Chapter Twenty-Five
James was awake when Harry left the bedroom while pulling on one of Remus’ sweaters still in his closet from the colder days back in April. His dad was sitting in a chair drinking his morning tea while looking over the Daily Prophet.
“Anything interesting?” Harry asked walking to the couch to make his own tea after having learned to expect the kettle and everything to be at the coffee table if someone was already awake.
“Nothing as interesting as how last night went.” James said, folding the prophet and setting it aside to give his full attention to Harry with a little self satisfied smirk.
“It was lame and boring and I had a horrible time because my wolf was miserable and angry and it felt like I was cheating. Satisfied?” Harry made his tea just the way he liked it then looked towards James.
“No, not anymore.” James pouted, “Are you okay? You know Remus wasn’t like….rejecting you or anything right?”
“I know that.” Harry sighed as he sat on the couch staring down at his steaming mug, “But that doesn’t mean I can’t be a little hurt or angry about it.”
“True.” James nodded, “So the hang out with your ex wasn’t fun at all?”
Harry shrugged, “We were friends before we dated and we stayed in touch after we broke up so yeah sure it was fun to see him again and spend time with him. I don’t have many friends after all, I don’t want many friends. But at the end of the day…it’s different for mates…no matter what my intention was or wasn’t my wolf and the mate bond still knew I was…entertaining someone who wasn’t my mates who had interest and it wasn’t happy. It’s hard to describe.”
“Frankie and Remus had a talk after Sirius left, they were alone for a while and when they came back Remus seemed…withdrawn.” James said
“Frankie doesn’t like that I’m mated to a Packless.”
“Packless?” James asked
“Um…a term used by other werewolves. It’s a werewolf who doesn’t have a werewolf pack. It's sometimes used as an insult, but it’s not supposed to be. Not really.”
“We’re his pack.”
“And you’re a great one, but you’re not werewolves. Remus was raised to hate himself no matter how much he wants to deny that, he wasn’t raised by other Werewolves. He didn’t learn the things he needed to. I just…there’s just some things you can’t learn by reading books no matter how many you buy. Even Papa, no matter how much he knows about werewolves and lycans, he doesn’t understand everything. He tries and the things he doesn’t understand he trusts Frankie to understand and help me the best way he can, but again he’s an Alpha so he doesn’t completely understand the Omega side of things either.”
“You don’t have an Omega you can go to?” James asked, moving so he could sit beside Harry on the couch.
“I do, but they're female. Male omegas are pretty rare. There’s not a lot of us out there and the few that are, aren’t always Werewolves, some can be Veela or Vampires. To find a male Omega Lycan is against a lot of odds. Don’t get me wrong I’m not the only one in existence I’m sure, but Lycans in general are heavily protected amongst Werewolf packs, Omegas even more so, and male omegas especially. No one outside of the Pack knows there’s a male omega Lycan in Britain Well Matteo knows of course, but Papa assured me he made him take an unbreakable vow when they ended things.”
“I didn’t realize.” James said softly.
“No, I know. You’re busy with papers and classes and full moons and being a dad. Papa says you two talk about it sometimes. I know you’re trying, you just have a busy schedule right now.” Harry reassured him, he was still looking down at his mug, the tea having cooled by now.
“I shouldn’t be too busy to learn about my son.” James said, “Especially my son whom I’ve looked for for the past fifteen years. All I’ve ever wanted was to know every little detail about you.”
“And you will.” Harry said, bumping his side into James’, “But you have fifteen years of little details to learn, it’s going to take some time and honestly for the past three months I’ve yelled at you more times than I’ve shared little details anyway.” James laughed, nodding.
“That’s definitely true.” James looked at his son, studied him and his body language for a moment before he spoke again, “Do you want to talk about it? With me or Frankie or Henry? They’re just a firecall away.”
“I don’t know.” Harry said, glancing back at the doors behind him, he was sure Remus would wake up soon if he wasn’t awake already, “I just- I don’t know.” Harry sighed as he laid his head on James’ shoulder.
“Well I and the others are here to listen if you ever need it.” James told him as he wrapped his arm around Harry’s shoulders holding him to his side, “They may be my best friends, but you are my son and therefore I have your back. Even if you’re in the wrong.” Harry laughed, but didn’t move from James’ hold and instead just turned more deeply into it.
They stayed like that, Harry curled into James’ side as they leaned back on the couch together letting the morning silence fill the room around them. Minutes passed in silence, Harry didn’t know how many, but to their surprise it was Sirius who woke up next. He seemed tired still, remaining silent and slightly slouched as he made his tea then sat on Harry’s other side only to lay his head on Harry’s back and promptly fall back to sleep. Eventually Remus stepped out of his room and came around the couch to make his tea.
“James can you…-”
“Right..of course. I’ll just be in my office then.” James said standing up quickly, by doing so he dislodged Harry, who in turn, dislodged Sirius waking up his sleeping mate.
Remus waited until James had left before he sat on the couch where James had just left. Harry casted a strong privacy ward around the couch just in case Cillian woke up and left the room.
“Cillian was too drunk to apparate last night.” Harry explained, “He’s in Charlie’s room.”
“I’m sure Sirius told you a few things about what happened after you left.” Remus said, glancing at the man behind Harry who remained silent and staring stubbornly at the wall giving his husband the silent treatment.
“Not really. He just told me he was mad at you and we went to sleep in my room, I got the feeling he didn’t want to be in yours.” Remus’ lips twitched.
“You would probably be right.” Remus said, “I didn’t reject you, I hope you know that. I want to make that clear.”
“I know.” Harry said feeling Sirius pressed his side against Harry’s back either to comfort Harry or himself he didn’t know.
“Good. When I introduced us as family friends it was never my intention to hurt you or put Sirius in an uncomfortable position. I just- I didn’t know how else to introduce us that didn’t raise questions.”
“Our relationship is going to raise questions regardless.” Harry said, confused.
“Right, but I’m trying to keep the questions down to a minimum. As little as possible. None if I had it my way.” Harry tilted his head as he heard the spoken and unspoken words.
“Wait…” Harry said standing up and round the coffee table before looking at Remus, “You don’t intend to let anyone know I’m part of your relationship?” He asked
“Do you know what people would say? About you? About us? About everything?” Remus asked
“So….what? Do we pretend everything is perfectly normal next year? Should I call you Uncle Moony from now on when around the student body? Does that extend inside the bedroom too or just outside of it where the public can hear me?”
“Of course not-”
“Oh I get it. You would rather I just say it around the students so Lavender Brown still thinks she has a shot to become the slab of meat to the professor sandwich she’s picturing in her head.” Harry’s voice was rising by the end of it, probably shouting, but he couldn’t find the energy to care about that.
“I would actually rather you didn’t say it ever again if you don’t mind.” Remus said standing up from the couch.
“Oh but what would the public think, Uncle Moony? How they will whisper about the fact I, your family friend’s son, does not dare speak the term of endearment his brother and sister does. Think of the scandal. The outrage. Why a riot will surely form in a matter of days I’m sure of it.”
“Do not be so condescendingly sarcastic, Harry. I was just-”
“You were just what?” Harry asked, “Just finding a solution to something that only you saw a problem in?”
“What would you like me to do, Harry? Tell the world I’m a werewolf?”
“Of fucking course not!” Harry shouted, grabbing a throw pillow and throwing it at Remus, “I’m not asking you to out yourself as a werewolf! I’m not asking for you to pick me over your job! But I expected the man who plans to take my virginity one day to call me more than just a fucking family friend!-” Harry threw another pillow
“-I expected the man who plans to mark me one day to not keep me a dirty secret-” Harry threw a random wolf trinket from the fireplace mantle..
“-like some sort of side piece-” He threw a shoe, “-that he and his husband share at night! I deserve that much you fucking coward!” Harry threw the other shoe, his eyes glaring through the tears at Remus who was staring at him wide-eyed as he held the wolf trinket thing in his hand.
Sirius was still sitting on the couch, but his eyes were wide too, as he stared at Harry. At first Harry thought it was because Harry actually threw things at them, but then he could feel his magic swirling around the room uncontrollably. He could feel its energy, how wild and powerful it was and how suffocating it felt when Harry took a deep breath.
“Harry…” Remus spoke carefully like he was speaking to a frightened animal and in a way he was, “I was trying to protect you-”
“From what? The teenagers? The whispers? The gossip? The media? The Prophet? I don’t care!” Harry stressed, “I’ve never cared about that! I don’t care if Lavender and the Indian twins think I’m a homewrecker or I stole their chance to see Sirius shirtless! I don’t care if the Prophet thinks I’m just arm candy or a young hole for your weird kinks! I don’t care! I only ever cared about what you thought!”
The silence that followed was loud. So fucking loud. Harry took another deep breath, this one harder to take as he looked away from them.
“I um…I’m going to go.” Harry said, “Just tell Cillian I went home when he wakes up.”
“Harry-”
“I think we need space from each other for a little bit. I’ll talk to you later.” Harry turned and hurried out of the room before any more could be said.
Harry used the walk to the gates to try to calm his magic down, but by the time he was apparated inside his bedroom at his childhood home his magic was still wild and touching everything it could. The air around him still felt heavy, but not as suffocating as it did when looking at his mates.
“Harry?”
His Papa’s voice came from downstairs, he heard the footsteps as they ran up the stairs then he had a two second warning in the form of his hurried, “I’m coming in” before his bedroom door opened.
“Harry? What’s wrong?” Harry shook his head as he made his way to his bed, “Is this about Remus?”
“I’m fine Papa.”
“You most certainly are not fine.” His Papa said sitting beside him on the mattress, “What did the idiot Packless Alpha say?”
“Nothing and A lot at the same time.” Harry laid down on his bed turning to face the wall, “I don’t want to see anyone right now.”
“Okay, but if you need anything-”
“I know Papa.” His Papa nodded then after a moment of hesitation he stood up and left his room, closing the door behind him.
Finally alone with his thoughts Harry lets the thought that maybe he overreacted linger for a minute before he pushes it away. He most certainly did not overreact. He had every reason to yell at Remus today.
*******
Sirius took a deep breath as the air around them lightened as soon as the door closed behind Harry. He stood up and took a few shaky steps away from Remus feeling a little lightheaded from the unstable magic that had filled the room.
“I have dealt with a lot being with you and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.” Sirius said, turning to look at his husband, “I would fight with every self-loathing thought that has ever formed in that brilliant brain of yours without a moment of hesitation. I will argue with you with my dying breath that you are worthy of love. But what I won’t do is to let you do to Harry what you did with me.”
“I am not-”
“Shut up.” Sirius snapped, “You don’t get to speak right now. You don’t get to pretend you’re not doing what I know what you’re doing. Yesterday was you trying to give Harry what you think he wants. In the three seconds of seeing Cillian you decided Harry still wanted to be with him with zero evidence, zero communication. Nothing Harry did should have given you even a little hint that he wanted him. Yet your brain still decided to find a way to make you think he did.”
“Okay.” Remus said as sat on the couch, his head falling to his hand as he looked at Sirius, “I- I panicked okay? I panicked and I reacted and by the time I realized what I said you were already yelling at me.”
“And today? What was that about?”
“For the past thirty years all I’ve known was doing everything I can to keep my status a secret. Do you know how weird it’s going to look when we suddenly have a third partner? Especially when that partner should be like a son to us?”
“But he’s not. We didn’t raise him, we weren’t there for potty training and his Hogwarts letter, and his first Quidditch game. We weren’t there. Besides, who cares what the public thinks?”
“My father does for one. He’ll know something is up, he thinks I’m just gay not that we're mates. If he knew I was accepting more of my werewolf tendencies, mates included, but especially an Omega mate to go with my Alpha status…. Sirius, he'd go after Harry to hurt me.”
“All this is about your father? Seriously?!” Sirius shook his head in disbelief as he looked away from Remus for a moment before staring back at him, “You father who hasn't spoken more than twenty words to you since our wedding day. He tells you Happy Yule and Happy Birthday each year, occasionally asks how we all are, but doesn’t even care enough to try to invite you for Yule even if the Full Moon isn’t near. You’re willing to make Harry feel like a side piece as he put it for a man who told Harry, at six years old, that he would grow up to eat his Papa, give him nightmares and make him cry. You’re really going to put that man over us?”
“Of course not. He’s not above you or Harry-”
“It sure sounds like it.”
“He’s my father, Sirius. He loves me despite the fact I’m a werewolf.”
“And I just love you. There’s no despite anything for me, there’s no conditions to meet for me to love you. I love you for the person you are and that includes being a werewolf because that helped shape you into the man you are today. I just love you. It’s that simple.”
“He’s my father, Sirius.” Remus repeated quieter.
“Well when our feelings mean more to you than his shitty opinions then you can talk to us again.”
“Us? Where are you going? Harry said he wanted space.” Remus said watching Sirius walk towards Harry’s room.
“Pretty sure he meant from you.” Sirius said before he closed the bedroom door behind him and started packing a bag of clothes then he left Harry’s room and entered his and Remus’ bedroom.
“Sirius you can’t leave, you still have classes to teach.” Remus argued as he followed him into their bedroom.
“And I’ll be back to teach them, nowhere in my hiring contract says I have to stay on the grounds if I don’t want to. I can come and go as I please.”
“Where are you going? Where will you sleep? What if Harry really did want space from you too? Then what?”
“I’m going to go find Harry and hopefully take him out on the second date we were supposed to take him out on last time. If he doesn’t want me around then I’ll sleep somewhere else.”
“You can’t just leave.” Remus repeated standing in the middle room as Sirius used his wand to spell his toiletries into his bag.
“Well you can’t just make Harry feel like he isn’t wanted…like he is some kind of burden or inconvenience to your life.”
“That wasn’t my intention.”
“It doesn’t matter if it was or wasn’t your intention, what matters is that Harry is hurt right now because of you and I’m not going to just sit here let him be alone. I’m going to make sure he knows that you’re just being a dumbass. One of us has to put Harry first and if it’s not going to be you, then I’ll do it. Even if it means putting you last.” Sirius finished zipping up his bag and turned to face Remus, “I love you, but you either find a way to have Harry publicly and a relationship with your father or you come to terms that your father is a piece of shit and doesn’t deserve a relationship with you. Until then I’ll be with Harry or somewhere else until Harry wants to see me again.”
“Sirius.” Remus spoke up when Sirius had a hand on the bedroom door, “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not the one you hurt today.”
Sirius left the bedroom before Remus could respond.