Chapter 7
I opened my eyes and instantly felt the pounding in my head. My mouth felt dry as a bone and I felt weak, all my muscles aching. I looked around without moving my head. Where the hell was I? I heard faint snoring and turned my head to my right and saw Theo, fast asleep atop the duvet. He was topless but had his pajama bottoms on. I was underneath the duvet and slowly and as quietly as I could pulled it back and sat up, cringing at the pain in my head. Fuck that hurt. Why did people do this more than once if this is how it felt after every time?
I slid my legs over the edge of the bed and placed my feet on the floor putting my head in my hands for a moment. Dizzy. So very dizzy. Why did I sleep here? I remember dancing and then lying down. I must have fallen asleep, how embarrassing! I dragged my hands over my face and noticed then right by my feet, Draco was led on the floor his jacket under his head on his side facing the wall away from the bed. Why didn’t he just go back to his own room to sleep? He could have woke me up and kicked me out. I felt absolutely mortified. I stood up slowly and side shuffled down the edge of the bed trying not to touch or fall onto him. I grabbed my jumper off the floor on my way to the door, and exited the room as quietly as I possibly could. I was gasping for some water so made my way downstairs to get a glass. What time was it? 4:27am. Ugh.
I was sat on the sofa after putting a fire on with my glass of water trying to remember all the events of the night before. I remembered most of it but some bits were a little hazy. I can’t believe how much my head was pounding. With every beat of my heart I felt it in my head. I’m never drinking again if this is how it makes you feel.
“How you doing there Granger?” I jumped a bit my hand coming to my head when I did. Ow. I turned to see Draco at the bottom of the stairs a small smirk on his face, he was definitely amused by my hangover. I just groaned in response I couldn’t find the energy to talk. He crossed the room over to me hand outstretched with a small vial in his hand.
“Here, take this. I promise it helps.” I took the small item from his hands and read the label. Pepper-up potion. I’ll try anything at this point. I popped the stopper from the vial and downed it in one followed by some water. My dizziness stopped straight away and my headache eased, it was still there but no where near as bad. If I could have jumped up and hugged him I would have.
“Mmm, thank you so much.” he nodded and took a seat next to me.
“I thought you’d might need some. You were completely smashed last night. Looked like you had fun though?” I nodded. I did have fun.
“I did yes, but I’m having trouble remembering what it was that made it so much fun. Does it feel like this every time you drink?” He let out a chuckle and gave me a sympathetic smile.
“No, just when you drink three quarters of a bottle of firewhisky.” I could tell he was trying his best not to laugh. I really drank that much?
“I’m so sorry you had to sleep on the floor, you should have woke me and kicked me out. I wouldn’t have stayed if I realised, honestly.” I was looking around trying not to meet his eyes.
“It’s fine really, you looked like you were sleeping well and I didn’t want to wake you.” He had a point. I slept amazing. No night terrors, no dreams, no disturbances. It was nice. I rarely get that luxury nowadays. Why did he stay and sleep on the floor though. Have I been too obvious in my attraction to Theo? Did he think he couldn’t trust me with him on our own?
“Why didn’t you just go back to your room and sleep in your bed? That couldn’t have been comfortable on the floor?” Again I was trying to look anywhere but his face. Why was I so awkward!?
“I don’t sleep much anyway so the floor wasn’t an issue. I didn’t leave because.. well I um.. let’s just say Theo sometimes needs someone in the night.” I furrowed my brow but didn’t press for further information. He clearly didn’t want to elaborate anymore so I didn’t ask questions. I put my water down and grabbed my jumper from the arm of the chair to pull it over my head. As I did so I noticed Draco’s line of vision fixated on my scar. Mudblood stuck out like a sore thumb taunting him in the light. I covered it quickly with my jumper and looked apologetic toward him. It was ugly to look at and held bad memories for both of us.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to have it out” The tension in the air was thick and suffocating. He looked like he was in pain. He shook his head slowly and looked at me in my eyes.
“No. Don’t ever apologise to me. Never. You have nothing to apologise for… I..” he stopped talking and huffed out a frustrated sigh. He ran his hand through his hair and stared into the fire. I continued to look at him, his expression still looked pained. I said nothing waiting for him to talk again. I don’t know how long we sat for in silence, but I was desperate for him to continue talking. Finally, my wish was granted.
“Theo really likes you you know? He has wanted to befriend you for ages but never found the right time or place to do it. He was so happy when you agreed to try and be friends. Even more so when you agreed to come out with us yesterday. He wants to make up for all he's done before. He didn't have any choice you know?” He took a deep breath, where was he going with this? He didn’t’t have any choice either, I wanted to say.
“That day on the train, when you saw us arguing. He wanted me to speak with you. Well no, we both wanted to speak with you, but he was pushing me to do it because he knew I needed it more than him. Plus I’d never have done it of my own accord. I kept getting up to go and find you and then ended up backing out. I thought you’d never give me the time of day, and I wouldn't have blamed you if that was the case. But I wanted to wait as long as I could before trying because the fear of you reacting negatively toward me was too much. I wanted to pretend for as long as I could that you would consider talking to me.” He was still staring into the fire, and I was still staring at his face, hanging on every word he said. My heart was beating in my ears. He spoke so quietly now.
“That day. At the manor. When Bellatrix… when she..” he was tripping over his words.
“When she tortured me” my voice was so small I wondered if he even heard me. He did. He winced and looked at me then. I wanted to take his pain away. Wanted to hug him, tell him it wasn’t his fault.
“Not one day will go by, when I don’t wish I had done things differently that day. I will never forgive myself for allowing that to happen to you. I was such a coward. I should have stopped her. I should’ve helped you. I’m so sorry.” The words were hanging between us a while then.
I wanted to say he couldn’t have changed it, he couldn’t have stopped her. He couldn’t have done a thing to prevent that from happening without risking his own life. I wanted to scream we all had to do what we had to to survive. But I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t find my voice. The tears in my eyes were threatening to spill over onto my cheeks. More time passed and I still couldn’t find the will to speak.
“You don’t have to forgive me. I won’t blame you if you didn’t. But I just needed you to know. If I could do it all over again, I would do it so differently. As long as you know”
I stretched my hand out and placed it over his. He jumped initially not expecting it, then looked back down at my hand and squeezed it. My tears were falling now, I could taste the saltiness of them as they reached my lips. Draco slowly brought his other hand up and wiped one tear away with his thumb, then pulled my bottom lip down before releasing it and keeping his hand on my face. I leaned into his touch closing my eyes, his hands were soft but I could feel the calluses on them from his flying. That to me, was Draco. Soft overall, yet rough in places where he needed to be, and those rough places were out of a passion of his. He would fight to the ends of the earth for you if he loved you.
“I have never been as good as Theo at showing my emotions. But I will spend every day, trying to gain your trust. Gain your friendship, and protect you for as long as you will have me in your life. I promise.”
This meant more to me than he could probably have imagined. He let out a low laugh and I looked at him confused.
“Manus in mano. Something tells me McGonagall didn’t choose that password on a whim.” He knew what it meant.
“What does it mean?” I said barely a whisper.
“Hand in hand.”
All of a sudden Draco ripped his hand from mine standing quickly before standing deadly still, listening out for something, a concerned look on his face. I stilled wondering what had just happened, but I heard it then. A blood curdling shout coming from upstairs. Theo.