Conversations
One thing that James learned very quickly was that Regulus was fast. He was off of the bus in literally five seconds and he barely had enough time to get ahold of his bearings. Regulus had just… he had just told him so much, and James knew he hadn’t meant to.
Regret had been very obvious on his face, especially when James was actually faltering for words. And of course James himself felt regret for just walking in there and yelling at him like that. James didn’t do things like that, he preferred to talk things out, and he would do it if Regulus would just stop running away from him.
James followed, but not closely enough. He walked the streets of Charleston like he knew exactly where he was going, and it made James wonder what exactly Regulus had been doing for the past couple of hours. After the show at least, when he did make it to the tour bus, it looked like he had been trying to sleep. James just assumed he had been like that all day, but he should have known better. The tour bus was likely much too suffocating to spend that many hours on.
Regulus took a sharp right and James noticed he was making a beeline for a park. Was this what he had done today?
“Can you not take a hint?” Regulus’s voice traveled back to him, and James smiled.
“No, not really,” he said, picking up the pace now. “Regulus just stop walking. Or, well you’re running at this rate, love, why are you-”
“Do not call me that,” Regulus said, whipping around and stopping so suddenly that James collided with him, their chests bumping together before they both reeled back.
“Call you what?” James asked as he searched his memory. Did he call Regulus something? He couldn’t know for sure, sometimes pet names just slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them, but most of the time people didn’t mind, they were just terms of endearment, really.
“What do you want?” Regulus asked, sounding slightly exasperated.
From up close, he looked tired. There were dark circles under his eyes, his hair was still all mussed up, and his eyes themselves were dull. James thought they were magnificent either way, dull or shining, but they still showed his exhaustion perfectly.
“To talk.”
“I don’t want to talk.”
“You kind of said a lot of stuff back there. I wouldn’t feel right if I just left that all in the air.”
“That’s exactly what I want you to do,” he said.
James never did learn how to just leave things be. His parents taught him to never go to bed angry, and it translated into most parts of his life. Regulus clearly was harboring a lot of anger, towards James yes, but also towards life in general.
“You’re upset.”
Regulus paused for a moment, and he had to blink a couple of times before responding. “I’m fine.”
“You lost your job, you’re allowed to be upset,” James told him. He didn’t even know what he’d do if they kicked him out of the band or he suddenly couldn’t perform on stage. It was what kept his heart beating.
They both became aware of the fact that they were in public when a person walked right in the middle of their conversation. It made Regulus start walking away again, but this time he didn’t go very far, just settling onto a park bench.
James took a moment, now that Regulus wasn’t trying to run away, to appreciate the park. It was a waterfront, and there was the gentle sound of crashing waves that filled the night. There weren’t very many people there, which made sense because it was getting pretty late out.
“Did you know this place was here?” James asked, taking a seat next to him. Regulus scooted as far away as he could get, and James pretended like that didn’t hurt his feelings. Was it really that bad to be around him?
“I went on a walk,” Regulus responded, not looking over at him once.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“My walk?” Regulus said, a tiny smile playing on his lips now. “Oh yeah, it was grand. Said hi to a couple of strangers, stopped for coffee-”
“Regulus,” James interrupted. He didn’t try to hide the smile on his face, not even for a second.
“I didn’t know he would want me at the show,” Regulus said quietly. “It didn’t really cross my mind.”
James wasn’t angry anymore, not really. The Black brothers were complicated, he had known that for as long as he had known Sirius, and clearly there was a lot more going on than he had originally thought.
“Yeah, well you seem to have a lot on your mind,” James said softly. There was something about the two of them in the moonlight, having a stilted conversation with awkward pauses every couple of seconds, that made James smile. He didn’t want to break the peace by speaking too loudly. They weren’t really sure how to act around each other, how to talk to each other in a way that flowed naturally.
“Some of us are capable of following more than one train of thought,” Regulus said dryly.
James laughed, relaxing a bit more into the bench and looking up at the sky. The stars weren’t really visible, they hardly ever were in big cities, but the night sky was beautiful nonetheless. It was comforting knowing that the stars were there anyway, even if he couldn’t see them.
“So, how does your wrist feel?” James asked, trying to start up a conversation.
“Broken.”
In hindsight, he should have expected Regulus to say something like that, something sarcastic and obvious.
“Is your heart broken too?” James asked jokingly.
Regulus looked at him this time, an amused sort of look on his face. “What?”
“Your heart? Is it broken?”
“Are you offering?”
James shook his head. “I would never break your heart, Regulus.”
He shrugged, turning his head to look up at the sky like James had been doing just moments ago. “I would never give you the chance to.”
James tried not to think too hard about his words. He couldn’t fathom a world where he would even want to break Regulus’s heart, just like he couldn’t imagine a world where he would be given the chance to cherish it, to hold it and keep it safe.
“Have you ever been heart-broken?”
Regulus didn’t answer him for a very long time, and if it wasn’t for the soft sound of his breathing, James would have thought that he had left. He shouldn’t have asked him that, they were still practically strangers. Nobody asked a stranger about their heartbreaks.
The silence stretched, and James grew nervous enough that he dug his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, putting one in between his teeth and searching his other pockets for a lighter. The sounds and movements caused Regulus to look over, and James noticed him staring but said nothing about it.
“Can I have one?”
James almost dropped the cigarette out of his mouth in shock, and he looked at Regulus with wide eyes. He specifically remembered Sirius telling him that Regulus didn’t do drugs or smoke. Had he been wrong? James supposed it was a possibility, this was the most time they had spent together in years, and maybe things had changed.
“Is this a test?” James asked, blowing out the smoke.
“No.”
“Do you smoke?”
Regulus shrugged and reached for the pack that was sitting on the bench in between them, grabbing one without any sort of hesitation. “Does it matter?”
James shook his head, handing over the lighter without much thought put into it. “I feel a bit like I’m robbing you of your innocence.”
As if he had done it before, Regulus put the cigarette between his lips, letting it dangle loosely. He cupped one hand around it to block the wind and flicked the lighter, sucking in as it caught before letting out a deep breath.
“Sorry to break it to you James,” Regulus said, a smile visible in the upturns of his lips, “but I lost my innocence a long time ago.”
James raised an eyebrow in mock surprise. “And here I was thinking you were a saint.”
It was almost weird, the way they just settled into an easy back and forth, smoking cigarettes on a beachfront in Charleston. They could forget about the real world for a moment, they could forget about Regulus’ broken wrist and James could forget about his friends falling too quickly into addiction and into fame.
“Where are we going next?”
James gasped dramatically. “You mean you don’t know?”
They were all very excited about their next stop, plus they got to spend a couple of days there, and James was planning to really enjoy it.
“Believe it or not, I didn’t have enough time to memorize your touring schedule.”
“You had all day,” James countered.
“I was busy all day.”
“Clearly not with anything that was important.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Are you not gonna tell me?”
“Nope,” James said, a wide smile. It was more fun to keep it a secret, especially if he didn’t know yet.
“I can literally just look it up,” Regulus said, starting to pull out his phone. James practically lunged forward to grab it, not wanting to ruin what was now going to be a surprise. He got the vague idea that Regulus did not like to be surprised with things, like going on the tour for example. But James absolutely loved surprises of all kinds. “Your criminal charges are adding up,” he said after a short fight over his phone.
James had won probably because he actually had the ability to use both of his arms, but either way he was still victorious.
“I haven’t committed any crimes,” he said.
“Kidnapping, armed robbery-”
“I’m not armed,” James interrupted.
Regulus’ gaze went down to his actual arms for a split second, and it took everything in James’ body to not flex them. When one had Regulus’ attention they had to try not to do stupid things for fear of losing it, James was learning that rather quickly too.
Sirius, Peter, and Remus were already back at the bus by the time they got back. James had really tried to avoid that since he knew Sirius would have something to say about it, and Remus would say something about them making everyone late.
All eyes turned to them the moment they stepped onto the bus. Regulus went first, not saying a word as he went to the back of the bus, shutting the door this time and leaving James to deal with them alone.
Traitor.
“James,” Sirius said, his voice a bit too casual.
He smiled. “Hey,” he said, letting the bus door shut.
“So, tell me,” Sirius said, leaning forward a little bit and clasping his hands together. Remus and Peter seemed to roll their eyes at the exact same time. “You skipped on hanging out with your best friends to do what, exactly?”
“Padfoot, I swear-”
“Are you sleeping with him?”
“No.”
“Promise?”
“I came back to the bus to ask him why he wasn’t at the show,” James told him.
Sirius crossed his arms over his chest, but James already knew that he was going to win this ‘argument’. Truthfully, they never really argued, they just talked about whatever was upsetting them and got it out of the way.
“And? Why wasn’t he there?”
“You didn’t invite him.”
His face dropped slightly, like the mask he had been wearing all night just vanished when those words came out of James’ mouth. It came right back up a second later though, and he had that stubborn and defiant look on his face again.
Really, they shouldn’t be having this conversation right there. Remus and Pete were just sort of sitting in between them, sharing awkward looks. And he was almost positive that Regulus was listening in, it was hard not to, in a space so small.
“I shouldn’t have had to,” Sirius said.
“Padfoot, come on,” Remus said, a bit exasperated.
“This doesn’t concern you, Moony,” he snapped, and it reminded James that they had been out drinking.
It was too late to just take Sirius off of the bus and have a conversation alone with him, the driver had already started moving and that meant they were on the way to the next stop. It was going to be a very long night, at last a nine hour drive, and that didn’t include any of the stops that their driver might need to make.
“Hey, don’t yell at him just because-”
“Prongs, I really don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Sirius interrupted.
“Fantastic! Go talk to your brother, then.”
Sirius got up, but rather than walk all the way back to the bus, he climbed into his bunk and shut the curtain rather dramatically. Good, he needed a nap to just sleep off the alcohol.
“He had a lot to drink,” Peter commented quietly.
James already knew that though, so he just shrugged and went to his bunk. He was tired, apparently talking to the Black brothers took a lot out of a person.
After forty minutes, he realized he could not sleep. Not at all. He was hot and uncomfortable and would have done absolutely anything for a shower at that moment. That was simply not an option, so he turned on the tiny light he had in his bunk and took out his journal. He always turned to writing when he was tired, it either ended in a great song or it made him sleepy enough to actually get some rest.
At least he was feeling inspired, with the introduction of Regulus to their dynamic. New things and new situations always brought out something .
He knew it wasn’t smart to acknowledge the butterflies he felt every time he saw him, but really James couldn’t help it.
Regulus was beautiful, and James would be a fool if he pretended not to notice it.
Of course he was aware that Regulus would probably never even look at him in the same way, so James was repressing it as much as he could. If all he got was a few sarcastic comments, he was more than fine with it.
His guitar simply would not fit in his bunk, not to mention it was on a completely different bus, so he had to resort to humming quietly. He was pretty sure that everyone else was asleep, he hadn’t heard a sound since he had gone to bed.
I feel close
Well, maybe I’m not, heaven knows
It’s a spotlight stuck on the ceiling
Why are these the things that I’m feeling
Apparently, he had been wrong. Not even five minutes after he started trying to write something, somebody was opening the curtain to his bunk.
Maybe he should have been more surprised, but he really wasn’t. They always used to do this when they were in school, just occupying each other’s space when something wasn’t right. And after their conversation earlier… well Sirius didn’t like to go to bed angry either. James’ mother had taught both of them that.
It was a tight fit, but Sirius climbed in anyway, sitting opposite of James. The bunks were tall enough for them to sit up straight, but just barely.
“Can’t sleep?” Sirius said, taking note of the atmosphere James had created.
He shrugged, not stopping him when he reached for the journal. Some of their most popular songs had been created in that thing. It was old and leather bound, a gift from his father that was starting to run out of pages.
Normally, James would have workshopped his ideas with Sirius, but they both clearly had some things they needed to say, and the song could wait.
“Did he say anything else?” Sirius asked quietly.
It took just a couple of seconds for James to catch up and realize he was asking about Regulus.
“Yes,” James said, remembering just how much Regulus had shared without meaning to. It was for that reason that he decided not to tell Sirius. It was for the best to not get in the middle of whatever they had going on. “But you should really talk to him yourself.”
He sighed, loudly and dramatically. “I knew you would say something like that.”
James smiled, the way he always did when he was reminded how well Sirius knew him and how well he knew Sirius. It was easy and comfortable and probably the most constant thing in his life.
“What can I say? I’m predictable.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly. “No, not predictable.”
“No?” He thought he was, genuinely. He was mostly the same, stagnant and never changing. He was always the one with the advice, the one saying things that Sirius needed to hear.
“No. I just know you so bloody well.”
James laughed. Can’t argue with that.
“Do you think he’s still awake?”
“I hope not,” James said before he could think better of it. Sirius raised an eyebrow, and James couldn’t very well lie to him. “He might have said something about not sleeping well.”
“Stubborn git won’t take his pain meds,” Sirius mumbled under his breath.
Even with the knowledge that his brother was probably awake, and also could very probably hear them, Sirius didn’t leave. Not for a while. They talked and apologized and made big plans for their next stop, which was going to be three days long. They would get to sleep in a hotel, take a shower, have a real meal or two.
They had just started their tour, but James already understood how other artists got tired so quickly. The hours were weird, you had hardly any time to yourself, and you were never in one place long enough to actually enjoy it.
“Get some sleep, idiot,” Sirius said, climbing out of his bunk when Prongs started lolling off. He didn’t even muster a simple ‘goodnight’ before sleep took over him.
———
When James was woken up at seven in the morning by a phone call, the first thing he felt was annoyance. He was fully prepared to decline the call and go right back to sleep. That was before he noticed that it was from his mother, and that was when the guilt sunk in.
“Shit,” he mumbled, sitting upright and trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes.
He answered the call, it was his mum, he had to. Plus he hadn’t been doing a good job at keeping them updated. Not from lack of trying, but he was busy and with the time difference it was hard to call them at a time that would work for both of them.
“Hey mum,” he said, answering the phone as chipper as he could.
“Oh, good to know you’re alive,” Effie said, a certain drip of sarcasm in her voice.
“I know,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
“You should be. You promised me a call a day. How was I supposed to know if you were even safe?”
“I’m fine, mum. Promise.”
“Yes well, I didn’t exactly know that, did I?”
“I’m sorry,” he said again. He really did feel bad, he wouldn’t be where he was if it wasn’t for her. “Things have just been really busy and chaotic.”
James spent probably the next hour talking to Effie, apologizing multiple times about neglecting to talk to her and also catching her up on everything that had happened so far. He told her about the trip to the ballet, and then he had to promise to take her to one someday since she was a little bit jealous. He told her about what it was like being on tour, trying to leave out some of the less glamorous parts.
“Sirius’ brother?” Effie asked when James mentioned Regulus.
“Umm, yeah. Him.”
“Oh? How’s that going then?”
James smiled a little, not even realizing it. “He’s a little bit…obstinate.”
Effie laughed. “Well, he’s related to Sirius, I don’t doubt it.”
He probably would have stayed on the phone longer had he not heard somebody up and walking around. He loved talking to his mum, and it brought him a certain clarity to everything going on that he didn’t even realize he needed, she just helped carry some of the stress that was weighing him down. Effie was a therapist, and she always just had a way of calming James down when he didn’t even realize he needed it.
James wrapped the blanket around his body as he slipped off of the bed, landing on the ground with a soft pat. The weather was warm, but the driver had turned the a/c on at some point overnight and it had turned things a bit icier.
He had been expecting to see Remus, since he was usually awake first, but it wasn’t him. It was Regulus, making a cup of coffee in the machine that none of them had even bothered to learn how to use yet. Except he was doing it all one handed and still possessed a grace that James couldn’t even fathom reaching.
“Stop staring,” Regulus said, not turning around and still knowing that James was there.
“I wasn’t,” James said. A blatant lie since he was still staring.
Regulus glanced back, a tiny raise of his eyebrows when he made eye contact with James. “Yeah, okay.”
“Make enough for two?” James asked.
“I made enough for five.”
“Aww, that’s so kind,” James said, smiling widely at him.
“It isn’t,” Regulus said as he found two mugs, one of which was clearly for James.
He could pretend he was mean and grumpy all the time if he wanted, but he was still making all of them coffee and caring enough to grab an extra mug for James.
“How do you take your coffee?” Regulus asked him as he made his own. His face was a bit pained, like he was already regretting asking. James paid attention first, watching as Regulus took it with one cream and two sugar, storing the information away for later.
“Three cream, seven sugar,” James responded easily, lounging against the counter next to him. Regulus paused all of his movements and just stared at James for a moment, a look of surprise and, what was probably, disgust was on his face. “What?”
“Seven sugar?”
James nodded. He didn’t think it was that many, and if he were honest he would sometimes like closer to nine or ten sugars in his coffee, but even he recognized that might have been a bit too much.
Regulus’ eyes trailed down to James’ torso, which was bare since James never slept with a shirt on. The blanket was still loosely wrapped around his shoulders, but it wasn’t doing much.
“You’re so unfair,” Regulus said quietly, turning back to dump the three cream and seven sugars into one of the mugs, stirring it slowly.
James didn’t know what to say to that, he didn’t understand what it meant either, not really. What was so unfair about him? The way Regulus said it…it seemed like a good thing, like he was jealous. God, James hoped Regulus wasn’t jealous of him, he was fantastic himself.
“Did you figure out where we’re going?” James asked to change the subject.
Regulus slid over the mug for James and then mimicked his position, leaning against the counter holding onto his mug with the only hand he was able to use. James had broken bones before, when he was a kid mostly and once he broke his wrist after a football accident.
“Nope,” he said simply.
“Good, I want it to be a surprise.”
Regulus raised an eyebrow, slightly amused but deciding to say nothing as he brought the mug up to his lips. James watched for too long, longer than was appropriate, but he was too weak a man to look away when his lips parted around the mug, so soft and plump in the morning.
He didn’t look away when Regulus noticed, not right away. But soon he turned his attention back to his mug and let the two of them fall into an easy silence.
***
So, Regulus lied. He did that sometimes. He had already looked up the upcoming tour dates for the next two weeks, and he knew exactly where they were heading.
Miami, Florida.
Why did he lie to James and say he didn’t know? For that Regulus had no answer. He just… well James had said he wanted it to be a surprise, and Regulus wasn’t cruel.
Well, he could be. He knew how to be, for years it was all he knew how to be, but now it was his choice. And, while he hated James, there was no need to be cruel.
It didn’t take long for the silence to get too wide for Regulus. Of course James still seemed perfectly comfortable to just exist, but Regulus couldn’t do that with him. He couldn’t do it with many people, only Evan really.
Evan was always good at understanding when to let the silence stay unbroken, better than anybody else Regulus knew. He never felt the need to say something, he never felt like he was letting someone down by having a lack of things to say.
There was Barty too, but it was different with him. Barty talked for the sake of talking all of the time, but he never really expected anything back. He never waited for Regulus to respond properly to a story or wait for his reaction, he just liked to talk without expecting anything in return.
Regulus hadn’t realized how much he actually missed them until that moment.
He had never really had time for friends in the past, but being surrounded by Sirius and all of his friends, it made him miss his. He would never say it out loud though. No, he’d probably send them a text about something random and then they would just text regularly again for a while. It was easy to be friends with them most of the time, they all respected the fact that they were all busy. In fact, Regulus didn’t even know what part of the world they were in at any given moment, just that they were usually together.
Sirius sought him out much earlier than Regulus thought he would. He had heard the conversations last night, so he knew it would be happening eventually.
He did not think it would be before noon though, and he did not think it would be when they were still on the bus for another hour with no escape plan. If Regulus was going to talk to Sirius, he needed an escape plan.
Jumping out of the bus would be his only option.
Sirius shut the door behind him, although they both knew that it wouldn’t do much to block the sound.
Regulus looked up, waiting for him to say something stupid.
“I wanted you there.”
Oh.
They were being real, then. He didn’t even know what to say to that, not at first. Usually they danced around the real issue for a couple of minutes, talking around the subject but never about it.
“I didn’t know that,” Regulus said, settling on the truth. He had had a bad day yesterday, to put it simply, and he really didn’t think that Sirius would want him there.
Sirius nodded. “Okay.“
“Okay.”
“You’ll come to the next one?”
“Yes.”
Sirius let out a huge sigh then, collapsing next to Regulus on the couch and putting an arm over his forehead as if that conversation was exhausting.
“Good, now that that’s out of the way.”
Instinctively, Regulus rolled his eyes. He knew what this was, Sirius had always called it ‘forced brotherly bonding’ whenever they were talking over the phone. It was where they simply were not allowed to hang up for at least twenty minutes, even if they were silent, a rule they had to instate because Regulus would just hang up whenever Sirius asked him something he didn’t want to answer.
“I talked to Prongs.”
“Prongs?”
“James,” Sirius clarified.
“Right,” Regulus mumbled sarcastically. He never understood their nicknames.
“He refused to tell me anything.”
Somewhere in his head, Regulus liked that. A piece of him was basking in the fact that the two of them did keep things from each other, that James hadn’t just told Sirius everything he told him.
“Good.”
“So, that means there’s something to tell, then?”
Regulus shrugged. “Lost my job,” he said nonchalantly.
“They can’t do that,” Sirius responded automatically. Regulus let it rest for a moment, to let him catch up on what exactly it was that he did for a living. It was hard to be a principal dancer when one of your limbs was going to be in a cast for the next three weeks. “Oh,” he said once he realized.
“It’s not a big deal. My time was coming anyway.”
Sirius’ eyebrows shot up. “You were literally in your prime.”
“Yes, and one’s prime only lasts so long.”
“Reg-”
“Sirius, there’s no way I’m going to be able to get a job after this. I mean, I’m losing almost a month of practice, my reputation is shot, and I won’t be nearly as strong as I was. It’s over. I’m over it.”
“You’re over it?”
Regulus would love to use his escape plan now because no, he wasn’t over it. Not really. He hadn’t even started to deal with it yet, but he didn’t need Sirius to know that, he didn’t need anybody to know that.
“Yes,” he said, lying through his teeth.
“Reg, just-”
“No. Talking about it won’t change the fact, okay?”
Sirius shook his head a little bit, and selfishly he wished Sirius was still emotionally repressed like he was. But no, he got out sooner and he got slightly better mentally, although they were both still very fucked up in the head. But, Sirius actually talked about his feelings now, and Regulus thought it was disgusting.
“Are you taking your meds?”
“No.”
“Is it because-”
“Don’t,” Regulus interrupted.
They both knew the reason that he hadn’t taken any of the pain meds the hospital had given him, it didn’t need to be spoken into existence, especially with the likelihood that three strangers could just be listening in at any moment.
Pain wasn’t something they were supposed to treat. As kids, if they were in pain, then they were doing well. Ballet was pain, that’s what their parents always said anyway. The more it hurt, the better they were doing.
It was hard to just switch from that, to realize that his body shouldn’t be in constant pain and that there were things that could help him manage it.
“I have melatonin,” Sirius said next.
Regulus thought that maybe the bags under his eyes were worse than he thought.
“No, thanks.”
“It wasn’t an offer. I will literally shove them down your throat.”
He knew Sirius would make good on that promise, so he didn’t refuse. Not yet. He would probably give him a couple and Regulus would just pretend to take them to avoid an argument.
“The show is tomorrow. You’re coming?” Sirius confirmed.
“I’ll be there.”
———
He could sense James waiting for his reaction as soon as they stepped off the bus. And, while it wasn’t one of complete shock, Regulus was still mildly impressed at what he saw. Miami was beautiful and full of life, even in the middle of the day. There were tall palm trees on the sides of city streets, and their hotel overlooked the Atlantic Ocean and a large beach.
“It’s Miami baby!” James said loudly, shaking Regulus’ shoulders for a brief moment before running after Peter to go inside the hotel.
Regulus stood frozen for a moment, trying to shake off the feeling of James’ hands.
“Alright there?” Remus asked, walking up next to him.
Every single time Regulus saw him the first thing he thought was how fucking tall he was. It wasn’t even that Regulus was that short, 5’10 and a ½ to be specific. But Remus? Like seven feet tall.
“Regulus?”
“How tall are you?” Regulus asked, unable to stop the question from falling out of his mouth.
“6’3,” he responded easily, not even having to lie about it.
“Fuck you,” he said with a breathy laugh.
“Ooh, are we fucking Moony?” Sirius asked, showing up right behind them.
Regulus rolled his eyes, writing it off as his brother just being an idiot, like usual.
“Not together, no,” Regulus responded.
Remus’ cheeks heated up slightly. “Or separate,” he mumbled.
Sirius looped an arm around both of their shoulders, walking them towards the hotel. “Oh Moony, breaking my heart.”
Since Regulus wasn’t actually supposed to be on their tour, he ended up sharing a room with Sirius, something neither of them were too happy about.
At first, they had just stood in the doorway of the room, the singular bed. They hadn’t shared a bed since they were kids, back when the nightmares crept into their real life and they just needed the comfort of knowing the other one was there.
Before Sirius could even move, Regulus announced that he was going to be using the bathroom first, walking right into the room and shutting the door. His body ached and he wanted nothing more than to take a long hot shower.
He was hoping that they would all be going out later, or Sirius at least, so that he could just have some time alone. Maybe if he was really and truly alone with enough space, he would be able to get some sleep. Or he could take Sirius up on the offer for the melatonin.
Just before they had arrived at the hotel, Regulus texted Barty and Evan, starting their group chat back up that they hadn’t properly used in months. He was hardly ever the one to text first, and he was realizing that if he wanted something, he was going to have to put in the effort.
It had been much easier when they were at school, when they shared a dorm room and saw each other all the time. Now all three of them were busy, usually on different sides of the world or too busy to even check their phone.
After his shower though, he noticed that they had both responded to his text.
[12:22pm] Regulus
I broke my wrist
[1:45pm] Barty
lmao fucking idiot
[1:49pm] Evan
Does it hurt?
[2:08pm] Regulus
No, feels great actually
[2:09pm] Evan
This is literally the last time I decide to be nice to you
[2:09] Barty
Me too
[2:09] Barty
So, broken wrist?
[2:09] Regulus
Yup
[2:09] Evan
Ballet?
[2:09] Regulus
Fired.
[2:09] Barty
No, you’re joking
They can’t fire you
[2:10] Evan
How did you break your wrist?
[2:10] Regulus
I fell while dancing
[2:10] Barty
You’re pranking us
[2:10] Regulus
I wish I was
[2:10] Evan
You don’t fall though
[2:11] Regulus
FIrst time for everything
[2:11] Barty
What are you doing then?
Back home?
[2:11] Regulus
Not quite
I’m in Miami
[2:12] Evan
Oh you’re definitely pranking us
[2:12] Regulus
Pranks really aren’t my thing
[2:12] Barty
REGGIE
ur not in miami
are you joking right now?
[2:12] Regulus
Not joking
With my brother and his band on tour for a couple of days
[2:12] Evan
Regulus
Stop.
[2:13] Regulus
What?
[2:13] Evan
We’re working
[2:13] Regulus
You guys are always working
[2:14] Barty
Not always
[2:14] Evan
We’re working the tour
We have been
We’re in Miami
It took another five minutes of them all convincing each other they weren’t joking. Regulus had no idea how they ended up being the security for his brother’s tour, but he was far from complaining. Anything to make these next couple of days bearable at least.
Of course this meant his night of rest and relaxation was basically shot since Barty insisted on them all going out that night.
He didn’t really have any clothes that were going out worthy, and his arm was broken which was really putting a bit of a damper on everything he owned. Sirius had some clothes, and although he would likely murder Regulus if he found out, it was a risk he was willing to take.
While he wanted nothing more than to go home, he was suddenly very glad that he was on tour with them for a while. It gave him the perfect excuse to see his friends again, and to actually let loose. His ‘party era’ hadn’t lasted very long, just for a little while out of secondary school when he spent the summer traipsing around the world with Barty and Evan.
He thought that Sirius and his friends had all already left, so he was very surprised when the door to the hotel room opened and all four of them were standing there. Sirius himself seemed to have forgotten that he was sharing a room with him, because the look on his face almost matched Regulus’.
This was also the first time that any of them had seen him in something other than his ballet clothes or pajamas, and they were openly staring.
He had put on a black crop top that fell just above his belly button and a pair of dark wash jeans, something simple and yet also real clothes. The jeans were a little bit loose around his waist, but not so bad that they were falling down. It had been hell trying to get them on with just his one arm.
“Those are my clothes!” Sirius said, noticing almost immediately.
Regulus looked down, pretending he hadn’t even noticed. “Oh? Are they?”
“Those are yours?” Remus asked. He seemed to have just blurted it out accidentally, looking between Regulus and Sirius like he didn’t really know what to believe.
“Yes,” Sirius said, practically pouting.
Peter practically shoved himself forward, pushing past Remus and James to stand in front. His jaw dropped almost the exact moment he saw Regulus officially.
“Fuck me,” he mumbled led quietly. Sirius nudged him, but Peter didn’t take it back. “You are a beautiful, beautiful man.”
“Stop hitting on my brother.”
“I can’t.”
Regulus fought a smile. “Sorry, drummers aren’t my type either.”
Peter sighed dramatically, throwing himself onto the bed. “No blondes, no drummers, I just can’t win.”
“What is your type then?” James said, speaking up for the first time. His voice seemed a little bit strained, and he had to cough to get it back to normal.
Sirius stepped in the middle of them. “Nope, we aren’t doing this. Are you going to change?” he asked, turning back to Regulus.
He shook his head, grabbing his phone and wallet and stuffing them in his pockets. “I’m going out, didn’t have any clothes,” he explained.
“What? Alone?”
“Barty and Evan.”
“Who are Barty and Evan?”
“Your security.” Regulus knew he wasn’t properly explaining anything, but it was hilarious to him the way Sirius was struggling to keep up. “Don’t wait up,” he said before slipping a room key into his pocket and leaving the room, not missing the way their eyes followed him out.
He turned heads, he knew that. He had grown up in the spotlight and he was well aware of the attention he got. It was always people trying to get something from him, to use him to reach a higher status or achieve some goal. His beauty was valuable, and he knew how to use it to his advantage, even if he didn’t always want to.
Evan and Barty were waiting in the lobby for him, lounging on one of the couches. The moment they reunited it felt like no time had passed, and the walk to the bar was filled with easy conversation, catching up on what they have been doing, avoiding the subject of Regulus’ job and Barty’s family with a familiar touch of expertise.
They knew when to dance around a conversation and when it was just time to outright say something.
“I always knew you would look good in crop tops,” Barty said, feeling the need to point it out after their first round of drinks. It had been so long since Regulus had been to a bar, so he trusted Evan to order him something good. He had no idea what was in it, just that it was good and it was fruity.
“No, you didn’t.”
“I did too. Remember when we were shopping?” Barty asked, gesturing wildly as if that would help Regulus pick out exactly which shopping trip he was referring to.
“No.”
He sighed. “Evan knows what I’m talking about.”
Evan’s eyes widened slightly, humor dancing in them as he took a sip from his glass, pointedly not confirming or denying this. Regulus knew he had no idea what Barty was talking about either.
“My point is you look hot.”
Regulus nodded, not really fazed. Barty was always calling everyone hot, he’d been saying it to Regulus since they were fifteen and objectively not very hot.
“You and your slutty little waist.”
Evan started laughing obnoxiously, having to hold on to the back of Regulus’ chair to keep himself upright. Regulus himself couldn’t stop the smile out of simple disbelief. He finished the rest of his drink quickly, realizing he would have to if he wanted to even attempt to keep up with Barty or Evan that night.
After two drinks, Regulus loosened up enough for a lazy smile to permanently be on his face. After four drinks he went out to the dance floor with Evan and made out with Barty for about ten seconds before they both couldn’t stop giggling. After six drinks they all started getting into the real drama about their lives, Barty’s mom dying, Evan falling into a deep depression, Regulus losing his job, etc etc. After nine drinks, Regulus complained about James Potter. A lot.
“He never wears a fucking shirt,” Regulus said angrily. He was angry about it. How hard was it to wear clothes around people who were practically strangers?
“James Potter?” Evan confirmed.
“Oh, he is so pretty,” Barty said. Regulus didn’t try to disagree. It was just a fact that James was pretty, of course he was. It made hating him even harder. “Can you ask him to walk around us without a shirt?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I hate him.”
“No, you don’t,” Evan said.
“I do.”
They didn’t get back to the hotel until almost four in the morning, and they had tried to stay quiet, they honestly had. But they were properly smashed and they were friends that hadn’t seen each other in far too long.
Their rooms were on the same floor, and Barty blew Regulus a good night kiss when they stopped at his door first, walking arm in arm with Evan down to the other end of the hallway.
It took a couple of tries for Regulus to get the key in, and when he finally got it in the slot, it wasn’t working.
“Fuck,” he said quietly, sliding it in and out with the same result.
He had no other house but to wake Sirius up, so he knocked. Loudly. He could feel bad about it later, for now he wanted nothing more than to just crawl into bed (even if he was sharing it) and pass out until the late afternoon. He always slept best when he was drunk, and he was looking forward to hours of uninterrupted sleep.
“Wake up!” he said loudly, pounding on the door once more.
He could vaguely hear the sound of someone getting up, so he stopped hitting the door and stepped back a little bit, waiting for it to open.
Regulus stopped breathing for a moment when James opened the door, rubbing his eyes and characteristically not wearing a shirt. Regulus was drunk, he let himself stare. His first thought was why was James in his room?
“Regulus?” James asked, his head falling to the side a little as he looked at him in confusion.
“You’re in my room.”
“This isn’t your room,” he said softly, fondly.
Regulus frowned. “You aren’t wearing a shirt,” he said next. He felt the need to point it out, it was bothering him.
“Yeah, it’s hot in the rooms.”
“It’s air conditioned.”
James smiled. “Yeah, I tend to run hot though.”
The desire to reach out and touch, to find out for himself if this was true information, was simply too strong to ignore, and he couldn’t even process what was happening before his hand was reaching out to feel the soft skin of James’ torso.
He had abs. Regulus wanted to touch them, to lick them. Even drunk he knew that was inappropriate. James seemed to be amused, letting Regulus run his hands all over the front of his body, which he found out was indeed hot. How did that even happen? He was like a human furnace, or maybe Regulus was just always cold.
“Love, you’re drunk,” he said, carefully guiding Regulus’ hands away from his body. He was cold again, and he was upset about it.
“Don’t call me that,” Regulus said, a tiny part of him trying to remind him that he was dead set on hating James.
“Okay.”
“Why are you in my room?”
“Your room is across the hall, Reg,” James told him.
“Regulus.”
“Hmm?”
“My name is Regulus.”
“Oh, right. Regulus. Sorry.”
His brain finally seemed to catch up to him, and he realized James wasn’t in his room and that his room was across the hall.
“Goodnight,” he said, turning on his heel and checking the room number on the key that time, not wanting to walk into the wrong one or wake up a stranger.
“Goodnight, Regulus,” he heard James say.
He must have waited until Regulus got into his room, because he didn’t hear his door close until after Regulus had closed his, careful not to wake Sirius when he climbed into bed, not bothering to change his clothes.