Chapter 4
The letter comes a few days later. As Regulus returns from his walk down to the mailbox thumbing through the various envelopes his finger slides across one that's different from the others, for the first time in a while he can feel someone's magic pulsing through the paper. The most peculiar part of all, is that the magic feels oddly familiar. He steps inside the house quietly, as James was putting Harry down for his mid morning nap when he left, and finds James quietly pouring himself a cup of tea. James looks up at him as the door closes with a faint click
“Anything interesting come in the post?” James asked mindlessly while stirring cream and sugar into his drink. Regulus watches as James moves to sit on a stool placed by the island in his kitchen. Today he was dressed in one of his own jumpers that he had forgotten to take back from regulus years ago. It was a deep scarlet, much like the color of his house back at Hogwarts, and part of Regulus wondered where in the world he must've found it, as he distinctly remembered leaving it tucked away in a box clearly labeled “Do not touch”.
James looked up to meet the stare that regulus didn't even know he had, “Uh, Regulus? You okay mate?”, a look of concern quickly replacing the mindless one that had previously occupied his face.
“Yeah, I'm fine.” responded regulus quickly, before holding up the letter for James to look at, “This was in the post today, no clue who its from, but whoever it is i've met before, the magic is familiar, enough so that it did not alert my wards that there was an unfamiliar magical presence nearby.
James nodded silently, seemingly ignorant of the fact that Regulus had just accidentally admitted that James was somehow able to pass through the wards of the home without feeling it.
Regulus carefully opened the letter, slowly pulling out the piece of parchment within, and clearing his throat before reading its contents to James.
“Dearest Arcturus,
I hope this letter finds you well, and I apologize for its appearance out of the blue, but I had no other way to reach you without traceable magic. If i am correct, an old friend now frequents your home, and for his safety did not send a patronus to me following the events of 10/31. Please let him know that I was able to salvage some things, and following a response I am willing to make the journey to you. I’ve missed you dearly, and the wolf sends his love as well, but I fear that the safest way for us to keep contact for the moment is via the muggle post, as the eyes of war are still upon us. I look forward to hearing from you, prends soin de lui, c'est presque fini
Yours truly,
The Hardulph residence”
Regulus looked up at James, his heart racing, “This can't be good James, I don't know how they got this address or who they are. Bloody hell I've never even heard the name Hardulph in my life, maybe the two of you should leave-”
“No.” cut off James with a shaky breath, “There is no need for us to leave.” said James with a pause.
“But someone knows you're here, that Harry is here, you're in danger.”
“No, we're not Regulus.”
“How can you know that James?” demanded regulus, standing up with frustration.
“Because I know who sent the letter.” James looked up at regulus, “It’s Sirius, Regulus”
“What?” asked regulus, his voice barely a whisper
“It’s him. He and Remus have been living in France together for the past few months in hiding”
Regulus felt a sick feeling return to his stomach, “They had to go into hiding? I thought they were both active in the order.”
James looked at his mug, breathing deeply, “They were, until one night while Remus was with a pack undercover someone found his wedding ring, and word got back to the death eaters, who then told their supporters in the pack to take out Remus in hopes of drawing Sirius out. And it worked, thankfully they were able to get there in time, but it was a close call. So close that Sirius and remus walked out on the order, not before Sirius gave Dumbledore a piece of his mind that is. I think they went to some old property owned by your father in France and adopted a false last name.” He paused, “No one had heard from then since then, he only sent a patronus from time to time. They were both supposed to be coming down to Godric's Hollow to see Harry on the night everything happened.”
“Wedding ring?” whispered Regulus, “They got married James?”
James looked up, “Yeah, they did. In January.”
“I missed his wedding.” Regulus felt himself drop the letter to the ground. “I didn't even know.”
James stood up, taking a careful step towards regulus, “We were in the middle of a war Regulus, no one expected you too.”
Regulus felt tears start to come to his eyes, “Im his fucking brother Jamie. I-I was supposed to be there for him. But i wasn't. Because I ran. I ran like a fucking coward”
“You’re not a coward regulus”
“But I am. I ran away from it all. I was weak and couldn't handle the war. And n-now, Lily is dead, and you’re here, and i've only just found out about my brother’s marriage to another person i love 11 months too late.'' Regulus felt his hands enter his har, gently tugging and squeezing at his hair. “I ran and forgot that by doing so i'd be running from everything I love Jaime. I ran and didn't realize that by doing so i'd be forgetting how to live.'' Regulus closed his eyes as he heard the soft footsteps of James approaching him, and did not dare open them as he felt the body of James sink down to the floor next to him.
“You were never a coward for leaving reggie.”
“Then what was i James.”
“You were the only one brave enough too.”
Regulus opens his eyes to turn to James, “What?”
James looked back at him, “You were the only one who had the strength to leave regulus.” He takes a deep breath, “The only one who knew that the war wasn't worth fighting, not for the reasons we were fighting it for at least. And.” James paused, the words seemingly stuck in his throat.
“And what Jamie?” asked regulus gently.
A single tear spilled out of James's eye before he looked up at the ceiling to stop the rest from falling, “And you were the only one smart enough before it was too late. The only one smart enough to choose to live.”
Regulus felt more tears coming to his eyes too, as he tilted his head to the ceiling like James, “I didn't though.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, it didn't really feel like I was living at all without you.”
“Oh.”
“Mhm”
“Hey Reggie?” James whispered
“Yeah?”
“For what it's worth, I felt that way too.”
Regulus felt as if he was slowly sinking further and further into the ground. It took everything in him not to break down right there and then. “I know you did, Jaime, I really do.”
They both sat there for a while, silent, as there was no real need to fill the air with sound, the silence did enough talking for the both of them. Regulus sat and wondered, why this cruel world had decided that the only way to bring all that he missed so dearly back to him was by tearing the lives of those he loved to shreds.
And James, well James thought about the wedding of Sirius Orion Black to Remus John Lupin.
Contrary to popular belief, Remus had actually been the one to pop the question. Falling to a knee ring in hand as the clock struck 12 on new years eve the year before. Standing back up in a new year, and also with a new fiancee. Unbeknownst to James, Remus, Lily, or anyone else at the Potter’s new years eve party that night, when Sirius stepped out to the garden for a moment of fresh air, he was accompanied by a sky full of stars, with Leo shining the brightest of course.
They instantly began planning their wedding the very next day. Maybe it was the fact that it felt like the two of them were basically already married that made them want to hurry, or maybe it was the fact that there was still quite literally a war happening in the background. None of it really mattered, all that Sirius and Remus knew was that they were in love. And anyone who tried to hinder their celebrations would be damned. A few days later when remus asked lily to be his maid of honor and Sirius asked James to be his best man, James looked just as excited as Sirius had looked when remus had popped the question, with lily saying that he looked happier then he had on his own wedding day, which James quickly laughed off.
The ceremony was held in the potters backyard, with only a few friends invited, they had asked Mary Mcdonalld to officiate. It had actually been at Lily's suggestion, and she seemed quite happy to be reunited with her. It was a cold out, but the sky was clear, with the bright constellation once again shining high above Sirius and Remus as they exchanged their vows. Sirius wore sharp black trousers, with a cream dress shirt and Remus wore warm brown trousers and accompanied it with a similar shirt to Sirius. As they exchanged rings and kissed James could have sworn that he saw Mary from the behind Sirius looking at Lily with a sad smile on her face, but James found himself to be drawn to a particularly bright star in the constellation above him, so he didn't pay too much attention. Champagne popped as Sirius became Sirius Black-Lupin, everything was just as they would have wanted it to be.
And then it wasn't.
It was in march that Dumbledore had asked Remus to go undercover with a pack that had a history of supporting the dark lord. Remus being the selfless man he is, agreed to go, and Sirius spent the night he left over a toilet bowl. From that night on, Sirius often found himself ending his nights with a good amount of firewhiskey and cigarettes. He would often fall asleep next to the picture of Remus from his wedding night.
It was in April when they got the tip that Remus might be in danger. Sirius led the charge into the forest where they soon found a barely conscious remus bleeding on the ground, standing above him none other than Fenrir Greyback.
Sirius Black had made a promise when he was 12 that he would never cast an unforgivable curse.
That night he broke his promise.
By the time Sirius was done with him, Greyback lay bleeding in the spot where Remus had been moments ago, except his face was covered in so much blood that you could barely tell it was him.
That night Sirius stayed by Remus's side, and he did the same for the next week until he woke up. And when he did wake up Sirius stormed into the next order meeting, throwing the keys to Grimmauld place on the table, bidding harry, lily, and James goodbye, as he and remus got in a muggle cab to a location that only James knew, as he was their secret keeper (Per Sirius’s request).
James had talked to the two of them through the muggle post every week since then, only when James and Lily were forced into hiding did Sirius tell James that he should leave the order and go somewhere safe.
James had told him that they would be fine, that Dumbledore had promised they would be safe.
He was wrong.
And now James was sitting on the floor, with a man he had just reunited with a few days ago, but had loved for years. There he was, in a place he never thought he would have to be, hand resting cautiously on the smaller hand of the man beside him, and all he wanted was for everything to go back to how it used to be.
Before Lily's death.
Before Remus's near one.
Before the war, before Voldemort.
James just wanted to go back to a simpler time.
Where he was a schoolboy who suddenly saw his best friend's brother in a different light.
When he was just a boy who brought another boy a mug of hot cocoa.
When he was just a boy.
But he couldn't.
So instead, he sat on the floor, as a man, and held the hand of another man as he cried. And when the cries of Regulus died down and James could find the strength to stand he did, pulling Regulus into a tight hug as he did.
He got Regulus settled on the couch, where he quickly fell asleep, and then went to grab a pen, parchment, and envelope from the study.
He didn't know what to write at first, wanting to be vague enough to keep them safe, but also so they would know it was him, so he just wrote what first came to mind.
“Dear Hardulphs's
Come when you are ready, we will be waiting. The raven is breaking, but sends his love. I look forward to seeing your arrival.
Yours truly,
The stag”
James walked to put it in the outgoing box after sealing it up, wondering what one more arrival would do to the already fragile house on the sea. But it's not like he had a choice in it, so he just braced for impact, praying that they wouldn't drown.