carpe diem

27

JAMES

Mornings like this are James’ favourite.

The spring sun has risen outside and a soft golden light glows from behind the closed curtains, making the window looks like it has a halo ring around it.

James and Regulus are tangled together, their bodies warm and moulded together. In their sleep, Regulus seems to have flipped over. When James went to sleep, he was spooning Regulus from behind, but now Regulus has flipped and is facing James, one arm slung over James' waist and around his back while the other is tucked between their chests.

From their positions, James can easily see Regulus' face, can trace his features and drink in every inch of him.

James loves laying like this. More so, he loves waking up first so he can have some time to appreciate the man he's wrapped around. Their legs are entwined, James' arms wrapped around Regulus and holding the smaller man as close as he can.

James has never been one who was highly strung towards someone's looks as their main form of attraction. Someone being conventionally or even unconventionally attractive has never been high on James' priority when it came to finding a partner, male or female. However, he is not going to lie and say that Regulus is anything other than absolutely beautiful, and James didn’t realise he could be so attracted to a person until he met the man currently in his arms.

Regulus is beautiful inside and out. James will argue with anyone who even hints a disagreement, and right now, he’s the only one in the world that gets to enjoy the view in front of him.

Regulus' face is soft with sleep. His usual scowl or frown or tight jaw is gone and instead, he's relaxed and smooth. Small, slow and soft breaths escape through the crack between his lips, his eyelashes flutter over his cheekbones occasionally. James tracks his eyes over every inch of pale skin, sharp angle of bone, and dark curls the fan over his forehead and on the pillow underneath his head.

Regulus' shifts have worked poorly in his favour this week, only granting him two days off in-between straight runs of four shifts either side. They only have today and tomorrow off together, and James is more than happy to allow Regulus to sleep in today. He turned off their alarms for this morning, because Regulus still has dark bags underneath his eyes even though he's asleep. It's a testament to how tired Regulus truly is considering he's still sleeping deeply and it's past 10 in the morning.

James is an avid morning person. He wakes with the sun, almost religiously, every morning. Regulus seems to be someone that is neither a night owl nor a morning person, instead he seems to just nap at any given time and call that his daily sleep. Regulus seems to be a bit better with getting a healthy amount of sleep most days now he's with James, but shift work typically doesn't pose well for routine nights sleep.

James hates it when Regulus looks tired. And not just the tired from working a long day, but the tired from working too many long days for too long of a time without getting any substantial sleep and rest in between.

He tries to fix that while they're together, and since their holiday, they spend most nights together now. They usually sleep at Regulus', due to the responsibility of Sylvester and the privacy of Regulus having his own apartment. Last night, Regulus had said that Pandora was staying at his apartment with Sylvester because she needed somewhere to study for her exam at the end of the week and her dad was home. Regulus had apparently offered up his apartment to her for some quiet, because he's an angel, and it worked in James' favour; Regulus could stay round his.

Regulus typically avoids staying round James' flat while Sirius is home, not that James blames him. The brothers relationship is still running along a fine line, even after Remus' surgery. James hates that it's so hard for them both, but he's keeping himself patient and in check to not rush them. Or more specifically, to not rush Regulus.

Naturally, Sirius seems to be ready to mend their estranged relationship. James gets it; it's probably Sirius' dream come true, to have Regulus back in his life without the overshadowing of their parents. Regulus isn't quite so happy, the wounds still raw and weeping from his abandonment when he was a teenager. James thinks he's been brave enough to even keep James around, let alone to allow Sirius to stay too.

James is letting Regulus go at his own pace, though he does worry that Sirius' attempts to act as normal as possible is suffocating Regulus more than it's melting his icy walls. Sirius' attitude and natural loudness seems to be backing Regulus into a corner, and James worries that Regulus is going to snap like a wild animal out of protection.

James just wants them to be happy. He wants them to be able to live as in harmony as they can, all for his own selfish reasons. He knows it's selfish, which is why he's desperately trying not to push them. He wants his best friend and his boyfriend to get along, because they're both so important to him that he can live without either of them.

Time, he remembers. His mother told him to give them time. 

As James looks down at Regulus' sleeping, soft face, he knows he'll give the younger man all the time in the world.

He's worth the wait.

The peaceful silence is suddenly shattered by the bedroom door bursting open. It swings with the ferocity of a bull charging through, the momentum almost knocking it off its hinges and banging against the wall with a loud crack.

James jumps in surprise, and he feels Regulus tense in his arms. He gapes at the doorway where Sirius comes flying in, the other boys hair a messy state and his pyjama pants clearly inside out and barely on his hips.

"Wake up!" Sirius cries, eyes wide and voice shrill.

James frowns, heart pounding in concern and confusion. "Padfoot, what are you—"

"Regulus! Wake up!" Sirius screams, coming to the side of the bed where Regulus’ back is facing. "Wake up, you twat!"

"F’ck 'ff," Regulus grumbles, voice merely a croak as he presses his face into the pillow.

Either Sirius didn't hear, or he doesn't care, because Regulus' response goes straight over his head and he bellows, "Reg! Wake! Up!"

Regulus flips onto his back and lets out an animalistic snarl, staring up at Sirius with a look so cold that it could turn the sun into ice. "What the fuck do you want?"

James isn't going to lie that Sirius looks utterly frazzled. If his entrance was anything to go by, James starts to worry that something is seriously wrong.

He can't smell any fire, so he assumes the flat isn't burning down.

He can't see any blood on Sirius, so he's going to assume he's uninjured.

The only thing that comes to mind is—

"Moony has a headache."

James blinks. There's a beat of silence between them all as James' head stops spinning in panic and the two Black brothers continue to stare at each other.

Honestly, James wasn't expecting that.

Judging by Sirius' entrance and aura, he was expecting something a bit more... catastrophic.

"What?" Regulus grunts.

"He has a headache," Sirius repeats, voice high with urgency. "He’s had it since last night, and he keeps trying to tell me he’s fine, but what if he’s not? What if it’s a bleed or something? Or his brain is swollen? Or—"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Regulus whispers harshly.

Sirius frowns. "What—?"

"The man had his skull cut open two weeks ago, of course he has a fucking headache!" Regulus hisses. "You woke me up for that?!"

"Is… is it not anything to worry about?" Sirius sputters. "It’s been two weeks, shouldn’t he—"

Regulus sits up on his elbows so fast that James worries for a second that he's going to get up and physically hit Sirius out of the room.

"He had brain surgery, you utter idiot! Yes, he’s still going to have a fucking headache because we opened up his fucking head and took some of his brain out!" Regulus shouts.

James winces at the volume that Regulus' voice reaches, and he wishes he could grab the younger boy and hide him under the covers again.

"Reg, please! I'm worried about him!" Sirius cries, running a hand through his hair and making the long strands look tossed and ragged.

Regulus sighs, dropping his head back on the pillow. He closes his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose.

"Is he confused?" He asks.

Sirius immediately shakes his head. "No."

"Is his face lopsided and drooping?"

"No."

"Is he complaining of vision or hearing loss?"

"No."

"Has he collapsed?"

"No."

"Are his pupils different sizes?"

"I don’t think so."

"Then shut up and fuck off!" Regulus snarls, eyes snapping open and instantly glaring daggers at Sirius. "Remus is fine. Tell him to take some paracetamol and sit on his arse all day."

"B-but—" Sirius stammers.

James understands Sirius' panic, his best friend has been on edge ever since Remus came home that something might be wrong. James knows he'd be exactly the same if he was in Sirius' shoes, he just wishes he'd contained his panic for another hour until Regulus had woken up when he was ready.

"I have absolutely no duty of care towards you or him while I am off shift," Regulus hisses. "If you don’t get out of this room in the next five seconds I am going to rip your arm off and shove it down your throat."

Sirius blanches, face dropping in horror at the threat as Regulus flops back onto his side. James can’t help but chuckle at the way Sirius takes a tentative step back, and he pulls the duvet back up to tuck it up to Regulus’ shoulders as the younger man curls back into James’ chest.

"Prongs… he… he…"

"Go on, mate," James says softly. "Moony is fine."

"But—"

"He’s fine, Pads," James stresses, stroking Regulus’ hair placatingly when the younger man grumbles at still being disturbed still. "Reg can check him when we get up. He’s right; having a headache after brain surgery is normal. His head has a lot of healing to do. See if some painkillers work for him so he’s comfortable."

"Fine," Sirius pouts, shoulders slumping. His friend huffs petulantly as he spins on his heels and begins to leave the room.

James stops him just as he reaches the door.

"And, Pads?"

Sirius looks over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Maybe stop screaming if Moony has a headache."

Sirius blinks in realisation, swallowing audibly. He nods, guilt clear on his face. "Right. Good idea."

The door closes softly, a vast contrast to how it was opened, and the silence settles again.

Regulus huffs against his chest. "I hate him."

"He's just worried," James says. Sirius isn’t boisterous by choice, he’s just an energetic and wild person. James knows he didn’t come in here with the intention of pissing Regulus off. He came in here because he was worried about his recovering boyfriend and naturally, he wanted the opinion of the neurology expert in the flat.

"He woke me up," Regulus grumbles, tone petulant and stroppy.

"I know, love," James murmurs, kissing his head. "I’m sorry."

Regulus sighs, low and slow, his entire body deflating bonelessly against James’.

"Do you think I should go and check on Remus?"

James can’t help but smile. Regulus may pretend he’s the icy king of London, that he doesn’t care about anyone and he’s got the emotional span of an undiagnosed psychopath, but James knows better. He knows that Regulus is actually deeply in-tuned, that he cares deeply for his patients and his friends. Lucky for Remus, he’s turned out to be both.

"Nah. It can wait. If he wasn't fine, Remus would have come in here himself. He wouldn't have been daft enough to send Sirius in hysterics," James replies. "Don't blame him too much, though. He doesn't know what to expect out of someone who's had brain surgery."

"Because he’s an idiot," Regulus huffs.

"Yeah," James shrugs. "But he’s a worried idiot, so go easy on him."

Regulus sighs again, breath hot against James neck.

"Did you sleep okay?" James murmurs.

They didn’t get their moment when Regulus woke up. James didn’t get to watch Regulus’ nose twitch, a tale-tale sign that he’s waking. He didn’t get to watch his sleepy eyes open, listen to him call James a creeper for watching him sleep. He didn’t get to see his dopey smile when James kissed him good morning, and then frown at their morning breaths. He didn’t get to watch as Regulus stretched like a cat, groaning as his joints cracked and then slump bonelessly back onto James.

James didn’t get any of it, and he’s tempted to pout about it.

Stupid Sirius.

Regulus nods. "Though, your bed is no where near as comfy as mine."

"Your bed is covered in blankets. It’s like trying to sleep in an oven."

"It’s warm."

"You don’t need blankets to keep you warm when you have me," James grins, and to prove his point, he rolls Regulus onto his back and wraps himself round the smaller man like a koala. Regulus grunts at the weight, but lets it happen and melts into the mattress underneath him.

"Warm yet?" James purrs into Regulus neck, lips pressed into his pulse point.

Regulus hums, arms wrapping around his shoulders and playing with the hairs on the back of his neck. "Getting there. How long do we have before Sirius comes back in again?"

"Depends what you want to do?"

"We are not having sex with Sirius in the next room."

James whines in disagreement.

"No, James."

"So mean."

"Don’t be desperate."

"Can you blame me? You’re naked in my bed."

"I have a top on."

"Yeah, but I can still take it off. Then you’ll be naked."

Regulus huffs and just holds him closer.

James could go back to sleep. He’s warm, cosy, and so fucking comfortable that he’s pretty sure he could easily drift off again and then they could restart.

James doesn’t know how much time passes while they lay there, but when he hears his own stomach grumble, he realises that they should get up.

"Why don’t you go and shower while I fix us some breakfast," James offers, pressing a soft kiss to Regulus’ neck.

Regulus’ eyes are closed when he lifts his head and gazes down at the man.

"I’m going to use all of Sirius’ shampoo," he murmurs, voice thick with sleep again.

James smiles. "Go for it, love. Is that your sweet revenge for him waking you up?"

"It’s just a start."

God, he’s adorable when he’s sleepy and angry.

James rolls off of Regulus so the younger man can get out of bed, stretching on his back and watching as Regulus, only dressed in a navy blue t-shirt, gets up. James’ mouth practically salivates at the sight of his naked peachy arse and long legs, feeling wounded when slips on some sweatpants. James must accidentally make a sound of displeasure, because Regulus looks over his shoulder at him and smirks.

"What?"

"Nothing," James says, but he knows he’s pouting. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Anything is fine," Regulus murmurs. "As long as there’s coffee."

James rolls his eyes. His boyfriend is a bloody caffeine addict.

After Regulus has disappeared into the shower, James drags himself out of bed and gets dressed. He finds Remus and Sirius on the sofa, Remus in the pillow they made for him the day he was discharged and Sirius unhelpfully sprawled on top of him.

If James thought Sirius was clinging before hand, he shared a new level after Remus' surgery.

It took three days of Remus being home before Sirius stopped following him everywhere, including even to the toilet. After that, Sirius has been watching and listening like a hawk every time Remus moves or is out of sight. James was labelled the mother-hen of the group, but Sirius has taken that crown well and truly.

Since coming home, Remus has recovered impressively well. He tires easily, has been sleeping a lot, and understandably, his head hurts, but all the side effects that the surgeons and doctors warned them about haven’t made themselves known yet. Eating has been a challenge, fatigue combined with pain has completely depleted his appetite, and despite being so tired he’s been napping like a newborn, James knows he’s been agitated by his inability to do anything.

The new hair cut has taken some getting used to. James has never seen Remus with a shaved head, but it was decided soon after he got home that the half-shaven look made him feel utterly ridiculous and got James to shave the rest off. After a week, James was used to the buzz-cut, and while Remus forgets that he has practically no hair anymore and keeps attempting to run his fingers through what isn’t there, Sirius has not held back with the compliments to make him feel better about it.

James knows that surgery recovery is slow and requires patience, and he feels for Remus feeling so incapable of doing anything himself. He’s just glad that recovery wise, it’s been very uneventful for them all. Remus is healing well, and it’s been a relief for everyone.

Plus, most importantly, he hasn’t had any seizures.

Time will tell if they are completely gone, but so far, the lack of them has been a blessing. 

"Come on, Pads," James says as he walks past them. "You’re helping me make breakfast for our men."

Sirius groans but gets up, following James into the kitchen.

"How’s the head, Moony?" James asks as he gets out the ingredients from the fridge.

"Fine, thank you," Remus replies. "I’m sorry for waking you both up. I may have been milking the headache to try and make Sirius feel bad and then he’d make me a cup of tea."

Sirius eyes widen in surprise. "I would have made you tea if you’d just asked!"

"Well, I wasn’t expecting you to cause such a commotion over a headache, was I?" Remus sighs tiredly. "I didn’t want to keep asking, because I feel like all I’ve done for two weeks is use you as a house maid, so I thought the sympathy route might have been easier. I didn’t realise you’d get so panicked and wake everyone up."

"Moony," Sirius sighs sadly. "You bloody idiot. You should have just asked for a cup of tea!"

"I did have a headache though."

Sirius rolls his eyes, but James just waves them both off.

"It’s okay," James smiles. "As long as you’re alright, mate. You taken any painkillers?"

"Yeah. They’ve helped a bit."

"Good," James nods. "Pads, we need to talk."

Sirius’ head snaps up from where he’s getting out the bread ready to go in the toaster. "What’s up, Prongs?"

"It’s about Regulus."

Sirius frowns. "What... what about Regulus?"

James takes a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for a chat that he is going to be a hard pill for his best friend to swallow, but he needs to do this. He needs to do this for Regulus, and for Sirius too.

"I’m sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to make you both so angry, I was just… I was worried! I don’t know what to expect with Moony, and I don’t want to miss something and h-he—"

"It’s not about this morning, Pads," James shakes his head. "You don’t need to apologise— well, actually, yes you do. You probably should apologise to Reg, 'cause you did wake him up, but that’s not what I want to talk about."

Sirius frowns again, eyebrows pulled taught. "Then, what’s wrong?"

"I don’t want to upset you, but I… I think you need to back off a bit, Pads," James begins carefully. "Regulus is… uh, I think he’s struggling with how much you’ve been around recently, with all the time in hospital with Remus and all."

"R-really?"

James nods, feeling like his chest has been punched by the Rock at the sight of Sirius’ gutted expression.

"You’re acting with him like you’d act with me, or my mum, but you two don’t have that kind of relationship yet," James says carefully. "He still…" he still kind of hates you, "He’s still processing what happened between the two of you, and you’re just… kind of acting as if the last ten years hasn’t happened."

Sirius’ face falls further. He looks stricken, confused, and completely blindsided.

"I thought… I didn’t realise I was… I thought…" Sirius trails off wearily, rubbing his face. "I just want to fix what I ruined. He was so… he was so brilliant at the hospital, with Remus and his mum and me. I figured… I guess I thought that things were good between us."

James doesn’t know how to tell Sirius that Regulus was only like that because Remus was his patient. Sure, Regulus likes Remus as a person too, but the majority of how things went down at the hospital was because it was Regulus’ job to be kind, caring and considerate to all three of them. Regulus had to put his differences between the two of them to the side because he had a duty as a doctor and a surgeon.

"You’re overstepping his boundaries, mate. I know you’re not trying to upset him, but you’ve gone from giving him space to breathing down his neck very quickly. He’s… he’s still trying to adjust to it all, Pads. You guys have almost a decade of bad blood to fix, and it’s not going to go away within a few months. He just needs time, and a bit more space than what you’re giving him."

Sirius shakes his head. His face is a white sheet of guilt. "I… I didn’t realise I was…"

"I know," James smiles sadly. "I know you want everything to be normal between the two of you, but you can’t rush it. He’s been so hurt by you, Pads, and I know you want everything to heal itself and I know you feel so guilty for what happened, but it’s too much to expect him to just… be okay with you again, so soon."

"I just…" Sirius rasps, voice thick with emotion. He clenches his eyes shut, and James’ heart cracks a bit to know he’s causing this. "I’ve missed him, Prongs. I’ve missed him for so long, and now he’s here again I don’t know how to… I don’t know how to fix what I’ve done without—… I’m scared if I give him too much space he’ll disappear. I can’t— I can’t lose him again, Prongs. It was my own fault, and I know I left him, and I know nothing I can do will ever undo the pain I’ve caused him, but… I can’t lose him again."

Sirius’ admission leaves James feeling breathless. He knew all along that Sirius has been acting this way with the best intentions, but he needs his friend to see it from Regulus’ point of view.

"You won’t," James promises. "You won’t lose him again, Pads, unless you keep pushing him away. Your version of trying is his version of pushing. He’s not like you, or me, or Moony. He needs space to heal, not smothering."

James can see his words sinking in. Sirius’ face is, for once, unreadable. He hangs his head, shoulders slumped as if James’ accusation is feeling like the weight of the world on him.

Sirius is quiet for so long that James risks a glance at Remus, who’s still on the sofa but has sat up and looked over his shoulder at them. James’ face must show his worry, because Remus gives him a tight smile and just nods.

Maybe Remus has noticed too, then.

Maybe Remus thinks Sirius needs to slow down.

Maybe Remus agrees with James.

Shit, I hope he agrees with me.

Not that James would take back anything he’s said; he did this because he knows Regulus isn’t adapting to how fast Sirius is trying to mend their relationship, but it’s nice to know that Remus probably agrees with what he’s said.

"Okay," Sirius murmurs eventually. Then, he lifts his head, expression remorseful but determined. He nods, shoulders squaring and says, "Okay, I… will you help me? I don’t even know when I’m 'smothering' him, Prongs. I… can you give me signs when I need to back off? Or when I’m overstepping? Please?"

James can’t stop himself from smiling in relief. He nods, "Of course I will, Pads. I want you two to get along so much, but if it’s going to come from anyone, it needs to come from Reg. We need to follow his lead in this."

"Follow his lead," Sirius nods. "Got it."

Feeling better and lighter, James continues in cooking a fry-up breakfast. He gets Sirius to work on the eggs and the toast while James does the sausage and bacon. When it’s almost finished, he makes Regulus a fresh mug of coffee, knowing that will the first thing Regulus is going to want when he gets out of the shower. He’s just handed Remus a cup of tea when Regulus appears from the bathroom, freshly washed, curly hair still damp, and dressed in a pair of James’ sweatpants and  a hoodie.

He looks cosy and adorable in James’ clothes, which are a few sizes too large. He also looks unfairly sexy, with his joggers tucked into his socks and hoodie reaching his mid-thigh. James doesn’t know if he wants to scoop him up in a hug or rip the clothes off and turn him into a pile of shaking, moaning goo in bed.

"Morning, Reg," Remus says from the sofa.

Regulus flashes him a small smile. "Morning, Remus. How’s the head?"

"It’s fine, thank you. The painkillers have helped a bit."

"Just a headache?"

"Yeah. I’m sorry about him this morning, Reg," Remus apologises, nodding at Sirius. "I didn't ask him to talk to you. I told him I was fine."

Sirius gapes at Remus in horror, but the older man just grins cheekily at him. James shakes his head at their antics.

"It's fine," Regulus shrugs, and then he flashes Sirius a cold look, "But if you wake me up like that again, I’m going to smash the bedside lamp over your head and make you eat the broken bulb."

Sirius shakes his head. "You really need to see someone about that temper, Reg."

"You really need to learn when to shut the fuck up."

"Okay!" James interrupts loudly, stopping the brewing argument before it happens. He holds out a mug to Regulus, "Coffee, love?"

The shorter man snatches the coffee as quickly as he can without spilling it and holds it against his chest like he’s cradling a small animal. James chuckles at his antics, leaning forward to kiss his damp hair before turning back to the bacon.

It's not long before they're all sitting round the dining table, four plates of fry-up in front of them. Regulus is on his second cup of coffee, and slowly warming up to the prospect of being awake as James and Sirius chat away about the tattoo work he's gone back to after taking the week off with Remus.

When they’ve finished eating and are all finishing their coffees and teas, Remus asks, "What's the plan today for you guys?"

"Er," James looks at Regulus, "is there anything you want to do?"

Regulus takes a moment to think, and then he shrugs, "It'd be nice to drop by and check on Pandora, make sure she hasn't passed out in her textbooks."

"Sure!" James grins, nodding. "We can go and see her!"

"What's Pandora studying?" Sirius asks.

"Midwifery," Regulus replies. "She's a third year student, graduating in a few months time."

"Does midwifery take longer than becoming a doctor?" Remus asks, and Regulus shakes his head.

"She had to take a few years out when her mum got sick," he explains. "The course only takes three years, but she dropped out at the beginning of second year so she had to go back and finish her last two before qualifying."

"Shit," Remus murmurs. "That's awful, but good on her for going back."

Regulus nods sadly, flashing a small smile.

She's the strongest person I know, James remembers Regulus telling him before. The pride and respect Regulus has for Pandora is breathtaking. James agrees wholeheartedly, because from what he's heard and seen of Pandora, she truly is the toughest cookie in the jar - after Regulus, of course.

James may be bias, but he will always think that Regulus is the strongest, smartest, toughest person to walk the planet.

And the most handsome.

By far.

An hour later, and the pair of them are stepping out onto the streets of London. It’s the end of June, so the air is warm and the sun above them is beating down heat. The pavements and roads are busy with commuters and shoppers, but James doesn’t mind; he loves London, even with it’s crowds and queues and masses of people.

The last few weeks have been manic with Remus' surgery, Regulus' mess of shifts and sporadic days off, and James' days off wanting to keep an eye on his healing friend and his shifts that seem to be on opposite so Regulus'. They haven't seemed to have more than a handful of days off together that haven't been spent desperately trying to do something together while both being sleep deprived.

Today, Regulus seems replenished after his extended sleep in this morning, so James is excited for the day ahead of them.

The sun is shining, they're together, and they're going to go and see Pandora, who james genuinely thinks is absolutely awesome.

"Does Pandora like pastries?"

"She does. Why?"

"We could stop by Peter’s cafe and get her a coffee and something sweet," James offers.

It's been too long since he's seen Peter. Well, it's only been about 10 days, but with everything that's been going on, James has missed him. He knows Peter has checked in with Remus a few times, and had gone round Mrs Lupin's house to help her out while she'd been in the hospital with Remus for two weeks. Peter seemed to pick up all the loose ends for everyone while Remus was admitted before and after his surgery, and James is admirable to that.

Regulus nods. "Yeah. Let’s do that. We can get coffee too then."

James grins, slinging an arm around Regulus’ shoulder.

The walk to Pettigrew cafe doesn't take long. As usual, the place is buzzing with customers, seated inside and out. Peter is behind the counter when they walk in, serving another customer. They browse at the pastries and cakes while they wait, when the customer is gone, James turns to his friend and practically bounces up to the till.

"Wormtail!" James cheers.

Peter's grin is a mile long, though he winces at the volume of James' shout. "Hey, Prongs! Hi, Reg. You guys alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, we're all good," James beams. "You?"

"Still alive and kicking," Peter nods. "How's Moony?"

"He's good, lad. Recovering and all that jazz."

"Oh yeah? How's Pads dealing with it all? When I spoke to him a few days ago all he kept talking about was the symptoms he's looking out for if Remus needs to go back into hospital."

"Don't even mention him," Regulus snaps.

Peter laughs loudly, nodding, "He being a pain in the ass, then?"

"He's just a bit over cautious and paranoid," James shrugs. "It was a bit of an abrupt wake up this morning."

Regulus grumbles beside him, and James strokes the small of his back placatingly.

"Wouldn't expect any less from Pads," Peter agrees. "What can I get you two?"

They give Peter their drinks order and James ignores the sharp eyebrow Peter sends him while he rattles off the long list of pastries. Peter shakes his head as he puts them all in bags, the display case becoming more and more empty as he goes.

"Y'know, it might be good for business but you've almost sold us clean out before the lunchtime rush," Peter snarks pointedly. "You're gonna have to explain to my Ma why she's got to bake our entire selection again before midday, Prongs."

James just grins and shrugs. "I'll speak to Mama P any day, Wormy. Your Ma loves me!"

"She ain't gonna love you when she see's this empty fucking case, ya idiot."

"Please stop being rude to customers, Pete. It's bad for business," Mrs Pettigrew chides as she comes out from the bakery room behind the counter with a tray full of croissants. She spots James and her entire face lights up. "James! My darling, hello!"

"Hey, Mammy P," James beams, winking when Peter rolls his eyes so hard it looks like it hurts. "Sorry for selling you out of macarons and cinnamon swirls. We've got a poor midwifery student in need of a sweet pick-me-up."

"That's no worries, sweetheart," the older woman smiles, placing the fresh and full tray inside the display case. "That's what the oven is for - making more treats!" Then, she seems to notice the boy tucked under James' arm. "And who is this? Boys! Where are your manners? Why have I not been introduced to this young man?"

"Sorry, Mammy P. This is Regulus."

"James' boyfriend, Ma."

"Hello, Mrs Pettigrew," Regulus greets, smiling politely. "It’s nice to finally meet you."

"Are you the pretty doctor that our James is always buying coffees for?"

Regulus blinks in surprise.

"It is, Mammy P," James grins, kissing Regulus’ head.

"My, aren't you just a whisp of a boy! I mean, you're absolutely gorgeous, love, but y'look like it's been about a decade since you had a decent meal!" Mrs Pettigrew exclaims. "No, no, no. That will not do! Peter, love, go into the kitchen and bag these boys up some sausage rolls and chausson aux pommes. They're ready to come out of the oven, so they'll be piping hot and fresh for these boys."

"I think they've got enough, Ma," Peter replies as he pours the milk into the jug in preparation for their lattes.

"Yes, Mrs Pettigrew," Regulus agrees hastily, looking positively overwhelmed. "That is very generous, but we don't—"

"You're built like the side of a fiver, son," Mrs Pettigrew interrupts sternly. James knows that voice. It is the woman's don't bloody argue with me voice. "I cannot, in good conscience, let you walk out of here without some of my very best chausson aux pommes. You look like a decent gust of wind will blow you away!"

Regulus seems to gape like a fish while Peter disappears into the back room to get them even more food. Mrs Pettigrew finishes up the coffees and chatters to Regulus about his job, how he met James, and when she remembers he’s half French, she begins discussing all the French pastries in their display case. After Regulus seems to have gotten over his initial shock of Mrs Pettigrew’s natural maternal instincts towards him, he flows with the conversation with ease. James feels completely awed at the way Regulus chats with Mrs Pettigrew, actually smiling at points and no longer seeming overwhelmed.

When the coffees are done and the extra pastries are bagged, Mrs Pettigrew smiles at them both.

"You must come in again soon, darlings. It’s been so long, James, and Regulus, you are just an absolute darling!"

"Thank you, Mrs Pettigrew," Regulus replies.

"We’ll be back, Mammy P. Look after yourself, yeah? Make sure you give Peter all the heavy lifting."

"Oi!" Peter shouts, but Mrs Pettigrew just laughs.

"I already do, love," she winks.

When they leave, their arms are full with beverages and brown paper bags, but James can’t stop grinning from ear to ear like an idiot as they walk to Regulus’ flat.

"She absolutely loved you," he says. "Not that I’m surprised, of course."

He feels foolishly giddy that Mrs Pettigrew loved Regulus. It feels like the ultimate note of approval, when Peter’s mother likes someone, because the woman is like a bloodhound when it comes to the wrong people. She always seems to get a sixth sense when someone isn’t genuine, and James knows that’s where Peter gets it from. For her to have loved Regulus off the bat, means that Regulus is officially part of the family.

"I think she’s going to try and get us both fat," Regulus says, nodding to the bag of pastries in James’ arms.

"Yeah, if Mammy P is anything, she’s a feeder."

"She’s nice," Regulus nods, smiling slightly.

"The Pettigrew’s are some of the best," James agrees.

After all they’ve been through as a family with the death of Mr Pettigrew when all the kids were so young, they are still so strong and heart-felt. They have enough on their plate, but they’re still the type to drop everything at the cry of someone else. Mrs Pettigrew is a feeder, and she’s raised Peter to be the most giving, generous, and caring individual.

It’s why James will always be in awe of Mrs Pettigrew and the kids she’s raised.

Peter isn’t one to be in the spotlight helping someone. It showed when Remus was in hospital and during his recovery. Peter wasn’t at his bedside everyday, he saved those spots for his mother and Sirius, but while that was going on, Peter was working behind the stage curtains. He was meal prepping for Mrs Lupin when she got home. He worked at her florist shop so she could keep her business running. He brought them in food and drinks when they didn’t want to leave Remus. Peter isn’t someone who is in your face when it comes to helping, he’s happy to do the things in that background that keep the clogs turning and the clock chiming.

And more, Peter never takes credit for it. He’ll just shrug and say it’s what friends do.

Peter’s generosity is unmatched, people just don’t always notice it.

The walk to Regulus’ flat is thankfully short, so the coffee’s in their hands don’t get cold. James and Regulus sip at their own as they walk, and the hot temperature that floods their mouths assure them that Pandora’s is still fresh and drinkable.

Regulus unlocks the door to his flat, and when he swings the door open, James’ greeting grin slides into a face of shock at the sight that greets him on the other side.

Pandora is sitting cross-legged on the floor, back against the sofa. Around her, the floor is covered in open books, piles of more books, and papers that hide almost the entirety of the carpet. The small coffee table is covered in study notes and flashcards, pens and highlighters slung everywhere. Pandora herself looks as chaotic as the display around her; blonde hair tied up in a bun that’s barely contained, numerous curls having escaped and stick out sporadically. Her pyjamas are rumpled, and there is a pair of deep purple bags underneath her eyes.

She doesn’t look up when they walk in, just snatches a highlighter off the table and tosses the cap to the side with a grumble of frustration.

"Hey," Regulus says slowly. "It looks like a library exploded in here."

Pandora huffs, not looking up from where she’s highlighting what looks like an entire page of writing in her lap. "Hi."

Judging by the single worded response, James is going to assume the studying isn’t going well.

He holds up the bag of pastries and smiles, "We bought food."

Pandora’s head snaps up so fast James is sure she’s snapped her spine.

"Gimme!" Pandora hisses, holding her hands up. "Give it to me now, Potter!"

"Okay!" James chuckles, leaning over the large circle of papers and books on the floor, careful not to tread on any of them, and handing the bag over. The bag is snatched from his hands unapologetically, and James straightens and explains, "They’re straight from Pettigrew cafe. We’ve got lattes too."

Pandora rips the bag open and stuffs half whole macaron in her mouth. She chews rapidly, letting out small happy noises.

Regulus looks up from where he’s crouched by a spewed pile of papers and smirks, "Happy now?"

Pandora nods vigorously, cheeks stuffed and looking comically like a hamster.

James surveys the room, and feels a pang of nostalgia in his chest. He often looked like this while he was studying paramedicine. He used to shut himself in his bedroom during the week before an exam, his room looking like a bomb went off in a paper factory. His walls would be covered from floor to ceiling in flashcards and notes, his bed uninhabitable when he’d use it as a make-shift desk display for his books. The rest of the Marauders would take it in turns to bring him drink and food, making sure he stayed fed and hydrated while he submerged himself in the content of the exam.

James now understands why Regulus wanted to check on Pandora. The blonde girl looks like she’s just stepped out of a mental asylum and has about 30 minutes before she completely cracks with insanity.

James wonders if he looked like this while he was studying, because if he did, the concerned looks from his friends make sense now.

"What’s your exam on?" James asks.

"It’s a simulation," Pandora says in between taking large gulps of the coffee Regulus has handed her. "We have to run through every birth scenario at random. They’re assigned as random, and we’re given a brief rundown of the mother’s background and history before we have to perform the birth."

"Is it the emergency one?" Regulus asks.

Pandora nods.

"Emergency?" James echoes. "Like emergency births?"

Pandora nods again, looking glum and she stuffs another macaron in her mouth.

"I can help!" James beams. "I know all about emergency births. Well, probably not to the midwife’s level of understanding, but I know what to do pre-hospital. I can… I can help?"

Pandora’s eyes widen, and even with her cheeks stuffed with sweet treats, she nods vigorously.

James grins in relief, happy to be able to help. He knows all about emergency birth scenarios for his job. His eyes flitting to Regulus, who’s sitting on the arm of the sofa with Sylvester in his lap, and the younger man flashes him a soft smile.

James yelps as he’s yanked to the ground, barely managing to not spill his coffee as he stumbles to sit on the floor. A handful of flashcards are thrust into his spare hand, and Pandora faces him.

"Do you know about cord prolapses?" She asks.

James nods, and the blonde grins.

***

"What’r you c’king?" Comes slurred and muffled from the sofa.

James looks over his shoulder from where he’s slicing a block of cheese and finds Sirius’ head slung over the top of the sofa, eyes puffy and droopy with sleep, blinking slowly.

"Cheese on toast, Regulus’ style," James grins. "Good nap?"

Sirius hums, eyes fluttering closed for a moment.

James and Regulus got home about 20 minutes ago and they found Remus and Sirius curled up together on the sofa, both dead asleep and snoring. James could barely hold Regulus back from slapping Sirius awake, the younger man clearly seeming a route for his revenge. Instead, James directed Regulus in the kitchen to help him make a mid-afternoon snack that James had been craving since before they left Regulus’ flat earlier.

They’ve been bustling round the kitchen for about 10 minutes, and James is pretty sure Regulus has been purposely loud and boisterous with the utensils.

"Did someone say cheese on toast?" Remus asks, a moment before his head pops up from the sofa.

James nods. "I hate to break your heart, Moony, but Regulus’ cheese on toast is absolutely elite."

"No fucking way," Sirius mumbles, eyes peeling open again. "Nothing beats Moony’s cheese on toast."

"You haven’t tried Reg’s," James argues. "This shit is a masterpiece, lads."

"What’s so special about it?" Remus asks, tone slightly petulant.

For as long as James can remember, Remus has made the best cheese on toast. It became a staple meal during university years, because whatever Remus did to that food made it taste better than sex.

But, Regulus made James his own version of cheese on toast a couple of months ago, and ever since James has secretly passed the title over to the young doctor.

"Thickly sliced three-cheese loaf, chilli jam, spring onions, vintage cheddar cheese and onion and chive cheese on top. Grilled until golden and then a spring of pepper on top," Regulus explains.

Sirius’ face scrunches up, but James cuts in before he can speak.

"Trust me, Pads. Just wait until you try it before you criticise!"

Sirius huffs, pouting. Remus watches them suspiciously as they move around the kitchen. While Regulus is layering the jam, onions and specific portions of the two cheeses, James makes them all coffees and teas.

By the time the four slices are coming out of the grill, Remus and Sirius are sat at the table, nursing a cup of tea and coffee respectively, both seeming more awake. Sirius seems intrigued, while Remus still looks entirely suspicious and affronted that he’d woken up from his afternoon nap and knocked off the cheese on toast throne.

Regulus seems completely unaffected by the two sets of eyes watching him like a hawk. Instead, he plates up the slices, adds a sprinkle of black pepper to them, and then slides them in front of the two waiting men.

When Regulus and James sit down with them, James can’t stop himself from taking a huge bite. The heat of the cheese instantly burns the roof of his mouth, but when the taste of cheese, spring onions, and chilli jam explodes on his tastebuds, he moans wantonly. It’s a usual combination, and one that James won’t deny he was sceptical to try at first too. But now, he’d put Regulus’ cheese on toast recipe above his mother’s family enchiladas. And that is a fucking high pedestal.

James waits in anticipation as he watches his two friends take their own bites of the toast. Sirius chews slowly, almost hesitantly, and James see’s his eyebrows rise in poorly concealed surprise.

"Good?" James asks.

Sirius nods, tearing off another bite.

"G’d," he grunts around chewing.

Sirius approves, he thinks, and that’s pretty impressive considering Sirius has just sided with his brother over Remus.

James looks at Remus, who’s swallowed his mouthful and is looking at the slice of toast still clasped between his fingers.

"Well?" He asks.

"I’m man enough to admit that this is a solid cheese on toast," Remus says slowly.

"Only 'solid'?" James probs.

Remus purses his lips, and what he says next seems to physically pain him.

"My mother would be envious that she didn’t think of it first."

"That’s Moony’s way of saying yours is better," James clarifies to Regulus, winking.

Regulus’ lips tug up into a smug smirk. He picks up his coffee as if he’s unaffected by the praise, taking a delicate sip.

Then, he nods, "Damn right."

REGULUS

"We’re short staffed," is the first thing that is said to Regulus when he walks onto neurology ward two days later.

He’s barely got two steps onto the ward before Alex, who’s looking frazzled and highly strung, comes whizzing past him with an armful of cannula supplies and tells him the usually tale-tale side of an upcoming shit shift. She disappears into one of the side rooms, and Regulus slumps where he’s standing.

Brilliant, he thinks.

Another shift that will go down as an absolute shit show.

Deciding to face the music, Regulus goes into the mess room to get changed into his scrubs. He shoves his bag in his locker and fixes making himself a cup of coffee to drink during handover. When he steps out, the few staff he can see are running around like headless chickens, and he doesn’t envy them knowing that even with the morning shift coming on, he’s sure most of these staff are going to have a ridiculously late finish.

Dorcas is jogging up to the reception desk as he approaches it, and she flashes him a tired smile.

"I’ve just got to finish wrapping up 407’s assessment, then I’ll be right with you, Reg," Dorcas says as she snatches a file off the reception desk and disappears again without another word.

Regulus takes a seat at the reception desk, and while he waits for Dorcas to finish, he nosey’s at the handover sheet, figuring he might as well check if much has changed since his shift yesterday.

"Excuse me," a woman asks above him. "Where do I find the—"

She cuts herself off when Regulus looks up, at the same time that Regulus’ heart drops to his feet.

He’d recognise the woman in front of him from anywhere, even though they haven’t seen each other for five years.

"Mother?"

— tbc.