believing (until the end)

When he returned to St. Mungo's and entered Ginny's room, he saw his wife sitting slightly upright in bed next to her best friend, while Luna held Albus in her arms.

"Hey, love," Ginny greeted him with a smile.

"Hey," he replied, leaning in to give her a kiss on the lips. He almost asked how she was feeling but quickly thought better of it. He knew Ginny was tired of being asked that so many times a day. To be honest, it would annoy him too. So instead, he asked, "How long have you been awake?"

"About an hour. Healer Wilson was already here and asked if I was ready to try getting up again in two hours."

Harry looked at her cautiously. "And what did you say?" he asked uncertainly.

"I said yes." She snorted. "I'm really getting to the point where I just want to be able to get up and take a shower."

He smiled, amused, and then looked at his son and Luna.

"He's really cute," said the blonde. "And he looks just like you, Harry."

"He’s heard that several times already today," Ginny chimed in with a grin, reaching for Harry’s hand. "And I think our poor Al will be hearing it for a long time as he grows up."

~

Ginny could have cried when she was finally able to shower the next morning. In fact, she did. After several attempts the previous evening and again that morning, and still in a lot of pain, she managed to stand up and, with Harry's help, take a shower. He stood half in the large shower with her. If the water soaking his clothes bothered him, he didn't show it.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked softly when he noticed her tears.

She nodded vigorously. "Yes. Even more than okay. I'm just so happy to be able to shower again and that I managed to stand up."

They fell into a comfortable silence as Ginny let the water run over her, and Harry held her around the waist to prevent her from collapsing. When she was done, Harry handed her a towel, which she wrapped around herself, and helped her out of the shower. He grabbed his wand and used it to dry both himself and his clothes.

As Ginny stood in front of the mirror, she let the towel drop and took a moment to look at herself. Her hair hung wet over her shoulders, her face was still pale, which made her freckles stand out, and dark circles showed under her brown eyes. Her gaze drifted down to her body. Her breasts were even bigger than they had been during her pregnancy, which she remembered from when James was born. Her belly was larger than it had been two days after James' birth, making her still look a bit pregnant. Another difference from after James’ birth was the scar now marking her lower abdomen. The stitches hadn’t been removed yet, and the scar itself was red, surrounded by small bruises.

Her eyes moved upward again when she felt arms wrap around her shoulders. In the mirror, her gaze met Harry's.

"You’re beautiful, you know that, right?" he said softly, looking at her intently.

Ginny bit her lip and slowly nodded.

"Does your scar hurt?" Harry asked cautiously.

"A little," she admitted. Before she had showered, the large bandage covering the scar had been removed, and a spell had been cast to keep it from getting wet. "I didn’t expect it to be so big."

"The healer said it would get smaller and less noticeable," Harry said after he applied a fresh bandage to the scar and handed her her underwear. Ginny put it on and turned to look up at him.

"I don't feel like myself, more like I'm living in someone else’s body." Tears ran down her cheeks again. "I want my body back. And I don’t want to cry over this anymore. I know I have to be patient, but it’s hard."

"Oh, Gin," Harry replied, looking at her sadly. He fought back tears himself. Seeing his wife so upset was one of the hardest things for him. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs, unsure of what to say. "I know how hard this is for you. And if there’s anything at all I can do, just tell me, and I’ll do it."

Ginny sniffed. "Why can’t I just be happy that we have a sweet little baby? I’ve heard that a lot of women feel terrible after giving birth, but I didn’t feel that way with James. I was just so happy he was there. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be happier that Al is finally with us, and I love him so much. But I feel so drained, like I’ll never get better, like I’ll never get my energy back."

Harry handed her a tank top and a pair of sweatpants. "All in time, Gin. I know patience isn’t your strong suit, but you need it."

That comment brought a small smile to Ginny’s face. Harry loved seeing her smile and would do anything to make her smile.

He helped her get dressed and gently led her out of the bathroom and back to her bed. They took it slow, there was no rush.

Once Ginny was comfortably settled in bed again, Harry handed her Al, who had woken up but wasn’t crying. Ginny bent her legs and placed him on her lap. Harry lay beside her in bed and gently tapped his son’s nose with his finger.

"He’s beautiful," Ginny said, smiling at Harry. "And such a quiet baby. So different from James."

Harry chuckled softly. "Don’t say that too loudly."

Slowly, Al drifted back to sleep under the watchful eyes of his parents.

"You know, when I was pregnant with James, I used to wonder how I was going to survive six weeks without sex after the birth." Ginny said, turning her head toward her husband.

Harry laughed again. "Believe me, I wondered the same thing. The answer was sleep deprivation. I still don’t know how we managed to have sex regularly exactly six weeks after he was born."

"Now we have two kids who need our attention," Ginny replied, amused. Then she hesitantly added, "I’m not sure how long we’ll have to wait this time, because of my surgery."

Her husband wrapped an arm around her. "The most important thing is that you fully recover. As amazing as sex with you is, I don’t love you just for that. If needed, I’ll take care of my needs the way I used to before we were together."

This time, Ginny laughed out loud.

~

Throughout Ginny’s pregnancy with Al, George had continued making videos of her to give to his nephews later. He also hadn’t stopped filming James whenever he saw him. George claimed that the two would appreciate having videos from their childhood, not just pictures.

"Good morning, Al! Today Aunt Angie and I are visiting your mummy, daddy, and you in the hospital. You were born a few days ago, but your mummy hasn’t been feeling well, so I’m only now here to annoy her," George said as he and his wife stood outside Ginny’s room, about to enter. He pointed the camera at the door while Angelina knocked and then quietly opened it.

Ginny came into view, sitting up in bed and eating a sandwich that looked a lot like one of Molly Weasley’s creations. Harry was sitting at the foot of the bed with a sandwich in one hand and Al in his other arm.

"You still look terrible, Gin-Gin!" George remarked, shamelessly filming her.

His sister glared at him but them smiled slightly. "Thanks for the lovely compliment, Georgie!" she said, taking another bite of her sandwich. "You’re lucky I finally got to shower today, so I don’t stink."

"You managed to shower?" Angelina asked excitedly, now holding Al after Harry had handed him over.

Ginny smiled proudly. "Yeah, I could stand up, go to the bathroom, and take a shower. It wasn’t long, and I needed Harry’s help, but it’s progress!"

George stood beside Angelina and focused the camera on the baby. "You’re so cute, Al. I hope you stay that way when you’re older. But if you end up looking like your dad, I don’t have much hope for you."

"Shut up, George!" Harry laughed, and the camera turned to him.

"So, how does it feel to be a father again?" his brother-in-law asked him.

A broad grin spread across Harry’s face. "It’s wonderful. Sure, things didn’t go well after the birth, but it’s still special to hold such a tiny person in your arms who stole your heart long before you even met them."

At that moment, Al let out a small whimper that quickly turned into a cry.

"Looks like someone’s hungry," Ginny said calmly, holding out her arms for Al while Harry helped adjust her clothes so she could nurse him.

"I think I’ll end the video here; don’t want you to get embarrassed later, Al." The last thing seen in the video was George’s grinning face.

~

"How’s my favorite Harpy?"

"Hey, Lizzie," Ginny greeted one of her best friends with a smile. Then she looked at Lizzie’s girlfriend. "Hey, Ramona."

"Hi, Ginny, hi, Harry," Ramona replied with a smile.

Lizzie approached Ginny’s bed. "And who do we have here?"

"This is Al," Ginny answered, turning her son in her arms so Lizzie could see him. "Do you want to hold your godson?"

Lizzie beamed. "Of course—wait, what?"

“Ginny asked you if you want to hold your godson?” Harry repeated, grinning.

“M-my godson?” she asked quietly.

Ginny nodded. “Only if you want to, of course.”

“Merlin's pink underwear! Of course I want to. I want to be his godmother and hold him!”

Slowly, Ginny handed the baby to Lizzie and watched as she inspected her son.

“He’s wonderful,” Ramona said, peering over her friend’s shoulder. “Maybe I want one after all.”

“If you're the one carrying it,” Lizzie laughed. “I’m not interested in all the pain.”

“I can imagine,” Ginny said.

“It won’t be easy for you either, seeing Ramona like that, Lizzie,” Harry chimed in. “If you’ll excuse me now, I’m going to pick up James.” With that, he left through the door, giving Ginny a quick kiss on the lips as he went.

“He specifically waited until you got here because he wanted to see your reaction,” Ginny explained, slowly sitting up in her bed. “Thank you both for visiting, I’m dying of boredom!”

“Ginny, of course we’d visit,” Lizzie replied immediately. “Believe me, you won’t get rid of me now.” She paused briefly before cautiously adding, “We really miss you on the team!”

Ginny smiled sadly. “I miss you all too. Have you started training yet?”

Her friend nodded. “Yeah, we have. But just light training so far since there’s no Quidditch season this year due to the World Cup, and it’s still about eight months until the next season. I hope you’ll be back by then.”

“I hope so too, or I’ll go crazy!”

~

James was always excited when he got to see his mummy. Even though he loved being at his grandparents' house, where Grandma and Grandpa let him do things Mummy and Daddy didn’t allow, he missed his mum. Plus, all the attention at Grandma and Grandpa’s was on him—as long as his cousins weren’t around. Since Mummy and Daddy worked, they spent a lot of time with him, but not all day. And he didn’t have to go to the Ministry’s daycare; instead, he could sleep in and have breakfast with Grandma, which was a nice bonus.

But still, he missed his mummy.

That’s why he cherished every minute he spent cuddling up next to her, even if he had to go back to his grandparents afterward. Not even the many healers who came into the room to check on his mummy or his little brother could bother him.

Today, his mum was unusually quiet again. Normally, she laughed at things he did or things his dad said. When she wasn’t laughing, she always had that warm, friendly smile that made him feel safe and at home. But in the past few days, since his little brother was born, she smiled less, hardly laughed at all, and clung to James as if she feared he would disappear.

“Okay, Mummy?” he asked, looking up at her.

She glanced down at him, and finally, he saw a small smile. “Yes, Jamie, Mummy’s okay. I just hurt a lot. That’s why Mummy has to stay here and can’t come home with you, Daddy, and Al yet.”

James looked at his mum with his big brown eyes and slowly nodded. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, sweetheart.”

~

“I hope James isn’t noticing too much of all this,” Ginny voiced her concerns later in the day after Harry had brought their son back to Molly and Arthur’s. This time George would pick him up and take him to stay overnight with Angelina, Freddie, and himself.

Harry looked at her questioningly.

“He asked me earlier, ‘Okay, Mummy?’” she explained, a worried look on her face.

But he didn’t get the chance to respond because the door opened, and Healer Wilson entered, as she did every evening, for the daily check-up.

“Your scar is healing well, Ginny, and your strength is gradually returning. I’m still a bit concerned about your intense pain, and there’s something else,” the healer said, sitting down on the chair beside Ginny’s bed and giving her a serious look. “I’m worried that you’re struggling to process this birth, or rather, what happened after it. You told me you feel tired and often have the urge to cry, even though you want to be happy that Albus is healthy. This could lead to postnatal depression.”

Harry felt the color drain from his face. This was the last thing Ginny needed right now.

"Many women get postnatal depression after giving birth and they eventually go away, so you don’t need to worry about that. However, I would recommend that you speak with a specialist healer to prevent it from worsening. In your case, there's the additional factor that you fought in a war. Even if you think you've already processed everything, events like this can bring things back up," Wilson continued. "It’s just a suggestion, but one I strongly recommend. Otherwise, we’ll stick to the plan for you to leave the hospital in three days, regardless of your mental state."

Ginny looked down at her lap, running a hand through her long hair. Then she turned to Healer Wilson and slowly nodded. "Okay. And would it be possible to do it here?"

"Exactly. I’ve already found a healer who specializes in this. Just say the word, and you can start right away."

She glanced to her right at her husband. Harry and she looked at each other for a while, silently communicating. It was clear to both of them that Ginny would do whatever it took to be home with her three boys as soon as possible and to be the mom that James and Albus deserved.

After the war, she had never addressed anything like this; neither had Harry. They had tried to process everything together, as they had trouble trusting a stranger. It had taken them a lot of time, but eventually, they managed to get through it together. This time, they would get through it again.

Ginny turned back to Healer Wilson. "Okay, I’ll do it."