Chapter 1
Regulus Black had always been a sort of skeptic.
For as long as he could remember, he never could seem to believe that anything that happened had any real purpose, or good behind it.
As a result, he never really seemed to believe that anything that happened in his life was good, it only got worse as he got older.
When he was sorted into Slytherin all those years ago, part of him wondered if the hat had been wrong. He could have sworn the hat barely graced his head before crying out, though he learned to see it as a blessing. Especially after seeing Sirius name burned off the tapestry, and the rage in his parents eyes while reading the letter Sirius had sent on the night of his sorting the year before, he would have never lived through something like that. But despite that, on the night of his sorting, Sirius seemed to cheer the loudest out of the entire hall, his cheers echoing as he walked towards his new house. Yet Regulus couldn't help but wonder why he was sorted there. He was far from ambitious, and was not in any sort of way resources, and he begged the hat to put him with his brother, but the hat hadn't listened, whispering to him before being removed
“You belong in Slytherin my boy, the fact that you made it here proves it”
He still didn't believe it though. He thought the hat was mad. In fact, Regulus thought a lot of things about his Hogwarts experience were quite mad. Like how that Christmas of his first year, when he decided to stay at the castle after a particularly bad fight with his mother, he found himself gazing quite often at his brother's best friend, James Potter. Regulus and James had never spoken much at that point. It would've been quite odd for the young prince of Gryffindor and the heir to the noble house of black to be caught in conversation. So Regulus watched from afar, as James sang carols with Sirius, Remus, and the young Peter boy who always followed them around. He watched as he ate far too much roast and complained loudly about how he felt he was going to burst. He watched as his brother and James snuck out to the quidditch pitch on one particularly snowy night for a flight, only to come back in after being caught by Mcgonagall with bright red ears and noses from the cold. And he watched as one night, while Regulus sat in the library reading a book about plants in the forbidden forest as a young James potter, hair a mess and glasses askew walked over to him, two cups of coco in hand and sat in the unoccupied chair in front of him. Regulus looked over his book cautiously, “Can I help you?” he said with a curious look in his eyes.
“I don't know the answer to that just yet” Said James, checks flushed as if he had just been running up the stairs. “You’re Regulus, right?”
“Yes, and you’re James.”
“Indeed I am” answered James as he smiled, eyes studying Regulus curiously, “Oh, here, I brought you some coco, Sirius said he had never had it before but he loved it so I assumed you had not either, so I got you some to try.”
Regulus eyed the cup suspiciously as James pushed it towards him. He set his book down and carefully lifted the cup to his lips under the watchful eyes of James. When the warm liquid touched his tongue he could have sworn he saw stars, no wonder Sirius had liked it so much. As he sat there guzzling down the cup James watched, seemingly occupied by thought. He took a breath before speaking again “Sirius says he's named after a constellation, is your name a constellation too?”
Regulus paused, taken aback by such a personal question, asked by a boy he only knew through passing glances. He put his mug down and cleared his throat. “Yeah actually, I am. All members of the house of black are named after stars. Sirius is named after the brightest star in the dog constellation. While I'm named after the brightest one in the Lion constellation”
James hummed in approval while taking another drink, the coco leaving a small stain around his lips, “that's sort of funny you know, being named after the lion constellation but being in the house of snakes”.
“It is a bit odd I suppose, but it does make a bit of sense, I've alway felt a bit like I'm not in the place I'm supposed to be.”
James smiled softly, gazing down at his hands, “yeah, I understand that. But I've always sorta thought that when we feel out of place that's exactly where we are supposed to be.”
Regulus felt his chest tighten, like his clothes had shrunk two sizes in a matter of seconds.
The snow on the window panes got louder, the cup in his hand seemed heavier.
And now, for the first time ever, Regulus black found himself looking at James Potter in a different way, not just as Sirius's best mate.
He saw a boy, who didn't know who he was, or who he was supposed to be. A boy who saw no issue between a Gryffindor talking to a Slytherin. A boy who saw regulus black as something other than the heir to the noble house of black.
That was the first time the two really saw each other. And both seemed to let out a sigh they didn't know they were holding.
“Maybe you’re right Potter,” said Regulus with a smile creeping upon his lips, “Maybe you're right”.
He looked at James for the first time, and found himself staring into perhaps the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. They were warm with little golden flecks dotting the dark brown that surrounded his irises. He looked at James as he smiled, and learned that when he did little creases would form around his eyes, and that he had a small scar above his left eye that seemed so out of place among the smoothness of the rest of his face.
The whole time, James stared at Regulus in the same manner, almost as if he was counting the freckles that splattered across his cheeks, just like one would count the stars in a constellation. He licked his lips before standing up.
“Well, I'm glad you liked the coco. Sirius now owes me a knut because he claimed you wouldn't like it but as i told him, everybody likes hot cocoa.” James smiled down at Regulus as he continued, “Listen, I know we don't really know each other that well, but with your brother being my best mate I figure we should. Besides, you actually seem pretty cool, so, if you ever want to hang out, just let me know”.
Regulus smiled and picked up his book again, “Yeah, I think I'd like that.” He cleared his throat before continuing, “It was nice meeting you Potter”
“Right back at you black, i'll see ya around”
“Okay, until next time then”
As James walked out of the library regulus couldn't help but watch him leave, wondering what strange twist of fate had led James Potter to him that night, because well, regulus was quite the skeptic, and couldn't help but think a there might have been more of a reason behind the visit then a bet with his older brother.
That night Regulus couldn't sleep, he tossed and turned in his bed and couldn't close his eyes without seeing his brother's best friend. With his messy hair and stupid glasses. His crooked smile and eyes that were the color of oak. And even the skeptic determined that the interaction in the library had been nothing but friendly.
Oh how wrong he was.
If you had told first year regulus black that three weeks later he would find himself sitting in the astronomy tower showing James Potter the stars he would have called you mad.
If you had also told him that three more weeks later he'd find himself spending more time with not just James, but his brother and the rest of his friends that now called themselves the Marauders he would've thought you were lying.
If you had told second year regulus black that after a particularly bad hit during the first Gryffindor vs. Slytherin quidditch match of the season that the star Gryffindor chaser would be right there beside him along with his brother in the infirmary when he woke up he would've thought you were just making it up.
And if you told him that later that year he would become an illegal animagi with his brother, James, and peter for remus, who he learned to be a werewolf he might have fainted. Though he may have believed you when you said he made quite the striking raven he might have believed you (His ego came in around second year).
If you had said that in his third year, he would find himself alone in a corridor on Christmas, under the mistletoe with James Potter he would freak out, especially upon finding out that James was quite the kisser.
Fourth year is one that regulus has a love hate relationship with. It was the year that he discovered his love for poetry. It was also the year that James decided that it was maybe better if they just were friends. If you had told him that they had ever been anything more he would have laughed like a maniac.
And in his fifth year, Regulus wouldn't have believed you if you told him that he actually missed James Potter, missed the way his hair felt in his hand. He wouldn't have believed you if you told him that by Christmas time James would announce he was officially with Lily Evans, a red head that Regulus knew far too well and loved like a sister.
His six years was a long one, but he wouldn't believe that either. It would be the last year of the marauders year at Hogwarts, and the first year in which the threat of war became all too real. He wouldn't believe you if you told him that his best and worst memory from that year was the one in which he and James snuck off to the astronomy tower to stare at the stars, and he would pull out a small box and show him the ring he planned to give to lily. He wouldn't believe you if you told him that that night he drank so much firewhiskey and stayed up until 3 am puking his guts out because he missed James that much.
Regulus would also not believe you if you told him that in his seventh year, he would become a member of Dumbledore's order of the phoenix on request of James and Lily Potter, whose wedding he had attended in the spring. He would not believe you if you told him that he would agree to be a spy for the order that same year, attending death eater meetings not as regulus black, the boy who has once fallen for James potter and loved him and his friends to death, but as regulus black, son of Walburga, heir to the Noble House of Black.
It would be quite hard for him to believe, that the very next year, after far to many close calls and scars across his body that James Fleamont Potter would be the one to encourage him to leave the order, to run away to some far away place in Wales where he wouldn't be found and to finally live a life free of the conflict that he had come to find himself immersed in. That year he would start going by his middle name, Arcturus, and adopt the last name Raven, after his animagus form. Though he would be pleasantly surprised to learn that he did listen to James, and would go on to publish a volume of his poetry under the name Arcturus Raven, and that he would indeed find himself living in a cottage in the south of wales, so close to the coast that the air tasted of salt. That same year he would get a letter from James saying he had had a son, named Harry, and that the war was so bad that they would soon have to go into hiding. Regulus would be shocked to learn that that night he again found himself throwing up to the point of passing out. He’d also be surprised to learn that James was one of two people he would tell the location of his new home (the other being his dear brother Sirius who he hadn’t spoke too in a while).
And most surprising of all, if you had told the regulus that had once just been a boy that on the 31st of October 1981 a bleeding James Potter would appear on his doorstep carrying nothing but his wand and his young child, well Regulus would have called you mad.
Because Regulus Black was quite the skeptic, and he would refuse to believe anything was true until he saw it before him with his own eyes.
And much to his horror, the sight of a blood covered James Potter clutching onto a screaming baby, was far too real.
The shaking of James and the way his voice barely came out as a whisper when he said “Reggie, Lily's gone. All I could do was curse him grab Harry and run” was far too real.
The picture of James fast asleep in the guest room, with Harry asleep next to him, still covered in blood and ash was oh so real for him.
So real that it made him sick all over again.
The only thing that wasn't real, was the headline of the prophet he picked up early the next day, when he went out to pick up some stuff for James and harry. A picture of a home that was in ruins covered the front, with the headline right under it.
“WAR IS OVER”
Regulus did a double take when he saw it, especially when he saw the caption under the image.
“The bodies of Lily Potter and the Dark Lord were found in the Potter House late last night. James Potter and Harry Potter are also presumed to be dead, their bodies burning in the remnants of the house before aurors could respond. More to come as we get updates”
Yet when he returned to his home, there was a very much alive James and Harry Potter, and just like many other times in his life, Regulus would not believe it if you had told him that this is what his future held.