Chapter 3
Draco had gone home that night, still content and quieter than usual but Harry wasn’t worried. He knew Draco would be too tired to do much overthinking but he was now thinking about how to give the man what he wanted.
They went back to their usual messaging and flirting within the app, where Harry brought up more of what they had fantasized about but wasn’t sure if
things they really wanted.
H:<So I was thinking. Some of the things you sent me are pretty heavy. Are you actually into this much degradation and painplay?>
D<yeah? It wasn’t an issue before, is it one now? I like to be forced to submit>
H:<No it’s not. I just have to do more research to be that type of dom. I’ve always been a soft dom like what we did last time>
D<Yeah that's not my style. I’m someone who likes the release of that pain and the ache after. I’m more okay with being used than to being doted on>
H<I can do that. But I will always dote on you when you submit. Even if it's pain that you want. What are your limits?>
D<don't have any. Harry, I don't think you understand how deep my need is. If I don't have that distracting pain I lose my shit. I do not care if you make me bleed. I don’t care if you tie me up to panic. Either way, eventually I get out of my head.>
H<dude. That isn't healthy. Like at all. >
D<im someone who gets off on letting people use me. What part of that sounds healthy to you?>
H<come over.>
D<oh? Did I finally piss you off?>
H<come over>
What the fuck? Harry was thinking. How does someone like that not see how one day he's gonna have the wrong guy get the wrong impression and he's gonna get more than he can handle. How has it not happened yet? Is this why he hasn't kept a dom for very long? They realized he was using them to self harm? Harry has used tools on a past partner before but he had never been as rough as Draco claims to need. But he also has that massive praise kink, one that Harry is betting is bigger than his want to be degraded.
There was a sound in the hallway and a moment later a “Potter?”
“In the living room Draco” soft footsteps padded into the room where Harry had decided that this is how he was gonna do this. “Have you eaten?”
“Yeah i had a large brunch”
“Good boy” Harry said, as if he was just commenting on the weather, noting how almost immediately the paler man’s ears went pink. “I was thinking about cooking pasta for dinner if you would like to stay.”
“Why did you tell me to come over?” Draco asked as he sat next to the other, only for Harry to make a disapproving noise. “No pet, I want you to kneel on the floor.” he scrambled off the seat to kneel at Harry’s side, and looked up.
“Because. If you want to be used, I will use you how I see fit. But right now. I want you to talk to me about what you.. Need.”
“I. I . i can't” he looked at the floor “please. I can't ask for it like this. Please take it from me.”
Harry reached out to cup his cheek “oh sweetness. I promise you. Whatever you ask for, I will give you tonight. But you have to ask, I do not take.”
Draco went completely red. Such a different person without the screen between us. Harry mused. “I want to.. Be used. I want the pain. I want to only be able to be good and to not be a fuck up.”
“Draco. You have never been and never will be, a fuck up.” He slid his hand to the back of the other's head and grasped a handful of his hair, the sudden pull making Draco whimper. “Up with me, little pet. Come to my room.” he stood, draco not moving, eyes still shut from having his hair pulled “either stand up or I will Carry you.” “Ye- Yes sir” Draco breathed out as he stood. They walked to the room, where Harry directed him to yet again strip. As he did so he rummaged in a drawer pulling out a paddle. “You want to be spanked? I can do that. But this isn’t a punishment. My punishments aren't things you'll like. And I know you’ll like this.” He eyed the paddle,body already showing interest. But he already knew Harry would make him say it. A pit of humiliation grew in his stomach as he asked for the paddle. “I- i've been a g-good boy… I deserve t-this”
His dom lit up at his words “yes you do you perfect little whore. Wanting, needing the pain. Needing to wear my marks. Lovely. “ Harry sat on the edge of the bed and patted his lap “come on then” “you're… putting me over your knee?”
“Mmhm. is that alright?” Draco sighed “yeah i guess” and laid across the other man’s lap. Flush with embarrassment he was not surprised to find out this was another humiliation he enjoyed.
“Good boy. Listening so well. I think you need a reward don’t you?”
Harry cupped his ass for a moment before grabbing the paddle. At the first strike, Draco’s whole body jolted not expecting it to be that hard. He let out a whimper that turned into a moan as Harry set a firm pace, layering the marks until there wasn't an inch of his ass that wasn't bright red and hot to the touch. “Do you want more?”
hiccuping all draco could do was nod. He never wanted it to stop. He wanted to feel himself break apart, to shatter, not just crack. And that pain was the only way he knew how.
Harry pursed his lips but obliged. After all, Draco was an adult. He knew his limits. Eventually Draco stilled, breathing labored and boneless. “S-stop.” immediately Harry set the paddle down.and moved to support the man as he turned him over, he hissed at the contact of his ass with Harry’s legs. “Draco?” the blonde blinked up at him, obviously lost in his subspace “you stopped?” softly smiling Harry said “of course.you told me to. You took quite a beating. I'll be surprised if it doesn't bruise.” “oh.” he shook his head a bit. “Can we continue? I.. i need..”
Harry shushed him, brushing his sweaty bangs out of his face. “Of course dear. But no more impact play for the night. Now I’m going to eat you out. You did wonderfully for me and you took it beautifully. I can’t believe it. You are perfect, my pet.” Draco preened under the praise, before whispering “can you.. Can you finger me instead?”
“I’d love to. Do you want to be back over my knees? Or on the bed?”
The flush of humiliation that comes when he thinks about being bent back over his doms knee being fingered open like a slut grew hot. “Knees please”
“Good boy” Harry murmured before helping Draco turn over again. Softly he laid a hand on the still hot flesh, causing draco to hiss. Stroking gently he moved towards his hole, anc conjured some lube to his fingers, petting the opening before slowly pushing one digit in. Whining, Draco pushed back against the finger trying to get more in him. “Patience my pet. I'm going to finger you to completion. But I refuse to damage what's mine.”
At hearing Harry call him his, Draco slipped fully into his subspace, freely babbling about how much of a whore he was. How much he loved to be used. How all he wants is to please Harry and be hurt until he was broken, how he would do anything Harry wanted. Harry was taken aback by how draco was being, not expecting this to be what a completely gone him was like. His heart ached with hearing all Draco wanted was to not be discarded. At that moment he must have found the other's prostate with the full body jolt he gave, and the weak thrust back onto his fingers. “Such a good boy. So pretty for me. All open and wanting just for me. You are beautiful my pet” As Draco came wordlessly dripping cum onto the floor under Harry's legs. He gently removed his fingers, wiping them off on the blanket. And pulling the other up, and against his chest. He laid down keeping Draco in his arms as he was shaking and still completely out of it. Harry realized suddenly when he felt his boner rub painfully against his boxers that he hadn't came himself but he wasn't that worried at the moment. This time he had A damp flannel at the ready so he didn't have to leave. As he began to clean the other off, from sweat and lube he started talking, just so draco would hear his voice. “Did so good for me. You looked like you enjoyed the hell out of that. So gorgeous watching you fall apart like that.” and he then began feeding and having him sip water again as he watched Draco close his eyes and drift off.
~~~~~
Once again Draco awoke tucked under the other's chin, arms wrapped around him. “Heya” Harry said softly. “I’m sore,” Draco replied simply. “But I love it. It makes me feel whole.”
“Oh Draco, you were whole to begin with. But watching you break and putting you back together again is a sight to behold.” he paused.'' But Draco, I want you to know that you are wonderful. You’re my good wonderful pet who did so well for me” Draco preened for a moment before “I wasn’t too needy was I? I know i can say some pretty off putting things when I'm out of it.”
“No, of course not. Draco you can never be too needy. You being open and submitting to me will never be off putting.”
“Ah. well in that case. Did you like doing this? Because this is what most scenes with me will be like if i can help it. That pain, it's a need so innate to me it's like breathing. I crave that hurt more than any sort of softness.
“I loved watching you get what you needed,” he said simply. “I'm not a sadist. But with you I want to care for you however you need. My pet deserves to be able to fly, and always know I will catch him.” at that Draco blushed a crimson from his nose to his ears. “You take such good care of me after. It’s so different from what I would get before.”
“That's because when you trust me with yourself like this. I will treasure you. You are beautiful when you blush so hard I fear you'll turn ginger. And you are beautiful when you're eating dinner with me afterwards.”
“You’re such a sap Potter sometimes I wonder how we matched up on that site.”
“Fate probably” he shrugged “but in all seriousness based on sexual wants.. needs “ he added looking at the blonde in his arms “you needed someone you could submit to and still remain yourself. And I- I adore dominating someone and watching them fall apart, obey me and let me take care of them.”
Suddenly Draco just started sobbing. Deep shaking sobs that left Harry deeply confused and worried “Draco whats wrong? What do you need?” between breaths Draco started apologizing “I- Im needy im sorry I just. I do *need* this and I know it’s fucked up that i keep asking for worse, for more. But it’s like if i dont- dont- have it my head's a mess and i just hear every “malfoy” that's ever been sneered at me. Every time I was forced to do awful things,to hurt people. It just wells up until I can't bear it.” Harry knew that Draco was expecting an answer, perhaps an admonishment but all he could say was “Oh. oh Draco” and pulled him closer.
“I was a child soldier. We all were. I was forced to bear the mark of my betrayal or I would lose my family. I had to hurt.. To kill. People I saw every day for years.” he sobbed harder “I don’t deserve the praise or the softness, but i crave it. As much as I crave the pain.”
Pulling another blanket around them Harry started tracing circles on Draco’s bare back.
“No. Draco you deserve all you want. You are allowed to heal. We all are. Is that why you submit? As a punishment?”
“At the beginning, yes. But I grew to.. Enjoy the pain.”
“And the pleasure?” Harry asked “Draco..you can’t have pain without pleasure. That’s no longer kink . that's abuse. You can't be beaten and hurt and demeaned without there being an after. Without there being someone there to hold you as you come back”
“It's what I deserve” He whispered. “Besides. If I ever had a wizard partener, to them seeing my mark was more than enough justification to take out their rage.”
“Fuck” was all harry could mutter, “just. What the fuck. I see your mark and I see what happened to you, what you had to endure just like the rest of us.”
Draco breathed deep, finally regaining composure “unfortunately your opinion is in the minority. I think you may be the only one”
“Well im glad i found you then if i’m the only one. Because that treatment should never happen again. Even if you choose to find another dominant to care for your sexual needs, I want to instill what this should be no matter who you are.”
Suddenly Draco seemed to melt into Harry “as riveting as this conversation is I am.. Suddenly exhausted. So I think I'm going back to sleep now.” the blonde yawned and wiggled closer to Harry, entwining their legs.
~~~
The next time they awoke it was nearing the evening, already dark outside. Draco hummed,head much clearer this time around. Harry was still asleep, nuzzled into Draco's hair and arms still wrapped around him. “Nngh Harry You gotta let me up. I have to pee”
“No don't go” Harry murmured, still mostly asleep. “Harry. Please.” and he attempted to wriggle out of the others arms. Finally waking up he released the other, slowly sitting up. “Oops sorry”
Draco rolled out of bed and walked towards the bathroom, still naked and with bruises blossoming from where he got paddled. Harry stared in appreciation.
As the other disappeared from the doorway Harry stretched and got up, straightening the blankets he had nested around them and then headed to his dresser where he pulled out an old sweater of his and some soft pants, not wanting Draco to have to get back into the street clothes he arrived in. he then wondered if draco even realized he had just gone through sub drop or if he just thought that was normal. The thought of him just accepting that a flood of negative emotions after an intense scene like that made his skin crawl, how could another dominant be alright with watching the person who gave so much of themselves be filled with so much self loathing after a scene? Either way Harry was going to make sure Draco learned what a gift his submission was one way or another.
Draco quickly walked back in a light blush on his cheeks, he must have noticed his bruises.
“Ah Draco, I put some of my clothes out for you, as delicious as you look I'm sure you would want some warm clothes to put on” the blonde ducked his head but muttered out a small “thanks” as he got dressed. He was by no means a twink, lith and muscular,standing only a few inches shorter than Harry, but he seemed to shrink in on himself all the time. After he was dressed Harry turned to walk out of the room only saying “i think we deserve a nice meal after playing so hard, don’t you?”
In the kitchen they filled their plates with the leftovers Harry pulled out and went to sit on the couch again. “Draco, I’m not sure if you’re okay with this so of course its up to you but would you like me to feed you?”
“No. I can do it myself” he said curtly.
“That's fine with me, it’s why i asked.”
“Bloody hell Potter. I’m not a child, i’m not something that’s so easily broken! I’m just as old as you. Just as experienced in life! You don’t have to coddle me so much after we fuck.” He glared at the other stabbing his fork into his meal.
“yes.. “ Harry said slowly “I know you aren't a weak inexperienced child. I know how tough you are and how much you put up with, That’s why when and after we play, I wish to pamper you. To make sure you are in the proper headspace to leave and be strong again until you’re ready to give me control again.” he looked draco straight in the eyes “tell me again that you don’t want aftercare and the feeling that goes with it. That you honestly do not like the feeling of being taken care of even for only a while.”
“I don’t need it”
“But you want it. Draco are you aware you were sent into sub drop after our scene earlier? The rush of emotion that comes after a scene are normal, yes. But it’s not supposed to turn into self loathing the way it did with you. That you started berating yourself for your kinks.” He put his hand on the others leg “I know you aren't weak. A weak man could never give up what you do, to trust someone the way you do. But you aren’t meant to hate yourself for it either.”
“It was supposed to be so simple. You were only supposed to take out your anger, let me break and let me leave. But you praise me. You keep trying to treat me like I’m precious. Like I didn’t treat you like dogshit in school. Like I wasn’t a death eater. You haven't even used magic against me yet when you could have me at your mercy for anything i’ve done. “
Harry blinked, “Uh yeah Draco. That isn't healthy. Thats straight up just using kink as a way to self harm. As I said before, I will never allow you to do that. When we play you are Mine and I don't let anyone hurt what is mine, even yourself.I don’t want to do it today because you are way too stressed out but soon we are going to sit down and write out every kink we want to participate in and every limit you have. Even if you think you deserve to have those limits broken.”
“You care too much Potter”
“You don’t care enough Mal- Draco”