Wills
She was holding the folder hostage practically. It was technically in plain and open view, Regulus could see it. But it was obvious she had no intentions of letting him read it yet.
Actually, it’s a bit ridiculous that it’s been this long. Orion died months ago, and any sane lawyer would have called Regulus when they read the will. Maybe Sirius too, if he was included. But Regulus had to ask about it, he had to reach out and see what his father left for him. Regulus was always his favorite, so he knew there was something.
“How have you been?” she asked, trying to make idle conversation when the waitress came back with a cup of tea for him. Walburga had ordered it and he had no plans of drinking it. She probably paid someone to poison him.
“Let me read it,” he said, ignoring her question. He debated calling his lawyer to come with him, but he thought he could do this by himself. He knew enough of the law to know his rights, and what she was doing was quite literally illegal. She never should have gotten ahold of the will without all those named present.
Walbruga sipped her tea, looking rather calm. Maybe Regulus only got something small. He really didn’t care either way. It wasn’t about getting the estate or the family business or any of his savings, it was about making sure his mother wasn’t holding on to more of him than she was allowed to be.
“In a moment. I don’t remember you being so impatient.”
“I’m busy.”
“With what? Didn’t you lose your job?” she asked. She clearly thought she had one over on him, that Regulus was now going to be as poor as she was and be forced to move back in with her. She was very wrong in that sense though.
“I got another one.”
She was caught off guard, and then she was angry. Whoever was informing her of everything going on in Regulus’ life had yet to tell her about how he branched over to the music industry. She would hate it if only because it reminded her of Sirius.
“Oh, already?”
“I don’t like wasting my time. Which is exactly what you’re doing right now.”
“What is it? Another ballet?”
Regulus knew his mother well, he knew that she was being infuriating on purpose and trying to make him angry. It wasn’t working. He refused to let her get any sort of a reaction out of him anymore.
He held his hand out for the folder. He really was busy, and he had to go home and pack before they went to Chicago. Plus he needed to set everything up so that he would have the instruments he needed and the space he needed to record the song. If she would have just sent Regulus the will like he asked her too, then they wouldn’t have needed to meet at all and he could have read it over his morning coffee.
Slowly, she handed him the orange folder. “You don’t want to update your mother on your life?” she asked in an attempt to guilt trip him.
Regulus, while he would never admit it, was channeling Sirius for this meeting. He wouldn’t give Walburga the time of day or entertain anything she said one way or another. It was proving to be more difficult for him, as he knew it would be. He was good at pretending, but on the inside he thought that maybe she really did want to hear updates on his life. He knew better, but hope was an infamously dangerous thing.
“No.”
He skimmed past the first part, not needing that information just yet, and his eyes went straight to the assets. After everything at Black Industries went under, they didn’t have very many. Both of the houses were already paid off, and they ended up keeping those. But everything else was liquidated and used to pay off Orion’s large pile of debt.
There was a couple hundred thousand left in a savings account, and Regulus now understood why Walbruga hadn’t been using that money.
Orion left it to him, as well as the Spain house.
He expected that, mostly.
What he hadn’t expected was for Sirius to receive the main estate. When they disowned Sirius, Regulus thought they had done it legally and officially, but perhaps Orion had never gone through that whole process.
Wisely, Walburga had finally gone silent, probably realizing what all of this meant for her. She was still living at the estate in London, but that legally belonged to Sirius, and it had for some time now. It explained why she kept this silent for so long, she wasn’t going to have anywhere to live.
Regulus was doing a great job at managing his facial expressions and not letting any emotion seep through, but he was freaking out a little bit. He was given the opportunity to take back everything his mother ever took from his, essentially, and he didn’t even know if he wanted to do it.
“I need to call my lawyer,” Regulus said, getting up from the table and taking the folder with him.
He had no plans to call his lawyer, and the moment he stepped outside he threw up on the sidewalk. It was sickening, all of this power that just fell into his lap. If Regulus went through with this, then she would be left with nothing. No money, no place to live, no sons, nothing. And while that was the plan all along, it was a lot harder than Regulus thought it would be to go through with it. And now there were more variables.
Well, more accurately there was one more variable. Sirius.
Regulus really had no idea how he was going to take the news that Orion wrote him into the will, even Regulus still couldn’t believe it. And to give him the estate? Either he loved his sons more than he ever showed or he just really didn’t want Walbruga to end up with anything.
He debated calling Sirius for a couple of minutes, but he knew he had to.
“I’m really not in the mood, Regulus,” Sirius answered.
“Too bad,” Regulus said. He didn’t care that much as to why Sirius was in a bad mood, it wasn’t exactly his business and he just had something to say.
“You know you’re the reason James and I are fighting?”
Regulus sighed. “Kiss and make up then, Sirius. I do not care.”
“You don’t care?” Sirius asked.
“Not particularly, no.”
“Isn’t he your boyfriend or something now?”
Regulus stopped pacing and he wished his brother could see his face right now, maybe then he would know how stupid he was being. “What?”
“You’re not dating?”
“No?”
“You don’t sound sure.”
“I literally had sex with a different man last night,” Regulus pointed out.
“Yeah. But you imagined it was James.”
“I did not.”
“Really gross, by the way.”
“Shut up.”
“I mean, the poor guy. Did you say James’ name too?”
“I wasn’t thinking about James.”
“You called me up to tell me you were thinking about another man during sex, and then proceeded to confirm that you are in fact in love with James.”
“I never said that!”
“Right. Well, still.”
Regulus, because he was mean and tired of listening to Sirius talk about James, decided to drop the information on him with little to no forewarning. “Orion wrote you into the will.”
Sirius went silent for a very long time, which was exactly what Regulus wanted, actually. Except it was the kind of silence where Regulus could tell he was stewing over something.
“What?” he asked, his voice the picture of calm.
“I met with Walburga. I have the will.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sirius asked, raising his voice. Regulus expected him to be mad, in fact he only announced it the way he did to get a reaction out of him.
“No.”
In the background of Sirius’ phone, Regulus heard some shuffling around. “Regulus is being a fucking idiot,” he said to whoever he was with.
“She kept the will from us, Sirius.”
“I already knew about the will!” Sirius yelled.
Regulus froze. “What?” Sirius froze too, everything going quiet on both ends as they both processed what Sirius had just said. Because if Sirius knew about the will… “You knew,” Regulus said, his tone flattening. Sirius already knew.
“They call next of kin when somebody dies.”
Regulus didn’t say anything. He was busy fighting the urge to chuck his phone at the wall. Orion never went through the legal process of disowning Sirius, which made Sirius his next of kin. Which meant they called him when he died, they called him about the will. He already knew about all of it and never told Regulus.
“So, you knew?”
“Reg, I… I didn’t-”
“Stop,” Regulus said, not wanting to hear his excuses. “Just fucking stop.”
“Reg. I swear I thought-”
“I do not care what you thought.”
“Reg,” Sirius said, frantic to explain himself or to apologize. Regulus thought it was far too late for that. That week where Regulus spent hours crying over his father, Sirius already knew about it. He stayed silent while Regulus mourned and he didn’t say anything when he was angry about it. That was unforgivable. “I thought you already knew.”
“You were there when I found out!”
“I realized then, but I swear, before that I thought you already knew he died-”
“Shut up. Just stop talking.”’
“Are you mad?”
Regulus felt that hanging up the phone got his message across quite well. Yes he was fucking angry. Sirius kept this from him, he had information that Regulus had a right to know and simply hadn’t told him about it.
Regulus wasn’t a child anymore. He could handle things like this. He had handled losing his job, he handled his father dying, he handled an abusive and lonely childhood. He could have handled knowing about the fucking will. He was tired of people treating him like he was fragile. He wasn’t innocent or naive, he hadn’t been for a very long time.
***
James, as much as he hated to say it, knew how to handle this situation. When Sirius chucked his phone against the wall of the tour bus, James knew they were back in familiar territory. His parents didn’t usually see Sirius like this, and he knew he wouldn’t want them to either. Remus was his savior here, hanging out with them and showing them around the venue, introducing them to people, etc.
“Pads?”
Sirius still looked like he wanted to punch something, and James knew he was a pretty good target for his anger. Although he was a bit surprised when he actually did it, Sirius’ fist connected with the side of James’ face in a split second.
It fucking hurt, the pain not registering until he saw the shock on Sirius’ own face after doing it and realizing that it was real.
James’ eyes widened as he reached up to touch the spot Sirius punched, his eye stinging a little bit. There was going to be a bruise. Not a very bad one, he didn’t think. Sirius hesitated mid way through throwing the punch which made the landing a lot softer than it would have been. Still fucking hurt though.
“What the fuck?” James asked, glad he found something for his parents to do. Sirius didn’t say anything at first; his eyes were moving everywhere: James’ eye, his own hands, the wall, James’ eye again.
“I just punched you,” Sirius said.
“Yeah, I know. I was there.”
Sirius sat back down with a sigh, his head leaning against the wall. “Prongs, I love you.”
James sat down next to him. “I’d love you more if my face didn’t hurt.”
“Sorry.”
“I deserved it.”
“Maybe.”
James rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder with a small sigh. “What happened?”
“I’m still mad at you.”
“I know. We’ll get to that in a minute,” James promised. Everything between them wasn’t just fixed because Sirius participated in catharsis, although things did already feel better, so maybe that was what he needed all along.
Still, whatever was going on now seemed bigger than James kissing Regulus.
“Regulus is mad at me.”
“Why?”
“Orion never disowned me.”
James frowned, unsure what that had to do with anything. “Okay?”
“They called me when he died. In January. And about the will, I knew about all of it.”
“What will?”
“Orion’s will. Regulus just found out.”
Oh. Yeah, that wasn’t great. Actually James would probably have been mad too, so he understood where Regulus was coming from. But he wasn’t trying to comfort Regulus right now, so he pushed all of those thoughts out of his mind.
“Once you guys talk it through it’ll be better,” James said.
“You don’t know Regulus like I do, James.”
James tried not to let that get to him. He actually thought that he knew Regulus really well by now. He would never know him how Sirius did, he knew that. They were brothers and that was something completely separate from James.
“I mean, I do know him though.”
“I get that you’re in love with him, or something, but you don’t. He’s mean.”
“He’s not mean,” James said immediately. Regulus wanted people to believe that he was mean, but James knew better than that.
“He’s mean and spiteful and stubborn. This isn’t going to get fixed just because we have a conversation.”
“I think you’re wrong.”
“I didn’t ask what you think.”
James rolled his eyes and then made a quick decision. He lifted his head off of Sirius’ shoulder and held his face in between his hands, forcing Sirius to look at him. “Sirius. I love you. You’re my best friend and I’m yours. And I know you’re mad at me and I know I should have told you about Regulus, and I’m sorry. I really am. And I’m sorry that he’s mad at you now and I know everything is horrible right now, but this needs to stop.”
“What?”
“Hit me again, if you need to. But you’re not gonna pretend like I haven't been here for you for the past thirteen years.”
“I’m not going to hit you again.”
James found himself smiling. “Thank fuck.”
“Does it hurt?”
James shrugged, letting Sirius go. “It’s more like a dull throbbing now.”
Sirius hummed. “I’m glad.” There was a pause. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was scared.”
Sirius visibly did not like this answer. “You had to know I wouldn’t have cared that it was Regulus. I mean, I still don’t care.”
“You don’t?” It wasn’t really what James meant, but he did think Sirius’ actions the past week were because he was mad that it was his brother.
“No. I mean, I guess I probably would have preferred it to be anybody else, but I’m not bothered by it. Confused, maybe.”
“Wait, so why are you mad then?”
Sirius raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know why I’m mad at you?”
“Uhh, no?”
“You thought I was mad because you made out with Regulus?”
“Well what else was I supposed to think?” James defended. It was, to him, the most logical conclusion.
“That I was mad that you kept it a secret,” Sirius said. And his tone of voice made James feel so stupid, because that was actually a much more logical conclusion. It was like he had forgotten he was dealing with Sirius for a moment. He told Sirius everything; he always had, so of course he was mad that James started keeping secrets.
And, it actually made James incredibly happy, because he knew exactly how to fix this.
“Oh, well that’s because I was scared,” James told him simply.
“Of me?”
“No,” James said quickly. Not scared of Sirius, never actually scared of Sirius.
“Then scared of what?”
“Of… well, of my feelings. I- They’re new, and, well I tried to pretend they weren’t there for a long time. So, that’s why I didn’t tell you, I guess,” James explained.
“Oh,” Sirius said. “Well, just say that next time. Instead of avoiding me, that is.”
James smiled. “Wasn’t my proudest moment.”
Sirius laughed in agreement, and it was the lightest James had felt in weeks. Plus, now that everything was out in the open between them, James could poke and prod at Sirius all he liked until he admitted to everything that was going on between him and Remus. He’d missed a lot, according to Peter.
Peter.
James sat up a little bit straighter, remembering that time he went to Peter’s room.
“Is Peter dating somebody?” James asked. He was the first to admit he’s been a bit out of it the past couple of weeks, but Peter was so secretive he probably wouldn’t have noticed under normal circumstances either.
Sirius sighed deeply. “You’ve noticed it too?”
“He was hiding somebody in his room.”
“Placing bets?”
Sirius and James shared a glance, both of them thinking the exact same thing. “Benjy,” they said at the same time. Benjy has had a thing for Peter for years now. They only told James and Sirius because they were drunk together one night, and it’s been a struggle to keep it from him.
———
Even though Sirius still wasn’t in the best mood because of whatever was happening with him and Regulus, he still put on a great show for Effie and Monty. James and Sirius did actually make up, which helps matters. Although it was a bit difficult to explain the bruised eye.
Peter’s jaw physically dropped when James and Sirius walked into the venue, trying to avoid the cameras outside and wearing giant hoodies. As soon as he lowered it though, everyone knew what happened.
“Holy shit,” Peter said.
Monty also looked like he wanted to laugh and just wasn’t sure if he was supposed to. “Violence isn’t the answer, boys.”
Remus and Effie joined them a moment later, and Remus stopped dead in his tracks, looking between James and Sirius and trying to figure out what the energy was. Clearly it was good, they both had wide smiles on their faces.
“Sirius, I thought we agreed you weren’t going to punch him,” Remus said, still in shock.
James turned to Sirius. “This was premeditated?” he asked. If he and Remus spoke about it then clearly it was.
“Actually, your murder was premeditated. This was a backup plan. You’re just too pretty to kill, Prongs,” Sirius said, tapping the side of his face lightly.
James reached to caress Sirius’ face too. “Thanks, mate.”
After soundcheck, they all went out to eat before the show. They didn’t do it normally, but they had to give James’ parents the whole treatment, and it stopped their pre-show ritual of doing shots, which James was happy about. He couldn’t lie, he was worried about addiction and how easily they were all slipping into a pattern of being drunk or high. James participated too, it helped calm the nerves in his stomach before they went on stage, but he also knew plenty of people who let it take control of their lives.
Then, Mary had called them and already heard about James’ black eye. This, unfortunately, meant that James was stuck in a makeup chair for approximately an hour before the show trying to get it covered up and as natural looking as possible.
Peter kept him company for a total of two minutes before James scared him away.
“How’s Benjy?” James had asked suggestively.
Peter then blushed a bright red all over and came up with a half ass excused so that he could leave. James had sort of expected that, actually.
Then Marlene kept him company, talking his ear off about Dorcas. James hasn’t spent much time with her, but Marlene was a fantastic judge of character. She has so far been right about every single person they’ve met, which is precisely the reason he never asked her what she thought about Regulus. Whether it was confirmation bias or Marlene was psychic, her initial instincts were never wrong.
“Oh! And I forgot to tell you,” she said, passing him the bag of chips for the third time. She kept saying she was done eating them and then proceeding to ask for more.
“Tell me what?”
Marlene opened her mouth to say something and then closed it again, looking at James a bit skeptically. “I don’t know if I should tell you.”
“What? Why not?” James asked, moving too much and causing the makeup artist to forcibly put his head back in place.
“It’s about Regulus.”
“Tell me,” James said, not even thinking about it. He was starved for any information about Regulus. He missed him, above everything else. Regulus was a good friend to James, at the least. James wanted him to be more but he was confident that the friendship was there. And Regulus was refusing to talk to him, so he’s just been playing a guessing game for the past two weeks and stalking his social media. The only one he ran by himself was twitter, and he hadn’t tweeted anything in over a month, so he really was grasping at straws.
“That was far too eager, Potter. Try again,” Marlene said, teasing him.
She had a point though. James cleared his throat. “Oh, about Regulus? Interesting. Well, I’m listening if you want to tell me about it.”
Marlene scrunched her face. “That was so unnatural.”
James threw his hands up to the best of his ability. “I don’t know what you want from me, McKinnon.”
She smiled. “He called me!”
“He did?”
Marlene nodded and the makeup artist finally finished dabbing a beauty blender on his face, announcing that he was finished and James looked pretty again.
“Thank you,” James told him as he walked away, leaving James and Marlene to finish gossiping.
Before Marlene could finish her story though, Emmeline came to find her, saying it was time to go on stage.
James tried not to pout, he really did. But he couldn’t help but make Marlene promise to tell him after the show. She did and then winked at him before going to find her guitar.
James fought the urge to call Regulus again, knowing it was the middle of the night in London and that he wouldn’t answer anyway.
***
Regulus was trying not to do something stupid.
He never went back into the tea place, just leaving his mother to wonder where he had gone.
He was trying to stop himself from getting on the next plane and going to find his brother and then murder him. That’s what he was having to restrain himself from doing.
Sirius knew. He had known all along that Orion was dead and never told Regulus. Sirius had months to work through it, and maybe there was nothing for him to work through, maybe he really did never care and didn’t think twice about Orion being dead or the call for the will. But he knew Regulus would have cared, and he kept it from him.
And Regulus was so angry, and it felt so natural. Being upset with Sirius was like breathing, something that he knew inside and out, something comfortable for him. He’s done some of his best work when he was angry with Sirius. It fueled him, almost.
Regulus went back to his flat and sent out about twenty-five different emails that he had been putting off. They were all to people that Alecto Carrow worked with regularly and that would soon be working with him instead. She was a shit music producer anyway.
Then, he changed his flight from Chicago to Los Angeles, California. It was in just a couple of hours, which meant he needed to get packed. He would get there right around when the show was supposed to start, which was not really what he wanted to do, but he didn’t have much of a choice.
Just before he left he remembered to text Dorcas and Pandora so that they wouldn’t send out a search party. He watered his plants one last time too, although most of them were already wilted by now. Which was his own fault, he was the one who spent a week in America and forgot to have somebody water them for him.
The airport went smoothly, for the most part. Although there were an unnaturally large number of people taking pictures of him. He hated it and put his hood up to cover as much of his face as he could. Normally this only happened when people mistook him for Sirius, which would of course call in all of his fans. Regulus might have been more successful financially, but more people knew Sirius’ name. Regulus liked it like that until it affected him, until he had people coming up and asking him for an autograph or a picture, thinking that he was actually his brother.
Dorcas
What? You left?
Regulus had to fight the urge to simply not respond. He didn’t want to deal with all of the questions just yet. Not until he flew to California and punched his brother in the face at least.
Regulus
Yes.
He turned off his phone. If he couldn’t see the messages then they simply were not there.
His seat had lots of room, and he closed the curtain around him so that nobody else would look at him. It was perhaps the only advantage of first class that he actually used.
———
Regulus slept for almost all of his flight. It was going to mess up his sleep schedule, but he could not muster up the energy to even care about that.
He didn’t think very far in advance and didn’t end up booking a hotel or anything so he just had the car take him straight to the venue. There was a crowd of people waiting outside, which meant they hadn't even started letting people inside yet.
The driver was very obviously trying to just drop him off and leave, but Regulus couldn’t very well get out of the car and just walk right in, not when there was a swarm of teenage girls who would look at him and think he was Sirius.
“Sorry, one moment,” he told the driver, dialing Evan’s number and putting the phone up to his ear.
Evan was usually the one who was more reliable in actually answering, and thankfully he did because the driver was glaring at him through the rear view mirror.
“Hey, mate,” Evan answered, his tone of voice portraying his confusion. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
It was the middle of the night in London, but Regulus wasn’t in London. “Evan, I’m outside.”
“Oh, stargazing then? Everything alright?”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Outside the venue.”
“In California?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t know you were coming.”
“Can you come let me in?” Regulus asked, knowing that this conversation would have gone on forever otherwise. Evan got distracted very easily, he was similar to Barty in that way, Evan was just a bit less obvious about how spaced out he always was.
“Oh, sure. I’ll be right out.”
“Thanks.”
Regulus expected him to hang up, but Evan stayed on the line while he walked. “So,” he said trying to casually lean into the question he wanted to ask.
“What?”
“Here for James?” Evan asked. Regulus saw the back door open and Evan walked out, a huge grin on his face while he looked around for Regulus. He hung up the phone, thanked the driver, and grabbed his bag as quickly as he could, hoping that none of the fans would notice him. He was mostly out of sight though, and he got away completely unscathed.
Evan was holding the door open. He was dressed head to toe in black and had an earpiece in so that he could communicate with the other security. Although, from what he heard, Barty just used it to flirt with Evan.
“I hate you,” Regulus told him, walking in.
Evan opened his mouth in shock. “After all that I just did for you?”
“Yes.”
Evan paused, listening to something in his ear and nodding along. “I have to go. Opener’s starting. You good?” Evan checked again. He would drop everything if Regulus said he wasn’t, and that was why he just nodded and managed a small smile.
“Yeah.”
“You can find your way around?”
Regulus rolled his eyes, starting to lightly push him away. “Go do your job, Rosier.”
Evan started walking away, a small spring in his step. He was always filled with so much energy. “Okay, okay. Drinks tonight?”
“No promises.”
Evan gave him a thumbs up anyway before he completely disappeared, leaving Regulus backstage all alone. He wasn’t a mind reader, he didn’t know where anything or anybody even was. But, he has gone to enough shows by now that he had a pretty good understanding for how it all worked. A couple of the doors were labeled, and when he saw the one that read The Marauders , he paused.
Sirius technically had to perform soon, and if Regulus wanted to be mean he could do this right here and right now, ruining the show for him. It would have been so easy, and he was struggling to find any reason to wait.
“Regulus?”
He froze, his hand stopping just before he was about to knock on the door.
Euphemia Potter was walking down the hallway, just as surprised to see Regulus as he was to see her.
She looked between him and the door before gesturing with her hand for Regulus to follow her.
He literally could not move. This was James’ mother, and there was no doubt in Regulus' mind that she knew absolutely everything. And he looked like a disaster, in navy blue sweatpants and a white sweatshirt that was multiple sizes too big. His hair was messy and the bags under his eyes were darker than they’ve been in a while. And he couldn’t talk to James’ mum like this, it was a horrible impression to make, and his last one wasn’t very good either. Although, to be fair to himself, Regulus was sort of processing the death of his father, so he got a bit of a pass that time.
She waited patiently. “Follow me,” she said again, more insisting.
Regulus couldn’t very well say no to her, so he followed behind, feeling like he was just caught doing something he shouldn’t by his own mother. Although Euphemia was incomparable to Walburga, and it wasn’t even fair to think of them on the same plane. Regulus didn’t know mothers could be so warm until he met her, and it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that the entire family was warm. He couldn’t be blamed for his loose resolve around them, he couldn’t even blame Sirius for leaving anymore. Regulus would have done the same thing.
“How are you?” she asked, sounding genuinely interested in Regulus’ well being.
“I’m good,” he lied.
She gave him a look. Her eyebrow was raised and her lips were turned up in a smile; Regulus was more sure than ever that she knew. Regulus didn’t know what to say to her; he didn’t know if there was anything that he could say.
Euphemia turned into a room. Regulus was relieved to see that it was empty, save for a couple of food wrappers. He set his bag down, tired of carrying it.
She sat down on the couch.
Regulus could see what she was trying to do. She wanted him to talk to her, to tell her all of his problems and what was troubling him. He was not about to do that, in fact it was the very last on a list of things he wanted to do.
She saw Sirius as a son, and James was her son. Regulus couldn’t very well curse their names to Euphemia Potter, of all people.
He shook his head. “I’m not- I don’t need…”
“What? Therapy?” she asked. Euphemia was a therapist, Regulus remembered James telling him that once and it just made everything make sense.
“Yeah.”
“This isn’t therapy. This is just two people talking.”
“You’re a therapist.”
Euphemia smiled. “Well, unless you’re paying me, I’m not working right now.”
“I don’t need to talk.”
“That’s fine. We can just sit here until the show’s over.”
Regulus frowned. “You’re not going to watch?”
“Oh, I mean I’d love to.”
Regulus could smell a guilt trip from a mile away, and he knew that was exactly what she was doing. He wasn’t going to make Euphemia miss her son’s show just because he didn’t want to talk.
He sat down, crossing his arms and not looking in her direction. “What do you want me to say?” he asked.
“That’s not how this works.”
“You aren’t missing the show because of me.”
“I’ll do whatever I like to,” she said. He clenched his jaw, trying to think of something to say that was honest but wasn’t the truth. “How are you, Regulus? Really?”
“I’m mad,” he said, because anger was easier than sadness.
“Why?”
“Because Sirius lied to me.”
“Is that why you’re here?” she asked.
Regulus sighed. “Are you about to ask me about my intentions with James? Because I really don’t want to-”
“We don’t have to talk about him,” she said, interrupting Regulus. He didn’t even mind, actually, because she wasn’t going to make him talk about James and that was really all he needed to know.
Suddenly he was just telling her everything that just happened with Walbruga and Sirius and the will, and how he had absolutely no idea what to do about any of it. Does he let Walburga keep the house, even after everything she’s done? But doesn’t making her homeless make Regulus a bad person?
“You’re not a bad person,” Euphemia told him.
“You don’t really know me.”
She smiled. “James has told me enough.”
“He’s biased,” Regulus said before he could stop himself. It was not a joke when he said he didn’t want to talk about James. He was afraid he would say something that he was not ready for anyone to know.
“He’s a good judge of character.” Regulus didn’t respond. He couldn’t tell Euphemia she was wrong; he couldn’t tell her that James was wrong about him. So he said nothing. “You just have to do what feels right,” she said, shifting the conversation back to what they were talking about initially.
It translated to every part of his life. With his mother, with Sirius, with James. And yet he still didn’t know what to do. He needed to talk to people, but he hated doing that. A part of him wished that people could just read his mind so that he wouldn’t ever have to say what he was thinking again. It would be a much easier and much less painful process.
***
“James,” Peter said, walking up to him carefully.
He looked up from his guitar. He was mostly just strumming it mindlessly, waiting for the show to start, or waiting for his mum to come back, whichever came first.
“What’s up?” he asked, taking note of the nervous look on his face. He shoved his phone in James’ face and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. He didn’t understand why Peter was showing him a picture of Regulus getting out of a car. “Is this a taunt or something?”
Peter pressed his lips together and then just sat down next to James. He readjusted his guitar so that it wouldn’t hit him. “I can’t find Moony, and that’s the only reason I’m telling you this.”
“Telling me what?”
Peter sighed. “Don’t go find him, yeah? But he’s here. That’s outside of here.”
James’ eyes widened and his eyes went to Sirius. He had tried to stay mostly sober because Effie and Monty were here, but somehow he ended up doing four shots back to back and was now trying to sober himself up by chugging water. He was only acting like this because of Regulus and their fight. Or their argument. Whatever it was, it clearly has gotten to Sirius.
“Pete, we don’t have time before the show,” James said a bit nervously. They had about fifteen minutes before they had to be on stage, and James knew that Sirius and Regulus would need hours of uninterrupted time before things were better between them.
Peter rolled his eyes. “I know. That’s why I’m telling you.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“The pictures are everywhere. Just keep him away from his phone. Yeah?”
James supposed he could do that. Sirius’ phone was sitting on the coffee table in front of him, and James quickly reached out to pocket it, just in case.
He was surprised to find that he wasn’t freaking out about Regulus being there though. He wasn’t thinking about what he was supposed to say to him because his mind was mostly focused on keeping Sirius from knowing about it. If he was here though… Well, maybe James could find just a minute to talk to him.
Their last conversation was a far cry from being productive, and somehow Regulus ended up thinking that James regretted the kiss. And if James could just tell him in person, then maybe Regulus could at least be his friend. James has come to terms with the fact that Regulus does not have any interest in him in a romantic sense, but they could be friends.
“Prongs?” Sirius said, lifting his head. He looked exhausted and he looked sad. This show was going to be a mess.
“Do we need to cancel?” James asked. He didn’t want to let anybody down, but their well-being came first and he would do it in a millisecond if Sirius needed him to. He’d do it for any of them. James now knew that the only people looking out for them were themselves.
Sirius shook his head. “I’ll be fine,” he insisted.
“Sirius-”
“I’ve been putting on a show my whole life. I’ll be fine,” Sirius insisted again. And then, as if to prove his point, he hopped off of the stool with a huge grin on his face, and then he did a bow. Sirius really was good at putting on a show, and if James hadn’t seen how Sirius was acting for the last hour then even he would have believed it.
While Sirius spent the next couple of minutes having Peter touch up his makeup, James decided to go on his phone just to torture himself.
There were a bunch of different photos of Regulus getting out of a car on Twitter, and James couldn’t stop looking at them. Regulus looked tired too, a deep exhaustion that settled over him. James thought he was beautiful, and a small part of him wished he would have put his hood down just so James could have a picture of him that wasn’t obscured in some way.
Regulus was here and James was not allowed to go find him because he would only make things worse.
But now how was he supposed to play with the knowledge that Regulus was somewhere in the venue?
James stood up, not missing the way Peter glared at him. “Where are you going, James?” he asked, the eyeliner pencil stopped right in front of Sirius.
“Calling mum,” he said. It was the truth. Despite how badly he wanted to, James knew that he also did not have enough time to speak to Regulus before the show started.
He called his mum’s number and got no answer. Before he could even worry, she sent him a text.
Mum <3
Can’t talk right now
James
why not?
Mum <3
I’m having a conversation
James
with Regulus?
He sent the message before he could even think about it. If it wasn’t Regulus, fine. But if it was… Well what could his mum possibly have to say to him? He prayed she wasn’t telling him about James’ embarrassingly large feelings for him, but he couldn’t even be sure that she wouldn’t.
Mum <3
Yes.
Does Sirius know he’s here?
James
no, we decided not to tell him yet
Mum <3
Okay, good. I have to go.
I love you!
James sent a love you text back and then shut his phone off. The hall was empty and all he could hear was the sound of people screaming, waiting for them to go on stage. Lion’s Head was done by now, so they were really just screaming in anticipation.
James took a couple of moments to just breathe. If Sirius could put on a show then so could James.
Remus finally returned from wherever he was the entire time. His face was flushed and he sounded out of breath. James didn’t like to jump to conclusions, and he was really trying not to.
“Moony?” James asked, looking at him a bit sideways.
Remus smiled, starting to move toward the door when James stopped him. “Hey, James.”
“Where were you?”
Remus froze; James had to make a decision.
“With who?”
“James-”
“I can’t believe you would cheat on him,” James said, struggling to keep his voice at a whisper.
“What?” Remus asked, taking a big step back. “I didn’t cheat on anyone.”
“What?” James said, looking Remus up and down again.
“What?”
“Were you not… Where were you?”
“Around.” James frowned. Remus was doing a horrible job of proving James wrong here, and while he is certain Remus would never cheat on Sirius, he’s still waiting to hear what was actually going on. “Umm, so Regulus is here.”
James gaped, pretending to be shocked. “Oh my God! You’re sleeping with Regulus,” he said, causing even Remus to smile.
“He is quite pretty.”
“Understatement.”
Remus hummed in agreement. “I was getting Effie to keep him away from Sirius, at least until after the show.”
James pulled Sirius’ phone out of his pocket. “Similar plans,” James said.
“I can’t believe you thought I was cheating,” Remus said.
“I didn’t! You just looked… well you looked fucked, Moony. What else was I supposed to think?”
Remus shook his head. “That I was conspiring to keep my boyfriend’s brother away from him, obviously. Come on, Prongs. Use your brain.”
James laughed. “Right, that’s my bad,” he said, a real smile on his face now. “Hey,” James said, stopping Remus from going inside the room again.
“Yes?”
“Boyfriend?” James asked, wagging his eyebrows.
Remus flushed a deep red, scratching at his forehead. “Uhh, well… I haven’t… we haven’t made it official. Yet.”
James’ smile grew, still teasing Remus. “Well get on that then, yeah Moony?”
He nodded. “Once everything with Regulus is better,” he said.
“Good, good. Now let’s go.”