Chapter Seven- Marlene Mckinnion
Marlene Mckinnion
How could she be so stupid.
Marlene has been wracking her brain this past week. she wishes she didn’t have these feelings, she wished she could just forget this ever happened It’s wrong , it would never be respected by here family.
Marlene wishes she was so drunk that night she wouldn’t remember, but she wasn’t. She wasn’t that drunk to begin with, she had only had a couple of drinks.The memories cloud her mind, and can’t seem to go away. She can’t help but feel these feelings . As much as Marlene wishes she could take it back, she doesn't regret it. She can still feel Dorcas’s lips lingering on hers . She finds her self pressing her fingers to her mouth were Dorcas’s lips once were. Marlene hasn’t told anyone, she’s not one to tell secrets, and she doesnt want it going around. But she just wants to speak the words a loud.
“I kissed Dorcas Meadowes” Marlene can just hear herself saying this four very words.
And it makes her stomach squirm every time she thinks of saying it. But Marlene just wants to tell someone.
So she decides shell tell Lily tomorrow , besides Lily isn’t one to gossip. Marlene thinks tomorrow is a rightful time to tell her. Tomorrow Marlene has to meet up with Dorcas for their last study session. And she’s dreading it.
***
Marlene wakes up in the morning wishing she hadn’t. She just wants to go back to bed, but her mind is full with thoughts. Why did these study sessions have to be on a weekend? Marlene sighs, flipping her duvet to the side, unbothered to make her bed. Opening her curtains she finds Marys bed empty and Lily to be sitting on hers. Her legs criss crossed and her nose in a book. Her curly hair covering her face.
“Lils” Marlene call out to her.
Lily looks up “hey marls, sleep alright?”
“Yep” Marlene forms her lips into a line.
“What’s wrong?” Lily asks
Marlene sighs again, bringing herself to walk over to lilys bed. “I have to tell you something “ She sits on lilys bed.
“Thought so” Lily says knowingly, shutting her book.
“But you can’t tell anyone”
“I’m not one to gossip Marlene” She laughs wryly.
“I know you aren’t”
“Okay, what is it”
Marlene takes a deep breath, preparing for the words that are going to escape her lips. “I kissed Dorcas Meadowes” she breaths out.
“You did what?” Lily says her eyes wide behind her glasses. Another voice says the same behind Marlene. Marlene and Lily both look to the door of their room, and there stands Mary.
Oh Godric.
“You kissed Dorcas Meadowes?” Marys jaw dropped , she steps closer “i thought you hated her?”
“I thought that too” Lily adds.
“I did, I do! “ Marlene goes from looking to Mary to lily.
“She hates me too” she looks down to her hands on her lap.
“Well did she kiss you back?” Lily asks.
“I don’t know” Marlene shrugs.
“You don’t know?” Mary squints her eyes to Marlene “what do you mean you don’t know”
“I was drunk! I don’t know” She answers.
“ you were drunk? When was this?” Lily asks
“Last week” Marlene answers.
“Last week!” Lily and Mary say in unison.
“Yes” marlene clicks her tounge.
“Why didn’t you tell us sooner,” lily question.
“Because-” Marlene sighs.
"I didn't know you were er-" mary pauses. Marlene looks to Lily, who's looking at Mary . And Marlene can tell by the look on lily's face. That shes thinking of what mary means by that. "Right sorry , I just thought I'd know if you were- why didnt you say anything?" Mary says sitting on the bed and putting her hand on Marlene’s.
“I dont know” Marlene’s mind is filled with a million different things and can’t find the words to answer any questions. “ I just don’t know” Marlene brings a hand to her temple.
Mary and Lily look at Marlene, not saying a word. Their faces both filed with confusion and worry.
“Just talk about something else, “ Marlene says.
“Alright something else,” Mary starts. She pauses for a moment before opening her mouth to talk again. “ I broke up with Sirius”
“What?” Both Marlene and Lily say In shock.
“What do you mean?” Lily adds.
“I just think were better off as friends.” Mary shrugs.
“When did this happen?” Marlene asks.
“Last night”
“Are you alright?” Marlene questions
“Yeah I’m fine, good actually”
“Good?” Lily furrows her brows.
“I think I like someone else, but I don't know” Mary shrugs, her eyes going from lily to her hands. Marlene looks at Lily and can tell what she’s feeling just by her face.
“Do you think Dorcas will forgive me?” Marlene asks softly.
“Forgive you for what?” Mary asks.
“For kissing her. It’s not really a prideful thing here”
“Oh fiddlesticks. I’m sure Dorcas feels the same way:
Mary laughs , “Did you just say fiddlesticks ?”
“Mothers habit” Lily responds.
“Guys this is serious!” Marlene brings a hand to her head , she can’t even think straight from all of these thoughts.
“Alright alright” Mary starts “I don't think Dorcas is the prude type, and I bet she feels the same way too.”
Marlene brings her hand down from her face “Your just saying that”
“Nope. This whole, ‘we hate each other’ act has gone on long enough” Mary countinous.
“Exactly. C’mon marls , she’s all you talk about near a quidditch match, and whenever you speak to her you get all red.” Lily states
“I do not” Marlene defends.
“Do too!” Mary adds “you blush every time you're around her. Remember that time you two got in a debate in potions, and your face was all red.
“I just blush a lot” she shrugs.
“No you don’t you literally never blush” Mary states.
“Alright, stop it” No one talks for a moment. “I like her a lot, and I dunno what to say”
Lily smiles warmly.
“She makes me go mental” Marlene stands up. “I’m not going to apoligize. I’m going to tell her the truth”
“Yeah” Mary smiles.
“But what if she doesn’t feel the same?”
“That’s the worst that can happen” Mary says
“No its not”
“Marlene just tell her how you feel and me and Mary will be here if anything happens, okay?” Lily affirms .
“Okay, thank you both for understanding, “ Marlene says softly.
“Of course” Lily stands up and brings Marlene into a hug.
“Thank you” Marlene whispers , hugging her close friend back.
Mary joins the hug “ I love you both “
“I love you too” Marlene and Lily say.
“Alrighty, breakfast?” Lily asks.
“Yes please,” Marlene adds.
The three girls go down to the great hall.
Marlene can feel her heart thumping in her chest Just breath Marlene, breath. She sits down at the table and she finds herself looking around the room for dorcas. Her eyes can’t seem to point her out.
“Marlene!” She can her a voice shout. "Marlene” she hears again, a presence being sat next to her.
“Yes?”
It’s Sirius.
“Oh Sirius”
“You heard ‘bout the breakup , didnt you?”
“Yeah” Marlene makes a line with her lips. “You alright?”
“Yeah” sirius nods his head.
“I think we're better off as friends anyways” Sirius shrugs.
Looking away from Marlene , Sirius directs his eyes to something in front of him. Marlene follows his eyes, and he’s looking directly at Remus Lupin.
“I think I like someone else anyways” He says softly.
Marlene doesn't say anything in return. She adds some food to her plate and tries to stomach the food.
***
It’s after class and Marlenes on her way to the owerly , he can feel her anxiety bubbling up. Every step closer she gets she can feel her feet become heavier, as if theirs chains pulling her back. Marlene arrives and can hear the voice in the back of her mind telling her to just go back to the dorm. If there is one thing Marlene hates most if confrontation, and this is not exactly her ideal situation .
“Marlene!” She hears someone exclaim the moment she walks through the door.
“Jesus Christ “ Marlene brings a hand to her chest, her other hand holding her books, Dorcas now in sight, “ you trying to give me a heart attack?”
“No, sorry” Dorcas adjusts her posture.
“It’s fine” Marlene sighs, sitting down next to her.
The ground is so cold it sends shivers down Marlene’s spine.
“Cold, innit?”
Marlene nods.
“I have a jumper if you want it” dorcas suggests .
“No Im fine” The thought of Dorcas giving her a sweater, just makes her stomach twist. The two sit in silence. It never occurred to Marlene what she would say when they had met up tonight, why in the world wouldn’t she think of what to say? She has only been thinking about this all week.
“I dont know what to say” Dorcas sighs.
“Me neither, Im sorry” Marlene adds.
“No, its fine” Dorcas saying in assuring voice
“Are you sure?” Marlene .
“Yes”
“I didnt know you were-” Dorcas pauses
Marlene feels a lump in her throat.
“Neither did i” Marlene answers, finding the words hard to form.
“And you like me?” Dorcas edges closer.
“Uh” Marlene feels the collar of her hurt feel tight around her neck .
Looking into Dorcas’s eyes Marlene can hear her heart pounding in her chest.
“I like you too Marlene”
The words dont even seem real to Marlene, as if she had made them up.
“What?”
Dorcas laughs lightly. “I like you too” she repeats softly
“You do?” Marlene questions
“Yes”
“I like you too” Marlene says nervously
Dorcas smiles. Dorcas moves a hair out of Marlene's face, and Marlene can feel her face heat up. “Have you told anyone?” Marlene asks.
“Just regulus, and Pandora, is that alright?”
Marlene nods. “Have you?”
“Just Mary and Lily, is that okay?”
“Yes” Dorcas answers.