co-op
Remus Lupin does not know why the universe has cathartically uprooted his educational experience at Cherier Boarding School. What he does know is that he’s eternally grateful for it.
In the past week, he has made three new friendships, more valuable than any he’s had before the arrival of the hockey team. All the ballet students are nice to Remus, and he’s spent so much time with them that it’s impossible not to share inside jokes and grab meals together, he feels true belonging amongst James, Sirius, and Peter. It’s a bit ironic if he thinks about it too hard, the way he feels like an outsider when he’s with like-minded peers and at home with three boys he’s just met. But it is that way. Since they’ve arrived, their foursome has spent little time apart.
It’s now routine for James to rap on his door, a little too early in the morning, to collect him for breakfast.
“Hiya Remus!” James waves once Remus opens the door. His hair is windblown and his face is red, possibly from running from his dorm, hockey practice, or both.
“Hi James,” Remus answers, grabbing his ballet bag. “Hockey practice?” He questions.
“You bet!” James confirms as Remus shuts the door and begins walking down the three flights of stairs. “I woke up at four today. Do your feet ever get antsy in the middle of the night, like they’re itching to dance? Well, mine do, and they needed to be out on the ice this morning.”
“That makes sense,” Remus responds. “You do know that we have auditions today though, right?” He didn’t expect that James would prioritize auditions over hockey, but he wanted to make sure that James wasn’t destroying his legs from all the crosstraining.
“Oh,” James seemed to remember, “Yeah I forgot those were today! So… how exactly do they work?”
“Well,” Remus explains, “They typically start by telling us what ballet we are going to perform and who will be auditioning for which roles.”
“They even tell you what to audition for?!” James questions, shocked, “Like, you can’t choose what roles you want to go out for?”
“Well, usually everyone sort of knows who is going to get what after they tell us what ballet we’re doing. That’s the troublesome secret. It doesn’t matter how much you practice in the week leading up to auditions; the directors see your work over the progress of the school year and already have a general idea of who they want to put where. Sometimes, though, one of the dancers will surprise them in the audition, put some sort of unparalleled emotion into the role that makes them fit perfectly into the spot. That’s why they have auditions, really. For the diamonds in the rough. And so that no one can blatantly call them out on favoritism since technically they reviewed most people for each role.”
“Huh.” James replies. Remus thinks some of that may have gone over his head. The politics of ballet can be difficult to navigate.
“Yeah, but I wouldn’t stress over it. All of the ballet dancers will, because they need jobs, but I think they just want your hockey team to be a part of it.” Remus says as they walk into the dining hall, “Oh, and by the way, I really do appreciate you walking me to the dining hall, but you seriously don’t have to.”
“What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?” James replies. The sincerity in his voice doesn’t surprise Remus. In the past few days, he’s discovered that James has an incredibly kind soul. It’s as if he doesn’t know what it is to be mean, or selfish. The world should feel lucky to have him.
Peter meets up with them at their table, debriefing all the wonderful gossip he’s heard about their party.
“Many are saying it’s the best event they’ve been to in years. I’ve heard tales of people confessing their true love in the neon light, rekindled friendships, and about 10 boys and girls swoon over–”
Sirius Black, of course. He is by far the most enigmatic of the trio, which, in Remus’ opinion, is part of what makes him so captivating, so electric.
And speaking of the handsome devil, Sirius plops down beside them, banging his head on the breakfast table.
“I mean, is this really the ballet heartthrob?” Pete jokes, pointing to Sirius and shaking his head.
James snorts, flicking the top of Sirius’ head. “Rise and shine, mate.”
Sirius starts to snore in protest. All three of the boys begin to laugh at him.
“Not so much of a morning person are we padfoot?” James continues to prod, earning him a groan from Sirius.
“Fuck off,” he says.
Remus can’t help but notice the similarities between Sirius and his brother. He does feel quite awful for not having realized it until Regulus told him, crying. Remus probably should have known from just looking at Sirius that they were brothers. They both have similar face structures, Sirius with slightly more jagged bone structure, but similar nonetheless. The hair probably should have tipped him off too. But Remus guesses that what threw him off course was Sirius’ startlingly blue eyes. If he had Regulus gray, stormy ones, Remus may have connected the dots sooner.
Their relationship is something Remus doesn’t quite understand. As he walks with his friends to academic classes, he ponders why they seem so distant. Regulus never mentioned once that he had a brother. Sirius never came to any of his shows, and Regulus never went to any of Sirius’ games. And although Remus is extremely curious, he has left it up to James to handle Sirius’ problems with Regulus. It just seems all too personal for Remus to ask such things one week into becoming friends.
The one thing Remus does know, however, is that Sirius knows nothing about last spring. He’s come to this conclusion based on a strange conversation he had with Severus Snape the day before they threw the party.
Remus didn’t run in the same crowd as Snape. Mulciber’s group was involved in the wrong type of activities, and Remus was never interested in jeopardizing his career. So, it was shocking when he struck up a conversation with Snape while walking from one class to another. At first, Remus thought he was following him until he called out his name and Remus turned around.
“Snape?” He asked, a bit flustered.
“Lupin,” he repeated, now stepping beside Remus so they were walking together.
Snape looked like he was going to say something, but never did.
“Can I help you?” Remus questioned. The silence was stretching for too long.
“Did you know that Regulus had a brother?” He asked.
A bit of a strange question, but not too unsurprising for Snape. He was probably going to report everything new he found out about Regulus straight to Mulciber.
“I did not, actually, until a few days ago” Remus answered.
“Well, I guess that explains why you’ve been spending so much time with the older Black, then. Sirius, is it?”
“Yep.” Remus supplied him with another answer.
“And so they live in the other dorm, all the hockey boys.”
“Yes…” Remus told him, figuring out which way this conversation was going to go.
“And have you visited Sirius in there before–”
“Severus,” Remus stopped him, “I know what you’re doing.”
“You do?” His eyes gazed at Remus with uncertainty.
“Yes. And it’s pointless. I’m not going to aid you in relaying information to Mulciber about Regulus. You know where my loyalty lies.” Remus still wasn’t sure what to do about the blood he found on the floor of what once was Regulus’ room–Sirius’ current room. It’s not like he could confirm the blood was anything out of the ordinary. Bleeding feet were somewhat of an industry standard. It was just, that there were too many rumors about last spring for him to ignore it. He didn’t know enough about the incident to say if the blood’s existence would help or hurt Regulus. He also didn’t want to believe many of the things he heard about Regulus. They weren’t best friends, but Regulus was no Mulciber. Whatever happened, Remus had a feeling that it was Mulciber’s vile fault that left him in the hospital.
“It-it’s not for Mulciber.” Snape insisted.
Remus eyed him, still skeptical.
“I promised Lily that I would look out for him.” Ah. Now that made more sense.
“Is Regulus in imminent danger that I’m unaware of?” Remus questioned. He knew Regulus was in deep shit, but he thought it all got sorted out.
Snape hesitated. “Mulciber is coming back to school in a few weeks.”
Remus raised his eyebrows. For his own reasons, Mulciber’s return forged a pit in his stomach.
“The whole gang's back together then, huh.” The words left a sour taste in Remus’ mouth.
“Well, yes,” Snape responded. “But he’s coming back for a reason, Remus.”
He considered the words for a moment. If the extent of Mulciber’s injuries fed to Remus by chatter were true, he wouldn’t get back on his feet for another few months, let alone get back into shape before company auditions.
“You know how influential his parents are,” Snape continued. Remus did not know that, but it didn’t surprise him too much. It would explain the way he treated everyone, especially Remus. He shivered at the thought of those memories. “They think Cherier did a poor job of patching up the incident. I think Mulciber is looking to cull some ghosts.”
“Snape, this is…” Remus didn’t know what to say to the boy. There were too many missing pieces. First and foremost is the event itself. Remus knew a few things:
- Regulus and Mulciber had some serious problems leading up to the Spring Spectacular. This likely had something to do with Mulciber being Regulus’ understudy in Agon.
- The night before the Spring Spectacular, something awful occurred. Mulciber ended in a coma, and Regulus was fine, other than a ring of purple around his neck which even the foundation couldn’t cover. Eyewitnesses swear they saw everything from the boys sharing a passionate embrace that evening to Mulciber falling out of Regulus’ dorm.
- Remus has no idea what to believe, personally. Based on the character of Mulciber, he clings steadfastly to defending Regulus.
- Cherier covered it all up. Regulus nor Mulciber were facing no charges. This was the part that confused Remus the most. It seemed only natural that Mulciber and his parents would get legally involved, especially because he ended up in the hospital.
The second missing piece was that Remus didn’t know where Snape’s loyalty lay. On one hand, Snape hung around Mulciber. He followed him everywhere, like a scribe whose task was to write Mulciber’s biography.
But he loved Lily. If what Snape said was true, if Lily asked him to protect Regulus, Snape would do it.
And Lily and Regulus were close. Without the red hair, Remus would think she was Regulus’ sibling, not Sirius.
“So, what exactly do you want me to do, Snape?”
“I want you to keep an eye on him.”
“Because you can’t?” Remus was confused.
“Obviously not. Mulciber will be back, and I have to–”
“Of course. You’re still going to be friends when he returns. I will never understand you for it.” Remus didn’t. Why couldn’t Snape see how awful of a person Mulciber was and leave him?
“There are many things you don’t understand about me, Lupin. But I am asking you because Lily asked me.” Snape looked tired of their back and forth. Remus was too.
“So why do you think I will help you? Why are you even coming to me?”
“Well, I think that’s obvious. You despise Mulciber, which, understood. And you don’t know what happened last spring, but I would be willing to bet that you think Mulciber was in the wrong.” Remus nods. “So by helping me, you’re doing the opposite of helping him. And second, I came to you because you’ve always been trustworthy and you’ve gotten close with the elder Black, who, mind you, probably knows something more about his younger brother’s ‘situation’ than any of us do, including Mulciber.”
Hmm. The idea of Mulciber coming back to campus was frightening enough. Watching him pull Cherier and Regulus into a legal battle and acting like the victim every day on campus would not be ideal either. But how did he know Snape was on Regulus’ side, and not telling Mulciber everything Remus knew about Regulus?
“Ok, fine. So, you want me to help you to help Regulus?”
“Yes.” Relief washed over Snape’s face. “Just so that… if Mulciber tries to open a lawsuit, Regulus will have every chance to defend himself.”
Remus considered the offer once more. “Alright. I’ll help. Partly because I abhor Mulciber, partly because I like Lily, and partly because I like Regulus. But you have to prove you are on Regulus’ side first.”
“Fine, I can. Just tell me how.”
“You’re going to make sure he cleans up the blood I found under his old bed. I fear it may have had something to do with that night. Should we go talk to him together?”
“No, no.” Snape shook his head, “Regulus can’t know that I’m helping him out.”
“What? Why not?”
“If Mulciber found out we were in cahoots, it would not go well.”
“Well maybe you should cut your cahoots with him.” Why was this boy so hellbent on keeping Mulciber’s friendship?
“I’ll write him a note instead. He’ll fix it, trust me. And you can check to see if the blood’s gone.”
“Alright. Seems like a complicated scheme to me, but if it works, I’m in.”
The air in the audition rooms is muggy. Probably due to thirty dancers being confined in one space after a warm-up class. They split the boys into two groups. All of the hockey players were in the second group, except Sirius. Even though he quit ballet when he was 12, Sirius has a lot of natural talent.
“So, is this the part where they tell us what ballet we’re performing?” Sirius whispers to Remus before the directors walk in.
“Yeah,” Remus whispers back, “I don’t know what’s taking them so long.”
As if on cue, Artistic Director Dumbledore waltzes into the classroom.
“Hello, everyone.” The dancers mumble a series of hellos back.
“I’m sure you’re all a bit anxious, but you’ve done this so many times before.” He assures them.
“Uh, I haven’t,” Sirius says to Remus. This makes both of them laugh.
“I think we should all remember, too, that you’re all here because you are passionate. Not because you have a desire to prove yourselves, but because this artform is what wakes you up in the morning.”
Sirius shakes his head at Remus, reminding him that ballet definitely does not make him want to get up each morning.
“Yeah well, nothing makes you want to get up in the morning,” Remus tells him.
Sirius rolls his eyes. “Well, maybe that’s because you’ve never played Diamond Dogs at 6am.”
“You know, Pete and I actually tried one morning. You started humming before turning over and snoring again.”
The other boy looks shocked. “Seriously?! I thought that was a dream!”
Remus tunes back into Dumbledore’s motivational speech right as he announces the ballet: Othello.
A series of oohs and ahs floats throughout the room. Remus knows the story very well; it’s one of his favorite Shakespearean plays. It’s not commonly performed as a ballet, however; he thinks ABT did it once but has since taken it off their repertoire list. The obscurity excites him, though. There’s more chance to be creative in each role.
“Who’s Othello?” Sirius looks over, perplexed.
“It’s a tragedy, by Shakespeare,” Remus whispers.
“Hmm.” Sirius replies, “Are there any fights in it?”
Of course this would be his first question. “Interestingly enough, yes.”
Sirius waggles his eyebrows. “Are there any sexy scenes?”
Remus gapes at him, “How would I know that–”
“Well, you did know that there were fights–” Sirius grins back at him.
“Well yes, but they’re choreographing this on teenagers.”
“So… like teenagers don’t have sex?”
“I- I guess so,” Remus stammers, “but graphic scenes reflect poorly on Cherier–”
“Well someone’s a prude.” Sirius winks at him. He was trying to get under Remus’ skin.
“Alright everyone!” Dumbledore calls, “now that you’ve had ample seconds to chat with your friends about the show, let’s get to dancing!”
They’ve been split up into two smaller groups to audition for several male parts. Remus wishes he could say he knew which parts belonged to which character, but he didn’t. He wasn’t familiar enough with the ballet; none of them were. Sometimes if they were dancing common variations, like those from Giselle or The Nutcracker they could act out the known characters they were portraying.
Remus focused on his technique throughout the audition. During the last dance, he decides to steal glances at Sirius, who’s in the second group.
It is then that Remus realizes there is something extraordinary about Sirius Black. He’s performing a challenging series of brisés, and Remus can’t seem to look away.
Remus already knew that Sirius was technically proficient; his body had forgotten very few moves in the past 5 years. But it isn’t his technique that steals the attention of all the eyes in the room, it is his performance. The music is sorrowful, indeed. But by watching Sirius, Remus feels like he is living the tragedy of the dancer, experiencing it himself. With every facial expression, he pours life into the movements, his body in perfect cue with the accents of each note. Hell, even his hair is adding to the effect. Strands that fell out of his ponytail are rhythmically swaying.
He’s gorgeous. Utterly, tragically gorgeous.
Remus knew it from the moment he met him, of course. But it seemed as though many were realizing it for the first time.
His dancing is true to his name. Sirius outshines everyone.