Presto!
Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs.
What kind of kids eat Armour Hot Dogs?
Fat kids, skinnykids, kids who climb on rocks;
Tough kids, sissy kids;
Even kids with chicken pox.
Love hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs
The dog kids love to bite.
Severus wasn’t squirming.
He made sure to keep absolutely still and steady his breathing as he sat waiting at a table way in the back of the tea shop in Diagon Alley. Deep breaths in and out. In and out. He was trying very very hard to stay calm. To not let his nerves get the better of him as he continued to wait.
His gaze lifted to the clock on the wall behind the teller by the door.
There’s still about ten minutes left. Severus silently berated himself for coming so early. Merlin knows the person he’s waiting for isn’t going to come early, if he even shows up at all. Severus knew that there was a very real possibility that he wouldn’t show.
Its been years since school ended but that doesn’t mean that things between the two of them had been forgotten. The scars were still there, though Severus had been doing his best to try and heal. He’s even started seeing a therapist if you could believe it.
Not a healer, but a therapist.
She was a muggle, came into the apocathery one day with her then soon to be husband. Sheila is her name. Her husband was a wizard and he’d only recently told her about magic, fearing her reaction only to be relieved and pleasantly surprised at her acceptance. That day William, her husband, needed to get a few errands done and decided to take her along with him to Diagon Alley. It was her first full exposure to the wizarding world and personally Severus felt that she had been entirely too excited to see newt entrails in a jar than she should have been.
She was bright and warm and kind and took one look at Severus and just knew that he had a mountain of pain resting right there on his shoulders.
Severus immediately decided that he hated her.
She would come in with her husband over and over again until she eventually managed to convince Severus to have afternoon tea with her. Afternoon tea became weekly chats on the phone and then in person and eventually Severus became her patient. Merlin, she would have made an excellent Slytherin.
Severus can’t prove it, but he’s pretty sure that the whole thing was somesort of carefully orchestrated plan to get more clients into her office.
All the same, he’d been working through… things. Trying to be better. Trying to be happier despite the lifetime of hurt that he’s been dealing with. He was trying to move on.
One of their most recent discussions have entailed Severus dealing with his recent split from Sirius. Sheila had a field day, though of course she’d never admit it, delving into the reasons for why Severus had deemed it fit to jump into a relationship with one of his school bullies. Severus hadn’t been sure at first.
Salazar.
Things with Sirius just went so fast that he never really had the time to question or really think through any of it. It just… happened.
One day they were arguing, the next Sirius was dragging him into broom closets and behind tapestries on the fourth floor to push him against the wall and kiss him senseless. This nonsense somehow managed to carry on even past graduation and despite the many and very vocal protests and complaints from Sirius’ friends.
He talked things through with Sheila and they established the fact that his relationship with the older Black had been quite toxic. Though even Severus knew that much when this whole mess started. It wasn’t healthy it was… Merlin.
It was intense and passionate and raw and they just didn’t know how to stay away from each other. They argued and fought just about every single day but they still couldn’t stay away. Severus tried once. He even moved out of the animagus’ town house and into his own apartment. Sirius tracked him down two days later an effectively dragged him back. This happened about three times until they eventually called it quits.
That happened because, well…
Severus doesn’t know why things suddenly ended.
He came home one day to find his then boyfriend sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at the empty coffee cup before him. Severus asked what was wrong and Sirius said,
“I think… I think we need to end this, Severus.”
“End what?”
“You know what.” The Animagus said finally lifting his gaze to look at the Slytherin and Severus realised that; yes, yes he knows what Sirius means.
It was the strangest thing. They didn’t even argue that time. Severus asked him why and Sirius just rambled on incoherently, not really giving the raven a clear answer.
It was… a shock.
Especially since Severus had just managed to open up his own Apocathery with Sirius’ help. Sirius had just completed his training and was due to start working for the auror force in the next few weeks and Severus had finally managed to start being civil with Potter of all people. Things were going well. They hadn’t even gotten into a real fight in four months and the night before-
The night before… something was different.
They made love the night before in their bed and things were different from how they normally were. Sirius was slow and careful and almost doting, so different from their usual breakneck speed of fucking until neither of them could speak anymore let alone move. It was soft and caring and Severus ended up pulling Sirius in at the end of it and… and he used the “L” word.
“I love you.” Because right at that moment his heart was so full with warmth that he really did feel that he loved the other.
The words left his mouth and Sirius tensed, tremendously. He paused to stare at the other, Severus started to frown only for the older Black to lean in and kiss him roughly and suddenly they were back to mindlessly fucking again.
The next morning Sirius didn’t seem any different from how he usually was and so Severus thought it was fine. Sirius didn’t say ‘I love you’ back but Severus didn’t expect him to. He just wanted to say it and so he did. There were never any boundaries between them, never anything that they just couldn’t say or scream and shout at each other. He didn’t expect Sirius to say it back, though it would have been nice if he had. But Severus wasn’t expecting it.
And then he get back from work and Sirius breaks up with him.
Sirius left the townhouse that night, he thought that it would be best if Severus stayed in the townhouse and he would leave.
Severus hissed at him for treating it like somesort of divorce. Sirius didn’t owe Severus anything and the thought that he was trying to be considerate or whatever the fuck it was that he was doing, irritated Severus in ways that he couldn’t even begin to describe. He told Sirius to drop dead and collected as many things as he could before he left.
He spent the night at the Malfoy manor. Narcissa welcomed him with open arms though she made sure to keep him out of Lucius sight.
Lucius still hadn’t forgiven him for rejecting his offer to join the Dark Lord and running off with the Gryffindor mutt, but Narcissa refused to be told that she couldn’t have her friend over for the night.
Severus made sure to get his own place as soon as possible. He would have gone to stay with Regulus but he knew there was no way possible he could stay for any period of time with Walburga Black still in the house as well. Plus he didn’t want to make things more awkward than they needed to be. Since he and Sirius got together, the older Black had been making more of an effort with his brother and Regulus allowed these efforts.
He didn’t want to put Regulus in a position in which he’d have to choose. Severus already had so few friends, he didn’t want anything to interfere with his friendship with Regulus.
They broke up and unlike all of those other times, Sirius didn’t come looking for him a few days later. Instead he got a letter from the animagus, saying that he didn’t need to worry about paying him back for the loan to open his potions shop. Severus wrote back and told him to sod off. Since the gesture just pissed him off even more.
He ended up getting the money from Narcissa, though he hated having to take the money from the blonde, he decided that he’d rather pay her back than be indebted in anyway whatsoever to Sirius.
Sirius just sent the money back. Severus was fuming at that point, Narcissa then intervened and took the money back to her cousin personally with a request that eh never make any contact with Severus ever again. He never asked her to do that, but Narcissa could be quite the vindictive wench when she wanted to be and has – not so secretly and quite vocally – never approved of Severus’ relationship with Sirius.
Months went by and Severus just tried to move on with his life. About a year later he met Sheila and started with his sessions.
It was a relief.
No one likes being angry. No one likes being filled with hatred and despair and Severus spent so many years just dealing with them and he just… couldn’t anymore.
Sheila helped him work through it all, and for a while, things were going alright. The war began to slow down and He-who-shall-not-be-named went into hiding. Things in the wizarding world seemed to be settling down just as much as Severus’ life was and things really were alright.
Until they weren’t.
It would be another two years after that, that Severus would suddenly receive a wedding invitation.
An invitation for union of Sirius Orion Black and Lilian Evans.
Severus had been shocked.
Just like clockwork Narcissa arrived at his apartment since she’d just received her invitation and was hoping against all hope that Sirius wouldn’t be stupid enough to send one to Severus as well.
She found Severus just staring at the embroidered paper in shock as he sat on the couch in his livingroom.
Things between him and Lily have been quiet since the incident at the lake. There was a long period of time where she wasn’t speaking to him. That only changed after Severus and Sirius started dating. Though even then, they didn’t really talk.
Lily was dating Potter and Severus was doing whatever it is that he was doing with Sirius. It's less that they spent time together and more that they just had the misfortune of being around one another because of their respective partners.
They didn’t talk and his relationship with Potter was mostly hostile until they started to become more civil near the end of his relationship with Sirius.
He and Lily didn’t talk. But still, to find out that she was now engaged to Sirius.
Severus had no idea how to feel.
The last he heard Lily and Potter had moved in together and they were planning on getting married. But now they’re just not?
What on earth could have changed?
A few days later he was out with Regulus, the younger Black was visibly uncomfortable and Severus could guess why. He decided to put the junior out of his misery and told him that he was aware of Sirius’ engagement with Lily and… he was dealing with it.
Regulus sighed, “I swear I didn’t know about any of this, Severus. I’m sorry-“
“Don’t apologise Regulus. There’s nothing you need to be sorry for.” He said taking a deep breath as he lifted a cup of tea to his lips to take a sip, “Besides, its been two years since our relationship ended. Whatever your brother is doing with his time has nothing to do with me.”
“Are you going, to the wedding? Sirius talked about inviting you but I didn’t think he’d actually go through with it. Merlin, he’s such an idiot.”
Severus let out a soft scoff, “I… don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
His first impulse when he received the invitation was to incinerate the piece of paper and send the ashes right back to Sirius but…
He had time to cool down. He had time to vent a little with Narcissa and then he had time to speak with Sheila and Severus… he didn’t know how he felt.
“Whatever Sirius and Lily are thinking right now, isn’t important right now Severus.” She started with a pause, “What matters is what you’re thinking and how you feel about all of this. It would be very easy for me to tell you not to go to the wedding. That going could cause more harm than good and may end up making you feel worse in the long run but I can’t make that decision for you. You need to take some time to yourself, decide on what you want to do and if you’re ready to go to the wedding of two people that you have such a complicated history with. There unfortunately isn’t a right or wrong answer here. You could go and things may get worse. You could not go and lose out on an opportunity for closure, but whatever it is that you decide to do it needs to be for you; not for Lily or Sirius or to get back at either of them or prove anything to anyone.”
“What good reason could I have for going?”
“To get closure. To have that final chapter of peace and close the book on the situation once and for all. But you may not be ready for closure Severus and I want you to hear me when I say that. You need to be sure. Do this for yourself or don’t do it at all if you’re not ready. Remember what we say, there’s no shame in admitting that you’re not O.K. There’s no shame in admitting that you’re not ready to deal with this wedding either.”
Severus shrugged, “I haven’t decided yet.”
Regulus’ lips pursed, “I think it may be best if you don’t come.”
“Regulus-“
The younger man reached over the table to take his hand, “I just don’t want to see you hurt Severus.”
“I’ll be fine. We just broke up, I’m not some fragile flower and Sirius didn’t break me.” Severus took a deep breath, “The relationship simply ended and… I’ve come to realise that it was for the best.” He tried to give the younger man a slight smile as he squeezed his hand. “Regulus I’m fine. I don’t know if I’ll be going to the wedding yet, but if I do, I promise you everything will be fine.”
“As long as you’re sure Severus.”
“I am.”
The younger man let out another sigh as he settled back into his seat. “At least you’re taking this better than Potter.”
“What do you mean?”
Regulus shook his head, “I’ve been around for some of the wedding preparations. Its how I know Sirius planned to invite you. From what they’ve told me Potter and Lily separated about a year ago. He hasn’t been around her since, till a few months ago when Potter showed up at Siri’s place and threw a fit. Apparently they were keeping their relationship a secret and he only just found out about it. It was an absolute mess, apparently afterwards Potter requested to be reassigned to a different partner at work.”
Severus shook his head as Regulus continued, stirring some more sugar into his tea. “Anyway, as it turns out they sent an invitation to Potter as well. Sirius’ idiotic attempt at salvaging their friendship I suppose. Unfortunately, Potter didn’t take it well and decided to respond by pranking Sirius.”
Severus rolled his eyes, “What did the moron do?”
“Between you and I, Severus, I personally believe that it was quite a spectacular way to send an RSVP.” Regulus scoffed, “He sent an envelope, which once opened released thousands of copies of the invitation into the room. All of them charmed into howlers and all of them swarming through the house reciting the invitation over and over again before they all burst into flames.”
“Did he set the house on fire?”
“Almost, but no. Lily’s hair got singed and she had to cut it shorter. Sirius’ bed was destroyed though I’m not sure if that’s what Potter intended to do or if it was just a happy accident.”
Severus scoffed as Regulus continued, “But the pièce de résistance, had to be when they discovered than one invitation hadn’t burst into flames. You remember that poster Sirius had framed in the livingroom, it was signed by some muggle singer-“
“Potter gave it to Sirius on his twentieth birthday. He loved it.” Severus recited mindlessly and Regulus nodded, “Right, well, the one invitation that survived ended up stuck to the poster with a permanent sticking charm, with the RSVP box checked and a note at the bottom that read ‘I can’t wait for the wedding’.”
Severus shrugged, “Impressive. Potter should have been Slytherin.”
“That’s what I said, Sirius didn’t seem to agree.” Severus chuckled and his friend smiled, “This should be quite the wedding. Do you have a date yet?”
“Regulus, I’m not sure if I’m going yet.”
“But if you do go, we should go together.”
Severus frowned, “He didn’t make you his best man? He said he’d want to if he ever got married.” Severus said that last part quietly though Regulus either didn’t notice or didn’t care.
“He didn’t ask me and honestly, I’m grateful. The less involvement I have in all of this the better.” Regulus said dismissively, “He asked Lupin.”
Severus nodded and Regulus reached out to take his hand again, “C’mon, it’ll be fun. We can make snide remarks about Lily’s dress and how their children are going to be half mutt half mudblood.”
“Regulus.” Severus scolded, “You know how I feel about that word.”
“You know how I feel about that girl. She already broke your heart before, I hate to think that she’s found an opportunity to do it again.”
“Regulus-“
“I know you cared for Sirius despite everything, I’m only sorry that he’s such an idiot that he couldn’t see it for himself.”
“I…” Severus took a deep breath. He’s been learning to be more honest about his emotions, to not fear rejection especially after what happened with Sirius. Its been hard but, he really does want to get better. “I did… care for him. But it’s over now and I’m trying to move past it. And as for Lily, we stopped being friends a long time ago although I can’t say that I don’t care for her, I have no say in what she chooses to do with her life.”
Regulus huffed, “Severus-“
“I’m not going with you as your date. I’d like to avoid starting any drama and we both know that will happen if we walk in there together.”
Regulus scoffed as he let go of Severus’ hand to pick up his tea again, “Sirius will throw a temper tantrum, because he refuses to let go of the idea that you and I were involved back in school?”
“Something like that.”
“I think that’s all the more reason to go together. For once we should take a page out of Potter’s book.”
“You mean we should be petty and vindictive in order to try and ruin my ex’s wedding day?”
“I prefer to think of it as finding some joy in a day of misery.”
Severus laughed, “You can’t dislike Lily this much. I told you not to involve yourself in any of my silly disputes. Just because she and I aren’t friends doesn’t mean you couldn’t get along with your soon to be sister in-law.”
Regulus leaned back in his seat and crossed one leg over the other, “I refuse.”
“Regulus, you’re an adult.”
“Severus, she’s a harpy. What Sirius sees in her is beyond me, they don’t even seem like they get along they’re always at each other’s throats.”
“They are?”
“No, not the way you and Sirius were always at each other’s throats. With you two it always seemed like sexual tension more than anything else. With the amount of times you two broke his bed, I think sexual tension is quite accurate.”
Severus almost choked on his tea, “We didn’t break… once. I tell you that we were going on an errand to replace the bedframe once and you and Narcissa decide-“
“My point is.” Regulus said cutting him off, “You were arguing but Sirius always looked like he was enjoying it. Now he just looks miserable.”
Severus paused at that. He almost tried to think back to their relationship. He almost started comparing it to Regulus’ description of Sirius relationship with Lily, but he quickly stopped himself.
He’s moving forward.
“He’s marrying her, isn’t he?” Severus tried not to sound bitter. He’s moving forward. “You know what your brother is like, he wouldn’t get married unless it was something he wanted to do.”
“Or he had no choice.” Regulus remarked, “My money’s on Lily being pregnant, it’s the only reason I can see why he’d go through with this.”
Severus shook his head, “Lily wouldn’t marry someone just because she was pregnant.” He thought back to conversations they used to have back in school, before they stopped being friends. “Lily’s parents are very supportive. They’d help her take care of a baby if she had one out of wedlock and she isn’t afraid of adoption either. She spoke of it plenty of times when we were younger.”
“Must you ruin all of my well thought theories?” Regulus asked with a pout.
Severus shook his head, “Support your brother. You know he’s not good with this sort of thing and he’ll need support with everything that’s going on.”
Regulus paused to look at him, “You still care about him, don’t you?”
Severus’ hands clenched around his cup, he took in a deep breath and then let it out.
“Its over between us, but that doesn’t mean I should waste my time hating him for what happened. I’m just trying to move on Regulus.”
Regulus nodded, “Well, if I can’t be your date… then you should take Rosier, that’ll drive Siri mental.”
“Regulus, I said-“
“Oh you’ll be doing it for me. You might not want to be petty, but I do. Or Potter! bloody hell Sirius would go completely insane! Maybe even Lily as well.”
“Regulus-“
“Maturity is overrated Severus.”
Now, its three months later. Just two months before the wedding and Severus sits waiting in a tea shop in Diagon Alley. Waiting for-
“Severus, you’re early.”
Severus looked up to the man walking up towards him.
Tall, messy windswept raven hair and bright hazel eyes behind the frame of round spectacles.
Severus’ eyes snapped over to the clock on the wall before he spoke, “So are you.”
He actually came.
Potter shrugged, “No point in being late.”
He sat down in the vacant chair in front of Severus… or rather he almost did. The auror seemed to hesitate before he quickly leaned over the table to press a kiss on Severus’ lips. The potioneer tensed tremendously for a moment before James pulled back and settled into his seat.
“Sorry I just… well, I wanted to so.” James cleared his throat as he shifted a bit awkwardly in his seat, “Its been a while since I saw you. I wasn’t expecting you to owl but I’m glad you did.”
“You are?”
“Well, yeah.” James gave a sheepish grin, “You could make a guy feel really insecure leaving the way you did. We didn’t really get to talk much before you left.”
Severus felt his face flush ever so slightly as he touched the side of the teacup before him.
“I… apologise for leaving so suddenly.”
“Its fine, I get it. After everything with school and all… it was a bit weird wasn’t it? I don’t regret it or anything it was just…” James took a in a breath, “Considering everything, I get it. It was weird. I don’t blame you for leaving, but I think we should talk about it at least.”
“I agree.” Severus said softly. James smiled.
“Yeah, so how’ve you been? I know its only been about a month but it feels like a long time.”
“I’ve been fine. Things at the shop are going well… I’m fine.”
“Good.”
“And you?”
“More or less the same, works keeping me busy but I’m good too.”
James let out a soft sigh as he smiled, “So, about what happened, I was thinking that maybe we could give this a shot if you want-“
“Give it a shot?”
“I meant that maybe we could start going out. Only if you want to.” James chuckled awkwardly, “I mean, between you and me; I prefer to take someone for dinner first before we get to shagging. I know we’ve never gotten along but… last time was great right? So I was thinking that we could try and, go as slow as you want if you’re up to trying it because... I've been thinking about school and what it was like and I'm not sure if I ever really-"
“I’m pregnant.” Severus blurted out and James stopped to stare at him.
“What?”
“I said I’m pregnant.”
“Pregnant... with what? Anticipation?”
“What- … No, I’m pregnant.” Severus said clearly, “With a baby.”
“A baby?”
“Yes, a baby.”
“Whose baby?”
Severus felt his eye begin to twitch, “Yours.”
“Mine?!” James squeaked, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“How can you be sure?”
“I don’t know, call it a hunch or maybe I know because you’re the only person that I’ve had sex with since Sirius and I broke up two years ago.”
James’ mouth was open in a gape, “I… you’re sure you’re pregnant?”
“Oh dear Merlin.” He got up from his seat and reached for his cloak, “Goodbye, Potter-“
“No, Severus wait!” The auror said as he quickly grabbed Severus’ hand to pull him back to his seat, “I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I just… I need a moment to process this. But don’t go. Please.”
Severus stopped to stare at the other for a moment before he went back to his seat. James let out a deep breath.
“Thank you.”
Severus let out a barely audible sigh, “For your information I had the pregnancy test done four times with two different healers to confirm it. They said I’m about five weeks along now. And the only person I slept with five weeks ago was-“
“Me… I-“ James looked away and cursed softly under his breath, “That night at my place.”
“Yes.”
“O.K… O.K.”
Just then the waitress that served Severus earlier stopped by the table. “Afternoon sir. Would you like something to dri-“
“Whiskey. The strongest you have.” James said shortly and Severus rolled his eyes when the girl blinked at him.
“Just bring it, please and just a refill for myself.” He said gesturing to his cup and the girl nodded as she took his things away.
“Right away.”
It was quiet between them with James staring at Severus while Severus kept his eyes on the window watching as people passed by outside. Once their drinks arrived James immediately reached out to down the whole glass and ordering the girl to just leave the bottle, Severus resisted the urge to huff in frustration as he just fixed his tea.
“Alright.” James said after drinking about half of the second glass, “You’re pregnant.”
“Yes.”
“And it's mine.”
“Yes.”
“Alright… uhm.” Another gulp, “I just uhm, I wasn’t expecting this, there aren’t a lot of carriers out there and I didn’t know that you-“
“I didn’t either.”
“You didn’t.”
“Do you really think I would have let you near me if I knew I was capable of getting pregnant?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means….” Severus took a deep breath, “I simply mean that the timing and circumstances are awkward, for both of us. I’m sure you’d agree.”
James deflated, “Yeah…”
“Not to mention, this is an issue that never came up between Sirius and I despite-“ Severus cut himself off to take yet another deep breath, “The point is, I’m just as surprised as you are.”
“Right.”
Potter said nothing, still looking shocked to death. Severus shook his head.
“Just so you know, I plan on keeping it.”
“You do-“
“And you don’t have to worry about the child after it's born, I won’t require any assistance. The shop has been doing very well. You won’t have to concern yourself with its well-being.” He explained simply, James frowned at him.
“I won’t have to concern – what do you mean?”
“I mean that you don’t have to worry about being burdened with this pregnancy. I plan on caring for my child on my own-“
“Your child? I thought it was mine as well.”
“It-“ Severus blinked, “It technically is-“
“So why are you…” James rolled his eyes hard, “Oh bloody hell, you’re taking care of it alone?! You plan on keeping me away from it?!”
"That's not what I said."
"Then what are you saying?!"
Severus gave the other a very dull look, James was still glaring at him until he rolled his eyes yet again.
"Oh, really? If I still had that much of a problem with you, we wouldn't have ended up in my apartment five weeks ago." The auror huffed, "I... If you're keeping it, then I don't want to be left out."
Severus paused, looking down at his teacup not saying a word. "I'll be honest, I didn't expect that you would want to."
James looked up at him, seeming like he was very close to rolling his eyes again only to pause at the look on the raven's face. "I... I've always wanted children. I've never made that a secret. The circumstances just... aren't exactly what I had planned for."
Severus nodded, "You expected to have a child with Lily."
"Lily doesn't want kids."
He blinked, James simply refilled his glass as he continued. "Its one of the reasons why things didn't work out."
"Oh," Severus didn't know what else to say. His lips pulled into a frown, "When we were still in school, she mentioned that she'd like to have children-"
"Yeah, well, things change don't they? Or maybe she just didn't want to have kids with me." James muttered that last bit before shaking his head, he looked up at the potioneer, lips pursing for a brief second before-
"I know things between us were rough before. But if you're having this child then I want to be involved as well."
"Very well. We will need to discuss your exact involvement though. I'd planned on handling this situation on my own, but if you want to be involved I'd-"
"Can we just..." James sighed, downing his glass before he set it down, "This is a lot to take in all at once."
"Fine." Severus nodded.
"I'm sorry."
The raven scoffed at that one, who knew James Potter knew how to apologise?
"Don't apologise. To be honest, I think I'd like a bit of time to myself to process as well. I'll owl you in a few days and we can discuss this further." He got up to leave, taking out a few coins down to pay for his tea only for James to stop him short.
"It's fine, I've got it."
"I don't-"
"Just, let me, alright? I got you pregnant, the least I could do is pay for your tea, right?" He joked weakly and Severus frowned at him. The auror sighed, "Too soon, I know. Just go, before this gets worse."
Severus rolled his eyes, "Goodbye, Potter."
He started to make his way out of the shop only to pause just as he opened the door. The Auror had filled his glass up yet again, shoulders slumping as he dragged a hand through his hair. Severus sighed again.
In all honesty, he took the news far better than Severus thought he would.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It happened five weeks ago, while Severus was shopping for a wedding gift.
He hadn't planned on going to the wedding. He'd been thinking about it, but never really let the idea of going fully settle in his mind.
He made the decision, while making his way through a muggle supermarket one day. He just wanted to pick up a few things, only to walk through the appliance isle and stop at the machine he saw sitting on the top rack, in the clearance section of the isle.
The Presto Hotdogger.
A hotdog cooking machine that could supposedly cook up to sixteen dogs at the exact same time. Its glossy white package called out to Severus and had him staring at the box for what felt like eons until he picked it off the shelf and made his way to the check out counter.
It was - in the worst and absolutely most disgustingly sentimental way - the perfect gift.
When they were younger, Severus used to spend time at the Evans house. They had a television and Severus used to love the days when he and his best friend would curl up beneath a blanket and mindlessly singalong to jingles of the advertisements or giggle and frown at Mrs Evans stories. Lily's favourites were always the American Ads. They were unbearably catchy and easy to learn, Severus would suffer for weeks from the earworms he'd develop from whatever jingle Lily effectively forced him to memorise.
One of their favourites had been the Armour hotdog song. They used to drive Petunia absolutely mad with that one, singing it so often that even Mr Evans ended up humming the tune at the end of the week.
If Lily still remembered all that, if she even still cared, then he thought that she'd love the gift.
As for Sirius, he adores terribly kitchy muggle things. Toys and trinkets that have no real use, he'd love the gift. He'd probably rip the box open on the first night and demand that they immediately use it. Severus could almost feel his stomach turn at the idea of eating nothing but hotdogs twenty days in a row.
It was the perfect gift.
So perfect, that Severus nearly found himself breaking down into tears outside of the supermarket just after buying the stupid thing. His ex-best friend is getting married to his ex-partner. Isn't that just the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard of?
Severus wanted to cry. Instead he decided to just get on with his day and... break down later.
If he's actually going to the wedding then he'll need a real gift. Something a bit more mature than the Presto Hotdogger, something that says 'congratulations' in a detached grown up way that was tasteful yet practical and didn't at all convey the inner turmoil and despair he's dealing with.
Severus headed to Diagon Allley in the hopes of finding something suitable and found himself at a store that had just the tasteful-yet-detached-maturity he was looking for.
That's when he ended up running into Potter.
It was a strange moment.
Apparently, he was looking for a wedding gift as well.
For once, the other looked almost as miserable as Severus felt and the conversation began.
"You're going to the wedding? I'm surprised Sirius had the nerve to invite you."
They were standing in an isle between the charmed vases of stained glass that seemed to automatically refill itself with a fresh batch of flowers, a different vase for every flower imaginable. And lamps with shades made of fairy silk and elf made porcelain, once lit the flames on the lamps could turn into any color you wanted.
"I'm surprised he had the nerve to invite you." Severus said standing a bit awkwardly beside the man. School ended years ago, but things were never really friendly between the two of them. Again, it's only near the end of his relationship with Sirius that they began to be civil with one another. He felt awkward around the Auror, mostly because of the circumstances that they've currently found themselves in. With each of their ex-lovers now partnering up with each other.
It was odd.
Under normal circumstances, he may have tried to have a go at Potter. Mock him for finally driving Lily away, for being duped by his own best friend. But he's aware of their situation. If Potter chose to snap back at him, he'd be able to make a much deeper cut than anything that the Slytherin could come up with.
He drove Lily away years ago and now he's driven Sirius away as well. Severus was still working through his past, still trying to break down his insecurities. Having Potter mock him the way he used to back at school, wouldn't help at all.
So, he'll be civil, besides, Severus has no reason to really try to antagonise Potter. At least not at that very moment. Potter looked miserable enough as is.
He was dressed well, clean clothes of a quality that is expected of an heir from a pureblood family. He didn't look like he was skipping any meals and there were no circles around his eyes. But the attempted smile that the other gave him was weak at best, it didn't reach his eyes. And the usual confidence that usually seemed to radiate from the Auror's core was completely absent as he stood with his shoulder's slouched, hands shoved in his pockets as he stood beside the potioneer.
Potter scoffed, "Sirius has always been stupid. I guess it just took this mess to show me how much."
Severus gave him a very dry look, "You don't mean that."
"No. No, I do." He shook his head, "You of all people should agree with me for once. After what happened in sixth year."
Severus looked away.
Sixth year. The Shrieking Shack incident.
"Sixth year was a long time ago, he apologised for it, tried to make it up to me." Severus sighed, "If anyone's the stupid one, I am for forgiving him."
Potter frowned at him, "Can I ask you something?"
"What?"
"Why didn't you and Lily ever make up?"
Severus sucked in a deep breath.
"You forgave Sirius for almost killing you. How come-"
"That's a question you'll need to ask Lily. I tried to apologise, she rejected my apology and then proceded to ignore me."
Potter was still frowning before he looked away, "She's a vengeful sort, isn't she?"
Severus let out a startled laugh, "Vengeful? I wouldn't call her vengeful. If anything she's-"
Severus stopped since he didn't know how to finish that sentence. How would he describe his ex-best friend? When he was younger he would have used the words confident, strongwilled, headstrong... a little stubborn but not in a negative way, more dedicated, more focused, more...
'Self-righteous'
Regulus' voice slipped into his head right then and Severus frowned to himself. Potter seemed to be done waiting for him to finish his sentence.
"Want to know why we broke up?" He asked with a wry smile.
Severus blinked, surprised that Potter would want to discuss something like that with him of all people. But a part of him did want to know, Part of him was insanely curious. "I... I wasn't even aware that you had, not until I received the invitation."
"Among other things," Potter shrugged, "We'd been fighting a lot but the big fight had to do with our elf."
"Your elf?"
"My parents sent us one, once we moved in together. Lily got upset, she thought I asked them to get us an elf. I tried to explain that I didn't and owning elves is normal in the magical world, receiving one as a house warming gift isn't strange at all." Potter dragged a hand over his face, "She freaked out."
Severus paused, "I can't say I'm surprised."
Potter let out a humourless scoff, "We couldn't send it back to my parents, it wouldn't make much of a difference. I tried to explain that the elf would be better off with us than if we just... threw it out into the world on its own. Unclaimed elves hardly know what to do with themselves. She was furious, didn't let it go and eventually she left."
Severus didn't know what to say, "I-"
"I was relieved."
"What?"
Potter wasn't looking at him, just stared out blankly in front of him, "I was relieved, at first."
The raven was back to frowning, "Why are you telling me all this?"
Potter looked at him and let out a scoff, "I'm not really sure, if I'm being honest." And then he swallowed, "Would you like to get something to drink?"
"Excuse me?"
The auror pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "The Cauldron isn't too far from here. Let me buy you a drink."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't like you." Severus hissed, eyes narrowed in a slight glare, hoping to finally bring all of this strangeness to an end only for Potter to crack a smile.
"Good. It'll me good to be around someone who won't try to coddle me." Potter said letting out a slight sigh, "Moony's been the most annoying sod for days since the invitations went out and every one else keeps walking on eggshells around me. It'll be nice to just feel normal for once."
"No."
"I'll let you talk about what a bastard Sirius is, if you like."
Severus gave him a dry look, folding his arms around his chest. "I'm quite sure that at this point, my calling him a bastard will be more for your benefit than mine."
"C'mon, I'll even let you by me a drink."
"And I would want to spend money on you because?"
"It can be a late birthday present." Potter shrugged, looking around the store, "You used to give me all sorts if interesting potions for my birthdays before."
"Only because I felt obligated to do so, since I was in a relationship with your best friend at the time." Severus snapped back.
"Well, all my best friend sent me this time was an invitation for his wedding with my ex-girlfriend."
Severus stopped, dark eyes widened a bit before he shut them and let out a sigh and hissed.
"Idiot."
"I know, right?" Potter then gave him a slight smile, "Do you pity me enough to buy me a drink now?"
"No." Severus took in a deep breath and silently let it out, "I made the mistake of forgiving one of my school bullies once before. I won't make that mistake again."
"Who said anything about forgiveness? I'm not trying to apologise to you, Snape."
"Then what are you trying to do?"
"I want to share a drink... with someone who understands." Potter said plainly. "So, let me buy you a drink... you can insult me as much as you want. I just want someone to drink with."
Severus opened his mouth. The word at the tip of his tongue was no. His mind was saying no, but the word refused to leave his mouth he ended up shutting his eyes before he turned to head towards the door.
"One drink."
Potter perked up and grinned as he quickly caught up with the potioneer.
"Great! You know, normally you're such a difficult git, for a second I thought you'd say no-"
"Keep running insulting me and I will." Severus hissed just as they got to the door, only to stop when Potter quickly reached out to open the door for him. He looked up to frown at the other before simply letting out a huff as he walked through.
"On my best behaviour, I promise."
Severus gave into the urge to roll his eyes just as the auror followed behind him, the door swinging shut behind him.