Regulus Black
Remus had always found the library intriguing. It was a familiar and comforting place for him—except when he had to be there with other people. This time it was Sirius, who had dragged Remus along to help him with the homework he owed that seventh-year student. But Remus couldn’t concentrate; his thoughts kept drifting back to the previous night and the scars marking his best friend’s skin.
Sirius was sitting across from him, hunched over a pile of parchment, quill in hand. Remus couldn’t help but watch him—the way Sirius carried himself, avoided eye contact, and clenched his jaw whenever something reminded him of home. He had been like this since the school year started, but Remus hadn’t thought it was serious. After all, when Remus convinced Sirius to talk about his summer, he eventually gave in. But Sirius hadn’t mentioned anything about physical violence.
“Done yet?” Sirius asked, glancing over at Remus, who was still zoned out.
“Almost,” Remus muttered. “You always ask that when you’re nowhere near finished yourself.”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Well, this stuff is difficult! I can’t believe she only gave me two cigarettes for this…”
Remus actually thought it was still worth the effort but didn’t say it out loud. Instead, he focused and pressed his quill to the parchment once more. But the words blurred in front of him, and he found himself lost in thought again.
It was like there was a distance, a barrier between them that hadn’t been there before. Remus didn’t think Sirius was aware that he’d seen his scars or overheard Barty mention them during lunch a few days ago, but still, the barrier was there. Remus had tried to brush it off, but he was starting to wonder if it was something he should confront.
Though he couldn’t bring himself to ask. He wasn’t sure what he would even say if he did. And besides, Sirius had a way of brushing things off too, hiding behind jokes and sarcasm when things got too serious. But Remus wasn’t sure if that would work this time. Maybe he’d just lie to him again.
Sirius let out a dramatic groan and tossed his quill down. “That’s it, I’m done,” he said, stretching his arms above his head.
“Liar,” Remus muttered under his breath. He was still struggling with his notes on potion ingredients and their effects on the human body.
“Look, I’m going to bed,” Sirius said suddenly. “I’m exhausted.”
“But we have to finish this assignment! I won’t do it by myself.”
“Yeah, let’s just continue tomorrow.”
Remus raised an eyebrow. “Fine.”
“See you tomorrow, Moony!” And with that, Sirius left the library, leaving Remus alone with their unfinished work—and, once again, thoughts of Sirius’ family occupied his mind.
If Sirius wasn’t going to talk, then maybe Remus would have to find out for himself.
He decided to pack his things and head to the Astronomy Tower. It was the regular hangout spot for Regulus and his friends; Sirius had mentioned it once, and Remus was determined to get answers.
Remus knew little about Regulus Black. The younger Black brother was always rather quiet, withdrawn, and unapproachable. He seemed distant, cold, and almost completely uninterested in the lives of others.
But sometimes, there was something about him that intrigued Remus. Maybe it was his pitch-black hair and the beautiful face that reminded him of Sirius from time to time. Or perhaps it was the way he carried himself or how he spoke up when his friends bullied innocent Muggle-borns. He didn’t really know what it was, nor did he care.
With a sigh, he climbed the stairs of the Astronomy Tower, already hearing the Slytherin boys chatting before he reached the top.
It didn’t take long for them to notice him. As expected, they sat on the cold stone floor, legs dangling in the air—Barty, Regulus, Severus, and Evan. But what Remus didn’t expect was the pack of cigarettes lying next to Barty’s thigh and the smoke they exhaled into the dull air. None of them looked amused when they saw Remus.
“Fuck off, Lupin!” Barty yelled.
“I need to talk to Regulus.”
“Well, he won’t talk to someone like you, so leave.”
Remus’ eyes met the younger Black brother’s. “It’s about Sirius.” He knew asking about Sirius was dangerous territory, but at this point, he felt he had no other choice. “Please.”
Regulus sighed and stood up. “I’ll be back in five.” And with that, they sat down on the stairs, where the other Slytherins couldn’t see or hear them.
The staircase was so narrow that they were practically pressed together, thighs touching and shoulders brushing slightly. But Remus didn’t care, as long as he could get some answers.
“So?” Regulus asked, his tone flat but not unkind.
“About Sirius,” Remus said, his voice steady, though his heart was beating faster than he would have liked. “I don’t know what’s going on with him, but… he’s different. I thought maybe you’d know.”
Regulus raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching into something that almost looked like a smile. “Sirius, huh?” he murmured. “You’re asking the wrong person.”
Remus frowned. “But you’re his brother?”
“I don’t know what you expect me to say,” Regulus replied quietly. “I’m worried too, you know. But I won’t go around spilling his secrets. If you want to understand him, you’re better off asking him yourself.”
Remus bit his lip, frustration building. “I’ve tried that. But… I heard Barty mention Walburga—” He didn’t quite know how to finish the sentence. Saying it out loud would make it real, and he definitely didn’t want that. “That she—”
“Say it. She hits him,” Regulus said bluntly, his eyes narrowing slightly as he regarded Remus.
“But why?”
“I’m not going to be the one to tell you the details. That’s something Sirius needs to do on his own.”
“But telling your friends about it is fine, huh?” Remus mumbled.
“I didn’t mean to tell them,” Regulus defended himself. “It was an accident. It really was… also, you better not tell Sirius about any of this. He’d kill both of us.”
“I won’t.”
“And don’t expect it to be simple. Nothing about Sirius is ever simple."
Remus didn’t reply. He had the answers he needed, even if they weren’t the ones he wanted.
“What about you?” he asked then.
“What about me?” Regulus replied, slightly confused.
“I mean, do your parents also—”
“Oh, no. I’m fine.” The words came quickly, but Remus doubted they were true. “I mean, I’m following their rules, am I not?”
Remus sighed and looked at the starry night sky. “Guess you are, Black.”
Sometimes, the people you cared about needed time. Time and space.
And maybe that was all Remus could give Sirius.
“Can I ask you another question?” Remus dared to say.
“Fine, but make it quick.”
“Where do you get your cigarettes from?”
“I don’t smoke,” Regulus said defensively.
“But your friends do, don’t they?”
“Maybe. But why would I tell you about that? You’re a Gryffindor—and a half-blood.”
Remus didn’t know how to respond, so he simply stood up and started walking down the stairs. Just as he reached the bottom, Regulus called out his name.
“Wait. I’ll ask them. But you owe me.”
“You’re really not as bad as I thought.”
“Well, you’re exactly like I expected you to be.” A smile was tugging at Regulus lips as he said that. Remus couldn’t help it but smile too.
He wasn’t sure what to do with the information he had now. Talk to Sirius about it? Bad idea. Not talk to him about it? Also stupid. He couldn’t tell James or Peter either.
The truth was, he couldn’t tell anyone.
Maybe he would have figured something out—if it weren’t for the full moon waiting for him the next day.
It was as awful as it always was. Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall locked him up in the Shrieking Shack, and when he woke up on Tuesday, he remembered very little of the night before. His body, however, told him enough. He felt completely drained, bruises scattered across his torso, and from the looks of it, he’d managed to destroy a shelf.
When he made it to the infirmary, it wasn’t long before James and Peter showed up. Sirius, however, wasn’t with them.
“Seems like he and the other Blacks have some super fancy and important dinner today,” James explained. “He forgot to tell us, but he left this morning.”
“When is he coming back?” Remus asked.
“Probably tomorrow evening,” Peter answered. “But he told us to give you this!”
He pulled out a small box wrapped in parchment paper, along with a letter.
Remus waited until he was alone to open it.
Inside, Sirius had packed a bar of his favorite chocolate and a Muggle book Remus had never seen before—Watership Down.
Hey Moony,
I’m sorry I can’t be there for the first full moon of the year, but I hope you’re doing alright. Don’t worry, we’ll figure out this Animagus thing soon. I can’t wait to see the Moony in real life.
If you miss me (everyone would, don’t lie to yourself), eat the chocolate. You’ll feel better.
Can’t wait to hear what you think about the book.
Bye-bye,
S.O.B.
Remus ate half the chocolate bar while binge-reading the book. He was so caught up in it that, for a little while, he almost forgot where Sirius was spending the night. Almost.