WORMTAIL?
Dearly beloveds
[7:30]
Wife: she sent a heart???
Husband: Yes I read your mind and know exactly who we’re talking about
Wife: keep up reg
Wife: Lily
Husband: Right, and you’re freaking out because
Wife: well this was after she shot down my way too forward offer
Wife: maybe she doesn’t hate me after all?
Husband: Ah look, you got there in the end
Husband: Now the other reason you’re freaking out
Wife: other reason?
Wife: no other reason
Husband: You almost got there in the end
Wife: i have no idea what you mean
Husband: I have not got the time to unpack all of that
Husband: We have class
Husband: Now go get ready, why did you pause doing your hair
Husband: Are you trying to show up with only half of it curled
Wife: how did you know i was curling my hair?
Wife: stalker
Husband: 🙄
Husband: You only do it this time every morning
Wife: aww you just remembered
Husband: Hard to forget when you wont stop accosting me
Wife: you mean being your friend?
Husband: Sure whatever you want to call it
Wife: we all know you love me
Wife: that’s okay
Wife: secret time
Wife: I love you
Wife: and your little huffy cat attitude thing
Husband: I do not have a huffy cat attitude
Husband: Friendship over
Husband: (Ilyt Dora)
Hottest of Hoggywarts
[14:00]
Pete: as we all know
Pete: a very important occasion is approaching
Barty: I have no idea what he’s talking about but im in
Pete: thankyou barty
Pete: my new ride or die
Mary: HEY
Emmeline: It’s okay Mary I got you
Pete: anyway important occasion
Pete: it is the most important day of the year on Sunday
Barty: PETER YOUR BIRTHDAY
Barty: AND YOU DIDN’T GIVE US ANY WARNING
Evan: the way barty immediately knew “the most important day of the year” was peters birthday
Barty: why of course
Barty: nothing brings me more joy than celebrating that adonis of a man
Pete: you flatter me
Barty: and I hope it’s working 😉
Barty: i’m still mad you gave us no time for gift shopping
James: Worms doesn’t accept gifts
Evan: WORMS???
James: It’s his nickname from secondary school
James: I’m Prongs
James: Sirius is Padfoot
James: and Remus is Moony
Barty: pete you come here and join our friends
Barty: I promise we will never call you worms
Pete: you can take me
Pete: no complaints
Sirius: WORMTAIL YOU WOUND ME
Evan: WORMS WASN’T THE FULL THING
Evan: I am backing bartys offer
Lily: They forgot the best bit
Mary: THE MARAUDERS
Mary: they called themselves the marauders
Pete: ah yes
Pete: good times
Pete: anyway back to me
Pete: party.
Barty: you know i was slightly (half, only a little bit) joking before
Barty: but no i think i want you bro
Pete: you can have me bro
Evan: take it to a priv chat
Mary to Evan
[14:11]
Mary: is that jealousy I smell
Evan: How in God’s name would you know that
Evan: We talk pretty much solely through the gc
Evan: and the bio class we have together Barty isn’t even in?????
Mary: I have my ways
Mary: also I take it I’m right
Evan: ….
Evan: how do you just know everything
Mary: I’m magic
Hottest of Hoggywarts
Barty: don’t worry loverboy
Barty: there’s enough of me to go around
Evan: Like I would want it <3
Mary to Evan
Mary: You’re so great at getting your feelings across
Mary: wow Evan, I applaud you
Mary: that was sarcasm if you couldn’t tell
Evan: Yes, thankyou Mary
Peter to Barty
Peter: he sent a heart
Peter: how are you doing
Barty: he sent a heart
Peter: did you even read the rest of the message?
Barty: he sent a heart
Hottest of Hoggywarts
Regulus: Barty heel
James: Hi Reg!
Regulus: Hi James
Barty: hey reg
Regulus: Regulus.
Lily: My God
Lily: Anyway
Lily: Peter your party
Lily: Do tell
Pete: costume party
Pete: in pairs
Pete: wormys choice
Pete: with Mary’s professional assistance
Mary: FUCK YES.
Pete: Saturday night
Pete: because all of you alcohol drinkers will be hungover and no one wants that on a Monday
Regulus: Please tell me you mean you have weed
Pete: I mean I have weed
Regulus: Peter my love
Remus: 💀
Sirius: Peter you’re not to let my little brother anywhere near that
Regulus: I’m sorry????
Remus: Padfoot you have no ground to stand on here
Sirius: HE IS A CHILD
James: He’s 11 months younger than you
Sirius: hush you
Sirius: you only say that because you’re all smitten or whatever
Regulus: What
James: What
Sirius: he is my BABY BROTHER
Sirius: and he will not be near any such substances
Sirius: are we clear
Lily: Are you quite finished?
Sirius: I think so
Regulus: Good
Regulus: So anyway, Peter shall I send you some money
Pete: don’t be ridiculous
Pete: no need
Sirius: 😑
Remus: padfoot let him be
Remus: he is grown
Remus: he will do what
Remus: (or whom)
Remus: he pleases
Regulus: Thankyou Remus
James: What Remus said
James: Though I’m not following the relevance of (or whom)
Lily: James you sweet summer child
Regulus: ANYWAY enough of all that
Regulus: Do you know our pairs?
Pete: all in due time Reggie my boy
Pete: all in due time
Lily to Pandora
[17:30]
Lily: Look Pandora I’m sorry for how I reacted last night
Lily: I don’t ever want you to think I actually hate you or something
Lily: I just wasn’t really expecting it
Lily: and I hate to think it was so obvious I was struggling
Pandora: Lily you really have no need to apologize
Pandora: i’m sorry i butted in
Pandora: we’re not close and it wasn’t my place to offer
Pandora: if it helps i don’t think it was that obvious really
Lily: But you could tell
Pandora: but I could tell
Pandora: you practically maul your lip when you’re stuck
Lily: You noticed that
Pandora: i guess i did
Lily: We could be you know
Lily: Close I mean
Lily: and I did really appreciate the offer
Lily: Would love to accept it if it still stands
Pandora: i’d love nothing more
Lily: Alright
Lily: Thankyou Pandora
Pandora: Of course
Pandora: now we should both go get our readings done
Pandora: <3
Lily: <3