A beautiful woman
Barcelona, February 2025
“-You can't, Mapi, it's the middle of the season.
-Who says I can't? It's my life and my fucking decision.
-I'm saying it! You can't just abandon us in the middle of the season, you selfish fool.
-Oh, may no one dare go against the wishes of Alexia Putellas, God forbid! Is the sky going to fall or what? -Mapi growled with a sour and poisonous sarcasm-What do you think? I can and I will do it.
-What about the team? We expect more from you.
-Well, you shouldn't, considering everything that's happened.
Alexia is breathing fire through her nose and Mapi doesn't care in the slightest. She can be yelling, breaking things or hitting her and she won't change her mind. The great captain, practically the mother of Barça Women. Alexia has been in the club all her life and believes that she is the owner of other people's decisions.
The great friendship they once shared was already a memory, but little by little it faded away over the years until they became good teammates and then not even that. Alexia never understood everything she had to face, how she dealt with guilt and pain, she only assumed that going to therapy would bring miraculous improvements or that being on the field everything else could be put aside. She never sat down to talk to her properly and only dedicated herself to accusing her.
-You are not my owner, Alexia, or anyone else on the team-Mapi mutters too subduedly-if I want to retire, I'll retire. If I want to go to the fucking bore Real Madrid or any other shitty team, I'll go. Who do you think you are? Because we're halfway through the season? You yourself told me that I'm not contributing anything, that I'm bothering the center-backs who come after me.
-It's not like I said it- Alexia defends herself.
-That's exactly how it was-Mapi replies-and it doesn't matter anymore. I made the decision, and I stand by it, I'm retiring. Against Levante will be my last game.
-You can't be so impulsive...
-Fuck you, Alexia-Mapi spits-I'm not being impulsive or hasty. And I think I took too long, I should have done this a year ago.
Alexia remains in disbelief before her, her mouth open, no other sharp words ready to come out.
-I thought about it, you know I did. There's nothing football can offer me anymore.
-You can regret it.
-No, I'm sorry that's not what you want to hear, but I don't enjoy playing anymore-Mapi sighs tiredly-I wish you all the best of luck- Mapi murmurs sincerely-I'm sure that you will win all the titles from now on without the hindrance that you have been carrying for so long"
May 2026
Mapi has her life perfectly organized and a set routine for day to day from which she does not deviate much. She, who personally never had much of a plan, lets herself be guided by habits and self-imposed rules: she gets up with the first light of the sun, goes out to breathe the fresh air until her lungs burn, meditates for half an hour or walks and meditates before going to sleep, takes a shower, has breakfast and so on, until she gets to work. Oh, and before that, she feeds Freki and Geri, her two spotted cats, and the ten chickens that provide her with fresh eggs every day; and in the afternoons, housework, a bit of gym, a walk through the forest or going for a run at dusk. She repeats it over and over again, but she does not feel like a robot, she likes to have everything set, to know what to expect.
She is no longer Mapi León, the star defender of FC Barcelona, now she is just María, unknown to everyone, even to those who knew her. She has already left behind the glorious career she knew how to build and there are only beautiful memories that she tries not to remember too much so as not to become nostalgic.
Maria, as the few people who know her near her new home call her, is the little Spanish football coach who trains boys and girls three times a week. Nobody knows much more about her than that, and that's fine. She doesn't want to open up and reveal herself to anyone either; she likes to be half anonymous and barely allows herself to enjoy the haven of peace she found a year ago.
Gone are the days when football took over every aspect of her life, when it took over everything and Mapi gave it to her. She gave her all to her career without thinking about anything else and it didn't go badly for her, she is a historic player who retired too early. That's what everyone says, that she cut her career short when she probably had five or six more years left in the elite if injuries didn't corner her again.
She doesn't care what they say anymore, she's not even close to Spain or thinking about going back to listen to the load of shit about the retirement.
She is now living her life far away and the peace of mind that this brings her is priceless. She likes Norway despite the harsh first winter that took her by surprise a few months ago. But everything else is wonderful, discoveries everywhere, life in the open air, long walks, peace of mind.
If it weren't for Caro, he probably wouldn't have any of that. His Norwegian teammate-ex teammate-was the only one who offered him a way out, a chance. No one else did, everyone wanted him to keep playing, to seek help - as if the months and months of therapy he faced over and over again weren't enough! They wanted him to think it over carefully because he was still at the top of his career. Everything was based on him considering it coldly as if the decision he made was not the right one.
Caro was the only one who approached her one day, weeks after announcing her retirement, and told her about a job in her hometown in Norway for boys and girls who were looking for a coach, and who had not been able to find one for months. Nothing too complicated and, yes, far from the spotlight on her in Spain. At first, Mapi hesitated because getting away from football was all she wanted, but when she saw the proposal and read it carefully, she considered it. The place looked beautiful, the work was quite bearable, and, above all, she no longer knew what to do since the moment football stopped directing her life. She thought a lot and did not decide on anything to keep herself busy.
She had offers to join television programmers, to cover matches, to debate football and all that, and nothing appealed to her. But she didn't feel comfortable shut away in her flat in Barcelona either; sometimes she would visit her parents or go out with friends occasionally and then shut herself away again; curiously, she never questioned the decision to retire at 30 despite finding herself with nothing to do for the first time in fifteen years.
So, there she was, doing what she loved but in a completely different way. Coaching had never crossed her mind, but she had developed a certain taste for it, especially for dealing with children.
It's not like she didn't deal with adults, because she had to, but it was mostly just her and the kids and that was great. Nothing else was missing in her life, she felt very secure about it, everything was in perfect order, and it would stay that way...or so she thought.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
The day started very early as usual, sunny and cool. Geri was curled up on her head and Freki at her feet, and that was not usual because both were well educated by Mapi and knew that they either slept at her feet or in their own beds. They were jealous of each other, and Mapi enjoyed all that attention. When she adopted them six months ago by pure chance it hadn't even crossed her mind to have two cats, not even a dog, but she met this wonderful woman at the market after bumping into each other, they became fast friends and less than five minutes later, Mapi was accepting to have two kittens who were quickly left without a mother and who would not survive the harsh winter. From a neighbor of another neighbor. That's what the woman said.
Mapi found it endearing that the tall black-haired woman thought it would be very lonely living in her cabin away from the world. If only she knew that was all Mapi wanted.
Now she had the two most spoiled cats in the world who reminded her, from time to time, why never had pets before.
Mapi is getting ready to leave and there they are, as if she could carry them. She strokes them between the ears and leaves.
She doesn't live that far from Melhus, just a five-minute drive and a little more on foot. But the work is in Trondheim, a bigger city and a bit further away, so she always leaves well in advance.
The training center is not big or anything, but it is curiously very popular, as if all the children from miles around wanted to go to her practices, and that is why she divides the training sessions into two groups of one hour each with some recreational games at the end. Everything is well equipped, and they have made a lot of progress from one year to the next with almost the same boys and girls. She does not make any distinctions, in fact, she loves having six girls who have never missed a single exercise and a newer one who is just getting used to it.
-God dag-she says in her rehearsed Norwegian, which she struggles to get through. She never thought that learning a language could be so difficult.
The children greet each other enthusiastically, and Mapi high-fives everyone while some parents say goodbye.
It's the turn of the first group. They do warm-ups, exercises, goalkeepers on one side, defenders against forwards. There's something for everyone and Mapi can handle them all, even though she was a defender. She does the same with the second group.
She loves her job. There is something magical about a child's laughter that brings her peace and that makes that peace follow her for the rest of the day.
-Oscar, if you position yourself like this-Mapi speaks to him in English and positions herself in such a way that he can imitate her-you can block your opponent better.
The clever ten-year-old nods and gets it right the first time. Mapi cheers and congratulates him loudly.
Another different case is her sister, who is a year younger, who is shy and hardly comes out of her shell. Mapi does not insist with her but tries to make her keep up with the others.
The heat advances quickly and by midday, when finishes with the second group, she feels the sweat breaking through her layers of sportswear.
One by one the children are taken away by responsible adults until she is left with Oscar and Frida, the two sweet little siblings who seem very close. At least he is protective of her.
-Don't worry, I'll stay until your father comes to pick you up-Mapi reassures them with a smile.
-Pappa isn't coming today-says Frida.
Mapi hums a response with her mouth full of water and without stopping drinking.
The minutes pass and Mapi fears that they have been forgotten, although it would be so strange. The children's father has been taking them and picking them up every day since they started training a month and a half ago.
Until a car stops outside and Mapi smiles at them encouragingly.
-Mormor! -the two children exclaim excitedly but, at the same time, quite restrainedly.
They speak in rapid Norwegian, which Mapi's still untrained ear can't keep up with.
Mapi smiles at Gudrun, the culprit of the two black beasts she has at home and greets her effusively as she always does when she sees her. The Norwegian, she can say, is the only friend she has made in months and that is enough for her. She is kind, she cares about her, she makes cakes and delicious things for her, and together with her husband, they have invited her to a meal a couple of times, even though Mapi always reminds her that she does not like to leave the house much. But, even so, something in Gudrun's posture or harmonious expression makes Mapi want to see her or chat for a while.
-Maria, it's a pleasure to see you-the older woman says breathlessly-I'm sorry I'm late, my daughter was supposed to pick they up today and she couldn't.
-Don't worry, Gudrun-answers Mapi.
Now she understood why the two little brothers looked disappointed. They were waiting for their mother. It made her feel a pang of longing for her own mother, so far away from her in every way.
-I haven't seen you around the market lately- it doesn't seem like a reproach, but it is and it makes Mapi smile slightly- nor anywhere in the town.
-I don't have much time, you know-it's not entirely a lie-but my chickens are determined to lay more eggs than I need, so I'll pay you a visit soon, okay?
Gudrun nods, squeezes her hand and leads the two children away, who begin to tell her about everything they did that morning.
Mapi packs her things and goes home as usual. A cabin surrounded by forest with the Gaula River winding nearby and no neighbors nearby. Dreamlike. Courtesy of Caro's family.
She was telling the truth when she said she was busy, she always is with one thing or another. And it's better that way than having free time to think about things that are behind us.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Just two days later-training sessions are usually on Monday, Wednesday and Friday-she repeats the routine with the groups and adds games at the end to entertain and relax them; she chats with some parents and is grateful that her rudimentary English allows to communicate.
Frida remains on the sidelines, sitting with her head down, and Mapi inspires a terrible feeling of protectiveness in her, not only because she knows Gudrun, but because she seems so shy and unprotected. She crouches down to her level and smiles at her.
-Hey, you don't like games? We can do anything else you want.
-Yes, I like them-murmurs the black-haired girl-but I like playing with a ball more.
-We can do that until they come to pick you up.
Mapi offers her a hand, which she finally takes, and they go in search of a ball. Frida smiles openly and begins to chat about how much she plays at home with Oscar and Dad every afternoon when they come home from school. Mapi lets her talk, knowing that she needs to do so, something tells her that the girl needs it very much.
Mapi doesn't know it yet, but that day is the day her life will change and everything she thought about falling in love again, too. In addition, living as a hermit would be put to the test. Of course, reaching that conclusion would take her a long time.
And the blame lies with two green eyes as striking as if they are mysterious, which suddenly appear to steal her peace. A green so clear that, depending on the light that reaches them, they seem translucent. Mapi notices all this in the course of a few seconds, looking at the goddess who was standing in a corner watching them.
Frida stops paying attention to the ball and runs screaming until she throws herself into the arms of the tall, black-haired woman who is running around with her. And Oscar does the same without being left behind.
Mapi watches, not without a certain fascination, both for the children and for the woman she had not seen until that day. She shakes her head, confused as to why she cannot take her eyes off her, and does so finally to say goodbye to other parents until next week.
With Frida and Oscar each holding hands, the black-haired approaches.
-Hallo, hvordan har du det? Det er en glede å møte deg, jeg er Ingrid (Hello, how are you? It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Ingrid)
Mapi purses her mouth, brows, and is about to scratch the back of her neck, nervous about not understanding much more than hello and maybe Ingrid?
-Mmm, hei…
-Coach Maria is Spanish-says Frida in a clear and soft voice-we speak with her in English.
-Oh, I'm sorry, I remember someone telling me that-the black-haired apologizes after listening carefully to the girl-I'm Ingrid, it's a pleasure.
-Maria-is all Mapi can say, and it's silly considering the other already knows her name.
She pushes aside the unexplained pulling in the center of his chest, as if something were poking him there and pulling him out again and again very slowl . A probable heart attack.
-I'm taking these two little devils with me today-she laughs, and God, she's so beautiful-until next week.
Mapi slightly tilts her head and waves her hand at Oscar and Frida, who chatter away just as they did with their grandmother days before. The resemblance between Ingrid and Gudrun is incredible, and also with little Frida. Green eyes, black hair, very tall.
Only Mapi knows that she has seen those eyes before, but she doesn't know where, and since she doesn't believe it was in a premonitory dream, she quickly pushes the thought away. She is clearly getting confused. It is the first time she has seen Ingrid, daughter of Gudrun, mother of Oscar and Frida, wife of Karl. She intertwines everything like a great chain, and it is better to keep it fresh in her head.
She stops by Melhus before heading home for some really necessary shopping that will make her spend the weekend completely relaxed without having to go out. Anybody can't live on eggs. Or so they say. Eggs that she agreed to take to Gudrun and that she might leave in a basket behind the door to avoid the chatter she doesn't want.
She drives slower than usual because she can and because she likes to look out the window and appreciate the landscape. Unusually, she passes some cars on the road, which she doesn't pay attention to. It is true that she lives in a remote area and there are no neighbors nearby, but there are some houses farther away, and it is not unusual for more vehicles to pass by at times.
Upon arrival, she checks some emails from the sports department of the mayor's office where they inform her of a small children's tournament to be held in two weeks. It's not that they're giving her much advance notice, but she can attend.
And she also checks her phone out of habit, in case she missed a call or text, and the oddity of the day comes back to haunt her. A single message from Caro asking her to call her.
M-Caro, hello.
C-Hey, Mapi, is everything okay?
M-Yes, yes, are you? Did something happen?
Caro makes a quiz from the other side of the line and Mapi asks herself a thousand questions about it.
C-Yeah… listen, I want to talk to you about the house. The cabin you live in.
M-I'm listening.
C-Um... well, it seems there's a real estate developer that wants to buy the land. My father wasn't convinced at all, especially considering that we're renting it to you, but they've been after him for a while and I think he's finally going to sell.
The news comes as a shock to Mapi. Unexpected.
M-But do I live here? We have an arrangement, Caro.
C-I know and I'm sorry, I really am, I tried to change his mind but he's going to sell. He says he can't refuse; this development has already bought up most of the lots around it and he thinks it would be surrounded and isolated, and the cabin would be useless.
M-I would have it for myself.
C-We don't know if you're going to live there forever, Mapi.
Mapi was convinced that this would be the case.
M- Can I talk to him, please, Caro?
C-You can, of course, but he is inflexible, I'm sorry, Mapi. I'll help you from here, we'll get another accommodation quickly.
Seconds later, Mapi hangs up and is left with the phone in her hand and many thoughts in the mind. The house is not hers, but she feels it is hers and she has made it hers. She likes every little corner, it has all her things, her two kittens are growing up there, she has chickens and even a small nursery to which she puts a lot of dedication and care.
And now she just has to leave? Maybe Caro's father will consider selling him. It's a huge plot of land that includes part of the forest and reaches down to the river, of course it must be worth a lot, but could they come to an agreement? Mapi knows her finances and knows she can afford it.
It doesn't take long for her to call Caro's father, whom she has seen on a few occasions and curses herself for not being able to speak better Norwegian, because miraculously that would make her feel closer. They talk for a long time, the man explains, Mapi listens and explains her side, makes the offer and he apologizes profusely and he reject it. The deal with real estate development is practically closed or will be by next week.
Her heart breaks at this. Even, he adds that she can surely speak to the owner to come to an arrangement that will allow her to stay for a while until she finds another place to stay.
'She's a friend of Caro's, she'll surely do you that favor' is all he said, and he said goodbye with excuses. Mapi can't blame him either, he's his property and a very valuable one.
With vague ideas about what to do from here, she heads to the nursery located next to the house where she has some vegetables, fruit trees and flower plants that he takes great care of. It is not big, just a couple of square meters, but it is the little place where everything comes to life and grows. She entertains herself by moving a little soil, watering and pruning.
Time goes by very quickly when you dedicate it to those activities that you always called “being a bored lady of life”; and she didn't even have a proper lunch, so a tea and a simple toast with egg will suffice before doing some gym work.
Tiredness is so good that it gets under her bones and always allows her to fall asleep quickly. There was a time when insomnia was so common that it was more normal to spend the whole night doing things you didn't do during the day.
But that night, her own mind betrays her. Quietly between the sheets, ready to rest, two pairs of green eyes peek behind her eyelids. They're not just any eyes. And it's such a silly thing. They're just pretty eyes. Why does she have to remember them so vividly?
She knows she's seen that look before, and not exactly at the training center, and yet there's no point in playing it over and over again. She shifts around, finds different positions, covers herself with a blanket, uncovers herself, groans in frustration, and squeezes her eyes shut once more, ready to fight herself.