Plants and distractions
(28th Sept, Wednesday 14:45)
Moony: ugh
Moony: plants
Padfoot: huh?
Moony: plants
Moony: I love them, I love them in my room, I love them in my flat
Moony: but I always kill them !!!
Moony: I can keep a cat and myself alive but I always kill plants
Moony: so I'm stuck with fake ones
Moony: WHICH ISN'T THE SAME, don’t believe what anyone else says >:(
Padfoot: well you’re doing better than mine, I can’t keep plants or animals alive
Padfoot: man I miss my hamster :’(
Moony: do I wanna know ??
Padfoot: I thought he would like to run around outside so I let him out onto the shared garden and he got lost
Padfoot: my neighbors found him a month later frozen under the decking :/
Moony: why do hamsters always have the most tragic deaths ?!?!?
Padfoot: that’s not even a bad one !!!
Padfoot: I had one that was really twitchy, and I hoovered too close to it’s crate and it had a heart attack
Moony: ooh ok that one’s worse
Padfoot: do you know how hard it is to do CPR on a hamster ?!?!??
Moony: oh Padfoot please tell me you didn’t !!!
Padfoot: ………
Moony: no !!!!
Padfoot: well it didn’t work anyway :’(
Moony: I wonder why that would be ?!?
Padfoot: probably because I sung the wrong song :(
Moony: the wrong song ???
Padfoot: yeah well when James, Peter and I had a first aid module in school we decided to recreate that one scene from The Office
Moony: the scene from the office ??
Padfoot: you know they start the demonstration on the CPR dummy, but instead of singing ‘stayin alive’ they sang, 'I will survive' instead of stayin alive which is like 100 beats per minute or something
Moony: ……..
Padfoot: IT WAS FUNNY AT THE TIME ?!?!?
Padfoot: Wormy, Prongs and I did a dance routine and everything to ‘I will survive’
Moony: I want to experience just one day in your classes in secondary school
Padfoot: twas an quite an experience
Moony: wait how is this relevant to your dead hamster ??
Padfoot: has anyone ever told you that you’re VERY impatient??!!?!
Moony: yes
Moony: sooooooo
Padfoot: soooooooo
Padfoot: so when James was shouting at me, “Remember what we learned, do it to the beat of staying alive!!” , the song we did the damce routine to was all I could think of :/
Moony: sometimes I wonder for your sanity ????
Padfoot: oh no it’s ok !!
Padfoot: we had a funeral, it was beautiful
Padfoot: Peter wrote a really heart wrenching eulogy, we were all messes
Moony: not gonna lie, I would pay good money to see that
Padfoot: oh you don’t have to, we filmed the whole thing !!!!
Moony: I-
Moony: I am at a loss for words
Padfoot: are you saying I have rendered you speechless Moony ;)
Moony: ……
Moony: all I wanted to do was be sad about my plants dying :’(
Moony: now I’m invested in a hamster funeral
Padfoot: and that is the wonder of being my friend ;)
Padfoot: enjoyable chaos !!!
Moony: anxiety inducing chaos**
Padfoot: is everything not anxiety inducing for you though ??
Moony: WOW
Moony: damn don’t hold back Padfoot
Padfoot: sorry love :(
Moony: nah I’m messing it’s fine
Padfoot: don’t scare me like that !!!
Padfoot: I was already halfway though writing my apology in my notes app
Moony: only right way to write an apology
Padfoot: I KNOW !!!!
Padfoot: WAIT !!
Moony: waiting ?
Padfoot: PLANTS !!
Moony: yes ?
Padfoot: before we talked about my beloved hamsters (rest their souls) I was going to say that I live with Prongs who can make anything grow
Padfoot: we have plants everywhherrrreee in the flat
Padfoot: and because he is Effie’s son naturally we have every herb and spice that you can grow yourself on our window ledges
Moony: can I please have Prongs ??!
Padfoot: NO HE'S MINE
Moony: only one day a week to make my plants grow, I'll give you Lily on that day :)
Padfoot: I'm interested
Padfoot: keep talking
Moony: she bakes and cooks and makes you take care of yourself and do your homework
Moony: I dunno how to describe it but she has a presence that feels like …..
Moony: the welsh countryside in the morning. when the birds are singing and the dew is on the flowers and fields and cobwebs, and the sun is rising
Moony: she calms me
Padfoot: where as Prongs is the sun when it’s fully in the sky, so bright and full of energy
Padfoot: we bounce off each other, he makes me better
Moony: maybe one day a week of the other would be good for us
Moony: Lils is also amazing at eyeliner
Padfoot: and there is the selling point !!
Moony: so you get free eyeliner and baking and calmness
Moony: and I get plants that live !!!
Padfoot: I feel like I'm getting the better end of this deal ??
Moony: Padfoot you underestimate just how much I wish I could grow plants
Padfoot: ok let’s shake one it
Padfoot: once a week I get Lily and you get Prongs
Padfoot: *holds out hand*
Moony: *shakes hand*
Padfoot: the question is which one do each of us get in the divorce ??
Moony: we don’t even know eachothers real names and we’re already getting divorced
Moony: damn you move fast -_-
Padfoot: it’s a precotionary measure !!!
Moony: well we could do it where I get them one week, you get them the next week?
Moony: and if we get along we can all have weekends together
Padfoot: wjjebsbebdbdnndnd
Padfoot: NOOOO :((((
Moony: what ???
Padfoot: Prongs has interrupted our divorce planning with dinner :(
Moony: ugh, the audacity !!!
Padfoot: I KNOW !!!
Padfoot: I mean I don’t have to eat now ??
Moony: Padfoot GO !!!!
Moony: eat or I will …
Moony: I dunno I can’t think of anything mean that’s isn’t too harsh :/
Padfoot: damn moons you’re loosing your mean touch
Moony: stop I know :’(
Moony: it’s terrifying
Moony: but when I have a migraine coming I get worse at insults
Moony: which is a very strange correlation ??
Padfoot: do you get migraines often ? (if that’s not too personal?)
Moony: yeah I get them every couple of weeks, sometimes they’re not that bad but sometimes I’m in bed for a day or two
Padfoot: that’s so shitty i’m sorry :(
Moony: it’s fine !!!
Moony: I’ve had them since I was five, I'm used to them by now
Padfoot: still shitty though x
Moony: mhmm
Moony: now go eat your dinner before Prongs kills me for stealing you !!!!!
Padfoot: he would never do such a thing :(
Padfoot: actually no he would :/
Moony: TOLD YOU !!
Padfoot: byeeeeee moonnyyyyyyy
(30th Sept, Friday 15:34)
(We love Taylor)
Padfoot: GOOOOODDDD AFTERNOOOONNNNNNN
Moony: shjhhhhhh
Moony: mograine
Moony: screen lught hurts
Moony: calk me if u wana
Padfoot: ok :)
*calling Moony ;)*
*whispering*
“Hey Moony”
*whispering back*
“Hi Padfoot”
“Are you ok ?”
“Mhmmm, just sore.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Usually a distraction helps, and talking to you is usually quite distracting.”
*quiet laughter*
“Well Moony you have come to the right place for a distraction, I'm wonderfully distracting”
“What best distracts you?”
“Me telling you a story?”
“You telling me a story?”
*eagerly* “I could sing a song if you wanted!”
*laughing*
“As long as I don’t have to talk you can do whatever you want.”
*laughing*
“I’m guessing that sounded way dirtier than you intended it to be!”
“Yes, you may talk about whatever you wish.”
“Is that better?”
“How polite !!”
“Well then, one highly dramatic story is coming up.”
*excited whisper*
“OH OK, I have a really good one."
“Here is the story of how one of the MANY infamous marauders' pranks resulted in the nickname Prongs.”
“Now Moony sit back and relax as my incredible story telling mixed with my deep sexy voice pulls you into a world of mischief and Prongs being an idiot.”
*chuckling lightly*
“Insufferable.”
“Now to set the scene you must know that Wormtail and I already had our nicknames at this stage, and we were on the hunt for one just as spectacular as Wormtail and Padfoot for James.”
“That's Prongs’ real name?”
“Underwhelming right!”
“You would think with parents called Euphemia and Fleamont, and a rich Indian culture dating back throughout history, mum and dad would have come up with a better name than James Potter.”
“Anyway, I will continue.”
“The marauders were planning one of our biggest pranks yet, and naturally we had to keep all our ‘materials’ hidden in our dorm.”
“As the days to the prank pulled closer we made sure our room was kept out of the sight of the prying eyes of teachers and snot faced snitches who would ruin our plan.”
“Snot faced snitches?”
“Moony, I'm trying to tell the story of legends, stop interrupting me and listen!”
“Two days before the prank James and I are sneaking around the castle when-”
“I'm sorry, did you just say castle?”
“Moony, I swear to TAYLOR! You are RUINING the dramatic build up of my story!”
“But yes castle, boarding school, scottish highlands, blah blah blah.”
“Where was I?”
“Oh yes, James and I were sneaking around the castle to collect our last ‘delivery’.”
“But as the master prankster I am, I thought why not prank James as well?”
“So I got Wormy in on it, we snuck around the castle to get our delivery and Wormy followed us, every once in a while he would make really strange noises and it scared the absolute shit out of James.”
“We collected the delivery and on the way back to our dorm the noises got closer and closer, obviously I had to play along with it to make it believable, so every while I would scream and pretend to be scared shitless too.”
“Wormy had to stay ahead of us on the way back thought to make sure we didn’t get caught.”
“By the time we got to the common room, Wormy had gotten ahead of us on the way and was already back in our dorm.”
“James was so distracted he didn’t noticed that it was me who slammed the door shut. and I swear to Taylor, James leapt twenty feet in the air and sprinted to our dorm, twas hilarious.”
“However in my eagerness to prank James, I had underestimated just how much noise we had made.”
“As I ran behind James into our dorm we heard footsteps which I just presumed was Wormtail lagging behind, about to ruin our prank on James, until I saw him already in bed.”
“Now I am starting to freak out myself.”
“We both jumped into bed scared half to death, and the footsteps kept coming closer.”
“I want to say I was brave and heroic but in reality I was shitting myself and hiding under the covers, James the ever brave bastard was searching our dorm for a weapon when the door flung open,
all James had managed to find in his frantic weapon search was a fork.”
“So as our unassuming head boy came into our room James yelled at him, ‘Not another step, I have Prongs and I'm not afraid to use them’.”
*light laughter*
“In James' delirious state of exhaustion, mixed with anticipation of the upcoming prank and the fear of Taylor in him he completely forgot the word for fork.”
“Poor Frank our head boy, all he was trying to do was make sure we didn’t wake up any teachers and get ourselves in trouble, legend he was, and instead he got threatened by a lanky sixteen year old with an old fork. AND he was actually James’ pansexual awakening which just made it even funnier because he blushed for about two days after the whole ordeal.”
*giggling*
“See not only was this hilarious and the name Prongs was born, for the next couple of weeks Wormy and I called anything we could think of that even VAGUELY resembled ‘Prongs’ of a fork, ‘Prongs’.”
“Three weeks later when we were in geography class watching a david attenborough documentary, a herd of stags came onto the screen.”
“And Wormy, the brilliant bastard that he is, says ‘Oh look they have prongs too’.”
“As James glowered at us, Wormy and I pissed ourselves laughing, so much so that Flitwick gave both wormy and I detention.”
“Now you may be thinking, ‘Padfoot, that's not so hilarious that you would get detention for it!”
“Well you would be wrong Moony dearest, in second year, we were caught out of bed and a torch was shone directly into our eyes.”
“Like normal people do, Wormy and I exclaimed in pain and put our hands over our eyes, but deer (pun intended) old James froze like a deer in headlights.”
“……..”
“Padfoot? Are you still there?”
“I'm pausing for dramatic effect!!”
*laughing quietly*
“Oh then, by all means, please continue.”
“Thank you dear Moony.”
“And so years of mercilessly teasing James for his stag ‘wink wink’ like tendencies, the pieces fell so beautifully into place that the nickname Prongs is almost as stunning as mine.”
“Thank you for coming to my ted talk, you may now ask questions.”
“Well that was one incredible story.”
“Why thank you Moony; only the best for you.”
“I do have one statement, but it’s not really related to the story?”
“Go ahead.”
“Your accent is like posher than half of the Chelsea population.”
“Well you know, old money and all that, we had to converse with correct eloquence blah blah blah, I left everything else from that life behind, but the accent kind of stuck.”
“Oh shit, sorry I brought it up.”
“Moony.”
*laughing quietly*
“Don’t worry, it’s ok.”
“I mean you can’t say much old moon man, you can take the Moony out of wales but you can’t take the wales out of Moony.”
“My accent is that bad huh?”
“Nah not really, but you know how dramatic I am Moony!!”
“How could I forget!”
“Moony?”
“Yes?”
“Can I ask you how you’re feeling now?”
“You may.”
“How are you feeling now?”
“A lot better, thank you Padfoot.”
“It really means a lot that you helped me.”
“My pleasure, any chance I can get to tell that story is a gift.”
*yawning*
“Maybe you should try and get some sleep? I don’t know a lot about migraines so I might be wrong but maybe it could help a bit?”
“I usually can’t sleep before or during a migraine because sometimes they’re induced by stress or panic attacks, but my panic symptoms are a bit less, so yes. I’ll try and sleep.”
“I'm glad I could help Moony.”
“Sweet dreams.”
“Dream of me, clothes on or off is your choice!”
“I'm doing the winky face right now in case you were wondering!”
“Oh look, I'm already asleep! Too bad I can’t respond to your flirty comments.”
*chuckling*
“You make me laugh Moony.”
“Goodnighttt.”
“Goodnight.”
*call ended 1hr 02 mins*