How we made fire with furniture
The dining room hosted an unusual party of guests - dwarves. It is a rare sight indeed, perhaps once in a few hundred, maybe thousand, years. This party wasn't like other guests in more ways than just being children of Mahal. They were not nearly as polite as those oft dining in the halls of Imladris. They were unhappy with their food, and I agree with them, I mean really, only salad? Preposterous! Moving on from the subject of this... meal, our company is very, very, loud. They are free with their complaints and with their laughter, not shackled down by the so-called appropriate behavior. That is one of many reasons I like them. Most do not care about social norms, politics, and other unpleasant things. Granted, all other races believe them to only be concerned about their gold and gems, but 'tis another story. Right now, a large portion of the company was eating, however begrudgingly, on their own, Thorin, Balin, Gandalf, Bilbo and Sage were sitting with Lord Elrond and his two sons, Elladan and Elrohir.
Lord of Rivendell is holding Thorin's new sword carefully, he inspects it with great respect.
"This is Orcrist, the Goblin-cleaver. It is a famous blade, it fought in many a war. It was forged by The High Elves of the West, my kin. Use it well." Thus the first blade is given back to its new owner. Gandalf passes another one to Elrond, who surveys the second one. "And this is Glamdring, the Foe-Hammer, sword of the King of Gondolin. These were made in The First Age for Goblin Wars."
Bilbo thoughtfully partly draws his sword, looking over it, considering if it also earned a name.
"I wouldn't bother laddie. This.. this is simply a letter-opener. It hasn't seen battle and weapons are named for great deeds they do in wars."
"Perhaps it hasn't seen battle, yet." In another universe, Bilbo might have been offended, but not this time for he wasn't the hobbit you would expect.
"How did-"
"What about Sage's sword? My apologies, Lord Elrond, I didn't mean to cut you off." A sheepish smile adorned the elder Baggins' face. In his defense, he really does want to know whether his sister's new weapon is as famous as the other two.
"My dear girl, did you also find yourself a blade?" Gandalf's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Come on, how did you not notice that sword?!
"Gandalf, I had it on my back since coming out of the Troll cave. How did it pass your sight?" Oh, Sage asked the same thing. Now, I'm feeling a tad awkward.
Anyway, while the Grey Wizard spluttered, not knowing what to say, Minerva gave The Sword Of Gryffindor to their host and her friend. Elrond examined it, his two sons leaning in, clearly interested in the unfamiliar weapon. It is decorated with red rubies, made of silvery metal, similar to mithril, but not quite, with a name, Godric Gryffindor inscribed on the blade.
"I am not familiar with this sword, nor the name upon it." The elf seems miffed about this, 'tis been a long time since he didn't know something.
"I wasn't expecting you to know. After all, it's a tale from a land and time far away." Says the former transfiguration professor taking back her weapon.
"Could you tell us this tale?" Surprisingly, it is Thorin, who asks this question. Well, perhaps not surprisingly, he is a weapons smith, you know. I should really introduce him to that blue star, once the both of them get here...
"I could." Okay, kitty, think fast about how to spin this. "On one of my adventures, I traveled far to the north. Along the way, I met this person, he went by the name of Albus of the house of Dumbledore. He claimed to be a wizard and I had to believe him after seeing him transform a rock into a bird. He told me he taught at a school of magic, but now is retired and travelling the world. We went together for a while. Once, he weaved a story of a great wizard, one of four who built their school. He was Godric Gryffindor, a great warrior and wizard, who lived a thousand years ago. So often was he compared to a majestic lion, that it eventually became his sigil, and those sorted into his house in school all wore red and gold with roaring lions on their crests. It is said that his sword was forged by Gringotts, one of the most skilled smiths ever known. The metal of the blade is their own creation, called Gringotts' silver." Phew, okay, you passed. Hear the sarcasm? I thought you didn't want people to know about your past life!
"I have never heard of such a tale, nor people in it..." Elrond frowned, deep in thought.
"Apparently, they are very secretive, not many outside their borders knows about them." It isn't even a lie, just not complete. I mean, they are from a different world entirely, but sure.
"When why did this Albus tell you about them and why did you tell us?" There is a reason why Balin is the Royal Advisor. I bet he would have been a Slytherin.
"Because I trust everybody at this table to mean them no harm unless they attack first." Sage shrugged her shoulders; she did trust them and they really couldn't do anything to her first people. "I do not know why Albus had such faith in me." She isn't talking about this imaginary Albus, obviously, she is referring to Headmaster Dumbledore. Someone who wasn't someone she would trust now, but did in the years past.
Before the conversation could progress further, Bofur gets up and starts... singing?
"There's an Inn, there's an Inn.
There's a merry old Inn,
beneath an old grey hill -" Most elves are looking a bit horrified. The food! It's ... Flying! Ha! At least Elladan and Elrohir agree with me.
"- And there they brew a beer so brown,
The Man in The Moon Himself came down
One night to drink his fill - " It's not that bad, this song has life, not like the one you prefer.
"Oh the ostler has a tipsy cat -" A what now?
" -That played a five-stringed fiddle,
And up and down he saws his bow,
Now squeaking high, now purring low,
Now sawing in a middle! - " Fascinating, is it like Bohemian Rhapsody?
" - So The cat on the fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,
A jig that'll wake the dead: -" Don't be rude now, I was enjoying this!
"- He squeaked and he sawed and he quickened the tune
While the Landlord shook the Man in the Moon
'It's after Three!' he said!"
Elrond is terrified at the state of his hall, Gandalf is amused, Bilbo impressed - that was a delightful food fight, Took cousins would be proud, and Sage? Well, the cat animagus is roaring with laughter. I didn't know she could do that! Don't look at me like I'm a fool, you know how stern she is!
"Hey! Miss Baggins! Do you know a song?" Nori? Ahem, he asks Minerva, looking as if he has ulterior motives. Knowing the thief, he does.
"Perhaps I do, perhaps I don't. Either way it wouldn't be as funny as Bofurs."
"Sing! Sing!"
Not as reluctantly as perhaps she should, Minerva stands up and thinks, which song to choose? Elrond only prays to Valar it will not be as ... spirited, as Bofur's. Headmistress knows, she already told them, well, not all, about the wizarding world, she can sing something from home. Something she couldn't do for a while.
"One thousand years ago this story starts.
There were four sorcerers with strong and wise hearts:
Bold Gryffindor from wild moor,
Fair Ravenclaw from glen,
Sweet Hufflepuff from valley broad,
Shrewd Slytherin from fen.-" Not everybody understood what she was singing about, but the emotion in her voice stopped them in their tracks. Now, it isn't Sage before them, it is Minerva McGonagall, who remembers hundreds of her students, and remembers each and every one who died. She hasn't forgotten The Sorting Hat either. After all, she spent many an hour talking with them about what Hogwarts was like in The Founders Times.
"-They had a dream to teach all that they knew
Witches and wizards came far and it grew
'Til a castle stood tall by the shores of a lake
And a thousand years later the magic remains-" Now, even less could comprehend what's happening, but none dared interrupt.
"-Old Hogwarts Sorting Hat sing me a song-" How can a hat sing anything? How much are you betting that this crossed everyone's mind?
"-Speak in my head tell me where I belong
And when things look bad and there's nowhere to run
Unite all the houses and we'll fight as one-" 'Tis a beautiful message, but we know, only after Voldie was gone did Hogwarts stand again in harmony.
"-Brave Godric Gryffindor favoured the strong
Those who had courage and knew right from wrong
And Rowena Ravenclaw taught only the best
So kind Helga Hufflepuff would teach all the rest
But Salazar Slytherin had his own plans
He thought the Muggle-borns didn't understand-"
"What's a muggle-born?" Whispered Kili to Fili. I mean really, you are questioning this part, not anything else?
"-The subtleties of magic and so he devised
The Chamber of Secrets with a monster inside-" And what a monster it was. Minerva still thanks their lucky stars that none of her students died that year. Also, silently, sometimes, with biscuits and tea, curses Dumbledore. That fool. Why couldn't he deal with it, if he was able to send Fawkes where?
"-Unite all the houses and we'll fight as one." They did. It took Voldemort to attack it, but they eventually did.
It is important to say that Lord Elrond offered rooms to the Company, but they, mostly, are dwarves. Thus, they all camped on one of the balconies. And I mean camp, like how could you break chairs and other furniture to make a fire, and when roast, is it considered roasting? Anyway, cook sausages over it?! It's hilarious! So, dwarves are eating, cooking, talking, and whatnot. Our favorite kitty is actually conversing with Dori, an interesting development.
"Oh, I always preferred tea at evenings or with friends. It is always calming to drink a cup after a tiring day."
"I would agree to this, but tea can be drank anytime, anywhere. I see the appeal of drinking with friends, but it's a rare dwarf who likes tea."
"You should visit The Shire more often then, I am sure you could find a few friends there, who appreciate this drink as much as you."
"We'll see how this adventure ends first."
Why are they talking about tea? It's boring! Perhaps I should talk about what Bilbo and Nori are doing. I think they are talking about stealing and spying... One way or another, it would be far more interesting-
"Miss Sage, could you explain the song you sang? What does it mean?" Oh wait, this will be interesting.
"As I told Gandalf, Bilbo, Thorin, Elrond and the twins, there is a kingdom of magic users. The person who weaved the tale of this kingdom to me also explained about their school. It teaches children how to use their magic. In that school, they are divided in four 'houses' named after the founders of it. They left behind a magical hat called The Sorting Hat which determines what house is best suited to what student. Gryffindor for brave and chivalrous, Ravenclaw for witty and curious, Hufflepuff for loyal and hardworking, Slytherin for ambitious and cunning. This song is sung by The Sorting Hat before it starts its duty." Minerva, I really want to hear you coming up with ridiculous excuses, this? This is still nothing.
"But how can a hat sing?" Sweet Ori, 'tis a secret known to only the founders and the one who claims all at the end.
"Magic, I would think. No idea what magic, but magic nonetheless."
"Do you believe it's possible? For there to be a whole kingdom of wizards?"
"Whether it's true or not, the song is beautiful and the tale entertaining."
Not much was said after, nothing of note happened 'till the morning, in which our company was told of the need to stay for a time, so the map and moon runes upon it could be read by our gracious host. Well, not ours, I'm not part of this group, am I?