to Remus and Peter, smiling about something. Peter probably made a joke, if James were to guess.
“Sad?”
Sirius nodded. “That’s what she said.”
It wasn’t that Regulus couldn’t be sad, or that James couldn’t fathom that expression on Regulus’ face, it was just so uncommon for it to be said outright. Regulus hid his sadness behind anger. When he sprained his wrist and wasn’t allowed to dance, when he lost his job, when he was outed to the world. All of those things made him sad, he just pretended they didn’t.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
James dropped his hands back to his sides, starting to usher Sirius out the door. “Everything will be fine, yeah? Just talk to him, explain a little bit.”
Sirius shook his head, stopping outside the door that they all knew Regulus was behind. This was where James was supposed to leave him, but he had to make sure that Sirius actually went inside first.
“James, I can’t.”
“What?”
“He’s right to hate me. I mean what I did…” Sirius trailed off.
Before James could even respond the door opened.
James’ first thought was that Regulus looked good, he always looked good. His second thought was that he looked exhausted.
“Unforgivable, really,” Regulus said. James realized he had just heard the entire latter part of their conversation. Talking outside the door was probably not their brightest idea.
“Reg-”
Regulus took a strap back, opening the door wider. James felt his feet start to move before he could stop them, but the look Regulus gave him was enough to remind James of where he was and what was happening.
“Not you. I don’t want to see you.”
Sirius gave James an apologetic look and he managed a thumbs up before Regulus shut the door.
***
Regulus knew he should have listened to Euphemia. She seemed to know what she was talking about. But Regulus started getting bored, waiting in the room all alone. He wanted them to just be done performing already.
So, to combat his boredom, Regulus ended up catching the last couple of songs.
This ended up being a grave mistake on his part.
Seeing Sirius walk off the stage crying was enough of a sign that Regulus should have stayed in the room. But before Regulus could properly decide to not be self destructive, James Potter came back on stage.
Regulus has seen them perform before, he knew the set list by now and he knew how James acted on stage. It was annoying if only because James knew he was hot.
This song was not one that Regulus had heard before, and he wished he wouldn’t have been so blindsided by the sight of James singing breathlessly into his microphone. Regulus knew he couldn’t see him, but he liked to imagine that James was singing to him.
Regulus had stared, completely unashamed because there was nobody around to see how helpless he was.
Or, that was at least what he thought. But of course Fleamont found Regulus just as he was drooling over his son. He couldn’t even try to fight the blush, and he coughed awkwardly as Fleamont came to stand next to him.
“Alright there?” he asked.
Regulus could only nod, still coughing and fighting the urge to look back at James.
Next time, he would be sure to listen to Euphemia and stay in the room. This was just embarrassing.
Without much other conversation, Regulus said goodbye and walked away as quickly as he could. He did not feel the need to see any more of the show and instead walked back to the room he was in earlier. He had practically forced Euphemia to go and watch the show. He did not want to be responsible for her missing her son performing on stage. Regulus never had that kind of support, not in the way James did. If Walburga ever came to watch him dance it was only so she could nitpick every little thing he did. Regulus got the feeling that Euphemia did not do that.
Regulus spent twenty minutes alone in the room, trying to calm the blush on his cheeks. It didn’t end up working very well. Everytime he tried to distract himself from thinking about James, he would think about how angry he was at Sirius instead, which did nothing to lower his blood pressure.
So, when he heard James and Sirius talking right outside of the room, Regulus was simply ready to blow.
He started to open the door without thinking twice about it, without even realizing that this was the first time he would interact with James since they kissed. It was different from seeing him on stage. His skin glowed, although that was more likely from sweat than anything else.
“He’s going to hate me,” Sirius said. “I mean what I did…”
Regulus made his appearance known then. “Unforgivable, really,” Regulus said, finishing Sirius’ sentence for him.
Sirius instantly looked apologetic, but Regulus really did not care that he was sorry. He took a step back to let Sirius into the room. Regulus was here to talk, maybe throw a punch or two if he really felt the need for it.
But then James started to take a step forward too, his mind seeming like it was on autopilot.
“Not you,” Regulus said quickly. He couldn’t handle both of them right now. “I don’t want to see you.”
Regulus didn’t look at the expression on his face before shutting the door. Somehow, Sirius became the lesser of two evils. He would rather argue with his brother for the next two hours then say more than one sentence to James.
It was backwards, but that was his whole life at the moment.
Sirius was waiting for Regulus to take the lead; a relatively smart decision on his end. He didn’t even know what to say. He was so angry. Looking at Sirius made his blood boil and it made his eyes sting with tears because he simply couldn’t believe that it was his own brother that did this. It wasn’t even Walburga, even though she had kept it from him too. But Regulus expected that.
He didn’t expect Sirius to betray him, and that was what hurt.
“Are you going to say something?” Sirius said, slightly exasperated. As if he were put off that this conversation was taking up too much of his time.
“There aren’t any words that seem fitting enough,” Regulus told him, leaning against a table in the room.
“I’m sorry.”
“You seem it.”
“Well, I am.”
“You’re sorry I found out.”
“I thought you knew.”
“Well, obviously I didn’t. I mean, what, when you found out you just didn’t check in at all?” Regulus asked. If Sirius has known since basically Orion’s time of death, then that was more than enough time for him to ask Regulus a simple ‘how are you’.
“I did!” Sirius said, defending himself immediately.
Regulus didn’t respond for a moment, genuinely just stewing over his anger. Sirius once told him that when he yelled he was just mirroring Sirius’ anger, and he did not want to give him another excuse to downplay his feelings this time. Regulus has every right to be upset.
“You quite literally did not,” Regulus told him. He would have remembered Sirius randomly calling him up in January.
“I did. And you seemed normal, so I thought you found out before me and already dealt with it.”
Regulus shook his head. “I would have told you about it,” he said coldly, pointing out the stark differences in the way they would have handled the situation. Regulus would have told Sirius, very first thing. It wouldn’t have mattered whether they were talking or not. Regulus would have called Sirius first thing after finding out Orion died had he not been right there.
“I did!” Sirius insisted.
“When?” Regulus asked, feeling his anger start to bubble over even more. Regulus was mean, but it was even worse when he was angry, he had absolutely no filter.
Sirius sighed, running a hand over his face. “When I found out. I called you.”
Regulus narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t.”
“I asked you how you were feeling about Orion. You said the same as always and to not ask stupid questions.”
Vaguely, very vaguely, he remembered it. Sirius had called him asking weird questions and Regulus was busy with a ballet at the time, so he didn’t think too much about it. He thought it was just another one of his excuses to check in on Regulus. Sirius would come up with something at least once a month to call Regulus about.
“And the will? You knew about that and didn’t say anything.”
“I didn’t want the house, and I thought you knew about it already too, seeing as you got the Spain Estate. They were supposed to call you after me.”
Regulus started tapping his fingers subconsciously, something he did when he was feeling anything and everything all at once. Sirius was frustrating the hell out of him, having an excuse prepared for everything and acting as if he hadn’t done anything wrong.
“And when you realized I found out?” Regulus asked, because really how could he explain that? He was there the moment Walburga told him; Sirius was there the first time Regulus visited the grave; he was there when Regulus had a panic attack and couldn’t cry; he was there when Regulus did actually cry. And he just lied to him through all of it.
“I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s true. You were dealing with enough already, so I decided to wait.”
“I’m not a child.”
“No, you’re not,” Sirius said. Regulus wished he would have just left it at that, but Sirius never knew when to stop talking. “But you are still my little brother.”
“I’m not little.”
“You are.”
“I’m a whole grown adult, I have a whole life outside of you and I’m more than just Sirius Black’s little brother,” Regulus said, not even sure where all of this is coming from. “I exist outside of you, believe it or not. And I don’t need you to protect me from harsh truths. I can handle myself.”
“Well I’m not used to that. To you not needing me.”
“I haven’t needed you for a long time,” Regulus said because he knew that the words would hurt, and he wanted them to hurt.
Regulus wanted Sirius to feel as bad as he did.
“Grow up.”
“Grow up?”
“Yes.”
“You grow up. You’re still acting the same as you did when you were a teenager, Sirius. How about you grow up?”
“Me? Regulus, you’ve been picking the same fights for years now. When are you going to accept that you do need me.”
“I don’t,” Regulus insisted. “The parts of my life you’re in are because I wanted you in them. Because I was doing just fine those years you weren’t around, in case you’ve forgotten.”
Sirius clenched his jaw, and Regulus knew it was partly because he was right. He did survive, when Sirius left. Perhaps all he was able to do was survive, but he managed. And he would be fine again, if he had to be.
And then there was the part of Regulus that knew that wasn;t true. He remembered falling apart when Sirius left, only on the inside because he couldn’t afford to fall part on the outside back then. He remembered how much it hurt when Sirius left. For a long time he hated Sirius for leaving, but as he got older he realized that wasn’t what it was. He hated Sirius because he didn’t need Regulus like Regulus needed him. Sirius was able to do it on his own, he never needed Regulus.
“I just didn’t want you to be hurt.”
“You don’t have to protect me,” Regulus said, the same thing he’s been saying for years now. Sirius always thinks he needs to save Regulus, to keep him away from everything bad and evil about the world. Regulus has long been exposed to cruel realities, he knows how to compartmentalize now. He’s just better than he used to be, mentally. “I’m not… I’m not broken.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re okay.”
“I didn’t say I was okay. I probably never will be, with what we went through as kids. But I’m not broken anymore. You can’t keep things from me because you think I can’t handle it.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow, clearly seeing this as a challenge. “Really?”
“What?”
“You and James.”
Regulus’ face dropped. He didn’t need to hear any more of what Sirius had to say, and he didn’t want to either. “There is no me and James,” Regulus told him. There never was and there never will be.
“You need to talk to him.”
“I don’t.” Regulus really didn’t know why Sirius even cared. They’ve never talked about Regulus’ love life before, mostly because Sirius knows better than to try and get that information out of him.
“You do. I mean, I need to first-”
“First?” Regulus interrupted.
Sirius nodded. “Yes, to get both sides of the story, obviously.”
“You don’t have my side,” Regulus pointed out.
“I’m waiting.”
Regulus could see the trap from a mile away. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“Regulus.”
“Sirius.”
He threw his hands up in frustration. “I’m not going to pick sides. But the two of you seem to be incapable of communication.”
“I am not talking about this anymore,” Regulus said. He didn’t want to talk about James. They were friends and then they kissed and so now they’re not anything. Regulus is fine with it. He knew it was a risk and he knew that James wouldn’t ordinarily go for someone like Regulus. He deserved to be with someone who sees the world as brightly as he does, and Regulus would simply never be able to do that. And that was fine.
“But you guys were both so happy-”
“What did I just say?” Regulus interrupted.
Sirius held his hands up in defense. “Okay, I won’t get involved.” Regulus didn’t believe it for a minute, but Sirius had more to say before Regulus could point it out. “And I really am sorry. I should have told you I knew that very day.”
There were very few times in Regulus’ life where he could point out the exact moment that he realized someone had changed: there was the time Walburga actually hit Sirius for the first time, and there was the time when Barty and Evan actually started looking for jobs, and when Regulus moved out on his own. And right now.
Sirius had grown up, whether Regulus wanted to admit that or not.
And maybe Regulus had too.
He didn’t even have it in him to be that mad anymore. Sirius has done worse, and Regulus understood his thought process. For years now Sirius thought that he had to protect Regulus because that was what he had to do when they were younger. And no matter how long they were away or how far apart they were, it was hard to feel free from the clutches of Walburga. So Regulus understood why Sirius did what he did. And while he didn’t like it, he could at least accept it.
He didn’t want to lose his brother again.
“Okay,” Regulus said with a nod. Sirius let out a sigh of relief. Regulus wasn’t done though. “But you’re taking the house.”
***
A part of James did feel significantly lighter after seeing Regulus. It felt like years since their kiss in Vegas; that whole night felt like a blue. It was one of the most fun nights he’s had on tour so far. Just being able to spend time with someone; a whole night full of adventures.
Plus, now he knew that Regulus was okay. It wasn’t that James was worried that Regulus wasn’t okay, but it was nice to have the confirmation. Regulus was alive and in front of him even if he wouldn’t answer any of James’ calls or messages. He had backed off almost completely by now. He didn’t want to bother him or bombard him, but James needed to talk. He didn’t like to leave things unresolved or leave questions in the air.
Regulus still thought that James regretted it. Which meant that James needed to clear the air as quickly as he could, just in case. He didn’t want to be too hopeful. He knew that Regulus was not his biggest fan, but maybe he just needed the truth.
And the truth was that James had no regrets. Well, save for running out on him with the look of a dear in headlights. He was the first to admit that it was not his finest moment.
But, James could be patient. Sirius asked him to be, and James knew that Regulus wouldn’t be open to even being friends with James again if he was still in a fight with Sirius.
“You seem happy,” Peter pointed out when James got back to the room.
“I am,” James confirmed. There was a pep to his step again.
James’ dad had a small twinkle in his eye, and he parted from Effie and Remus for a moment, coming up to James.
“Son.”
“Dad,” James said, all official like before a smile broke out onto his face. It was one of their favorite bits, but neither of them could keep a straight face long enough to keep it going. “Did you like the show?”
“You were brilliant, you always have been.”
James smiled. “Thanks, dad.”
“You know, I caught Regulus sneaking out to watch the show,” he said casually.
James’ eyes widened. He hoped Regulus would have seen it, but James assumed he was in the room the entire time. “What?” James asked, his throat suddenly feeling a bit dry.
Monty nodded. “He seemed to enjoy it.”
Before James could fire off the billion other questions he had (what song? for how long? etc), Monty went back and gave Effie a kiss on the forehead, not interrupting her chat with Remus. They got along really well, just like Effie and Sirius. James was glad that he could share his parents; the whole world deserved to feel their love, and James’ friends were his world.
Peter coughed awkwardly, bringing James’ attention back to him. “So, Regulus was watching?” he asked with a smirk.
“Tell me about Benjy,” James said. It was partly because he knew it would throw Peter off, and partly because he was absolutely dying to know.
Peter blushed. “I- There’s nothing to tell.”
“You’re lying.”
He hid his face behind his hands for a moment before looking around the room. Nobody was listening to them, and James was more than happy to gossip with Peter. He looked like he had a lot he needed to say, especially after keeping the whole thing a secret for as long as he did.
“Fine, but you cannot tell a soul,” Peter said, his voice dropping to a tone that he meant to be threatening.
James smiled and nodded. He knew for a fact he would be relaying this information to Sirius, who would relay it to Remus, who would relay it to Lily, who would relay it to Marlene, etc. Word got around fast here, and Peter knew that better than anyone. He was normally the one spreading all the gossip about people, actually.
“My lips are sealed,” James promised.
Peter gave him one last skeptical look before breaking. He let out a loud groan and dropped his head on James’ chest, hitting it twice.
“James, you don’t understand,” Peter said.
“What?”
“They’re… they’re… Fuck. I don’t even know. I think I love them,” Peter admitted.
“Love?” James asked. Peter liked to pretend he hated things like love and dating, but secretly he was a huge romantic. But he’s always had a tendency of falling head first into a relationship only to end up wounded on the other side. Once he found somebody he really liked, that was all he focused on. He doesn’t think Benjy would ever hurt Peter like that, but James doesn’t know them very well. But just the fact that Peter kept it a secret for so long made James think that it was different with Benjy. Peter used to brag about all of the dates he went on in secondary school, even if he wouldn’t supply any details.
“It’s disgusting.”
James laughed. “It’s a good thing, Pete, if that’s really how you feel.”
“They made me flowers.”
“Made?”
“Like origami fucking flowers, James,” Peter said. “And they were all different kinds. And they wrote notes on the stems and I’m going to throw up.”
James rolled his eyes fondly. “Wormtail, you realize that’s quite fucking lovely.”
Peter groaned again. “It is quite lovely.”
“Mhm.”
“They’re really lovely,” Peter said like a lovesick teenager.
“How long has this been going on?” James asked.
“The shagging or the dating?”
James’ eyes widened. “Umm, both, I guess.”
“A little over a month before tour started, I think.”
James had to give Peter credit for keeping it from them for so long. James has never been good at keeping news to himself, even if it would serve him to not open his mouth.
And then James had a brilliant idea. So long as Regulus and Sirius were on the mend, he couldn’t see any reason why they all couldn’t have a nice late dinner together. The two bands, their security, Lily Evans, and of course James’ parents. It would give James the perfect window to get to know Benjy better, or maybe embarrass Peter about his secret relationship.
“No,” Peter said before James even opened his mouth to bring up his idea.
“What?”
“I know that look. You’re scheming.”
James opened his mouth in mock shock. “I am not scheming,” he lied.
“No?”
“No. I just think we should all get dinner. Together. Everyone.”
Peter narrowed his eyes. “Is this a ploy for you to talk to Regulus.”
“No.”
Peter sighed. “I’ll go ask the band.”
James beamed at him. “Tell Benjy I say hi,” James said as Peter left the room.
It really wasn’t a plan for James to get to talk to Regulus. It would just happen to be a benefit if he happened to find the perfect opportunity to lock Regulus in a room and just talk to him. That was all James wanted to do. Talk.
***
Sirius was staring at Regulus dumbly. He didn’t answer for a very long time, and Regulus just waited patiently. He was well aware of what he was asking Sirius to do.
“You want me to accept the estate?” Sirius parroted, his face showing a bit of shock.
“Yes.”
Sirius went silent again, trying to find any trace of doubt on Regulus’ face. He wasn’t going to find any. Regulus was sure about his decision.
“Where Walburga is living?”
“Yes.”
“Are you not taking the Spain Estate?”
“I am.”
He understood what he was saying. He was basically forcing his mother out of a home. He no longer cared. She still had the flat in France. Regulus thought the further away she was from where he lived, the better.
Sirius finally seemed to get the gist, but he wasn’t as on board as Regulus thought he would be. It wasn’t like Sirius had a connection with Walburga anymore, so why would he care if she was put out of her home. Really and truly, Regulus thought this was his decision.
“I think you might need to think about this more.”
“No. I know what I want.”
“Regulus, I don’t want that house.”
“Then sell it.”
“Do you want it?”
“No.”
“So you just don’t want Walburga to have it?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
Sirius gave him a very flat look, but Regulus didn’t think he needed to explain himself. Walburga doesn’t deserve to keep the house, Sirius has the legal ability to get her out of it. It would have been much simpler if father would have left both estates to him.
There was a loud knock at the door, one that was quick and full of excitement just from the sound of it. Regulus would have been annoyed, normally, but he also had a feeling that Sirius was going to make him talk about why he was forcing Walburga out of a home, and he didn’t want to open that conversation yet.
Regulus opened the door, more than surprised to see Peter.
“Hello,” Regulus said.
“Hi! We’re getting dinner. You’re invited. Sirius too.”
Sirius came up and opened the door wider. “Dinner?” he asked.
“Good, you’re here!” Peter said, giving Sirius a hug.
“Why are we going to dinner?” Sirius asked, hugging Peter back a bit absentmindedly.
Peter sighed. “I’m dating Benjy.”
“I know.”
Peter pulled back. “You know?”
“I also knew,” Regulus said, getting both of their attention. Regulus didn’t know it was a secret with how obvious they both seemed to be.
“What? How?”
“Oh, Wormtail, when will you learn?” Sirius said a bit patronizingly.
Peter rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Are you guys coming?”
“Yes!” Regulus said quickly. Anything to get out of this room.
Peter smiled. “Eager to see James?”
Regulus’ face dropped. “I’m not going.” Sirius had already started to push him out of the room and there were a bunch of people waiting in the hallway. Of course Regulus’ eyes found James first, and of course James was already looking at him. “I’m not dressed for dinner.”
Peter saddled up next to him. “You look pretty, don’t worry.” And then he was off with a wink, going up to Benjy and whispering something.
For once though, Regulus was grateful for Marlene. She noticed Regulus quickly too and she had a look of shock on her face. “Oh my God? I thought you weren’t coming for a couple more days,” she said, moving to give him a hug before thinking better of it.
“I had to yell at Sirius,” he said, his tone a bit distracted. He was really trying not to look back at James, but it was becoming increasingly more difficult when he could feel his eyes searing into him.
Marlene smiled. “That’s dedication.”
“It’s insane,” Sirius said, adding in his commentary from next to James. Regulus didn’t turn around. He was ignoring both of them now.
They ended up having to take four cars to the restaurant. Regulus really was not dressed for the occasion, especially considering the place that Sirius chose. He rode with Barty, Evan, Gideon, and Fabian. Barty, because he was apparently deciding to be nice, sacrificed himself and sat in the middle seat, in between the twins. Regulus would have rather ripped his hair out than sit there, so he was sort of grateful. He sat in the passenger seat and Evan drove.
“So, I thought Evan was joking when he told me you were here,” Barty said, leaning forward and popping his head in between the two front seats. He would go flying out the windshield if they got in a car crash. Regulus almost wished he would.
“Not a joke.”
Barty hummed, nodding his head. “Yes, well I see that.”
“Good for you.”
“So, just out of curiosity, have you spoken to James?”
“No.”
Evan snorted, looking at Barty through the rear view mirror and giving him a look that said ‘I told you so’.
“Oh, right. Of course.” There was a small pause where Barty leaned back, giving the illusion that maybe he was done pestering Regulus. Then he leaned forward again, this time even closer, pulling against his seatbelt. “Can you?”
Regulus turned a bit to face him. “Why?”
Barty pressed his lips together guiltily. “Well, you see, he wants to gossip about the wedding-” Regulus rolled his eyes, already dismissing him. “Wait no. Hear me out. Okay, because I haven’t. I’ve been very good out of loyalty to you and I’ve been shunning him-”
“You don’t need to shun him,” Regulus said.
“Well, we do, actually,” Evan said, adding his input.
“Yeah, because that man is so fucking charismatic. I mean… It's ridiculous. He just weasels his way in-”
“Stop,” Regulus said. “Just stop talking about Potter. If you want to gossip with him, I do not care.”
“Good job. That was almost believable.”
Regulus pushed Barty’s head back. So maybe he didn’t want his friends to be friends with James. It was impossible not to be, he even managed to find his way into Regulus’ life, and he was very picky about who he decided to let close to him. Even if he didn’t want them to be friends with James, Regulus knew it had already happened anyway. James was the type of person that people felt lucky to be friends with. He was the personification of everything pure in the world, and being his friend meant that he chose you, because he could have anybody.
James Potter could have everybody and he didn’t want Regulus and that was normal.
“I was being honest,” Regulus said. “Be his friend. I don’t care.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not gonna do that until I’m the best man at your guys’ wedding.”
Regulus frowned. “I’m not getting married.”
“Well, not yet. You guys have to date first.”
“No, I mean ever.”
“Oh, really?” Barty asked.
Regulus has known this about himself for years now. He has no interest in ever getting married to anyone, and he is absolutely not going to relent on this topic. It was an archaic idea to him too, just the whole idea surrounding marriage.
“Yes, really.”
They pulled up to the parking lot almost twenty minutes later, and they all had to get out of the car and give the keys to the valet. Evan was not a cautious driver, so he got them there much quicker than everyone else.
Regulus started smoking while they waited, trying not to act too nervous. He just needed to seat himself as far away from James as possible, something that should be easy simply because of how many people they were with.
One by one the rest of the cars pulled up with everyone dressed much nicer than Regulus was. He was in pajamas at one of the highest rated restaurants in the country. He was certain his father was rolling in his grave over this, and the thought made him smile a bit. The fact that his parents would disapprove made it feel worth it.