oh so youre into older women?!
[Number Neighbours!!!]
[Wednesday 25 September 4:31 am]
cotton eye jim : terrible tudors gorgeous georgians slimy stuarts vile victorians
team jacob : Why are you awake
cotton eye jim : the horrible histories grind dont stop for anything
team jacob : Oh my fucking god
mf starboy : WOEFUL WARS FEROCIOUS FIGHTS DINGY CASTLES DARING KNIGHTS!!!
ronald : horrible histories was my shit omg
cotton eye jim : HORRORS THAY DEFY DESCRIPTION CUT THROAT CELTS AWFUL EGYPTIANS VICIOUS VIKINGS CRUEL CRIME
remy : PUNISHMENT FROM ANCIENT TIME!!!
mf starboy : PUNISHMENT DROM ANCIENT TIMEEEE
marley and me : ROMANS ROTTEN RANK AND RUTHLESS CAVEMEN SAVAGE FEARSOME TOOTHLESS GROOVY GREEKS BRAINT SAGES
remy : MEAN AND MEASLY MIDDLE AGES!!!!!!
team jacob : ..
team jacob : Gory stories we do that.
remy : AND YOUR HOST A TALKING RAT!!!!!!
marley and me : the past is no longer a mystery…
cotton eye jim : WELCOME TOOOOOOO
cotton eye jim : HORRIBEL HISTORIESSSS
remy : HORRIBLE HISTORIES!!!
merida : dont act so annoyed remus
merida : do i need to tell everyone about your first crush!??!
team jacob : Lily do not
team jacob : Pls I’m begging you
ronald : was it dick turpin
ronald : because thats so valid
team jacob : …yes it was
merida : your taste in men has stayed consistent in all fairness
team jacob : LILY SHUT UP
mf starboy : oooo whats this!!
merida : im just pointing out the facts!
merida : long black hair,, eye liner,,,
marley and me : AHHAHAHAHAHA OMG
team jacob : I’m begging you to stop
ronald : dick turpin is an absolutely valid crush
ronald : unlike some peoples.
ronald : …sirius…
mf starboy : SCAR IS A VERY NORMAL CRUSH
remy : FROM LION KING ???!???
mf starboy : prehaps
marley and me : how did i not know this information omfg
cotton eye jim : i liked nala!!
ronald : james this is not a safe space to admit to having crushes on fictional lions
merida : mary did you or did you not have a crush on the fox from zootopia
ronald : no comment.
remy : i had a crush on snow white what is wrong with all of you
mf starboy : WOAH PETER SNOW WHITE IS 14‼️‼️‼️
remy : AND I WAS 6?????
marley and me : oh so youre into older women?!
remy : i regret saying anything
team jacob : Why is everyone awake?
team jacob : It’s 4am?
cotton eye jim : as i said the horrible histories grind dont stop
team jacob : And everyone else??
ronald : im binging game of thrones
marley and me : omg love got!!
ronald : pls no spoilers im on season 3!!!
ronald : but fuck joffrey that inbred fucker deserves to die!!
cotton eye jim : well…
ronald : I SAID NO SPOILERS
mf starboy : isnt everyone in game of thrones inbred?
team jacob : Aren’t you?
mf starboy : WHAT!!!!!??!!?!
merida : LMAO WHAT
mf starboy : istg if you have been talking to regulus
team jacob : I may have been talking to Regulus…
remy : HOLD UP WHAT IS GOING ON??
mf starboy : IT WAS A JOKE MY COUSIN WAS JOKING I PROMISE!!
ronald : would explain your eyes they are freakishly blue
marley and me : fr!
marley and me : every time u look at me i get the heebiejeebies
remy : and every time we kiss i swear i can fly!!
mf starboy : im not inbred pls stop this
ronald : hmmm im not buying it
mf starboy : istg im so close to buying an ancestry test to PROVE IM NOT INBRED
mf starboy : im gonna kill regulus
[sirius to regulus]
[Wednesday 25 September 4:57 am]
sirius : REGULUS
sirius : REGULUS ARCTURUS BLACK
regulus : It’s 5am Sirius what the fuck do you want.
sirius : FOR YOU TO STOP TELLING PEOPLE OUR PARENTS ARE RELATED.
regulus : Will you fuck off if I promise I won’t tell anyone else our parents are related.
sirius : yes.
sirius : sorry go back to sleep i love you sleep tight dont murder me
regulus : Night.
sirius : oh fuck im fuckinf dead
[Number Neighbours!!!]
[Wednesday 25 September 12:42 am]
cotton eye jim : hey um sirius wya
mf starboy : huh im omw home why
cotton eye jim : yeah rough eta pls?
mf starboy : 10 min idk whats going on
cotton eye jim : i left a textbook at yours and im currently waiting outside your flat with a shorter angrier version of you.
mf starboy : FUCK TELL HIM IM DEAD
remy : what
mf starboy : ITS MY BROTHER HES MAD AT ME PLS JAMES
ronald : omg what did you do
marley and me : your telling me sirius is moments away from being murdered and im not there to witness it.
marley and me : impossible. i’ll be there in 5 james.
cotton eye jim : THANK YOU MARLENE HES SCARING ME
cotton eye jim : I THINK HE HATES ME
marley and me : oh boy im in for a treat!
ronald : what does he look like james?
ronald : is he fit😁
cotton eye jim : he looks like sirius
remy : poor boy
mf starboy : HEY!!!
cotton eye jim : hes kinda cute like in a scary sort of way
mf starboy : james im gonna puke dont say that about my brother
cotton eye jim : like cute in the way sharks are cute!
ronald : sharks????
ronald : james sharks aren’t generally known for being cute???
remy : hey sharks are cute. ever seen jaws?
marley and me : who in their right mind watches jaws and thinks awww what a cutie🥰
marley and me : pete ur sick in the head
remy : jaws is more visually pleasing than you are.
marley and me : OUCH??!??
cotton eye jim : SIRIUS MARLENE HURRY UP I TRIED TO OFFER HIM A SKITTLE AND NOW HES J STARING AT ME HELP
remy : i am just picturing james stress eating skittles while sirius’ brother just stares him down and im loosing my mind
mf starboy : omfg calm down im like 1 min away
marley and me : JAMES IM HERE!!
merida : i just turned my phone off dnd what the fuck happened.
[regulus to sirius]
[Wednesday 25 September 12:49 am]
regulus : Your friends are weird
sirius : LMAOOO
sirius : also pls dont kill me im sorry i woke u up.
regulus : I actually came to use your washing machine but thanks for reminding me.
regulus : The guy is kind of cute
sirius : JAMES??
sirius : im not sure why im shocked hes a sexy man
[Number Neighbours!!!]
[Wednesday 25 September 12:54 am]
mf starboy : james my brother thinks ur cute
marley and me : WHAT ABOUT ME???
mf starboy : he is gay?
mf starboy : and ur literally a lesbian?
marley and me : and? im still cute? whats a girl gotta do to get a compliment these days
team jacob : I can text Dorcas for you if you want
marley and me : shut ur mum wolf boy
team jacob : Hey now Hope has nothing to do with this
marley and me : yeah my bad. my apologies mrs lupin.
team jacob : Ms Howell but yeah I’ll pass on the message
remy : hold the phone
remy : you mean to tell me that your mothers surname is howell
team jacob : Yes..?
remy : as in HOWL
remy : AS IN HOWL AT THE MOON
team jacob : Fucking hell.