tea time
Regulus has attempted to have a nice dinner, he really has. Even though the day’s drama has deterred him from a peaceful mindset, he has sat down with Barry and Evan made polite conversation while waiting to eat. Regulus even told Evan that his variation looked good in men’s class, which made Evan smile.
He reaches his breaking point, however, when he realizes that the only thing the cafeteria is serving is… dessert?
It makes no sense, really, so it therefore infuriates Regulus. The cafeteria has never served dessert only.
It has to be some kind of joke, Regulus thinks, why would they ever allow a room of people who have just danced all day to only eat dessert? The administration is very much aware that they need proper nutrition, and so are the chefs.
So why in god’s name would they ever do something like this? Was the original food poisoned? But even then they could’ve at least had the courtesy to make sandwiches or something—
Regulus’ thoughts are disrupted by the gauche giggling of James Potter from across the room. Then he sees his awful brother patting poor Remus on the back.
And so he has his answer. They certainly had something to do with this, Regulus is sure of it.
But why? Why would they do something like that? Do they not realize the importance of nutrition?
He thinks back on those questions. Of course they do not understand the importance of nutrition. He knows that Sirius would think something like this so funny. Regulus is not amused.
He is unbearably hungry, however, so he reluctantly eats a purple brownie along with a purple flavored milkshake. They don’t taste bad, per se, but it’s the principle of eating them that makes him furious.
He knows that someone in his class will complain to principal Dumbledore though, so he’s not too worried about the situation being corrected. But it annoys him; Sirius and James have no right to mess things up around the school. They cannot walk in and be kings two days later.
Or at least that’s what Regulus tells himself as he sees that James and Sirius have a large group of people crowding around the two of them. Some are dancers, some are hockey players. But regardless, they all seem enthralled with the fact that Sirius and James are simply talking. The twenty students surrounding them seem as though they would like to worship his ridiculous brother and his dimwit best friend.
Regulus hates this. He hates that his older brother has been in school for less than a week and is already better known than him.
That’s not to say Regulus isn’t revered and respected by most, he’s just not as approachable as Sirius. And mostly that is a good thing for Regulus, as he hates people, but sometimes Regulus wishes he knew how to talk to people. How to get people to love him, not fear him.
When he finishes his dessert dinner, Regulus decides to head to his dorm. His school has a weird setup. Its gates are located right outside a small Quebecian town. The school, however, is down a long winding road that goes up a small hill and down into a valley. The school consists of many buildings, but the dining hall, dorm, and classrooms are the main ones used.
There are four buildings for dorms, two for girls and two for boys. The boys dorm buildings are smaller, however, as there are more girls than guys at the school.
The scenery of the grounds is eloquent. Regulus has no other words to describe it. The school is situated near a lake, with mountains in the background. The caps already have snow on them, and the trees littering the horizon are a lovely contrast of white and green. Regulus is fearing winter, however, as he already knows that James and Sirius will be insufferable idiots who’ll demand to skate on the frozen lake every morning. He hopes one of them falls in.
Alas, the rest of the campus really is beautiful, the air littered with fireflies who light up the cobblestone pathways in the dark. Even when it’s fall and they should have already died.
Regulus is so enthralled in observing the grounds that he is horribly surprised when he runs smack into a dark figure.
“Hello, Regulus.” The boy says, seeming all too happy to see him.
“Severus.” Regulus returns. After his many years at Cherier, Regulus still is unsure of how to feel about the boy. Snape is not mean to Regulus, but he hangs around a crowd that Regulus doesn't.
“Funny seeing you here tonight,” He says.
“Well, we do go to the same school…” Regulus responds, confused about this whole encounter. He never has full conversations with Snape; they simply don’t have the same classes.
“What I meant was, I’m surprised you are walking alone at night this year, considering–”
Regulus wonders what he means; why does he sound so upset?
“I really am confused as to what you mean, Severus. Is there something I’m missing?” Regulus waits for his reply, a bit anxious. He hopes he hasn’t inadvertently angered anyone, though it’s highly possible that he has.
“You see Regulus,” Snape explains, “I know everything.”
Regulus glares at him.
Ah, that.
Of course they would have told him.
Regulus treads carefully on his next words, “I assure you, you do not.” He keeps a dangerous stare and tone however, to make sure Snape knows he is not to be messed with.
“I know enough. Enough to tear everything apart” Snape retorts.
Regulus attempts to keep his cool, as it is very possible Severus could end Regulus’ time at Cherier. “A bit melodramatic, no?” Regulus questions.
The lake’s small waves lap in the distance, holding them prisoner from silence.
Snape laughs, “Our situation last spring would be considered quite dramatic, though, would it not?” He looks too smug for Regulus’ liking.
“Who the hell is ‘our’?” Regulus snaps. He cannot tolerate omniscience anymore. “This was not your situation to begin with,” he continues, “therefore, don’t presume to know anything about.’”
“Well,” Snape fires back, “at least I’m not a criminal.”
The words are starting to sting him. He doesn’t want to acknowledge his actions, so he begins to walk away.
And then he turns back, because what can Regulus say? He’s an arrogant martyr.
“Next time,” he says, “tell Mulciber that if he wants to have it out with me, he needs to get his lazy arse off of that hospital bed and back into the ballet studio.”
Regulus continues to stalk away, not looking back to see Snape’s reaction, although he would’ve loved to. He thinks that Snape has said something back to him, but Regulus does not want to listen so he chooses to ignore it as he continues walking.
If he must be honest, he’s a bit shaken up from that whole trail of events by the time he gets back to the dorm building. Regulus had blocked last spring entirely out of his mind; he was crazy, they all were. He knows what he did was not ok. He knows that there should be repercussions for his actions.
He knows he should be sorry for what he did. And Regulus thinks he is sorry for what he did. He must be.
Part of the problem, however, is that Regulus has always known there was something rotten about him, something evil that was going to eat him from the inside out. And now he has the evidence to prove it; its first manifestation took place in May.
But Regulus is sorry, he decides, because he discovers himself crying as he walks back to his dorm. He actually has to take a minute to breathe in the hallway, because Barty and Evan can’t see him like this.
In and out. He sinks down to the floor of the hallway, bundling his knees to his chest.
In and out.
In and-
Regulus’ peaceful breathing exercise comes to a halt as he hears laughter down the hallway. He assumes there are two people there, as one is snorting and the other one is practically barking. Their obnoxious voices ring all the way down the corridor until Regulus can make out their features.
One is obviously Remus, and the other one, hidden behind him, is…
Regulus’ heart proceeds to somersault, do a 540, and then crash to the ground with a thunk.
His brother is here.
And off course, he’s too busy to notice Regulus as his eyes are locked on Remus.
His brother is doing something involving the lock on Remus’ door, though Regulus isn’t paying attention because he is too focused on the mere sight of his brother. He hasn’t seen him in a while. 776 days and 23 hours to be exact, but who’s counting?
The clock has been moved back to zero now that he’s here though, right in front of Regulus.
His first inclination is to study Sirius’ face. His brother has always looked older to him, but he seems especially different now. His eyes are brighter, his jawline is less sharp, and he has a bit of a stubble. He looks happy.
Regulus looks away and hides his face in his knees; he knows his brother is safe now, and that’s all that matters. It doesn’t change the fact that he hates him, however. It doesn’t change the fact that Sirius left him.
A loud bang makes him jerk his head up. Sirius has just done something with Remus’ door that has caused it to violently spring open.
“I told you I could do-” Sirius starts to yell with excitement, and then by chance he catches Regulus’ eyes.
The room begins to spin as the two boys just look at each other, acknowledging each other’s presence. Regulus is still crying, and Sirius is still mid-scream with his mouth wide open. Sirius goes alarmingly pale. His mouth stays open, and he does not move for a few long minutes. Regulus has never seen his brother more afraid, not even when he was being chased out of the house by their parents.
So, it is unsurprising to Regulus that Sirius’ next decision is to dart down the hallway, trying to outrun his ghosts.
Luckily for him, Regulus is quite a lazy ghost. He continues to sit on the floor and cry.
“Regulus?” A voice comes from down the hallway. Regulus looks up, thinking for one moment it might be his brother. But no, it’s not, because Regulus eventually recognizes the voice as Remus’.
Regulus looks up from where he is sitting, staring sadly at Remus.
Remus is one of the few people in school who Regulus finds tolerable. His kind yet shy demeanor and stellar dancing make him easily likable. However, Regulus will absolutely not go to him and pour his heart out. They’ve had plenty of talks before, but they’re by no means best friends; and from these talks, Regulus knows his tendency to accidentally trauma dump on Remus.
“Regulus?” Remus continues, “Are you alright?”
Regulus just sighs before running a hand across his face, “What do you think, Remus?” It comes out more tired than sarcastic.
“I think you might need a cup of tea.” Remus tells him. And to that Regulus almost laughs. Of course Remus is so kind that he would see a chap who’s nearly catatonic, ask him if he’s alright, and then invite him in for a cup of tea.
So maybe it’s because Regulus is lonely, or maybe he just needs a friend, but he pulls himself up from the ground and walks with Remus to his dorm.
As soon as he steps in, Regulus realizes he has never been in Remus’ room. Surely he would’ve remembered if he had, because it’s the nicest dorm he’s ever seen. Remus has a single this year, the lucky prat, which means there’s a fireplace instead of an extra bed. The warm room unfreezes Regulus’ cold hands, feet, and heart.
There’s also a small kitchenette, which is really just something Remus has constructed himself using a nightside table, drawers, a tea kettle, and a coffee pot. Regulus always took Remus as a tea person, but he probably has both in case his friends come in searching for coffee.
At night, Regulus is a tea person. If he drinks coffee he’ll decide it’s a good idea to stay up all night, peering at the stars through his window.
Regulus has taken shelter in one of Remus’ comfy green chairs near the fireplace as he waits for Remus to finish making the tea. When he does, Remus brings them both over a cup and sits down across from him.
“Rough day?” Remus asks, placing a sugarcube in his tea.
“You know I didn’t come here to talk.” Regulus responds, really not wanting to discuss his awful day.
“Well sure you didn’t, but I commonly find that those who say they don’t want to talk are actually the ones who need to talk the most.”
Goddamn Remus and his faultless advice.
Regulus sighs. “Just an average day of finally finding a long lost brother, having him look you in the eye, and then run away like you are the last person on the planet he has ever wanted to see.”
Remus looks astounded.“Sirius is your brother?!” He gasps, his mouth is dangling open.
“Yes, Remus.” Regulus pinches his eyebrows. “Did you not know?”
“Well, I didn’t even know Sirius’ last name, we just met today.” Remus simply says this as a fact, not trying to defend himself. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not like you ever should’ve met him. He just barged right into this school as some horrible twist of fate.” Regulus sighs again, thinking it his own personal motif-of-the-night.
“I-” Remus looks as if he is not sure what to say. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know your history with him, but I can tell you are upset. D-Did you even know he was coming?”
“Ha. That’s the fuck of it all, isn’t it?” Regulus says, swirling his tea mug, “Haven’t spoken to the prick in two years, and then he just pops up in my ballet class. We didn’t actually notice each other until tonight though.”
“And then he ran away…?” Remus asks, clearly perplexed as to why Sirius would run away from his own brother.
“Yes, that seems to be his thing.” Regulus says, watching as Remus furrows his eyebrows, obviously confused. Regulus doesn’t bother to explain, however, “Before I saw him, I was angry; I wanted him gone before an interaction between the two of us ever occurred. And now I’m even angrier because I want him to stay.”
Regulus has just watched Remus gently steal his heart from his chest and thoroughly excavate it, only by saying a few words. His manner is too disarming, and it makes Regulus want to lock all of his thoughts away from there on out.
But, fuck it, Regulus is so far gone. “I just don’t want him to leave me again.” He chokes.
Remus is so patient; he waits for Regulus to recollect himself by slowly putting more sugarcubes in his tea.
“Regulus, I am so, so sorry. This must be awful for you, to have to see your life uprooted by someone from your past. Someone you love.”
Regulus just nods, not bothering to correct Remus’ tenses.
Remus takes a moment of silence and then continues, “I’m sure if you talked to Dumbledore, he would be more than willing to move your schedule or classes around so you don’t have to see him.”
“He won’t.” Regulus says with finality.
Remus looks at him puzzled. “Why wouldn’t–”
Regulus cuts him off to answer. “You know why.”
It takes Remus only a short minute to realize. He looks down at his tea, clearly feeling awful for mentioning it.
Regulus isn’t sure how much Remus knows of what happened last May. He surely doesn’t know the whole story, as Regulus wouldn’t be here, sipping tea and pouring his heart out, if he did. Regulus thinks that Remus knows enough, knows he’s in trouble, but hopefully nothing else.
This is the first time they’ve really talked. So who knows, maybe they could be friends. And Regulus really doesn’t want to mess that up.
“Regulus,” Remus changes the subject, getting up to wash their tea mugs, “I won’t talk to Sirius if you’re uncomfortable with it.”
It’s truly a sweet offer. Regulus has decided he really likes Remus. But he can’t force Remus to do that; not when– back in the hallway– it looked like Remus lit up Sirius’ world.
“It’s alright, Remus.” Regulus responds, getting up to leave, “Truly. Our issues are personal, they’re familial. Even though I hate him, he’s so lovable. And I’d rather you choose to love him than hate him.”
Remus nods, stepping out of the bathroom with two clean mugs.
“Well,” says, “If you ever need to talk to someone again, I’m just two doors down.” Remus politely smiles at him, and Regulus gives him a slight smile back.
“Thanks, Remus. See you in class tomorrow.” Regulus closes the door, feeling indescribably better, and heads off to his own room, ready to laugh with Evan and Barty.