Chapter Eighteen- Dorcas Meadowes
Dorcas Meadowes
Dorcas doesn’t know how to feel about her recent break up. She just wishes she could go back to their night together, she just wants to kiss Marlene’s scar, and watch as her dimples spread across her face when she smiles. She wants to hold her as she sleeps.
It’s been a week today, and Marlene hasn’t so much as looked in her direction. Her heart longs for her, but she’s just as upset with her.
Was it all for nothing? Are they just destined to hate each other?
Dorcas is putting on her quidditch uniform. “I don’t know why you’re tryin, Dorcas. Teams not going to win without Mulcibler “ Mathilda comments bitterly.
Dorcas pulls her striped green shirt down “shut up, he wasn’t even that good , he got what he deserved” Dorcas snaps back.
Mathilda scoffs “He got what he deserved?” She repeats Dorcas’s words. “He was doing what we all wanted to do. Mudbloods don’t belong in this school” she defends squinting her eyes at Dorcas.
“I don’t. he doesn’t belong in this school if he’s using dark magic “ Dorcas grits out, tugging her hand guards on.
“Oh come on-“ She starts.
“Bye Mathilda “ Dorcas dismisses , walking out of the dorm. Mathilda’s the reason Marlene broke up with her, all because of her fucking believes. Dorcas can’t even stand talking to her at the moment.
Dorcas gets onto the field, she scans around her for Marlene, who’s talking to Amelia bones. Casually placing her hand on her shoulder as she laughs.
Dorcas feels jealousy bubbling in her chest the more they touch each other. Amelia isn’t in Gryffindor, what is she even doing here? Talking to Marlene. My Marlene.
The whistle blows and Marlene turns her head to madam hooch then back to Amelia, giving her a kiss on the cheek as she leaves.
Fury clouds Dorcas’s mind. She sees Marlene turn her head to her. The first time she’s looked at her all week. And she smirks. She sees right through Dorcas’s jealousy.
That fucking smirk is going to be the death of me.
Dorcas grabs her broom, and once she’s in the air all she can focus on is Marlene.
And Amelia bones, she hates her, she hates Marlene. She hates this all.
“Where’s your head at Meadowes?” Asking Regulus “you nearly got hit by that bludger” he points to Marlene who had just hit a bludger in Dorcas direction , missing by an inch.
What is her problem?
Gryffindor ends up winning, Dorcas just wants to get out of there.
Dorcas walks back into the school, her breath heavy and her head hot. She heads to the owerly where she usually goes to get away from everyone but Marlene.
But this time it seems like she just wanted to get away from Marlene. The owerly just floods Dorcas’s mind with memories.
Memories.
She came here to get away from her, and that’s all that seems to be here. Marlene, she’s all over this place, their first kiss and their last.
Yet she’s not here. Dorcas decides to leave, she can’t be there for another moment. She feels like crying, but her eyes are dry. Her heart opened in her chest, her mind clouded with memories.
Dorcas leaves the owerly, and the first thing she sees is Marlene. Dorcas feels her heart flutter just at the sight of her.
“Slytherin lost” Marlene coos “too bad your missing your chaser” she teases
“What the hell was that ?” Dorcas asks, her eyes squinting slightly, her jaw locked.
“What?” Marlene clicks her tongue, the two are about two feet apart and Dorcas just wants to pull her close.
“Kissing Amelia, hitting a bludger at me, what's your problem?” Dorcas grits out.
“Woah” Marlene grins “I knew it would get a rise out of you, but still-” she tilts her head to the right, her tone sending shivers down Dorcas’s spine. “You really are obsessed aren't you? Meadowes “ she teases.
“Fuck you McKinnon “ Dorcas spits out.
“Wouldn’t you like to “ Marlene makes fun. Dorcas’s breath catches in her throat.
Yes.
“No, you're acting like an entirely different person “ Dorcas responds.
“Why? Because I’m not obsessed with you? Get over yourself Meadowes. That whole ‘thing’ was a mistake, I’m the exact same person “ she snaps.
“Fine” Dorcas mutters, leaving Marlene behind “were better off hating each other, because I for one. Hate you” Marlene says as Dorcas leaves, stopping her in her tracks .
Hate you, hate you, Hate you
“Feelings mutual McKinnon “ Dorcas mutters. before she walks away.
***
Dorcas lays in her bed, staring up at the ceiling .
She hates her, again.
Feeling’s mutual.
Maybe they are, maybe Dorcas does hate her. Then why does she feel like this?
I do hate her. Dorcas repeats over and over in her head.
Fuck this. Fuck her.
Dorcas closes her eyes shut hoping her brain will shut off . It eventually does and dorcas fall asleep
In the morning Dorcas sits next to Regulus and Pandora at breakfast, her gaze on her pancakes poking at them . “What’s wrong? Love?” Pandora asks
“Hm? “ Dorcas hums, “nothing”
“She’s just upset because her girlfriend tried to hit her yesterday, “ regulus teases. “ look i don’t know what kind of foreplay shit you guys are into. But you need to chill the fuck out” he adds with a short laugh.
“Ex” Dorcas corrects.
“What?” . Regulus and Pandora ask in unison ,Regulus’s smile fades away instantly . Dorcas lifts her head, “it’s whatever “ she shrugs.
“I’m over it, and I’m over her” Dorcas adds bitterly. Pushing her food away from her. “Not hungry, see you later “ Dorcas sits up, slinging her bag over her shoulder.
Her walk is shortly interrupted by Alice Fortescue, she steps right in front of Dorcas, her smile ecstatic, her curly hair brushed over her shoulders. “What do you want?” Dorcas squints.
“Griffindors having a party tonight , you should come” she cheers “passwords quidditch cup”
What’s up with these gryffindors, they’re all so proud. “I’ve just noticed you talking to Marlene , so any friend of hers is friend of mine and you're welcome to come”
The mention of Marlene makes Dorcas’s stomach twist.
This would be a great way to get back at McKinnon. Dorcas thinks. And to get drunk
“Fine. I’m in” Dorcas states blankly .
“Brilliant, it starts at eight “
“Brilliant “ Dorcas mocks, sarcastically enthusiastic. walking away before she can say anything else.
Dorcas spends the rest of the day in her dorm before she goes to the party. She ends up wearing a blue dress, and clips her braids up into a ponytail. She wears silver flats and decides to not wear any makeup.
She gets to the party and is instantly overwhelmed. She wants to go back to her dorm.
“Meadowes!” James cheers. Coming up to her, Dorcas can smell the scent of booze bouncing off of him
“Potter” Dorcas greets, her lips sealed into a thin smile. “I’m so glad you came!” He yells over the music. Dorcas nods shortly.
She walks over to the drink table, and downs a fire whisky shot. There’s no way in hell she’s going to be here sober .
“Dorcas!” Yells emmeline. “Emmeline?” Dorcas squints, she brings Dorcas into a hug. “I haven’t seen you in forever,” she pulls away.
Dorcas cracks a small smile.
“What have you been up to?”
“Well . I got into a relationship then got broken up with” Dorcas jokes. “Grand” emmeline responds sarcastically .
“I’ve been trying to hit it off with Pandora for months but she doesn’t seem to interested “ emmeline crinkles up her nose.
“Pandora?” Dorcas lifts up another drink to her lips as emmeline nods. “You just got to be more blunt with her Vance '' Dorcas says, raspy the firewhisky burning her throat.
Dorcas looks around the room and her eyes land on Marlene McKinnon her eyes glued to her.
“Hey ‘emm ?” Dorcas questions. “Hm?.” She hums, pulling a drink away from her mouth. “Kiss me” Dorcas says blankly.
“What?” Emmeline chokes out. “Just kiss me” she repeats. “I -uhm Dorcas”
Dorcas pulls Emmeline into a kiss , not caring who sees. Except Marlene.
Dorcas pulls away . “Now go tell pandora how you feel before I strangle you”
“Okay” Emmeline laughs nervously, stumbling away looking for a familiar blonde.
Dorcas looks back to where Marlene was standing and she sees Marlene storming out of the room . She can’t help but feel her lips break into a grin.
“Jesus Meadowes. the hell was that?” James slurs drunkenly , jaw dropped.
“Greeting kiss” Dorcas shrugs. “Well Merlin’s beard, don’t greet me. I’m taken” he wiggles his ring less hand at Dorcas.
Dorcas rolls her eyes “trust me potter I’m not trying to make an honest man out of you” she states.
“Good” James snorts a laugh. Dorcas drinks another shot before wandering around.
She feels her surroundings grow more and more overwhelming as she walks around.
She wishes she could’ve seen the look on Marlene’s face as she kissed Emmeline.
Dorcas decides to walk through the hall to the girls dormitory. She thinks she’s looking around for Marlene but doesn’t necessarily want to see her. She tries to leave. This is all wrong.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Dorcas hears from behind her. Dorcas whips around, coming into frame with Marlene, who has tears rolling down her face.
Her first instinct is to wipe her tears away.
Don’t cry love. She thinks to herself.
But she keeps her hands to herself, a feeling of rage overcomes Dorcas’s mind. “You can’t seriously be crying right now, “ she scoffs. “What do you want from me Marlene. I don’t understand what it is you want” she argues. Marlene wipes away her own tears. Her jaw locking , and her face painted in anger.
“I want you to get out of my common room, and I want you the hell out of my life!” she points, her face turning a light shade of red at her yelling.
Dorcas swallows a breath. “Y’know what” she huffs a wry laugh. “I don’t know what I was thinking getting involved with you, I hate you so much it makes me physically fucking ill “ she points back. She turns her body right around.
She leaves Marlene in the hall, as she exits the common room she swipes the bottle of fire whisky taking a swig from the bottle.
She gets back to her dorm, a couple more shots into the liquor . She’s so angry. Who does she think she is?
She’s pacing around her empty room. Dorcas looks at her bed and just sees Marlene sitting there, just as she was last week. Dorcas blinks a few times causing her to fade away.
Dorcas kicks her bed, “Va te faire foutre Mckinnon ” she spits her French out drunkenly. “ tu es une l'enfoiré” she kicks the bed frame again.
“Je te déteste “ she takes another sip of the whisky, her throat burning with sensation.
“Je te déteste tellement” she repeats, placing the bottle on her nightstand, crawling onto her bed.
“Je te déteste” she mutters again, her French spilling out drunkenly, her voice going quiet.
“Je te déteste. Je te déteste. Je te déteste.” Her voice cracks. “Je te déteste pour m'avoir fait t'aimer “ she says softly into her pillow.
Dorcas hugs her pillow to her chest. “Je te déteste” she says once more, her voice breaking. Tears rolled down her face, her chest heaving.
“Je t’aime , Je t’aime” she cries, bringing her knees up into the pillow , huddling her body into itself. “Je t’aime tellemant ” she whispers once more before falling asleep.