We could be heroes
06.10.1975
Now that the whole Gryffindor Quidditch team had gathered in the locker room and the last people grabbed their brooms, they collectively stepped out onto the pitch for their first practice of the week.
The cold air to his face felt like James had just been slapped. It was just the beginning of the school year, and no one else seemed to mind the cold, and normally he didn’t either, but recently it bothered him.
He shook his head to clear his head. Hah, that never really worked for him, a true shame.
James looked down at his hands, he was wearing his new Dragonhide gloves, Effie had gifted them to him. He wanted to make her proud. She deserved a son, who gave everything, and he knew he would.
He made a fist a couple of times, took a deep breath and took a step forward.
The gloves were the only piece of clothing which didn’t feel wrong.
Normally, his Quidditch robes never bothered him. Today however they did, they felt too tight, in the wrong places, too itchy, too warm, he was slowly suffocating. He tugged at the collar a couple of times, it disappointed him when this didn’t help elevate the feeling.
To distract himself he looked around the pitch, that’s when he saw her.
“Yo Marlene, want to hang out later?” James said running up to stand next to her, well, he kind of yelled, it was windy.
A warm simile met his eyes.
“Sure, James”, the only female Gryffindor Quidditch player answered.
James Potter adored Marlene McKinnon.
No one knew this, but she was the person who helped him accept himself for being pansexual, during his second year.
They had spent an afternoon in a tree, they both had a lot of energy and loved nature, so naturally they climbed trees.
The back then young boy had hidden his feelings so well. He just didn’t really understand them. Although the Wizarding World was more accepting than the muggle world, it was never really talked about. This led to him not being sure if his friends he had met last year, now known as the Marauders, would understand and accept him. They only knew him as the boy who’s heart beat for Lily Evans.
It surprised even him, quite a bit actually, when one day it didn’t anymore.
Frank Longbottom was his pansexual awakening. Marlene had explained to him what bisexuality and pansexuality is. James figured out he was pan. This information was a lot for him to handle back then. She made him understand that his friends would stay loyal to him, that they would still love him and see him as they James they had got to know during the last year, and if they didn’t, they were the wrong people to hang out with.
She had given him a lot of hugs.
It helped.
Marlene taught him how much impact hugs can have.
Of course, he has been hugged before, Effie loves to hug him and kiss his forehead, but it wasn’t the same.
When Marlene hugged him in those moments, as they sat high up on a thick branch, looking at life down below, he felt like no other moment existed apart from the now.
He felt like anything could happen, but he would be okay. The tree would burn down for all he cared, he would still feel safe. James doesn't think she knows that she is the reason he learned to never let go of hugs first.
“Great, catch you in the common room later?”, he asked.
“Yeah, just make sure I don’t bet your ass this practice” she laughed with a devilish grin on her face.
“Ha. Never”.
“Gather round!” a highly motivated Frank shouted.
The team immediately obeyed, they knew they would have to run a couple of laps around the pitch after practice if they didn’t.
Dear old Frank gave his good old speech that went something like, give it your all, watch out for your team, make yourselves proud…
The warm-up consisted of flying a couple rounds around the pitch, Frank gave different instructions for each lap.
Most players flew fast but did not give everything they had, because they knew they had a long, brutal practice ahead and wanted to conserve some energy.
James was not most. He never understood how the others could just hold back. Flying felt incredible, he felt free. The faster you fly, the better you feel in James’s opinion.
Remus would strongly disagree and probably throw a book at him.
Who is James kidding?
Remu would never harm a book like that. A chocolate wrapper, that is what would hit James straight in the face. It was always accompanied by an exasperated look from James and an almost manic laugh from Sirius.
James didn’t get to feel free a lot.
He constantly felt trapped, held hostage by his very own mind.
So, given the opportunity, he took it. He did every time and he never looked back.
The physical effects he felt he welcomed with opened arms. The burning lungs and limbs, the rapid breathing, the pain, he enjoyed it. It gave him a sense of peace.
I think it’s because I can control the pain. I can deal with physical pain. I would take it any day over the pain I feel mentally.
In those moments, his mind quieted down for a while. So he flew fast.
James thinks if during practice he just flew fast, the others would be fine with it. Add reckless. You get a dangerous combination. A combination James likes to test the limits on every time he picks up a broom. To his utmost dismay, this had been brought to the attention of the Gryffindor Head of House. The conversations never led anywhere. James was just too good, he may be reckless, he may look like an utter wanker, but he knew what he was doing.
James was an incredible Chaser. The best of the best, and he knew it.
If you knew James aside from a Quidditch Pitch, you would know that he, as a person, just is pretty reckless. So they were used to it by now.
He got hurt during practice and games a lot, he mostly would hide it, it wasn’t a big deal.
During this practice he felt his shoulder more and more, the pain crept upon him, he couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Apart from this, it had been good practice. He landed slowly, making sure not to let his face portray the pain he felt inside. But oh, wasn’t he good at that.
As the others made their way back to their locker rooms, James ran up next to Frank.
“Frank, great practice. Do you have a moment” the energetic boy asked.
“Sure”, the older Gryffindor answered.
“Great. Thanks. Hey, listen. I’ve been thinking. What would you think of me starting, where I teach the first and second year Gryffindors some Quidditch?
Look, I know it’s weird. They have Madam Hooch for that.
I just can’t help feel like I could do it better, I never really enjoyed her classes.
She took the fun out of it.
I wanted to create a safe place where they could learn and develop their skills without knowing they are receiving grades for it. They should just be able to switch off and have some run for a couple of hours.
They are too young to make the Quidditch Team, but I've seen the looks of envy they throw at us before matches. They would get to learn at their own pace, which is really important because if you’ve never sat on a broom before it can be intimidating.
I just would've liked something like during my first year.
Not necessarily for Quidditch, but for other classes.
Anyways, never mind, ignore the last thing I said.
What was I going to say?
Oh, yeah, look, it’s also another way to make friends, which can be hard during the first weeks…
I want to make it a safe place for Muggleborns or anyone really who didn’t grow up playing some Quidditch. Hooch doesn’t have the patience for them, she didn’t back them, and it breaks my heart.
I just can’t let this go, Frank.
Would you be okay with me doing this? I know Quidditch is your area, but I think I can help make Hogwarts just a little better, and I would really like to try. I’ll try really hard, you know this, I hope you do, I’m rambling again… sorry.”
“Oh, James. What a lovely idea. Sure you can. Do you need any help with organizing anything?” his captain asked.
“Oh, um, thanks, hmm, I think I got it. I need to ask McGonagall first anyway. I just needed to know that you would be okay with the idea.”
“Got something else for me? It’s getting cold out here.”
“Nah, let’s shower.”
James stayed in the shower the longest.
He zoned out, staring at the water falling before his eyes.
Eventually, he snapped out of it as someone left the locker room, calling:
“See ya, James.”
He rushed to turn off the now scolding hot water.
Quickly he put on his boxers, they had snitches on them, thanks Padfoot.
He pulled on his trousers and his white Hogwarts shirt, quickly did his tie.
It was quite messy, not straight. But then again, so was he.
He left it like that.
Running his hair through his hands and shaking his head like a dog a couple of times, only once he had done this he left the locker room.
Yes, it was cold outside. It was October. He forgot his jumper.
Normally, the Marauders help him remember things.
Remus usually asked if he had a jumper with him. James usually said no. Remus usually gave him one of his, that boy had so, so many. James loved them.
This morning, Remus had left the dorm early to return some books back to the library. Sirius and James had headed down to breakfast together, to later be joined by Peter and Remus.
“Fuck”, James mumbled to himself.
He was halfway back to the castle, and he had left his wand in the locker room. And his beanie but, that wasn’t that important, although James did love it.
Peter had gifted it to him on his last birthday.
Oh, yeah, the wand. He groaned and ran back, it was slowly getting dark, and he was tired.
How could he be so dumb?
One day, he thought grimly, this would back to bite him in the ass.
Panting, he arrived back in the locker rooms, saw his wand lying innocently on the bench, next to his maroon colored hat.
Letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, he grabbed both and left.
-
Quite disheveled James arrived in the Gryffindor common room, he quickly walked past the third years who were sitting around a table, all hunching over some parchment and a couple of books. Hearing him enter, they looked up, he gave them a smile and a short wavy, they smiled back.
James was good with kids, he doesn't know what he does, they just like him.
James likes that bunch too, he has helped them out with their DADA homework a couple of times.
Having crossed the common room, he climbed the stairs as fast as he could, he was freezing from his walk back.
The castle was warm, but he had just spent too much time outside to warm up that quickly.
He burst through the door, smirking as he saw their door still read “beware of the dog”, which a very drunk Peter had scribbled on there.
As they realized the next morning, they were all on the floor, rolling from laughter. They really couldn’t get a grip on themselves.
As he opened the dorm door he saw, Remus was working on homework, books and parchment spread all around him, Peter was cleaning, and Sirius was jumping around trying to distract Remus. Remus, having been exposed to this behavior for the last couple of years, managed to ignore it, mostly.
“Hey, Prongs” a happy Sirius spoke with a smile.
“Hey, Padfoot”.
Ever since coming up with the nicknames a month ago, after their first full moon with Moony, they’ve (Sirius) been obsessed with calling each other by their nicknames.
“How was prac-”
“James, are you shivering?” Remus interrupted sternly.
“Yeah, left my jumper in our dorm, and had to run back to the locker room, forgot stuff”, he answered with a frown on his face.
He looked quite silly really, his curly hair was everywhere wild and free, his tie was not straight, and his shirt was crumpled, his glasses sat at an angle and his trousers were too short, he had picked up Padfoot’s this morning and just went with it, the maroon beanie also looked like it had better days, James wore it a lot.
After having spoken, Remus jumped up, abandoning his homework to get him a jumper.
This wool jumper that Moony gave James was, dark blue shade, ocean blue, with some small strips.
James loved it.
He quickly pulled it over his face.
Peter gave him a cookie he had baked. Peter loved cooking in the kitchens after the four Marauders had found the entrance in their second year.
James and Remus liked to bake cookies too, they just had a little extra ingredient that the ones from Peter didn’t have.
Sirius cast a heating charm on James.
“Thanks, lads, I really gotta remember that warming charm”, he said
“Next time I see you shivering, I'm putting a sticking charm on my jumpers”, said the owner of the most grandpa jumper you have ever seen.
“Ha.” barked Sirius.
“Pft” James said as he chuckled softly.
“The trip was worth it, Marauders, I’ve got a prank idea”, Prongs said excited.
He will never miss the way Sirius’s eyes light up, after hearing the words “prank” or “idea” to be honest, when James spoke the words.
Remu growned, but agreed to sit with the rest on James’s bed as he began to explain.
They planned and schemed for a while, during which Peter got up to get some more of his famous chocolate chip cookies, he said he would give them his recipe of his dead body, which made the drama queen, that Sirius, whine: “Moonnnnny”.
-
An hour later, he met with Marlene in the common room.
They sat next to the fireplace.
Sirius came down and joined them, Remus studied some more and Peter took a shower and read.
The dyslexic girl who grew up with many brothers did James’s nails, they got painted a maroon and some nails gold.
She also did Sirius’s nails, black for the Black brother.
Sirius then did her eyeliner.
During the last year Marlene had taught him how to do eyeliner and Padfoot has been obsessed since.
They laughed and talked about nothing and everything.
James went up to grab his guitar and so did Marlene, they had been learning how to play together.
She had been playing for years but never really practiced and James had hyperfocused on it for like two weeks, and literally only played.
Remus and Sirius had to quite literally drag him to class.
Minnie shook her head a lot that week, when she saw James writing music instead of doing the reading or exercises during her class. Secretly she was glad he was happy doing something quiet and not distracting Sirius’s which would always leave half the class being distracted.
Chaotic duo, those two.
She would always ask James to come after class to have him perform the transfigurations they were learning that day, he always could do them, quite well too.
After a while, she just let him do his thing, as long as he let the others work. There was no point in trying to get him to listen to each word she spoke, she knew he wouldn’t, and it wasn’t his fault. He was ahead of the class anyway.
James started to play, Marlene quickly knew what he was playing, Sirius also knew, James had sung and played his song a lot in their dorm, trying to perfect it.
“I, I will be king”, Marlene sang.
“And you, you will be queen”, James sang to Sirius.
“Though nothing will drive them away” Sirius sang.
“We can be heroes, just for one day. We can be us, just for one day”, they all sang.
After they finished, they all laughed together and gave each other high-fives.
They were wonderful. If I do say so myself.
Sirius hugged Marlene good-bye, then James and Marlene hugged good-bye, in which James put a note in Marlene's bag: “Have a good day, Mango, hold your head up high”.
James was someone who loved leaving his friends notes for them to find.
He absolutely loved them smiling when they found it. It was a small gesture, but he knew they appreciated it.
Oh, and Mango, it’s simply really Marlene loves Mangos and James found it funny, she too liked the nickname.