Chapter Four - Hoax
Hoax
“Care to explain what that was about?”
They’ve just barely made it through the door of their beach hut when Barty starts up with the questions.
The little huts that everyone will be staying in, are (surprisingly) really nice and cozy. Regulus walks to the back of the room to make sure that there is a full bathroom—there is. Thank God. One less thing he’ll have to curse his brother out for. There isn’t any sort of kitchen, not even a microwave and minifridge. That unsettles him. Microwaves are his favorite kitchen appliance. Are they supposed to eat all their meals out? Sirius better be paying for that, too.
After Regulus is done assessing their accommodations he glances at Barty, pushing his suitcase under the bed as he does.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You were trying to make him jealous,” Barty muses.
Regulus rears back. “No I wasn’t.”
“Yes you were.”
“Was not.”
Barty crosses his arms and leans against a wall, an amused look on his face. “I can do this all day, mate.”
“I was not trying to make him fucking jealous,” Regulus growls. “I just wanted him to leave me alone.”
“Hey, no judgement.” Barty raises his hands in defence. “You know me, I’m always more than happy to stir the pot. Making exes jealous is one of my favorite hobbies, in fact.”
“Well, that’s great for you,” Regulus says, as he checks one of the end tables for dust with a swipe of his finger. “But it’s not what I was trying to do.”
“Reguluuus,” groans Barty, throwing his head back. “Why can’t you just be honest with yourself? You still have feelings for him.”
“No,” Regulus spits out quickly and scowls. “I fucking hate him.”
“No you don’t.”
“I do, I really do.”
“No, you really don’t.”
“Yes, I do!” shouts Regulus. “He’s an annoying, oblivious, selfish prick that- that-”
“Mhm?” Barty smirks. “Go on.”
Regulus throws his hands up in the air, exasperated. “He’s so arrogant. Still, after all this time, he is arrogant and boisterous and immature and-”
“And you still have feelings for him,” states Barty simply.
Regulus flips him off with both hands.
The audacity. He has no right. Sure, he’s been Regulus’ best friend since they were little and yes, he’s been there for Regulus in his darkest times, but that doesn’t give him the right to- to insert his opinion where it’s not wanted. Or needed. If there are any feelings coming up, they’re anger and frustration. Nothing more.
“I don’t still have feelings for him,” Regulus insists. “With everything that happened, I can’t. I’m just angry. I didn’t think I would be still, after all this time, but I am.”
***
“I just think that you should take the floor. Since I am here doing you a favor and all; it’s only right that I get the bed.” Barty reasons as they both stare at the queen bed in front of them.
“Oh yeah,” Regulus rolls his eyes, “because it’s such a difficult ask for you to spend a week in Spain relaxing on the beach.”
“It is when I’m expected to not hook up with ANY sexy Spanish people for the entire week.” Says Barty matter-of-factly. “I mean, you saw that receptionist José. Man, would I take a bite-”
“Javier.”
“What?”
“The receptionist’s name was Javier.”
“Oh,” Barty’s eyes twinkle with devious delight. “My bad, I forgot you were on such a friendly basis with the man.”
“Don’t be stupid Barty,” huffs Regulus. “I’m just correcting you on his name.”
“Oh you really want him,” cackles Barty.
“I am going to murder you in your sleep.”
“Admit it, you wanna get biblical with him,” says Barty, doing a crude gesture with his hands.
Regulus goes to jab him in the stomach, but Barty is ready and dodges the hit easily.
“It would be a good distraction from James,” he continues, not the least bit deterred by the homicidal glare he’s receiving. “Like I always say: the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one.”
Never in his life, has Regulus wished more that someone’s dad had pulled out.
“I fucking hate you and I’m taking the bed.” Regulus jumps onto the soft mattress and starfishes.
“Aww baby-cakes, if you wanted to cuddle, all you had to do was ask.” Barty hops, lightning fast, on top of Regulus. Consequently, squishing the life out of him.
“Ge’ your fa’arse off me,” Regulus manages to get out, despite his face being smooshed between the bed and Barty’s shoulder.
Barty rolls over, body shaking with silent laughter. Regulus stares at him with utter loathing. He’s got to spend a week sharing a room, a bed, with this lunatic. What was he thinking? It had been slow torture spending seven years in the same dorm as him, how had he forgotten that? It’s all Pandora’s fault. Why had she ever suggested him?
“I am not cuddling with you,” he clarifies.
Barty shrugs, his laughter dwindling down slightly. “Your loss.”
“Also,” Regulus turns his head to his friend, “Just to be clear, I’m not hooking up with any Spanish men while we’re here and neither are you.”
Barty opens his mouth.
“No women either.”
“What about-”
“Or anyone else. No hooking up with anyone of any gender,” he states firmly. “We are supposed to be in a committed relationship. If anyone saw you sneaking in a random hook up, what do you think the reaction would be?”
“We could be polyamorous,” offers Barty hopefully.
He shakes his head. “I am not polyamorous. James won’t buy it.”
Barty gives him a significant look.
Regulus rolls his eyes and sits up, leaning against his hands.
“Don’t look at me like that,” says Regulus. “I’m being serious. He would think it’s suspicious. I was a bit…”
He cringes and can’t finish his sentence.
“Jealous?” asks Barty innocently, though Regulus can hear the layer of amusement in his tone.
He nods begrudgingly. Regulus has always been the jealous type. It’s never been a secret; although he’s not boastful about it, by any means. Casual flings with people he doesn’t have much investment in? Fine. But he can’t do sharing with people he cares for. He learned that with James.
Barty knows this. He just loves to watch people squirm.
“Yeah.” He says curtly. “You know I can get kind of-”
“Moody?” suggests Barty, with a raised eyebrow.
Regulus glares at him. “I was going to say possessive.”
“I don’t see how that’s better.”
“My point is,” continues Regulus, exhaling deeply, “James would probably ask questions. Or someone else would. So no hook ups.”
“Fiiiinnneee,” whines Barty, slumping back into the bed. “Any other ground rules we need to discuss? Perhaps how we should kiss so that James doesn’t think it looks ‘suspicious.’”
Regulus’s face twists in disgust. “No. We don’t need to kiss at all.”
Barty gives him a ‘be fucking real’ look. Regulus doesn’t know why he deserves that.
“Piss off,” he grumbles. “I am not kissing you.”
“Um ouch,” replies Barty indignantly. “It’s not like it would be the first time.”
“That was when we were eleven!”
“Um okay!?” Barty quickly grabs Regulus’s face in his hands. “Reggie, that was the best fucking kiss of my life and I’ve never been able to get it out of my head.”
Regulus thinks he’s serious for a split second, shocked at the intensity in his friend’s eyes. Then he sees a flicker of a smile cross over his face and immediately shoves him away. Barty breaks out in a fit of giggles again. Regulus rolls his eyes for the umpteenth time and stands up to get as far away from the unpredictable man as he can.
“Fuck you Crouch, I thought you were about to confess your love.”
“And you almost bought it,” he says between hiccupping laughs. “You should’ve seen your face.”
“Yeah well,” Regulus hisses, “I nearly had a heart attack.”
“Ohh,” Barty rolls around on the bed clutching his stomach. “If you’d needed an ambulance, it still would have been worth that face.”
“Thank you. So much,” gripes Regulus, crossing his arms. “Really happy to know you getting a few laughs, is worth my life.”
Barty slaps the bed several times, howling with laughter. Regulus rethinks all his life choices that brought him to this moment.
“I’m going to take a shower.” He grabs a towel from the small linen cupboard on the back wall and goes into the bathroom.
“Wait, Babycakes!” calls Barty, still laughing. “Don’t you want me to join you?”
“Fuck off.” Regulus slams the door to the bathroom, which doesn’t have the affect he thought it would, given that it’s a sliding door. That causes Barty to laugh harder.
***
"We probably should go over some ground rules,” says Regulus, after he’s gotten out of the shower. He’s dressed in black slacks and a black t-shirt which, admittedly, isn’t his best outfit but he doesn’t have anything better. He brought fancy dinner clothes or casual beach wear. Nice slacks and a plain t-shirt were the best he could come up with for something in-between. Now, he’s looking through his rings, deciding which ones he wants to wear.
They’re going to be meeting the rest of the group in a bit. He doesn’t know when but it’s a guarantee that Sirius will come drag them out as soon as he wants them.
“What for?” asks Barty who is just now getting dressed after his shower.
“For this pretend relationship, Bart,” he drawls. “Example: you are not allowed to call me any more stupid nicknames.”
“Aw, babycakes is out?” Barty asks, sounding heartbroken.
“Yes. Obviously.”
“Fine. Then…” Barty trails, scratching his neck as he thinks. “Ah, I’ve got it. You’re not allowed to shag me.”
Regulus blinks at him, unamused. “I was never, ever, planning on it.”
“Good, then we shouldn’t have a problem,” he replies contently.
“Barty, seriously,” prods Regulus, “You don’t have any lines you don’t want crossed?”
“Uh, nope. I’m fine with doing anything. Except sleeping with you because I just don’t think that’d be very good for our friendship, sorry mate.”
“Trust me, I’ll survive,” says Regulus with a shake of his head. “Okay, then I’ll just lay out some ground rules. We don’t need to kiss unless absolutely and completely necessary.”
“Fine by me,” shrugs Barty, “but I think people will start asking questions.”
“I doubt it,” Regulus argues. “No one here knows what I’m like in a relationship, besides James, but that doesn’t even count. Everyone will just think we’re not the PDA type of couple. Which I really am not anyways, so.”
“Okay.” Barty grabs some cologne and sprays too much on. Regulus winces, knowing he’ll be in close contact with him for the rest of the night. “Anything else?”
“We need a story.” He sits down on the bed and looks in the mirror that is hanging on the wall beside it. His hair is slightly frizzy, even though he used his anti-frizz curl cream. Stupid humidity. “Since you were an idiot and said that we had a one-night stand, I guess we’ll have to go with that.”
“Excuse you.” Barty raises a finger, shaking it. “That was fast thinking. You couldn’t have come up with anything better that fast.
“I can think of at least five things better than saying we had a one-night stand in front of my brother and niece.”
“You know what, I don’t need this. I totally saved your ass, and you know it.”
Regulus rubs his forehead. “Moving on. How long have we been together?”
“A year,” Barty says then shakes his head quickly. “No, seven months. No! Ten months and two weeks. Boom.” Barty drops an invisible mic.
“Why.”
“If we want to make it believable, we have to be specific,” says Barty like it’s obvious.
“Or,” says Regulus, “we don’t because anyone in a real relationship wouldn’t say that.”
“Okay, if you don’t want to take this fake relationship seriously, I understand,” Barty says with mock disappointment.
“Okay great,” Regulus states, ignoring his dramatics. “Let’s say four months because it’s enough time to have established things but not too long that it will be weird as to why I didn’t tell anyone sooner.”
“Whatever you think.”
Barty flops down on the bed carelessly and then sits up just as quick. Widening his eyes, he turns to Reg. Knowing he’s about to ask something stupid, Regulus braces himself.
“What do I do if James asks me something about your dick?”
Regulus was expecting something stupid, not something certifiably, insanely, idiotic.
“Why the fuck would James ask about my dick?”
Barty shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know what he’s into.”
“He’s not going to ask you anything about my dick or our sex life.” Regulus assures him, even though he doesn’t think he should have to.
“If you say so.” Barty lays back down, looking unconvinced.
Regulus can’t bring himself to say anything else. No matter how much he cares for Barty, it’s always exhausting being around him. They’re both silent for a bit. Barty stares at the ceiling, throwing a wadded-up piece of paper into the air. Regulus organizes his suitcase.
He has this thing where he needs his living space to be in order. Everything in its place and a place for everything. It can be… annoying to others, he knows. When he lived with Evan, after school, it’d been the main thing that had them at each other’s throats. You would think they would have been used to it, having shared a dorm for seven years, but apparently having their own place made everything worse. He knows he should go to therapy or something, but he just doesn’t want to go down that rabbit hole. It’s something he’s dealt with on his own since he was young, so he doesn’t see the need to change what’s working.
“Hey,” Barty speaks up again after a whole two minutes of silence. “James is divorced.”
Regulus freezes, staring at his folded clothes. Yeah. James is divorced. How bloody unexpected that had been. When he saw Lily and that woman, who he later realized was an old schoolmate Mary, holding each other, he’d thought they were just close friends. Because what other explanation could there be? There was no way James, Harry, Lily and Lily’s new lover were on a family vacation together. Alas, they were, and it was apparently completely normal to everyone else but him.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he says.
Barty stays silent for another moment and then, “Okay, but have you considered what that-”
“Barty.” He says sharply, cutting his friend off before he can say what Regulus knows he wants to.
“Alright, alright.”
Thankfully, before Regulus can dwell anymore over the Potter’s divorce, there’s several excited knocks on their door. Then a loud, “Regulus, Bartemius, get your asses out here.”
“Dorcas.” They grin at each other.
“God, I hate it when she calls me that,” Barty grumbles as he gets up from the bed.
Regulus smirks as he goes to open the door, Barty right behind.
“What’s up, dickheads!”
“Marlene,” Regulus and Barty both groan.
Look, Regulus doesn’t dislike Marlene. He thinks they’re a lot of fun, in fact. Ever since Dorcas started dating them in school, he knew they were perfect for his friend. Granted, the couple have had their ups and downs, fights, and breakups but in the end, he knew they would always work it out. Marlene is the rowdy firecracker to Dorcas’s quiet match. Does that metaphor make any sense? Whatever, his point is, is that Marlene is a feisty person that loves to start shit and have fun. Dorcas is a quieter plotter who you never see coming but can absolutely destroy you. Marlene doesn’t have an off switch and Dorcas does.
Regulus meshes more with Dorcas, but he appreciates Marlene’s spirit. She’s a lot like Barty actually (which is probably why the two don’t get along very well) but Regulus only has enough capacity in his life for one rambunctious friend.
“Treat my girlfriend with respect or I will tie both of you to an anchor and watch as you drown.” Dorcas says and then opens her arms wide. “Now give me a hug!”
“She called us dickheads,” Barty complains as he’s pulled into a group hug.
“You’ve heard worse, shitbrain,” Marlene punches his arm.
“Cunt,” Barty shoots back.
“Knob.”
“Wanker.”
“Cocksucker.”
“See now that’s just a fact,” Barty replies, smiling cheekily. “You can’t insult me with the truth, Mckinnon.”
“Would you two shut up.” Dorcas smacks Barty upside the head and tugs Marlene into the bungalow hut.
“Ouch!”
“When’d you guys get here?” Regulus asks the couple as he follows them in, shutting the door behind him. Barty barely avoids getting shut out and gives a two-finger salute to Regulus.
“Just a little while ago,” Marlene answers, making themself at home as she takes her shoes off and sits on the bed cross-legged. “We saw Sirius just now, after we were finished checking in. He told us where you guys were.”
Regulus leans against a wall and Barty spreads eagle on one of the chairs. Dorcas lays down on her stomach on the bed and puts her head in her hands. She looks between the both of them grinning.
“Well?”
“Well, what?” asks Regulus playing dumb for as long as he can.
Marlene and Dorcas glance at each other and then give him an unimpressed look.
“When were you going to tell me you two got together?” Dorcas says like duh.
“Sorry.” Regulus shrugs.
Dorcas shakes her head several times. “Nope. Explain.”
Marlene nods in agreement. Regulus shifts his gaze between them and then looks at Barty. They have a split-second to telepathically communicate what they should say. Barty nods very slightly and Regulus does the same.
“It’s a new development.” Regulus says at the same time Barty says, “We’re not really dating.”
Regulus slaps his face. Apparently, they need to work on their telepathy skills.
“Damnit Bart.”
“Whoops.”
Marlene and Dorcas don’t look very surprised. Dorcas drops her head into the blankets and Marlene bursts out laughing.
“Tell me you haven’t,” moans a muffled Dorcas.
“I told you!” Marlene giggles gleefully.
“I don’t know what you two are on about, but I just asked Barty to be my fake boyfriend so that I wouldn’t have to show up single,” says Regulus with irritation. “My brother was being a twat, going on about how I’d be the only one alone.”
“Mhm,” Marlene sizes him up with a raised eyebrow, “you sure there’s no other reason? Perhaps something to do with James Potter being single again?”
Regulus snaps his head to them and then to Dorcas. A guilty expression crosses his friend’s face, and she laughs nervously. Treachery. Absolute betrayal has befallen.
“Dorcas,” He groans wiping a hand down his face. “Not you.”
“I’m sorry!” She exclaims, sitting up. “In my defence, she figured it out on her own with context clues, awhile ago.”
Marlene smiles sheepishly. Regulus sighs and slides down onto the floor. Pulling his legs up, he rests his arms on his knees and stares at them. Well, the secret’s out now, may as well be honest.
“It’s fine,” he concedes. “I’m not trying to make Potter jealous. I mean… okay, if that happens, it wouldn’t hurt but I really am only pretending to date Bart because I couldn’t deal with the awkwardness of showing up single. Happy?”
Marlene and Dorcas look at each other and then bow their heads. Marlene scratches the back of her neck. Dorcas fiddles with the rings on her fingers.
Regulus rolls his head back. “Don’t do that. Don’t pity me.”
“Okay we won’t.” Dorcas straightens up and puts on a serious face. “I think it’s completely fair to not want to show up alone. But that doesn’t mean this,” she gestures between the men, “is a good idea.”
“Yeah, what if James finds out?” asks Marlene.
“So what if he does?”
“Well… it could make the whole plan crumble and cause some real awkward tension, for starters,” says Dorcas.
“He won’t,” Regulus says forcefully.
“Alright,” Dorcas says, sounding unsure. “It’s obviously too late now, so I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“It’ll be fiiine, Dorc,” Barty pipes up. Dorcas scowls at him for the nickname but he continues unperturbed. “We’ve already discussed ground rules and our fake backstory. No one will know any better.”
“Let’s hear it then.”
***
After they’d told Dorcas and Marlene their story, and both had sufficiently gone over every possible question they could get asked, Dorcas was satisfied.
Marlene left soon after, saying she wanted to go say hi to everyone else. Regulus made her swear she wouldn’t tell anyone, especially James. They’d rolled their eyes and told him, “Obviously, I’m not an idiot. Unlike Crouch.” He wasn’t sure if he was completely reassured by that though. She’s trustworthy but also one of James’s oldest friends. The idea that they won’t accidently let the beans spill, seems a bit like wishful thinking. He tries his best not to worry about it.
“So, how come you never mentioned that James was divorced?” Barty asks Dorcas randomly, once their conversation starts to dwindle. “You must’ve known from Marlene.”
“Uh well…” Dorcas looks at Regulus reluctantly. “You want the truth?”
Regulus nods.
“I didn't think it would be beneficial, in any way, for you to know. He destroyed you, Reg.”
He stays silent, his thoughts drifting back to year seven.
***
“You’ve been acting weird for weeks now. Why won’t you just tell us what’s going on, Reg?” Begged Dorcas, worry clear in her eyes.
Dorcas, Evan, Pandora, Barty and Regulus were all hanging out in the boys’ dormitory. Barty had smuggled in some firewhisky, which they were trying to enjoy. Unfortunately, it was dampened by Regulus’ foul mood. A fouler mood than his usual, that is. He tried his best not to be a wet blanket, but it was hard with all the things plaguing his mind.
“Nothing’s going on,” he gulped down some firewhisky.
“No, sorry mate.” Barty grabbed the bottle and took a big swig of it himself. “That’s not gonna cut it anymore. Meadows is right, you’ve been miserable for a while. Since the end of sixth year, now that I’m thinking about it. But it’s gotten worse since this summer.”
Regulus stared at the ground. He was too tipsy for this conversation. The thought of trying to talk to them about what he was feeling was just… no. Plus, he’d have to explain all the stuff he’d been hiding from them for a year. He didn’t see any way of getting out of this, though. They’d been questioning his sour demeanor for weeks.
“Why won’t you just admit that this is about a breakup?” Evan said from where he was perched against his bed post. He was the only sober one, inexplicably not the drinking type.
Damn. Why did Rosier have to go and say that?
Regulus moaned, pulling his knees up to his face. He couldn’t admit that. Because it wasn’t just about a breakup. It was about a secret hookup. A boy hookup. A boy that none of them would have thought was a good idea to begin with. It was about said boy having moved on just weeks after their breakup, making them right. It was about the fact that he couldn’t even be mad because they weren’t ever together.
He loved and trusted his friends but… if news got out even just as a rumor, that he’d been with a boy… He shuddered to think what his parents would do.
The room was completely silent, Regulus swore you could’ve heard a pin drop. Just barely peeking up from his knees, he saw all his friends staring at him. Waiting for him to talk. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes hard. He needed to say something, knowing they wouldn’t let this go without some sort of answer.
“It’s about a breakup.”
They all waited for him to go on. He took a deep breath.
“Or sort of. It wasn’t really a breakup.”
He opened one eye slowly.
“Okay,” Pandora smiled at him comfortingly. “Do you want to tell us about it?”
He nodded and let his legs stretch out. Looking at the ceiling he said, “We were hooking up for awhile in sixth year. It wasn’t supposed to get serious. Then it…did. Feelings got involved, so I cut it off.”
“Feelings on your end or their end?” Asked Dorcas. He noticed the use of ‘their’ in her sentence. It made him smile slightly.
“Both,” mumbled Regulus, “I think.”
“Well, why did you do that?” Barty asked, baffled.
“Barty, leave him alone,” chastised Pandora.
“I don’t know,” groaned Regulus. “It was becoming suffocating. He was getting too attached and-”
Immediately he snapped his mouth shut. His eyes grew wide, looking between all his friends in panic. No one said anything but none of them looked particularly repulsed or shocked. Pandora smiled gently, not looking surprised in the least.
“I- I didn’t mean to say that,” said Regulus hastily. “Please don’t- please don’t tell anyone.”
“It’s okay,” Dorcas said slowly, reassuringly. “Regulus, you already know we’re queer.” She gestured from herself to Barty. Barty gave a salute with the firewhisky. “Nobody in this room has ever outed either of us. We all know the ramifications of that.”
“Yeah, I mean,” Barty paused to take a sip. “I wouldn’t really say I’m queer, that sounds a bit too posh. I’m not a pansy. But like no judgement. I don’t care who you sleep with if you don’t care who I sleep with. There’s no reason to tell anyone.”
“Yes, thank you for clarifying Barty,” Dorcas rolled her eyes.
Barty shrugged. She shook her head and looked back over to Regulus. Relief flooded his face, although he was still on edge. It wasn’t like him to be so careless with his secrets. He just felt comfortable with his friends, he supposed. It’d been killing him last year, not being honest with them.
Evan and Pandora still hadn’t said anything though. Pandora was still smiling, almost like she’d been frozen with the expression on her face. Evan’s face was inscrutable. Not being able to make out what he was thinking unnerved Regulus.
“Evan?” whispered Regulus.
“Yeah,” Evan seemed to snap out of some sort of trance. “Sorry, of course. Yeah. It’s fine if you’re gay. I think… I might be too. But not just gay. I like girls too, still.”
“You’re bisexual then?” offered Pandora from his left.
“Maybe… Yeah.”
“That’s nice,” she said wistfully. “I am too. Women are lovely.”
“Hold up, everyone in this room is gay then?” Barty sat up more fully.
“I never said I was.” Regulus said, frowning. Everyone gave him a look. He huffed out a laugh. “Okay yeah, I’m gay.”
“Well if I had known that, then I would’ve-”
“None of us are going to sleep with you Barty,” they all said at the same time.
Barty frowned and slouched back down against the trunk he’d been leaning on. “That’s hurtful. I’m a great lay.”
“Why didn’t you just tell us that you were seeing someone last year?” asked Evan, ignoring his other dormmate. “We all pretty much knew you were hooking up with someone.”
Sighing, Regulus grabbed the half empty liquor bottle back and poured some in his mouth. Good old reliable liquid courage.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “For one, I wasn’t ready to come out. And for two… if you all found out who it was you probably would have told me to cut it off right away.”
They all looked at him with concern and unease.
“Well, that doesn’t sound good,” Barty said.
“Yeah, I know,” agreed Regulus.
“So…” Dorcas sat forward. “Are you going to tell us who it is now that it’s over?”
“No.”
“Aw c’mon Regulus,” complained Barty.
“I don’t want to talk about this.” Regulus stood up from his spot on Barty’s bed. He went over to his own and covered himself in the blankets.
There was a chorus of boos and he flipped them off without looking. Then there was a bend in the bed by his feet. He lifted the covers off his face to see Pandora gazing down at him.
“I’m sorry you had to break it off with the boy. We’re here for you for whatever you need, even if you never tell us anything about him.”
“I still expect you to tell me who it is though,” called Barty. “Just for the record.”
Regulus snorted and then nodded at Pandora gratefully. He appreciated the gesture. He knew she was being honest. No matter what any of them said or did, though, it wouldn’t help. Nothing would. He was beyond repairing.
Dorcas sat down on his other side. She lifted her hand to stroke his forehead then thought better of it, resting it next to his head instead. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear right now but I’m saying it anyways. Tough love, okay?”
Regulus frowned, staring up into her serious eyes. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear whatever she had to say. Would it just make him feel even worse? Probably, but Dorcas would never say anything to intentionally make him feel bad. Besides, she would just say it no matter if he protested. He nodded once.
“I think whatever went down, whether it was your fault or his,” she said, “It messed you up. We’re all making light right now and teasing, to make you feel better, but the truth is, we’re all scared for you Regulus.”
He sat up, slowly, looking around at all his friends for confirmation. They all seemed to immediately sober up under his gaze. Barty looked more serious than he’d almost ever seen him, holding his eye contact. Evan looked uncomfortable and stared at the floor. Pandora had tears in her eyes but was trying her best to hold them in. Regulus didn’t know what to say at this sudden intervention. Dorcas continued, however.
“You look ill all the time. Evan and Bart say you’re not sleeping much. You’ve lost weight,” she took a deep breath, getting choked up. “Reg, do you need help?”
No, no no no. Fuck this. He couldn’t do this. It was extremely hot under the blankets all of a sudden. Regulus jumped up from the bed and paced back and forth, pulling his tie off his neck desperately. He looked around the room again and the expressions of pity and worry on all his friend’s faces made him want to hurl. He needed to get the fuck out of there.
“I can’t do this. I need air.” He darted out of the dorm room before anyone could stop him and slammed the door.
***
“I’m over James. It’s been a long time. Him being single now, doesn’t change anything. I don’t know why it would. And being blindsided by his divorce sure didn’t help anything,” Regulus says, upset now.
Why is everyone acting like he’s a porcelain doll that needs to be handled with care? And on top of that, why does everyone think he’s still in love with Potter? They’ve barely spoken in the 14 years since they called things off. Has he sometimes thought about what might’ve been? Of course, who wouldn’t? James was his first love and maybe his only since, but that doesn’t mean he still wants to be with the man. He’s an asshole. The James that Regulus had fallen for had been a lie. He’d clearly proven that after they’d called things off.
“Okay,” Dorcas says delicately. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
Regulus grit his teeth together. “Yeah.”
“Alright, lazy-asses, get out here!” Sirius yells from outside, banging on their door. “I have lots of plans for tonight and not enough time to wait around for you two to join us.”
For once, Regulus is grateful that his brother interrupted his conversation. He answers the door and Barty and Dorcas come up behind him.
“Hey Meadows,” Sirius greets, surprised. “Sorry, thought it was only Reggie and Crouch in there.”
“It’s fine,” she chuckles. “I was the one hanging them up anyways.”
“You wanna go get Marls and meet us on the beach? I have some special things planned for this evening that involves the whole group.”
Regulus does not like the look on his brother’s face. He’s definitely up to something. Dorcas agrees, saying she’ll be quick as she leaves.
“You going to tell us what it is?” asks Regulus, eyeing Sirius.
“Nope!”
“I think I’ll stay in for the night, thanks.” Regulus turns to go back inside but Sirius pulls him back.
“No chance,” Sirius says. “Everyone must participate.”
“Oh really?” Regulus crosses his arms. “Why didn’t you tell me about where we’d be staying then? If you wanted me to participate in one of your schemes you should have thought about that before lying.”
“It’s not a scheme and I didn’t lie exactly…” Sirius tries. Regulus is unimpressed. “Okay, okay, you’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the accommodations or the fact that there’s no wifi. But would you have agreed to come if I had?”
Regulus hates when Sirius has a point.
“Fine,” Regulus relents. “Just tell me what it is you have planned.”
Sirius sighs with disappointment. “Alright. But only if you promise to participate.”
“Oh, come on. I’m sure it’ll be interesting at the very least,” Barty says, wrapping an arm around Regulus’s shoulders. “Just say yes Reg and we can get this over with.”
Regulus thinks for a minute and then agrees begrudgingly. Sirius whoops in victory and Regulus wants to strangle him. They all walk down the beach, Sirius in the lead. It’s nearing sunset but there’s torches lined up in the sand not to far from them. The tide is low and there’s not much wind so the water’s fairly calm. It’s actually quite pretty, Regulus thinks. He doesn’t see the ocean much because he’s not big on the sun or water. But the ocean is breathtaking, and the white sandy beach seems to glow from the orange sun.
Then, all of those thoughts are decimated as he notices what's down the beach where Sirius is taking them. He hates beaches. He’s never going to another one again.
“If this is one of those fucking team building things you mentioned, I will actually kill you.”
Sirius sucks his lips in, trying not to laugh. “Funny you should say that…”
“Jesus Christ, Sirius.”