carpe diem

26

"I wish I could be there for him."

Regulus breathes slowly. They’re laying on James’ bed, both of them tired and worn from their day shifts. They’re both showered, fed, and now Regulus lays half reclined against the headboard, legs stretched out straight in front of him and his ankles crossed. James is laying beside him, head on his chest, and Regulus is running his fingers through the older mans hair in an attempt to soothe the mans clear anxieties about tomorrow.

"You have work, mon amour (my love)."

James huffs against his chest. "I know, but—"

"James, you started work last Tuesday. This is only your second week. Remus understands, he knows your thinking of him. He knows you have work till seven tomorrow night and that you’ll see him afterwards. I promised you that I’d text when the surgery was done so if you dropped a patient off you’d know you could come up and see him while on shift."

"I just feel like an awful person for not taking the time off," James whispers, shifting his head so he can press his face into Regulus’ neck.

"You’re not an awful person," Regulus sighs, kissing the soft shell of his boyfriends ear. "It’s just poor timing. Plus, even if you did take the day off, there’s nothing you could do apart from wait around like Sirius and his mother are doing."

"I could be supporting them," James stresses.

"They know, James," Regulus placates, flicking the ear he just kissed lovingly. James yelps, shoving his face further into Regulus’ neck, practically nuzzling his collarbone. "Remus, his mum, and Sirius all know that you want to be there supporting them, that your would be, of course. They know, and they’re not holding it against you that you’re not going to be there waiting like a sitting suck like Sirius and Mrs Lupin. You can’t keep beating yourself up over this. Tomorrow is not going to change. You’re going to go to work, Sirius and Mrs Lupin are going to sit in uncomfortable plastic chairs for hours, and me and Remus are going to be in the surgical theatres. When Remus comes out, he’ll be going straight down to the ICU, where he can only have two visitors at a time, so even if you were there, you won’t be able to see him, bemuse I can’t imagine Sirius or his mum giving up their spots to get at his bedside first."

James lets out a heavy, long breath against Regulus’ neck. "True. I just…"

"I know," Regulus nods. "It’s a big day, and you’re not going to be there, but it doesn’t mean you don’t care, James."

James just continues to breathe and hide. Regulus squeezes him where one of his arms is wrapped around the older mans broad shoulders, his other hand playing with the soft hair at the back of his neck.

After a minute, James lifts his head. His glasses are skewed and crooked on his nose where his face had been pressed into Regulus’ neck. He looks soft and tired, but his face splits with a tender, closed lip smile.

"I’m sorry," he whispers, leaning up enough to give Regulus a peck on the lips. "I know I’m whining."

"It’s okay," Regulus assures. "It’s a scary time."

James rests his head back down on Regulus’ chest, his arms tightening around Regulus’ waist like a koala bear. It’s not very often that it’s Regulus cradling James, but the older boy needed the comfort today. Plus, they kind of fell that way when Regulus ended up getting settled on the bed first and James just… flopped on top of him and decided to use him as a pillow.

"I can’t believe you’re going to be in there with him," the older boy murmurs. "Are you scared?"

If it had been anyone else asking, Regulus would scoff and act indifferent. He'd be offended that anyone would even dare to assume that he was scared of doing a surgery. He's Regulus Black? He's made history with how quickly he's qualified as a doctor and soon to be qualified as a neurosurgeon. He's not scared of anything, let alone a meagre run-of-the-mill Resective surgery for epilepsy.

But, this is not just 'anyone'.

It's James.

James, who no matter what, seems to accept Regulus in any and all of his forms. James, who without trying, is able to see the raw and stripped and real Regulus.

He doesn't need to lie to James. He doesn't need to protect his pride. He doesn't need to pretend to be strong and fearless.

"I haven’t felt this nervous since the first surgery I assisted on over a year ago," Regulus admits heavily.

He feels James' arms tighten momentarily around him, before the hand resting on his hip begins to rhythmically rub back and forth.

"Is it different, because you know him?" James asks.

Regulus nods. "It feels like a lot more is riding on this surgery. I mean, don’t get me wrong, every surgeon wants every surgery to be successful. No doctor, nurse, surgeon, HCA wants to lose a patient. No one wants to have to tell the family that our best wasn’t enough. But this… I don’t want to even think about the possibility of having to look his mum, Sirius, you, in the eye and tell you it wasn’t enough."

"No one would blame you, Reg."

Sirius would, Regulus thinks.

Their relationship is too fractured, too fragile to be able to withstand the loss of Remus on a surgical table. Sirius will definitely blame Regulus, it’s an unconscious reaction even if the two of them had a semi-good relationship. Sirius will look at Regulus and see the person who didn’t do enough for his boyfriend to get off the table. Sirius will look at Regulus and all the progress, albeit still quite small, they’ve managed to make will be ruined and futile, because Sirius will hate Regulus again.

James might not hate Regulus, but he still will struggle to differentiate the difference between Remus’ surgeon and his boyfriend. When James looks at Regulus, no matter how much he tries not to, he will always associate Regulus with one of the people who stood over him on the surgical table when his heart stopped.

James might not blame Regulus, but it will still ruin them.

And even if James doesn’t, Regulus won’t be able to handle it.

He won’t be able to see James everyday and not feel like he is the cause for the grief and the pain the loss of Remus will cause.

"When there’s a loss at the hospital, when we tell the families, we never have to see them again. We ruin their lives, and then they leave, and it’s over. It’s harsh, but being completely detached from them means that we don’t have to look at them and feel the guilt of it," Regulus explains. "If something happens to Remus, I’m going to have to look at you every day and see your grief, your anger, your sadness. I won’t be able to escape Remus, I won’t be able to let it go."

Silence settles in the room and instantly, Regulus feels a sucker punch to the stomach of regret.

He’s only just managed to calm James down about this whole thing, and now Regulus is word-vomiting about his fears about what will happen to him if Remus dies.

Fucking hell, he thinks. Good going, Reg.

Reeeeeal fucking sensitive.

"I shouldn’t be telling you this," Regulus mutters, running a hand down his face and shaking his head. "This is going to worry you. I shouldn’t be—"

"No," James chides firmly, shooting up from where he was reclined on Regulus’ chest. He moves so he’s sitting up, legs crossed, and his hands gently grab Regulus’ face. When their eyes meet, James’ expression is so stern and shocked and horrified. "No, Reg. This is the part where you’re allowed to disconnect me as Remus’ friend, and speak freely about what you’re scared or worried about. Don’t hold all of this in because of me, don’t bottle it up because you’re scared of scaring me. I want you to tell me this stuff."

Regulus chews on his bottom lip. A moment later, James’ thumb is gently tugging it from in-between his teeth and pressing their lips together. The kiss is slow, tender, but it does enough to make Regulus sigh and his body sags slightly.

"I’m not worried anything is going to happen to Remus," Regulus says. "I promise. I wasn’t saying all of that because I think anything is going to happen. Resective surgery is all routine, and in the grand scheme of things, it really isn’t that much of a big surgery."

"I love it when you say that," James chuckles. "You do realise you and the rest of your surgeon buddies are the only people in the world who would say this isn’t a big surgery."

Regulus shrugs. "It’s not. Compared to some of the other shit I’ve seen, this is a piece of cake. It’s only four hours long!"

James chuckles again and shakes his head.

"I’m so proud of you."

Regulus frowns in confusion, "What for?"

"For being smart enough to be the only 24 year old surgeon student and doctor in that hospital who is going to be performing a brain surgery tomorrow," James murmurs, resting their foreheads together. "I’m proud of everything you do, everything you’ve done. But today, I’m specifically proud of how smart you are."

"You’re so sappy," Regulus rolls his eyes, but his heart feels like it’s bursting.

"Don’t ruin this," James whispers against his lips, and then he’s crashing their lips together.

A kiss that was earlier so soft and gentle, this time is hot and messy and hungry. Fire burns through Regulus’ body as quick as a flame consuming a forest after a draught. The exhaustion and fatigue that has Regulus dopey and feeling heavy evaporates as they kiss, a newfound energy and excitement igniting in him.

Deciding kissing isn’t enough, Regulus wants more. Whenever he’s with James, he always wants more, and right now, he wants James to be naked.

Lungs burning and crying for oxygen, Regulus breaks away to tug James’ top over his head. The older boy helps, cheeks flushed and pupils blown. His hair bounces wildly when Regulus rips the t-shirt over the older boys head, and Regulus slings James’ top on the floor before he’s pushing down on the older boys shoulders. James goes easily, laying on his back as Regulus straddles his hips and trails kisses along his jaw. James’ hands run up and down his sides, his hips twitching when Regulus grinds down to meet their groins together. James groans, his throat rumbling as Regulus sucks the skin on his neck. James’ pulse pounds against his lips, and he alternates between sucking and kissing and licking because it’s an easy and quick way to reduce James into a pile of goo.

"I do have one request for you, though," James says, though his words come out in pants and his hips buck up into Regulus’.

Regulus internally grumbles at the fact that James is talking when they should be shagging, because Regulus has missed James’ body all week and he’s finally got him half-undressed and clearly aroused if the bulge in his pants are anything to go by.

Not stopping in his quest to have James covered and marked, Regulus just hums in-between kisses as he moves down from James’ neck to his bare chest. "Mhm?"

"Be nice to Sirius tomorrow."

Regulus’ lips detach from James’ chest with a wet, audible pop. "Absolutely not."

"Reg."

"James."

"Please?"

"No promises."

A sigh.

A pause.

"Good enough."

***

The next morning, Regulus gets to work just in time to see Euphemia leave from the night shift. Regulus is surprised to see her, as she wasn't scheduled a shift when she's back in tomorrow morning on a day shift with him, but she explains that agency doctor went off sick in the middle of the night and no one else could cover.

After the sleep-deprived chief doctor had left, Regulus had rushed onto the ward to sit with Dorcas and catch up on handover. Dorcas is managing the ward during the morning as Regulus is going to be in theatres, so after handover, he goes to the surgery ward to have a pre-op meeting with Slughorn and Mary.

Remus is scheduled for his surgery at 8:30, so at 8:15, Regulus pays Remus a visit. Dorcas said he’d been awake since about six o’clock, and Mrs Lupin and Sirius are in there with him despite it not being visiting hours yet as he’s going in for surgery soon.

When Regulus walks in, he’s pleased to see that someone was wise enough to have brought a wheelchair in already. Remus has been completely detached from the machines, reclined on the bed and looking particularly haggard. But, he smiles when Regulus walks in.

Completely ignoring his brother, who is shifting back and forth in the wheelchair for Remus like an absolute toddler, Regulus smiles at Remus and his mother.

Be professional, Regulus thinks.

Punching Sirius is not professional.

He is not worth the disciplinary.

Regulus is saving the punches for outside the hospital.

"Good morning," Regulus greets. "We all okay this morning?" When all three of them nod in reply, Regulus adds to Remus, "Did you have an okay night?"

"Not too bad," Remus smiles. "Slept surprisingly well. I was expecting to be up most of the night… you know, worrying."

"I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that’s quite common, but I’m pleased you were able to sleep alright. Have you eaten or drank anything this morning?"

"No. I haven’t eaten or drank anything since before I went to sleep last night."

"Good. They’ll ask you again when we go downstairs."

"Yeah, Mary’s already asked me this morning."

"I apologise for probably repeating stuff you’ve already been over,"

"It’s alright," Remus shrugs. "Better to repeat things than miss them, right?"

"Exactly," Regulus smiles. "We need to be heading down about 8:30. We're planning to start around nine, and the surgery is scheduled to last an estimated four hours. When it's finished, you'll be moved down to the ICU ward for close monitoring. Generally, patients wake up a few hours after brain surgery, so by then you'll be settled and have your mum and Sirius at your bedside. You'll be scheduled to stay in the ICU for about 24 hours, and then afterwards you'll come back up here," he looks at Mrs Lupin and Sirius, "They'll explain the ICU visiting hours to you after the surgery. Until then, the two of you will stay in the family waiting room while the surgery is happening."

Both Sirius and Mrs Lupin nod in reply.

"Will you be going down with him?" Mrs Lupin asks.

"Yes. It makes sense as I’m going there too instead of taking one of the HCA’s off the ward as well," Regulus says.

"Can I walk down?" Remus asks.

"It would be a lot quicker if we went in a chair," Regulus replies. "Plus, it wouldn’t do my blood pressure any good having to watch you attempt to make the journey on foot."

"Fine," Remus nods, shrugging. "I feel like it’s a bad idea to piss your surgeon off."

"It is," Regulus smirks. "I’m just going to go and grab some paperwork and then we’ll go down okay? Can I trust you to get yourself in the wheelchair without falling on your face first?"

"Yes."

"Excellent. Be right back."

Regulus leaves to go back to the reception desk. He’s in the middle of piling all of Remus’ paperwork into a file when he senses someone approaching the desk.

"Reg," he says, but then he stops. He stands there, like an idiot, with his mouth opening and closing like a bloody fish and fuck, Regulus wants to slap him.

He has seen more of Sirius in the last week than he has in the last 10 years, and it is really starting to grate on his nerves.

"Yes?" Regulus deadpans.

Sirius swallows audibly. "I… just…"

With a sigh, Regulus takes pity on him. Most of the resentment drains out of him, and he forces himself to see what is truly in front of him; a worried family member.

Sirius looks wrecked. His skin is sallow, and his hair is flat and greasy. He looks as exhausted as Remus. Regulus knows that Sirius has been here everyday since Remus was admitted last week, all day during the restrictions of hospital visiting hours, by his boyfriends bedside and surviving off hospital coffee and cafe sandwiches unless Peter or James brought them something else in.

Despite their estranged relationship and Regulus’ persistent simmer anger at him, right now Sirius needs someone to lighten the load he’s taken onto his shoulders.

Right now, Regulus needs to be a doctor, and a doctor has a duty to the family too.

"We’ll do our best," Regulus promises.

Perhaps Sirius wasn’t expecting a kind remark, because his eyes widen in surprise momentarily.

"O-okay," he whispers. "Thank you."

"Our best is generally pretty good."

Sirius smiles. "Pretty good?"

Aaaaaaand the patience has run out.

Regulus wants to punch him again.

A lot.

"Don’t bother the rest of the staff while you’re waiting please," Regulus says, tucking the file under his arm. "Try to contain yourself."

"I will," Sirius nods, and then he mock salutes, "Best behaviour."

"I don’t even want to know what your definition of 'best behaviour' is," Regulus mutters as he makes his way back to Remus' room.

When he opens the door, he see’s Remus is sat and settled in the wheelchair, with his mother fretting around with a blanket over his legs.

"Ready?" Regulus asks.

Mrs Lupin makes a hurt noise, looking like she's about to cry again, when she bends down and yanks Remus into a tight hug.

"It'll be okay, mum," Remus murmurs, hugging her back.

When the older woman pulls away, she wipes under her eyes and cradles Remus' face for a moment. Then, she stands straight, stepping back and Sirius is by her side in a minute, slinging an arm around the shorter woman's shoulder and tugging her close.

Remus smiles at the pair of them. "I love you both."

"We love you too," Mrs Lupin smiles. She looks at Regulus, "Take care of my boy."

Regulus nods. "We will."

The walk down to the surgery unit is quiet, but thankfully not awkward. He doesn’t get the feeing from Remus that he’s not talking because he’s uncomfortable and doesn’t know what to say, but because this is probably the first time in a while that he’s had any time in silence to process what is about to happen.

Regulus is happy to give him that silence.

When they reach the anaesthetic room, Mary is already in there. Her lime green scrubs making her stand out in the room like a sore thumb. She grins at them when they enter, her large array of black curly hair already hid underneath a hair net.

"Alright, lads?" She asks.

"Never better," Regulus drawls as he stops Remus’ chair by the bed, putting the breaks on. He pats he crisp white sheet in instruction and a moment later, Remus stands stiffly and sits himself on the side of it, his legs long enough that they don’t hang but instead his socked feet are flat on the floor.

"I’ll be right back," Mary says, already heading to the door. She looks over her shoulder and smirks at Regulus, "Don’t be too mean to him, Black."

"I would never." After she’s gone, he looks at Remus, "Do not be alarmed by her. She may look entirely too happy to work here, but I promise she’s good at what she does. Usually."

That is entirely sarcasm, because Mary is fantastic at her job, but it does the trick because the tension instantly bleeds of Remus’ taut form at the joke.

"Coming from the person who looks about 10 years too young to be a doctor," Remus quips.

"I’m going to take that as a compliment. Also, I am a doctor and a surgeon student. Do not miss out the best part."

"My apologises."

Regulus smirks, leaning against the worktop. He should probably go and get scrubbed up, but he doesn’t think leaving Remus here alone is going to the older man much good. He looks more nervous now than he did all the times they’ve discussed this procedure, which Regulus knows is pretty common, but he’s not convinced that if he goes now, Remus won’t bolt.

Surprisingly, it’s Remus that breaks the silence between the two of them.

"Will I shit myself during surgery?"

Regulus can’t stop himself from chuckling. He shakes his head, "No. The anaesthesia practically paralyses your intestinal tract. Until you wake up, you will not shit."

"Right," Remus nods. "That’s good."

"Indeed. It saves a lot of cleaning up."

Remus grins.

"Of course, you know you will have a catheter inserted," Regulus says, and Remus nods. "That also saves a lot of cleaning up."

"Good. Don’t really fancy pissing the bed."

"No. I imagine it will be quite unpleasant."

"Will you be there when I wake up?" Remus asks.

"You’re going to be nice and settled in the ICU when you wake up. We won’t be there, but your mum and Sirius will be," Regulus says.

"Okay," Remus nods. "Is it too late to back out?"

"It’s not too late until you’re under the anaesthesia," Regulus assures him. Then, he looks at him seriously, "Do you want to stop this surgery?"

"I…" Remus starts, but then he trails off weakly. He sighs, looking down at his hands in his lap. He takes a deep breath that seems to inflate and deflate his entire body, and then his shoulders slump and he's looking back up at Regulus with tired eyes.  "No. No, I don’t. I’m just…"

"Scared?" Regulus supplies.

"Shitting a brick, more precisely."

"What a lovely image."

Remus grins weakly, and then he's worrying his bottom lip. "Don’t let me die?"

"Wasn’t planning on it," Regulus says easily. "You’re kind of alright, Lupin. Plus, I don’t want to deal with my brother without you. You do a pretty good job of keeping him distracted from annoying me."

"He’s not that bad," Remus argues, but he chuckles as he says it.

"He’s the worst, but I suppose I shouldn’t expect you to have good taste judging by your choice of books when we first met."

"Stop pretending you’re a hater of romance novels, Regulus."

"I’m not pretending."

The door opens and Mary walks back in, flashing Remus a friendly smile.

"Ready, bud?" She asks Remus, who nods warily.

"As I’ll ever be," the older man replies.

"It’ll be over before you know it," Mary says. "You’re going to sleep to our pretty faces, and it’ll feel like you’ve simply blinked when you wake up again."

"Am I going to feel like I’ve had a sweet nap?"

"I wish I could say yes, but it’ll be more like a nap that gives you a headache and makes you feel like you’ve woken up in a different dimension," Mary grins. "But that’ll be all the fun painkillers, so don’t worry too much if you feel a bit floaty."

"Grand," Remus grins, seeming actually quite relaxed at the idea of waking up drugged up to the gills.

At least he’s not worried about us putting a scalpel to his brain anymore, Regulus thinks.

"Right," Regulus says, pushing off the side. "I’m going to leave you with Mary because I need to go and scrub-up."

"Okay," Remus nods. "See you on the other side?"

Regulus nods assuringly before he leaves, going through the double doors to the side room of the operating theatre. A HCA is already there, unpacking Regulus’ apron ready for him to put on after he’s washed his hands. He swipes a hair net off the box on the wall, shoving it on and making sure no stray curls are left out. He washes his hands and forearms vigorously, before turning to the HCA and standing while they don the coat-apron. When he has his gloves on, he makes sure to walk with his hands up and in front of him, nodding in thanks when the HCA opens the door for him to the operating room.

"Good morning, Regulus," Slughorn greets with a wide smile.

Fuck. I forgot how impossibly perky this man is in the mornings.

"Morning," Regulus replies.

"Ready for this?"

Regulus nods.

This morning, he woke up with a knot in his stomach and a painful tension in his neck at the prospect of operating on Remus; his boyfriends best friend and his brothers boyfriend.

Now, he’s shaken off the anxieties and squared his shoulders.

He can do this.

He’s trained to do this.

The double doors open and Mary wheels Remus, who’s reclined on the bed and as limp as a wet noodle. After she’s got tranferred to the operating table and has him all hooked up, she gives Regulus and Slughorn a thumbs up and takes a seat on the stool provided.

"Everyone ready to begin?" He asks.

Every head in the room nods, and then Slughorn steps up to the table.

***

Four hours later, and Regulus is stripping his surgery apron, gloves and hair-net. He tosses them in the bins, washes his hands and his arms, blinking slowly with mental fatigue from the straining level of consciousness he’s had for hours on end.

His eyes meet Slughorn’s as the older surgeon leaves, and the man flashes Regulus a wide smile. 

After he’s washed his hands and arms, Regulus leaves the washroom and makes his way back through to the general neurology ward.

He heads straight to the family waiting room, where he knows Dorcas has made Sirius and Mrs Lupin wait in while Remus was in surgery.

When he walks in, the two of them practically catapult themselves out of their seats.

"How is he?"

"Is he okay?"

"Is it over?"

"He’s okay," Regulus nods, and he can’t stop himself from smiling slightly when he see’s the pair of them completely slump with relief. "The surgery is all done. The removal was a success, we had no complications."

"Oh my god," Mrs Lupin cries, dropping her face in her hands.

Sirius instantly wraps an arm around her shoulders, his own eyes bloodshot. Regulus has no idea how long he has been crying for, but he assumes within the four hours they’ve been waiting here, it wouldn’t have been hard for their thoughts to run wild.

He looks up at Regulus, sniffing, and asks, "Can we see him?"

"Soon," Regulus nods. "He’s being moved to the ICU unit a few levels down. He’ll stay there for the rest of today and overnight. They’ll judge on how he is when he’s woken up from the anaesthesia as to when he can be moved back up here, but for now he needs close monitoring. Visiting hours are more limited in the ICU and only two at a time, but I’ll let you know when he’s situated and you guys can go down."

"Thank you," Mrs Lupin sobs. She moves within a blink of an eye, retching herself from underneath Sirius’ arm and throwing herself at Regulus. She’s a short woman, but Regulus barely manages to stay on his feet when she tackles into him, shoving her face in his chest and sobbing there. "Thank you! Oh, god, thank you so much!"

Regulus hugs her back, aware it’s awkward. He generally doesn’t get hugs from family members, but he supposes he shouldn’t be surprised; in the time that Mrs Lupin has been here, she’s proved to be very tactile and motherly.

"The surgery went really well. Not a hitch, I promise," Regulus says as he rubs her shoulder, trying not to cringe when he feels the thin fabric of his scrubs become damp from her tears (but hopefully not snot). "I can’t make any promises for when he wakes up, I’m not God, but I can tell you that we have no indications that anything went amiss. All his vitals stayed solid, and it was a really smooth and faultless surgery."

"That’s good," Sirius nods, sounding breathless. He drops down in the chair behind him. "Thats… that’s good."

"When you’re both ready, you can make your way down to the ICU floor. If it’s not ready for you to see Remus yet, they’ll give you a room to wait in down there," Regulus explains.

"How long till we know it’s worked?" Mrs Lupin asks, pulling away from Regulus. She moves back to Sirius, stroking his head almost lovingly.

"It will all depend on his seizure activity. We won’t know the successfulness of the surgery until he either does or doesn’t have a seizure. If he does, do not be disheartened. This surgery isn’t always full-proof, but even if it minimises the seizures, I advise you consider it a success."

"Anything must be better than what it was," Mrs Lupin agrees. "I just want my boy to be well again."

"That’s what we all want," Regulus smiles. "I’ll grab one our HCA’s to come and take you down to ICU in a minute."

"Thank you," Mrs Lupin smiles, though it wobbles and her eyes are filling with tears again.

Regulus turns and leaves the room when the pair of them start hugging again, beginning to feel marginally bored with the theatrics.

He pulls out his phone as he makes his way back to the reception desk, typing a quick text to James.

Regulus (13:53) surgery is done, all good. he’s in the ICU now with his mum and sirius

Dorcas looks up when he sits down, grinning at him.

"All good?" She asks.

"Of course," Regulus shrugs.

She rolls her eyes at his blasé, and tosses him a patient file.

Compared to the start of his day, the rest of Regulus’ shift is particularly boring. He supposes he should be grateful, that the doctor gods are giving him a break and not running his ragged, but Regulus isn’t good when shit isn’t hitting the fan. When things are running smoothly, he gets twitchy and doesn’t feel like he’s using his brain enough. 

He gets a text from Sirius half way through the afternoon.

Sirius (16:22) just want to let you know that remus woke up a few minutes ago. he wasn’t very awake, and he didn’t say anything, but the nurses assured us that it’s normal.

Sirius (16:22) thank you again, reg

Regulus (16:23) glad to hear he’s waking up.

Regulus (16:23) stop texting me. i still dislike you.

His brother doesn't text again, but he does pass the news about Remus onto Dorcas.

Hours fly by and Regulus is submerged with scans, assessments, mystery illnesses and prescribing medications. He takes his break late (as usual) and sneaks out for a cigarette with Mary.

Dorcas goes at seven when her shift ends, and Regulus is left with the agency doctor who, while is very nice, appears to be fucking clueless. Regulus is supposed to go home at 7:30, but 20 minutes before he’s meant to leave, a patient who came in with a mini stroke decides to have a full-blown haemorrhage. It’s incredibly inconvenient and Regulus is utterly unimpressed at such an emergency so late in the shift.

His biggest surprise comes when he gets back to the desk with a handful of scans from the haemorrhage patient and finds the agency doctor on the phone. Planning to check the scans, book him in for emergency surgery, and then go home, Regulus reluctantly questions the fed-up expression on the other doctors face.

"ICU is apparently full and in need of beds. They just called to ask if a patient who had surgery this morning was able to come back up here for overnight monitoring. Apparently he’s been responding well during the afternoon and he’s one of the only patients stable enough to be moved to a general ward," the doctor explains.

Regulus stills from where he’s scanning the brain images.

"What’s this patients name?" He asks, even though he already knows.

"Remus Lupin."

Of course.

"When is he coming up?"

"They’re bringing him up now," the doctor replies. "What time are you supposed to finish?"

"Almost two hours ago."

The doctor winces, but Regulus shrugs.

"Man in 407 decided to have a sub-arach haemorrhage just before my shift was supposed to end. I’ll just finish getting him stable and the emergency surgery booked then I’ll be going."

The doctor nods, and just then, the doors at the end of the corridor open and a bed is wheeled in.

"What room are you putting him in?" Regulus asks.

"403."

"Okay."

Regulus makes quick work over the next half an hour getting every finished so he can clock off. By the time he’s done, his 12 hour shift stretched to a classic 14.5, he figures Remus is settled into his room enough for a fly-by departing visit.

As much as Regulus hates to admit it, he knows he can’t go home without making sure Remus is alright. After bidding goodnight to the doctor, Regulus makes his way to Remus’ room and gently knocks on the door. When he hears a grunted 'come in' come from the other side, he goes inside.

Remus looks tired and pale, but considering eight and a half hours ago they were stitching up an incision in his head and carrying away a tray of his dissected brain, Regulus figures the guy looks pretty well albeit the circumstances. He’s awake, at least. Drugged to the gills and definitely on a strong enough painkiller that he probably feels like he’s floating on a cloud, but he’s relaxed and with post-surgery patients, that’s usually the best presentation. His eyes are instantly drawn to the bandage, where he knows the hair underneath is shaved off and a gnarly row of stitches imperfects his scalp.

Looking at the man now, Regulus hopes more than he has for any of his other epilepsy surgery patients that this works for Remus.

"Hi," Regulus whispers as he sits down at the chair by the side of the bed. "How are you doing?"

"M’good," Remus murmurs, smiling slightly as his head lolls against the pillow. "They’ve got me on the good stuff, so I can’t feel a thing."

"That’s good. Consider it a deep rooted apology for the new hair cut."

"I haven’t seen it yet," Remus shrugs. "Is it bad?"

"Awful."

"Thanks, mate," Remus chuckles. "You here all night?"

"No. I’ve just finished. I figured I’d come and check on you before I go home."

"I can’t wait to go home," Remus sighs, slumping even more against the bed. "In the nicest way possible, I’m sick of this place."

"No offence taken. I get sick of it after about 40 minutes into every shift."

Remus laughs lightly again. Then, Regulus watches a series of emotions play out on his face, his smile slowly dropping until his lips are downturned.

"Are you going to laugh at me if I tell you something?" Remus asks.

"Depends what it is. Give it a shot."

"I’m scared," Remus whispers, voice soft like a deeply buried confession has come out of his mouth instead of something completely normal and rational. "I’m scared if I go back to sleep I might not wake up."

The older boy’s eyes are trained on the blanket covering his legs, not looking at Regulus as if he’s worried to see the look of mocking or annoyance in his face. His fingers worry with a loose thread, and Regulus can see his chest rising an falling sporadically as if he’s trying to stop himself from slipping into a whirlwind of panic.

"Remus—" Regulus starts gently, but it’s immediately interrupted.

"I know it sounds stupid, but I just… what if something goes wrong while I’m asleep?" Remus rambles, voice wobbling and breaths stuttering. He looks so small in that moment, which is an impressive feat for someone who is well over six foot in height and takes up the entire bed. "I don’t want to be alone if something goes wrong."

Regulus feels like he’s been punched in the gut. He feels wounded just by looking at Remus, whose eyes are red with unshed tears. Regulus doesn’t know if it’s the drugs he’s on that are making him overemotional, but there is one thing Regulus does know; and that is that Remus is terrified right now.

He’s genuinely scared of going to sleep alone in case he doesn’t wake up tomorrow. Regulus supposes that’s pretty justifiable, considering he had brain surgery not even 24 hours ago and this is the first time he’s going to be alone for a prolonged period of time.

What if it was Pandora in that bed? Or Barty? Or Evan? Or James?

Would I want someone to stay with them when I couldn’t?

Regulus can’t bare the thought of the people he loves being in Remus’ shoes; alone, scared, hurt and tearful. Regulus would hunt down the person that left them there in the bed while they were in this state.

His bravo as a doctor and a surgeon goes out of his brain. Remus doesn’t need facts or statistics right now from a medical professional, he needs a friend who cares and is going to comfort him. He needs someone to stay, not someone to tell him his fears are ridiculous and they’ll be able to tell if he’s not going to wake up.

Remus isn’t telling Regulus this because he’s his doctor. He’s telling Regulus this because he’s talking to a friend. A friend that shouldn’t leave him here when he’s feeling so vulnerable.

I’m going soft.

This is entirely James’ fault.

He has ruined me.

"Fuck you, Lupin," Regulus mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Remus’ eyes snap up to look at him.

"W-what?"

"You really know how to pluck at the heartstrings with that ugly shaved head and stupid pout," Regulus grumbles. "Will it make you feel better if I stayed tonight?"

Remus frowns. "But… you’ve been here all day?"

"And you had part of your brain removed," Regulus shrugs. "Shit happens. You’ve got 10 seconds to say yes or no before my sympathy freezes over and I go home."

I can’t believe I’m doing this.

I’m going to murder James next time I see him.

He’s actually broken me.

"Please," Remus whispers. "I-I’m sorry. I know you’ve been here all day and you definitely want to go ho—"

"It’s fine," Regulus interrupts. "I wouldn’t offer if I objected to it that much."

I may be soft on the inside, but I can still be a cold prick on the outside.

Remus smiles. "Thank you, Regulus."

"Let me go and get myself a blanket and make a few calls," Regulus says, standing up. "Don't fall asleep before I get back, otherwise this arrangement is entirely pointless and I will make sure your pillow goes missing on my shift tomorrow."

Remus' eyes widen. "You're on shift again tomorrow?"

"Yes. Now, stay awake. I'll be back in five minutes."

Explaining to the doctor in-charge why he'll be staying overnight raises a few eyebrows but no arguments are made. Regulus goes to the mess room to grab the jumper he wore on his way in, striping his scrub top and putting the jumper on. He keeps his scrub trousers on, as he figures they'll be comfier to sleep in than jeans. He grabs his book from his bag before he writes out Pandora a text, who replies while he's waiting for the kettle to finish boiling. 

Regulus (21:48) can you do me a favour?

Pandora (21:49) anything sweetheart

Regulus (21:49) can you go to my flat and feed sylvester for me? staying at the hospital tonight

Pandora (21:50) why are you staying at the hospital?

Pandora (21:51) regulus black if you are pulling a 36 hour shift i am going to burn your original copy of little women and put laxatives in your sugar pot

Regulus (21:51) i’m not pulling a 36 hour shift, i am SLEEPINGhere. remus is back in neuro ward and he doesn’t want to be alone

Pandora (21:52) he doesn’t want to be alone? or YOU don’t want him to be alone?

Regulus (21:52) can you feed sylvester for me or not?

Pandora (21:53) of course i can, i’ll head over now

Regulus (21:53) thank you <3

Pandora (21:53) you’re a good egg, reg

Regulus (21:54) shut up.

Regulus (21:54) and next time you threaten my little women book, i will make piss in your precious peony flowers

The kettle flicks, and Regulus finishes making himself a cup of coffee and Remus a cup of tea. On his way back to Remus' room, he grabs a couple of blankets out of the linen cupboard before nudging the door open.

The older man is still awake, thankfully, and Regulus holds up the mug.

"Cup of tea," he says, putting it on the table. "Don't feel obliged to drink it. I only did it out of politeness as I wanted coffee."

"Thanks, Reg," Remus smiles tiredly. "Read anything good lately?"

"I'll tell you all about a spin off of 1984 I'm currently reading if you let me borrow your phone charger."

"Deal."

Remus falls asleep just before 10:30. They only chat for about 20 minutes before the older man's eyes begin to start drooping, so Regulus directs the conversation to end. Less than a minute later, and Remus is snoring softly.

Regulus settles down in the chair, blankets tossed over his legs, and pulls his phone back out to reply to the text from James.

James (20:33) you home yet, love?

Regulus (22:36) not home, staying at the hospital tonight with remus

James (22:37) why? is everything okay?

Regulus (22:37) he’s fine, i’m merely staying because it saves petrol as i’m back on shift in the morning

It takes James a few minutes to reply, and when he does, Regulus almost drops his phone in mortification.

James (22:39) you’re the cutest person alive

Regulus (22:39) excuse me???

James (22:39) also, looooove how you use the excuse that you want to save petrol to cover up the fact that you’re a big softy

Regulus (22:40) fuck you

James (22:40) i love you

James (22:40) sooooooo fucking much

Regulus (22:41) you’re an idiot

Regulus (22:41) but i love you too i guess

He pockets his phone and pulls out his book, putting his feet up on the edge of Remus' bed. The chair is already uncomfortable, but he doesn't have the energy to pull enough strings to get a spare bed in here.

Regulus doesn't know when he falls asleep, but he wakes up someone shaking his shoulder.

The drag back to consciousness feels like treading through thick mud, and the more he becomes aware, the more he notices the pain in his neck and the ache in his legs.

Peeling his eyes open, he finds Euphemia looking down at him, dressed in scrubs, and then the sounds of beeping machines brings him back to centre.

"Good morning," she smiles, voice barely a whisper. "Enjoy your sleepover?"

"No," he grumbles, voice low and rough with sleep.

He straightens up with a groan, his joints cracking. His back feels like it needs to be snapped the other way with how stiff it is.

"It's seven o'clock. I figured you'd want some time to freshen up before you started your shift."

"Thank you," Regulus murmurs. He didn’t remember how much he hated sleeping in the clothes from the day before until now. And to think that he used to do this frequently after nights out during his university years when they’d crash and pass out the moment they walked in the front door after drinking their body weights.

"I didn't realise you enjoyed work so much that you've decided to sleep here," she teases, and Regulus flashes her a glare.

"I don't know how people stand to sleep in these chairs," he mutters. "They're fucking awful."

"They're not designed for sleeping," she replies, looking at the slumbering man on the hospital bed. "How was he overnight?"

"Asleep. Didn't wake up once. I don't know why I bothered to stay, the bastard was unconscious the whole time."

"Because you're a kind person, and a good friend."

"Stop," Regulus winces. "It's too early for nauseatingly sweet things."

Euphemia rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling fondly.

"Thank you," she says, and when Regulus raises a quizzical eyebrow at her, she adds, "for staying with him. He didn’t deserve to be alone."

Regulus swallows thickly as he looks at the sleeping patient on the bed. He looks comfortable, resting, his features relaxed and pain-free. "No, he didn’t."

"Are you going to be okay on shift today?"

Regulus pushes down the need to bristle at her concerns for his ability to work at his best at all times. Instead, he nods and stands up, "Of course. I’ve done shifts on worse sleep. All I need is a shower and some coffee."

She smiles softly. "Go and get yourself freshened up then, love. I’ll put the kettle on for you."

"Thank you," he says, honestly quite grateful. He’d cut off his own kneecap for a proper coffee from the cafe, but he knows they’re not open for another hour. Therefore, an instant coffee or three from the mess room will suffice just fine for now.

Showering in the mess room washing area is no luxury, but it beats wearing the previous day grime. He doesn't dare to wash his hair without his products, but a body shower does enough to make him feel like he's rolled around in dirt for the last two days.

When he’s washed and dressed, he finds a large mug of fresh coffee sitting on the side. He snatches as quickly as he can without spilling it before going onto the ward.

Euphemia smiles at him as he approaches the reception desk and drops down in the chair beside her.

"Better?" She asks.

Regulus nods as he takes a greedy gulp of coffee. "Much, thank you. And thank you for the coffee."

"No worries. Are you ready for a handover? I’m assuming you need one, as despite being here, you were not technically on the ward."

"I need one, thank you," Regulus nods. He may be a workaholic, but last night he was truly switched off while he was in Remus’ room.

After Euphemia finishes the handover, she leaves Regulus to finish his coffee and sign off on some painkillers for a new admission they got a few hours ago. Regulus is grateful because while he shouldn’t be getting easing treatment when he decided to stay overnight, he truly appreciates it for a soft-start to the shift.

Mrs Lupin and Sirius come in just as visiting hours open. The woman has a bouquet of flowers in her hands, clutching the bunch so tightly as if she’s bringing them to a grave instead of her recovering son’s bedside.

They immediately come up to the reception desk, and Regulus plants his best fake smile that he can on his face.

"Good morning, doctor," Mrs Lupin smiles.

"Morning, Reg," Sirius adds.

"Was everything alright overnight?" Mrs Lupin asks. "Is it positive that he was moved up here so soon?"

"Is it," Regulus replies. "It wasn’t planned, he was scheduled to stay in ICU over night, however there was a limitation on beds and because Remus was improving and stable after his operation, he was safe enough to be moved back to a general ward."

"Oh, good. Right?"

Regulus nods, flashing her a reassuring smile. "Right, Mrs Lupin. He slept through the night very well and we are very pleased with his recovery so far. He’s in 403, but last time we checked he wasn’t awake yet. He had another dose of pain medication about an hour ago, so he may be very groggy when he wakes up, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary."

"Can we go in?" She asks.

"Of course," Regulus replies. "Remember, do not hesitate to ring the assistance bell if you need anything or you are worried."

"Thank you," Mrs Lupin smiles, and then she’s walking quickly towards 403.

It takes Regulus a moment to realise Sirius hasn’t gone with her, and instead, he’s stayed standing on the other side of the desk.

"Can I help you with something?"

"Pads told me," Sirius replies.

Regulus rolls his eyes. "And do share what 'Pads' told you."

"You stayed with him last night."

"It was merely for my own convenience," Regulus drawls.

"Don’t be a prat," Sirius huffs, rolling his eyes. "I know you stayed because you care about him, so thank you. Seriously, I… I really appreciate that you didn’t leave him on his own. Just... thank you, Reg."

"I didn’t do it for you."

"Can you just accept my thanks like a normal fucking person?"

Regulus sighs heavily through his nose. "You are welcome. Now, stop going on about it and leave me alone."

"You’re so weird, Reg," Sirius scoffs.

"Leave me alone or I’m calling security," Regulus snarls. "I slept in a plastic chair and I am very tired and achy, and your voice is giving me a headache."

Sirius rolls his eyes, but thankfully he does leave.

The shift rolls itself out in usual fashion. Having Euphemia on shift with him makes everything run like a well oiled machine. They're busy, but being on his feet actually helps Regulus forget his fatigue and keep distracted from his lack of decent sleep. Euphemia is dragged down to emergency mid morning, and Regulus is left to run the ward in her wake.

She phones at lunch time.

"Hi, Regulus," Effie greets. "We've got a motorcycle accident patient coming up with severe spinal injuries. I've just sent up his MRI scans, would you mind having a look at them for me while I wrap up down here with another stroke patient that's just come in?"

"No worries," Regulus nods. He’s always happy to take on trauma patients. They usually far more exciting to attend to.

"Thank you, love," she says. "I won't be long. Everything alright up there?"

"All good."

After the call, Regulus sneaks off to the mess room to make himself a cup of coffee, and by the time he gets back, the scans are ready to be viewed on the computer.

Even at a glance, Regulus can see that the patient has almost completely compressed their lower spine. His interest sparks into the history of the injury, and if he wasn't so tired, he'd be excited to see that this injury is likely to need reconstructive surgery.

"Pst."

Regulus’ focus jolts. The single sound is short and low, but Regulus could recognise it from anywhere. He knows exactly who is behind him, and he refuses to allow himself to be distracted.

Without moving a muscle, Regulus keeps scanning the MRI scan on the screen in front of him.

If I ignore him for long enough, he’ll get bored and go away.

Much like a toddler.

Or a stray dog.

"Pst!"

Regulus feels his eye twitch in irritation.

Go away.

Go away.

Go aw—

"Psttttttt—!"

"What?!" Regulus snaps, whirling round to face the idiot leaning over the desk.

Sirius doesn’t seem startled by Regulus’ reaction. Instead, he lolls against the desk like it’s a bed instead of a hospital reception. "What are you doing?"

"Working, you fucking imbecile. What does it look like?"

"What is that?" Sirius asks, nodding to the screen with the scan photos.

"A MRI scan of a man’s spine that’s been crushed like a toothpick."

"Fucking hell," Sirius’ eyebrows raise to his hairline. He squints, frowning at the screen and grimacing. "Looks mangled."

"It is. Now what do you want?"

"I’m bored."

"And how is that my problem?" Regulus mutters, turning back to the screen and facing his back to the insufferable git annoying him."You are here visiting your boyfriend. You should be focusing on him."

"I am, but he’s gone with Effie for a scan and Mrs Lupin went outside to phone his dad. So therefore I am alone, and I am bored."

"Good for you," Regulus sighs. "Be bored somewhere else."

It goes quiet for a moment, and Regulus thinks for a split second that he’s been granted mercy. Then, Sirius is dropping down in the chair beside him with a loud huff.

Regulus jolts in surprise, horror and pure anger. What is this idiot doing?

"I can’t believe you’re a doctor," Sirius says, either oblivious or unaffected by Regulus’ glare and hostile reaction to him seriously overstepping his jurisdiction. "My little brother, a fully grown fucking doctor."

"You are not allowed behind here, Sirius."

"Eh," Sirius grins, flopping a hand as if to bat Regulus’ argument away. "My unofficial adoptive mother and little brother are doctors. I get special exceptions."

"You get fuck all," Regulus snarls. "Now move! This is all confidential paperwork about our patients. They are not for the eyes of people without an ID badge and a medical educational background."

"Jheez," Sirius whistles, standing up. "You need to calm down a bit, Reg. This kind of high-strung behaviour has got to be bad for your blood pressure."

"It is, you’re right," Regulus smiles sweetly. Then, his face drops to a look that could kill, "Which is why you should fuck off before your presence gives me an aneurysm."

Sirius rolls his eyes, tucking the chair back under the desk top and finally going to stand back on the visitors side of the desk. "There! Happy?"

Regulus rolls his eyes so hard he’s sure they got stuck for a moment. He turns back to his scan, mentally fist-pumping the air when he see’s Euphemia has also sent through the patient’s file and history. Behind him, Sirius is rambling about tennis and work and utterly irrelevant shite, but Regulus pays him no mind. Sure, he is listening, because he periodically rolls his eyes whenever Sirius says something particularly stupid, but he offers no vocal response or reply. Sirius seems fairly content to just talk, or make noise.

Regulus doesn’t know how long he is subjected to Sirius’ presence for, but then, by some grace from above, he see’s Remus’ bed being wheeled back down the corridor.

Thank god, he thinks. Now Sirius will piss off.

Sirius literally goes skipping off after Remus, and Regulus almost lets out a weep in relief. He drops his head on the desk with a loud thud and seriously contemplates if he is going to survive this shift.

The next three hours pass in a blur of chaos. The spinal patient comes up, and Regulus is swept off his feet with assessments, further scans, pain relief, surgery meetings with Slughorn and more meetings with the patient. As well as this, three patients need discharge assessments and prescriptions that take up a surprising amount of time due to the family members using Regulus’ time like a bloody tutor lesson in human biology.

Regulus is slumped against the reception desk, scrawling down his assessment findings, diagnosis and prescriptions when Alex comes bouncing up to him.

"Afternoon, Doc," she quips.

"Alright, Alex?"

She hums in confirmation and drops down a file. "Observations are done for 405, and they’re ready for their discharge exam and papers."

"Brilliant," Regulus mutters, with absolutely no gusto.

She frowns. "You alright, Regulus?"

"Absolutely peachy."

"Well, I think your day is going to get a whole lot better, Doctor Black," Alex muses, the corner of her mouth twitching upwards.

"Yeah?" Regulus sighs, rubbing his eyes. "And how do you propose that is?"

Alex just smirks wider and nods at something over Regulus' shoulder.

When Regulus follows her line of sight behind him, he doesn't notice Alex slip away from the reception desk. His entire focus is on the man coming through the double doors, dressed in a deep racing green uniform and linked arms with Euphemia.

In an instant, all the air in Regulus’ lungs seem to disappear and he stares with hypnotised eyes as James and Euphemia make their way onto the ward. He quickly snaps out of his admiration, remembering he was half way through writing up someones file, but he feels too stupidly distracted to look back down at the paper.

Euphemia flashes Regulus a soft, knowing smile as she walks up the reception desk and swipes the file of the next patient that Regulus was planning on seeing next.

Thank you, Effie, he thinks.

You're a bloody angel.

As Euphemia goes, Regulus turns back to James and watches the paramedic approach.

Regulus will never stop loving seeing James in uniform. It's a common opinion; that a man in uniform is instantly attractive, but fuck, James takes the cake and the cherry.

His shirt is tight and fitted across his broad shoulders, the cuffs of the short sleeves rolled up one to show off his toned and big biceps. His trousers hug all the right places, making his legs look a mile long. His hair is messy and curly, his eyes bright and his smile huge. He looks radiant, healthy, and in his element.

He looks like a fucking meal, and Regulus is starving.

The only annoying thing is that other people get to enjoy the view too.

Regulus doesn't even want to know how many people enjoy seeing James in uniform. If he thinks about it too long, he gets almost blinded with enough jealousy that he wants to brand James as much as he can to show he's taken.

Still, Regulus thinks smugly, everyone else might still him in the uniform, but no one else gets to enjoy the view underneath.

That's for my eyes only.

"Prongs!" Sirius cheers, loud and aggravating Regulus' brewing headache.

"Hey, Pads," James replies, face split with a wide and bright smile. "You alright?"

Sirius nods, nodding his head towards Remus' room. "You got time to come in?"

"Yeah, I won't be a minute," James says.

After Sirius has disappeared, James turns his full attention to Regulus, walking up to his side. He has a two coffees in a carry holder and a big paper bag that he puts on the side.

"Hello," Regulus greets, scrawling down the last notes about the new prescription in the patients file.

"Hey, love," James smiles down at him. "You look ravishing this afternoon."

Regulus' head snaps up and he glares at the taller man. "That's not funny."

"I'm not trying to be funny. You could be dressed in a black rubbish bag and I'd still think you're absolutely edible," James grins. "Did you sleep alright?"

"In a plastic chair? Yes, James. I slept like the fucking princess and the pea."

"A bit tired then?"

"Just a bit," Regulus grunts, tossing down the file with irritation.

Tired is a bloody understatement.

"Quite grouchy too," James adds, nonplussed.

Regulus flashes him a glare, but James just coos, pulling Regulus into his chest and cuddling him close. One arm winds around the small of Regulus' back, while the other across his shoulders. His hand strokes the back of his neck and runs through the base of his hair, and Regulus simply melts.

"I love you," he whispers into Regulus' hair, where his face is pressed and his warm breathes tickle Regulus' skin.

"Love you too," Regulus murmurs. "Please tell me that coffee is for me?"

"It is. The food too."

"What food?"

"A pastry and a sandwich from that bakery in Wimbledon that you really like."

Regulus sighs happily, pressing a light kiss to James' chest. "Thank you."

James rubs his hair softly before dipping his head and kissing Regulus' forehead.

"Oi, lovebirds!" Sirius' voice ingrains in Regulus' head like nails scraping loudly on a chalkboard. "Can you stop hugging please so I can see my best friend?"

Regulus sighs loudly into James chest, hiding his face in the green uniform. He practically nuzzles James' sternum, burrowing into him as if he's trying to crawl inside and disappear.

"Please make him leave," Regulus begs mournfully.

James chuckles above him, resuming in stroking his hair. "Forcing patients off of hospital wards is kind of out of my job description, love."

Regulus whines, petulant and childish but he doesn't care.

He stays in James' arms for another minute. He shouldn't, because he's a doctor and he's at work and the ward is busy, but in that moment, all Regulus can think is fuck it. James is warm, and Regulus is like butter melted against him.

He just wants to be held for a little while longer.

— tbc.