It Was Her

“Langga,”

Colet’s voice was soft as she approached the couch where Jhoanna was seated.

Jhoanna instinctively glanced around, checking if anyone else was in the dressing room.

“Wala sila, ga,” Colet reassured her with a small smile.

“Pumunta ng cafeteria, kakain daw.”

Without another word, Colet slipped onto the couch and snuggled against Jhoanna, resting her head on her shoulder.

“Di ka sumama?” Jhoanna asked, her eyes still focused on her iPad as she adjusted and arranged their group’s schedule.

Colet hummed, intertwining their fingers.

“Eh… couldn’t pass up the chance to have you all to myself.”

The softness in her voice made Jhoanna pause. She knew that tone—it was the one that always made her heart melt.

Jhoanna finally turned her full attention to Colet, a fond smile forming on her lips.

“Aww, ang sweet naman ng baby ko.” She wrapped her arms around Colet, pressing tiny kisses to her forehead.

Colet, in turn, burrowed deeper into Jhoanna’s neck, sighing contentedly.

They stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, savoring the rare quiet moment.

With their packed schedules, these stolen pockets of intimacy felt like gold—proof that, despite the chaos of their careers, they still belonged to each other.

“Sa condo ko ka mag-stay tonight,” Jhoanna murmured against Colet’s temple.

“10 AM ang sched natin bukas, so we can sleep in a little.”

Colet hummed in agreement, pressing a kiss to Jhoanna’s collarbone.

It was moments like these that made their relationship feel even more real, more genuine.

—

“Jho? Oy.”

Maloi’s voice yanked Jhoanna out of the memory.

She blinked, realizing she had been staring off into space.

“You okay?” Maloi asked, concern laced in her tone.

Jhoanna quickly composed herself, forcing a small smile.

“Uh, oo, Ate. Iniisip ko lang yung mga upcoming sched natin.”

Maloi narrowed her eyes, clearly not convinced. “Jho, okay lang talaga magpahinga. Promise.”

Jhoanna let out a small laugh. “Hahaha, oo naman, Ate. Ano ba, nagpapahinga naman ako.”

Maloi just shook her head before pulling Jhoanna into a warm hug.

Jhoanna leaned into it, but her mind was still elsewhere—stuck in a memory that she wasn’t sure she was ready to let go of.

Their schedule was back to normal—events, guestings, rehearsals.

The routine should’ve made things easier, but for Jhoanna, it only meant facing what she wasn’t ready for.

Earlier, she arrived at the studio shortly after Aiah, feeling a familiar nervousness creep into her chest.

The moment she stepped inside, she was met with Maloi’s teasing grin.

"Oh, nandito na pala ang mag-housemate," Maloi smirked, crossing her arms.

Jhoanna rolled her eyes playfully.

"Hello din sa’yo, Ate Maloi," she quipped before pulling the older girl into a hug.

"How are you guys?" Aiah asked as she made her way around the room, giving each of them a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Jhoanna followed suit, trying to act as natural as possible. But the moment she reached Colet, her movements became stiff, almost hesitant.

She didn’t want to make things obvious, not when the others were watching, so she forced herself to go through the motions—a quick hug, a brief peck on the cheek.

Colet, however, barely reacted.

The exchange was brief, but the tension in that small moment didn’t go unnoticed by either of them.

"Ayos na ayos!" Stacey chimed in, clapping her hands together.

"May pasalubong ako sa inyong lahat!"

"Wow, thank you, Stacey!" Aiah grinned.

"Except kay Jho! Nakalimutan ko siya eh." Stacey teased, sticking her tongue out at Jhoanna.

The group burst into laughter, Jhoanna included, though her heart wasn’t really in it.

They proceeded with rehearsals, settling into their assigned seats. Unfortunately for Jhoanna, that meant sitting beside Colet.

It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but today, the closeness felt unbearable.

Their elbows brushed. Their shoulders touched. Jhoanna felt a shiver run down her spine, and from the way Colet tensed up beside her, she knew she wasn’t the only one who felt it.

But then Colet shifted away—just slightly, just enough to create distance.

Jhoanna swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. It was a small movement, but it felt like a punch to the gut.

And then the rest of the day passed in a blur of recordings and choreography.

Finally, after hours of rehearsals, they were dismissed.

"Good work, everyone," Miss MQ said.

"Colet, stay for a while. You need to discuss your upcoming guest performance."

The girls erupted into cheers, congratulating Colet on landing such a big opportunity.

"Ginalingan mo kasi, Ate Colet!" Gwen grinned.

"Deserve!" Maloi added.

Jhoanna smiled, clapping along with the rest of them. She was genuinely happy for Colet. She deserved this—her dream was finally taking shape. But deep down, Jhoanna couldn’t help but think…

So this is what our breakup led to. At least hindi naman sayang ang sakit na nararamdaman namin.

She pushed the thought away and focused on her own meeting with Miss MQ regarding their schedules. As the leader, it was her responsibility to relay the details to the group.

Once their discussions wrapped up, Jhoanna stepped out of the building alongside Miss MQ and two of their staff members. Coincidentally, Colet also exited at the same time.

They walked together to the parking lot, and just as Jhoanna was about to bid goodbye to everyone, Ate Ry—one of their staff—spoke up.

"Jho, pwede bang isabay mo na si Colet?"

Jhoanna blinked. "Ha?"

"Dapat sana ako magsasabay sa kanya, pero since may dadaanan pa kaming dalawa bago umuwi, baka matagalan pa si Colet. Wala namang ibang diretsong pauwi maliban sa’yo."

Jhoanna hesitated. She stole a glance at Colet, who was already shaking her head.

"Ate Ry, okay lang. Mag-GRAB na lang ako," Colet said quickly.

Her response made the others pause, confusion evident in their expressions.

"Bakit pa? Jho and Colet lagi namang sabay ‘yan dati, tsaka along the way naman," Ate Ry pointed out.

The silence that followed was suffocating. Jhoanna could feel the weight of the group's stares, their curiosity thick in the air. She knew that if she refused, it would only raise more questions.

So before anyone could say anything else, she forced a smile and spoke.

"Okay lang, Ate Colet. Ano ka ba? Tara na." She turned to the others.

"Sige po, bye na po."

Without another word, she headed toward her car, unlocking it.

Colet followed hesitantly, offering a quick nod to the others before sliding into the passenger seat.

Jhoanna settled into the driver’s seat and started the engine.

Then silence.

Heavy. Unbearable.

Jhoanna gripped the steering wheel tighter, eyes straight ahead, feeling the presence of the woman beside her like a ghost from a past she hadn’t fully let go of.

Colet, on the other hand, stared out the window, her hands clasped together on her lap.

Neither of them spoke. Neither of them moved.

The tension sat between them, thick and suffocating—like all the words they wanted to say but couldn't.

As Jhoanna started the engine and began driving, the car was enveloped in silence.

Jhoanna had never been comfortable with silence—especially awkward ones—but this time, she couldn’t bring herself to break it. She didn’t even try.

So, it was Colet who spoke first.

"Uh… Jho, how are you?" Colet’s voice wavered slightly, but she tried to keep it steady.

"Okay lang, in all the ways that word can mean," Jhoanna replied, her eyes focused on the road.

After a short pause, she glanced at Colet. "Ikaw, Ate Colet? How are you?"

Colet stiffened at the title. Ate Colet.

They were alone—just the two of them. Jhoanna didn’t need to call her that.

Colet swallowed the sting in her chest and forced a small smile. "

Uhm… same. All good."

And then silence. Again.

Colet’s fingers drummed against her thigh, her foot tapping lightly against the floor mat. She hated the awkwardness.

Jhoanna noticed.

"So… you’ll be performing at Ate KZ’s concert. That’s nice. You deserve it." Jhoanna spoke this time, her voice softer.

Colet exhaled, grateful for the change of topic.

"Oo… kinakabahan nga ako. I still can’t believe I got invited." She chuckled nervously, though Jhoanna could tell she meant it.

"You can do it. I know you can. The girls believe in you. And, honestly, it’s not surprising that they invited you—you’re talented. You deserve this."

Jhoanna’s voice was warm, sincere.

And Colet felt it.

For a second, Colet allowed herself to look at Jhoanna, to take in the way she said those words so genuinely.

"Thank you, Jho." Colet said softly, her gaze lingering. She wanted to say more, but instead, she just sighed.

And then silence.

Not long after, they arrived at Colet’s condo. Jhoanna pulled up in front of the entrance, maneuvering the car the same way she used to—like muscle memory.

"We’re here," Jhoanna said, pulling the handbrake.

But Colet didn’t move. She made no effort to leave, no attempt to unbuckle her seatbelt.

Instead, she sat there, staring down at her hands.

"Jho…" she whispered.

Jhoanna swallowed hard. She already knew what was coming.

"I’m sorry."

The words came out broken, full of pain.

Jhoanna felt a sharp stab in her gut. She clenched her jaw, willing herself not to cry.

"I’m sorry—"

"Stop." Jhoanna cut her off, her voice quiet but firm.

Colet swallowed.

"Unless your apology can change what happened to us, then please… just stop." Jhoanna’s voice wavered, and no matter how hard she tried to sound strong, the hurt bled through her words.

Colet exhaled shakily.

"I have nothing else to say, Jho, except that I’m sorry."

Jhoanna turned away, gripping the steering wheel as if it was the only thing keeping her steady.

"Pwede ba akong humingi ng favor?" Jhoanna asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Colet stiffened. "Anything."

Jhoanna hesitated, then spoke.

"Can you please give me space? Just… in between the times we have to be together for the group. Because it’s already hard. It’s hard seeing you every day. And I have to. But if you can… please, huwag mo muna akong lapitan."

Her voice cracked. She turned away, hoping Colet wouldn’t see the silent tears slipping down her cheeks.

But her voice gave her away.

"Jho…" Colet choked back a sob.

Jhoanna finally turned to face her, her eyes glassy with unshed tears.

"Kung wala na rin namang mapupuntahan 'tong relasyon natin… then just please, give me this space."

Silence.

Colet nodded weakly.

And then, just above a whisper—so soft that Jhoanna barely caught it—Colet whispered, "I love you."

Jhoanna closed her eyes for a moment. She never knew her heart could hurt this much.

"Thank you, Jho," Colet said as she reached for the door handle.

She hesitated, glancing back—one last time.

But before she could say anything else, Jhoanna started the car.

And just like that, it was over.