ignite your bones
“Bye! Enjoy your weekend!” Scorpius called out as his class of small, hyper second graders grabbed their bags from their cubbies and ran from the classroom. It had been such a fucking long day.
Once the last student left the classroom, he cursed under his breath, stumbling backwards. His hand fell to his desk, and he bent over, leaning down and taking a deep breath. He hadn't realized how long he was standing for.
It was fine. He wasn't sick. It wasn't too bad.
He held out a trembling hand and reached for the drawer under his desk, pulling out a potion bottle. He’d already taken his dose for the day, but it probably wouldn’t hurt to take another. He pulled the potion close to him, shaky white hands struggling to open it. With a grunt, he pulled the cork out, the force causing his hands to weaken and the bottle to fall to the ground. He watched it shatter, liquid spilling out onto the ground.
“Shit,” His voice broke as he watched the green liquid leak into the carpet and stain it a darker shade of gray. “Shit shit shit.” He choked, his throat stinging as he felt his legs start to give out. “Fuck, no .”
His knees buckled, and he stumbled downward, gripping the side of the table the hardest he could. He felt so weak. It hurt. Everything was dark. He was so cold.
“Scorpius?” A voice broke through the fog.
He gasped a strained breath of air into his lungs, looking up. His vision got a bit brighter as he saw Albus. Well, a blurry blob of Albus shaped proportions. He had no idea what Albus was doing at his workplace, but he honestly wasn't complaining.
Albus rushed to his side, grabbing his hand and helping him stand up.
“Merlin’s beard, Scorpius,” Albus’ voice was filled with what Scorpius thought to be worry and disappointment. That seemed to have been a common theme over the past few years. “Here- sit down.”
Albus let Scorpius to his desk chair and he practically fell into it, a gasping breath entering his lips. He exhaled, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling as he recovered his strength.
“Um- here, eat this,” Albus had a bag of something in his hand. He set the brown paper bag down on the desk, pulling out a sandwich and a bar of chocolate. “You, uh, forgot your lunch.”
“I realized.” Scorpius snapped.
Albus exhaled. Scorpius frowned. He made him upset again. Of course.
Scorpius’ gaze stayed fixed on the food on his desk. He looked up at Albus. He looked pretty. Albus looked at him for a second look before looking away to stare at the broken potion bottle on the floor. His eyebrows furrowed.
“Your potion-” Albus knelt down, picking up the glass shards. Scorpius heard him inhale sharply, assuming he'd cut himself on one of the pieces. He stood back up, throwing the shards in the garbage. “Didn't you take it this morning? Why was it out?”
Scorpius looked at the cut on Albus’ finger. “You're bleeding.”
“I-” Albus looked down at his finger, healing it nonverbally with the wave of his hand. He then looked back at Scorpius. “Scorpius, you know you’re only supposed to take the potion once a day.”
“Okay.”
“Scorpius.”
“What do you want from me, Albus?” Scorpius yelled suddenly, standing from his seat. Albus bit his lip, his eyes slightly widened. “Why are you even fucking here? Just- just to get mad at me?”
“I'm not mad at you- Scorpius, would you sit down?”
“I know what my prescription is, I'm not a fucking idiot. You don't need to baby me and tell me everything I do wrong. I know , Albus. It's not like taking an extra potion is gonna kill me, because I'm already going to fucking die, incase you weren't aware-” He stumbled forward, being caught by Albus before he hit the ground. Too weak to get away, he relaxed into Albus’ touch, even though he knew Albus didn't want to touch him. Why would he?
Albus sat him back down, holding his hand tightly as he did.
“I just.. came to drop off your food,” Albus said quietly. “I can leave if you want.”
Scorpius held his hand the tightest he could, and though it wasn't very tight, it was tight enough to tell Albus to stay.
There was a beat of silence.
“You should eat,” Albus spoke a bit louder. “It'll help.”
“Yeah,” Scorpius answered, though he didn't move. A silence hung in the air. The thick stench of truth consumed the two of them. They knew there was no use pretending everything was fine. Scorpius had gotten so, so much worse. It was obvious. His skin had paled even more than how it usually was. His eyes had dark bags under them, and he was skinny. Abnormally skinny. His boney fingers trembled with every movement, and he was slower than he used to be. He knew Albus knew he didn't have much time left. He knew Albus didn't have the heart to confess that to him, or to confess it to himself.
Scorpius suddenly gathered the strength to sit up in his chair slightly, moving closer to the desk and grabbing the bar of chocolate with weak, unsteady hands. He tried to open the chocolate, struggling as the crinkling of the wrapper filled his ears and reminded him of his failure.
“I'll-” Albus started, being cut off by a stern look from Scorpius.
Scorpius finally tore the wrapper open, breaking off a piece and biting it. He felt nauseous, but it was slightly better than having no food in his body at all. He could feel Albus’ green eyes piercing into his skin as he ate, feeling too afraid to look up. He broke another piece off and offered it to Albus. Albus shook his head slightly, his eyebrows furrowed. Scorpius took a bite of the chocolate once again, the two of them sitting in silence.
They went home a few minutes later. Scorpius was supposed to stay to grade papers, but he didn't care. He could do that whenever. He wanted to spend the time he had left with Albus.
He liked Albus so much. Albus, with his sad eyes and uncombed hair which now reached down to his neck in messy black curls. Albus and his gentle voice, trying to keep Scorpius calm through his own tears and the thought that Scorpius could just be gone in an instant. Albus, who, despite everything, tried to pretend that it was fine, so that Scorpius could forget, even for the briefest moment, that they would never get to grow old with each other.
Albus wasn't a good actor. But Scorpius loved him nonetheless.
Night came quickly, and the two went to bed together. Scorpius used to stay up late and get work done, but as his condition worsened, it became harder and harder to stay up late and feel good in the morning. Albus made sure he went to bed early every day. It was sweet of him.
Scorpius pulled the blanket up to his neck, realizing that he was shivering. Albus wasn't shivering. It was freezing and he was fine.
“Aren't you cold?” Scorpius asked, his voice low. The two faced each other, though they could hardly see anything in the dark. All Scorpius could see was a faint outline of Albus and his whitish eyes.
“No, are you?” Albus asked.
“A bit.”
Albus moved closer to Scorpius, allowing the blonde to snuggle up in his chest. Scorpius was so small and frail that it wasn't a problem. He felt a warm hand move through his hair and separate each tangled strand so gently that it felt like there was nothing but a bit of wind blowing through his light blond fringe. He melted, his eyes shutting. He knew Albus was still wide awake. The man felt stiff. He heard Albus click his tongue like he wanted to say something but didn't know how.
“What is it?” Scorpius inquired.
“Um,” Albus breathed. “I- I need to say something but I don't want you to be mad at me.”
Scorpius didn't answer for a second. “I won't be.”
“Okay, um,” Albus exhaled, his hand ceasing its movement in Scorpius’ hair. “I think you should stop going to work.”
Scorpius’ eyes opened. He didn't answer.
“It's not healthy for you to be putting so much stress on yourself, especially in the state you were in. I mean, what happened today- if I hadn't gotten to you-”
“I can take care of myself.”
“I'm not saying that you can't, Scorpius, but-” He paused, searching for the right words. “I just don't want you to get hurt.”
Scorpius moved away from the embrace, turning so that he wasn't facing Albus.
“Scorpius..”
Scorpius stayed silent.
“Scorpius, please. I just don't want you to hurt yourself. Using that much energy every day isn't good. You tire too quickly. In the state you're in, you'll probably…” He stopped. Scorpius knew what he wanted to say. “You'll get hurt.”
“I'm not going to quit,” Scorpius said lowly. “I can't.”
“Please, just consider it-”
“ No ,” Scorpius’ voice was a bit louder, filled with emotions he didn't want to have. “I’m not
quitting.”
“Just-”
“I need this job, Albus,” Scorpius’ voice broke. “These kids- this means so much to me. I can't quit. I'm not going to. I- I need to keep working. I can't just stay home and rot .”
“That's not what I-”
“Do you want me to just think about my sickness until I die? Wouldn't you rather me be happy?”
“I'd rather you be okay! ”
Scorpius went quiet.
“I know,” Albus said. “I know. We both know.” He didn't want to say the d word. “But that doesn't mean you can't prevent it. At least for a little bit.”
Scorpius didn't answer. He knew Albus was right. He hated when he was right.
He felt Albus’ hands wrap around his waist. He pushed them off.
“Scorpius,” Albus' voice was fragile. Pained.
Scorpius hated himself. He didn't know why he was upset. He knew he shouldn't be upset. Albus just wanted him to be okay. It wasn't Albus’ fault that he was an asshole.
“Goodnight,” Scorpius said quietly, shutting his eyes.
“..Goodnight,” Albus hesitated. Scorpius could hear him turn to face the opposite direction.
He wanted to hug him so bad.
Scorpius began to drift off, hearing quiet sobs coming from the other side of the bed.