Cries of deserted birds.

MARY CHAPTER:

26th September 1975.

Mary turned sixteen on a Saturday.

She didnt feel the way a sixteen-year-old girl was supposed to feel. Or did she? She wasnt sure, maybe that was the entire scheme of it.

Was the girl she was now older than the one she was yesterday, more mature, more womanlike?

When she woke up the morning of her birthday, her two closest friends were gone. Both beds are empty. Lilys was neat, she made up her bed, unlike Marlene and Mary who both didnt mind the mess.

Sort of like them.

It was ten o´clock.

Fine, it was fine, it wasnt a big deal really. She might see them through the day. They´d greet her, sing for her, worship her like they did every birthday.

Birthdays were Mary´s favourites. Even if it wasnt her one, she adored it. Celebrating a person, a single person on the day they came to the world, how couldn´t one love birthdays? She loved people, and that meant celebrating the ones she loved a special day in the year was sacred, the one day they allowed themselves to be showered with attention.

Even if the girl loved attention, her favourite thing about her own birthdays were the memories, the laughs, and the people sharing smiles only cause of her being born. Being happy around her, Mary had never wanted anything else from her friends.

The empty room felt too cold for her liking, so she pulled on a white turtle neck before she walked downstairs. To see if her best friends were down there, where else would two Gryffindor girls spend a Saturday morning–

Never mind that, if Marlene was awake at seven in the morning, she had to be at the pitch.

She wasnt sure about Lily´s whereabouts, she rarely was sure of her lately. After what she´d overheard, she had felt betrayal. Betrayal was in her blood, she had gone angry for an entire week, ignoring her redheaded friend. Marlene hadn't treated her differently, but the last week she´d been sort of distant. It was odd, everything was, if Mary was a different girl she´d confront them. Being sixteen didnt change that.

The stairs squeaked when she walked in them, it reminded her of the stairs at home. OH home, maybe she´d gotten letters from her family.

The common room was empty, which was not surprising since it was very early in the morning, one thing the students appreciated was their Saturday mornings, being able to sleep as long as.

All but James Potter apparently.

“Hiya Mary,” Even though he looked a bit stressed, he smiled at her, with his perfect smile. Why did he have to be so him? With his charisma and charm, any girl with half a brain would choose him.

“Hi James, why are you up so early?” she asked while analysing what he was wearing. James was wearing proper clothes, the expensive kind. Clothes Mary could only dream to afford. He had a weird sense of style, it suited him though. Nonetheless, Mary knew she had a better style, not that it was a competition, was it?

She sort of felt bad for having mean thoughts about him, cause he was honestly a sweetheart. And he hadn't done any wrong. He was just like her, a fool in love.

“Heh you know– hangin' ´round, like to wake up early, get the most out of the day, yeah,” he was playing with his hair, the silly sod. “But you, what are you doing up so early?” he asked her, smirking slightly.

Did he not know?

“Oh, ´s a special day you see,” she tried to search for anything on his face that gave away that he was joking. He looked serious, as serious as the silly boy could.

Suddenly James bolted up as a realisation hit him. “RIGHT, ´s Saturday practice tonight, god I love that stuff, you should come watch, ´s very entertaining I promise.” Did he ever think of anything other than quidditch?

“Yes sure, not like I got other plans,” she bit her tongue, giving him a small smile.

“Shit, I forgot to tell Mckinnon wants to meet ya, she told me to send you after her, didnt want to wake ya up,” he mumbled while pushing her easily towards the door. The strength of the boy was unfair, even though he didnt meet much resistance.

“Wait— Potter, I haven't–” she said, but the portrait that concealed the entrance to the room, met her eyes as it closed, no sight of the messy-haired boy.

She stood in the hallway in her plaid shorts, and slippers. Good thing it was a Saturday morning cause else she would have died of embarrassment.

Marlene. Right, the girl was apparently lookin for her. Wanting to chat? Odd.

Maybe it was a birthday thing?

The curly-haired girl didnt bother trying to get back in, she had the memory of a goldfish either way, so she didnt remember the password of the week. The reason she always made sure she was around a Gryffindor before going back to the dorm. It was a useful thing, being popular.

Instead, she walked down the hallways, ignoring the stares from the portraits, they were old tarts anyway.

This school was huge, how the fuck was she supposed to find her, James hadn't even bothered telling Mary where her friend was.

While pacing, she accidentally crashed into a familiar someone. “Remus Hi!!” she smiled at the tall boy. Wow, he had at least grown ten cm over the summer.

“Mary,” he greeted her with a familiar smile, skin creasing around his mouth. That was until he looked her up and down, “´xcuse my language, but what the fuck are you wearing love.” The boy could be quite judgemental, but she loved when he was. It was a side he didnt show very often unless he was proper drunk or tired, that's when he got a bit mean too, but Mary had never minded that.

“Don't I look good?” she tilted her head, she had always enjoyed the playful banter they had. It never felt forced or hurried, like it did with her boyfriends.

Remus didn't bother lying, “you know you look good you silly geneth.” Mary liked when he dropped welsh words in his sentences, it was odd at first, but made sense when you spent more time with the lad.

She wished she knew another language. Her mother spoke, but never passed it on to Mary, she knew some phrases, but not the entire dialect. Mary´s father had been a proper Dominican catholic. He spoke Spanish, danced a lot, and smiled more than her mother ever had. Mary remembered him vaguely, but it felt like she would have liked him, maybe he´d like her too.

“Exactly, now it was your mate Potter who chased me out of the dorm,” she remembered why she was standing there in her slippers.

Remus chuckled, “sounds an awful lot like the bastard, wait shit, I almost forgot,” he smiled stupidly.

Wait, did he mean—

“Sirius,” he said instead. For fucks sake, how bloody hard was it remembering one day.

“Have you seen Sirius, im lookin for the wanker, he´s done me wrong,” Remus said vengefully, the dark look in his eyes was unmistakable.

“Can't say I have, sorry Rem, have you—”

“A-HA, there you are you fuckin dog,” Remus muttered, with a smile on his lips as his widened looking at the wall behind them, where blue eyes and a dashing smile met them.

“Come and get me moony,” he shouted loud before continuing to run away, his loud laugh was probably be heard in the entire castle, and his black hair flashed before them, as the boy continued his run.

Remus ran straight after him, not wasting a second, limping a tad while doing so. Poor boy. Mary had always felt bad for him, he had some sort of chronic illness, that he didnt like talking about. That was why he found himself in the hospital wing, too often than what was normal.

But Mary hadn't been able to ask her question to the lanky boy either.

Both boys were gone, but their laughter was still heard.

After she´d walked for a while she realised how empty the school was this early, there was no one around. And it wasnt even an exaggeration, she had only seen the three boys, and a couple of first-years jumping rope.

She´d given up on finding Marlene after a while, if the blonde thought she was going to run around the castle looking for her on her birthday she was a fool. Maybe Mary would run into her, she took her chances.

The weather wasnt too bad, a bit cold, but that was to be expected, this was Scotland, and they were almost in October.

It didnt help that she was still in the thin pair of shorts, even if she wore a warm turtleneck, her legs felt cold. She regretted not changing before leaving the castle, but it was too late.

She was halfway up the stairs to the owlery tower, which had way too many to many stairs. The girl was on her fourth break, trying to catch her breath. If she hadn't got any mail now, she´d probably break down.

When Mary was finally free from the torture that was on the stairs, she ran over to see if Marlene's owl was there.

Mary´s family had no clue how wizard posts worked, not that she expected them to know. So they usually sent the post to Marlene's muggle address, and they would send it to Hogwarts with Marlene and Rez´ owl, which her friend was happy to let her borrow, since she didnt have one of her own. The owl was a girl, named Sorcha, she was a cute little brown thing.

But the owl wasnt there. Mary was up here enough to know where the brown owl´s little box of a place was. And Sorcha wasnt there.

This day just kept fucking her.

And it all felt bad, her legs were cold and tired, and the stairs were there, and they were so long, and she had spent half an hour walking up them for nothing.

The stairs looked really appealing, appealing to throw herself down them.

“Fuckin bitchass bird, what kind of name is Sorcha, bound to be useless” she cursed the owl's name unfairly, cause it wasnt her fault.

“Eh, Mary? ´s that you?”

What?

Was there someone here with her?

Mary turned to face the voice she knew.

Fuck.

Long black straight hair, curious eyes, and a style too absurd to be anything but brilliant.

“Why hello miss Emmeline,” she tried to pretend as if she just hadn't embarrassed herself in front of the cool girl.

Because Emmeline Vance was. She looked like a model, and that was big coming from Mary. Her beauty was timeless. Maybe it was her angelic eyes and prominent cheeks. Or her light but warm skin that made her look radiant even in the dark. Mary couldn't put exactly what made the girl so beautiful, but she knew that she was.

She had met the girl last year, unsurprisingly at a party, Ravenclaw one, and Mary had apparently stolen her shoes after being pissed out of her mind, the next day the girl showed up at her class, joking about the previous night. Needless to say, they became friends. Emmeline even let her keep them. The pair of shoes.

If the girl was scared or found this amusing, she did a terrible job on hiding both. Emmeline looked mortified, but she laughed.

“Who´s Sorcha?” she asked in between the laughs. “Thats a Gaelic name innit?”

“Yeah, she´s marls owl, and very Scottish, both of them.” she joked.

And Emmeline simply smiled. “Very true, y´know the first time I met her, she introduced herself as Scottish before telling me anything else, funny girl.”

“Absolutely hilarious.” Mary did not find the blonde funny right then.

“Why were you cursing the poor owl's name, didn't take you for a snappy girl.” the black-haired Ravenclaw leaned against the entrance.

“OI im not—” she answered back snappily, but when she saw the other girl smirk, she stopped herself. “Im not snappy, ´s just the owls not here and i walked all the way up here, and my legs are sore, this day ´s been so bad, and it was supposed to– well i dunno, be better?” she was rambling on, but it was sort of nice.

“Thats awful, ´m sorry,” she meant it, Mary could tell by the genuinity in her words, it even looked like she wanted to add something, but she held it back.

Then her gaze darted down to her legs, “Blimey Mary, why are you still in your jammies, and why outside, it's freezing,” she looked a bit concerned.

“Long story, you don't want to know,” she told, but to be honest Mary was just too embarrassed to tell that she had been kicked out of her own Common room by someone like James. “Also´s still early.” she told.

“Mary the clock´s almost four,” Emmeline slowly said.

“What??” had the time passed by that fast? Oh god.

“Wait, i might have something,” she had a backpack hangin on one should which she searched in before she pulled out a a pair of dark blue velour trousers.

“Here,” Emmeline said, handing her the pair. Mary was confused, and she probably looked it cause the other girl explained immediately after. “You look cold, you can put em on top of the shorts,”

“Oh thank you, Emmy, you´re an angel,” she didnt know where my came from, but it felt natural to call her that. If Emmeline didnt like it, dhe didnt say anything about it, Mary would even say she smiled at the nickname.

“Wow these are absolutely stunning,” she took off her slippers while getting into the beautiful pair. “Where did you buy them from?”

“I made them,” Emmeline said casually as if it was nothing to her.

Mary gasped, “What, you taking the piss?” the pair looked as close to perfect, she didnt believe that people her age were this talented.

She smiled humbly, “No I'm being´ honest, my mum taught me, ´s a useful skill, tho i enjoy designing shoes more,” the girl´s a genius, how did Mary never know, tho it explained why she had a style as brilliant as hers.

“Emmeline dear, you going to design for all the famous ones one day, you´re proper talented,” she meant it.

The girl's cheeks reddened a tad, “Well you´ll get front-row seats to the shows.”

“Don´t expect nothin else from the great Emmeline Vance,” she said, and they locked eyes.

“Wow, the time's gone fast innit, thought the clock was like eleven or somethink,” mary finally said after the silence that had occurred, not wanting to end the chat just yet.

“Yeah? Why´d you walk up here anyway nobody uses the stairs anymore?” Emmeline said as if it was the most obvious thing, but this was news to Mary. Cause she hadn't been up here by herself for years. Marlene would always bring her the letters, or they´d go up together.

“What? Since when?” Mary asked, surprised by this, that she had walked all the way up in vain.

“Since always love, ´s nothing new.”

“How do you get up then, there's no escalator around ´s there?” It was probably a dumb question, but Mary felt comfortable enough around the girl to ask the dumb questions, there was a comfort in that she appreciated.

Emmeline let out a deep laugh, “Never seen one no, but people usually ride up here on their brooms,” she explained.

Mary was a fool on a broom. Whenever she went near one they went mental, and not in a good way.

“Uhh, well im not really what you call a natural flyer, not like Marls and Potter,” Mary confessed to her friend.

“I know, we had flying class together back in year three, don't think you noticed me then, you're a very popular witch, and well, I caught you falling straight on your face when you tried to land.” Oh god how embarrassing, why did Vance catch her in her worst moments, and why was she still around?

“Fuck, im sorry you had to witness that, i feel like you´ve got such a bad view of me, I swear to god im really not that embarrassed.” she tried to defend herself, but it seemed like it didnt even bother Emmeline.

“Nah, I don't mind, think it's sort of cute.” uh, was she flirting or was Mary really starting to get delusional.

When she felt her face warming, she tried to change the subject quickly to not embarrass herself any further. “I dropped the class after that incident, but you didnt? You any good— wait don't answer, you´re prolly one of those people who are naturally gifted in everything, sort of like Sirius, you know Sirius Black right?”

“Everyone knows Black, proper charmer aint he? ´m alright, I don't enjoy the sport particularly, but I find flying fun,” Emmeline told while she looked at the clock on her wrist once more, her eyes widened just a tad.

“I´ve got this thing to go to, hey, do you want to jump on back, so you don't got to walk all the way down?” the girl requested kindly. And even if Mary felt a bit sad, not having any plans for the day. She wanted to scream out it was her special day, but that would only take the special out of the day, and well, Mary didnt want that either.

“Thanks, that´d be great.” she smiled politely.

“Where too?”

“Back to Gryffindor tower I guess, no point runnin' around looking for Marls, she clearly doesn't want to be found,” she muttered, her mood crushed.

Vance looked a bit torn, “You know I've got an idea love, i saw Pettigrew in the courtyard yeah? Think they left the tower together this morning, he´ll know.” Emmeline told while pulling out her dark brown, elegant broom. To afford something like that one had to come from money right? Ugh, again the thoughts of money came. She tried to pretend they never occurred, but the truth was that they came up more often than not. Mary tried to never say it out loud though.

“Alright, don't got nothin' else to do,” she jumped on the back of the beautiful wooden broom and clung her arms around Emmeline. They were very close. And Mary could even hear her heartbeat.

When they left the owlery. The girl that Mary now viewed as completely mental did some flips with the broom through the air. As this was not something she did often, or at all, she shrieked out as a natural reaction and clinched harder to the Black-haired lunatic.

After a very speedy flight, the both of them landed in the empty courtyard.

“You absolutely nutter of a girl Emmeline, you told me you could fly?!” she shouted, and the other girl only giggled at Mary´s reaction.

“Never said what my style was,” she shrugged her shoulders with a neutral look on her face.

Mary rolled her eyes, pretending not to have loved every second of the short flight. It was sort of fun, by far the most fun she´d had today.

“Now, where is that Pettigrew?” she heard herself mumble unintentionally while scanning the courtyard until she heard his voice calling for her by the tree.

“Over here Macdonald.” the blond shouted across the courtyard, and as tired as she was she didnt have it in her to run over.

“You look terrible,” he commented when she was standing with him.

“Wow thanks for the confidence boost,” she said sarcastically, cause yes she could do that on a bad day, and this was a terrible day.

“You don't need more confidence Mary, you´re sometimes worse than James.” Peter joked.

“Well this day definitely fuckin humbled me, like god, I thought I was someone here,” Mary mumbled, leaning against the stone walls, just like peter did sitting beside him. “Wait where did Emmeline go, she was just here?”

“She flew right after you arrived, maybe she had something to get to?” he suggested.

“Yeah, she did, told me she had a thing to do, probably a party, a party I've not been invited to, cus im irrelevant apparently,” she continued to moan.

“Never thought id live to see the day you´d be self-deprecating.”

“Well here you are pal, what are you even doin´ out here alone you weirdo?” she said.

“Eh rude, but i– i was just having a break ye know,” he said, his face was a bit red, but Mary didnt bother questioning him, cause he blushed quite easily the poor boy.

“From Marlene right?”

Peter nodded, “she can be a bit exhausting, I was s´posssed to help her with some equipment down with the pitch, and she fucking snapped when I dropped some, by accident too.” he looked a bit frustrated.

“Know the feelin lad, you´v got any spliff on ya pete?” she tilted her head slightly

He looked a bit unsure, but when she gave him her look, the boy couldn't help but give in. “We shouldn't really but fuck it, no ones ´round to tell,” and with a small smile he handed her one as he took one himself.

“Cheers Pete,” she lit it with the lighter he handed her and took a deep breath. Before she sent it back to him

“Forgot how nice this was,” he mumbled before taking a drag himself.

She looked at him seriously and said, “Right, think I spent half of last year high.”

“Yeah I could tell.” he said as the corners of his lips slid upwards. She shoved him playfully. But the boy's smile faded quickly, his eyes weren't shining either like they usually were.

“´s everythin alright?” she asked. Mary liked to take care of people, especially those around her, and peter didnt look all good.

He looked startled by her question. “Why wouldnt it be, everythins wonderful,” he didint even look at her.

“Peter..” she said sternly staring him down, but not in a cruel way.

His lip quivered for a brief second before he broke down. “I– i dont know Mary, its just i feel like everyones so angry all the time, i dont get it, especially sirius, i think he hates me or something,” Peter admitted still not looking at her in eye.

“Sirius doesn't hate you.” was he being real?

“God but he must do. Have you seen how he talks to me?” he looked a bit hopeless if Mary was to be honest, but maybe that was just Pete. He´d never been like James and Sirius in that way.

“Thats just Sirius, i know it's not the advice you want but you just got to ignore it. My sisters a bit like that, i usually pretend like nothin' till she´s better.” Mary told. Her sister reminded her a bit of the boy in the way that they had a bit of an explosive personality. Kalisa had been a really troubled kid before she settled down with the catholic preacher. Probably had to do with their father.

Peter looked at her now, and he settled an arm on her shoulder. “Think ill do that yeah, ignore it, ´s just a bit difficult sometimes, all the arguing.”

She knew what he meant. “It´ll be alright love, if you mean me and Lily its nothing, just some normal rowing,” Mary wasnt sure she believed what she said, but as long as he did. “Also our little groups been through worse, we´ll always manage.” That she was sure of.

“Hope you´re right Mary, i really like us all, together like that. ´s nice innit.” he said, and she hummed in agreement.

“We used to be proper close werent we blondie?” she leaned on his shoulder cause it felt right.

“Arent we still?” Peter had answered, he had a surprised tone to his voice.

“Mhm, but not like in first year, do you remember?”

She had celebrated her first birthday with Peter. They´d both been eleven year old kids, and they didnt know each other that well. But when he had found out, he insisted on making a day out of it. That was before knew his roommates that well, and neither did Mary so it fit perfectly. She remembered how they had ran around the castle playing tricks on the portraits, he´d even charmed a portrait to sing for her. By the end of that day, Peter managed to snuck them in the kitchen, both sharing a dundee cake under the counter.

He exhaled, “Yeah, we were inseparable werent we? till Mckinnon came and stole you away from me.”

She giggled lightly, “Pfft, as if you didnt ran away with the lads the moment they came along.”

“Glad we found each other again.” They fell out by the end of their first year, but when their new friends became friends they did too, and Mary was grateful cause he was a good friend to have.

They´d both almost finished the shared spliff.

“Yeah what was it again— oh right, James fancyin Lily, bit funny innit?” She reckoned it was his crush that had made them as close, or maybe it was Lilys friendship with remus, or Marlene makin the team with the boys, It was a bit foggy since it had all happened around the same time.

“Bet they´ll end up together by next year.” he said taking a final drag before he threw it away, while standing up.

“You think?” she did the same, using a branch to help herself up.

“I mean its bound to happen,” he shrugged putting on an oversized blue jacket.

“Thanks pete, youre a good friend, I feel so calm around you,” she felt a bit better talking to Peter.

“Sure thats not the weed?”

“Cheeky lad.”

His eyes widened, as if he´d just realised something.

And he started jogging towards the castle.

“Where you going?” she shouted at him from the distance.

“Well uhh– to party of course! Go find your girl.” he shouted back laughing while doing so.

“What? What party?” but by the time she did he was already gone, his blond curls disappearing behind the stone wall.

If he forgot there was no hope for her bestfriend, she thought while walking to the pitch where she hoped to find her. She was planing some great speech while on the way. Was she going to tell off the girl for wasting her day? Or cry in her arms for forgetting it?

“Aye finally Mary, what took ye this long?” her blonde hair was tied up, and she looked a bit messy, had she really spent her entire day here?

“Oi you cunt, what are you playin at hm?” she hoped she looked as angry as she was.

The girl quirked a brow, “Oh? Why so angry Mary?” The audacity of the girl.

“Why am I angry? Are you really askin me that?” She tried to calm down, but it was hard to. It was the anger of it all, built up in her.

“You´v been makin me follow you all fuckin day Marlene like a puppy”

“Didn't ask you to,” she answered unbothered, had Marlene expected this?

“James said you wanted to talk you moron, so bloody talk now, c´mon, since you loooove to talk so very much.”

Now the blonde really looked confused. “What are you on about, have I done something wrong?”

“Yes! Yes you fuckin have, youre supposed to be my bestfriend marls, and I–Ii heard you, i fuckin heard you alright!” she was aware that she was shouting now. But she couldnt find it in her to care.

Marlene looked taken aback, “Mary, im sorry, i didnt know it was this big of a—”

“No Marlene please shut up, just listen, alright, you might think im odd, or disgusting or whateve, but its not that bad alright.”

The blonde girls two brows almost met, “I dont think yer any of that Mary—”

“Oh c´mon i heard you alright, dont fuckin deny, so what if i im a bloody dyke?” Mary saw Marlenes eyes widen at this. “You your beloved Billie holiday, she went both ways, lots of people do, and I wont let you— or Lily hate me for this, cause this aint somethin i fuckin control.” she felt her lungs almost colapse after the rant. This was so scary and she felt so vulnerable, she knew her eyes were watering but Mary refused to cry.

“Mary, are you– are you a lesbian?” Marlene looked shocked whispering the word, as if it was something secret, she looked very surprised too say the least, but not angry or disgusted.

“Why are you pretendin you dont know, i heard you alright, our first night here, talked bout my ways, bringin any memories hm?” why was till pretending, why the fuck was she doing that, it made it so muc harder.

Marlene was thinking, maybe trying to remember, and as she realised something her expression changed immediately, she leapt towards mary swinging her arms around her. Holding her closely.

Mary was crying now, and she tried to get out of her tight grip, “Fuckin explain marlene, let me go, explain you piece of shit.” she cried out loud.

But Marlene didnt let her go. “I'm sorry love, im so feckin sorry,” she whispered, and Mary stopped fighting against and held her hands around the blonde as well.

“Believe me Mary when I say, I didnt know, and id never call you disgustin dear, you´re feckin perfect alright, no matter who it is you like.” she mumbled while stroking her hair.

“But– but what about that night?” Mary said when they were both looking at each other.

“A misunderstanding, we were talkin about somethin else, did you really think i´d react like that?” she asked shocked that Mary would think about her.

“Well i dont know, im stupid sometimes, also it did sound like it. You´d think the same if you heard.” Mary whipped away her tears with her sleeve. She felt relieved. A misunderstanding. Of course, it was, Marlene was her bestfriend, Mary wouldnt be friends with an idiot. And Marlene was briliant, she was so great, and Mary couldnt find it in her to angry about anything. Nothing as stupid as forgetting a stupid birthday not Mary had her by her now, god it felt good.

“You´re not, you´ll always be my Mary, my mental but lovely best friend,” she smiled down at her, and Mary swore that she could see some water forming on her eyes.

“Im goin´ to hold that against you once we´re less emotional.” Mary expected a fuck off, or maybe even a shove, but Marlene proved her wrong by simply laughing at her joke.

“I assume Lily knows then?” she said instead.

“Uhh, sort of i think, she never said anything of it,” Mary mumbled trying to avoid talking about that whole awkward interaction.

“Oh? Now im real curious, tell mary.” so Mary did tell. She told the entire story to her and Marlene was chuckling by the end of it.

“Only you, only you would think of stealin a nude statue from a museum.”

“To my defence, it was very very pretty, also ´s that all you gathered from my story?”

When she finally stopped laughing, she said, “it doesn't make sense tho, why would lily avoid it like that, doesn't seem like her?”

“You think she´s got a problem with it?”

“No, no feckin way, she´s not like that.” Marlene protested, here brow furrowed with both hands on her hips.

“Then why?” she needed an answer, just anything-

“I´v got no clue, just give it time, maybe she just needs time, whats the clock anyway?”

“five shit it's late.” the day had just gone by

“Yeah, wait, let me just get finished here, and we can walk back to the castle together. You can sit there while i finish— no Mary it's easier if i get it done myself I promise. Theres water in my bag, also sit on my jacket if it's uncomfy on the wood, it's alright i don't mind.”

Mary didnt protest. And it was nice to just sit down for once, with no worry. She felt better than she had in weeks. Lily didnt hate her, and Marlene loved her. And everything was nice, ann good, and lovely—

“Mary, wake up you little fig.” she had closed her eyes for only a moment, she could have impossibly fell asleep.

“Hmm.” she hummed, trying to open her eyes.

“C´mon its gettin dark, and late,” she helped her back on her feet, and they starting walkin back together towards the grey castle.

*

They talked all the way towards the common room. Mary told her everything. Or not everything. She couldnt tell Marlene about her fancying Lily, that´d be too far. But Mary talked, and explained every single thing, and Marlene would nod understandingly or she´d ask a question and Mary would answer honest. It was nice to be able to be honest, cause it was in her ature to be so, and it had been hard keeping such a huge part of her hidden for months.

“It wasnt like i found blokes unattractive, they were still fit, it was just like hard to be in love with one, i think i realised that when i wen out with Rez,” she told her friend.

“So my brother turned you into a lesbian?” she whispered, Mary could tell she was holding back a laugh.

“Piss offf– but i guess he did, in a way maybe,” she giggled a bit at the sentiment.

“Ha– but is it like, did you ever like him, or any of the others you went out with, like genuinely?” Marlene asked her.

“Ehhh, going out with him was like being with a friend id kiss, wasnt love exactly.. but one thing, god this is embarrassing..” Mary felt her cheeks redden.

But Marlene insisted on her telling. “C´mon Mary, I promise I won't judge.” she had said, but Mary knew she would. If not out loud, she´d do so in her head.

“Fine, well, i was confused for a while actually, cus well, for a little while Sirius felt like a boy I could love,” she admitted.

Marlene´s brows rose up, “Oh?”

“Didnt expect that did ya?” she joked. “But yeah, he felt different to me for a while, I thought he was good-looking, funny as well as charming, and I could see it you know, it was expected in a way.”

“Sounds like you fell for the fellas´ devilish looks,” Marlene replied with a grin. “joking, but I understand ye know, it's what's expected from us from were feckin children, that idea, ´s not weird you got confused.”

Mary appreciated the understanding. “Right, also he´s a pretty one isn't he?”

“Exactly, hate him for it sometimes, the handsome bastard,” Marlene muttered darkly.

And when they finally arrived by the corridor that led to the common room, Marlene facepalmed, “Oh feck, I think I forgot my– my jacket?” she said out loud, “Yes me jacket, love that one, just go in without me alright? I´ll run, the password is ´fat bottomed girls.´" what? Since when had that been an acceptable password, theres no way any teacher would let that happen.

But Marlene ran so fast that she wasnt even able to question the password.

Why did everyone seem to run away from her?

And hadn't she been wearing her jacket?

Fuck, Mary was way too gone to deal with this.

Was she really going to say fat-bottomed girls to the portrait, what if the lady took offence to it and it was a prank by Marlene?

The blonde could be more mental than anyone she knew, so Mary didnt want to risk it. She waited outside the door, maybe Marlene would come, or just any other Gryffindor.

But when she had waited a couple of minutes she gave up. Mary wouldn't claim to be the most patient girl, and the day she´d had didnt help either.

Maybe she´d try, what if it was the pass, and Mcgonnagal was just having a laugh about it. Mary had always felt there was more than what met the eye with the older professor.

“Hello madame,” she greeted the fat lady.

“Oh, greetings young Gryffindor,” she sang while smirking.

“So the pass?” she tried hoping the portrait would just let her in by compassion.

“Do not tell me you´ve forgotten miss?” the fat lady did not look impressed.

“Eh no, course not,” she said trying to convince her self to try the ridiculous password. “Fat bottomed girls?” she mumbled not daring to look up.

“You may enter.” and the portrait actually opened up for her.

But that was not even the crazy part, of course she´d been wrong all along, she´d been fucking blind.

No, cause when Mary walked in to the common room. She gasped, she may have even let out a scream.

The room itself looked bloody marvelous, every single spot of it. Not one corner was boring, it was all decorated in bright, bright neon colours. There was glitter curtains, crazy balloons, discoballs, oh my god discoballs, lights, longtables with drink and nosh. And the best part was all of them, yes all of them. The room was filled with the people she appreciated the most, all of them stood there, beaming at her. They were dressed wonderfully, and they were so wonderful.

Only one who wasnt was Marlene, bloody Marlene who stood on her side. With a cheeky little grin plastered on her face, and she dared to say the words. “Aye, surprise lass.”

And she tackled her friend with a hug. She heard people cheer, and many gathered around her, hugging her and congratulating her, and she felt so loved. Mary could have sworn she was the luckiest girl in the world right then.

And when she was done being congratulated she stormed towards the group that of course stood by the drinking table, she was a bit scared they were all slowly becomin alcoholics.

“You little bastards, bleedin bastards” Mary shouted at them when she met the group.

“Hey, ´s on you you couldnt catch up, me, personally i´d definitely find out.” Sirius slurred, was he drunk already? oh mary had to catch up.

“No you wouldn't you fool, you´d show up an hour after the party´s over,” Remus spoke over him using his shoulder as a handrest to Sirius annoyance.

“Can´t believe you thought we´d forget it Macdonald, you´re aware this is the most important day of the year?” James said, he looked very handsome, not in the same clothes from this morning, but still looking as good.

“´cept christmas,” peter said, he´d changed as well. When did they have time for all this. Mary was honestly more shocked than surprised.

“Yeah alright maybe except christmas, but nonetheless, this was very planned love.” he smiled.

“I feel so dumb, you lot werent even that sneaky ´bout it either, I mean pete even told me he was on his way to a party.” Mary giggled remembering it.

“Pettigrew? What the fuck mate?” Marlene questioned him

“Oh shut up Mckinnon, like you wasnt weird with the whole ´fixin the equipment´ thing.” he answered back taking a long sip from the beer glass.

“Nae that was convincin—”

“Wait where you lot not doin any of that?” she felt deceived, james handed her a drink, “cheers.”

“Mary, honestly did ya think we really were goin´ to spend our saturday runnin outside like some weirdos?” Remus asked her, dead look in the eyes. He looked a bit of though, the same way Sirius did, and Peter, probably the alcohol.

“Nah you, my lanky friend would stay inside reading Anna Karenina or some other bullshit, runnin' outside like a oddity sounds more like Jamesie tho.” Sirius joked, he was bloody a comedian wasnt he. His black hair was slicked back today.

“That's actually sooo accurate Sirius,” Peter laughed, and Sirius smiled back. They looked friendly, the two boys had probably fixed up, great.

“Don´t feed his ego Pete, he´ll go ´round thinkin he´s funny.” Lupin complained, he was very good-looking tonight. Even Mary could appreciate his good looks tonight.

“Oi i am–”

“But Mary, I, unfortunately, can't take all credit for this beautiful night, it was Mckinnon and Evans planning all of it, we lads just jumped in,” James explained pointing at the two of them.

Marlene smiled winking at mary, but when Mary's gaze turned to Lily she was looking at her feet, maybe a bit shyly which was odd in the first place. Avoiding eye-contact, she hadn't said a word.

“Still cant believe it, you lot are mental.” Mary only said, adressing all of them.

“We love you too you little goof.” Marlene said smiling from ear to ear.

The room was buzzing. Everyone seemed to have a good time and that made her happy. There were people from all houses there. And even students she hadnt met before congratulated her, Mary felt like a star.

“Im goin to change me clothes, i wont party lookin like crap.” Mary looking over her shoulder to her friends.

“Eh i feel offended,” Marlene said, but Mary simply rolled her eyes, biting her lip not to smile.

She walked of, she grabbed a cup with some mysterious liquor in, from a large table. Didnt smell to bad.

“Hey Mary can i come with?” A very redfaced Sirius Black, stumbled towards her in the hallway to the dorm.

“Well thats rather perverted sirius,” she teased, and it was priceless seeing the boys cheeks turn even redder if possible. He looked flustered. It was quite the rare sight.

“I– i didnt mean– i jus–”

“Im kidding Sirius, jesus, how much have you had to drink?”

“I´ll tell ya if ya do me eyelinerrrr,” he looked to excited to turn down.

“Fine but help me pick somethin to wear,” Mary answered back

“Pffttt, as if you could pick somethin´on ya own.”

She flipped him to fingers before she grabbed his hand running down the empty hallway with him.

They stumbled into the room, it was unlocked luckily for them. But what really surprised her was how clean her part of the room was, she remember how it had looked this morning. And now her entire side was tidy.

“Why are ye lookin´ so flabbergasted? You hidin a secrret lover heree?” Sirius began opening up the closet, and searched for a secret what? “Where are youuu?”

“Sirius, for fucks sake, just sit down on the bed, whats with you?” she started to get concerned for the boy who acted way too fucking weird. She really wasnt in the mood for another performance by him again. He was a terrible singer, but she´d never tell him. It did not help that Sirius had been pissed of his mind that same night, and that his little performance of the queen song looked more miserable and sad than chippy and fun. It was a shit show to say the least.

The boy sat on her bed, or he rather layed down, and giggled. “Oh mary, maryyy, im so happy, so fuckin glad,” he wiggled around holding his arms around himself. Sirius looked rather insane.

“Really? What makes you so glad then?” she asked carefully, while searchin her drawers, someone had cleaned there too, everything was sorted, in a system mary understood.

“Just some coke,” he hummed pushing his hair away from his face.

Coke?

They did that now?

She knew what it was, it was popular among muggles as it was with wizards. The powder was terrible, but she didnt want to lecture him. She knew that sort of stuff only pushed people away. Mary knew that all too well. He looked happy, and well they were only teenagers. If it was a time to live and experiment it was now.

“Hmm, first time?” she asked, to which he nodded. She grabbed a sharp eyeliner, it was almost empty, but she´d manage with it till Christmas. “Now sit still love, you don't want it to be quaky.”

He closed his eyes but bit his lips to hold back small giggles that would erupt. His eyelids were sort of shaky as well as his fist which he clenched but other than that he didnt look too bad, might not be a bad high.

“This stuffs bloody amazin´ Mary, feel euphoric, makes everything nicer,” he told her, his white teeth in sight.

“Mhm, jus´ remember nothin´ good with too much of it,” Mary chose her words carefully while concentrating on the liner.

“Course, won't be addicted or whatever.” he answered back.

“Annnd done, ´s it alright or do you want it longer?” she asked him when she was done.

“It's perfect, bloody perfect, thanks mary.” he admired himself for a little while, till he sat back down on her big bed. “Now for you, whatcha thinking? Some hard pants or a cute skirt? That´ll drive James mad.” She couldn't help but let out a small giggle, he really was thinking she fancied Potter. Oh god, it had turned into an entire thing, and Mary wasnt sure how to break it to him.

“I´ll dress for myself tonight,” she answered winking at him, before turning her back and searching her closet. She had some valuable pieces in there. Maybe she could wear one of her classics.

“That's even better,” he shrugged his shoulders.

She pulled out a dress, the one she had nicked the previous summer. It was in a deep purple colour, with thin straps, not too short, not elegant, but not casual either, it was perfect. And she was sure no one had seen her in it yet. “What do you think?” she asked the dark-haired boy.

His eyes widened at the sight of the dress. “You´ve got to wear that one Mary if you wont ill fuckin do it.” he smiled, joking, but something on his face told her that he was a bit serious.

“I think I will,” she studied the dress, “don't think I´ve got any shoes that go with it tho.”

“Yes you do, under your bed,” he said quickly before he jumped off the bed and started searching himself. He grabbed a pair of gogo boots, in a dark pink shade. Oh god, she´d forgotten the pair, Mary hadn't seen them in a year or maybe even more.

“Sirius, how the fuck did ya know?” she asked a bit scared.

“I and Evans tidied up the room a bit this morning, we sorted stuff, mostly her anyway, but yeah I helped a bit maybe, found lots of shoes, don't even think you know you´ve got all of em,” he informed her before he pulled out a huge box from underneath her bed. It was filled with shoes. “Sorted em in colours,” he said proudly looking down at the box. Oh, so it had been them. Her.

“God your such saints, fuckin love you lot.” Mary meant it very much, this entire day, everything. She held the dress close to her and danced around with it.

Sirius smiled, but he didn't say anything, he just looked at her.

“Get out, you ain't watchin' me change,” she said trowing a pillow at him to get him moving.

He laughed just a bit too much while rolling out of the bed back up on his feet, a bit wobbly. “Course, im a gentleman, a reaal gentle lad,” he chuckled at his own joke but before he opened the door Sirius abruptly turned around, and gave her a stern look. “Be quick Macdonald, ´s your party.”

“Yes dad,” she said rolling her eyes like a teenager.

But he couldn't uphold the seriousness long enough cause he broke into a grin and ran out the door.

Quite literally ran.

She felt herself being overwhelmed now. When she was finally alone with her thoughts. Her thoughts were nice for once.

She quickly changed out of the borrowed trousers and into the beautiful dress. She took a look at herself in the mirror. The purple dress belonged to her. They fit together like a pair of gloves. And it wasnt even the dress that made her look so great, no, it was her. Mary could feel herself almost floating away, she was radiant because she felt better than she had in weeks. So of course it would show, her cheeks were red underneath her dark skin, and her eyes were wide and exciting and Mary felt a happy high that no drugs could do to one.
She decided to sit down before going down, not only to finish her drink but also to just reflect a bit. Cause well, she would not be able to the minute she went back there. After all, it was her birthday, and it sort of was tradition for the birthday girl to get the most pissed. So Mary was planning to fulfil it, even though she´d never considered herself a traditionalist.

But her thoughts were interrupted very quickly, cause there was a knock on the door.

For a sweet minute, mary had imagined it being Sirius, that Sirius would barge in, and tell her something so ridiculous that only he would say.

It wasnt Sirius.

Big red hair, bright bright eyes, and freckled skin like no other. Curls that reached her wide hips, and hands that rested on them that you wanted to grab and hold forever.

Mary realised she hadn't said anything, had Lily said something? Had she maybe missed it, being too busy to acknowledge how great her friend looked in the olive green cargo shorts. Her legs never ended in them, but what really reeled Mary in was the cropped white turtle neck. She´d always thought Lily looked great in white, even before she was queer, lily had always looked good.

“Hi,” mary found herself saying while holding eye contact with Lily, she did not look angry, or happy, or anything. She looked very neutral, maybe a bit ominous if Mary was reaching it.

“Hello,” her calmness worried Mary a bit, was it normal? Was any of this normal? “Do you not like your party?” Lily had asked her.

The question made her brows rise immediately, “no, course not, it's bloody great, awesome in fact, don't think I could have planned a better one myself,” she told Lily looking down at her hands, one of them occupied by the drink she´d almost finished.

A soft sigh was heard, and mary felt the impulsive need to look up and meet the green eyes that never left her mind in peace. But Lily avoided her gaze. Because apparently everything in their room was much more interesting. “Im glad..” she began but Lily did not look glad. It looked like something was occupying the girl's mind.

“Sirius told me you and he tidied up here,” Mary decided to say after a couple of seconds, Lily still did not look at her, even when her face reacted.

“Ah now did he, and what did Black say?”

Mary didnt want to answer a girl who wouldn't even face her, but she did. “Oh don't be scared, he told me that you did all of it,” she could see some of the muscles in her face relax a bit, maybe even turning into a natural little smile. “Thanks.”

When her friend decided to walk to the mirror Mary had stood before only a minute before, she drank the remaining liquor in her cup.

Lily was pretending to watch herself, fixing her eyeshadow, but Mary felt like it was only an excuse.

Cause lily was watching her through the mirror and Mary mirrored her move staring right back, it was intense indirect eye contact. “That's a shocker didn't know he could be humble.”

“Don't pretend he´s not growin´ on you,” Mary said holding her gaze, their eyes met so captivatingly that Lily felt the need to close her eyes for a second.

“Maybe a bit, he´s not as bad as I thought,” she said before opening them up again and mary´s eyes never left, she was still met with her coal-dark eyes.

Mary was a bit bladdered, a bit high if you will, and most of all she was an emotional being so yes she did bring up the name of James, only to get an answer, even if she knew, she wanted confirmation. “Potter too, I see how you look at each other..”

Lily's lighter eyebrows furrowed together, they were very straight and a few shades lighter than her dark red hair. Back when they were a bit younger, Lily would always complain about it while admiring Marlenes and her own, but Mary would reassure her. Because Lily's eyebrows had to be the most wonderful thing. Full of emotion, full of her. She expressed her very through the straight brows, and they would always change accordingly to what Lily felt. Some people had expressive voices, or expressive eyes, her Lily had it all.

“Will you stop it, I don't look at him any other than I look at Remus or even Marlene for that matter,” Lily had defended herself but she still refused to face her. And why, why was it like with Remus or Marlene but now with her? She hadn't mentioned her, she hadn't said her name once.

Mary frowned, not even aware of it til she saw herself in the mirror, where lily looked equally dissatisfied. “What's the problem?”

“Problem?” Mary repeated, in disbelief of course.

Lily's tone was as calm as ever, she didnt even looked fazed, not like Mary felt.

“Yes, you´ve been cold, since well, since —” she didnt finish the sentence, not that she had to cause Mary knew exactly what she was saying. But she did notice something the girls cheek was bright red, and her eyes were drunk. Lily didnt drink.

“Since when do you drink?” she asked.

Lily smiled, bitterly, not the warm smile Mary adored, no she looked ruined. “Fuck off, since when are you a– a—,” she had not finished her sentence once again, but this time she bit her lip as if to hold something back. Lily looked a bit uncomfortable and god mary had to laugh.

“You must be jokin,” she began laughing at the irony, “face me you fuckin wuss, hmm, fuckin see me,” Mary stood up from the bed on shacking feet.

“C´mon Evans, if you're going to be this fuckin rude at least say it to my face.” As her green-eyed friend had enough, she turned around quickly, and they were face to face for the first time in forever.

Wow, she really looked angry, but also beautiful, but also a bit tipsy, wow Mary was fucked.

“You! Youu are soooo smart aren't you hmm?” lily asked, and when Mary was about to answer Lily answered her own question.

“Yes you do, course you do, got it all figured out haven't you?” she continued, and she looked so emotional like she was not talking to Mary but rather herself. “Well im here to tell you, you´re wroooong— so fucking wrong.” she laughed painfully, but her eyes were set on Mary, the curly-haired girl had to put all her focus on just managing to spit out some words.

“Uhh, are you alright?” she stuttered and Lily's eyes fucking widened at her normal words.

“Alright? ´m fuckin fantastic babe, but I aint been fuckin rude, you're telling me throwin´ this entire thing ´s fuckin rude?” she looked confused, maybe hurt, and Mary felt a bit bad for her choice of words, cause she´d never want to hurt Lily.

“Didnt say that, I just meant after everything in the museum..” mary realised how quiet lily had gotten. She looked lost, at loss for anything, but her eyes were never lost. No cause they were with Mary, and Mary was with her.

“Im sorry, should have said something shouldn't i?” Lily said looking a bit sad, very seriously sad.

“Would have helped a bit yeah, but ´s alright, don't think you hate me,” she added the last part with a humble smile.

“Just needed time to think … I´ll never hate you, don't think I could even if you´d murdered someone, you're too sweet to hate mary.”

“Pfft your just saying that,” Mary said trying to keep her mask up still a bit in disbelief, but when Lily said such nice words and was this close to her, she knew she was smiling.

Lily shook her head completely, “no I truly mean it, people can't help but love you, and it doesn't make me love you any less if you are that way, if anything im glad you are.”

“How so?” mary asked her curiosity taking over.

Lily was very close to her, not only physically, they felt maybe a bit, maybe entwined?

“Im glad you know who you are,” she began, “glad you don't need to pretend, but why all the boys this month?” Lily asked breathing the same air as Mary.

Mary was sure she was blushing being reminded about how silly she´d been. She did feel bad leading the lads on. But to her defence she had been confused, she thought her friends found her disgusting for not liking males, and therefore for the last few weeks she´d gone out with every single lad she came across. It absolutely had nothing to do with wanting to make a certain someone jealous.

“Uhh don't think of it, I was just confused. I fancy girls...” Mary tried to laugh it off, but Lily looked dead serious, staring her deep in the eyes. It had not felt like this with Marlene earlier.

No, it hadn't.

“Especially red-haired girls,” Mary confessed accidentally, and she suspected that it hadn't been an accident at all. just said that and Lily looked very very surprised.

“You make me confused, very confused,” Lily admitted dragging the words across her tongue never looking away from Mary.

And even if they had grown up together in that room, where they had shared so many memories, mary knew she would look back at this moment in the future and remember it as her best memory in there.

“Confused,” mary repeated, not as a question but more as an acknowledgement to herself.

“Yes, but I don't think I am anymore.” Lily was so close now, they were inches apart.

Don't go back, don't go back, it's right here.

It was right here, lily was right here.

“You´re drunk Lily, you don't mean this.”

But Lily looked devastated when she said it, “I´d say this even if I was sober, I mean everything of it, I fancy you, truly” Lily looked a bit desperate spilling the words. And since Lily had never been a desperate sort of person mary had to believe her.

Lily said she liked Mary, she liked her. And if anything Mary should have felt over the moon, and she was glad. She truly was. The girl she fancied, fancied her back. But there was a dark thought that lurked in her mind, and no matter how hard she tried to focus on the redhead in front of her, it didnt disappear.

“So you're not just doing this cus im queer, cus im the easy option,” Mary said and gazed into the green eyes she´d just betrayed by accusing them of such,

Lily looked fallen, like Mary wasnt listening, which she very much was. It was just hard to believe, not that Mary was an insecure girl, but she could wrap her head around this entire situation. How it hadn't only been in her head, how it might have been reciprocated.

“Mary you are the least easy option in this entire school, if I wanted easy I´d go for anyone who wasn't you, but the thing is I don't want anyone who isn't you, and it's hard to be without you when you´re this close to me,” her voice sounded so melodic when she spoke, and Lily looked like a gift in front of her, a gift that was hers, but that she never knew could be.

“Please, believe me, May,” she whined the last part out. May. She hadn't called her that in too long.

Mary was stunned, this was honestly the most unexpected part of her entire mental day. And god, for the first time, she didn't know what to do, what to believe, but when looking at her bestfriend who stood there and who had just confessed her love for her, so bravely, Mary felt tongue-tied.

And for a brief second, it felt like Mary's entire world stopped, cause all she saw was her, and her pink lips in front of her, she wanted to snog her, as she had wished for the last weeks, but she held back.

To Mary´s surprise lily did not.

Lily did not hold back when she crashed her lips into Mary's, and mary did not back away. The redhead took charge and placed her hands on Mary's waist and held her closer. And mary mirrored her moved but held a hand on her face to feel the warmness from her.

She had never felt something like this before.

Even if she´d kissed many, many boys, none of it had ever been like this. Lily tasted like the alcohol she´d drank, but also a bit like the cake she´d seen her eat earlier, strawberry it tasted like. Her lips were soft, and Lily's skin was like silk, holding on to her was like holding on to a dream. A dream she never wanted to wake up from.

Mary was so into the kiss, she did notice how Lily had tangled her fingers into Mary's, holding her hand.

Their kiss ended short when Lily almost tripped over a pair of Mary's shoes, but the brown-eyed girl held her up, so she would fall on her back.

They smiled into each other's mouths still holding on to each other neither of them letting go. So Mary let out a faint sigh, “I can't believe it,” she said.

And Lily let out a strained chuckle, “Me neither, feel so silly now— all this time..”

Mary hummed in agreement, “Yeah, can't believe you actually, well, you actually like me,” when she said it out loud, it was hard to believe it. How quickly it had turned, and well unbelievably nice.

“Of course, I like you May, it's been so hard to have you look at me with those eyes, and not confess,” she tucked a bit of marys hair behind her ear and whispered it in Mary's ear. The nickname almost brought her down to her knees. “How long has it been for you?” she asked.

“Might have been your birthday actually,” mary managed to say despite feeling so much.

Lily's eyes widened at that, “No really? That's such a coincidence, you must be joking?” she looked in disbelief.

Mary nodded, “It's true, we were in the common room, you drank cocoa, and you went on a rant to us about how the whites exploited chocolate from the Americas.”

The redhead started to laugh loudly, “Oh fuck, I remember that! You were out of it, I thought I´d said something wrong.”

“Nooo, it was the moment I realised how much I listened to you, I never ever listened to boys that way, never looked at them like I looked at you,” she answered back, smiling sweetly when confessing to lily about things that had worried her before.

Lily blushed, her red cheeks were the colour of her lips, “This feels unreal,” she mumbled. “Wish I said something that day... In the museum.” Lily said

“Why didnt you?” Mary asked, and this time she´d get an answer to the question she had asked herself at least a hundred times.

And Lily looked a bit

“Well, I found out that the girl I fancy, that might, just might be queer. I honestly did not know what to say or do. It felt like a big prank or something, a big prank from the world..” the redhead began, her lip quivering, so Mary squeezed her hand a bit, enough for Lily to give her an appreciative smile. “I wasnt sure if you were, not completely, and well I didnt want to ruin our friendship over something so uncertain,” she admitted. “But Im certain now.”

“So no matter what happens, we´ll always be friends first alright?” Mary confirmed, as Lily nodded agreeing. “also I blame Remus, what was that museum?”

Lily giggled and Mary laughed with, “Oh my god, yes, such a strange place, wonder where he even found out about it?” she questioned her friend´s odd taste.

“Right, he was also so vague about it.”

“Such a case our Remus is,” Lily agreed, as she stroked Mary´s shoulder she remembered the great kiss they´d just shared. And gave Lily a bit of an alluring look.

Lily came closer, dangerously close to her lips, and Mary parted her lips, inviting her to them. Lily stopped. “Nope, we can't. As much as I want to stay up here and kiss your beautiful lips, there's an entire party downstairs wanting to see you,” she told while picking up her bag where she´d left it on the floor.

“But I just want to see youuuu,” Mary whined, she knew Lily wanted to smile but she tried to remain serious.

“We´ll see enough of each other later, I promise May,” and since mary couldn't fight on that she agreed.

As they both walked together, holding hands and leaning on each other.

And as the music got louder and the students drunker, they were right back. Mary in her new dress, and a real love, and Lily with a real smile and a happy heart.

“MARYYY,” a light voice shouted through the music, and as several people recognised she was back, they walked towards her.

Lily let go of her hand as she whispered. “You´re bloody phenomenal in that dress May,” she felt shivers down her spine as the warmth and sound of Lily's voice touched her skin. But when she looked to her side to give the girl an equally as cheeky remark, she was gone.

And all Mary could see was her red hair dancing into the crowd. Disappearing into it, being consumed in it. Smiles and stares were all around her. As they all devoured her whole being. But Mary did not feel sad nor did she feel jealous in any way, cause Mary knew she was the only one who knew what her hair smelt like and what her heart was full of.

Mary turned sixteen on a Saturday.

But now the clock was nearing midnight, so it would be Sunday.

And she finally felt sixteen, 'cause she felt as it. She felt older, with a complete fullness that she hadn't felt at fifteen.

And more mature she was, cause this year she wasn't anybody but herself, and she felt like a woman. And she loved one as well.

Cause maybe that was the entire scheme of it, that it meant she grew enough to allow herself to love the ones she´ll love more than herself.