Expectations and Desire

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/M
M/M
G
Expectations and Desire
Summary
I can do this. Count the steps Hermione. 1.. 2.. 3.. I count my steps, head down as I walk through the Hogwarts Express corridor to find a compartment. Free of people. Free of conversation. Free of the sympathised looks I had become so tired of.
Note
I love reading dreomione fics and thought I’d try posting my own!Trigger warning: contains mental health; depression, anxiety, eating disorders please don’t read if this upsets/triggers you!Slow burn, eventual sexual content!I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think, it would mean the world 😌
All Chapters Forward

Chapter 18

"Sweetheart, wake up" I was being nudged and I groaned in protest. "Sorry sweetheart but I just wanted to let you know me and Draco are going for a jog, we'll be back in a little bit, okay?" I groaned again turning over to go back to sleep. I heard faint laughing and went back to sleep.

 

I woke up and noticed Draco and Theo weren't here. Where were they? I searched the whole room to no avail. I got dressed and made my way downstairs to see if they had come down to get coffee. I was looking in the lobby and heard someone speak behind me.

 

"Looking for someone?" I turned and saw Sam stood behind me his hands in his pockets. I acknowledged him and continued looking around the room.

 

"Yes, my boyfriend." I said not paying much attention to him.

 

"Oh yeah I saw him leave with some other guy just under an hour ago. He had blonde hair." Why did they leave? I turned back to him.

 

"Oh right, well thanks, I'll just wait back upstairs for him I guess." I went to walk away but he moved back in front of me.

 

"So I thought you said you were here on pleasure?" He asked again. I furrowed my brow at him stepping back.

 

"I am... I'm here with my boyfriend? There's not any bushiness meetings to attend with that.." I said once again questioning him.

 

"I know those guys. They're from London as well. I've seen them about, been to their restaurant actually. Real nice place, but I swear I've seen them like, together.... as in together, together...?" I laughed slightly and nodded.

 

"Yep, you would be right. It's no secret?" It's also none of your business.

 

"Oh okay, well that's great of course, I was just saying, I mean I.. I wasn't sure if..."

 

"Sure if I knew?" I laughed and he nodded. "It's okay, I know. Don't worry." I laughed again and with that Theo and Draco came through the doors in joggers and t-shirts. Their hair slightly damp from sweat and their cheeks flushed. They looked good sweaty. They spotted me Draco frowning in our direction and they approached us, I spoke first to make it less awkward.

 

"Hey, you went on a jog?" Theo looked at me confused.

 

"I told you we were going on a jog? Remember? I woke you and said we'd be back?" I furrowed my brow trying to remember.

 

"Oh yes, sorry! I thought that was a dream.." I shook my head and looked to Draco who was eyeing Sam up and down. I rolled my eyes and introduced them. "Draco, Theo, this is Sam, the coffee translator guy" Sam stuck his hand out to Theo shaking it and Draco did the same, albeit reluctantly.

 

"Yes well, coffee translator guy is my nickname. Real nice to meet you both, I was just saying to Hermione that I've been to your restaurant. It's amazing. I thought I recognised you both" He admitted smiling.

 

"It is, thank you." Draco said.

 

I nudged Theo "He thought you were cheating on me with Draco" I said to Theo causing him to burst out with laughter. Draco smiled and Sam just looked awkward. "Sorry Sam, I should have said when we first met, I am here with my boyfriends." Sam nodded and laughed again.

 

"I can understand why you didn't. A lot of small minded people in this world. Well, anyway it was great to meet you both, I hope to see you again at the restaurant. Oh and if you are ever in need of any legal advice, feel free to give me a call. Hermione has my number." Draco tensed once again at that comment but he shook his hand again and Sam turned to leave. Draco looked at me raising his eyebrow and Theo was trying not to laugh.

 

"Get your ass up to that room" Draco said smirking making me turn and walk to the elevator. Once we got to the room Draco took me into a kiss and picked me up, my legs coming up to wrap around his waist. He pulled back and looked at me as I smiled down at him. "Yes, he is a very nice person, but that doesn't mean I like him." Theo laughed while he pulled his t-shirt over his head making it rustle his hair up some more. He chucked it on the floor and ran his hand through his hair.

 

"You got that right, that little comment he just had to make at the end about him giving you his number. Oof hes good."

 

"Oh stop it, he was just stating a fact!" I said laughing.

 

"No darling, he was bragging. He knew very well what he was doing and, if I'm honest I respect it a very small amount... again doesn't mean I like him. Have you thought much about what we discussed yesterday?" I raised my eyebrow at him.

 

"Why? Want me to follow these rules as quick as possible so you can punish me?" I mocked and he sighed sitting down on the bed while I was still wrapped around him so I was now sat over his lap. Theo sniggered behind me and made a snide comment about how ballsy I was.

 

"Yes. Honestly, you are so lucky this wasn't brought in sooner, I swear you'd have had more punishments than Theo by now" Draco admitted. Theo came to sit next to us leaning back to rest on his hands, his abs flexing as he did so.

 

"I have thought about it actually. In answer to your questions, in order in which you asked them mind you, I want to take it as far as my body can handle, I want pleasure from it, I want to do it because it intrigues me and I would like to try something new, and I will follow whatever rules you want within reason, in and outside of the bedroom." I shrugged and finished speaking as Draco was taking it all in thinking.

 

"Okay, that sounds fine. We just need to be clearer on the rules. I don't want to set you up for failure and I don't want there to be any grey areas." He said and I nodded.

 

"Well, I can of course follow the respect rule, and the jealousy rule like Theo, I will not purposefully make you jealous. Though I can't help it if a guy gives me his number" I said teasing him once more about Sam.

 

"Ah see now I thought that sweetheart, but apparently, taking it to be polite, is not acceptable I'm afraid." I rolled my eyes and Theo laughed again. "And that right there, I know you do it a lot, that's going to have to stop" I opened my mouth in a silent gasp and looked back at Draco.

 

"Respect darling, that, is not part of it" That was going to be hard. "Do it to Theo all you want, but not to me" He winked as Theo protested. "Oh and I have another rule but this one is slightly more complex. Do not, put yourself in harms way. Sounds simple yes but Theo has broken it once or twice." I looked to Theo for him to explain further.

 

"Ah yes. Me and Draco had a pretty big argument one night. I went out drinking to release my anger and to just kind of.. forget, and drank way too much, had no idea where I was who I was with. Luckily Draco was able to track me down, luckily nothing happened to me but it easily could have. There isn't really a punishment for that one though. That's more of a care.protector thing."

 

"So what did you do?"

 

"I took him home to look after him, he sobered up and I just talked to him. We spoke about a lot of stuff and I now better understand Theos reactions to certain things I said, why he reacted the way he did and so that made me better, in turn making us a better couple." That was the sweetest thing I ever heard.

 

"So apart from that one, if I break these rules I get...?" Draco shrugged and grinned again.

 

"Whatever I see fit to give you. We'll start off with the traffic light system, so I can get a feel for your limits like I did with Theo when we first started out with it. Oh, and just so you know, the rules change if we're out. Like in a public setting, an event, party etcetra. I have three levels and warnings I give. They seem meaningless to everyone else but to you, you'd know what they were"

 

"Oh yeah, so like when I flirted with that guy who put his hand on my leg, I got to strike three. Draco will give the warnings in order to tell you to stop doing whatever it is you're doing. The punishments get worse the more warnings you get. So first warning, Draco will bring his left hand up to his left cheek and pretend to scratch it with his pointer finger, signalling your first warning." Theo did the action as he was explaining. " Second warning level, he will bring his right hand to his left cheek and pretend to scratch with his first and middle finger. Third warning, he'll bring his fingers up to his forehead and rub across it. If he does that, you're leaving wherever you are right away, and you're in trouble." I nodded as Theo spoke trying to remember it all.

 

"Okay, I think I got it. Go easy on me for a few days though, I need get used to it" I asked Draco who shook his head grinning.

 

"Nope, you are going to just have to do it" I rolled my eyes and brought my hand up to my mouth trying not to laugh instantly realising I just broke the rule already. Draco dropped his head to the side raising his eyebrow.

 

"Okay, I promise it's out of my system. Never again" I said raising my hands in the air.

 

"Mm-hm" Was all I got in response. I kissed him on the head and jumped off of his lap, he stood up and pulled his t-shirt over his head. "Well with that sorted, I'm gonna go shower" Theo grinned and made his way to Draco kissing him and moving his hand down feeling him over his joggers making Draco moan out.

 

"I think I might join you" Theo flashed a smile and started to walk to the bathroom Draco smacking his ass on the way past.

 

"Care to join us darling?" I shook my head and stood to leave the room.

 

"No thanks, I think I'm going to write to Harry and Ron, try and set up a date to get together and speak with them about... well about everything." I put my head in my hands and sighed, Draco came and kissed me on my head.

 

"Alright, but don't stress too much though. If they care for you, they'll accept it, okay? Love you" He shouted over his shoulder as he shut the bathroom door. I made my way to the reception desk and got some paper and a pen and stayed down in the restaurant to write. I wrote out a letter to McGonagall explaining that I would not be returning to Hogwarts for the remainder of the year as Theo and Draco said they had already done it. Then I got to writing to Harry and Ron.

 

 

Dear Harry and Ron,

How is Auror training? I know we haven't spoken in a while. I wanted to write to you and see if you would both be free to meet me at my flat this weekend? Maybe Saturday or Sunday? I understand if you are busy, if you can't do then, let me know a date you can do and I'll make it work. I've got a lot to discuss with you both. I'll open the floo so you can come that way if it's easier. Don't go to Hogwarts, you won't find me there. I'll explain when I see you. I'm okay.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Yours,

Hermione.

 

 

That will do, right? There was no way I would be able to update them on anything else in writing. I felt my anxiety rising as I posted it, I hope they'd get back to me. I thought then how I was going to tell them. I have no idea how they will react. I let out a sigh and decided to go on a walk to clear my head. I walked over to the Eiffel Tower and sat beneath it. I sat and closed my eyes taking in a deep breathe through my nose and letting it out through my mouth. I was going to be okay. I could tell them. I hoped they'd see a difference in me, and I would be sure to let them know it's thanks to Theo and Draco that I am so different. So much better now.

 

The remainder of our time in Paris went quickly. We were in the car on the way back to the airfield to fly home. I didn't want to leave. It was so nice to be in our own little bubble of comfort and happiness. No work, no school, no stress. They promised me they'd bring me back though. We boarded the plane and Charlie and Anna were both there again, I greeted them as we boarded and we set off. Anna came over to me and handed me my drink.

 

"Thank you so much." She nodded and turned to leave. "Wait, sit down for a minute, you've been stood up for ages." I offered. She smiled at me and turned to Draco and Theo who were the other side of the plane their laptops on the table doing work. "Ugh, don't worry about them, watch. Guys, Anna is taking a break okay?" I shouted at them. Theo just waved his hand at me neither of them looking up from their laptops, I looked back to Anna. "See, they don't mind. Now sit down and relax." She laughed and sat down next to me.

 

"Did you enjoy your time in Paris?" She was so quiet and softly spoken, so sweet.

 

"I did, thank you it was amazing. Have you been?" She smiled and nodded.

 

"Yes, I went once with Charlie just under a year ago. Mr Fenwicks suggestion." I laughed at that. He really was such a romantic.

 

"So how did you two get together? I overheard Theo say it was because of him you're in a relationship?" She laughed again and nodded.

 

"Yes, well Charlie worked for them already, on the plane and I think he needed more help. I knew Mr Fenwick from a bar I used to tend there and he would always talk to me. I told him I really didn't enjoy the job there and he offered me one here doing this instead, so I took it. Then I met Charlie and well, it kind of went from there." Theo looked up from his laptop now turning his head over to us.

 

"And you have been in my debt ever since, right Anna?" He joked with a big smile. Anna laughed and nodded.

 

"Of course Mr Fenwick. Well I really should be.." Anna made to stand up but Theo shook his head.

 

"Absolutely not you stay there, Charlie can hold down the fort, right bud?" Theo shouted back to where Charlie was at the bar.

 

"Anything for you my love" He shouted back down at Anna.

 

"Charlie please, we are both taken men. If you're going to flirt with me have the decency to not do it in front of our respective partners" Theo shouted back. I heard Charlies faint laugh from the back of the plane.

 

"You can have him Charlie, though I should warn you, it's like wrangling a puppy sometimes" Draco shouted back not looking away from his laptop.

 

I shook my head and went back to talking with Anna. By the time the plane landed we had a date to meet up to go out for a drink. We got back to the flat and as much as I missed Paris, I kind of missed being here too.

 

"That was nice of you to speak to Anna, she doesn't know many people here, I think she keeps to herself so it'll be nice for her to have a friend." Theo said kissing me on the forehead.

 

"Well, I am a nice person" I said sarcastically "She was lovely, it'll be nice to have someone who is indifferent." I tried to take everything upstairs but was struggling to drag my suitcase up. Draco had his in one hand and walked up behind me and picked mine up taking it from my grasp carrying it up effortlessly. "Show off!" I shouted up after him. I followed him up going to the bedroom to get my bikini then went to the jacuzzi, turning it up to the highest temperature and climbing in. That felt good, I missed my scolding hot baths. Theo came in and poked his head around the door. "You're welcome to join me, if you can handle it that is" I said. He furrowed his brow and walked in further.

 

"Why couldn't I.." He stuck his hand in the water and pulled back out quickly. "Ah! Hermione that's boiling! Surely that isn't safe" I laughed and shook my head.

 

"Its a perfect temperature thank you very much" I relaxed into it more and hummed as I felt all my muscles relaxing. Draco came in then and stood next to Theo.

 

"Feel that water Draco, tell me that's not scolding hot?" Draco stuck his hand in and had the same reaction as Theo.

 

"Hermione, that's way too hot. Also you have a letter here, delivered by owl, I took it from the bathroom window. Stupid bird kept flying into the bigger windows trying to get through." I opened my eyes then and turned to dry my hands quickly. That was definitely Ron's owl that delivered it. I snatched the letter and opened it my eyes scanning it quickly.

 

 

Dear Hermione,

Thanks for your letter. Me and Harry would love to meet with you on Sunday at your place. I'm glad you wrote. I've been thinking a lot about us recently. I'm sorry for the way things ended, and I want to talk with you.

See you Sunday, we will be over around 1pm.
Love,

Ron

 

 

I internally cringed and shut my eyes. No Ron, that's not why I wanted to talk to you. Draco and Theo were both reading over my shoulder. Draco took the letter out of my hand and stared down at it.

 

"What did your first letter say?" Draco asked reading it over and over again.

 

"I said that I wanted to meet with them this weekend to talk and to not look for me at Hogwarts, I wouldn't be there. I didn't suggest anything of that nature, I promise." I explained looking between them both worrying my lip.

 

"Well it looks like Weasley got the wrong idea. You should have told them about us in the letter. Why didn't you?" I sighed and turned around looking at them.

 

"Because I didn't know how. I wanted to tell them in person, I thought it would be easier. Come on you can't seriously think I would even consider.."

 

"No, we don't Hermione" Theo said shaking his head. I let out a sigh of relief "But I have to say I did also assume you would tell them, or at least mention us in the letter." They both looked a little disappointed and hurt.

 

"I'm sorry, I just didn't think it was a good idea, if I told them then they might not meet up with me or do something stupid. You know how Ron acts on his feelings and impulses without thinking it through first. I just thought it would be better to do it this way." I explained hoping they would stop looking at me like they were right now. "Please stop looking at me like that, I'm really sorry, I am going to tell them on Sunday, I promise you. You're a part of my life now, and that isn't going to change. As far as Ron goes, wanting to 'talk' to me, I will shut that down before it can even start, okay?" I looked back and forth between them a bit before they both nodded and smiled. I let out a breathe I was holding and nodded.

 

"Now turn that crazy temperature down witch, I'm getting in and would very much like to keep my skin." They both climbed in and relaxed into the water.

 

"Oh Dray, I told Alessandra to meet us for 3pm at the club tomorrow." I rolled my eyes at the mention of her name.

 

"How riveting" I said sarcasm apparent in my voice. Theo laughed and Draco let out a sigh.

 

"Honestly Hermione she's..."

 

"Don't even think, about saying she's a nice girl Theodore Nott." I said pointing my finger at him. "I know exactly what she's like, I don't need to meet her to know what she wants from this meeting. Let me guess, she said this to you on the phone 'Oh Theo darling I can't wait to meet you, give Draco all my love and I'll see you both tomorrow, don't forget to get the champagne ready' and then she did a really girly high pitched laugh that would make cats nails on a chalk board sound heavenly." Theo frowned at me as if I was repeating what she had said word for word.

 

"A lot of that was accurate, except for the names. She didn't call us by our first names." I smiled with the amazing feeling of being able to boast about being right.

 

"This is ridiculous all she wants, is to invest. That is all." Draco said trying to make me feel better. It didn't. I snorted and Draco cut his eyes in my direction. Probably dancing very close to that line of the respect rule.

 

"Won't say another word." I said my hands in the air.

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