Chapter Seven
Standing outside of the house she hasn’t been to since that night Lily remembered the many memories she and James had created in the house before everything was destroyed.
She could still remember the day James brought her to this house, it had been in the family for generations, his parents had told them to go look at the properties and pick one to start a family in. This was the third house James had shown her and she had fallen in love with it.
She had loved the low brick fence and the little gate that opened up to the stone pathway. She remembered imagining their future kids playing in the small front yard while she tended to the flower bed at the front of the house.
Pushing the gate open Lily looked at the overgrown grass and the dead flowers in the garden beds. Looking towards the front door she let a small smile pull at her lips as a memory came to her.
-September 1978-
“Are you sure we can’t just magic the door blue?” James asked, pouting lightly as he laid his head against the brick of the house after carrying the paint cans to the door.
“No, this is more fun James, trust me.” Lily said laughing as she handed James a paint roller, “Paint your half and I’ll paint mine. Do the primer first.”
“What’s in it for me?” James asked folding his arms with a smirk
“I will let you go out with Sirius and Remus instead of going shopping for decor items.”
“You mean shopping for random things to fill the empty places? Deal. Though if you see-”
“Any stag, dog, or wolf items get them. I know.”
“Alright let’s paint.” James said grinning as he pushed off from the wall and dipped his roller in the paint.
Two days later they were hanging the newly painted dark blue door on its hinges.
Blinking away the memory Lily found herself staring at the broken door as she stood in the doorway. The door was barely hanging on its hinges and had holes in it now, clearly rotting away despite the protections Jamse had put on it years ago.
Stepping inside the house she looked at the U-shaped staircase directly in front of the door then turned away from it to look to her right where the living room was.
The brown sofa faced the fireplace while the loveseat was in front of the picture window that looked out to the front yard. One of the many blankets she had always kept in reach was still thrown on the loveseat and there were toys still on the floor that James apparently hadn’t packed or cleaned up.
Stepping further into the room Lily remembered telling James she was pregnant.
-January 1980-
Lily had been home alone for three days while James was out with the Order. She knew Sirius would do everything to make sure James returned home, but it did little to soothe her as she continued to pace and worry. It was nearing ten in the evening, Lily was just about to lay down for the night when the front door opened.
“It’s me.” James said just loud enough that Lily would have been able to hear it from upstairs had she been up there. She didn’t waste much more than a second to set her mug down before she was running out of the kitchen to James as he was toeing off his shoes still.
James had stumbled from the unexpected weight, but had righted himself quickly and Lily didn’t waste another second to tell him the news.
“I’m pregnant.” She told him pulling away to look at him
“What?” James asked
“I’m pregnant.” It took three seconds for James to register it in his head then he was grinning and spinning her around.
“We’re going to have a baby. Lily, this is amazing!” James said, setting her down to look at her, “I have to tell Pads and Moony they’re going to be so excited! A baby! Lily, we're going to have a little baby boy or girl!”
“I know. I was going to tell you over breakfast or a meal whenever you came home, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore.”
“I am so glad you told me.” James said before he kissed her cupping her face in his hands, “Let me carry you-”
“Oh no you don’t James Potter. We’ll walk to bed together.” James pouted but relented and eventually they were laying in bed together, James’ hands rubbing her still flat stomach.
Shaking her head Lily found herself walking up the stairs then walking past the master bedroom straight down the hall to the nursery. She remembered the fear and the anger and the realization of that night so long ago.
The fear for her sons, for her husband, for their friends.
The anger at Peter and his betrayal.
The realization that the emergency portkey that would have sent the babies to Sirius and Remus’ house was not where it had been yesterday when they had checked it. A habit they had gotten into since they began to suspect something wasn’t quite right anymore.
Entering the nursery was a shock compared to the last time she had been in there. She knew James had packed everything without leaving anything behind, but she hadn’t seen the empty nursery since February of 1980 when they began decorating it.
-February 1980-
“James, what are you doing?” Lily asked as he kept his hands over her eyes as they walked down the hall on the second floor.
“I have to show you something.” James said
“If it’s another portrait of Sirius and or Padfoot doing something weird I’m divorcing you.” She told him.
“Oh come on, you love the portrait of Padfoot reading your favorite romance book.”
“James I mean it.”’
“It’s not a portrait. I promise. Come on right through here.” One of her hands brushed against a doorframe then they stopped, “Okay ready?”
“Show me what you did.” She said amused
“TADA!” James shouted as he removed his hand revealing a room with two brown wooden cribs, two dressers to match and a rocking chair in the corner.
“James, you started decorating the nursery already?” Lily asked softly
“Yeah well this one was mine as a baby and this one was my father’s. I just recolored them so they matched and those dressers have been in the family for years too and the rocking chair was my mother’s. We can get new stuff if you want to I just-”
“No, this is great. I love it. But I’m helping from here on out, mister.”
“I just wanted to get the basics in here. The rest we’ll do together, promise.”
-April 1980-
“What do you think of Harry?”
What?” Lily asked, turning to James as he folded the few baby clothes they had ordered already.
“Harry…for the first born.”
“Harry?”
“Yeah well my grandfather’s name was Henry, but he went by Harry with his friends and family. He was great. When I was 12 I promised him I would name my first born son after him and he told me only if it was Harry and not Henry. So what do you think?”
“I like it. Harry James Potter. What about the second one?”
“Your father’s name was Charles wasn’t it? So what about Charlie?”
“It’s great. Harry and Charlie.”
-July 1980-
“So as long as I don’t give birth in July the prophecy won’t be about Harry or Charlie?” Lily asked looking at Dumbledore
“Correct.”
“Well my due date isn’t until August 5th, so we should be fine.” Lily said looking over at James who nodded.
“Right, it’ll be fine, but just in case we’ll go over secret keeper ideas and talk about our options okay? It’ll be fine.” James told her kneeling beside her, his hand rubbing over her large belly, “I’ll protect these boys with my life Lily, you have nothing to worry about.”
“Okay. You’re right. I should lay down though.”
“Of course. I’ll move the blankets back for you.”
“I’ll see myself out. Take care of yourselves.” Dumbledore said standing up from the sofa.
Ten days later Lily was in St. Mungo’s giving birth. For a few seconds they had thought they had made it past midnight but then the healer called the time of birth and James and Lily shared a look that said more than they could have with words in that moment.
Lily left the nursery blinking tears away from her eyes as she remembered those first few days after birth. She didn’t want to think of that now, she didn’t really want to think of anything. She had come here hoping to find answers on the wall, an obvious solution to her problems, but she found only memories that pulled at her heart.
-October 31 1980-
“And muggles do this with their babies too?” James asked skeptically as he held Harry dressed as a wolf.
James had tried to buy the stag costume, but at just three months old it was clear Harry loved wolves even if no one really understood how someone so young had such a strong opinion. Harry saw the wolf costume and reached for it immediately much to James’ displeasure.
“Yes James.” Lily said, fixing Charlie’s hood with his little antlers on it.
“But babies can’t have candy.”
“It’s not about the candy James, it's just something people do. It’s fun. Besides, we can eat the candy.”
“Oh I see what this is about. You want muggle candy and are exploiting our children to get it for free. You are very clever Miss Potter.” James said
“That is not- whatever just go get the stroller ready.” Lily said laughing as she grabbed extra blankets and the baby bag.
“You hear that Harry? Mommy is exploiting your good looks for free candy.” James stage whispered as he walked out of the nursery
“I heard that James!”
-Christmas 1980-
“Can you imagine these boys at Hogwarts together?” Sirius said grinning as he had Charlie in his lap playing with a few baby toys.
“They’re not even one yet Sirius.” Lily said
“Oh hush Lily. These boys will be ruling the halls of Hogwarts by age 12.”
“Speaking of boys, where is Harry?” James asked coming into the living room with two bottles, handing one of them to Sirius.
“Harry took my husband from me within seconds of him entering the living room. Pretty sure they’re upstairs.” Sirius said
“Here I’ll take it to him.” Lily offered, James gave her the bottle then sat down beside Sirius on the floor. She made her way upstairs to the nursery and sure enough Remus was in the rocking chair with Harry.
“ ‘’Just like a girl’’ said Edmund to himself, ‘sulking somewhere, and won’t accept an apology.’’ He looked round him again and decided he did not much like this place.” Remus was speaking softly as Harry snuggled into his chest.
“He never sits still for me to read a chapter with him.” Lily said drawing Remus’ attention from the book to her, “I bring a bottle.” She said waving the bottle before handing it to Remus as he adjusted Harry in his arms.
“Guess it's lunch time then huh Harry?” Remus said
“You got it?” She asked
“Yup Harry and I have it all under control don’t we cub? Say you and daddy go have a nap, Merlin knows you guys probably need it. I’ll make sure Sirius doesn’t kill one of them.”
“If I can drag my husband away from your husband we’ll do that, but you know how they are.”
“Just tell James you’ll sleep naked that’ll entice him.” Lily snorted, shaking her head as she left the room going back downstairs to try to get James to take a nap with her.
Lily shook her head to shake the memories and soon found herself leaving the house feeling a little lighter than she did when she arrived. When she got back to Hogwarts James, Sirius, and Remus had just gotten back, Remus looking a little worn out resting on the couch.
“Hey where have you been? I went by Snape’s, but he said he hadn’t seen you today.” James said when she came into the room.
“Yeah I was just out. I guess I was clearing my head.” Lily said, setting her outer robe on the back of the couch, eyeing the books on the coffee tables, “What’s with the books?”
James, Sirius, and Remus all shared a look between them briefly before looking away.
“What is it?” She asked
“It’s about Harry.” James said standing up from his spot on the floor, “Remember when Charlie had that really bad leg pain during the full moon?”
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Well that pain was actually Harry’s…he was attacked that night by a werewolf.”
“Harry’s a werewolf? Well…that’s fine we already know everything about werewolves with Remus being one. It’s not ideal of course, but it’s nothing we can’t handle.” Lily said
“No his Papa, Henry that is. He was able to drain most of the venom out of his bloodstream, but some of it lingered making Harry a Lycan instead of a Werewolf.” James explained
“What’s a Lycan?”
“It’s a half-breed of a werewolf.” Remus told her, “It’s a little more complicated, but to simplify it it’s a werewolf that isn’t forced to shift on a full moon. He is able to shift at will.”
“Not only that but he is also an Omega rather than an alpha like Remus. I got some books so we can read up on it and learn what we need to to be there for Harry if he ever needs us.” James said, Lily nodded as she stared at the books.
“Okay. Anything else I need to know?” She asked, watching as they shared another look between the three of them.
“You should sit for this one.” Sirius said, “And give me your wand please.”
“What is it?” She asked giving her wand to Sirius reluctantly as she sat down in the chair.
“Harry is our Omega mate.” Remus said
“Excuse me?”
“Lily-”
“You’re okay with this?” Lily asked turning to James
“I mean….kind of?” James said with a shrug, “Look on the bright side Lily we know them, we know they wouldn’t hurt Harry, we know they won’t be controlling or abusive or-”
“Oh my god you’re okay with this.” Lily said incredulously as she stood up, “James! They are twenty years older than him!”
“It’s not like I’m jumping for joy over this Lily, it's just…there’s nothing we can do about it. I’ve accepted it and with time you will too.”
“I can’t believe this.” She said before she frowned and turned to James, “You weren’t going to tell me were you?”
“Not today, no.”
“When? When were you going to tell me?”
“I don’t know Lily.” James said, rubbing his hand over his face, “Everytime we talk about Harry we end up arguing.”
“Because you keep hiding things from me!” She shouted at him
“I'm not hiding anything.”
“You hid the fact my son was alive from me.”
“I did not. I told you it’s not my fault you didn’t believe me.”
“You hid that he was a Lycan.”
“I just learned about it this weekend. Literally on Saturday I learned he was an Omega Lycan. The other days Remus and Sirius thought he was an omega Werewolf. I didn’t say anything because there was nothing to say yet. We didn’t know anything for sure from Harry himself.” James stressed, “I’m not arguing about this with you Lily. I’m just not. I’m done arguing every time we talk.”
“We can’t just not talk to each other James. We have kids together, we have to talk. We’re married in case you’ve forgotten.”
“Well maybe we shouldn’t be.”
“Okay well that’s our cue to leave.” Sirius said, standing up from the couch with Remus.
“Yeah we’re going to...just be out there somewhere.” Remus said as they grabbed their books and hurried out of the room.
“You don’t want to be married anymore?” Lily asked
Jame stood there for a moment not answering as he rubbed a hand over his jaw.
“I’ve been thinking.” James said softly, “About this past year and everything that’s been happening between us and the kids…I want to believe that Harry being alive and back in our lives will end the fighting, but I don’t think it will.”
“Well if you would just stop-”
“Stop what Lily? Stop believing my son to be alive? Stop doing everything you want me to do? Stop being there for the kids and for you? Stop trying to be your husband? Stop what:? What do you want me to stop doing? You yelled at me two months ago because I put a blanket over you and kissed your head.”
“I didn’t yell at you. I told you I wasn't in the mood.”
“You snapped at me and told me to you weren’t in the fucking mood even though I wsn’t trying to do anything except be nice to you. You always want a blanket around you when you read and that’s what I got for you. Also, not that I care, but you haven’t been in the mood for eight months. Again not that I care because even before then we hardly had sex since Ariel was born.”
“I didn’t want to get pregnant again.”
“There are other ways to avoid pregnancy, Lily.”
“So you want to divorce because we’re not having sex?”
“Are you serious? That’s- You know what fine. If that’s what you want to hear then fine. Yes I want a divorce because we’re not having sex anymore. Are you happy? I’m still the villain. You can go to Snape and complain about me and tell him how horrible I still am.” James snapped before he grabbed his robe from the chair, “I’m going to go to Dumbledore and talk to him about Harry coming over next week for my birthday.” James said before he was leaving the room, leaving Lily there alone.
She stood there for a moment before she left and headed to Snape’s private brewing room.
“Your husband is looking for you.” Severus told her before she even closed the door.
“He found me and told me he wants a divorce.” She said watching him for any external reactions, she found it in the twitch of his eyebrow as he stirred one of his potions.
“Oh? Why does he want one?”
“Multiple reasons.” She said sitting down on the stool, “It’s not like I love him anymore either, but we have kids together and with Harry…to bring him into a broken family? Really?”
“The kids are not a reason to stay married.” Severus said, setting the ladle down, “Perhaps he is realizing a divorce is what’s best for the kids.”
“How can you say that?” She asked
“Have you forgotten that my mother stayed with my father for me?”
“That’s different. Neither one of us is alcoholics or abusive towards the kids or each other.” Severus stared at her with a single raised brow, “James is not abusive you know that. Despite your history James is a great father and husband..sometimes.”
“I’m not talking about Potter.”
“Me?! You think I’m abusive?!” Lily said shocked, eyes wide as she stared at Severus.
“Lily. If Potter had been treating you the way you have been treating him I’d have poisoned him years ago.” Severus said, “You’ve been cruel, rude, dishonest, unreliable, vindictive, argumentative, down right-”
“Whose side are you on here?” Lily asked
“Yours. Which is why I’ve allowed it and secretly been pleased each time you’ve treated him like something on the bottom of your boot. However, my point remains. If he had treated you like that he’d be dead.”
“I haven’t been that bad…have I?”
“You’ve been grieving and having to listen to your husband still have hope for a child you’ve come to accept to be dead. You were not in an easy position but..yes…you’ve been terrible to him. Not that I disapprove of course.”
Lily rested her chin in her hand as she stared at one of the smoking cauldrons.
“So a divorce?” She asked
“Might just be the only good idea that has entered your husband’s head.”
“I hate you.” Severus smirked as he poured some powder into the cauldron.
“Two months ago you told me you loved me.”
Lily scrunched her nose before she smirked and hit his elbow making him dump the rest of the powder into the cauldron too quickly. Severus closed his eyes and huffed just before the cauldron exploded and bright pink slime rang on them making Lily laugh.
“Get out.”
“Pink is definitely your color.” Lily said before she stood and ran out of the room just as Severus was reaching for his wand.