Chapter 10
6:38am. I rolled out of bed after having been led there for the past few hours wide awake. I was so nervous about starting classes again. Well, the classes aren’t the problem. But it’s the guaranteed staring, the whispers, the crowds of people. It’s going to be mentally exhausting. I hate big crowds, I feel like I can't trust anyone in them. Like there's a person waiting for the perfect time to attack. Everyone is a suspect, even though there is no reason for me to be so paranoid about being attacked, it still lingers in the back of my mind. I still can't walk through crowds without my wand by my side. I just feel more comforted with it being ready to use if I needed to. I rolled out of bed my body protesting to my movement, my muscles and bones tired from the lack of sleep and energy. I had a quick body shower and put my uniform on.
I reviewed my class schedule yesterday comparing them to Theos and Dracos, we had a lot similar classes with each other. I was glad I’d have at least one of them with me at each lesson, a friendly face to focus on if I needed it. It will be mainly 7th years in our classes as there aren't enough of the 8th years to fill a class. I put some makeup on to cover the never fading dark circles around my eyes. I might take some dreamless sleep tonight, I wasn't going to be able to stay awake in any of the classes at this rate. I was gathering all of my books together and packing them into my other bag without the extension charm and heard rapid knocks at the door. I opened it slowly, I wasn't expecting anyone this morning.
“Morning sweetheart, sleep well?” Theo was stood there in his uniform extending a mug of coffee out to me. He's my favourite person right now. I took it and tipped my head for him to come in.
“Oh, no worse than usual. Thanks for this, it's needed today” I said stifling a yawn. I took a sip of the coffee, it was warming and tasted like liquid energy.
“Oh, you didn’t have a nightmare did you? I knew you should have stayed with us last night. I can’t stand the thought of you suffering alone in here, please come..” I put my coffee down and grabbed at Theo’s wrists gently looking in his eyes. He was so frantic. It was so nice how much he worried, how much he cared about me.
“Theo, hey, calm down. I didn’t have a nightmare I promise. I just couldn’t sleep is all, honestly I’m fine.” I smiled and he relaxed and took my hands in his.
“Anything I can do to help?"
“It's nothing out of the ordinary, sleep is a privilege these days. And you have helped plenty by bringing me coffee.” I smiled again and he didn’t press further. “Also, I couldn’t have stayed with you last night anyway. I don’t think Draco would want me sleeping with you twice in a row” I jested and he laughed lightly.
“Who are you sleeping with twice in a row? It wasn’t me, we only did it once last night. Are you having an affair?” I looked over Theo’s shoulder to see Draco gasping behind him pretending to be shocked. My cheeks reddened and I let go of Theo’s hands and turned away to get my coffee trying to hide my blush. They had sex last night? Lucky Theo. Or is it lucky Draco? Well, it's UN-lucky me that's for sure.
“Oh Draco, I didn't want you to find out this way. We’ve been trying to hide it from you but we can’t hide it any longer. Me and Hermione are in love and running away together. I’m sorry.” Theo put his hand on Dracos shoulder and looked sad playing along. I know it was all a joke but oh, if only it wasn’t.
Draco laughed and looked toward me. “So this is why you befriended us, to steal my boyfriend? I’m actually quite impressed. Keep your enemies close right Granger?” He said winking at me. I rolled my eyes and shook my head at them trying to hide my never ending blush.
“Honestly you two are so dramatic. And that’s the most Slytherin thing I think I’ve ever heard you say!” I picked up my bag and walked pass them to make my way down stairs. They both followed behind me.
“Why thank you, I appreciate the compliment.” Ugh they were so incorrigible! I placed my mug on the counter and made my way out the portrait to the great hall, Theo and Draco close on my heels. There were a fair amount of people at breakfast but it wasn’t packed, it was still quite early. We walked to our table at the front of the room. I had a small bowl of porridge and some more coffee. I was going to need it today.
“You’re not going to eat anything more Hermione?” Draco asked looking slightly concerned.
“Oh, no I’m full.” I lied with a fake smile. He looked at me for a bit longer before nodding before handing me an apple. "Whats this for?"
“You may need a snack later. Or something to chuck at Theo’s head if he continues to get on your nerves. I find it's quite effective” He said smiling. I took it laughing and placed it in my bag whilst Theo argued what a delight he was and how he could never be an annoyance to anyone.
“Hermione! How was your weekend? I tried to speak with you Saturday but you went straight upstairs, I don’t think you heard me.” Neville said sliding onto the bench taking a seat next to me.
“Oh hey Neville, yeah, I’m, sorry about that. I had had a few drinks and was a bit, um, preoccupied.” I laughed nervously.
“Try a bit drunk. Sorry Longbottom, our fault. Though I promise she was well looked after.” Theo said chiming in.
Neville looked between Draco Theo and me a few times with a confused look. I groaned out load before turning toward him “Neville please, we got enough of those looks at the pub on Saturday. We’ve all become good friends, they're okay.” Theo and Draco beamed as I defended them. Neville smiled softly at me.
“Sorry I don't mean to give funny looks. I just wasn’t expecting it. That’s great Hermione.” He seemed to be sincere.
He looked back to Theo and Draco then and clasped his hands in front of him on the table, his face serious. “Right. Seeing as Harry isn’t here, I feel he’d want me to make sure that you know, if you hurt her in any way, or if your intentions are nothing but honorable, then he’d hunt you until the ends of the earth and give you a very miserable ending to your lives. And he’d most likely recruit everyone else who cares for Hermione, which by the way, is a lot of people, with him to help him do so. There won't be a corner of this world where you could hide” I had only heard Neville speak this seriously a handful of times. Draco and Theo were actually listening intensely which I was quite surprised about.
“Neville please, this really isn’t..” he interrupted me before I could tell him this was extremely unnecessary.
“That being said, if it’s alright with you both, I’m looking for a drama free, war free, stress free year at Hogwarts. So it’s in everyone’s best interest, that you just don’t make that the case yeah?” Neville finished and continued staring them down waiting for them to respond.
“You got it Longbottom. I’ll be sure to tell Harry next time I see him what a good job you did on his behalf too. It was actually quite sexy.” Theo joked and Neville laughed out loud probably out of awkwardness but it was still amusing to see him caught off guard. Draco rolled his eyes toward Theo shaking his head and stuck his hand out to Neville shaking it. Theo did the same. I wrapped my arm around Neville in a silent thank you and he pulled me into a hug.
“All joking aside though, it’s nice to know you. Officially.” Neville said with a grin. My eyes were tearing up and I sniffled wiping at my eyes. It made my heart feel so full. To see enemies become friends, it was so beautiful. Neville rubbed my arm comforting me and then released me from the hug. Having finished up eating, Neville Theo and Draco spent the next 45 minutes discussing Quidditch teams before it was time to head to our first class. I had double potions with Draco and Theo had herbology with Neville so we parted ways.
Walking through the corridors, they were packed with students hustling to get to their first lessons on time. I had my wand out by my side my instincts kicking in to look at every person in the room that I could. Every few steps I took I looked behind me out of habit, always seeing Draco close behind following me through the crowds. Knowing he was right behind me gave me a sense of comfort. My breathing got more and more rapid with panic as I continued walking through. Calm down Hermione, it’s just students, in a school. You’re safe. Breathe. I gripped my wand harder and managed to get to the end where the crowds cleared. I turned right to go down the stairs, it was a lot less busy and I took a deep breathe. Draco put his hand on my back and I jumped a little turning to him.
“It’s okay, I get it too sometimes." I nodded gratefully to Draco for the comforting words.
We got to the potions lab and were the first ones there so took a seat on a table at the back by the door. Another habit of mine, always know your exits and be as close to them as possible. The rest of the students filed in and took their seats. Most stared or whispered but we did our best to ignore it. Draco only had to give them one look before they looked away from us scared. I just focused on the table fiddling with my book.
“Good morning class, I hope you’re all well rested after your summer break” Professor Slughorn boomed walking down to the front of the class. Oh yeah very well rested. What a thing to say. Me and Draco both scoffed at the same time and I turned to him, we exchanged a look of agreement before turning back to Slughorn.
“Today we will be learning about Amortentia. 10 points to the student who can tell me about it?” He looked to me like he was expecting me to shout out the answer. The old me, would have gladly beat the rest of these students to it. Thriving off the satisfaction of being right and receiving the praise with a beaming smile. But not anymore. The new me wanted to do all she could to not be the center of attention. I avoided his gaze and he looked slightly disappointed, there are thos stupid expectations yet again. What do I have to do to make people realise, I am not who I used to be. He looked around some more and chose someone with their hand raised to answer instead.
“It’s a strong love potion sir. It’s rumored to smell differently to each person according to what attracts them.”
“Excellent Maddon, 10 points to Ravenclaw. Today you will be attempting to brew this love potion in your pairs. Recipe can be found on page 18 of your books, you have one and half hours. Hop to it!” The room filled with sound of chairs scraping along the floor and students talking and walking around gathering up the ingredients to brew the potion. Draco set off to get our ingredients whilst I organised the cauldron and opened my book to the recipe.
“So you're not well rested after your summer?” I said to Draco who was placing the vials of ingredients on the table. He laughed and shook his head.
"I know, what was all that about? Ridicuous statement to make" He rolled his eyes and I smirked reading the recipe.
“From memory this is pretty easy to brew. I remember doing it back in 6th year. Theo was bugging me for ages to tell him what it smelled like to me, so I wound him up by telling him I smelt Blaises aftershave. He didn't speak to me for the rest of the lesson" Draco recounted laughing at the memory.
"Now that's just cruel" I said laughing with him. "What did it actually smell like to you?" I wondered how Theo smelt to Draco. To me he smelled musky, but not the gross kind, the kind of musk that was his natural scent, it was slightly sweet, like violets, with a hint of cigarette smoke, but I know it could smell different from person to person. Draco smiled as he spoke of what he smelled.
"It smelled like.. a lazy Sunday morning. We would usually spend our Sundays together lazing around in bed when we could. I could smell his natural scent, the kind his pillow smells of when he wakes up in the morning. I could smell the brand of cigarettes he smokes. I could also smell lav...." He trailed off shaking out of the memory. What was he going to say before he stopped himself? "Never mind, but yeah. That's what it smelled like to me. Later that night I actually told him what it smelled like and I don't think I had ever seen him so smug." He said smiling slightly.
"What's the next step?" He said changing the subject. We brewed the potion with half an hour to spare, so we were just sat waiting for Slughorn to mark us on our work. As I was sat next to it I could smell Theo and Draco, all mixed together in an amazing whirl around me. Citrus, violet, musky, cigarette smoke, cologne. I wanted to bottle it up and take it with me everywhere I went. I wanted to wear it as a perfume. I was completely captivated by it. Before I could go any deeper into my trance, Draco placed the lid on and I was snapped out of it. I blushed slightly looking away from him and sat back down on my chair, if it had been any longer I think I would have climbed atop the table.
He was smirking at me as I sat back down my cheeks heating. "Care to share?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. Absolutely not. Professor Slughorn came over then and I had never been happier for an interruption in my entire life. He gave us an Outstanding and said we could leave after we cleared up our station. There was still an hour left of the class because it was a double period, but that was fine by me. We cleared away everything and left.
"Well we've got another hour to kill before next period. Want to go for a walk?" Draco offered as we made our way up the stairs.
"Sure, why not, got nothing better to do" I shrugged. We made our way outside and walked down to the lake. It was sunny and so quiet and still. Peaceful. We sat down on the grass after I cast a drying charm, it was still a bit dewy from the crisp morning air. I pulled the sleeves of my jumper over my hands to warm them up, and pulled my knees in hugging my arms around them staring out at the lake. The sun was reflecting off of it making it look like there were stars in the water. I noticed the trees in the distance, the colour of the leaves a mixture of light green and darker green, turning for the autumn months.
"I love this time of year. When the leaves start to change colour. It's so relaxing." I said without really realising I was talking out loud. There was a small pause before Draco responded.
"Yeah it is. I must say though Winter is probably my favourite season. Not because of Christmas, I never really cared for it. But I love when the snow comes. The white, perfect blanket that settles over everything. Every year, whenever the first snow comes, I wake early and be sure to place my footsteps in it first. No one else has walked over it yet, just me. It makes me feel like I still have a mark to leave behind in this world. Like, my story isn't quite finished. There's still time to right the wrongs I have done. Still time to do what I want to do, not what other people expect of me, or want me to do." He was being so open with me. He spoke like a poet, everything to Draco, had meaning.
I huffed a small laugh then, realising how similar we really were. "The snow reminds me of the Forest of Dean. I went there with my parents every Christmas. The lake would be frozen, the trees and grass all covered in white, glistening with the morning sun. Not another colour for miles. And I would do exactly what you just said. My Dad, he would always let me step outside first. He'd say, let your footsteps leave a mark Hermione, never a stain, and walk through life with kindness. I think it was a quote from some cheesy book or film or something. But it always stuck with me. I never understood what it meant, but then I grew up. I kind of wish it was still a mystery to me though. Wish I didn't know what he meant." My voice trailed off now, quiet. My heart felt like it was in my stomach. He would never say those words to me again.
"Will you go again with them this year do you think?" Draco asked. Of course he was going to ask. A single tear made its way down my cheek. I sniffed wiping it away quickly. He was looking at me confused. I shook my head.
"Oh, no, they um, they don't know I.. Before we left, to search for the Horcruxes, I removed myself from their memories. I had.. had to keep them safe" Another tear fell and I wiped it quickly away again. I didn't want to cry.
"Hermione.." Draco started, but I couldn't have this conversation. Not now. It hurt too much. I shook my head and looked at him.
"It's okay, you're sorry, I know. Maybe one day, if I ever have children, I'll take them there. I'll let them step in the snow first. I'll tell them the same thing he told me." He nodded and took one of my hands in his squeezing it.
"You will." We sat for a few minutes both staring out at the lake. I cleared my throat and stretched my legs and arms in front of me taking a deep breathe and looking up at the sky, trying to center my thoughts. Just then, Theo plopped down on my other side, he must have seen us from the herbology greenhouse.
"What'd I miss?" Theo said whilst biting into an apple. I hesitated, I didn't want to bring it up again.
"Nothing really, just chatting. Ready to head to DADA?" Draco asked changing the subject. We all had DADA next. I can't believe we have to continue to take it, I think I have had my fair share of dark magic to last a life time. The school argues that it's important if you want to pursue a career within the ministry. It's a mandatory thing to have on your record before they even consider hiring you.
"I'm fancying ditching it myself. I can't believe we have to continue to take that lesson. I think we are all fairly up to speed with the Dark Arts are we not? Plus it's not exactly a requirement for my chosen career path" Theo said like he had just read my thoughts his voice full of disdain.
As much as I would of liked to skive as well, I wanted to have it on my record. I wanted to keep my options open. I know that being 'the Golden Girl' I was a shoe in for a job there, but I didn't want to be handed anything. I wanted to earn it. Be treated the same as anyone else.
"We will not ditch Theodore, you need to attend all your lessons and I will make sure you do. Don't you want to keep your options open? Be able to have a back up? Now come on we'll all suffer together." I said pulling him up from the grass.
"Uh-oh, she full named you, you're in trouble" Draco said standing up. I rolled my eyes and Theo started protesting and didn't stop the whole way there trying to convince me to not go.
"Theo come on, you're making me feel bad. I'll make it up to you if you come with us?" I said in hopes he would stop complaining. I know that wasn't his intention, but I did feel bad. Making him sit through it, though I know how he feels.
"Make it up to me how?" He questioned. Sexual favors is what I wish I could say. Bit inappropriate though.
"Just think about it and add it to my never ending list of favors I seem to owe you now. I think we're on what? Number three?" I said laughing.
"Well this is a pretty big ask sweetheart so I'm doubling it. It's now six. Oh just you wait until I claim all of these back. That's going to be a good day" He said staring off into the distance. I wish I knew what he was thinking of.
"Fine, deal now get in there!" I said pushing him in to go first. Draco leaned down whispering in my ear then before I walked into the classroom.
"You just made a deal with the devil darling." He said lowly, his breathe tickling my ear. What was that supposed to mean? Was that a good thing or a bad thing? He was smirking. Also, darling? Another nickname? I felt my arousal instantly in my knickers. These two were going to give me whiplash at this rate. I took a seat next to Theo and Draco sat next to me, again sat at the back near the exit. We would have a new teacher this year. The remainder of students filed in and the Professor came in last shutting the door behind him.
"Hello class, my name is Professor Tunstall, I will be your new Defense against the dark arts teacher." He walked up toward the front of the classroom. He had short dark blonde hair and was tall and skinny. He didn't look that old, maybe late 30's and had a scar along his right cheek.
"A little bit about me, I used to be an auror, was one for 10 years. I retired a couple of years ago after the Mrs fell pregnant with my beautiful baby. Thought it was a too dangerous line of work for me to continue, so here I am. I have been told that we are to cover a number of things this semester, including the unforgivable curses "Theo tensed at my side and grasped my hand, squeezing hard. I squeezed it back smoothing my thumb over the back of his hand in hopes to give him a sense of comfort. Professor Tunstall continued. "but knowing that many of you are already, lets just say, well versed with that area, I am happy to excuse you if you feel at any point it is becoming uncomfortable for you to sit through."
A boy a few tables down turned around looking at our table. "Well versed? Well I just so happen to know of a couple of people in this very room who had no issue using them on innocent people, right Malfoy, Nott? Care to give us a demonstration huh? Show us how good you really are? Death Eater scum. I can't believe the school let you back in." He spat his words viciously. I think his name was something Preece, he was in Hufflepuff. Theo looked down at the table his face twisted, and Draco clenched his fists, sneering at the boy.
"Oh, I'd be happy to demonstrate Preece, as long as you don't mind being the test subject?" Draco bit back taunting the boy. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. I put my hand over Dracos clenched fist and he looked at me, his face instantly softening. I shook my head, trying to communicate the best I could that he was better than this. He wasn't what they said he was.
"Your name, please?" The professor asked the boy.
"Andy Preece sir." He responded confidently. The teacher scribbled something down on a piece of parchment before charming it then handed it to him.
"Mr Preece, if you would be so kind as to take yourself along with this note to the Headmistresses office. Don't try and destroy or read the note on your way either unless you want to get a nasty surprise." Preece was opening and closing his mouth, shocked that he was being punished for his actions.
"But.. but they're death eaters! They should be the ones being punished not me! I'm just speaking what everyone else here is thinking!" He argued standing up to leave the classroom. It took everything in me not to hex him into next week. Draco was almost shaking now and Theo was just staring down at the table looking broken.
"A man who views the world as black and white as you do, will never understand the true beauty of colour, and I feel sad for you Mr Preece. Now off you go." The teacher responded with a finality. The boy left the classroom cutting his eyes in our direction before leaving. I stared back at him my eyes not leaving his until he had left. Draco stood up his chair falling over as he did so and walked from the classroom too. I looked toward the teacher and nodded toward him before exiting to leave, Theo following close behind.