Cries of deserted birds.

21th September 1975

They lingered around the dorm, Peter had already packed out his belongings, but James and Sirius couldn't be arsed, they usually just let it come naturally, taking out their properties when needed. It had been cold in the room when they first arrived but they warmed it up quickly with their presence.

Sirius often thought of his brother in moments like this, of how it must be to him. To come back here, did he feel the same? Happy to escape, happy to leave. Glad to be without one another. No, it wasn't like that, it was nothing like that. Sirius knew that, he knew he liked his brother, but sometimes a part of him didnt grip that, wouldn't let him. It might be the logical part of him if he had one that was. Because it wasnt logical to love people who caused him pain, unintentionally or not.

Being a Black wasnt easy, he was not going to pretend it was, but loving like one was the hardest. “Alright, Padfoot?” James slung an arm around his friend. He offered a smile, but James knew this ran deeper. He knew him too well, and there was no point in pretending, he could see past masks.

“Yeah yeah, just thinking of how nice it be with a party”

“You were bladdered last time, you sure you're ready for that again, you were retchin´ for hours, the morning after, think you might have even ripped ye kecks–”

“Thanks for reminding me Prongs.”

“No problem mate.”

“This school is fuckin borin´, feels like bloody Azkaban in here,” he complained, cause e

Peter turned to them at the remark, “well that's a comparison, you´re literally a wizard, how are ye bored?”

James snorted, he did that when even peter said anything close to funny

“Well if it's not the school's fault it's yours,” he snapped.

“Oh? How so you tearaway?”

Sirius had to think. “We used to do so much yes? Like in the third year? Remember how many pranks we pulled?”

“We still do?”

“Not like before,” he grumbled holding himself like a child. “Why is Moony always busy being a prefect these days, I miss mapping up with him.”

“Get out of your mood Padfoot, remember our scheme, that's big?” Prongs had interrupted, giving his friend a sly smile, which peter noticed.

“What scheme?”

This time Sirius answered, “Nothing big really,” he made sure to smirk while saying so, to make Peter more curious.

“You two fucking always keep secrets from me,” Pete grumbled before he moved to the other side of the room to pick up his sketch pad.

“Don't be like that Petey, me and Sirius will tell when the times are right, and your always busy with your artsy stuff anyway eh?” he had tried but Peter only scoffed in response before he went back to his.

James played along, “you could play Bowie, I reckon you miss him after an entire summer without?”

Sirius smirked, “Well yeah I definitely do, the voice I've made up in my head is not even close to his real one,”

“Aight you maniac, I'll pretend that´s normal, ´ll just put on some Bowie—- To be honest i missed him too.”

“I KNEW IT, you love my man”

“Your man? That's rather greedy for a rockstar don´ya think?” James winked before diving into their collections of records and putting on the closest bowie album which happened to be his favourite, Diamond dogs.

“OH prongs you really know the way to a man's heart,” he began moving to the music that played, letting it flow through him.

James clapped his hands to the beat, he had probably memorised this entire album due to all the playing of it they did last year.

“Do not let your man Bowie hear that!” he had responded, moving his shoulders to the rhythms as well as his clapping.

Sirius laughed along and danced his way to the Stereo to turn up the volume.

Even if Peter was more frigid than Sirius and James, he threw the sketching thingy away to join them.

“HA, what is Wormtail doing?!” he shouted over the loud music.

And even though peter gave him a mean stare, Peter continued to dance with his entirety like the bloody artist he was.

“Oi Sirius why don't you change into Padfoot, this is his jam after all?” Sirius heard his best friend shout.

“Best idea you´ve had Prongs,” was the last thing he had said before he changed into the black dog his friends adored.

When he was Padfoot, he was something so odd and fun, that sometimes he wished he never changed back.

Being Padfoot was unlike any other feeling in the world, it was freeing, and all of his senses were dilated. He could smell and feel everything. The dog didnt mind memories, he didnt mind anything that was exhilarating. No, if anything the dog loved it and adored-it.

And he saw his friends but not in the way he did as a human. Padfoot saw them as his pack, his family, his only family. And well maybe there was something right with the dog's view.

He tried to jump on his back feet and dance with the humans.

They laughed at his tries, even when he almost managed it.

The two boys and the black dog danced and joked and sang along to Bowie's greatest hits. Padfoot even hit a high tone, which the two others cheered for.

And it was all fun—-

“What the fuck?” Moony entered, standing in the doorline, his scent was even stronger when he was Padfoot.

“Oh, Remus dear, why don´t join our little party?” Prongs asked him, continuing to dance.

Remus eyed them sceptically, then rolled his eyes, “I suppose this was the dog's idea?”

And at that exact comment, Padfoot decided to change back to defend his honour.

“Actually it was the deers' idea, wolf-boy,” when he was back to his human form, his hair always ended up horrendous, so he ran to the mirror and took a moment to fix it.

That made Remus only laugh, he always found amusement in Sirius´ vain nature.

“Wolfboy? That's new,” he mumbled while taking off his brown leather jacket. It looked old, but in a cool worn-in way.

“Sirius nicknames are as bad as him,” peter snorted meanly, probably cause he was bitter for being left out of their little mayhem.

“Oi Ratboy, I wouldn't laugh, when I look as you do,” Sirius turned to him.

“Shut up Sirius, don't be mad cus he´s right,” Remus added, nodding at Peter, the black-haired boy hated when they teamed up against him. Since when were they even this good friends?

Sirius didnt notice till now, but someone had turned off the music, “HEY, who turned it off,” he shouted angrily.

“Enough Sirius, im tired, and got homework, ye should do 'em too? Yer not doing good in Potions.” Remus argued, looking at him with a weary face.

“To my defence, nobody´s good in potions,” he defended himself, but still annoyed at the interruption of their little dance. “Also we had a dance party goin on here.”

“In our dorm room, with three lads? On a Monday? Without any alcohol? You fuckin Twpsyn.” he said in amazement.

“What? Is that some welsh insult– well you're a fuckin twpsyn too,” he tried his best to say the word as Remus had but since he was not a welsh man it sounded ridiculous.

Remus and Peter looked at each other for a brief second, before they laughed.

“´m sorry you can't fuckin dance with alcohol in your system lad, but some of us got real rhythm,” he wiggled his hips in a move to intimate Presley, which was bloody on all the time thanks to Peter. Who even liked Elvis?

Which only earned him a laugh from James, as he came from behind him putting an arm around his shoulders.

Remus turned around quickly without a word. When he sat on the bed, he grabbed a book from his bedside table and put it in his lap to read probably. Moony sent Sirius a look, through his barely open eyes.

“Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, I've got a greeaat proposition,” James smiled with a twinkle in his eye.

“Oh, im curious?” Remus said with a small trail of sarcasm in his voice.

“Lads, Mckinnon and Lily are planning a little party for our beloved Mary this Saturday, whaddya say we join in and make it even grander? More of a party?” he smiled spilling the secret, which made Sirius curious on how he even knew.

“Fuck yes, I need some fun,” Sirius groaned, immediately accepting James' idea like the loyal friend he was. Also, it was Mary. And Sirius would do anything for the dear girl.

Peter nodded eagerly, “Yes, im in ´s long as you convince Longbottom.”

“Done, Frank loves a good party, and it's a house bonding activity, so it´ll be fun,” James said.

“Remus?” James looked at Moony who looked like he was thinking of something.

Oh, of course.

“Moons not until the 6th, so you´ve got two weeks at least,” Sirius told, and Remus looked a bit surprised.

“Oh well, then there's no reason not to, fuck it, let's do it, but I can't buy the drinks this time, the hag in the village, refuses to sell to me,” he told them.

“What why?” James looked taken aback.

“Eh, might have insulted her that last time I went back,” he looked down at his shoes. “Called her sglyfath.” he mumbled the last part.

Peter laughed loudly, he looked a bit proud, when did Peter know welsh?

But Sirius was only confused. “What does it mean??”

“Eh, I basically called her disgusting, that she´s repulsive— its proper mean,” he explained, and even if his words sounded apologetic, it did not look like Remus was sorry.

“REMUS! Thas proper west,” James laughed at it.

But Sirius was still confused. “Why would you say that? What did she say to make you angry?” he asked because it was very unlike him to insult people in that manner.

“Errr, she might have made a pass on me,” he told them, and Sirius's eyes expanded.

“You havin' a laugh? She fuckin hit on you? The hag?” he was shocked, the woman was horrendous.

“Well yes, I tried to be polite, turn her down politely ye know? She was pushy, I just wanted the drinks, and I might have insulted her in welsh. But bloody of course, she´s the only lass in all of Scotland knowin´ Welsh and she cursed me and me entire family, so I doubt she´ll sell to me again,” he finished, lookin at his friends. “Funny right?”

“Funny? That's bloody disgusting, I refuse to give that hag a single penny, she can go fuck herself,” Sirius was furious for that older hag to try it on Remus. He was only fifteen, that had to be illegal.

“Yeah I agree with Padfoot, that's vile,” Peter looked almost as annoyed as him.

And James nodded seriously, “We can find someone else, there's loads of 'em in Hogsmeade.”

Remus nodded carefully, but his eyes lit up slightly, “Yea, but it wasnt as bad as it sounds, obviously, im a– well you know, so I can defend myself.”

“We know, let's see those strong muscles again Moony,” Sirius said batting his lashes.

“Piss off,” he pulled off his shoes, getting comfortable in his bed. He spread his books in the bed and began. “Nah I mean it, both of you get out,” he pointed at Sirius and James.

“Uh, why me? Am no bother,” James protested lookin at Remus with the Potter smile that his entire family had. Pearly white teeth, with no flaws. James was perfection reincarnated.

Remus didnt even bother with an answer all he did was tilt his head slightly and raise his brows, and James left the room chuckling. “Got it, Remus.”

“Its alright Moony dear, I get why I can't be in here, you need to focus, and im clearly too much of a distraction, eh?” he joked, wiggling his brows, which made peter scoff, even if his eyes were still on his little sketch thingy.

But Remus did look at him. Not with any of the carefreeness he used to. No, he looked like he was concentrating. Very hard. On Sirius?

“Oi wait Prongs im comin´,” Sirius shouted. Hurrying after his friend, who was already down the stairs.

And since this was such a fortunate day, the black-haired boy fucking fell. Not all the way down, but enough for it to make him feel a fool.

“Elegant Black,” Mckinnon commented, 'cause she had walked past at the right moment. He only nodded smiling like a fool. Cause he was still a bit riled.

“Wheeey!” Someone had shouted.

“Did you really fall down the stairs Padfoot?” James was half laughing and a half asking.

But Sirius wasnt in the mood for the boys' jokes, “Piss off Potter, you fuckin left somethink in the stairs for me to trip over.”

“Did you Potter know that's not very goody goody,” Mary sneaked behind James´ shoulder out of nowhere.

Sirius took a minute to look at them. Mary and James, are right beside each other. It made sense, they looked good together. Both are equally beautiful, and with energy out of this world. Both smiled way too much and talked to anyone who would listen. People like Mary and James made sense together. It was how it was supposed to be. Wasn't it?

“No, Mary oh no I didnt, this clown likes to blame others ye see?” James explained to her, while lookin as handsome as ever.

Mary stood beside him and smiled along, “Oh don't i know it, not as graceful as we´d all think hm?” she stared Sirius up and down with a false judging look.

“Oh fuck off, the pair of you,” Sirius walked away, while he heard Mary giggle and waltz over to Marlene.

“Oi Sirius, don't be mad you´re not as nimble as me love,” he smiled jumping right back at his side. Cause James was as loyal as they came.

“Eh I ain't mad, but what was that flirtin´ thing you did over there with Mary?” he tried to blend in the topic naturally. He was not planning on telling Prongs. No that would have been so mean, and mary did not deserve his cruelty. Even if he wanted to tell.

“Flirtin?? With Macdonald? You must be blind mate, there was not flirtin´ done, im just naturally charmin´.” James told as it justified it.

“Oh come on, are you telling me you don't fancy her? She is bloody gorgeous.”

“Nah, she's my friend Sirius, Don't be dumb, also I want to focus on myself this year, no birds,” he explained himself, with a smug look like he was proud of coming to that conclusion.

“Prongs dear, you are aware that's what ugly people say when they can't get a proper shag?” he said flatly.

“You smug fuckin slag,” James shouted while laughing. He tried to wrestle Sirius to the ground like they had done when they were younger. But Sirius anticipated his move and moved ducked away.

“Might be vain, but at least this fuckin slag, gets some fuckin.” he might have shouted it too loud, 'cause some scared first years hurried up the stairs when they heard.

“Shuddup you twats, there's children ´ere!” a girl shouted so loud across the room that it could only be Evans. And both of the did indeed shut up immediately. The redhead had proved herself to be a brilliant Prefect, to Sirius's annoyance.

“Ah, I think we should shut up?”

“Great idea Prongs.”

“Wait there was something I wanted to talk to you about actually,” James remembered while looking a bit nervous.

“Oh? And what could that be? You look nervous James— wait are you proposing, oh James yes, of course, I will marry you,” he said, joking with his friend. Because he felt glad to be able to do so. To have the opportunity to do so.

James chuckled pretending to open a box with his hands, “with this little ring we´ll be family.” The joke continued but the mention of family, made Sirius feel iffy.

“Ah yes please save me from that horrendous family I come from,” he meant it. Cause they were truly horrendous, like some nightmare come live. “Glad you´re choosin me over that terrible oak of a brother I have, seems like everyone chooses him lately.”

James looked at him first he looked a bit, well, maybe a bit scared. Which was odd, cause Prongs was the bravest lad he knew.

“Yeah mate, I´d marry you over your little broth any day,” he told with a straight face. And it might have sounded odd to anyone listening to their conversation. But it made sense to them.

It was a thing of loyalty. Of that Sirius mattered as a family to him, and likewise. Cause loyalty was important to Sirius. Even if the noble house of Black would say something different.

“Thanks, James, I mean I knew that, but it is nice to hear ye say prongs.”

“You´d make a dashing bride as well if it helps,” he added with a smirk. Maybe he would.

“I´d be dashin´ in anything, just look at me.”

James rolled his eyes at the tone of his cockiness, which was ironic cause James was a lot cockier than Sirius. Anyone with eyes and ears would know. Just by watching him, you could see. With his messed up hair. And even the way he walked. Sirius had spent all of his first year imitating James' walk. It was funny now that he thought about it.

Oh, he had actually imitated anything his friends did, he tried badly to get rid of whatever characteristics he had from his home. He even tried to do Remus´ welsh/cockney accent, cause the boy had a funny mix of them. Remus had been annoyed he remember, he thought that the boy made fun of him. Also peter, he liked peters vocabulary, his salty comments, and he spent a lot of time around the blond in their first year.

Thankfully for all of them, Sirius had stopped doing so a long time ago. Cause he discovered that he himself wasnt bad, he was actually quite funny. And Sirius had style, a proper cool one, he might talk a bit funny, mixing to many accents together, but no one really minded. They thought it made him more interesting, and after all being interesting is one the best things you can be. It gives you attention.

“You might be Padfoot, but remember who was there for you when you got that pimple back in second year.”

“Oi, you twat, I have skin as clear as water now anyway, thank your mother for that ginger cream,” he remember how it saved him, and still let his skin look radiant. Maybe people were right, was he really that vain?

“Course mate,” they had by then found their way to the red sofas that occupied the middle of the common room. Most students were revising or doing homework.

“What was it you wanted to tell me?” Sirius remembered how James had wanted to tell him something, something important it seemed like.

“Err yea right, eh it was—the food, right food— Mum wanted to send some dhal? Yes, and she forgot what seasoning you liked so much, the one you moan about all the time?” he stumbled over his words, Sirius wasnt sure why, it seemed very out of character for James.

But again the boy could be as unpredictable as him, or maybe not just as, but he wasnt the most predictable boy he knew.

“Well, I did like Elakkai, but tell your mum it's no bother if she´s not got it in,” he explained, 'cause he didnt want to seem spoiled, even though the green cardamom really elevated the dish.

“Yes Elakkai, love that stuff, you know mum gets it imported specially from Nagercoil, me mums' city,”

“Really? Is it from a wizard community or muggles?” he often found himself interested in anything that could have to do with the mundane lives of muggles. How would muggles transport, fresh mints and spices from a city in India, all the way to Liverpool in England? That seemed absorbed to Sirius, even though he didnt want to say it out loud, in case it would be offensive to ask.

“A small Tamilian witch community, my aayaa was part of it, when she was still alive, bless her soul,” he told Sirius.

“Well that's interesting, not about your grandma, ´m sorry bout that,” he wasnt very good with anything relating to death. When his own grandparents died, nothing happened, no one shed a single tear, not even Walburga, who was their only daughter. He hadn't known them even when he was a child they were known to him as the old people he wasnt supposed to talk to.

James smiled his warm smile, “´s alright, she lived a long life, a long happy life, brilliant witch as well, I think I sort of look like ´er.”

“Did she have a cheeky smile like yours?” he tried, hoping it wasnt too rude to ask about someone dead.

It hadn't been too rude, just enough for James to bring up his cheeky smile. “Oh even cheekier if you believe, when she visited Liverpool once she even said—”

“JAmees, Siriuees,” peter pettigrew ran up to them.
Sirius flinched at the sudden shouting from his blond friend.

“Why are you screaming you daft fuck?” Sirius asked annoyed that James had been interrupted cause he wanted to hear the rest.

He looked hurt for a very brief second till he pulled himself together.
“Eh? Did you just ask me? Why I am screaming, Mister Battle crier of Gryffindor tower?” he snapped back looking him up and down.

James snorted, and Sirius turned to him, with an expression that read `you're supposed to be on my side`, James only shrugged in response.

“Im here lads, cus moony´s found us a gent to fix us up with beverages, and maybe even some more,” he said winking at Sirius.

Oh.

“Fucking finally!” Sirius exclaimed. “Is it the fun stuff, that the girls had last year?”

Peter nodded enthusiastically, “Im pretty sure.”

James looked a bit sceptical, cause he´d never been big on drugs. “This geezers reliable? Not some old man tricking dumb teens into dying?”

“James, stop bein´ such a mum,” Sirius argued, 'cause he´d take anything, even if it was ´unreliable´, that's how desperate he was on some.

“Piss off Padfoot, it is important to know, ´s life and death,” he lectured.

Sirius only grumbled in response, he was getting deeper and deeper into this pissy mood, by the minute.

“`m pretty sure this man´s alright, Remus met him through his job this summer, he works at hogs head inn, ye know the dingy pub?”

“I do, quite frankly, but I dunno, how well do Moony know him?” James asked.

Peter bit his lip for a small second, which told Sirius that the boy was about to rip a joke, he knew these bastards too well. “Enough to know he won't fancy him,” James laughed, but Sirius found the joke too predictable to be funny, and he only scowled at his friend.

“I need alcohol Pete, and somethin´ stimulating, Not your terrible fucking humour, I can't with this boring school,” he confessed to them. He did know he was the more reckless out of the four of them, but that didn't mean he´d let them make dumb decisions cause they wanted to be safe, whatever that meant.

But he craved it in his blood, to let it flow there. Felt right. It always felt right.

“Calm down ye boozer, we´ll get it, let's just make sure we don't die along the way eh?” James looked at him sternly.

“Eh, I guess, but the guy seems alright, he´s a local, that's good?” Sirius said, pleading his case.

“I do think Remus said the man is an intelligent wizard, and they discussed runes for an hour at the cafe, during his break,” Peter said a bit bitterly, but smiling still.

James nodded slowly, “I mean, ancient runes do sound reliable, but I´ll as Mckinnon as well, she knows more about the people down there—”

“And the drugs.”

*

23rd September 1975

“What's his name ´gain?” Marlene asked Remus, they were sitting in the great hall eating dinner.

It was steak, and kidney pie that day.

“Dunno, he never said,” he answered her, mouth full of pie.

“You talked with the bloke for what, hours, and ye just neve´ asked for his name?” she asked in disbelief. She talked with her hands a lot, so since her hands were occupied, she waved the fork where the food was. He looked at it, thinking it would fall off it. But it didnt.

“Didnt bother, he was ancient, I think, and said he owned a pub in Hogsmeade, that I should visit, so whaddya say eh?”

“Calm down Remus, lets hear what Mckinnon thinks first, you heard of him?” James asked, eating his food a piece of bread on the side, something he preferred.

She thought for a second, “aye, I´ve seen him, heard he supplies the drugs aroun, don´t think he´s a fraud, he from aroun here?”

“don't think he´s Scottish no, didnt have an accent, and he acted proper british ye know? think he´s an English man,” he informed.

“That's disgustin´, whats all these bloody English doin´ up here?” she did sound a bit repulsed, so Sirius backed a bit away from her, it only made her look more annoyed.

“Ha– that's what I thought too when he told me, My thought was exactly ´why bloody Scotland of all places´?”

“Oi, careful, your half English ye know, you're on thin thread, be glad that your Welshness makes a bit up for it,” it was worded like a joke, but her tone and facial expression seemed too Serious for it to be one.

Remus rolled his eyes and took a deep gulp from the pumpkin juice he had with his food. “Gotta thank me mam for that one,” he mumbled.

“But im alright right Marls? Im not english-english,” James asked, joining in on the conversation.

“Eh man you're the most scouse Liverpudlian I've met, you´re more English than peter,” she argued.

He smiled a bit proudly all teeth of course before James asked Remus to pass him the potatoes which he did.

“So what ab—”

“No Pettigrew,” Marlene interrupted him.

“Worth a try,” he only huffed in response.

They talked for a while, about Hogsmeade, and of the man that worked there.

Sirius didnt find it in him to interrupt them with his uselessness, cause he didnt know anything about it. It was Moony and Marlene's field, hell, even Peter knew more of it.

He thought that nobody noticed, cause he wouldn't even notice, when he was the one talking he didnt notice anyone but himself talking.

The plate in front of him was full, he had put on vegetables and a big slice of pie.

Someone nudged him, they tugged on his shirt, “what's that?” Remus asked him.

“Uh what?” he heard his voice sounding hoarse, from the lack of speaking.

“The green on your plate, what is it?” he asked him again, looking at the vegetables that were soaked in hollandaise sauce.

“Eh s´ asparagus, with some sauce, found it with the Ravenclaw table,” he answered, but only looking at his plate. “used to eat it when i was younger,” Remus inspected it, like it was something foreign to him. It might have been.

“Do you want to taste?” Sirius asked.

“Nah ´s alright im full.” he informed him, showing of his clean plate.

“Bullocks, you´re never proper full you moony,” he insisted as he collected a lot of it, on his own fork.

Remus smiled at his accuracy and opened his mouth slightly when Sirius pushed the fork towards him. Sirius might have put too much on it or maybe Remus hated it, cause the boy started choking on it.

Many people turned their heads looking at their little group. While James patted Remus on the back trying to help.

“Here´s water Remus, drink it,” Peter pushed a cup to him, and even if a lot of the Water spilled out of the cup. Remus grabbed it in desperation and drank it.

Looked so natural, to them. Like Peter could read Remus's mind, like he knew what he needed. Cause they were just close in that way.

When he wasnt choking anymore, he looked Sirius dead in the eyes with glossy eyes. “Was that an attempt on me life Sirius Black?”

“Eh whaddya mean, I just fed you some culinary delicates moony?”

Remus held back his sharp tongue, “it has an interesting taste, but did you have to shove it down my throat like that?” he questioned instead of judging his taste buds. Sirius's ego appreciated that.

“OH god, Remus right, this ain't proper scab,” a not as-mild James said before Sirius had time to answer.

“Piss off that's my culture you´re talking of,” Sirius had joked, even if his ego appreciated the honest response less.

“Ah-ah, forgot Black is french! Neve mind Pettigrew and Potter, if anythin´ the french gotta win the trophy,”

“Pffft, not with Pettigrew's family history..” Sirius trailed off but when he looked up they were all looking at him as if he´d said something wrong. Oh, he had, hadn't he?

“´s not funny Sirius,” peter swallowed a big bite of something.

“You've got a problem Wormtail? you're actin like a bird on the blob,” he felt a bit confrontational, asking such a question.

“Nae, a lass during her periods fuckin stronger than the lot of you,” she mumbled a bit rudely at him.

“Well I think you're a twat, and you're the one who been all mean and moody lately, and no it doesn't suit you, you– you vain pig,” Peter argued with him, not happy at the comparison apparently.

It was the last thing he´d said before he quite literally sprinted out of the hall.

James followed him because he knew Sirius would be fine. Right? That was the reason. Sirius wasnt a sensitive girl, not the way Wormtail was. James liked him the best.

Then why did he leave you? He went after Peter and didnt even acknowledge you.

“What the fuck was that about?” Remus asked Sirius, because the three of them remained seated. He had to remind himself, that they had stayed.

But they were still eating, or Marlene was. Remus was full. Had he stayed for Sirius?

“No idea mate, think Wormtails a bit sensitive innit?”

Remus looked at him as if he was missing something obvious.

“I swear you lot are worse than Lily and Mary, and men call us lass dramatic?” she joked while lookin exhausted.

Sirius felt eager to change the subject since Remus was currently judging him with his eyes. It's insane how much a pair of eyes can do to one.

“Yeah what's goin´ on with em anyway, they bickerin´ or sum?” he asked her, trying to move entirely towards her instead of him.

“Black, I've got no idea, they're just bein´ weird, you know they've been odd since that trip to London,” she began her brown eyes darting to the tall bloke. “Did anythin´ happen Lupin?” she asked.

He was still judging Sirius with his eyes. But he answered Marlene.

“Not really, can't remember half of it, we had fun, don't think they were off then, must have happened after,” he answered, but he didnt look at her.

“Weird,” she nodded to herself, thinking for a second till she decided to leave as well. “Gotta go– You, Lupin, tell me when we´re meetin this odd fella of yours yeah?”

“We?”

“Well aye, of course, im a native so it´ll go easier if I go with you, and im not lettin´ you go on your own, heard the last one tried it on you?”

Remus looked unpleasantly surprised, “Where did ya hear that from?” he asked calmly.

“Oh you know around, ill see ya alright Remus,” she put her bag on one shoulder, “You too black, remember practice at seven,” she nodded at him.

“It was probably Peter you know,” Sirius found himself saying without thinking it through

Cause right after, Remus gave him an annoyed look. “Man, what is your problem, you've been proper rude all week, especially to Peter?”

“I've not, he´s just irritating me,” Sirius defended himself,

“Right, and it's got nothin to do with what you told me?” Remus raised a brow. He regretted telling Remus about it, in a way. He felt a bit vulnerable, not that Remus had

“No Moony, it's Petes fault, why are you even defending him?” he asked

“Cause he´s my friend Sirius,” the taller boy answered.

“Uh, and what am I? The annoying cockroach that lives in your dorm?”

“Tha´s actually a real good description— fuckin hell, ´m jokin´ Padfoot, no need to get aggressive,” he answered to the hit he got on his arm from the black-haired boy.

“Sorry can't help it, im a roach remember?” Sirius said pretending to be annoyed, even though he wasnt, cause it was hard to be annoyed at Remus, not like it was with Peter.

Remus smiled a rare smile, “You´ll neve´ change will ye Sirius?” it wasn't a question, and even if it was it didnt feel like one.

“You know you love me like this.” Remus didnt change his expression, or did he? Sirius could honestly not tell if he had.

“Jus leave him be,” Remus said instead.

Sirius wanted to argue, cause if he knew he was good at anything, it was arguing, “Yes, suppose I should.”

“Mm, still don´t get why, why you attack him so?”

“Dunno, its jus easy,” it was easy, being mean, maybe it came easier to him.

“Easy´s not always best,” Remus answered.

“Well i don't aspire to be the bloody nicest bloke in Hogwarts, im glad bein the most handsome,” not that he could have that either, 'cause that was probably James, or maybe Remus.

“You fuckin idiot,” Remus had said, but Sirius didnt believe that Remus thought he was a fuckin idiot.

“Maybe but at least im—”

“Oh just shut up Sirius,” Remus interrupted, looking him up and down, maybe he wasnt in the mood for his jokes

Remus looked weary, perhaps from the world or was the school already getting him, was it getting harder, the school curriculum? Sirius didnt know, even though he should know, but focusing on the classes was difficult when everything else was much more interesting.

“Want to get back at Avery, for stealin´ your paper today?” Sirius asked, he´d surprisingly heard about it from Evans. The only thing they had in common was their friendship with Moony, and she´d been annoyed about it.

“You heard about it?”

“Yeah, Evans told me, why´d you even let him?”

“Course she did, I jus couldn't be bothered with him, he´s real prissy, and it wasnt any important paper, guess it wasnt worth it.”

“Still think we should do revenge, you've got homework?”

“No, I finished most of the stuff for the week, still want to do some reading ´bout rules of magical beasts during the middle ages,” Remus said, looking like he was thinking of it.

“Well, even though that sounds real exciting, I think we should give the brute a proper scare, you can do your readings later,” he tried to convince the other boy.

“´m not sure pads,” he dragged out the words.

“C´mon you hate him, and I´ve got a lovely idea,” he said even though he didnt have one, but Remus didnt have to know that yet. Sirius could tell him when they were halfway there, and Remus was clever enough to find a plan by the time they were there.

“Ah fuck it, yes okay im with. But you gotta hurry and eat your food, you´v still got a full plate,” he nodded towards the plate that was in front of him.

“Nah im proper full, we can go already yes?” he said, glad that Remus agreed.

Remus quirked up an eyebrow, “But what about your green asparagus?” he had asked.

“Eh, doesn't taste as it used to,” Sirius answered honestly, the food didnt not taste the same as it did when he was a child, his uncle would cook it. He liked making food. Even though Walburga and uncle Cygnus would laugh at their brother for it, Alphard was excellent. And all of the children loved his cooking. Sirius sometimes remembered moments like that from his childhood and thought that it couldn't have been all bad.

If Remus was confused, he didnt show it, “Alright then, you up for a smoke before we ruin this fuckers life?” he asked instead.

And Sirius smiled, nodding happily, 'cause his friend knew him too well.

*

26th September 1975

The rest of the week went too slow for his liking. It was a week filled with all the nonsense in the world.

It was finally Saturday, and he was over the moon.

The entire school was ready for this party, Sirius heard people talk of it the entire week. It was even more special that this was the first party of the year and a celebration of the most popular witch in their year.

It was a wonder how Mary hadn't heard of it yet, but people had been actually very good at keeping it from her.

Marlene and Remus had snuck out to the village yesterday and met the man. He´d been proper nice, even gave Remus a discount on it. He´d bought a lot of alcohol. And to Sirius's delight something that the wizard said was popular with the teens around, Stardust Remus had called it. It was white and looked like powdered sugar.

He had only had some crushed pills in his drinks before, or some of the fun fags that Marlene sometimes bought along, but he had never tried the white powder. It wasnt magical, so he wasnt sure how well it would work, even though the name suggested otherwise.

This time he was ready long before the others, so he was sitting in the common room, relaxing and waiting on Moony so they could take the weird drug together.

The blonde was currently distracting her curly-haired friend, with whatever. And they were supposed to be back at six, the clock was currently four.

He watched while James got the room ready running from side to side, to make it look as he envisioned. Sirius thought that he looked exactly as his mum had the last Christmas he´d spent with the Potters, and he meant that as a compliment.

Evans was assisting him, since it was her idea, the theme, and all. A disco party. Mary loved a good disco and so did everyone.

The Vance girl was excited to hear of the Party, and she had been a great help, spreading the word to other houses. She had also shown them many fun recipes to hide the taste of alcohol in drinks. James who loathed the taste was especially glad for that.

And the common room did look rather good, better than it looked normal, but James was still fretting, and Remus was nowhere to be found.

“Oi Evans, where´s moony at?” he shouted at the redhead who was passing by at the right moment.

She turned around to eye him up and down before she responded. “Dunno where your moony is, but I know that those trousers are the wrong size.”

“It's fashion you ginger,” he responded accordingly.

“Fuck of Black, i aint got time for you and your antics,” she cursed at him before the stressed girl ran to berate James on how he had placed the banner wrongly.

He wasnt even wearing anything too wild. Or maybe a bit wild. But he felt good in it. Maybe the slacks were tighter than they should be, but so what? It wasnt like his parents were around to see. Also, he looked good in them. So it didn't matter what Evans' opinion about them was. They were high-waisted and tight on the top but went wide on the bottom.

Sirius had paired it off with a loose dark tanktop, it was a ragged and old one from Andromeda. She threw it away years ago, or so she thought, Sirius had nicked it, as he did with a lot of her stuff. It had a very brief picture of some sort of logo, a band perhaps? Maybe one day when they'd see each other again he´d give it back and ask her. Along with some tough boots, he´d bought them in Hogsmeade the weekend before. They were cheap, not of the best quality but they looked alright for the night, and they also made him a tad taller, something Sirius was all for.

And as he was laying there he saw some waves of blonde hair and jumped right up. “Moony?!” but it wasnt.

“Not Remus, sorry to disappoint,” Peter said as he sat down beside him. He was looking surprisingly good, surprisingly cause peter never usually put time or effort into his appearance. But it was clear that he had this time. He had put some gel in his hair, probably borrowed from James´ huge collection which he never used himself. Also wearing a very clean outfit. Blue jeans, with a black leather belt, on top of it he had on a beige button-up shirt, it looked very complimentary to his natural look.

Peter smiled at him with sincerity. He hadn't really realised how unfair he´d been towards the boy lately. Maybe he could blame his situation at home, or he could say it was school stress, but that would have all been lies. Truth was that Peter was nicer than him, he was gooder, better whatever you´d call it. Cause even after that, he smiled at him like a friend. He tried to ignore it. But Sirius felt bad.

“You never disappoint,” he smiled back at him, clapping his shoulder.

Peter squinted at him. Was he really that rarely nice to his mate? God, he really had to change his ways.

“Im sorry Pete, for the way I've been this week, it's not fair to you,” he finally found the words to say. Cause sirius was a stubborn bloke, he rarely backed down, and he almost never apologised. But he felt like Peter deserved one, and explanation at least.

Peter frowned slightly, “I just don't get why Padfoot, I understand its part of your banter to be a bit vicious every now and then, but you've been proper mean y´know, and I feel like i´v done something wrong, but I can't remember that I have? Do you just don't like me?” he ended his rant with a question that pierced his heart.

´do you just don't like me?´ he had asked. And he looked at him like he meant the question. Which was even worse for fucks sake.

“Of course, not Pete, you're my best mate, id die for you y´know?” he simply said, 'cause it was true. He´d die for every single one of the Marauders. He cared for them way more than what was healthy.

Pete thankfully looked a bit relieved, he believed him and nodded, “Im glad, but it still doesnt add up Sirius, why?” he asked the simple question, with a simple answer.

If Sirius was a better liar, he would have lied, he would have lied beautifully so, but he wasnt. “Eh well, its— I dunno, I suppose its jus´ jealousy?” he had suggested, and maybe it was true. Maybe Sirius had come to the realisation a couple of nights ago when he was laying in his bed unable to think about anything else.

“Are you havin' a laugh? You? Sirius Black, jealous? Of me?” Peter looked in disbelief.

“It's jus, you and Moony are so close, I feel like you´ve all gotten close´ without me, and im sorry, I've been takin it out on you.” he apologised while explaining the conclusion hed come to. It sounded childish saying it out loud, and he felt like Peter would laugh, but he didnt.

Peter smiled instead, his dimples showing. “Oh Sirius, you can be so stupid sometimes,” he didnt say it meanly as he could have, instead the blond boy beamed at him, and Sirius couldn't help but join him in it.

“Shut up, I mean it.” he tried to stay serious, but it was hard to do so, and he couldn't do anything about it when his face pulled into a genuine smile.

“I do too you tosser, Remus is as close with you as he is with you, you´ve not missed anything, you're just being your usual paranoid self, now calm your tits and enjoy the night alright;” he said it in one go, and he said it in a way Sirius had no choice but believe it.

“Yes alright, but don't make it sound like im a whiny child.”

Peter scoffed, “I didnt make you sound like it, you just are one.”

“Oh I´ve missed you Wormtail.” he meant it.

“I never left, you fool,” Peter rolled his eyes but he was still smiling.

Sirius knew that, but sometimes it was easy to lose people, even if they were around, it was hard for them to reach him as well as the other way. He might always struggle with that, but he was lucky to have people like Peter, around him.

“So it wasnt you who marched out of the great hall a couple of days ago?”

Peter's eyes widened and he looked red from head to toe. “Piss off, I was maybe a tad annoyed alright,” he admitted.

“No, I get it, I was out of line, also you looked proper cool doin´ so,” he informed the blond.

And his eyes lit up for a second. “Wait really, 'cause I actually did feel proper good, even if Prongs ruined it a bit when he followed after me.”

“I feel like James does that on purpose sometimes, just smashes our moments,” he joked, but sort of meant it, maybe that was what it was like having a brother.

Peter laughed but nodded, agreeing to the statement he´d made.

“You know the lad had Moony question the man for half an hour about the drugs he got us,” Sirius said but with a lower voice in case anyone would hear. The stuff was expensive, and only for the marauders, maybe the girls if they asked nicely, they were not planning on drugging the entire school either.

“Oh Remus got some then?” Peter asked curiously.

“Mmm, stardust he called it, ´m waiting for him now, said he´d help me with it,” he explained.

Peter's eyebrows rose up.

“You've heard of it then?”

“Well yes, it's a bit stronger than what we´re used to innit?”

“So? I need stronger Pete, ´m bored to death, and Moony´s had it before, so it's gotta be alright,” he explained, trusting his friend completely.

“If you say so, but don't get addicted or something, heard it´s real addictive,” he warned, but not like a mum would, so Sirius didnt feel annoyed like he did when James warned.

“So you don't want to try?” Sirius asked.

“Nah im testing that, you know for safety´s sake.”

***

“Finally your lanky arse shows up,” Sirius said when Remus finally arrived, he had hurried them into the closest bathroom.

“Piss off Padfoot, I had to help this third year with a charm,” Remus said while he took out a small bag filled with the stardust.

He was wearing washed-out loose denim jeans, with a tighter maroon red jumper. His hair was hanging loose and curled around his ears. Remus´ tan from the summer was still there, and his freckles had not disappeared yet. He looked good.

“What charm?” Peter asked.

“The extension charm,” he mumbled, all while leaning over the sink, putting out some of the white powder on the grey sink.

“Oh, I remember that one, Sirius forgot it during that one test we had. Used the confundus charm on Flitwick in hope that he´d be too confused to tell,” Peter reminded them, and Sirius couldn't help but smile when remembered.

Remus chuckled while he was cutting lines with the powder.

“Never seen the little man so angry, he gave me detention for a fuckin month,” he cursed angrily, while lookin at himself in the mirror, styling his hair, trying to have it stay up, instead of laying flat.

“You used a spell on a teacher, you should be glad they didnt suspend you,” Remus muttered giving him a look through the mirror.

“As they´d ever do, im Sirius Black remember,” his last name was more powerful than he´d ever be, but he couldn't wait till the day it no longer came after his name.

“Right, uh well, the lines are ready,” Remus said as he stepped away from the counter where he´d cut a couple of lines of the white powder. “Listen, lads, this is hard drugs alright? Promise to only try it this once, ´s very addictive,” he told them.

“Yeah yeah sure moony, how do you know if it? You ever done it?” Sirius asking all the important questions, even if he knew that Remus had indeed done it, he wanted a story, something for Remus to share with them.

Remus hesitated to answer like the mysterious bloke he was, “Eh just this once a while ago, don´t think ´bou it,” he had said, but Sirius found it hard not to think of.

“But–”

“Alright then we gotta hurry, marys goin´ to be back whenever now,” Remus had interrupted, pulling up a straw he´d formed with paper.

“Who up first?”