Chapter One
“Welcome to the third and final task in the Triwizard Tournament!” Barty Crouch Sr. announced to the eagerly awaiting crowd. If one were to look deeper into the crowd, they would see a worried Sirius and Remus Lupin and an even more worried James Potter.
“I still don’t understand why they allowed Bambi to compete,” Sirius muttered.
“Because the fucking goblet of fire wouldn’t cooperate with them if he didn’t,” James said, rolling his eyes. “Don’t ask me the logistics of it because it’s all fucking illogical.” The horn blared, and suddenly, the champions were off into the maze.
“Why in the world are we even here?” Remus whispered. “We can’t even see into the maze.”
“That’s probably why,” James said, nodding towards a screen that was currently showing all four of the champions, but James’ eyes were only on his son.
When James had first gotten the letter that Harry was competing in the tournament, he had apparated into Hogsmeade and marched right into Hogwarts, trying to find his son. Once he had successfully done so and had heard what had happened with the goblet, the next stop he made was Dumbledore’s office. And man, had Harry regret following his father there. James had yelled and yelled about how outrageous it was that the goblet had even allowed his son to enter when he was underage and when Harry had pointed out that he hadn’t been the one to put his name in it, James had gotten even more angry. There was a reason that Harry’s temper was as bad as it was, and it definitely wasn’t just because he was a teenager.
“Did Krum just use the cruciatus curse on Diggory?” James asked, his voice low. When he saw Sirius and Remus nod as the color drained out of their faces, he got even madder at Dumbledore. If this Krum guy gets near his son and tortures him, it would be the end for Karkaroff.
James hated Karkaroff and had ever since the war. He had gotten off extremely easy, with only a year in Azkaban and parole for an additional year. Karkaroff had been there when Marlene was killed. He had been there when the Prewett twins died. Needless to say, James wasn’t the biggest fan of the guy.
“Are you fucking with me,” Sirius’ long drawl pulled James out of his thoughts. “Harry, just grab the fucking cup, don’t wait for Cedric to do it together.”
“To be fair, I’m pretty sure he and Harry have a thing,” Remus shrugged. At the looks his husband and best friend gave him, he elaborated. “Just the energy I get from Harry when he talks about him. I could be wrong.” He just rolled his eyes. Suddenly, the screen went all static-y, and the image of his son and his apparent boyfriend touching the Triwizard cup disappeared from the screen.
“What the fuck just happened?” James asked. “The maze was supposed to disappear once they touched the cup. Where the fuck is my son?”
“Prongs, calm down,” Remus tried and failed to calm him down.
“I will absolutely not be calming down. Where the fuck is Harry?” And suddenly, James was running down the stands and to Dumbledore. At some point Harry’s friends, Hermione and Ron, had started to follow him. “Albus! Where the fuck is my son?”
“I’m not sure, Mr. Potter,” he said in an unexplainable calm voice. “We’re trying to locate him now. Since he has the trace, if he uses magic, we should be able to find him.”
“You and I both know that’s bullshit. That isn’t how the trace works,” he snapped. As soon as the words left his mouth, his son appeared a few feet away from him on the ground, sobbing over Cedric. At a closer look and after someone– Fleur based on the sound of it– screamed, James realized that Cedric wasn’t moving and that his son was sobbing ‘he’s back, voldemort, he’s back.’ And at that moment, James’ heart dropped as he realized that his wife’s murderer was resurrected and took yet another victim. His heart then broke, hearing Amos’ screams. “Harry!” James yelled over all of the noise. Harry’s head whipped around, trying to find him, and as soon as his vision settled on his father, his face relaxed the tiniest bit, but his sobs became louder.
James ran as fast as he could to his son’s side, reaching him in about three seconds and then scooping him up into a crushing hug. “Aabe,” he sobbed. “He’s– he’s dead!”
“I know, Harry,” he mumbled into his son’s hair. “I know. I’m so sorry, Bambi. I’m so, so, sorry.”
“Mr. Potter,” Dumbledore said from behind them. “Harry needs to go with Alastor to the defence classroom to get cleaned up before going to the hospital wing. You are not allowed to go with him as I need to speak with you.”
“I’ll come find you as soon as I can,” James whispered. Harry pulled out of the hug and nodded. He then found Moody and left with him. “What did you need to speak to me about?”
“As you probably heard Harry saying, Voldemort has been resurrected. I’m going to be establishing the Order of the Phoenix once again, and I was hoping that you’d join it as you did all of those years ago.”
“Albus, a boy was just murdered and you’re worried about the order?” James scoffed. “I’ll think about it,” and then he walked away to find his son.
James’ first reaction was to refuse to join immediately. The Order did him no good the first time around. In fact, it did him more harm than good as his friends ended up murdered and his wife not too far behind them. But then again, the Order may be able to help keep Harry safe, as it seems that he’s never safe at any given point in time, no matter the time and place.
James had gotten to the defence room to hear yelling from the inside of it. Once he heard Harry’s voice sounding frightened, he burst into the room to find Moody pointing his wand at him.
“Back the fuck away, Moody,” James said, raising his wand. He heard him sigh, but he ultimately backed away. When Moody turned around and saw that it was James that stood there, a flash of surprise flitted across his face. “You aren’t Moody,” he realized, and it was confirmed when the man smirked at him.
“How’d you figure it out, Potter?”
“Moody doesn’t let his emotions show,” he said, not lowering his wand for a moment. “You just let surprise show. But I can’t for the life of me figure out who you actually are and why you were surprised to see that it was me here.”
“Of course, you don’t know who it is,” he scoffed. “That’s the entire fucking point, you absolute idiot.” Then, quick as ever, his face twitched, a movement that was so eerily familiar that it freaked James out to no end, but he couldn’t place where he had seen it before. Just then, Snape burst into the room with Sirius, Remus, and McGonagall not far behind.
“Calm yourself, Severus,” James said. “Do you know who this is? Because it certainly isn’t Mad-eye.”
“Yes, I know who it is,” he drawled. “I’m more surprised that you haven’t figured it out yet.” Then, Snape forcefully poured something down the man’s throat, and suddenly, it wasn’t Mad-eye Moody sitting there. It was someone else who James was uncomfortably familiar with at one point in time.
“Okay, what the actual fuck,” he breathed out. “Barty? You’re still alive?”
“Yes dipshit, I’m still alive,” he snorted. “Unlike your little lover boy. But you don’t care about him, do you?” James saw red.
Not many people knew about who he was with during his fourth and fifth years. Only three other people knew, Barty, Evan Rosier, and Remus. Now, other people, including his son, would know as well. And he despised Barty for it. At one point, they had been something of friends. But now? Now, James was staring at death eater scum.
“Unlike yours too if I remember correctly,” James replied, quirking an eyebrow. Every time James had run into Barty after his death, he would use it against James. And when it was happening he hadn’t been as fed up with life as he had been at that very moment. So yes, maybe that was a bit of a low blow considering neither of the two had any room to talk about dead exes, but James couldn’t help himself.
“Don’t say a word about Evan,” he snapped.
“Don’t say a word about Reggie then,” he retorted, ignoring the sharp intake of breath that he heard from his brother. “Severus, can you take him out of here?” Snape gave him a confused nod, yanked him up, and pulled him from the room. As soon as he was gone, James went over to Harry, who had been sitting so silently that they all forgot that he was there. “Are you alright?”
“No,” he snorted with absolutely no humour in his voice. “I just saw my– Cedric die.”
“If he was your boyfriend, you can tell me,” James said quietly, pulling him into a hug. “As you’ve just learned, I had a boyfriend at one point.” Harry was silent a minute before he started talking.
“We started dating in October. Tomorrow was supposed to be our eight month.” James took a deep breath. No one ever tells you how you should deal with your son losing his first boyfriend. It's probably because that doesn’t happen very often, but still.
“I’m so sorry, Bambi.”
“James, Harry needs to see Madam Pomfrey,” Mcgonagall spoke up. “I can take him if you’d like to speak with Sirius and Remus for a moment.”
“Are you alright with Minnie taking you to the Hospital Wing until I get there?” Harry nodded and grabbed McGonagall’s hand, then left the room. James sighed, sat down, and put his head in his hands.
“So,” Sirius broke the awkward silence. “I’m assuming that–”
“Your brother and I dated for around a year and a half, Padfoot,” he sighed. “From the middle of my fourth year to the end of the summer after fifth year.”
“Wow,” he said, breathing out in what sounded like wonder. “Can I ask why you broke up?”
“You aren’t going to like the answer,” he warned.
“Try me.”
“You definitely won’t,” Remus agreed.
“You knew?”
“Of course I knew, love. I’m me,” he snorted. “Anyway, might as well tell him, Prongs.”
“You ran away,” James said softly. Sirius made a noise. “He was so mad at you. Like, full of rage, mad. He had thought that you didn’t care about him and that you left him. I defended your decision and tried to reason that you would talk to him once school started up. He took that as me choosing you over him, and he ended things.” The room was silent, so after a moment, James stood up. “I’m going to go to the hospital wing now.” And with that, he walked out.
It's not that James wanted to just leave Sirius there, feeling horrible as James knew that he would, James just really needed to be with Harry, and he wasn't going to let Sirius' feelings get in the way of that. He had no idea how he was going to help his son through this. His first boyfriend, at least to James’ knowledge, was just murdered in front of him, by the same guy who murdered his mum and attempted to murder him when he was three. How does a father help his son go through that?
“James,” Minnie sighed in relief when she saw him walking down the hallway outside of the hospital wing. “Harry needs you. Like, right now.” James just gave her a nod and ran the rest of the way.
“I’m not letting you do anything without my Dad here,” he heard his son’s stubborn voice say before he walked into the wing.
“What do you want to do, Poppy?” He asked, walking over to Harry’s side and grabbing hold of his hand.
“Run a simple diagnostic spell,” she said, sounding exhausted. “That’s it.” James would have laughed at the look on Poppy’s face. She seemed genuinely exhausted and it was then that he realized she had probably been the one to declare Cedric dead, and deal with his body. Suddenly, he became more empathetic.
“Do whatever you need to do, just let me know what you’re doing?”
“Of course, James,” she said, her voice softening. She then cast the spell and immediately went into her office, with a look on her face that worried James to no end.
“Bambi, why wouldn’t you let her run a diagnostic without me here?” He asked, turning to look at his son, who looked completely and utterly broken at that moment.
“Because you should see it too. I don’t want to have to tell you everything that happened there.” James nodded.
“James,” Poppy called from her office, her voice sounding strained. “I need to speak with you!”
“Will you be okay without me for a few minutes?” He asked Harry, his heart breaking at the look of hesitancy on his face. After a few seconds Harry reluctantly nodded and let go of James’ hand. He went into her office and closed the door behind him. “What’s up Poppy?”
“It would appear that Harry had the imperius curse and the cruciatus curse used on him but I’m not sure for how long. I’d like to keep him here overnight for observation to make sure that he doesn’t have any brain damage or nerve damage due to the curses,” she explained, wincing at the broken look on James’ face. “You can stay here overnight as well, obviously.”
“Okay,” he nodded, running a hand through his hair.
James was already dreading what his life was going to turn into with Voldemort back. He can’t go through that again. The First War had been draining on him and everyone around him and he wasn’t sure that they would all last through it a second time, especially now that Voldemort was actively trying to attack and kill his son.
“James,” she said, sighing a bit. “Everything is going to be alright. He was defeated once, wasn’t he?” He scoffed. He hated being this rude to Poppy, he truly did, but he thought that that comment was a bit insensitive considering the circumstances.
“But not before he murdered four of my closest friends, forced one to leave the wizarding world completely, killed my wife and then attempted to kill my child, who, need I remind you, has just seen him resurrected.” There was a tense silence that engulfed the office before Madam Pomfrey broke it.
“You’re right,” she nodded. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think before speaking.” He shrugged.
“I need to check on Harry now,” he said. “Also, can you get the gash on his arm wrapped up?”
“Of course.” He nodded and then left the office. He felt bad about being so upfront and rude to Poppy, but today was a shitty day and he didn’t need her to try to cheer him up. When he reached Harry’s bed he saw that Sirius was Padfoot and was curled up at the end of the bed with his head in Harry’s lap and Remus was sitting in one of the two chairs next to the bed, watching the two of them fondly.
“Bambi,” James said once he got close enough for them to hear him. Remus looked up and smiled at him slightly and then nodded to the bed as if James hadn’t seen it with his own eyes. “You need to stay here overnight for observation to make sure there isn’t any permanent damage or anything like that.” Harry sighed but nodded.
“Wait,” Remus said. “What would he have permanent damage from?” Harry winced a bit and then looked at James with pleading eyes.
“I take it, you want me to tell him?” When Harry nodded James continued. “He had the imperius and cruciatus curse used on him for an unknown amount of time.”
“Oh carw bach,” Remus sighed sadly, moving his hand to card through the boy’s hair. “It just hasn’t been your day, has it?” Harry laughed, but there wasn’t any humour in the sound.
“I don’t think it has, no,” he agreed. James let out a light laugh before patting Padfoot’s head, making him lift it off of where it was lying in Harry’s lap to look at James.
“Are we alright, Pads?” The dog nodded his head and barked before settling back down where he was. “Harry, why don’t you try to get some sleep? Do you want me to see if you can get a dreamless sleep potion?”
“No, it’s fine,” he said, moving to lay back down. “You’ll stay here though, right?”
“Bambi,” James started. “Poppy couldn’t make me leave this place 14 years ago, she definitely can’t make me now.” Harry snorted but nodded with a sleepy smile on his face. “Goodnight, love.”
“Goodnight Aabe,” he said, sounding already half asleep. Padfoot took this as an invitation to get up from where he had been and rearrange his body so that he was curled into Harry’s side with the boy’s fingers threading through his fur. Within two minutes it seemed that Harry was out cold.
“Prongs,” Remus said, shaking James out of his thoughts. “How are you doing with all of this?”
“I need to hit something,” he replied, dead serious. Remus nodded as if he had expected that answer.
“Go to the courtyard and hit a tree,” he suggested. “Or, even better, hit the whomping willow. That tree has hit you enough to warrant you hitting it. Just press the knot at the bottom.”
“How exactly am I to do that?” James asked, momentarily amused. “I turn into a stag, not a fucking rat.”
“You make a good point,” he said, nodding his head in mock seriousness. “Maybe stick with the courtyard then. Or, you could go out to the Forbidden Forest and run around as Prongs and headbutt some trees.”
“That does sound like the better option,” James admitted, making Remus laugh quietly. “I’ll wait until tomorrow to get my emotions out. Right now Harry needs me to be here.”
“You’re a really good dad, Prongs,” he said. “Please don’t forget that or ever doubt it. Yeah, you may do some… questionable things when you’re angry or concerned about him, but you’re fantastic at being a dad.”
“Thank you Moony,” he said, tears welling in his eyes.
Today had been a rough day for James and he hadn’t really taken the time to acknowledge it until then. First he had to watch his son go into a death maze, then he disappeared for a bit, showed up a little while later sobbing over his dead boyfriend’s body saying that Voldemort was back. Then, he essentially got outed by Barty, learned that his son had been tortured, and he had been expected to hold it all together to comfort his son. Obviously he had done just that because he never wants Harry to see him at his worst, so he pretends. Well, Harry was now asleep and he didn’t have to pretend anymore.
“I’m really fucking scared, Moons,” he admitted quietly.
“I know,” he replied in the same tone.
“What if I can’t protect him? He’s been attacked four times at this school by him already, and three of those times he was dead. How am I supposed to be okay with sending him here? When Lily and I were being targeted we were ordered to stay at home hiding. How come my son isn’t supposed to do the same? Remus, I don’t know what to do,” he said, his hands starting to shake.
“We’ll figure it out,” he said, grabbing James’ hands to stop them from shaking. “We always figure it out, right? What makes this time any different?”
“Because the murderer of my wife is resurrected and is now going after my child? For like, the twentieth time?” Remus thought this over for a second and then shrugged a bit.
“Maybe the stakes are a bit higher than usual but that doesn’t mean we can’t figure out how to handle it. We’re in this together Prongs, we always have been.”
“I hate that it has to be this way,” he whispered. “He should have his mother here. He shouldn’t have had to grow up without her and he definitely shouldn’t have had to see Voldemort resurrected. Why is life so fucking unfair?”
“You’re asking the wrong person that question,” Remus snorted. “I’ve been wondering the same thing since I was bitten.” James shot him an apologetic smile. “Prongs, try to get some sleep, yeah? If there are any problems I’ll wake you up.”
James was hesitant but overall nodded. He moved around in his seat for a moment before grumbling something in Somali. He then got out of his chair, motioned for Remus to do the same, and then once he did, transfigured the two chairs into a big red couch.
“You really needed to do that?” Remus asked in a deadpan voice.
“I wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise,” he grumbled. “Now, sit down so that I can use you as a pillow.” Remus laughed quietly but did as he was told to do. Once he had gotten comfortable James laid down, laying his head in Remus’ lap and his feet at the end of the couch like he used to do all the time while they were in school.
“Goodnight Prongs,” Remus said softly.
“Goodnight Moons,” he replied. Within a few minutes James was asleep and Remus was the only one left awake.