prologue
Remus comes to the realisation that he's rather hopelessly crushing on Sirius Black at the end of third year.
It had been brewing for some time before that, to be honest, but Remus was really quite oblivious when it came to things about himself. He hadn't even known he was gay until Peter had kissed him suddenly one fall morning, and there it was. He’s always just sort of blundered around in the dark until he has a prophetic moment and everything makes sense suddenly. Well, this was one of those moments.
It wasn't a big, grand gesture that caused this; it was quite the opposite. The four of them were sitting in the common room, in a rare state of quiet, as it was exam season and all of them were at least a little bit stressed.
Remus finished the essay he was writing on the kappa, a fascinating creature they had covered in Defence Against The Dark Arts. He looked around and started shuffling his mound of books and papers in search of his Care of Magical Creatures text, which was next on his list.
The text didn't seem to be anywhere in the pile, which had Remus growing increasingly frustrated. The full moon was next week, and he was already stressed about exams, and he felt like he was being stretched out on a rack, about to snap.
Sirius reached out and tapped his shoulder lightly, setting his quill down. Remus turned with a tense look, trying to quell his anger.
"Upstairs, on your bedside table. You took it out for a read a few nights ago and forgot to put it away. Grab some chocolate while you're up there, alright mate?" he said quietly.
Remus looked at him for a second, the tense look on his face slowly melting away. He nodded, and made to get up.
"Thanks, mate. Appreciate it." he murmured, walking around the common room and up the twisting staircase to their dorm. He had a strange feeling in his stomach that had come with Sirius's words, strangely enough. maybe another effect from the moon.
Remus found the book exactly where Sirius had said it would be, and smiled slightly as he picked it up. His good mood disappeared, however, when he remembered that he had eaten the chocolate from his stash the previous day and had yet to replace it.
He knelt down and opened the hollow book hidden within the others, hoping maybe one piece had escaped his notice, and found a mound of chocolate bars from Honeydukes, the good kind he could never afford.
He slowly took a bar out and turned it over, smiling as he did so. This had Sirius Black written all over it. He was so kind, really, and so thoughtful. He really was one of the best friends Remus had ever had.
Wait.
Why did that leave an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach? Sirius was one of his best friends. Ah, there it was again. Confused, Remus thought back on memories of Sirius, trying to remember if there was anything that could make him upset with him But no, it was memory after memory of Sirius comforting him, him and Sirius laughing, Sirius stretching in a patch of sunlight like a lanky cat, his eyes bright and beautiful, and -
Oh.
Oh.
Well. That happened.