Chapter 5
The next day James tells Regulus that he’ll head down to the market to pick up this week's groceries. In the entire time Regulus has known him, James has never been one to actively volunteer to go shopping, so naturally, Regulus thinks that he has gone mad. James, dressed in yet another one of his jumpers that had been collecting dust in Regulus's closet calmly told Regulus that he thought it would be good for him to explore the town, especially since he didn't plan on leaving anytime soon. Without waiting for a response James walked out the door, cheerfully jumping on a bike that Regulus left out by his front door and riding down the path into the distance. Though he thought it was quite rude for James to leave without waiting to see what Regulus wanted to say, he supposed it was for the best, as hearing James say the words “It’s not like we're leaving anytime soon” made all the air leave his lungs for a reason he couldn't place.
Not that he wanted to place it. Regulus Black was not one for expressing feelings like this aloud. Besides, he had much more important matters to attend to. For one, since the arrival of James he had found himself falling rather behind on the book he had been working on. The house was also in an incredible state of disarray, and well, Harry wasn't going to tend to himself.
Truth be told, Regulus never imagined that Harry would ever spend time in this house, let alone before he could only take a few steps before tumbling to the ground, the child couldn't even speak in full sentences yet, leaving regulus to have to quickly learn the ins and outs of the babbles that came out of the younger potters mouth.
There was a lot he had learned about Harry in the short time that he had been here. For instance, Harry, much like his father, seemed to be cursed with the messiest head of hair imaginable. From a distance it quite literally looked like the kid had a bird's nest on his head. Another thing that he learned about Harry is that unlike his father, he was quite an early riser, much like Regulus, a fact that Regulus had only learned that very morning.
It was around 6 am when he woke up. He shouldn't have been awake, the sun hadn't even yet entered the sky, but much like the previous nights since the unexpected arrival of James he found himself waking up at the same ungodly hour because something within him told him that it was best he be awake. So, much to his dismay, he got on with his day.
He kept a simple morning routine, one that he had had since his early Hogwarts days. First, he would stare at himself in the mirror for a good minute or two. He never really knew what he was looking for in his reflection, but he did know that once he found whatever it was, then and only then he could continue. On this particular morning it only took him all of about 45 seconds to find what he was searching for, then he turned on the faucet so he could splash his face with cold water. Growing up a pureblood had its downsides, but, Purebloods did tend to take their looks rather seriously, so from a young age he always had access to the best products. Even now after leaving much of the wizarding world behind, regulus still made sure to have shipments of a personalized facial soap and creme sent in from some witch in France that had longed serviced the house of Black with whatever products they pleased. After washing, drying, and applying the cream to his face, he quickly brushed his teeth, and pulled on a jumper he had laying at the bottom of his bed. He quietly stepped out of his room, expecting to find the hallway silent, but instead he found sound to be coming from the room across the hall adjacent to James's, the old storage room that had slowly been becoming Harry's new nursery. Regulus walked to the room, carefully opening the door so as not to wake Harry, only to find the child completely awake and staring back at him.
“It’s a bit early for you to be up, isn't it?”
Harry stared back at him wordlessly, instead opting to clumsily climb his way up so he was now using the edge of his crib to brace himself as he stared at regulus. Cautiously, he reached a hand up, pointing it towards regulus before making a grabbing motion with his hand.
Regulus stared at him confused, he had never really held Harry in his entire stay, and if he did it was only for a moment or two. “You want me to pick you up”
Seemingly understanding him, Harry smiled across the dark room at Regulus, waiting patiently for Regulus to cross the room and pick him up.
Though the floor was clearly made of wood, a fact that regulus knew quite well, for some reason it felt like it was made of landmines all of a sudden. One wrong move and all would be blown to bits. That was silly thinking though, at least that's what regulus told himself. He quickly crossed the room coming to the edge of Harry's crib. Harry's eyes never left his, shifting his gaze upwards to Regulus's as he got closer, and upon Regulus being as close as he could get, Harry stuck up his arms waiting to be picked up. It was at this point that Regulus completely forgot how to pick up a child, and therefore he handled Harry like he was the most expensive piece of porcelain in the world. This did not please Harry, as he soon rearranged himself so that he was burrowed into Regulus's chest, so much so that Regulus was sure that Harry could now feel his heart beating as fast as Regulus could.
Regulus inhaled deeply, “Okay, this is fine, I can do this”. He snuck a look down at the raven haired boy that was now curled against his chest before taking another deep breath. “Okay, I can do this only if I get some tea in my system or else I might throw up, and that wouldn't be good, would it hurt?”
Once again Harry didn't respond, which was more than fine by regulus. He appreciated the silence, especially early in the morning, and as he was slowly learning, Harry was rather quiet all the time. Regulus had also been rather quiet as a child, a fact that his brother would often poke fun at. But, both of them knew why he was a quiet child. It was the same reason Sirius had become one by the age of five. And as Regulus started down the stairs, it made him sick to think that Harry might have found solitude in silence for the same reasons he did.
Upon entering the kitchen, Regulus pulled out his wand to get the kettle started on the stove as he placed Harry into his highchair that he had pulled out of storage a day into James's stay. This was for sure a black family heirloom, that face could be deduced by its rather regal design, and the fact that it had his initials engraved into the back only proved the assumption more. As the kettle slowly warmed on the stove, regulus opened a drawer to pull out a spoon he could feed harry with and opened a cupboard to grab him some food he had picked up at the store the other day, closing it to find himself staring at a calendar that told him it was now the 6th of November.
Six days since his life had changed once again, and three since the birthday of his beloved brother who had announced he planned to saunter back into his life only yesterday.
On the night of his birthday, Regulus had found himself tucking another present he never expected to give into the drawer in his study; there were two of them now. He had missed his brother's birthday two years in a row. Also there was a wedding gift, not just for Sirius, but one for Remus two. Four presents that he truly thought may never be opened. He'd be lying if he said he didn't go to bed that night a bit teary eyed, but not after he had a smoke outside under the ever bright dog constellation like he had the year before. If only he knew that the story he would find himself living only days later was much different then the one he thought he was living when he went to bed that night.
Regulus was brought back to reality with the impatient sigh that came from harry. His lack of patience was definitely something he inherited from james. Taking the kettle off the stove and pouring himself a cup of tea he sat himself in front of Harry and began feeding him, something that the small child took immense delight in. As he fed him, Regulus flipped through an old volume of poetry by Edgar Allen Poe gifted to him by Remus during his last year at Hogwarts. The book was worn, regulus’s memories creased into the spine and mementos tucked between the pages. He read the book so often that it was opened to the page he frequented the most. Coincidently, it was the one that Poe’s poem “the Raven” began on. It was one of Regulus's favorites, but it was probably a bit long for Harry, so he flipped forward a couple pages until he landed on the page where another one of his favorites started.
“Would you like to hear a poem harry?” regulus asked, gazing over to Harry who had a mixture of pumpkin puree around his lips.
The young child clapped his hands and smiled at Regulus, “I'll take that as a yes then.”
Regulus set down the spoon he was using to feed Harry and used his wand to send it to the sink and clean the chair before whipping Harry's face. With just as much care as earlier he placed the child in his lap, Harry leaning back onto his chest as Regulus held the book in front of the two of them. He cleared his throat as he began,
“Alone
By Edgar Allen Poe
From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring—
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow—I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone—
And all I lov’d—I lov’d alone—
Then—in my childhood—in the dawn
Of a most stormy life—was drawn
From ev’ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still—
From the torrent, or the fountain—
From the red cliff of the mountain—
From the sun that ’round me roll’d
In its autumn tint of gold—
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass’d me flying by—
From the thunder, and the storm—
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view—”
Regulus took a breath upon finishing, “What do you think harry? Did you like it”
The child smiled up at him once again, before mumbling out a barely coherent “ tank u”
Regulus smiled down at him, “Of course, i'll read to you anytime you wish”
“Does that extend to me as well?” a voice from behind Regulus said gently.
Regulus turned around in surprise, finding James to be leaning on the counter holding a cup of tea. “When did you get in here?”
“Around the third line, but i didn't want to interrupt you, i enjoy when you read things, in fact i missed it quite a bit.”
“Oh”
“Yeah, that's how I feel about it too.” James whispered, cheeks going a bit pink, “Thank you for taking care of Harry, I didn't even hear him wake up this morning.”
Regulus struggled to get a good breath, “Of yeah of course, it is really no big deal. He’s quite a calm baby, so.”
“Yeah,” responded James, “I know he is, that's why I wasn't worried about him giving you too much of a hard time. Even if he wasn't, I bet you could handle him rather well.”
Once again, Regulus found himself struggling to breathe, “Oh. well. Maybe. I don't know, to be honest, I haven't spent a lot of time around kids.”
James hummed in agreement, “I suppose that's true.'' He drank the last of his tea while walking to the door, before saying that he was heading down to town, leaving Regulus still out of breath in the kitchen holding a now sleepy looking Harry.
Regulus sighed and stood up, holding Harry up so they were at eye level. “Your father is going to be the death of me little one. You need to get him into line.”
Harry giggled and Regulus placed him on his hip as he walked Harry to his room to lay him down for a morning nap. As soon as he was asleep regulus pulled his hair into a small bun, it really was getting out of hand, he was quite overdo for a haircut. Soon he was going around the house, cleaning each room. Before he knew it it was already a quarter to 10 and as he finished cleaning up the living room James came stumbling through the door, cheeks flushed and arms filled with bags. Before regulus could get a word in James began rambling,
“Reggie, you didn't tell me how lovely the town is!” James set down his bags on the counter before taking a seat in a stool and continuing on. “ Everyone is so friendly and in the market they had everything imaginable and if someone there even had a dog with them. It was a little lab mix by the looks of it and its name was spot and his owner, her name is Margaret, she let me pet him and then Margarets girlfriend came over holding, you'll never guess, another dog! Its name was Spar- wow”
Regulus turned to face James, as he had been busy closing the door that James had quite rudely flung open, “Wow what James?”
James took a shaky breath, “I've never seen you with your hair up.”
“Oh” responded regulus, “It's a bit of a mess, usually i would have gotten it cut by now but i've been distrac-”
“I dont think it's a mess,” said James softly, “in fact I think it looks quite nice.”
“You really think so?”
“Yeah, I do” responded james, a smile creeping across his face, “especially with my jumper on”
“Your what on? I'm not wearing your jump-” replied Regulus before stopping and looking down at his chest only to realize that the jumper he had hastily put on earlier in the morning was in fact James's, a fact that was only emphasized by how it was a bit oversized on regulus.
Regulus felt his cheeks redden, “I don't know how that ended up in my room, you can have it back.'' He began pulling it off only for James to stop him by grabbing his wrist, his tanned hand enveloping Regulus's pale wrist.
“Keep it, it looks good on you.” said James, his hand still holding Regulus's wrist.
“You sure?” asked Regulus in return.
“Positive.” responded james.
The two sat in silence for what could've been two seconds or two hours, never breaking eye contact, still touching. The heat of James contrasted the cold of Regulus, and Regulus could've sworn that he found himself moving closer to James when suddenly the sound of an engine could be heard coming from outside. James dropped Regulus's wrist, and Regulus was shocked to find that he felt the absence instantly, but that was all forgotten when he heard the engine get closer, the rumbling like only one engine he had ever heard before. Though nothing was spoken, both James and Regulus were thinking the same thing.
Sirius Black had arrived.