No strings attached (yeah, right.)

2 Broke Girls
F/F
G
No strings attached (yeah, right.)
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Chapter 1

Max was trying really hard not to look at Caroline. She didn’t want to. But it was hard when Caroline was sitting there, all radiant, flipping her hair like she was starring in her own rom-com. Max didn't care if Caroline was talking to some guy at the counter, but that didn’t mean her stomach wasn’t doing some ridiculous somersaults.

Max was in full "don't care" mode, cleaning the same spot on the counter for the third time in a row. It didn’t help that Caroline was laughing. Again.

“Caroline, you’re gonna give the guy a heart attack with that laugh,” Max muttered under her breath, pretending to be busy.

Caroline shot her a look, her lips curving into a teasing grin. “Oh, relax, Max. He’s harmless. Just enjoying the view.”

Max rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, the view. Just don’t be surprised if he starts offering you his entire life savings and a yacht to go with that smile.”

Caroline just laughed. Of course, she did. That was Caroline—always the charm machine. Max wasn't sure whether she was annoyed by it or secretly in awe.

"So," Caroline said, turning to Max with that gleam in her eye. "You, uh, got any big plans tonight or are you just gonna hang around here being all grumpy?"

Max stopped wiping down the counter. “You mean am I going to sit here watching you try to seduce every guy that walks in? Yeah, probably.”

Caroline raised her eyebrow, amused. “I’m just being nice, Max. It’s called polite conversation.”

Max stared at her. "Polite conversation? That was literally a 15-minute monologue on how great his hair was."

Caroline shrugged like it was no big deal. "He had great hair, Max. It's a valid point."

“Yeah, well, if I wanted to talk about hair, I’d’ve gone to a salon.” Max picked up a glass and started drying it just a little too aggressively.

The door opened, and Han walked in, his usual calm demeanor at odds with the chaos that seemed to follow the girls around. He glanced at Max and Caroline, then back at the small army of trays piled high with cupcakes and baked goods.

“Are you two seriously still doing this?” Han asked, crossing his arms. “She’s been talking to that guy for 20 minutes.”

Caroline grinned. “Oh, I wasn’t talking to him, Han. I was teaching him the fine art of complimenting a woman properly.”

Max snorted, “Or you were trying to get him to give you his credit card number. How’s that working out for you?”

Caroline just waved her off. “Oh, Max, always so cynical.”

Max rolled her eyes again, pushing a cupcake to the side as if it could somehow take her frustration away. "Yeah, well, I’m not the one with a thousand guys lined up at the door."

"Technically," Caroline countered, "I only have two guys lined up and the guy at the counter is the third. The third is still a maybe.”

Max stared at her. "That’s... disturbing."

“You’re jealous,” Caroline said, smiling as she leaned on the counter. "And that’s adorable." She smirked. Max fucking hated how caroline could make max feel those little butterlfies in her chest in which she was sure she killed years ago.

Caroline walked over to the booth where the tall brunette asshole was sitting in and started giggling at every.single.thing.he.said. Why was she even inlove with blondie? Wait.. inlove? Maybe not. She doesn't know.

Max froze. She wasn’t sure what that meant, but the last thing she needed was for Caroline to start picking apart her emotions. So she shook her head and went over to the kitchen window to take her orders.

Oleg's head popped up, grinning ear to ear as he rung the bell. "Table 6! Pick up! Alright, what’s this I hear about jealousy?”

Max’s face twisted, and she sighed, muttering under her breath, “This is my life. Surrounded by insane people who have no idea what personal space is.”

The day went smoothly. Except for maybe the occasional death glares max shot at the fancy guy. She's sure he was now scared of her. Good for you max. She thought to herself.

she wasn’t in the mood for Caroline, who was still sitting in that damn booth, laughing at every single thing that tall, perfectly-groomed, probably-too-rich-for-his-own-good guy was saying.

Max wasn’t sure if the guy was even funny. Judging by the way Caroline was practically doubling over with laughter, he had to be the greatest comedian of the century, but Max had her doubts.

She slammed a plate of fries onto a table so hard that the guy eating them flinched.

“Jesus, Max,” he muttered.

“Sorry,” Max grumbled. Not sorry.

Han eyed her warily from behind the counter. “Max, you’ve been unusually aggressive tonight. Should I be worried?”

“No, Han,” Max deadpanned. “I just really love my job and am overflowing with joy.”

Han narrowed his eyes. “Sarcasm?”

“Wow, look at you,” Max said, giving him an exaggerated thumbs-up. “Finally catching on. I’m so proud.”

She turned back toward the counter, only to see Caroline still flipping her hair, still giggling, and still looking at the guy like he was the last piece of cake on Earth.

Max could not handle this.

She grabbed a tray and walked over to the booth, standing over them with the energy of a mother who just caught her teenager sneaking out past curfew.

“Caroline,” Max said, voice sweet but not really. “Should I take your order, or are you too busy planning your wedding?”

Caroline looked up at her, beaming, completely ignoring the obvious edge in Max’s tone.

“Oh my God, Max, you’ll never believe what Daniel just told me.”

Max blinked. Daniel? Oh, great. The guy has a name now.

Daniel flashed Max a grin, and she immediately wanted to punch it off his face.

“Yeah, Max,” he said smoothly. “You want to hear?”

“No,” Max said flatly.

Caroline ignored her. “He said he’s an artist! A real artist! Like, with an actual studio and everything! He paints, Max! He even has pieces in galleries!”

Max folded her arms. “Cool. He paints. So what you’re saying is, he’s the enemy.”

Daniel chuckled, and Max hated how Caroline practically melted at the sound.

“Not the enemy,” he said, flashing another one of those toothpaste-commercial smiles. “Just a guy who appreciates beauty.”

Caroline sighed dreamily, and Max felt her soul leave her body.

“Oh, Max,” Caroline gushed, grabbing her arm. “He understands the art of expression. Isn’t that just so attractive?”

Max stared at her. “Caroline, do you hear yourself?”

Caroline blinked. “What?”

“You’re swooning over a guy because he puts paint on a canvas.”

Daniel laughed like Max had just told the funniest joke in the world.

“Well,” he said, smirking, “it takes more than just paint. You need vision. Creativity. Passion.”

Max wanted to physically remove herself from this conversation.

Caroline sighed again, her eyes practically twinkling. “Exactly! Max, you just don’t get it.”

“Oh no, I do get it,” Max said, narrowing her eyes at Daniel. “You’re an artist. Congrats. What do you want? A medal?”

Caroline gave her a scandalized look. “Max! Be nice!”

Max rolled her eyes. “Oh, I am nice. Just ask anyone here. People love me.”

Behind her, a customer muttered, “She threw my coffee at me last week.”

“Shut up, Jeff,” Max snapped without turning around.

Daniel chuckled again. “I like your energy, Max. You remind me of my sister.”

Max scowled. “Cool. You remind me of a guy who should pay and leave.”

Caroline smacked her arm. “Max!”

“What?” Max huffed. “I’m just saying, shouldn’t he be off painting or seducing other unsuspecting blondes?”

Caroline rolled her eyes and looked at Daniel apologetically. “Ignore her. She gets like this.”

Daniel just smiled, all charming and tolerant, which made Max want to hate him even more.

“No worries,” he said, standing up. “I should actually get going.” He pulled a business card from his pocket and handed it to Caroline. “Call me. Maybe I can show you my studio sometime.”

Caroline practically beamed, taking the card like it was the most valuable piece of paper on Earth.

“I’d love that!”

Daniel gave her one last dazzling smile before heading for the door.

Max watched him go, arms still crossed.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Caroline let out a dramatic sigh, holding the business card to her chest.

“Oh my God, Max,” she breathed. “I think I’m in love.”

Max stared at her, deadpan. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Caroline smacked her arm. “Max! I’m serious! He’s so charming! And handsome! And he understands art! I mean, what are the odds?”

Max scoffed. “What are the odds? Caroline, you basically throw yourself at any guy in a suit. If it weren’t him, it’d be the next guy who walked in with a paintbrush and a decent haircut.”

Caroline gasped, clutching her chest like she’d been personally attacked. “That is not true!”

Max raised an eyebrow.

Caroline hesitated. “Okay, maybe a little true. But this is different. I feel something, Max.”

Max groaned and rubbed her temples. “God, Caroline, you feel something every time a guy says hello to you.”

Caroline ignored her. “I mean, can’t you just be happy for me?”

Max hesitated.

Happy for her? Of course she wanted Caroline to be happy. But something about this guy—Daniel, or David, or whatever his name was—made Max’s stomach turn in a way she didn’t like.

She shrugged, playing it off. “Whatever. Just don’t come crying to me when you find out he’s actually a robot sent from the future to steal all your money. We need those 6 dollars for ramen tomorrow!”

"Oh, Max. Always so... creative!"

Max smirked. “And yet, you love me for it.”

Caroline grinned. “Of course I do.”

And for some reason, that made Max’s heart stutter in a way that had nothing to do with Caroline’s stupid artist guy.

She shook it off.

“Anyway,” she said, grabbing a cupcake off the counter, “if you’re done swooning, we’ve got a diner to run.”

Caroline nodded, still way too happy as she tucked the business card into her pocket.

And Max told herself she didn’t care.

Even if she totally, absolutely, one hundred percent did.

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