Chapter 3
Unlike what most people thought Sirius Orion Black actually enjoyed reading, he remembered very vividly when it started. Stumbling around the family Black library trying to dodge the curses all the books sent out towards him whenever he caught them off guard. Until he came across the book that started it all, a book on the stars and the myths attached to them. Sirius read about all of the heroes and was in awe of all the adventures they experienced. He read about Orion, a giant huntsman so charming and handsome that he almost shook Artemis’ infamous voe of maidenship (He really enjoyed that one). His love for reading grew as he aged. He went from reading Regulus bedtime stories to huddling in a dark corner of the library, reading novels that spun either ballads or tragedies while Moony studied for his classes. Sirius guessed that his love for reading never felt more fulfilling than when he was reading with the people he loved. It was one of the things about Sirius that never hurt him, never hurt the people around him. Something good, Something safe.
That changed a year after his graduation, sitting right next to Remus in the kitchen they share. They were both drinking their morning tea as they got ready to read the morning Daily Prophet, it was a tradition that filled they’re their hearts with warm content. It truly caught Sirius off guard, he was so content while he basked not only in his freedom but the newfound life he was building with the love of his life until his eyes ran across the headline.
“PRUEBLOODED HEIRS MISSING”
Now that caught his attention, so Sirius did what felt like instinct, he read. And then he was shocked, horrified but he kept on bloody reading because his baby fucking brother was gone and not only that he didn’t even make it to his bloody graduation. The room suddenly felt like it got hit with an incendio, his vision went red, and he felt a pain erupt from his hand as the cup that previously filled him with warmth exploded into shards of glass.
“Sirius?” Remus questioned, “Sirius what's wrong”. Remus stood up from his chair, his voice dropped a margin as he went down the tone he used whenever he needed to comfort someone. He moved his hand to place on Sirius’ shoulder before it was roughly slapped away
“Don’t bloody touch me,” Sirius’s voice shook the table, it normally would’ve been strong and confident but it cracked as he yelled “Get the hell away from me”
“Sirius, please tell me what’s wrong” Remus’s voice was calm even though some rational part of Sirius’ mind saw the fear in his eyes. Not of Sirius but rather a fear of what set him off. After knowing Sirius for almost all of his childhood and even more so intimately as of their last few years at Hogwarts, Remus was rather familiar with Sirius’ uncontrollable fits of rage. At times it was exhausting to deal with but it was a part of Sirius and Remus was utterly infatuated with every single part of that man, so he evolved and learned how to help manage the frequent hurricanes. Sirius grabbed the paper and shook it in front of Remus’s face
“This, This is what’s fucking wrong”. Then Remus understood. If you asked Sirius Black. his little brother Regulus was a coward. Someone who stayed in that godforsaken house out of fear of not pleasing their dearest mother and father for once in his miserable life. If you let Sirius Black go on he would tell you that Regulus was selfish, that he prioritized the money and power of the Black family name over freedom and a potentially happy life with his brother. Sirius would then rant for hours on end about how much he hated his younger brother but deep down the marauders knew he didn't. Sirius knew he didn’t. He was full of anger from being abandoned, and along with that anger came fear. Remus knew Sirius would rather die than admit this but under all that faux hatred was a poorly built shield. Ready to protect himself from the hatred and rejection his once sweet little Reggie held towards him.
“Sirius, Starlight. I need you to take a deep breath for me,” Remus assured him as he softly took the newspaper and placed it on the table. He inspected Sirius’ injured hand calmly “You and I are gonna figure this out, but we both need to think rationally in order to do that.” after making sure no shards were still imbedded in Sirius’ hand, Remus finally allowed his eyes to trail up to Sirius. Oh, poor Sirius, he was still shaking but Remus saw the tears streaming down his face while his striking grey eyes flooded. “Breath. Try to stay calm, I’ll floo James and Pete. They’ll help us.” He stayed still and waited until Sirius nodded in confirmation before slowly standing up and walking as fast as he could to their fireplace. None of them slept that night, or the night after. The four stayed together and researched as much as they could until a week later when Lily came to collect James and talk them out of it.
After that Sirius’ life was never the same, years went by with no news on Regulus and it felt like he had a constant hole in his chest.
At that point he was waiting for anything, he would accept anything, even a confirmation of death.