Skidding on the curves of your heart

Barcelona-2022

“-It’s shameful how she defends herself, Patri, the amount of excuses. Do you really believe her?

-Come on, calm down.

Mapi hears them from the room and steps back, staying behind the door without moving forward with the annoying crutches.

-You'd better go, Ale. She won't like you here.

-I spoke to Sara. She told me that Mapi is slandering her, talking shit.

-I mean it-Patri murmurs.

-Pilar went to see her. Do you know anything about that?

-I don't know anything-Patri lies, because if Mapi knew everything, she'd go to hell.

-Pilar went to yell at Sara-Alexia continues-she didn't care how delicate she is, how unstable she is. It's pathetic that Mapi hides behind her mother, but this is as far as we go.

Mapi leaves slowly, without anyone noticing her presence. Alexia looks angry as always. Patri is the epitome of common sense.

-Maybe Sara deserves it, Ale, have you never stopped to think about it?

-What Mapi did to her was cowardly. She promised her a relationship and something stable, only to suddenly abandon her. And now she comes out and says Sara abused her? Really?

Mapi gets closer to them, as much as she can with her crutches, and doesn't even deign to look at the one who was once her great friend, her captain.

-I don't know anything about what my mother has or hasn't done, but that doesn't give you the right to come into my house and berate me. Sara and I are adults and we'll work this out sooner or later, and if I ended the relationship, I have my reasons. I don't give a shit what you have to say about it.

-You're the worst, Mapi.

-She manipulates you, don't you realize?

-Fuck off.

-Fuck off you too-Mapi answers with great maturity.

She collapses on the couch as soon as Alexia walks through the door.

-You should have told her what Sara did, how badly she treated you. Ale is blinded by the affection she has for her, but I know she would believe you.

-I don't give a shit right now-Mapi grinds her teeth-I can't believe Mom went to talk to Sara.

-She's worried. Even the fact that you two have finished doesn't calm her down.

-You're going to listen to me word for word.

-Mapi…she’s your mother, don’t go crazy.

But Mapi doesn't listen to reason. She hates it when everyone around her gets involved, and even more so when her parents think she can't solve it on her own. So later, when Pilar and Javier return, her words come out rushed and hurtful. She kicks them out, asking them not to see her again. Years of silent resentment surface. Mapi doesn't stop to think. And the worst part is that her parents are still there for her no matter what she said; they don't abandon her even when things get a little more complicated.”

-You're biting your nails. You think she won't come.

Ingrid gives her brother an unfriendly look without responding and pretends to be busy with the final preparations for the table.

-But take that face off, little sister-Anders laughs for the pure fun of annoying her-with Ada we bet that she'll come and kiss you under the mistletoe.

-You guys are the worst pains-she says dryly.

-Don't include me in your lies-Ada leans forward and denies everything-Besides, Anders, Ingrid and Mapi have nothing to do with each other. How could you even think that! They're...friends.

Ingrid rolls her eyes and snorts angrily. But she knows Ada is joking, and the fact that she's doing so in her condition, even that she's able to share that night with them after so much uncertainty almost a year ago, is enough to make her expression change from discontent to one of gratitude.

-If Maria said she would come, it's because she will-Gudrun ends the debate and winks at Ingrid.

Ingrid knows that Mapi finally agreed to spend Christmas with them. They've shared every possible minute in the days leading up to it, and it's been almost like being in a dream. Almost because reality is so much better. Mapi is sweet, attentive, playful, and very well-educated because she can talk about the most varied topics, and Ingrid always listens raptly. Every little discovery she continues to make about herself is fascinating.

The black-haired girl has such a silly smile on her face that she misses the mocking glances her brothers exchange.

-Kjære, almost everything is ready, you can go check if Maria is at the door yet.

Indeed, Mapi was at the door, but both Frida and Oscar had already opened it, excitedly looking at the packages and gift bags that Mapi was carrying.

-You know it wasn't necessary-Ingrid smiles because she bought many of the things the Spanish woman carries with her at the markets.

-It is.

That's the whole exchange because the whole family throws themselves at Mapi practically without even allowing her to leave the presents under the tree.

-Something to drink, María? -Ørjan asks.

-Or some snacks-suggests Karl.

-Perhaps you would like to sit by the fire-Gudrun adds-We'll have dinner in half an hour.

-Oh, well-Mapi's gaze passes from one to one without knowing how to respond to each attention-yes, something to drink sounds good, Ørjan.

Ingrid smiles and then coughs, looking away.

-What's so funny? -Mapi wants to know.

-You're probably wishing you'd stayed home.

-More or less-whispers Mapi-but you're here, so…

Mapi leaves the sentence half-finished and walks away in search of her drink, and Ingrid bites her lip, following her with her eyes. To hell with whoever's watching.

Gudrun monopolizes Mapi's attention by showing her every delicious meal they've prepared for the day: pork and lamb ribs, mashed potatoes, rice pudding, different types of fish, and gingerbread cookies to go with the gløgg.

Mapi frowns as she tries to follow Gudrun, but she can't seem to make it, so Ingrid goes to the rescue.

-You're making her dizzy, mamma.

-I'm fine-says Mapi.

-It's just food-Gudrun defends herself, shrugging her shoulders-and you have to eat a lot, just as a warning.

As Gudrun walks away, Ingrid nods to Mapi to follow her into the hall.

-We were all thinking you weren't coming.

-I had to grab the last gifts, I was late.

-I figured so. I...mmm, I really want to kiss you.

-We can't with so many people in the house.

-I know.

-But-Mapi adds a dramatic pause accompanied by a wink-maybe I'll kiss you under the mistletoe later.

-You wouldn't do that. You'd be contradicting yourself.

-You'll see-Mapi bites her lip and brushes against Ingrid's hands as she walks away.

Mapi is nervous (obviously) but she doesn't let on. She's been like that since the moment she walked through the door. Since before leaving the house, if she's honest, practicing in front of the mirror many times what she wants to say, the impression she wants to give.

She walks up to Gudrun and Ørjan and asks to speak to them privately for a few minutes. They nod even as they look at each other curiously. She dares to glance at Ingrid, her eyes wide, uncomprehending.

They enter Ørjan's private study, and she wrings her hands wondering how to begin. The main point is that she's never done this before; the second most important thing is that she still feels like he won't be a good girlfriend but is dying to ask Ingrid; and the third is that there's no turning back now.

-I...before I talk to you about what I want to talk-she puts her hands in the pocket and then takes them away immediately-I want to thank you for inviting me to share Christmas with your family.

-Maria, kjære ¡you're family! -Gudrun says simply, with a very sincere note.

-You are-her husband affirms.

Mapi weighs the heavy, meaningful words, trying to understand how she is so lucky.

-May I ask why?

-Why do we consider you family? Well, many reasons-Gudrun blinks-we adopted you as a daughter from the day we met you, even when you were so eager to run away. You know, I'm never wrong about that, and I sensed we had to take you in from that very moment."

The Spanish woman snorts with pleasure and Gudrun continues.

-You care about us too, and it's reciprocal. You're kind, and something always told us you were part of us. That you... needed us like we needed you. We love you, Maria, it's that simple.

-You love and care for our grandchildren selflessly-Ørjan adds with a big smile that Mapi returns.

-And there's Ingrid- Gudrun points out.

-You know that, right?

-Something like that- they both respond.

She moves her head, all blushing, trying to hold their gaze.

-That's what I want to talk to you about. About Ingrid and me-the words come more easily than she initially thought, and she alternates between looking from one to the other-well, I want to start by saying that I'm in love with Ingrid, that I have feelings for her. And that I'd like to start a serious relationship, but before asking Ingrid, I needed you all to know. It felt... out of place to come here today and pretend that she and I don't mean anything to each other; or on the contrary, to openly expose ourselves without giving you an explanation. Not because we're not mature enough to take this seriously, but because you're both important to her, and I feel much better if you know that. My intentions are the best, and I just want to take care of Ingrid, just as she already does for me in many ways.

-Maria-neither Gudrun nor Ørjan lost their smile at any moment, but now the woman's eyes are somewhat misty-this was not necessary at all.

-Yes, it is-Mapi affirms-I'm not asking for approval or anything like that, because as I told you, I know what I want. But I can't show up at your house, be with your daughter, and pretend like nothing's happening.

-We appreciate it-Ørjan replies-and it makes us happy.

-You're what every mother wants for her daughter, darling-Gudrun hugs her, and in those few seconds, Mapi wishes she could be what she wants to be for Ingrid, just leave everything behind.

-And I'm afraid Ingrid must be dying of nerves, right? -Ørjan laughs and slowly shakes his head.

-I wanted to do this alone-Mapi clarifies-and I hope she says yes later.

-She'll say yes-the older woman assures her-Oh, God, you took too long.

-We noticed your complete discretion in this regard, Gudrun-Mapi murmurs.

-And I was never wrong.

Mapi snorts a giggle of amusement and feels lighter. She can do this, be better for Ingrid, start something with the girl she's in love with, not let a bad relationship from before influence the one she's about to start.

So she comes out with something resembling an approval that she wasn't really asking for but that she looks like she needed.

-Change that face-she whispers to Ingrid.

-Do you know what I had to endure all these minutes? Anders pestering me, and me not knowing you'd been talking to my parents for so long.

-Oh, poor thing.

-Don't mock me. I'm serious.

-You know what I talked to them about.

Ingrid swallows and raises an inquisitive eyebrow.

-And is everything okay?

-Great, actually- Mapi takes a sandwich and puts it in her mouth with a big triumphant smile.

-And….?

Mapi laughs again at Ingrid's urging but says nothing and discreetly blows her a kiss.

A little while after dinner—moments that Mapi thoroughly enjoyed—with the whole family gathered around the warmth of the fire in the fireplace and the large Christmas tree, Ingrid gets up to get more drinks and Mapi takes the opportunity to follow her, now without any dissimulation.

-Ingrid-she calls, extending a hand.

Ingrid turns around, her lips slowly curving, a question written all over her face. And she takes the hand.

Mapi looks for the spot where she saw the mistletoe and holds back her own silly grin.

-Are we really going to do this, Maria? -She rolls her eyes playfully.

-Okay, wait-Mapi breathes and calms herself.

-Hey, calm down.

-It's a little difficult, but here we go. I know standing under the mistletoe isn't the most original thing in the world, but I told you I wanted to talk to your parents, and I did. And now I want to ask you something.

-I'm all ears, María min.

-Well, we...we're dating and maybe it's too soon to ask you this or maybe not, but I'm really in love with you and you're in love with me, so would you like to...? -Mapi shakes her head and corrects herself- would you like to be my girlfriend?

-Yeah.

The statement comes out softly but quickly. Mapi expected a bit of mockery, perhaps a few agonizing seconds in which Ingrid would take her time and finally say yes, or no, or laugh.

-You didn't hesitate.

-No never.

Ingrid has no doubts. She knows what she knows—and what she doesn't—and well, there's nothing she can do about it right now. And it can't be that bad, or Mapi would have told her before asking her to start a relationship with her. So yes, Ingrid doesn't hesitate at all.

-I'd love to be your girlfriend-Ingrid assures-and to be able to call you my girlfriend.

-That's lovely.

-You are. You're beautiful, Maria, and I feel very lucky.

Mapi would like to refute such a statement, to make her see that she is the one who is fortunate in the whole matter, and in return, she shortens the short distance.

They kiss under the mistletoe, assuming they can live by clichés and old traditions, they smile at each other with their lips pressed together and their hands still joined.

-Well, it looks like the mistletoe is already taken-Gudrun hums happily as if she didn't know beforehand.

-Cover your eyes or you'll be shocked-Anders continues, trembling with mockery.

The whole family is there, and they can't even manage to separate quickly or pretend it's not what it is—why would they? They let the heat rise to their cheeks and tint them pink while everyone is genuinely happy about it.

-Well, I see Ada was right all along-Karl says, putting his hand to his forehead.

-It doesn't speak well of you to argue about our lives.

Gudrun doesn't seem to mind Ingrid's words, as she hugs them both as if they've just proposed or something similar. She's even moved to tears.

-Maria and I are officially dating, you can declare victory, mamma.

-I knew it from the beginning and how happy it makes me!

Frida approaches Mapi and gets her attention by touching her arm.

-Coach Maria, are you my aunt now?

-Well, that's a great title... but maybe a little hasty-Mapi thinks, tapping her chin-How about you and Oscar call me Mapi? We're not at the training center, and you can do it.

-Mapi? That's very strange-says Oscar.

-That's what my best friends call me, huh.

The two children's smiles widen, understanding instantly and starting to call her Mapi every time from then on.

Later, they exchange gifts and stories of all kinds amid laughter and such an uninhibited atmosphere that Mapi forgets what kind of person she was a few months ago. Someone reclusive by choice, refusing to interact with the people around her. She can't imagine ever being that person again.

Now Ingrid casually strokes the back of her hand with her thumb as she answers Ada's question, and she couldn't feel better. It's like something has finally calmed and settled inside her.

Mapi politely declines Gudrun's invitation to stay the night and decides to return home, promising to drive carefully in the snow.

Obviously, she asks the black-haired if she's willing to accompany. Ingrid’s lips curl at the corners, a slight snort being her only response. As if she needs to ask her.

So she drives cautiously on a road covered in ice and snow, in no hurry, furtively glancing at Ingrid who looks back at her.

-Maybe I wasn't entirely eloquent under that mistletoe, but I really want this with you.

-I know.

-I mean... I told you that my last relationship wasn't good, that I was a terrible person, that I handled everything wrong... but I'm not going to be that person with you.

-I know you don't, otherwise you wouldn't have asked me to be your girlfriend.

-Then we'll be fine.

-Yes, my dear. Let's figure this out together, okay?

-Yes-Mapi sighs, concentrating on the road again.

When they get out of the car, neither of them manages to go inside the cabin right away, as if they could read each other's minds, so they approach each other and let the snow slowly cover them, illuminated in the dark night only by the porch light.

There weren't any grand declarations, but both of them felt it right there. They kept quiet about everything they wanted to say.

-What did you do to my heart? -Ingrid whispers more to herself, pressing their foreheads and noses together-I was always so careful, and you came in without me noticing. And my heart...

-I'll take good care of him-Mapi promises, and honesty is written all over her face.

-I trust you.

-You're shaking, come on, let's go home.

Home. Mapi doesn't say this lightly. She opened her home to her, and Ingrid couldn't be more grateful. And she follows her without hesitation.

The night seems very short when they spend it in each other's arms, almost like an established routine, and if Ingrid is already hopelessly captivated by Mapi's kisses and caresses, she does an excellent job of dragging the Spaniard with her.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Mapi is never late anywhere. I mean, she may seem disorganized, and she was a bit a few years ago, but not now. And she's running late for her date with Ingrid. Unforgivable.

It's not a date per se, it's just having a coffee and hot tea at Melhus's Coffee shop, getting out of your routine for a bit, walking around in the cold and snow afterwards, and complaining endlessly about it.

Then she almost flies out of the car without giving herself time to adjust her coat and enters the warm and quite crowded place longing for a cup of hot tea and some bread.

That's relegated to the background as soon as he spots Ingrid, at the most remote table in the corner. With someone else.

Mapi freezes in the doorway until she forces her legs to move. This is so…unexpected.

She swallows hard.

They both stand with slightly cautious smiles, waiting for her to approach first. It's her parents, whom she hasn't seen in almost two years. Her parents are in Melhus, but she never invited them.

She receives her mother's hug first, one that squeezes but doesn't suffocate her, one that gives her a feeling of familiarity and comfort, just like with her father. And then, they're both holding her at the same time. Mapi closes her eyes for a few seconds, allows herself to feel them and let go of all the longing.

-You look beautiful, Maria-Pilar murmurs, combing her messy hair.

-You too, mami.

-We've missed you terribly-Javier adds softly-all this time.

-I know, I...I know...

And he notices Ingrid again, standing behind them, wordlessly but without missing the interaction. Mapi circles the table and walks over to her, still undecided how to feel about all this. On one hand, she's happy to see them, but on the other, she wanted to do it in her own time, on her own terms.

-You already know Ingrid, I see.

-Maria...-the Norwegian hisses, assessing her reaction.

-Ingrid is my girlfriend, I don't know if she introduced herself properly-Mapi says with a touch of pride, seeing the exact moment Javier and Pilar's expressions change and become happier.

-You didn't tell us that, niña-Pilar apparently has a note of reproach that she quickly forgets, leaving a kiss on both Ingrid's and Mapi's cheeks.

-So you're our daughter-in-law-Javier sighs-Well, welcome to the family. I hope we can remedy this thing of not knowing each other so well.

-I probably already imagined it-Pilar points out in a mischievous tone.

Everyone sits down again, and Ingrid takes the orders and takes a few minutes while she's at it. She's been talking to Mapi's parents for a few weeks, after asking Patri for a contact number, introducing herself as Mapi's friend, telling them how much Mapi has progressed, implying that they need to talk and rekindle a relationship that will be good for the Spaniard. Now she's finally reunited with them and watches them chat calmly, but Ingrid still has the feeling that Mapi isn't taking it all that well.

Of course, she doesn't know the whole story, only bits and pieces, so it would be normal for Mapi to seem a little...uneasy at first if she hasn't seen them for a while. And that feeling persists when she returns to the table with the orders and the minutes pass through a conversation that feels as if everyone there is meeting each other for the first time. And Mapi is very tense; Ingrid senses it in the way she grips her teacup without drinking anything at all, in her hard, sharp jaw, the way she swallows, the fingers of her free hand drumming on the table as she looks with sharp, slightly squinted eyes. Was this a mistake, perhaps? It's too early to tell, but Ingrid isn't fooled by her apparent calm.

Yes, Mapi fooled her in the first few minutes and then realized everything, that the Spanish woman is a little upset with the situation.

Ingrid squeezes her leg under the table to reassure her, and Mapi tenses up even more. Damn. She's horrified that she's messed up somehow.

Pilar asks her daughter about absolutely everything, questions that Mapi answers more automatically than out of pleasure in letting them know what her new life is like now.

Javier jokes about the cold and how much his bones are hurting. Ingrid laughs. Mapi doesn't. Where is the woman who proudly introduced her fifteen minutes ago?

-I'm... I'm going to leave you two to catch up-it's not some kind of coward's escape-Ingrid originally planned to have a quick coffee and let them enjoy the time together, give them space.

-Niña, I want to see you soon-Pilar asks, extending her hand to Ingrid.

-Yes, I think…I think that's how it will be.

-I still can't believe I have a daughter-in-law. I've been waiting years for this! -Javier exclaims jokingly-It's been a pleasure, Ingrid.

The hard line formed by Mapi's lips opens slightly to mumble.

-I need a second with you, Ingrid.

They both walk away to the emergency exit and Mapi takes a few seconds to talk.

-Why did you do it? -That tone leaves no room for doubt.

-For you-she answers simply

-Why?

-You need to talk to them, solve whatever you need to solve.

-In my time, Ingrid, can't you respect that? -Mapi pinches the bridge of her nose, hoping to control herself so she doesn't say anything she might regret later.

-Maria, they're your parents. And you told me they've been good to you. What's wrong with them coming to see you? I respect your time and wishes, but you'd keep putting it off for many more months.

-It's my decision.

-Listen, Maria…

-Does being a couple give you the right to decide something like that? If what you wanted was to surprise me, you succeeded, but I'm not happy about it at all. You should have asked me, you should have consulted me.

Ingrid takes a deep breath, learning about this side of Mapi for the first time, and even that doesn't dissuade her from thinking that what she did was the right thing.

-I'm not going to apologize, Maria-she replies-Do you know what I saw a few minutes ago? How your eyes lit up when I saw them, and regardless of what you might be feeling right now, I'm sticking with that.

-You don't understand-Mapi denies, shaking her head slowly.

-Well, help me understand.

-You think everything is easy, that because they're here everything is already fixed. That a few words will take away...everything. Everything bad. Everything bad that I was.

-I don't know how bad you've been or what else happened before because you won't tell me-Ingrid points out a little sourly-Whenever you decide to do so, I'm willing to listen. Now, you can be angry about the fact that your parents traveled hours to an unknown place you never invited them to, just to see you, or you can be happy to resume your relationship with them. I'd think a little more about acting like a child.

Ingrid turns around, walking away without any hurry and waving a hand to Mapi's parents in greeting.

And Mapi could leave the exchange there, cool her thoughts, and think deeply about how right Ingrid is with her argument. But she's irritated and still amazed by the brunette's actions, and she follows her outside without hesitation.

-You can't go behind my back.

-Please, Maria-when Ingrid turns around she has her hands in a defensive position, obviously not wanting to start something bigger-all I wanted was a nice surprise, okay?

-I'm serious, Ingrid. You had to consult me, at least. So you've been talking to them and couldn't tell me? We've only been together for three days.

-Oh yeah? and in any case, I thought one thing has nothing to do with the other. You know perfectly well I would have done it regardless of whether we were dating or not.

-Just like that?

-Yes. And this isn't about me, it's about you.

-I don't like that you did it without telling me.

-I can't say I'm sorry. And I'm not going to say it again. You can be mad, or you can be happy that they're here for you.

-I…don't even know how to feel.

-You'll know-Ingrid assures, remaining calm. As much as she wants to offer some kind of comfort, she doesn't. -I... I'm not going to bother you. You can find me if you want.

-No, Ingrid, wait.

-Go with your parents-she points with her chin, putting the hands in her coat pockets-I'll be at my parents' house a few days later if you want to stop by.

Mapi returns to the cafeteria, regretting her lack of tact and rushed words, trying to recover from the shock.

-Is everything okay, Maria?

-Yes papi.

-This girl Ingrid-says Javier smiling pleased-has been very kind talking to us, very sweet.

-She's like that.

-We were afraid you wouldn't like this, daughter-Pilar adds-You never wanted us here, but we were so eager to see you.

-I know, mami- she holds back her tears and grits her teeth-I know I never invited you or anything, but it's because of me, it has nothing to do with you.

The two older Spaniards look at each other and nod, and then Mapi learns that Ingrid organized the entire trip for them, helping with transportation and accommodation there in Melhus.

It's true that Mapi hasn't decided how to feel yet, but Ingrid doing something so selfless sends a pang through her chest, something that spreads outward from there.

And she just pushed her away like he always pushes everyone away.

-Wouldn't it be better to stay with me? The cabin is remote, but if it doesn't snow too much, you can come and go without any problem if you get bored of being there.

-Only if you don't mind, Maria.

-I'm offering it, mami. Come on, let's go pick up your belongings-she says decisively.

Well, the day didn't go as she expected. She didn't return home with Ingrid, but with her parents, and she had to figure out how to apologize to the Norwegian woman properly.

Catching up with Pilar and Javier isn't that difficult. Telling them about their daily routine, down to the last detail, isn't too complicated. Talking about training, the kids, working in the cabin, showing them the greenhouse. All of this makes the first two days fly by, along with the walks around the area and enjoying the little bit of sunshine they get.

And without Ingrid. Not even a few simple messages, nothing.

Her parents ask questions about her, of course, but they haven't delved too deeply, perhaps hoping she'll speak for herself.

-Aren't you and Ingrid into spending time together?

-We do-Mapi replies, looking over her shoulder at her mother, waiting to see if she continues.

-She hasn't come.

-Yes, she'll do it soon-Mapi dismisses, lying at the same time. She knows Ingrid is rightly angry and hurt.

-We'd just like to get to know you a little better. We've never… met anyone who's dating you.

-I haven't dated anyone worth it-she says before even thinking about it and biting her tongue.

Bringing up Sara isn't right. Making her mother relive that isn't right either.

-Does she treat you well?

-Yes, mami-she answers sincerely and hopes she sees it-Ingrid is wonderful.

Pilar murmurs a guttural response and continues with her work. Until she stops seconds later.

-Maria.

-Tell me, mommy.

-Were you mad at her? Because she brought us here.

Mapi could have said no, and she certainly would have at another time. However, Pilar knows her and probably noticed their somewhat heated conversation two days ago.

-Yes-she admits-I think I said things that upset her. I'm so stupid I don't know what to say.

Pilar stops peeling potatoes and approaches her daughter, taking her arm so that she too can leave her lunch alone for a few minutes.

-I'm sorry if you weren't prepared to have us here, but you don't have to be mad at her.

Mapi shakes her head.

-How come you still want to talk to me after how I treated you?

-María, the past is the past-Pilar says sweetly-You have to learn to let it go. We love you, hija, and we're here no matter how much time has passed, the silences, the unspoken things, what you suffered alone and what we couldn't face with you. We're here to fix our relationship, okay?

-Okay.

-But don't be mad at your girlfriend. That girl is golden. Look what she did for you! She told us you needed this.

-I...need it, mami-Mapi sniffs softly-it just took me by surprise, I thought I needed more time to think about how to approach you.

-You know that if you kept thinking about it, you'd never decide, and Ingrid knows that too, and she made a decision for you. Was it the wrong one? Because your father and I can leave right now and wait for you to come find us. You know we would. But that girl? You have a life here with her. Don't let a tantrum make you lose your way.

That's so true. It doesn't matter that Ingrid has been her girlfriend for less than a week. Mapi recounts the entire time before that, how she crept into her life little by little, filling it with clarity, affection, and understanding; the way she's always been there even before they were friends, letting her live in a place she owns without even knowing her.

Ingrid has been unconditional since day one and she pushed her away, getting angry over such a good deed as she did.

-No…I don’t want you to leave.

-We won't do it then.

-I'm going to see her later. Ingrid.

-That's it, cabezota.

Mapi sips and laughs again, returning to her cooking, more determined than before to solve her silly argument with Ingrid.

I trust you.

And at the first sign of anger or trouble, Mapi walked away without trying to fix things. She's so ridiculous when it comes to feelings.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

It's relatively early in the afternoon, it's snowing quite a bit, and Mapi doesn't mind driving at night, but she rushes to bring in firewood with her father so she can be at Gudrun's house early to spend time with Ingrid.

She misses Ingrid.

-Looks like you have a visitor-Javier says, almost breathless.

And although hope blossoms and he wants to discover Ingrid's red Lotus, she sees Ørjan's SUV.

But it's Ingrid who makes the coffee while Pilar cuts Mapi's favorite cake, the one Gudrun got her addicted to. And the black-haired gives her a shy smile, one of those sideways smiles that makes her heart skip a beat and start a frantic gallop at the same time.

Mapi doesn't mind striding across the room and hugging Ingrid as much as she has wanted to do the past few days, deprived of it by herself.

-I missed you, prinsessen min.

-I'm here-she replies, placing a brief kiss on her lips-Come, there's a nice hot cup of tea with your name on it.

-But we have to…

-Yes, talk. Later, okay?

Ingrid takes charge, pouring and passing cups, leading the conversation, sharing sparks of her usual warmth. It's not like at the cafeteria, where Mapi was dazed and angry. This is different, and she sinks into the feeling, smiling like a fool, allowing everything to continue settling inside her.

She doesn't hide her hand when Ingrid reaches for it, she doesn't stick out her cheek when she leaves her a kiss in passing. In fact, she herself is constantly seeking out any contact with Ingrid. Never before has everything felt so light.

-Ingrid, will you welcome the new year with us?

-Mmm, I don't know. Honestly...

-I haven't asked her yet, papi-Mapi clicks her tongue and looks directly at Ingrid-do you already have plans?

-The usual. At Ada's house.

-That's great-the Spanish woman replies.

At night, with her parents already in bed, she and Ingrid sit in front of the fire enjoying each other's company. Mapi has a book in her hands that she isn't really reading, and Ingrid works on crossword puzzles with concentration, oblivious to all the chaos inside Mapi, who is sorting through her thoughts one by one.

-Would you like to spend New Year's Eve with us?

-Of course-Ingrid doesn't even look up, but the corners of her mouth twitch.

Mapi returns to the book and reads a few lines, losing concentration again.

-Mom sent you a message today, right?

-It's just a mother's thing, isn't it? But I thought it was sweet-the Norwegian woman laughed, thinking about the message-She told me you're stubborn, hard-headed, strong-willed but sweet. And most importantly, they want to get to know me better.

-Did he say all that?

-And he added that you were going to talk to me. That's why I came. I thought I'd save you the trip and stay here with you while I was at it.

-Because you missed me…

-Yeah, don't get cocky, you know that.

-I like hearing it, that's all.

Ingrid kisses the back of his hand softly and then bites her lip.

-And what do you want to talk about?

Mapi spits and moves a little in the chair.

-I didn't take what you did very well.

-The understatement of the century.

-Well, it's true that I didn't like them-Mapi concedes-I'm still trying to...reconcile with them, but that's not your fault. I'm sorry, okay? Because you went out of your way to bring them here and surprise me, and I was stupid. It's just... there's so much I have to sort out, and I don't even know where to start; so much to say.

-The beginning is fine-Ingrid says calmly, resting her head comfortably on her fist as if she were expecting a big talk.

-It's not easy.

Mapi stands up, perhaps hoping the words would just come out or perhaps because she's nervous, and puts her hands in her pockets, alternating between looking at Ingrid and the dancing flames.

Breathe in and out a couple of times. Starting from the beginning is sometimes more complicated than it seems.

-My ex-girlfriend, Sara. She died.

-I know- and before Mapi asks anything, Ingrid answers alone- Patri let it slip.

-You never told me anything.

-I was waiting for you to do it.

-God! -Mapi squeezes her eyes shut-I don't know how you have so much patience for me. Ingrid, it's so hard for me to talk about all this. It's delicate, it's...it hurt so much, and that pain comes back sometimes.

Ingrid doesn't answer, just nods slightly, waiting for him to continue.

-Sara died, you know that, but you don't know what I did to make that happen-Mapi's harsh voice and almost expressionless expression take Ingrid by surprise-You have no idea how much guilt I feel about her death, how I did nothing to prevent it because I pushed her into it. If it weren't for me, she'd be alive.

-Maria…