Chapter 1
Shit.
James fucked up.
The hazel eyed wizard was tense as he sat at the kitchen table, staring down at the cup of coffee that he’s had in front of him since he sat down at the table – he doesn’t even remember – how long ago.
Lily sat across from him at the table, sipping on her tea just after munching down the last bite of toast on her plate. Her long red hair falling around her shoulders, almost glowing in the light of the morning sun coming in through the window, warm green eyes lazily flickering over the newspaper in her hand. The strap of her nightdress had slipped down her shoulder onto her smooth skin. She glanced up at him just then, a lovely rosy flush rising to her cheeks when she caught him staring at her before she quickly looked away.
“What?” She asked crossing one leg over the other as she turned to face him in her seat and gave him a soft smile, “Staring is rude you know.”
A joke.
James let out a half-hearted laugh as he brought his hands up to the sides of the cup before him, “It’s uhm…”
The dark dark brown brew in his cup almost seemed to be mocking him.
“James? Something wrong?” Lily asked, her lips pulling into a slight frown and James forced himself to look up at her and he gave a smile.
“It’s nothing really.” He cleared his throat, “I’ll be going over to see my parents in a bit, not sure how long I’ll be.”
“Oh, does this have anything to do with last night’s ritual thing?”
“I… yeah, yeah it does.”
That stupid stupid ritual!
Lily arched a brow at him, “What was that all about anyway? You didn’t say anything before you locked yourself in the guest bedroom. Your mum wouldn’t say anything about it when I asked.”
James swallowed hard, “It’s-It’s a tradition. Pureblood stuff.”
Lily’s lips pursed in displeasure, “And you can’t tell me about it?”
“Potter magix. It’s sort of private. I’m supposed to talk to Mum and Dad about it before discussing it with anyone else. That’s why I’m going over.” James sighed, “Again, I’ll be gone most of the day. You said you’ll be visiting Petunia for the day, right?”
“Hmm.” Lily hummed, “Mum wants to see us both, something about the house.”
James nodded, “Good. I guess I’ll just… see you when I get back.”
The redhead’s frown grew, “James, are you sure you’re alright?”
She asked as she set her tea down and James couldn’t help but let his eyes track the movement. Track her hands as she set the cup down beside the plate with her right hand before tapping the edge of the plate with her fingers on the left. He stared at her left hand, the one with a golden band with an emerald gem wrapped around her ring finger.
It gleamed in the morning light; glittered and shone so brightly he felt like it was mocking him even more than the coffee in his mug, right at that moment.
James shook his head, “Really, I’m fine.”
He fucked up.
Two days ago; James celebrated his eighteenth birthday.
It was a happy day full of laughter and joy with his friends and family.
Yesterday, was the day after his eighteenth birthday. As per tradition for all those born from the house of Potter, he was occupied. He locked himself in the guestroom and spent the entirety if the day casting spell after spell from the old weathered journal that his father gave him. By the time that night fell and the moon was full he was done and ready to commence the last bit of the ritual.
This ritual was one that all those with Potter blood were required to perform.
Growing up, Fleamont and Euphemia made sure to teach James everything about his wizarding heritage and bloodline traditions. They taught him about everything, except the soulmate ritual. Why? Because they thought they had time.
Their son was impulsive, brash, a bit impatient yes; but not reckless, not impulsive to the point of folly they thought. They thought that they’d have plenty of time to work up to the ritual. That when his eighteenth birthday came around, they’d be able to explain it all; lay it all out for him and he’d be able to do the ritual without any cause for concern.
Unfortunately for Fleamont and Euphemia, James spent the majority of the year away from them. James had changed, developed into a slightly different person from the responsible, thoughtful young man they thought him to be. And so, they received the shock of their lives when James came home that Easter Holiday of his seventh year not with a girlfriend but with a fiancé.
Yes, it was a shocking moment. A heart stopping moment. Euphemia had had to brace herself on the table in the middle of the parlour room when she saw the ring that James bought for the Evans girl. It was beautiful really. A gold band with thin golden twists curled around it, a single emerald gem to match her eyes surrounded with diamonds around the square shape. It was lovely.
A lovely, horrible horrible wake-up call.
James’ parents were happy that their son found love and, it wasn’t like there was anything inherently wrong with the Evan’s girl it’s just that…
This isn’t how it’s supposed to go.
Fleamont himself didn’t marry until his nineteenth birthday, a year after he conducted the ritual himself. When he married Euphemia, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was who he was meant to be with. He knew, that she was his soulmate, that he was making the right choice but then James-
Merlin, they almost stopped breathing.
They asked Lily to give them a moment alone, as politely as they could manage in their shock and then waited for their son to explain himself.
James’ explanation was simple.
He loved Lily. He wanted to be with Lily. So he’s going to marry Lily.
James’ parents then tried to explain why James should reconsider his engagement to Lily.
Years ago, much too long for any living descendant of the Potter clan to remember a curse was placed on the Potter bloodline. Halcyon Potter, supposedly one of the ancestors had been quite the libertine. Constantly going from one lover to the next without a care for the carnage and destruction that he left behind. Not caring how many hearts he broke or what happened to those broken hearts once he went on his merry way.
Apparently, this ancestor made the mistake of breaking the heart of an incredibly powerful witch named Priscilla, before simply moving on and marrying some young noble girl despite his many promises to marry Priscilla. And so, she decided to repay his carelessness in kind by casting a spell on him and all his future descendants.
She thought it quite fitting. Halcyon Potter was so fond of promising the moon and the stars above to his conquests. Of proclaiming his everlasting love and claiming that each and every single one of the wixen that he tried to bed were his soulmate… until he bedded them and then simply went on his way. He did the same to her, whispering in her ear about how she must have been made for him and only him, how the stars aligned to bring him his perfect match and how they’d be together forever.
The bastard
So the scorned witch cursed him.
Every member of the Potter clan must find and wed their one true soulmate. By the age of twenty, which is the age at which Priscilla gave her heart to Halcyon only to have it stomped on and tossed away.
By the age of twenty, every Potter must have found and married their one true soulmate. If they do not find their true soul mate, if they choose to marry any other then they will suffer a horrible fate. The stars will align, the forces of the universe will converge and horrible tragedy and despair will descend upon them and they will meet their end before the age of twenty-one.
Halcyon Potter and his darling wife, died less than two months before his twenty-first birthday. Due to a horrible series of events that even the elders of the family could not comprehend. It was as if lady magic herself had cursed them with misfortune until they both eventually reached their untimely demise. Not too long after that, they would find out about Priscilla and the curse she put on the family and so contingencies were put in place to combat this horrible curse, since she herself could not remove it.
The curse was placed on Halcyon Potter and since Halcyon was dead, there was no way to reverse it, the spell was locked into place.
Yes, contingencies were put into place, spells were developed and eventually a ritual was created.
On the eighteenth birthday of every Potter heir, that heir must lock themselves in a room and cast the series of spells developed all those years ago. These spells would help the heir identify and find their one true soulmate, allowing them the opportunity to save themselves and find their one true destined.
Fleamont and Euphemia tried to explain. James was shocked, he almost didn’t believe them until Fleamont explained that he had done the same ritual in order to find Euphemia before marrying her. His grandfather Charlus did the same and married his grandmother Dorea, and so on and so forth. James was stunned.
They tried to convince him to wait before marrying Lily. Wait until the ritual was done. Yes he did seem to love Lily. Yes, they seemed like the perfect couple-
“But just wait, just for a bit Jimmy.” His mother pleaded, “If Lily really is your soul mate then waiting a few more months couldn’t hurt could it? We just want you to confirm.”
But James was stubborn. James didn’t want to wait.
Lily is his soul mate. He’s known that since the moment that they met on the train in first year. Waiting was pointless and with the war looming over everyone’s heads waiting would be purely stupid. His parents were being silly, absolutely ridiculous. This whole curse thing couldn’t be true. As for the ritual, well…
They had their way of finding love and happiness and he has his.
There was no reason to wait.
So he didn’t.
He married Lily three months after graduation. They had a lovely honeymoon and soon after started their lives together.
That first year was… rough. An adjustment.
What, with the war and all. James had his auror training and Lily was still adjusting to her position as the new lady Potter. Things were suddenly less simple than they were when they were in school. But they weren’t terrible or anything. Things were fine.
And then he turned eighteen.
On his eighteenth birthday, James cast the spells.
He hadn’t wanted to but his mother insisted.
If he insisted on getting married despite their warnings then he had to at least do the ritual. Just to confirm, to fully put their fears at rest.
So he did.
The day after his eighteenth, James locked himself inside of the guestrooms in the house he shared with Lily and cast the spells. One after the other. Groaning and growling in annoyance since the entire thing seemed just so stupid. He was taking a day away from training to perform some silly ritual that probably wouldn’t make any difference either way.
But he still did it and by midnight all of the spells had been completed.
The final part of the ritual entailed casting the patronus spell and then sending it off to find your soul mate.
Absolutely ridiculous.
James had let out a bark of laughter before he sent Prongs on his way. The stag’s head had given a tilt as it stared back at his caster just as James spoke.
“Apparently, you’re supposed to find my soulmate for me.” Prongs just looked at him and James sighed, “Well go on, Lily’s probably asleep though so you best not wake her.” Prongs just kept staring and James rolled his eyes, “Find my destined.”
The stag nodded and stomped its hoof before taking off… out the wall leading to the garden.
James blinked.
Well, maybe it’s going to run about for a bit before going back to Lily.
Next he had to lie down on the bed and close his eyes. He had to sleep.
After a long day of wasted time James didn’t mind that bit. He got on the bed and quickly fell into a deep sleep.
…
…
He fucked up.
The ritual was supposed to work in two ways.
First it would show you your soulmate, who it is and where to find them. Second it would show you a potential future if you do not find and then bond with your soul mate.
Pretty straight forward and went pretty much just the way that his parents said it would.
He had a dream of his soul mate, who it was and where they were. And then he saw a future in which he doesn’t find and then bond with his soul mate before his twentieth birthday.
James woke at dawn, covered in sweat and breathing hard. His skin was pale and his eyes darted around him in fear and shock.
Sweet Merlin.
He fucked up.
He got up, took a shower to try and drag himself back to reality. To wash away the memories of everything that he saw in his dreams, the dreams of-
James looked up at Lily, he swallowed hard and then looked back down to the cup before him. It’s just been sitting there in front of him since he got out of the shower and made himself a cup that morning.
Lily came in about two hours after he sat down. He hadn’t even noticed the time go by as he stared into nothing. His memories from the night before coming back to him in horrifyingly vivid detail.
She kissed him on the cheek. He nearly jumped out of his skin. She laughed, asked him if he was alright. He smiled and told her that he just didn’t sleep well. She made herself toast and tea and then settled down to eat.
They’re still at the table. James kept looking over towards her. Towards his wife, Lily Evans Potter and he felt-
James got up.
“I should get going.”
Lily blinked, “I… so soon.”
“I just need to talk to Mum and Dad. I… I’ll see you later.”
“Alright.”
He left his cup on the table and Lily just watched him as he left the kitchen headed straight towards the bedroom.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
James arrived at the Potter manor about twenty minutes later. He used the floo. His mother and father were waiting for him when he came through. Euphemia was wearing a bright smile and Fleamont simply kept his hand on his wife’s lower back as they waited for their son to come through.
The floo roared to life, James was left behind just after they died away. Euphemia beamed.
“Oh James, I’m so happy for-“
She stopped.
She stopped because of the look on his face. That lost, scared, confused look that she hasn’t seen on her son since he was a child and she froze.
“Oh dear.”
Fleamont had tensed tremendously, “I’m assuming things didn’t go… as planned.”
James stepped out of the floo onto the hearth, he opened his mouth and then shut it again. Opened it again and his voice cracked as he spoke.
“I… I fucked up.”
For once Euphemia didn’t bother scolding him over his choice of words. She rushed forward and pulled him into a hug, she was almost startled when he seemed to melt into her grasp the way he did when he was a boy and he realised that-
“I’ve made a terrible mistake.”
“Monty.” She hissed in alarm and her husband took in a deep breath, before giving a nod.
“The study, I have most of the archives in there.”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
About an hour later, James was sitting on the couch in his parent’s study, his head on his mother’s lap as she combed her fingers through his hair. There was a tea set on the coffee table in front of them. Biscuits, scones and jams and a few other preservatives on a silver tray. James couldn’t eat a thing, his mother only managed to get him to drink a few sips of tea at a time.
Fleamont was sitting behind his desk not too far away, scattered rolls of worn parchment and old leather-bound journals and texts arranged around him. He’d look up every few seconds at his wife and only son. Just about every time James mentioned the boy in his dream. His true soulmate.
“Oh Jimmy.” Euphemia said still combing a hand through his hair. “It couldn’t possibly be that bad.”
“Mother he hates me. I know he hates me, how could he not? I was so cruel to him for so many years and I…” James cut himself off with a croak, “I don’t even know why I behaved that way. He never even really did anything he was just… I don’t know.”
“Well, it’s been some time since you all finished school. Maybe the distance has given him enough time to be able to forgive you.”
“No it hasn’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
James shook his head, Euphemia sighed, “Well, you won’t know for sure until you’ve spoken to him. You know where he is, don’t you? The dreams showed you?”
“Yes.”
“Well then, now is not the time to sit about sulking over the past.” She said urging him to sit up and look at her, “What’s done is done, there’s nothing you can do to change what’s already happened. All you can do is make it up to him and you have your entire life for that. He’s your soul mate, eventually he’ll realise that you’re meant to be together. He can’t fight you forever James.”
“Mother-“
“And what about Lily?” Fleamont suddenly asked and James head snapped up to find his father with a black book in his hands, eyes reading over the passages in the book while his spectacles rested on the bridge of his nose, “If you go after this boy this… Severus Snape, where will that leave her?”
James froze.
“Do you still love her James?”
James paused, “I… yes, yes I still love Lily. Of course I do, I-“
“Are you sure James?” Fleamont said taking his glasses off and setting them aside, “You know how your mother and I felt about you marrying that girl so soon.”
“I know. And I’m so-“ James cut himself off when his father raised his hand.
“But you married her regardless. You made a commitment to her, suddenly discovering that your soulmate is someone else doesn’t change that.” The man then sighed, “I know you’re afraid, the potential future you saw should you not bond with the Snape boy scared you. When I did the ritual I almost went into a complete panic when I saw my future without your mother; but you mustn’t forget your responsibilities.”
“But…” James hands clenched as he remembered what happened in his dream. There was so much destruction, so much death, so many lives ruined and lost. All of his friends and family, all except for his son… a son that ends up surviving the ordeal only to go through a lifetime of hardship before even he reached the age of eighteen.
“James,” Euphemia said placing a hand on his shoulder, “You understand, the only way to avoid the curse would be for you to divorce Lily and find the boy.”
“I-“
“There’s no other way, dear.”
“There’s one way.” Fleamont suddenly said and they both looked up at him in shocked. Euphemia seeming to be just as surprised as James was.
“Monty what do you mean?”
Fleamont looked to his wife and then to James, locking his son’s gaze with his own.
“There’s a way to avoid the curse and protect your marriage with Lily.”
James turned in his seat to face his father, “What is it?”
“You need to be sure James.”
“Dad-“
“You need to be absolutely sure that Lily is who you love and who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Because once you go down this route, there will be no turning back. The Snape boy will be lost to you forever.”
James took in a deep breath…
He loves Lily, he does and… Snape would never-
He took a deep breath.
“I’m sure.”
Fleamont nodded and then reached out to slip his glasses back onto his nose. To read that book that still lay before him on the table.
“It’s said that after Halcyon’s death, the elders of the time went to see Priscilla before developing the soulmate charms. They were hoping that she would be able to reverse the curse she placed on their heir. He had managed to conceive a child and they wanted to spare the boy the same fate that his father suffered. Priscilla made it clear that she couldn’t reverse the curse even if she wanted to. The person she cast it on was dead, the spell was locked in place. But they pleaded with her, offered her gold and riches beyond any that she could have ever imagined but Priscilla was still scorned. It would seem that Halcyon’s death and the great misfortune that befell him and the family wasn’t enough to appease her so, she adjusted the curse placed on the Potter bloodline.” Fleamont turned the page of the book and then reached over to a roll of parchment and pulled an ink pot closer to make a few notes. “There’s only one way to avoid the curse and that would be to find your soulmate and help them bond with an alternate.”
“What? What does that mean?” James asked and Fleamont’s head gave a tilt.
“You’d need to find someone else to bond with the Snape boy James. A replacement soulmate as it were.”
James’ eyes went wide, “What?”
“But, it couldn’t be that simple.” Euphemia said, “If it was, wouldn’t other’s in the bloodline have tried to avoid the curse that way?”
“That’s because it’s not that simple. He couldn’t just snatch someone off the side of the street and have them bond with the Snape boy, it would need to be someone quite specific.”
“How specific exactly?”
Fleamont cleared his throat, “James, you say that when you were in school. You treated the Snape boy… that you treated Severus quite cruelly from the moment you met, but you aren’t sure why.”
“Yes and-and I regret it, Dad.”
Fleamont nodded, “It’s possible that Severus’ initial reaction to you might have been the trigger for your behaviour. It’s possible that subconsciously you sensed the true nature of your bond, but when he rejected you, the soul bond reacted quite violently and changed your behaviour accordingly. He was rejecting you and so on some unconscious level you may have been trying to get him to accept your connection by force.”
“I don’t-“
“Did you ever go out of your way to harm Severus, James?” Fleamont asked, “Without provocation, did you try to hurt him?”
James looked away, Euphemia blinked looking startled for a moment as her husband continued. “And before any of these times that you hurt him; was he with anyone else, ignoring you either intentionally or unintentionally. Did you ever try to seek him out whenever he was out of your sight? Did you ever attack him, simply because you saw him touch someone else?”
James had tensed tremendously, his mother gasped. “Jimmy…”
“I…” He looked back at her with wide eyes, “I didn’t… he-he was asking for it! Always plotting with Malfoys lot and those other cretins in Slytherin.”
Fleamont’s head gave a tilt. “You said he was in Slytherin, didn’t you? He’s allowed to spend time with his friends.”
“They weren’t friends, they were just using him! He’s a half-blood! What would the likes of Mulciber and Avery want with him?!” James hissed and his father’s eyes narrowed down slightly.
“Did he have any other friends?”
James seemed to hesitate, “Lily. Lily was his friend.”
Euphemia’s eyes went wide.
“Was? They aren’t anymore.”
“It’s-It’s better that way.” James said looking down at his clenched hands, “They shouldn’t have been around each other to begin with. Lily’s too good for him.”
“That’s not for you to decide.”
“You don’t get it.” He growled, “Lily was beautiful and smart and good and he was smart but he was also… weird and dark and he was small and strange. It was wrong for him to be around her.”
“So you forced them apart?”
“He did it to himself! He’s the one that messed up and called her a slur, that’s not my fault. It just proves that I was right, I’ve been right all along. They shouldn’t have been around each other and then they weren’t. She’s too good for him, she’s so good he couldn’t even see anything around her. It’s like she was all he thought about, the only person who was good enough for him. What gave him the bloody right?!”
“Well, if he wanted her-“
“He didn’t want her, he doesn’t know what he wants.”
“James-“
His skin was flushed, his eyes going darker with every second that passed, the young wizard suddenly got up and started pacing in front of the couch, “I told him, that first day we met I told him that Slytherin was no good, but did he listen to me? No! That was his first mistake, he should’ve been listening to me from the start but he just kept ignoring me. Who gave him the right?! Who told him that he was allowed to deny me anything?! But he kept on doing it! It’s his own fault, everything that happened was his fault because he wouldn’t fucking listen! A half-blood but he looked down on me like I was barely more than a squib. Disgusting and worthless, not worthy of his time.”
“He doesn’t want you.” Euphemia frowned as she looked at the oddly calculating look on her husband’s face as he spoke, almost like he was trying to egg James on. She jumped when James suddenly gave a shout.
“He doesn’t know what he wants!”
“Why does it matter? He doesn’t belong to you-“
“He’s mine, he’s always been mine and yet he had the nerve to refuse me! The little shit, he’s so poor I could probably buy him ten times over but does he understand that? Of course not. Simple things, just small things that’s all I needed him to do. I needed him to stay away from Malfoy’s lot, stay away from Lily and stop reading those dark books he was so fond of, but he couldn’t do that! Even now, I bet he’s somewhere doing something evil or wrong. He’s up to something! I can feel it in my blood, because he’s not with me the way he should be. I was the only one that could stop him from acting out. I kept him in his place, exactly where he should have been. I should have just taken him back then. I’ve tied him down plenty of times all I needed to do was get him alone and take away his wand. If I did he’d know who belonged to. He’d finally understand. I swear to Merlin I’m going to find him and the next time I find him the greasy little git is-“
A sharp slap echoed across the room and James stopped right in his tracks. His mother was staring at him with wide eyes as she stood before him, he felt the sharp sting of pain bloom across his cheek and he stared back at her in surprise.
“James?!”
James stopped to find his father staring at him with shock, a bit more muted in his hazel eyes than they were in his mother’s.
“What on earth are you saying?” She asked in alarm and James swallowed hard, dragging a hand through his hair.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any of that I-“
“Yes you did.” Fleamont said taking in a deep breath before letting it back out, “That’s an after effect of the soulmate spells. I’m afraid there’s no getting rid of it. When you cast the spells last night you, opened a door of sorts. It can only be remedied by bonding with your soulmate.”
“But, what about what you said Monty.” Euphemia said, “About finding an alternate?”
“All that would do is stop the curse from bringing death and misfortune. It can’t do anything against… this.” Fleamont shut his eyes, “You’ll experience a slight loss of restraint around Severus. So, once we’ve found someone for him, it would be best if you stayed away from him and avoid bringing him up in any conversations so your magic doesn’t flare up.”
James swallowed hard, blinking out of what felt like a daze as he let his mother lead him to sit back down on the couch.
“You said it would need to be someone specific.” She said as she picked up James’ tea and tried to urge him to drink. Fleamont sighed.
“Usually, you only have one true soulmate, one person that’s truly destined for you, however,” Another deep breath, “In very rare cases, particularly among those with muggle blood, it’s possible to have another. Those soul connections are chaotic, unstable, sometimes unusually violent.” James looked up when he realised that his father was giving him a very pointed look, “This is usually due to the dual nature of the bond, an aspect in which you feel that your intended has… other options besides you.”
“So, I’d have to find his other soulmate?”
James felt something particularly unpleasant – and oddly familiar – stir inside of him.
“Basically.”
Euphemia frowned, “And how would we do that?”
“It won’t be easy. James would need to conduct ritual again, this time with a request for his patronus to find Severus’ other intended. If he doesn’t have another intended well, that would leave us with very limited options.” He sighed, “It would make it simpler if Severus had already met his other intended the way he did with you.”
“How would I know if he had?”
“Like I said before, the dual connection makes things chaotic, unstable and violent. Maybe there was someone else that you know that seemed to react to Severus in the same way that you did?”
James paused.
“He wasn’t very well liked.”
“I think your father means someone with the same sort of… intensity towards him, James.” His mother said, “Try to think, is there anyone you went to school with that seemed to dislike him as much as you did? Someone who paid him the same amount of attention. Someone who truly despised him. Who loathed him-”
“Perhaps someone who tried to kill him.” Fleamont said in a light tone as he leaned back in his seat and Euphemia glared.
“That’s not funny, Monty.”
“I’m only trying to lighten the mood. You’re both so tense, and stress won’t help us fix the situation.”
“Still, could you imagine if someone had actually tried to kill Severus? It could have-“
“Sirius.”
Euphemia looked back to her son to see him staring into nothing with wide eyes. The flush in his skin now completely gone as he paled.
“What… James? James, what’s wrong?”
“I… In sixth, we all thought, I thought it was just a prank that he hadn’t thought all the way through. I thought he was just-“
Fleamont frowned, “James what are you talking about?”
“In sixth, Sirius tried to kill Snape.”
His father’s eyes went wide, “He did what-“
“I didn’t think it was true but, Sirius hated Snape. Hated him the way I did and then there was sixth; he tricked Snape into going to Remus on the night of the full moon.”
Euphemia gasped.
“Snape could have died, if I hadn’t gotten there in time; he would have died. I thought it was just a bad prank but, he didn’t even seem like he cared that he exposed Remus’ secret. He didn’t seem to care about Remus hurting someone like that. He seemed surprised that Snape made it out. I thought it was a bad prank but he was wasn’t he; Sirius was trying to kill Snape.”
Fleamont stared at his son with wide horrified eyes before he stood up, “Effie.”
She didn’t respond, still frozen in shock.
“Euphemia!” He said more firmly and she looked up, “Ready James’ room. He’ll cast the spells and spend the night here. I’ll contact Lily and tell her not to expect him back tonight.”
“But-“
“We need to confirm. If Sirius really did try to kill Severus because of the bond. He may only be our only chance.”
She swallowed hard and then quickly got up off the couch. James didn’t move, just dragged his hands through his hair before clutching the black strands tight.
“James.” He said just as firmly to his son and James lifted his head to look up at his father.
“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that the way you’ve been treating that boy is unacceptable, regardless of your connection to him.”
“I-I know.”
“For all your sakes, pray that Sirius really is his other intended because otherwise, you’ve been putting an innocent person through an ordeal for nothing.”
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After finishing school, Sirius managed to get himself a townhouse in wixen London. It wasn’t anything as extravagant as his childhood home at Grimmauld Place but it was nothing to sneeze at either.
The door opened.
“James?” Sirius blinked, “What’re you doing here?”
He cast the spells, completed the ritual.
This time as Prongs stood before him in the glow of the moonlight that streamed in through the window of his childhood bedroom, James felt every nerve in his body tense and his stomach fill with dread.
He very very clearly did not want to finish the ritual. He didn’t want to hand Severus off to someone else and wasn’t that just the strangest feeling? Knowing that Snape was his and not wanting to give him up but-
“You love Lily, don’t you?” Some lost voice in the back of his head whispered and yes, yes he loves Lily… right? He’s always loved her. What he does now is for her, to give them a future without death and misfortune. A good future, a happy future.
So he took a deep breath and forced the words to leave his mouth.
“My… Severus Snape.” Prongs seemed to stand a bit straighter, James swallowed hard, “Find his destined.”
The Stag’s head gave a tilt and then stepped closer, seeming to try and nudge at his chest and James sighed in frustration.
“No, not me his… his other destined.”
A pause and then the stag nodded its head before stomping its hoof and taking off through the wall.
That dread grew as he got on the bed, unwilling to sleep. Unfortunately the moment his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light.
The dream he had this time was different. He had the same first dream, showing him where Severus was, and then he saw something else.
James isn’t really sure how to describe it, he doesn’t even fully understand what it was that he was seeing.
He saw Severus and he saw Sirius and there was… blood.
They were in some forest and the moon wasn’t quite full, clothes torn, they were covered in blood as they kissed under the light of the moon.
That’s all he really remembers about the dream. Mostly because he suddenly woke up. Mostly because Prongs woke him when he suddenly came rushing into the room. His bedroom filled with bright light, the stag looked alarmed and James was frowning in confusion only to gasp and almost jump right out of his skin when Padfoot came running in as well, snarling and snapping at the stag that shook its head and reared back on its hindlegs. Padfoot let out one sharp bark before going back out though the wall.
He told his parents, Fleamont said that seeing Sirius with Severus was confirmation enough but for Sirius’ patronus to chase James’ away was much more telling.
“It might be best, that you don’t tell Sirius that you are Severus intended as well James.”
“You want me to lie? If I don’t tell him the truth then what do I even tell him?”
“Long night?” James asked with a smile and Sirius scoffed.
“Not really.” He turned and waved the other wizard inside as he turned and headed towards the kitchen. James walked in and closed the door, taking in a deep breath before he followed his friend into the kitchen where he was already making himself some coffee. “Actually decided to stay in and get an early night last night.”
“Really? There’s no Melanie or Christopher hiding upstairs right now?”
“Not this time.” Sirius scoffed and then shook his head, “I’ve just been feeling a bit weird the past few days, figured I should rest. Fat lot of good that did, I’ve been having the weirdest dreams.”
James paused just as he was sitting down at the kitchen table, “What kind of dreams?”
Sirius paused as well, “Nothing important. Coffee?”
“Sure.”
“Black two sugars, right?”
“Yeah, right.” Somehow James forgot, he and Sirius take their coffee the same way, don’t they?
The coffee was set down in front of him before Sirius sat down as well dragging a hand through his bedhead as he sipped from his cup. James couldn’t even pick up his own. Dark dark dark brown, just like Severus’ eye-
“So, what brings you by mate? Married life finally bringing you down?” He teased and James let out a scoff.
“Not exactly.”
“Yeah? So what’s up?”
“I…” James swallowed hard, “You remember, I told you. About the ritual I had to do on my eighteenth.”
“Right, your mum wanted you to wait before marrying Lily to do them.” Sirius nodded.
“Right.” And then the animagus paused, he paused at the look on James’ face.
“No, don’t tell me… Lily isn-“
“No, no! She-she is, Lily’s… She’s my soulmate.” The words from his own mouth made him internally cringe.
Sirius frowned.
“Well, that’s good news isn’t it? Why so Sirius?” The animagus joked, “You look like you’ve been diagnosed with a blood curse or something.”
James huffed out a laugh, “It might be just as complicated as that.”
The frown returned, “Alright spill, what’s wrong?”
The hazel eyed wizard took in a very very deep breath.
You love Lily. You’re doing this for her.
“Those weird dreams you’ve been having… Do they have anything to do with Snape?”
Sirius almost dropped his cup, “What?”
“The dreams you’ve been having, they’re about Snape, aren’t they?”
“…”
“…”
“How do you know that?”
James’ heart dropped right into his stomach.
He already knew, of course he knew. But when Sirius confirmed it-
“The-the-“ Do it you damn coward, “The ritual I did, there were some side effects to it.”
Sirius set his cup down, “What kind of side-effects?”
“Well,” James tried to remember the excuse he came up with with his parents, tried to remember everything they decided to tell Sirius. “It’s Lily… You remember how close she was to Snape in school.”
“What about it?”
“He… Because they were so close, when I did the ritual and I had my dream of Lily, it showed me Snape as well.”
“What does that-“
“It showed me Snape with you, Sirius.”
“What?”
“I asked my parents and they said that it means-“ He almost bit his own tongue, “It means that Snape is your soulmate.”
The worst most, horrible, dirty, uncomfortable feeling washed right over him. Sirius was staring at him.
“Is this some sort of joke? Because if it is, it isn’t funny Prongs.”
“It’s not a joke.”
“No, it has to be. There’s no way my soulmate is fucking Snivell-“
“You tried to kill him.” Sirius’ mouth snapped shut. James pushed on, “In sixth you were trying to kill him when you sent him to Moony.”
“No, I wasn’t. James I told you-“
“Yes you were. Dad says this explains why you did it.”
“You told him-“
“He said that when a soul bond is rejected, sometimes it reacts violently. You get angry and aggressive and you don’t even know why… you get like that because your soulmate rejects you. And it can get so bad that you could even end up trying to kill them.”
Sirius went silent again. James sighed as he looked down at his coffee cup, down at the dark dark brown brew inside of it.
“And it makes sense, doesn’t it? You hated him, you hated him so much but you didn’t know why and you could say it’s because he was dark and evil and ugly but that would be a lie. You knew he wasn’t actually evil, you knew he wasn’t all that dark and you-you never really thought he was ugly, but… he denied you. He kept fighting you so you tried to make him take it, make him accept your bond and what you meant to each other. That’s why you did it. That’s why you hurt him. Because you wanted him to feel every single sliver of pain and heartache that he made you feel every time he ignored you and pretended like you didn’t exist. Every time he made you feel worthless and insignificant, you wanted to make him feel that too. Because you saw him, you’ve always seen him. You‘ve always wanted him and it kills you that he didn’t want you-“
“Shut up.” Sirius suddenly hissed and James looked up to find his best friend wearing the darkest glare.
“Sirius-“
“Get out.”
“But-“
He got up from his chair and screamed, “I said get out right now!”
“I-“
“Now!” He looked murderous. James blinked before he took a deep breath and got up from his seat.
“Fine. I-I’ll leave.” He turned to leave the kitchen only to stop in the doorway.
You love Lily.
“Part of the ritual, is for me to see where he is. He’s in Knockturn Alley, in an apartment above an apocathery there.” James’ jaw clenched. He’s not yours, he’s not yours. You have Lily. “You’re supposed to marry before you both turn twenty, if you want to keep him.”
He didn’t look back at Sirius, even as he felt the cold glare against his back. He made his way out of the townhouse and onto the street. Taking a couple of deep calming breaths so he wouldn’t splinch himself trying to apparate.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A week later, he went over to Sirius’ again.
It would seem that his best friend was avoiding him or ignoring him. Or maybe both. He asked Remus and the werewolf said that he hasn’t really spoken to Sirius in a while so he wasn’t sure.
“Why, is something wrong?”
“We, got into a fight.” James said and Remus frowned.
“A fight about what?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it right now, Remus. Once I get things sorted with Padfoot, I’ll tell you.”
The werewolf seemed like he wanted to ask but he didn’t. Just shook his head with a sigh.
“You never said, how did that ritual thing go?”
“It… it went fine. I saw Lily, everything’s fine.” He said with a forced smile that Remus still didn’t seem to buy but he still didn’t push.
As for Lily things were a bit tense with her.
When James got back, she of course wanted to know about the ritual and why he had to stay over with his parents for two days. He couldn’t tell her about it. Somehow he couldn’t look her in the eye and tell her she was his soulmate. So he just told her it was a ritual to confirm his position as the heir of Potter and left it at that. She wanted details but he couldn’t give her any, so they ended up fighting for quite a bit until she eventually just walked off in a huff.
It’s been tense at home.
And at training, Sirius was avoiding him.
It would be a week later that he decided that enough was enough and went over to see the animagus at his house.
The door opened, but surprisingly, Sirius didn’t just slam the door in his face.
“James. I was just…” He seemed to pause for a moment in thought before he nodded back into the house, “Come in.”
James blinked but still followed the other inside, closing the door behind him.
“I’m surprised you’re talking to me now. You’ve been ignoring me all week.”
“Yeah, I… I’m sorry for kicking you out the other day. I’ve been thinking things over and I realised that you were right.”
He got inside and smelled… food.
Breakfast. Eggs and bacon and toast. Sirius didn’t usually cook much.
He almost stopped at Sirius’ words though, “Really?”
“Yeah.”
Into the kitchen and Sirius really was making breakfast; the stove had bacon sizzling on a pan, eggs had been set aside and he could see toast on the counter. There was a tray on the table already with an empty teacup and saucer with cutlery.
“You’re right, about what was happening between me and Severus.” James was surprised at the use of the other’s name, “I wanted him. I wanted him badly and… I was such a stupid idiot kid I couldn’t figure it out.”
“Alright.”
“You’re right about me trying to kill him too. I don’t think I really realised it at the time but I remember there was a moment when I was telling him about Moony I thought; now no one can have him. Mental isn’t it? It wasn’t even like there was anyone Severus was dating at the time. It’s not like anyone else wanted him but I was so hung up I wanted to make sure that no one ever could.”
James swallowed hard, “Yeah, absolutely mental.”
“It wouldn’t hit me till later that no one included me. Merlin, I was an idiot.” He shook his head as he took the bacon off the pan and set it on a plate before putting some of the eggs on the plate as well, “But… it feels good. It feels good saying it out loud, you know. It’s even better since your ritual confirmed it. Bloody hell James it actually feels great. He’s mine, he’s always been mine.”
Something dark and primal inside of James screamed and he had to consciously stop himself from screaming out loud.
“That’s-“ Not true. It’s not true at all. He’s mine! Not yours you can’t have him! “Great Padfoot, so what do you plan on doing now?”
“I figure I should just take it one step at a time.” Sirius said as he set the plate down on the tray before reaching for the kettle to fill up the teacup. “He’s my soulmate, it’s really just a matter of time so. I’m not too worried.”
James frowned just as Sirius set the teacup just a little bit straighter. When it suddenly hit him.
“Do you have a guest or something? Seriously, since when do you make breakfast?”
“Yeah, I have a guest.” Sirius looked at him and smiled, “Gotta make a good impression, right? Just because I usually don’t have to doesn’t mean I don’t know how to woo someone if I really want to. This is just one of the many steps I have in my playbook. You should take notes, make sure you keep your marriage alive and all that.”
“Who are you wooing exactly?”
Sirius picked up the tray and made for the stairs.
“Severus of course.”
James eyes went wide.
“He’s here?”
“Yeah, I was just making him breakfast in bed.”
Already?
How did Sirius manage to get into Severus’ good graces so quickly?
He got up to follow the animagus up the stairs. It can’t be true. Not so soon-
“He’s been here since Sunday.”
Sunday? James went to see Sirius on Friday.
He got Severus and managed to get him in two days?!
James’ heart cracked.
What the hell-
“Why I’ve been so busy, you know. Moving him in here’s been a lot of work. But Sev and I both agreed that it would be necessary so we could get more comfortable around each other. So, he can get used to this whole soulmate thing.”
“Bloody hell…”
“I know right? But I’m excited. It’s actually been pretty fun having him in the house. I’ve been feeling so… calm, lately.”
James noticed that yes, Sirius seemed incredibly calm. He looked relaxed and happy.
No.
They made it up the stairs to the bedroom at the end while James valiantly fought off the sudden panic attack he was experiencing.
No way.
Not this fast.
He couldn’t have!
Sirius stopped in front of the door and then-
“Five three seven six. Alohamora.”
A soft click and James blinked.
“A combination lock spell?”
“Yeah, he managed to get out last time so. I had to upgrade the spell.”
Wait what?
Sirius nudged the door open and-
“Morning Sev!”
“Drop dead you inconceivable twat! Let me go this instant!”
“Sev, if I haven’t let you go yet what makes you think I’ll let you go now?”
What…
James stepped into the room and his eyes went wide.
Sirius was walking off to the side setting the tray with food down on the dresser before he walked over to the bed and sat down beside Severus Snape. Who was chained and shackled to the black fourposter bed in the middle wearing nothing but a white button up shirt that looked to be about two sizes too big.
It’s…
It’s been a while since he saw Severus.
His hair seemed to be just an inch longer, not much longer but James could somehow tell that it was longer. His nose was still that same odd shape but he seemed to have grown into it. His limbs looked longer but James could tell that he was still taller than the raven haired Slytherin, still bigger as well as that pale skin stretched over his lean frame. His eyes… his eyes were just as dark as James remembers them. Dark, dark and unforgiving. His lips not as thin as he remembers, pink and with just the slightest plump to them but really, he’s always looked like this hasn’t he? He looked a bit healthier. Those cheeks flushed with anger seemed to have plumped up a bit.
It was different, seeing Snape like this especially now that he knows what he knows. He finally understands how he felt. It slowed his response time and had that voice that’s been whispering in the back of his head ever since the ritual practically screaming praise Salazar at the top of its lungs
It was different and… Severus was on a bed, wearing nothing but a white button up shirt, tied to a bed, completely vulnerable and James is still bigger and taller than he is-
James snapped out of his thoughts when Sirius plopped down on the bed and leaned over the other.
“You still look fantastic like this.” Severus glared at the animagus.
“Let me go.”
“Not until we’ve been bonded and unfortunately, I can’t do that without your consent so.” Sirius grinned, “You’re going to stay here until you finally accept the fact that you’re mine.”
“You’re going to be waiting a long time Black. I don’t belong to you! I don’t belong to anyone.”
“Yes you do, you belong to me.” Sirius quickly leaned in to press a kiss on the raven’s forehead and pulled back before Severus could try and rip out his throat like he was very clearly trying to. “I’ve brought you breakfast.”
“Piss off!”
“Sev, if you don’t eat, you’ll starve. Don’t be so difficult.” Sirius got up from the bed and headed for the door. He blinked at James.
“James, almost forgot you were there.”
“P-Potter.” Severus stuttered, trying to tilt his head to get a look at the door and James swallowed hard, “You’re here? Potter, your mongrel of a friend kidnapped me!”
“You can’t kidnap the willing love.”
“I don’t want to be here!”
“Yes, you do. You just don’t know it yet. I’ll take off the shackles so you can eat.”
“GODDAMNIT BLACK! YOU CAN’T KEEP ME HERE FOREVER!”
“I disagree.” Sirius said grabbing a hold of James’ arm, “Hungry James? I made a bit extra today.”
James was so shocked he just let Sirius drag him from the room and close it behind him.
“BLACK?!”
“Finite incentatum.”
“You miserable-“
The door shut.
“Five three seven six. Colloportus.”
The door locked. James just stared back at Sirius with wide eyes while the animagus smiled.
“Seriously, have you had breakfast yet?” and he made his way downstairs.
“Sirius…” James gaped as he stared at the locked bedroom door, he jumped when he heard what was clearly a plate, crashing against the door. Before a serious of thumps and other crashes.
Sirius clicked his tongue, “I’ll need to make a bit extra for lunch.”
“Sirius… you kidnapped Severus?!”
“James.” Sirius said with a roll of his eyes, “Kidnappings are basically like theft. You can’t steal something that belongs to you.”
“That’s not how that works, Sirius.”
Down the stairs and back into the kitchen.
“He’s… He’s your soulmate, you can’t take him by force. That’s insane.”
“Well I couldn’t just leave him there.” Sirius said as he started making a plate, “You should’ve seen the hovel he was living in, besides, it’s for his own good.”
“His own good?”
“I went to see him on Sunday, walked in just in time to see Mulciber and Avery leaving. Apparently, Severus is supposed to take the mark soon so they’ve been checking up on him. I couldn’t leave him there. What if he got the mark behind my back?” He explained simply, “You know how stubborn he is. So yes, this is for his own good.”
“Sirius-“
“James, he’s mine. Once he realises it as well, everything will be fine. Relax.” He turned to the kettle. “Coffee? Sev prefers tea but I could make you a cup.”
It was insane but…
He got it.
If Mulciber and Avery really were hanging around because Severus was trying to take the mark then… was it really so wrong to do whatever is necessary to stop him from taking the mark?
James didn’t think so.
Would he have kidnapped Severus to save him from taking the mark?
James swallowed hard when he realised that yes, yes he would. So, how is it wrong for Sirius to actually go through with it? Besides, Severus isn’t his soulmate… not supposed to be anyway. James has Lily. He’s doing all of this for her. Severus has to bond with Sirius if they’re going to have a better future and if Sirius decides that this is the best way to protect him then-then
Then it’s fine. It’s O.K.
This is for the best.
He loves Lily and Severus will be fine with Sirius. They’ll both be fine and James is perfectly fine with that.