Birthday dinners and Soxs
Euphemia and Remus were chatting away in the kitchen when Sirius popped his head over the banister, James nodded to them that it was safe to come down.
Sirius wiped his sweaty palms on James’ jumper, which was met with a friendly punch, “What?!? I’m so nervous I can’t stop sweating, that doesn't mean I’m going to ruin my outfit, not when I had a perfectly good towel in front of me.”
James pretended to swing at Sirius muttering something along the lines of, “Cheeky brat.”
This resulted in a tussle between them, really meaning they tried to mess each other hair up, their prized possessions.
As Sirius dodged James counterattack they tripped backwards……. and fell right into an unexpecting Remus Lupin.
Thankfully Remus grabbed Sirius before he could whack his head against the floor.
Sirius jumped up and immediately started apologising……. profusely.
“Holy shit Remus Im so sorry, I didn’t realize you were there, oh fuck are you hurt, God I am so sorry!”
Remus burst out laughing, “It's fine Sirius, I'm not going to break, but the look on your face!!”
Remus was now laughing so hard he couldn’t even finish his sentence.
Sirius huffed playfully and shoved Remus a little bit, “Just to prove I don’t think you’re precious.”
Remus replied sarcastically, “Oh you really are too generous, you know that?”
They continued this playful banter into the living room, completely leaving James behind. He picked up the dog again and talked to it as he went to help his mum in the kitchen.
“Those two are so hopeless, the second they stare into each others eyes nothing and no one else exists.”
Archie just licked James' face in response. “Yeah, you never were the best conversationalist.”
The rest of the evening went off without a hitch, Regulus arrived soon after Remus, and then Peter a short while later, the house was filled with good food and good conversation.
Sirius, Peter and James reminisced about old pranks they performed in Hogwarts, and Regulus gave the real account of what happened, being the spectators to these pranks.
Euphemia and Fleamont were so welcoming and kind, Remus was overjoyed to be in their company.
During the evening Sirius mentioned that Remus struggled to grow plants, at this Effie, (accompanied by James’ interjections), began talking all about her plants.
When they had finished their dinner Effie brought Remus into their conservatory to show him her plants, and needless to say Remus was blown away.
Not only were there herbs and flowers, but there was a large orange tree that was growing inside, reaching up to the roof.
“Oh yes dear, we extended the house years ago, this tree was already in the garden, but we didn’t want to cut it down and decided instead to just build around it, and incorporate it.”
They talked in the conservatory for about fifteen minutes before Effie asked Remus a question that had been playing on her mind.
“I have got to ask my dear, what are your intentions with my son?”
Remus was flabbergasted.
What were his intentions? Preferably confess his love to Sirius and then kiss them until neither of them could remember their names, but he knew that was NEVER going to happen.
So instead he responded, “I’m not sure what you mean?”
Effie gave Remus a searching look, she knew what these two boys felt. Anyone in a ten mile radius could tell how they felt.
But neither of them seemed ready to truly accept their feelings, that would take time.
She may be an overprotective mother, but she had sworn to never be pushy or meddling.
So instead she smiled and said, “I have just heard you rather enjoy the sight of James in lycra!”
Remus spluttered before shouting out to Sirius in the next room, “Sirius fucking Black, have you been telling people I love James in lycra?!?”
All that should be heard from the next room we’re the giggles of Sirius, James, Peter and Regulus.
Remus excused himself from his conversation with Effie to go and whack Sirius, gently of course, around the head with a throw pillow.
However, soon had to leave Peter left, then Regulus. Effie and Fleamont retired to their room to watch the newest episode of Grey's Anatomy. (Just when Remus thought he couldn’t love them anymore, he did.)
And James started cleaning the dinner dishes. Remus has tried to help but James had locked the kitchen door.
“You’re a guest, you’re not allowed to help with the dishes!!”
Remus finally gave up and went to sit in the living room with Sirius. Remus fidgeted for a moment before handing Sirius the present bag he had grabbed from the hall.
“I know it’s not much,” Remus said, “But to be fair you didn’t leave me an awful lot of time!”
Remus smiled sheepishly as he handed Sirius their present.
Sirius inclined his head, and handled the bag with such a delicacy it took Remus’ breath away, all they were doing was unwrapping a gift Remus had given them, so why did Remus feel the overwhelming urge to kiss him.
But then most of the time these days he felt an overwhelming urge to kiss Sirius Black. God how unrequited crushes sucked.
Sirius hadn’t actually thought about the consequences of Remus getting him a present……. meaning Remus had thought about them, talked to other people about them, bought something FOR them.
These thoughts left Sirius feeling a mixture of like he had just gone down the biggest drop on a rollercoaster he didn’t even know he was on, but also warm and fuzzy inside, and warm and fuzzy wasn’t something they often felt.
Remus had gotten Sirius a bracelet, with thin strips of leather woven toegther, and in the centre was a fine and intricate scorpio design, completed with a small citrine gemstone at the centre. (Sirius’ birthstone)
“Remus this is incredible,” they breathed so quietly Remus almost didn’t hear it.
He blushed profusely before responding, “Well it’s only something small seeing as no long lost uncle has left me his fortune.”
At this Sirius looked up and gave Remus a wicked grin, “Sucks to be you I guess, but me and my dead long lost uncle, we’re swimming in money.”
At this the pair burst into laughter, and spent the remainder of their evening joking and flirting. (But of course it doesn’t count as flirting because Remus could never like Sirius!?! And Sirius could never EVER like Remus!!)
Eventually, however, Remus had to go home. Sirius stood at the door, in fluffy socks and a hoody, which he had accumulated during the game of hide and seek James had decided to play earlier.
Sirius had hid in the closet, how reminiscent of the first 16 years of his life.
Before he left Remus turned to Sirius at the front door, “I really do hope you had a wonderful birthday Sirius, you deserve it and so much more.”
Remus gave Sirius a swift kiss on the cheek as a sign of departure (or pining), and Sirius closed the door behind him in a daze.
They lay in bed for hours, the spot where Remus’ lips had met their skin still tingling…… Sirius Black couldn’t help but think just how much he was bloody falling for Remus Lupin.
(4th Nov, friday 3am)
(we love taylor)
Padfoot: I have a question for you
Padfoot: How do tall people sleep actually sleep at night ???
Padfoot: I mean duvets aren’t that big, it definitely doesn’t cover allllllll the way from your toes to your shoulders
Padfoot: so what do you do, just have cold toes and can’t sleep ?!?
Moony: it is 3 in the fucking morning ?!?!?
Padfoot: can’t sleep huh?
Padfoot: is it because of the duvet ??
Moony: I-
Moony: i’m going back to sleep
Padfoot: Moonyyyyyy don’t leave meeeeee
Moony: I will talk to you at a reasonable hour
Padfoot: I knew you didn’t love me anyway :’(
Moony: yep goodnight
Padfoot: ugghhghhhhh
Padfoot: goodnight
(13:22)
Moony: can cats have cornflakes?
Padfoot: I am baffled
Moony: I googled it, it’s fine
Padfoot: i’m glad…… why do u ask?
Moony: ……………
Moony: no comment
Padfoot: Remus please tell me you didn’t
Moony: :)
*incoming call from Padfoot*
“Hello?”
*hushed whisper*
“Tell me you did not steal a cat.”
“Fine, I did not steal a cat.”
“Remus!!”
“Is it stealing if it’s a stray?”
“How do you know it doesn’t belong to someone?”
“It doesn’t have a collar….”
“Lots of cats don’t have collars Remus!!!”
“But he was outside my english class, just crying and hungry, I couldn’t just leave it!!”
“What if it had an owner??”
“……..”
“Well he has already come home with me, I’m attached, if you make me give him back I will be sad forever.”
“You brought him home already??”
“What can I say, Soxs really likes cornflakes.”
“Socks?”
“Soxs, like with an ‘x’. I’m not sure why but it seems like he would spell it with an ‘x’.”
“Why ‘Soxs’ though?”
“Oh because he has white fur on his back paws that look like socks.”
*laughing*
“You are quite incredible, do you know that?”
*distant meowing*
“No Soxs don’t do that!!!”
*silence*
“Remus?”
“Are you there?”
“Yep sorry, turns out Soxs likes climbing curtains.”
“You were saying something?”
“Oh nothing, I was just wishing you luck with your crazy cat.”
“Our crazy cat.”
“Excuse me?”
“We have joint custody, I'm not ready to be a single father to two children, I need help!!!”
“You can do this Moonpie, I believe in you!!”
“Have I ever mentioned my annoyance at your constant nicknames?”
*grinning*
“Why of course, that’s what makes them so fun.”
*rolls eyes*
“Don’t roll your eyes at me young man?!?”
“How did you know??!!!!”
“I see all young moonling.”
“Ok, you are only like four months older than me!?”
“Four months is everything!!”
“It’s nothing!!!”
“Four months ago I didn’t know you, now I do and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, so I think four months can mean a lot in life.”
*small intake of breath*
“…………”
“You and your words.”
“I didn’t get an A* in English for nothing Moonbeam.”
*loud meowing*
*hissing*
“Minnie has just attacked baby soxs, she has only child syndrome, this may very well take a while.”
“Good luck on single fatherhood!!”
“You’re leaving again?!”
“And I’m not taking the kids!!”
“Sirius noooo, how could you do this to me?!”
*giggling*
“Good luck Remus.”
“Thank you Sirius.”
call ended (20mins 37sec)
(18:35)
Moony: update on sox’s and minnie, they are now mother and child and love eachither more than me :(
Padfoot: aw moony :(
Padfoot: I’ll love you!!!
Moony: yk you’re supposed to be making me feel better not worse?
Padfoot: ha ha ha -_-
Moony: I’m joking, anyone would be lucky to be loved by you
(10 mins later)
Moony: Sirius?
Padfoot: mhmm
Moony: are you ok?
Padfoot: yeah that’s just……. really lovely
Moony: well I meant it
Moony: whatever guy you end up dating will be very lucky
Padfoot: oh
Padfoot: yeah
Padfoot: sorry I will talk to you later Moonshine, James is calling
Moony: bye :)
Sirius sighed and clicked their phone off. That had to have been one of the worst rejections he had ever experienced.
He knew Remus probably wasn’t into him, the confirmation still sucked.
They padded into the kitchen and grabbed a tub of ice cream and a spoon, and went to sit in James’ room while he studied.
Remus knew one sided crushes were never fun, but giving his crush relationship advice about someone else, it really was horrible.
Remus had never felt like he fit in in school, once he discovered that he was bisexual he thought maybe that was it, but still there has been something nagging in the back of his mind, making him feel…. different.
He had always toyed with the thought of asexuality, however he did want a relationship. To love and to be loved. And yet still something felt out of place.
But in true Remus fashion he researched, and thought about his research, and then researched some more.
He didn’t owe anyone an explanation but himself, he wanted to know these things for him and him only, and a while ago he had come to a decision.
Asexuality isn’t one clear way to feel, it’s a spectrum, he wasn’t sure if there was a label for what he felt but he knew it was there.
He wanted a relationship, to love someone, and he also would one day want to be intimate with them. But not until he gained their trust, even to be in a relationship with them in the first place would take time.
It may have seemed like it was just a ‘part of his anxiety’ thing, but deep down Remus knew this is how he felt.
He was bisexual and within the asexual spectrum, and for once in his life he felt in place, it made sense, years of thinking and questioning and it finally made sense.
And falling for Sirius, well that only confirmed it.
But Sirius not falling for him, well that part felt like shit.
(Sunday 6th, 13:27 )
(we love taylor)
Padfoot: Remmmussssssssss
Moony: u bellowed?
Padfoot: James is at lacross practice, or rowing, or rugby, I honestly don’t remember
Padfoot: and I CANNOT concentrate on my work
Moony: is there anything I can do to help??
Padfoot: I dunno, I don’t think so
Padfoot: I go through phases of having lots of motivation and then having NONE
Padfoot: and when I have none I can ONLY get work done when someone is sitting in the room with me
Padfoot: and everyone is busy
Padfoot: but I really need to get this project done :/
Moony: come over to my flat
Padfoot: what ??
Moony: I’ll sit with you, I’m just reading now anyways I don’t mind if there is someone else in the room
Padfoot: seriously?
Moony: I thought you were always Sirius ?
Padfoot: eijejejhejnrrrnrnnrr
Padfoot: Moony you’re pretty fucking INCREDIBLE
Padfoot: are you sure you don’t mind ????
Moony: of course not Sirius
Moony: you don’t have to, of course !!!
Moony: only if you want to
Padfoot: no that would be incredible
Padfoot: thank you so much Remus x
Moony: no problem :))
Padfoot: I’ll leave soon, so I should be there in about 20 minutes
Moony: ok, see you then :)
Remus put down his phone and smiled softly, somewhat resembling a love sick puppy. Then he bolted up.
“Holy shit Sirius is going to be in my flat in twenty minutes.”
Remus spent the next twenty minutes racing around, stress cleaning and trying to make his flat look somewhat respectable.
He was just finishing stacking away the last of the dishes when there was a knock at the door. He let out a deep breath and made his way over to the door.
He opened the door to see a drenched Sirius with a laptop bag in one hand and a huge art folder in the other. Sirius smiled and wiped the wet hair that was dripping into their eyes out of the way.
“I came straight here and I didn’t bring a jacket because it was sunny,” he exclaimed walking into the kitchen and placing his stuff on the island.
“And then british weather decided let’s fuck with Sirius just for fun, like today wasn’t sucking already, so it rained torrentially for ten minutes, but guess what it’s sunny again already !!” He said all this while pacing back and forth.
They took a breath and were about to continue when Remus interrupted, “Sirius, you're here now and it’s all ok.” He gave Sirius such a caring look it was hard for them not to grin like a maniac. Remus turned to the work surface, doing something by the kitchen sink. He continued “I have a million jumpers and sweatpants you can borrow,”
He turned around and handed Sirius a cup of coffee, “And we have an unlimited supply of coffee and blankets so you are going to be fine, and I will help you get this project done.”
Sirius was so overwhelmed by Remus’ kindness, and how well he knew him that he didn’t know what to say, what he landed on was,
“Why do you have coffee? You don’t like coffee.”
Remus just chuckled softly, “Well since the last time you were here you spent most of the time complaining that I didn’t have coffee, I got some.”
Sirius held a hand to their chest dramatically, “I did not complain the WHOLE time!” Remus narrowed his eyes, but then smiled, and went to go get Sirius some dry clothes.
Sirius picked up his mug and held it to his chest, they sighed deeply and groaned quietly, why did Remus have to be so fucking perfect, how was he NOT supposed to be basically in love with him.
Sirius corrected himself, not love, just a crush.
Not love.
Probably….
His spiral of thoughts were interrupted by Soxs coming into the kitchen from Remus’ room, he slowly made his way over to Sirius, slightly wary of this new person in his home.
Sirius grinned and got down on the ground, coaxing Soxs over, “Hello handsome, how are you enjoying your new home?” Sox’s responded with a satisfied purr as Sirius scratched behind his ears.
Just then Remus came back into the kitchen with the dry clothes. “One Moony sweater and a pair of sweatpants for you,” he said, handing them to Sirius.
He burst out laughing when he realized Soxs had attached themselves to Sirius, cradled in his arms like a baby.
Sirius grinned, “I think I might have to take him home.” Remus gasped playfully, “Take my child!!? Sirius, how could you?”
Sirius replied with a playful laugh and handed Soxs to Remus while they went to get changed.
It was now Remus’ turn to internally freak out, his best friend, who he just happened to really fucking like, was about to re enter the room, wearing REMUS’ clothes.
Sometimes being a good friend can suck.
Sirius came back into the kitchen, and Remus tried his best not to panic. ‘How was it possible that Padfoot made sweatpants and a jumper three sizes too big look amazing?!?’.
Remus just smiled weakly, afraid if he opened his mouth something embarrassing would happen, and went to hang up Sirius’ clothes to dry.
While he hung up the clothes Sirius took out their computer and opened the terrifying tab that contained THE project, however not before making sure Soxs was comfortably curled up in his lap.
THE project was on colour relation and art history, he was only in the middle of writing the paper, they hadn’t even started the actual art yet.
Sirius had started writing when Remus came back into the room, so he quietly made his way to the window seat and opened up the book he was reading.
He had been reading for about fifteen minutes when Sirius groaned loudly and put his forehead on the table.
Remus looked over concerned, “You ok?”
Sirius grimaced, “Well I’m supposed to be writing a paper on the history of ancient greek art and art styles but there are so many things to do after this and I can’t concentrate!”
Remus made his way over to the island and took the seat beside Sirius, he turned Sirius' chair towards him and placed both hands either side of their shoulders. “Ok, look at me and just…. breathe.”
Sirius nodded but had a perplexed look on their face. Once they had taken deep breaths together for thirty seconds and Sirius had calmed down a bit Remus retracted his hands.
“Now, tell me about your assignment, what do you have to do?”
Sirius had a grateful look on his face as he opened up the assignment tab on his computer. The prompt read; ‘Colour relation and art history: Write an essay (2000 words minimum) on art and art styles during the assigned time period. Use your chosen colour palette for this piece to portray the emotions you associate with this colour. Your piece must be created in the art style that you have studied, incorporated with your own style to create a blend of old and new.’
“So my assigned time period is ancient Greece, which is fine, I can write essays, but I’m so distracted because I have no idea what I’m going to paint, I haven’t even picked a colour scheme and I have no idea what to do!” Sirius said quickly.
Remus nodded, “Well we’re going to take this one thing at a time,” Sirius gave him a sceptical look. “I know, I know, easier said than done but if you focus on the essay first and get it done, then you can concentrate on the piece.”
Sirius nodded and smiled. Soon Remus went back to the window seat where he was reading his book. Every once in a while they glanced over to Remus.
About an hour later Minnie decided to jump on Remus’ lap. Sirius looked over again and then turned back to the computer, smiling to himself.
Remus was reading the Iliad, it made sense, the love for Percy Jackson and Greek mythology, studying history and english lit. That book is the perfect mixture of both.
Remus shifted slightly to allow Minnie to sit more comfortably, this caused the sunlight streaming in through the window to highlight Remus’ face in the most breathtaking way.
The afternoon sunlight cast Remus in a golden glow, making his brown hair turn an almost golden colour, and highlighting the gold flecks in his green irises.
Sirius, with Greek mythology still swimming at the front of his thoughts, couldn’t help but think Remus resembled Apollo in this moment.
The sun god who was seen as the most beautiful god, usually depicted with sunlight encasing him. He brought warmth and happiness to those around him, and was as bright and beautiful as the midday sun, just like Remus.
Sirius wanted to stay in this moment forever, memorising every freckle across the bridge of his nose, the scars that criss crossed across his face, the furrow in his brow as he concentrated on his book, the way his fingers so carefully turned the pages, like they could feel his touch.
As Sirius continued to study Remus’ face a feeling kept washed over him that he vaguely recognized. But they couldn’t quite place it.
Then Remus leant his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, and all Sirius could think was this was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, it was almost as if he was surrounded in a golden hue.
The feeling returned even stronger, sending Sirius’ heart racing and butterflies to sweep through their stomach. Finally willing to admit it, Sirius knew what this feeling was.
Love .
He was in love with Remus Lupin.
Sirius quickly averted their gaze, as if Remus could feel their secret love from across the room. He stared blankly at his computer screen as he tried to process everything like a normal person.
However instead, all that played over and over in his mind was the image of Remus, encased in sunlight, or daylight…
Sirius nearly laughed aloud, Taylor Swift really knew everything, even what loving Remus Lupin felt like.
‘I once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden, like daylight.’
Sirius had once thought love had to be messy, a secret, whispered words in dark rooms so that no one would know. It had to be painful and a drunken blur, ‘red’.
And when they lost that love, it was heartbreaking. Sirius had promised himself to never love someone like that again.
But this was different, yes it was messy but it wasn’t……. red.
It was golden.
Loving Remus was golden, quite like the daylight that flooded the room at that moment in time.
They didn’t know how to describe it any other way. Yes, what he was feeling was love, but it wasn’t the same as last time. It was warm and shimmering. It was beautiful.
It was golden…..
Sirius suddenly had an idea.
Remus could feel the warm sunlight on his face and sensed Sirius’ presence on the other side of the room. He hadn’t felt this peaceful in a long time, there was a warm presence of comfort in the room. Remus wanted this.
Just coexisting in harmony.
Whether it was romantic in nature or not, Remus just wanted to spend time with Sirius.
He was just starting to doze off when Sirius exclaimed from the other side of the room.
“Golden!”
Remus, still in a half asleep daze, responded, quite eloquently, “Huh?”
“I have my colour scheme, golden! It’s perfect. And it fits with the ancient Greek art style of statues and mosaics, depictions of the Gods with golden accents. And my art style includes sunsets and shadows and people and nature and it’s all perfect!”
As Sirius said this Remus made his way over to the kitchen countertop.
“I guess I better make a pot of coffee then” Remus said smiling, “What gave you the idea?”. He thought he saw a panicked look flash cross Sirius’ but he dismissed it.
“I’m not sure, maybe my brain just rebooted?” Sirius replied.
Remus spent the remainder of the afternoon and evening reading, making cups of coffee, and correcting Sirius’ grammar, “For Taylor’s sake Pads if you use the wrong ‘your’ again I’m going to kick you out!”
Once Sirius finished their paper he began brainstorming and planning his piece. With Remus not needed for this part he went back to reading, but soon fell asleep on the sofa.
Sirius continued to brainstorm and plan out his piece. They were focused solely on this project, nothing else……
Glancing over at a sleeping, beautiful Remus every thirty seconds didn’t stop him from working right?
At nine o’clock they had done all the planning they could, now all they had to do was go home and start the piece tomorrow.
Remus was still asleep and he didn’t want to wake him, so very quietly Sirius packed up their things and was writing Remus a note to tell him he went home when Remus stirred.
Remus blinked sleepily and smiled softly at Sirius, who had made their way into the living area. “Good morning sleepy head, is my company really that boring you can just easily fall asleep.” Sirius joked.
Remus rolled his eyes and stood up, noticing everything was packed up. “I guess that means you’re leaving now?”
Sirius just nodded. “Sirius, I'm glad I could help, and if you ever need me to sleep in the room while you work, go ahead.” Remus laughed and Sirius gave him a grateful look.
There was a pause, neither of them wanting to say goodbye, Remus was about to say something when Sirius surged forward and hugged Remus. “Thank you for everything Moony,” he mumbled into Remus’ shoulder.
“It really was my pleasure Pads.” he whispered back.
They hugged for longer than what would be considered ‘no homo’, but eventually Sirius coughed and retracted himself from Remus. “Sorry, I've had a day.”
Remus gave Sirius a stern look, “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about.” Sirius didn’t know what to say, “Padfoot, you don’t have to say anything ok, just try to believe it.”
Sirius smiled, “When did you become the one trying to convince me I’m great.” Remus chuckled softly, “I guess we both need to hear it every once in a while.”
Sirius found it hard to believe that he could love Remus anymore than he did at this moment. Maybe he should just say something? What was stopping them? How badly could it end up?
Sirius was about to say something, anything, so that Remus would understand how he felt when a loud ringing interrupted them. Sirius shook himself internally, ‘what was he thinking?!’
He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see it was James that was ringing them. “Sorry,” he said to Remus while answering the phone. “He worries and I forgot to tell him where I was going.” Remus shook his head in pretend disgust, but smiled.
“Sirius, where the hell have you been??” James shouted from the phone.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t study and Remus offered to help so I’ve been at his flat today.”
As Sirius continued to assure James he was fine Remus allowed himself to retreat into his own thoughts.
Before James had rung he thought there might have been a millisecond where Sirius was going to say something, something Remus wanted to hear. But he convinced himself he was just making it up, Sirius would never like him back, never mind love, so he just had to keep this to himself.
Sirius hung up the phone and smiled sheepishly, “I better head, I think James might actually murder me if I don’t.” Remus nodded in agreement, making his way towards the door to open it, “Oh I don’t doubt it, I don’t have any funeral clothes so get home before you cost me the price of a nice black suit.”
Sirius grinned and made their way through the doorway, he glanced back at Remus, “Thank you again Moony.”
Remus just rolled his eyes playfully, “Go!! If you say thank you one more time I will murder you before James does.”
Sirius gasped dramatically, “Well I best be on my way, I would quite like to be alive after spending so much time on my project!”
Remus smiled and waved goodbye as Sirius made his way out the front door.
Remus sighed deeply and groaned, putting his head in his hands, “Sirius Black is going to be the death of me,” he whispered to Minnie and Soxs, who had also come to say goodbye to Sirius.