Chapter Fifteen
Harry’s heat ended the following Tuesday, the last Tuesday of April. He spent most of the day sleeping and eating and he also took a nearly two hour long bath before he felt clean again.
Wednesday he spent studying for his Magical Theory NEWT that he took on Thursday, and Friday he spent studying for his Alchemy NEWT that he took on Saturday, the last day of April. Between studying he spent time using the mirror to talk to Remus and Sirius and sometimes James.
Sunday he spent most of the day catching up on his work and drinking lots of stress relief or focusing tea to get through it. He was back at school that day finalizing his NEWT schedule as well. Every week on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays he had one NEWT to take. Which to him was a lot better than trying to fit three NEWTs in one day and trying to study and revise for all three of them at the same time.
His first NEWT of the month was Magical World Culture, followed by History of Magic, and Astronomy that Friday. All classes Harry was confident about.
After his Astronomy NEWT that Friday after lunch, Harry headed to Hogwarts to see his mates for the first time in over two weeks. Not that anyone knew he was coming, he had told them he had too much work, but it turns out Harry was getting antsy being away from his mates for so long. So he didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter and he figured he could do his work there anyway.
Harry found Remus first, he was in his classroom frowning at a piece of parchment, presumably a student essay, with his head tilted to the side.
“Don’t you teach OWL level? They can’t be that bad.” Remus looked up from the parchment and grinned at him,
“I thought you were too busy this week?”
“I said I might be too busy.” Harry said entering the office while he pulled off his messenger bag and set it on one of the tables he passed, “I have a lot of work still, but I figured I could do it here anyway. One of those things is the family project anyway so I thought James would like to help out where I will let him.”
“Ah yes, the project that started it all. How goes it?”
“A lot better than whatever you were just trying to read.” Remus chuckled, setting the paper down as Harry rounded the desk.
“I promised James I would help grade his papers since he had almost two weeks of grading mine. I now know why James is always rubbing his temples and staring at the paper as if it’s in another language.” Remus told him as he leaned back in his chair watching him.
“First years?” Harry asked, grabbing the paper and looking it over, “Ah..Hags. I wrote a phenomenal essay about Hags for my end of the year essay for my first year. Got an O on it of course.”
“Why does that not surprise me.”
“Which part? That it was phenomenal or that I got an O?”
“Both.”
“To be fair I was a ten year old in a prestigious school for rich kids who took one look at me and decided they were better than I was. I had a lot to prove.” Harry said, setting the paper down, “Any other classes today?”
“One more in…thirty minutes.”
“Where’s James?”
“Quidditch Pitch with Charlie. Last game of the year tomorrow.”
“What?” Harry asked, “No one told me that.”
“Isn’t that why you’re here?” Remus asked
“No I…I sort of…kinda…you know…missed you..a little. Not a lot. I could totally sleep just fine I just…it wasn’t even really you that I missed more like your…scents and-What?” Harry asked, noticing the small grin Remus was trying hard to hide as he stared at him.
“Harry?”
“What?” Harry asked, his tone a little snappy as he folded his arms which only made Remus smile more.
“Come here.” Remus said, holding his hands out.
“Why?”
“Just come here.”
Harry hesitated a moment, but then placed his hands in Remus’. Remus pulled him closer until Harry straddled his lap then he wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist and pulled him closer while his other hand tucked Harry into his neck.
“We missed you too.” Remus told him softly.
Harry felt his entire body relax in places he hadn’t even known were tense as he sank into Remus’ hold and wrapped his arms around his Alpha’s waist. Remus’s hand rubbed the back of his neck before traveling up to his hair where he gently combed his fingers through his hair.
“We were going to come visit you, but you sounded a little stressed, so we thought we’d wait until this coming week to see you.”
Harry didn’t say anything, He didn’t have to. Not when the silence, the scent of his mate, and the hand in his hair soothed him so easily.
***
“Moony I am all for quickies before class, but isn’t this cutting it a little close?” Sirius’ voice filtered into the family suite, Remus turned to the door to their bedroom just as Sirius opened it, his shirt half way over his head and his pants unbuttoned.
When Sirius’ shirt came off his grin fell a little when he noticed Remus was not naked or even partially undressed.
“Why are you still dressed you’re the one who asked me here.”
“Not for a quickie Sirius.” Remus said softly, “I need you to lay with Harry.”
That’s when Sirius noticed Harry curled in their bed with the covers tucked around his body and pillows surrounding him. He also had Remus’ outer robe that he had been wearing earlier today peeking out from under the covers clearly on top of him.
“Well that should have been mentioned before I worked myself up to half mast.” Sirius said buttoning his pants again, Remus just shook his head.
“Just get in the bed with him. I have class in five minutes and I don’t have time to worry about you and your state of arousal.”
“Did he come just to sleep in our bed or something?” Sirius said as he walked to the bed and moved the covers back so he could lay beside him.
“No.” Remus said with a soft smirk, “he sort of..kinda..you know…missed us.” Sirius stared at him before a small smile broke across his face.
“He said that?”
“Those exact words. There were others involved after it, but that was it.”
“Sorry I missed it sounds like it was rather cute.”
“I definitely thought it was. I’ll be back after my class.”
“We’ll be here.” Sirius told him, wrapping his arm around Harry, “Have fun teaching.” He said smugly
“I could have kept him in my office to myself, you know. I didn’t have to share him with you and let you skip out on the mountains of papers you still have left to grade or the next month of lesson plans you still have to write for test prep.”
Sirius’ tongue poking out at him was the only response Sirius gave his husband before he left to go to his class.
***
After classes were finished Remus found Charlie with James still outside, but they were heading back to the castle.
“Hey Remus, you need me for something?” James asked
“No, I actually need Charlie.”
“Me? Why?” Charlie asked, looking up at Remus.
“Why did you lie about talking to Harry?” Remus asked folding his arms, James’ eyebrows rose as turned to Charlie.
“You what?”
“I- how did you find out?”
“It came up when I was talking to him earlier today. He had no knowledge of your game being tomorrow.” Charlie shifted, shrugging lightly as he chewed his lip, “Charlie did you not want Harry here or something?”
“It’s not that.” Charlie spoke softly
“What is it?” James asked
“Nothing.”
“First you didn’t come around often when Harry was here for two weeks, then you asked me to tell you when he left, and now you lied about talking to him.” James listed, “Charlie clearly something is going on.”
“No, nothing is wrong. I just…I didn’t talk to him.”
“Did he not answer?” Charlie rolled his eyes, a clear sign he was done with the conversation and didn’t want to talk about it anymore, “Charlie-”
“We’re fine, Dad, okay? Nothing is wrong. We’re not fighting or arguing or anything like that. I just- We’re fine.” Charlie said before he was walking away from them heading inside the castle, they watched him until he was out of sight then looked to one another.
“What do you think is going on?” Remus asked
“Do you….do you think Harry told Charlie not to talk to Lily or something like that?” James asked hesitantly, Remus pulled his eyebrows together, but shook his head.
“No. I don’t think Harry would do something like that. Why do you?”
“No but that’s the only thing I can think of. When Harry left I told Charlie like he wanted me to and when I asked him why he needed to know he said it was because he wanted to talk to Lily. I thought it was odd at the time, but didn’t question it all that much, but now this?”
“I don’t think Harry would do that.” Remus repeated, shaking his head, “He hasn’t even said anything bad about her to us, hell honestly he hasn’t talked much about anything private or personal to us. Sirius mentioned he talked a little bit about Matteo when I was in my Rut, but other than that…nothing really personal.”
“I’m sure once he is done with twenty classes that’ll be different. His brain is probably at capacity.”
“Yeah…maybe.” Remus said with a frown, “Anyway I don’t think Harry said something like that. Has to be something else.”
“Yeah I’m sure you're right.” James said, “When did you talk to Harry?”
“Before my last class of the day. He came to the classroom, we talked a bit, then I took him to the family room before teaching. He’s with Sirius right now.”
“Harry’s here?” James asked excitedly, Remus laughed nodding, “Why didn’t you lead with that?!” James shouted as he ran inside the castle.
Remus could practically hear Minerva’s voice yelling at James about running in the corridors in his head. First she would yell his name followed by the signature ‘no running in the corridors’ line. Then she would probably hit him with something before reprimanding him and-
“YOU ARE 37 YEARS OLD JAMES!”
It was not in his head.
Remus pinched the bridge of his nose as he headed to the yelling, James was smiling sheepishly as Minerva glared at him.
“I’ve got him Minerva.” Remus said, coming up to them and grabbing James’ arm.
“Good. Setting a bad example and acting like a child and-” Remus nodded to the rant he knew by heart at this point, pulling James with him all the way to the family suite stopping outside of the portrait.
“Well?” Remus said, eyebrow arched as he looked at James.
“I’m sorry I got yelled at by Minnie.” James said
“And?”
“I’m sorry I ran in the corridors.”
“While?”
“While students were around.”
“What else?”
“I won’t do it again.” James mumbled
“And?”
“Really?”
“AND?”
“And I will buy you chocolate for getting me out of a lecture.”
“Good you may enter.” James brightened as he hurried into the family room finding Harry laying on the floor of the sitting area looking down at his novel, a parchment beside him taking notes.
“Harry!” James greeted cheerfully, the teen looked up wide eyed before relaxing when he noticed it was only them.
“Hey.” Harry said softly, “Are sure it’s not cheating having not only a parent, but an ex quidditch captain teaching the new quidditch captain their old tricks the day before the big game?” He asked
“I wasn’t teaching him anything, I was supervising and telling him where he could improve on some of the tricks he learned over the summer before he was Quidditch Captain.” James said as if he had practiced it in case it ever came up.
“Don’t try it Harry, James is prepared for every argument about this there is. He and Sirius went back and forth on it the summer before we started teaching here.” Remus said
“Oh yeah? Well I haven’t lost a debate in debate club since fourth year.” Harry said pushing himself up to sit in a kneeling position
“You’re in a debate club?” James asked
“Occasionally. It interferes with some of my other clubs so I only go there when I’m in the mood to argue.”
“That…does not surprise me actually.” James said, shaking his head, “How do you have so many hours in your week to do these things? You don’t have a time turner do you?”
“I have excellent time management skills and before recently I’ve always been ahead in my classes. Don’t forget I’m first chair.”
“You’ve lost me.” James said shaking his head
“You know…first chair.” James shook his head, looked at Remus who shrugged as he waited for the kettle to heat up, “..first…chair.” Harry said again looking between them.
“What's first chair?”
“For graduation.”
“Oh you mean first name called?”
“No first chair. I’m first chair. I- there’s no- you don’t have first chair?”
“I don’t know what first chair is.” James said desperately
“It’s you know the first chair. The…okay let me-hold on.” Harry was flustered as he stood up, going to his bag and opening it pulling out a handful of envelopes. Flipping through them before he suddenly pulled one from the stack and handed it to James, setting the others on the coffee table.
“Ooh it has my name in fancy lettering and ink.” James said
“It’s called calligraphy.” Harry said looking at James with concern, “And the Ink is blue with gold glitter for the family colors.” Harry spoke slowly, as if he were talking to a child, reminding them that oxygen was in fact required.
“I know what calligraphy is.” James said
“..right. Anyway.” Harry said, giving James one more look before shaking his head, “Open it so I can show you the map.”
“What is it?” James asked
“Just open it.” Harry said, James stared for a moment then shrugged.
He turned the envelope over to open it and pulled out three separate cards, all of them various color schemes of the school colors. Before James could get a proper look Harry took them and grabbed the last card in the pile.
“Okay so this is the seating arrangement for the ceremony. These three chairs in front of the three rows of five? Those are First, Second, and Third chairs. The top three students of the graduating class. I am first chair so I am sitting on the left side. So for the best view of me you want to sit there. We are called last. After we are called the families will be dismissed to their seats then I, as first chair, will lead the class into the Ceremony Hall where the tables will be set up for a late breakfast or early lunch whichever we want to order. Then from then on it’ll be like a buffet style for lunch and dinner and the rest of the day is spent with professors or scouts or whatever.” Harry explained pointing to the ‘x’s for chairs and the following the line that led to a rectangular labeled ‘ceremony hall’ inside the school.
“This is an invite to your graduation?” James asked with a smile as he grabbed the other invites and looked at it, “You are invited to the graduation of The Class of 1996 of Kreasiara Institute.” James aloud
“Yeah well…I figured you wouldn’t want to miss it.” Harry said with a shrug, folding his arms across his chest.
“Don’t mind him James, Harry has a problem with showing vulnerable emotions.” Remus cut in as he carried three mugs of steaming tea to them, setting one on the coffee table and handing the other to Harry.
“Excuse you, no I don’t.” Harry said
“Kinda..sort of..you know. Ring a bell?” Remus asked, Harry bit his lip as he turned away from his mate making Remus chuckle.
“How many of these do you have?” James grabbed for the pile, but Harry picked them up before he could.
“Everyone gets ten.” Harry said, “I have names on most of them. Like these two are Sirius and Remus.” Harry said handing the two to Remus, “These two are for Charlie and Ariel, you need an invite to get in so that’s why you get yours separately. This one is Uncle Frankie’s, this is Papa’s.”
“What about your mother?” James asked
“I’m already going to have one parent not show up, I’d rather not have two.” Harry said
“Harry, she wouldn’t miss this.”
“Then I don’t want her to cause a scene when she shows up forty minutes late and they’re calling names.”
“Harry I’m not saying you have to, but just consider it.” Harry pressed his lips together then sighed and pulled out an envelope and handed it to James with Lily’s name on it though it was her maiden name not her married name.
“She hasn't changed her name yet.
“Well maybe she’ll get the hint and get a move on it.”
“Fine. I promise I will only give it to her if she promises to show up okay?” James told him as he set both invites down on the table and looked at Harry who didn’t look at him.
“Early or at the very least on time.”
“Look I know what she did was wrong, okay? But maybe consider how the way you treat her may affect how Charlie or Ariel treat her or feel with all of us in the same room.” James said gently
“What-”
“You have an invite for Matteo don’t you?”
“Do not compare them.” Harry said lowly, turning to James with a cold stare.
“How many times has he not shown up for plans or not responded to your owls or-”
“It’s different.”
“No it is not, Harry. Lily isn’t a horrible mother, she loves her kids, she loves you, she’s just having a hard time right now and she doesn’t know how to deal with it. You were stolen from us, we didn’t have a choice or an option, you were stolen when your mother and I were unconscious from Voldemort. We didn’t just up and leave you voluntarily. We searched for you for years.” James stressed.
Harry clenched his jaw as he turned to look at the fireplace so he didn’t have to look at James as his eyes involuntarily teared up. He kept the tears from falling through by pure stubbornness as James continued.
“Lily decided the best way to cope was to grieve you, to declare you dead so she could have a place to mourn you. A place to remember you. Matteo knows exactly where you are and how to contact you. Matteo left you willingly. Yet you still reach out to him. You still give him the ability to hurt you and disappoint you yet Lily does it once and you’re suddenly ready to cut her out of your life? Permanently? It’s not fair to her and it’s not fair to Charlie and Ariel.”
“It’s different.” Harry repeated
“How?”
“It just is.” Harry said
“How? How is Matteo leaving you, just leaving a few weeks or months after something life changing happened to you different? Actually I know how it’s different because it’s worse than not showing up for lunch which was pretty shitty I will admit, but Matteo didn’t show up for Yule!” James’ voice rose, “It’s been almost four years since you last seen him, four years of no response from him and yet you still reach out to him-”
“BECAUSE I'M THE REASON HE LEFT!” Harry shouted, turning to James with tears in his eyes. A door opened and closed somewhere but neither turned to see if it was Remus leaving or Sirius coming out.
“Harry you are not-”
“Yes I am. I’m not stupid James. I connected the dots pretty early on.” Harry snapped, “You don’t think I didn’t notice the shift?! The change of tone, the way his comments changed, the way he stopped suddenly smiling at me and telling me he was proud of me!”
“That doesn’t mean-”
“You weren’t there!” Harry yelled, “You weren’t there when Papa thought he was fixing the problem by leaving me alone with him for weeks at a time and all I got was silence! You were there when I begged him to play with me on a broom like we used to do and he would leave the house! I was 12 years old just wanting my dad back and he didn’t want me anymore!”
Harry’s tears finally started falling despite his best efforts.
“You weren’t there when I told my parents about my first boy crush and his face just fell because I was gay too! You were there when he started making comments about me adjusting on a broom! You weren’t there when he made sly comments about my broom grip and if I was practicing for the real thing! You weren’t there when at fucking thirteen years old I woke up in a fucking panic and Frankie told us I was an Omega and his face went from worry to HATE! He hated me! Any love he had for me vanished that day! Those comments just got worse! He wanted to pull me out of school because I was nothing more than an incubator and house wife! You were there when the only dad I ever knew became a fucking stranger and made me into his little servant whenever Papa was gone!”
“Harry-”
“I dropped quidditch! I added extra classes! I did everything I could and all he saw was a few bad grades! I worked my ass off every semester for fucking three years, never getting anything less than an E so I could send him my grade averages and so he could come back into my life and tell me I was more than just an Omega AND IT DIDN”T WORK!”
No one spoke, but the room was deafening.
“It didn’t work.” Harry said softly before he was breaking as he stepped into James’ arms clinging to him, “Why didn’t it work?” Harry asked, shoulders shaking as he sobbed into James’ chest.
James held his son so tight he was afraid it would bruise, but at the moment he didn’t care. It felt like his arms were the only thing keeping his son up, keeping his son from breaking for a man who didn’t deserve that power over him. With Harry’s anger gone, the picture frames and the few glassware they had in the cupboards had stopped shaking. The magic that had suffocated the room has disappeared too, not that they thought Harry had even known his magic had been so out of control or that the small stone necklace around his neck had emitted a glow indicating it was trying to dampen the uncontrollable power coming from the emotional powerful teen.