Sirius
Every time he closed his eyes he came back there.
In the cold, with the rain that wet his clothes and hair and the screams of the other boys in his division.
But it was over now, he was home. Or rather, in the hospital.
He looked out the window, he had been back home two weeks after a bomb went off right next to him and his companions, he didn't remember much of what happened next, only he tried to save the others and he remembered the pain, so much pain.
They had operated on him urgently and when he woke up in the field hospital they told him that he had lost sight in one eye and would be honorably discharged and taken to the London hospital, he would return home.
Since he arrived at the hospital, he had been treated for all the superficial wounds, had operated on his shoulder again and had repeated at least three times that it was a miracle that he was still alive given the proximity to the bomb.
To him, however, it didn't seem like a miracle at all, not at all. It had been luck, the same luck that his friends had not had, before being taken away they had told him that some, indeed, several had not made it, like Frank who had died instantly.
Frank was a grade above him, he left a wife and a child and Sirius couldn't help but feel guilty, he only had his brother, and yet he was alive. Frank, instead of keeping his son's photo always in his uniform pocket, would never go home.
He heard the door open and turned to see his doctor enter the room, he was smiling as always and Sirius wondered how could a surgeon who lost lives and saved as many look so relaxed.
"Hi Sirius, how are you feeling today?"
Sirius smiled a little
"much better"
Remus, no, Dr. Lupin smiled and walked over to him
"The shoulder is healing fast, I think you will be out shortly and I wanted to talk to you about that. You have been honorably discharged, but this does not ensure an easy life, but there are many veteran recovery groups, they will help you. to get back into everyday life "
Sirius listened in silence, he didn't have many alternatives, what else could he do? He did not have a family, his brother could not take care of him and working now was not part of the options.
He nodded slightly, taking the flyer Remus handed him
"I think I'll take a look, thanks"
"it's not one of those sad places where there are only misfits, some of them are veterans who have rebuilt their lives for years but still need help. You will be able to use their accommodation, you are not completely blind but you will not be able to do much with one eye, so I think it is better to end up on the street "
Sirius knew he was right, he knew all too much about the fate that most veterans went through, ended up on the street, or worse, died somewhere because no one had helped them. He'd heard too many stories like that and didn't want to become yet another former soldier who died of depression after returning home.
"I will go there.."
Remus smiled at him and shook his hand, in those two weeks he had had the opportunity to observe Remus a lot, he was a handsome boy but above all a very good surgeon, he too had been in the field months before as a field doctor but for too many losses he was back in London.
"after that you bring your discharge papers and in two days you can go out, we have notified your brother and until the recovery center gives the availability he has offered to host you"
"oh- okay, alright thank you very much "
Remus smiled again and walked out of the room, Sirius wasn't convinced that staying a few days with his brother was a good idea, but he had nowhere else to go.
Half an hour later Remus returned with the resignation papers and Sirius stared at them in silence
"Are you all right Sirius?"
"yes .. I just don't think I want to go home with my brother, we don't get along. We haven't actually talked to each other for years"
Remus sat down next to him on the bed
"I'm so sorry, don't you have anyone else to stay from?"
He shook his head as he continued to look at the papers
"you can stay with me"
"what? oh no I could never bother you like that"
"you don't bother me and then the next few days I have them free, and I'm your doctor anyway if you stay with me I can check that everything is fine"
"okay..but only until I go to the recovery center"
Remus nodded and handed him the pen to sign the papers
"why are you doing it?"
"because you are a hero and now you need someone to help you"
He took the papers Sirius had stopped and left the room. He thought about those words all day, he didn't feel like a hero at all, he wasn't.
He had enlisted to escape from his family, not for some good cause, he had saved many people but still did not deserve to be called a hero.
Two days later Remus went to him to help him get his things, not that there were many. He looked in the mirror before going out, the scar was almost completely healed, it started from the forehead and went up to the cheek, it was caused by a splinter from the bomb and now his left eye was completely blind.
He came out of the bathroom and after taking the bag with his things followed Remus out of the hospital, he hadn't been out for weeks, and although it wasn't often good weather in London that day it was sunny and Sirius smiled to feel the heat again on his skin.
Remus helped him into the car and started driving to his house, Sirius looked out the window all the time, he hadn't been back to London for years, during breaks or leave he had always gone elsewhere to avoid meeting his family, but he had to admit that he missed London.
When Remus stopped the car Sirius got out looking around, he didn't know that neighborhood or at least he didn't remember having been there, he looked at Remus's house which was a simple house like the ones he had next door.
"it's not very big, but there is a guest room and you can stay there"
"it's definitely better than a tent with 30 other guys"
Remus laughed as he opened the front door and Sirius looked around when he entered, on the wall next to the door were pictures of Remus at his graduation, Remus with other kids, and there were lots of books everywhere. Medical books, classic books, Sirius was sure he had never even seen so many books.
"Come, I'll show you your room and you can take a shower I know that the hospital one is not exactly the best, I would like to tell you that I will prepare dinner in the meantime but I don't know how to cook so I will order pizza"
Sirius chuckled and followed Remus upstairs, there were books and photos there too
"do you like reading huh?"
"do you notice so much?"
he smiled at him and opened a door, the room was simple but it was much better than the hospital one.
"take it easy, I'll wait for you downstairs"
"yeah..uhm, thank you very much Remus"
"no problem, Be the best right? "
Sirius smiled at the British Army motto and nodded
"yes, right, be the best"
Remus left the room and Sirius was alone, took a shower looking at all the scars he had left after the explosion, he had heard many times from the other soldiers that you should be proud of the scars you were making down there.
But Sirius wasn't sure he was really proud of it, but he was alive, and those were somehow proof of that. He was alive, and he wasn't going to throw it all away because now, with the chance to start a better life again, he felt really lucky.
After getting dressed, he went downstairs and joined Remus who was sitting on the sofa with the TV on.
"I was looking for a movie, any preference?"
"not war movie"
Remus laughed and made room for him on the sofa
"definitely no"
They ended up watching a pretty bad but funny movie and ate pizza talking about everything but work, and for the first time in months, Sirius felt good.