The Beginning
(14th September, Wednesday 11:45)
unknown number: I can’t believe this is happening !! I'm so proud of you :))) love you and see you soon xx
unknown number: I think you have a wrong number, because I have no idea who you are
unknown number: Reg wtf?
unknown number: oh
unknown number: waiiittt
unknown number: oh you’re right
unknown number: sorryyy, my phone doesn't like the numbers keyboard
unknown number: that's ok
(14:34)
(Disowned Black Brothers)
Sirius: Regulus !!!!
Reggie: Yes?
Sirius: oh good, it’s you :)
Reggie: As opposed to all the other Regulus’ you know?
Sirius: I’ve really missed your sarcasm xx
Reggie: Ok.
Sirius: are you still ok to stay with Pandora before you get your own flat ?
Reggie: Yes. It is all sorted.
Reggie: Don't worry, I’m fine.
Reggie: A little bit of disowning never hurt anyone.
Sirius: yeah yeah
Sirius: been there, done that, got the emotional trauma
Reggie: If we're going to play the trauma Olympics, I will win. At least you didn't have to hear your deadname everyday for the past twenty years.
Sirius: yeah well ….
Sirius: I can swim
Reggie: For fucks sake.
Reggie: I ALMOST DROWNED ONE TIME! ONE!!!
Reggie: You always have to bring it up.
Sirius: I’m so glad we can still have our sibling banter
Sirius: I’ve missed it x
Reggie: You're so emotional.
Sirius: you love meeeeeeeeeee
Reggie: It varies from moment to moment.
Sirius: maybe its just deep deep deeeeeppppp down
Reggie: It's a small possibility.
Sirius: James is shouting at me to ask you if you want to have dinner later with Effie and Monty at James and I’s flat, is that ok with you?
Reggie: They're your parents, not mine. I don't want to intrude.
Sirius: we all want u there Regulus, its not an intrusion. if u dont wanna go thats fine of course, but the offer is there x
Reggie: I will go for the meal, but I won't stay long after that.
Sirius: that's ok Reg, your boundaries are important, only do what you feel comfortable with.
Reggie: Who let you become so wise?
Sirius: James' emotional wisdom begins to rub off on you over the years.
Reggie: What time is dinner at?
Sirius: seven
Reggie: Ok. I'll be there at seven.
Sirius: perfect, I'll let James know <3
Reggie: Sirius?
Sirius: yeah?
Reggie: What did you mean earlier by, ‘Oh good it’s you’ ?
Sirius: ohhhhhhhh you scared me there for a second!!! just saying my name is so ominous :/
Sirius: I texted the wrong number earlier instead of you
Reggie: How romantic.
Sirius: I thought so too !!!
Reggie: I was being sarcastic.
Sirius: I know but it kind of got me thinking about it, like who knows ?!?? they could be my soulmate and I don’t even know yet?!?
Reggie: I highly doubt that.
Sirius: never change Reggie xx
Reggie: I don’t plan to?
Sirius: good
Sirius: see you later <33333333
Reggie: See you soon.
(17:14)
unknown number: soooooooo
unknown number: how was your day?
unknown number: you got the wrong number again
unknown number: no I was asking you, mysterious person in my phone
unknown number: you have had nothing better to think about today than a random stranger??
unknown number: we’ll aside from my brothers impending disownment
unknown number: you’re all that’s on my mind ;)
unknown number: your pick up lines need some work
unknown number: I resent your accusations!!
unknown number: I have it on good authority my pick up lines are phenomenal ;)
unknown number: you should recheck your sources
unknown number: you wound me!! and not in a good way ;)
unknown number: oh so these winky faces are a 'thing' you do?
unknown number: just so you know, that says a lot about you as a person x (and not in a good way)
unknown number: if you mean it says a lot me as an incredibly cool, dashingly handsome and punk rock person, then yes, you are correct x
unknown number: and your sarcasm says that you appear to be an extremely judgy person
unknown number: I like to start with indifference, leading towards mild annoyance, with people
unknown number: then I am not disappointed if I dont like them, instead just pleasantly surprised if I do
unknown number: ok well thats depressing
unknown number: however I will not be deterred!! it is now my mission to pleasantly surprise you
unknown number: that is not what I meant, like at all
unknown number: too late!!! no take backs
unknown number: no take backs? are we five?
unknown number: no I just have a slightly concerning need to be beloved by all.... but lets unpack that another time!!!
unknown number: alright, you seem to not be letting this go
unknown number: so you may continue your quest to win me over or whatever
unknown number: whatever helps you sleep at night :)
unknown number: rose quartz, I keep it under my pillow ;)
unknown number: oohhh so you’re a crystal person
unknown number: wait sorry what are your pronouns ?? (if you don’t mind me asking)
unknown number: oh he/they :)
unknown number: and I don’t mind male terms, like guy and things, but gender neutral is good too, either way is fine :)
unknown number: crystal guy^
unknown number: I use he/him pronouns btw :))
unknown number: and you are probably not, but just in case you are magically not cis but homophobic, I’m bisexual so if that’s a problem you can block my number right now
unknown number: don't worry I’m not homophobic :)
unknown number: I am VERY much gay
unknown number: and most of my friends are gay
unknown number: actually I think I don’t have any straight friends ?!?!?
unknown number: you know what, me neither !?!
unknown number: I guess its true that gay people just gravitate towards each other
unknown number: like our own little solar system :)
unknown number: how poetic
unknown number: I try my best
unknown number: queer poetry is a growing business in this economy
unknown number: I may have to start. I'll give you a little taste ;)
unknown number: some of my previous queer inspired works include 'im a slut for iced coffee', 'these little gay men are gonna make me cry' (I was watching good omens)and most notably, 'why is Hozier so cunty?'
unknown number: you may very well be the next literary genius of our generation
unknown number: thank you!!! thats what ive been telling everyone!!!
unknown number: yk what I think i'll put the Hozier one on my gravestone
unknown number: epitaph
unknown number: bless you??
unknown number: no, that’s what the writing on a gravestone is called
unknown number: ohhhhhhhh
unknown number: wait why the fuck do you know that ??
unknown number: I don't know, why DON'T you?
unknown number: you know what
unknown number: I actually can’t argue with that logic
unknown number: thank you ?
unknown number: you’re welcome love ;)
unknown number: now onto my plan of how I’m going to woo you :)
unknown number: I mean the incredible hair and natural charm can only do much
unknown number: are you a fan of flowers ?
unknown number: expensive jewelry ?
unknown number: just cold hard cash ?
unknown number: are you trying to woo me or make me your sugar baby ??
unknown number: however you want to interpret it ;)
unknown number: I mean how great can you’re hair really be ???
unknown number: you’re gonna have to get me A LOT of old, expensive, one of a kind books if you want me to be you’re sugar baby
unknown number: DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT ABOUT MY HAIR??!!??! WHAT DID THEY EVER DO TO HURT YOU!!??!? ALL THEY DID WAS LOOK GORGEOUS AND AMAZING AND INCREDIBLE ALL THE TIME!!!!
unknown number: you are incredibly dramatic
unknown number: why thank you ;)
unknown number: that wasn’t a compliment?
unknown number: welllll I'm gonna take it as one ;)
unknown number: now new lover/sugar baby
unknown number: lover is ambitious
unknown number: I said what I said ;)
unknown number: what can I call you instead of ‘unknown number’
unknown number: why do you assume that we’re going to talk again after today??!
unknown number: because my raw sexual magnetism draws everyone in ;)
unknown number: nope
unknown number: try again
unknown number: ehhhh ok, because who doesn't love talking to someone without the pressure of expectations and such, a clean slate, a fresh start, a stranger to vent to (with no judgement) if you need it, and all of that
unknown number: wow that was actually kind of……. poetic, if poetry was really bad
unknown number: plus I still have to win you over ;)
unknown number: annndddd you ruined your almost poetry
unknown number: anything for you my love;)
unknown number: *rolls eyes*
unknown number: ANYWAY, back to what I was saying!!!!!!!!
unknown number: as much as I love the sexy ring ‘unknown number’ has to it, to succeed at winning you over I feel like I need a name to call you (of course it doesn’t have to be your real name cause stranger danger and all that)
unknown number: how do I know I can trust you ??
unknown number: you can’t
unknown number: but are you willing to take the risk!!!
unknown number: so dramatic
unknown number: ok ehhhh, you can call me Moony
*unknown number changed unknown number’s name to Moony*
unknown number: Moony though ???
Moony: hey no judging, that’s my thing, get your own thing
unknown number: I have many things, excuse me !!!
unknown number: I’m amazing fun, I have spectacular music taste, I have a shit tolerance so I’m a cheap date because I’m floored after like two drinks ;)
Moony: you’re kind of insufferable
unknown number: why thank you Moony ;)
unknown number: now as for MY name
unknown number: you may call me Padfoot !
*Moony changed unknown number’s name to Padfoot*
Moony: wait…..
Moony: oh my god, youre a furry?
Padfoot: hey if you’re into that ;)
Moony: PADFOOT!!
Padfoot: fine fine too far
Padfoot: I’m not a furry, don’t worry x
Padfoot: so Moony
Padfoot: moon man
Padfoot: moonshine
Padfoot: tell me about yourself
Moony: what have I gotten myself into
Padfoot: a lifetime of flirty fun ;)
Moony: seriously ???
Padfoot: owjehehhebehr
Padfoot: I’m always ‘serious’
Moony: ???
Padfoot: oh right ehhhh
Padfoot : I guess you will understand one day, eventually, it has something to do with my actual name ;)
Moony: you’re assuming that I’m going to like you so much I will eventually want to know your real name ???
Padfoot: please Moonshine, you will only learn my name on the day of our marriage, like a true gentleman
Moony: insufferable
Padfoot: I'm just gonna take that as a compliment ;)
Moony: it really isn’t !!
Padfoot: sorry, are you saying something I can’t hear you??
Moony: we’re texting ???!!!
Padfoot: well then I'm choosing not to read your message :)
Moony: oh my god
Padfoot: I'm actually not god but I can see how you got confused;)
Moony: good lord
Moony: DON'T MAKE ANOTHER JOKE OR ISTG
Padfoot: you swear to me ;)
Moony: that’s it
Moony: I'm leaving
Padfoot: NO MOONY MY LOVE DON'T GO
Moony: well I actually have work now so I do have to leave
Padfoot: WAIT QUICK!!!!
Padfoot: before you go describe your appearance in very brief detail so I know how to picture you!!
Moony: this isn’t a weird sexting attempt is it ??
Padfoot: GOD NO!!
Moony: mhmm
Moony: talk to me tmw and we will see if I think you’re a sexual predator or not :)
Padfoot: wowwwww
Padfoot: you think so highly of me !!
Moony: yep :)
Padfoot: ugh fineeee :(
Padfoot: talk to you tomorrow Moony ;)
(20 mins later)
Moony: ughhhh ok
Moony: but this better not come back to bite me in the ass !!
Padfoot: hehhehehehhee
Padfoot: come
Moony: oh for fucks sake
Padfoot: noooooo Moonyyyy I’m sorrryy :’(
Padfoot: tell meeeee
Moony: I'm tall, have brown curly, green eyes and freckles and…
Moony: ehhh that’s it really
Padfoot: ok but how tall?!?
Moony: like 6’3 I think?!?
Padfoot: I have a thing for tall guys so you're in luck
Padfoot: I myself am stunningly handsome, have shoulder length glossy black hair that falls in effortless waves, grey eyes (but not a dull grey like a startling grey!!) and I'm usually adorned in a leather jacket and some assortment of rings and necklaces
Padfoot: and 5’11 if height matters for you ;)
Moony: I strive to have your self confidence
Padfoot: that is such a backhanded compliment
Padfoot: BUT I’ll take it !! :)
Moony: it wasn’t meant to be, I swear !!!
Moony: I’m honestly jealous, most people aren’t confident
Padfoot: well I figured I spent so much time hating myself might as well love myself now
Moony: your poetry is getting better!
Padfoot: maybe I should rediscover my career path ??
Padfoot: poetry could be my new calling
Moony: as much as I would truly love to go on this self discovery journey with you
Moony: I REALLY have to go to work now !!
Padfoot: ugh fine
Padfoot: it’s obvious you don't love me!!! just go *starts weeping*
Moony: again… leaving
Padfoot: BYE MY LOVE UNTIL LATER
Moony: insufferable
Padfoot: ;)
(19:23)
(moonflower supremacy)
Lilyflower: So what ever happened with that wrong number that texted you?? x
Lilyflower: Did they manage to find who they were looking for !?x
Moony: they did !!
Moony: but we actually ended up talking anyway :)
Lilyflower: TO A STRANGER ON THE INTERNET??!!
Lily flower: THEY COULD TRY TO STEAL INFORMATION FROM YOU REMUS
Lilyflower: YOU GUYS BECOME FRIENDS, SHARE SECRETS, AND THEN THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOUR CREDIT CARD IS MAXED OUT AND YOUR IDENTITY IS STOLEN!!!!
Moony: calm down MUM, it’s not like I gave them my name or anything
Moony: and I would have to have a credit card to max out in the first place???!!
Moony: we just ended up chatting a bit, he seemed nice, a bit arrogant but not in an annoying way??
Moony: he flirts like a lloottt but I feel like they do that with everyone
Moony: he also likes astrology and crystals
Moony: omg they would love Dorcas and Marls so much
Lilyflower: You seem to know A LOT about them?!x
Moony: yeah well we talked a good bit
Lilyflower: *narrows eyes in suspiciousness*
Moony: *avoids eye contact confusedly*
Lilyflower: Remus
Moony: Lily??
Lilyflower: You hate talking to new people, you have in fact said on many occasions ‘small talk is a form of fresh hell I didn't sign up for’
Lilyflower: It took me a year to finally break you and be your friend!!?! x
Lilyflower: AND you hate all arrogant people that flirt??
Moony: I don't hate everyone??!! and we just got on well that’s all, we will probably never talk again anyway, so it’s fine
Moony: and I don’t know, they were easy to talk to, probably because it was texting and not actual human contact
Moony: *shivers in disdain at the thought*
Lilyflower: Hhmmmmm ok, if you say so x
Moony: I do say so
Lilyflower: Okkkk
Lilyflower: Oh Marlene is here to study, I’ll talk to you later love <3
Moony: talk to you later Lils <3
(15th September, Thursday 11:47)
(disowned black brothers)
Sirius: so what should we name the chat?
Reggie: What do you mean, it has a name?
Sirius: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME !!!!!!?!?
Reggie: Was this meant for mysterious soulmate guy?
Sirius: yes !!!
Sirius: for fucks sake I cannot figure out why my phone won’t work ?!
Reggie: Well you can only drop it down so many flights of stairs before it stops working.
Sirius: true
Sirius: ok I'm getting a new phone tomorrow
Reggie: Ok.
Sirius: I love how excited you are for me x
Reggie: Yep. x
(13:01)
(Da Boyyyzzzz 🥶😩😈)
Effiesfav: I’m getting a new phone tmw !!!!
ProngsIsKing: finally !!!!
ProngsIsKing: I really thought you were going to get a new one when you dropped it into the lake :/
Effiesfav: it was fine !!?!? it dried didn't it!!
ProngsIsKing: so why the change of heart ?
Effiesfav: because if I try and text Moony it just sends a text to Regulus instead
ProngsIsKing: who?
Effiesfav: Moony??!!!
ProngsIsKing: I'm going to repeat, who?
Effiesfav: the guy I started talking to yesterday when I got Reggie’s number wrong (which I didn’t ?!??, my phone is just brokennnn)
ProngsIsKing: ohhhhhh right
ProngsIsKing: strange motivation for a new phone but I’m just glad you’re getting a new one :)
Effiesfav: I’ve been putting it off for so long
Effiesfav: I guess I don’t really want to get rid of the first thing I bought with money that was actually mine, not my families or anything, and I worked for it myself
ProngsIsKing: you know just because you’re gonna buy your new phone with Alphard’s money doesn’t make it your ‘families’
ProngsIsKing: he was disowned long before you were, and the money he left you he earned himself, after he left your ‘family’
ProngsIsKing: AND just because you can’t work anymore doesn’t make you like your family either !!
ProngsIsKing: your mental health is much more important than a job, and maintaining your old job and getting your degree just wasn’t going to happen
ProngsIsKing: you made the right choice Pads x
ProngsIsKing: and I’m really proud of you for getting a new phone x
Effiesfav: James Potter, I really fucking love you <3
ProngsIsKing: I’ve already invited Peter for dinner and comfort cuddles tonight :)
Effiesfav: brb sobbing on the floor in Primark
ProngsIsKing: you’re so strange x
Effiesfav: I LOVE YOU !!!!
ProngsIsKing: I LOVE YOU TOOOOO <3333
(16th September, Friday 11:10)
Moony: hey Padfoot are you ok?
Moony: it’s been a day or two so….
Moony: sooo I’m an idiot!!
Moony: I don’t even know why I’m doing this
Moony: bye I guess?
(16:34)
Padfoot: MOONY I'M SO SORRY !!!!!
Padfoot: my old phone broke and your number wouldn’t work !!!
Padfoot: it’s just kept sending the messages I tried to send to you to Reggie?!?!?
Padfoot: so I got a new phone !!
Moony: it’s okkkk
Moony: poor Reggie though :/
Padfoot: oh THANK GOD YOU DONT HATE ME !!!!!!
Moony: why would I hate you ????
Moony: it’s all good
Padfoot: are you sure ??!??
Moony: yes Padfoot, it’s fine, I promise
Padfoot: ok good :)
Padfoot: now I have to finish setting up my phone
Padfoot: Until later moon man :’(
Moony: insufferable x