owo whats this
[Number Neighbours!!!]
[Friday 27 September 2:31 am]
mf starboy : do you ever just want to have sex with a song
[Number Neighbours!!!]
[Friday 27 September 7:16 am]
marley and me : excuse me
mf starboy : no
marley and me : …
marley and me : which song…
mf starboy : francesca by hozier
marley and me : OH FUCK YES
remy : weirdos
mf starboy : listen to it pete. you will understand
remy : oh no ive heard the song
remy : ive just never felt the urge to have intercourse with it
ronald : peter are you secretly 50 years old who tf says intercourse
cotton eye jim : nah bro said intercourse🤓
remy : SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP
remy : im not 50 mary you’ve literally met me??
ronald : still unconvinced
mf starboy : true. maybe pete is catfishing us
remy : IN PERSON?? HOW WOULD I EVEN DO THAT???
marley and me : im sure you have your ways peter
remy : every time we talk i can feel my brain becoming smoother
marley and me : and everytime we kiss i swear i could fly😍
remy : gross
marley and me : hey im hot as fuck wdym
ronald : PREACH
cotton eye jim : yeah pete are you calling marlene ugly??
merida : i cant believe you would say that peter
mf starboy : nah that’s messed up
remy : i literally hate you all sosososo much
remy : im formulating a master plan to kill/imprison you guys rn
cotton eye jim : awesome i cant wait
mf starboy : can you give me a rough estimate on when this plan will be carried out i need to know how long i have left
remy : …
remy : ill give you until halloween
cotton eye jim : sounds good!
mf starboy : writing my will as we speak
marley and me : ooo what am i getting
mf starboy : absolutely fuck all
marley and me : slut
mf starboy : bitch
cotton eye jim : are you leaving me anything?!?
mf starboy : i’ll leave you my air fryer
cotton eye jim : FUCK YES
marley and me : NOOO
marley and me : I WANTED THE AIR FRYER FUCK YOU
cotton eye jim : pete if you dont kill sirius i might have to
remy : dw i’m on it
mf starboy : HEY
cotton eye jim : you don’t understand sirius i NEED that air fryer
ronald : literally just buy your own??
merida : yeah james ive seen your flat you’re loaded
team jacob : Oh what’s this?
team jacob : I wasn’t aware you’d been to James’ flat Lillian
merida : literally not my name
merida : and shut up i was using his printer
ronald : oh so all the printers at the library were not working?
merida : LEAVE ME ALONE HIS HOUSE WAS CLOSER
marley and me : a likely story lillian
merida : THATS NOT EVEN MY NAME??!??
cotton eye jim : lily its not about money its about getting things for free
team jacob : At the cost of Sirius’ life?
mf starboy : THANK YOU REMUS
cotton eye jim : some things are worth the sacrifice
mf starboy : i cant believe youre willing to sacrifice me for an air fryer.
mf starboy : remus would never
team jacob : Not for your air fryer but maybe for your record collection
mf starboy : none of you are included in my will
mf starboy : i hate you all
cotton eye jim : see what u did remus
cotton eye jim : now no one gets the air fryer
mf starboy : I STILL OWN IT?? YOU CAN JUST USE IT AT MY HOUSE??
ronald : its not the same. sigh
mf starboy : sorry to disappoint you mary
ronald : i’ll get over it some day
cotton eye jim : i wont
remy : nor will i
marley and me : ok pete you’re definitely 50 who tf says “nor will i”🤓🤓
remy : marlene you will be the first to go
marley and me : NO I CANT DIE BEFORE JAMES AND SIRIUS THATS SO EMBARRASSING
cotton eye jim : wait why me
ronald : james you have like 0 common sense.
merida : yeah i pretty much had to hold your hand to cross the road the other day
mf starboy : owo whats this👀
team jacob : Aww how sweet
cotton eye jim : SHE SAID PRETTY MUCH
cotton eye jim : AS IN NOT ACTUALLY
cotton eye jim : WE DID NOT HOLD HANDS
cotton eye jim : OK???
mf starboy : 👀👀
cotton eye jim : shut up
[lily to remus]
[Friday 27 September 8:04 am]
lily : does he not want to hold my hand??
lily : is he saying im gross??
lily : why is he so defensive??
remus : Lily I can assure you James does not think your gross.
remus : Stop reading into it
lily : UGH I HATE HIM
remus : Sure…
remus : It definitely seems like it
lily : exactly thank you
remus : Yes you are so incredibly unbothered and nonchalant about the entire thing
lily : shut your mouth lupin i dont like this sass
[simp to simp2]
[Friday 27 September 8:06 am]
simp : well that was super casual
simp2 : really???????
simp : no
simp2 : oh
simp : you idiot why were you so defensive
simp2 : I DIDNT WANT LILY TO THINK I LIKE HER
simp : oh so you didn’t want her to think the truth???
simp2 : well when you say it like that it sounds crazy
simp : UH YA THINK?
simp2 : OK WELL DO YOU WANT ME TO HINT TO REMUS THAT YOU LIKE HIM??
simp : dont you fucking dare
simp2 : thats what i fucking thought
simp2 : bitch.
[Number Neighbours!!!]
[Friday 27 September 8:09 am]
ronald : woah lets all chillax
remy : yeah calm down we’re all friends here guys!
marley and me : peter you threatened to murder me like 5 minutes ago
remy : god stop living in the past marlene
remy : you need to move on
marley and me : you infuriate me.
remy : glad to be of service