Confrontations
"Stay away from Harry, Malfoy." Draco looked up to a wand pointed in his face. He was far on the grounds in a secluded spot he'd thought no one else knew about. Icicles hung from the branches around him, the snow having started to melt the previous day before refreezing in the night chill. He'd liked the way the light refracted through them and made it seem like a small clearing lit up just for him.
At first, all he saw was the wand. Intense fear clenched his gut when he realized he would never be able to reach his own wand in time and the wandless magic he knew was all parlor tricks that would do nothing to defend him if his assailant wanted to hurt him. Before a spell could be cast, he followed the wand to the arm that held it and finally the face of the witch who was threatening him. Ginny Weasley.
"I'm sure there's a misunderstanding," he said, thinking of the kiss he and Harry had shared several days before. Although he hadn't had a chance to talk to Harry since that day, they'd exchanged glances across the hall that had Draco wondering what it meant. The few times he'd tried to linger outside class to wait for Harry, others had come and done something to make him move on - once they'd ripped a hole in his bag and levitated his best quill down the hall, another time they'd cast fireballs at his feet, threatening to burn the ends of his robes.
"There has," she agreed, wand still pointed at his face. "It's that you think you're good enough to breathe the same air as us. Harry may be fooled by your act, but I know you haven't changed. I was there last year. I saw the things you did to the other students. You're evil. Too evil to ever truly change. Stop taking advantage of Harry's kindness. You're just going to hurt him."
"I'd never hurt him," Draco said, recognizing the truth in her words even as he denied part of them. "And you're one to talk. Michael Corner? Can't you just be happy with one guy?"
"Listen close - Harry is just humoring you. You will never be more than a charity case to him. He loves me and I love him. So just stay away." She flicked her wand again and he felt a sharp pain in his nose, followed by a warm drip that could only be blood.
As soon as she was away, he felt the strength drain from his body. The rush of adrenaline had sustained him briefly but now left him feeling more drained than performing magic for hours on end. With shaking hands, he reached up and felt his nose and winced realizing it was broken. He could try to heal it himself, but he had never been good with healing spells, and having one go wrong could cause far more damage than leaving it to heal on its own. Instead, he leaned forward and used a spare handkerchief to staunch the flow of blood until it was no longer flowing.
Perhaps he would have been more relieved she'd left without doing major damage had her words not cut him so deep. Everything she said was exactly why he didn't feel he deserved forgiveness or a fresh start. He had hurt so many people and while she wasn't exactly right that it was of his own volition, he could have fought against it. Doing so would have most likely ended with his own death and quite possibly his mother's and father's as well, but wouldn't that have been a fair price to pay?
As much as he wished he could go back and make different choices, the past was etched in stone and all he could do was move forward. And that was where she was wrong. He had changed and would continue to do so. There were some lingering biases, some new ones he discovered without even realizing, but he wasn't the same person. Given the choice again, he would make different choices. It was not just regret over being on the losing side. He'd known before they'd lost that he was wrong and he had done what he could, however small, to rectify that.
Her accusation stirred something in him. The part of him that just lay over and took the punishment cracked and splintered and a firm resolve was born in it's place. He was changing and he was worthy of forgiveness. Not only that, but he was a Malfoy, heir to one of the longest lines of pureblood families still in existence in the world. While he no longer believed purebloods were inherently better than others, it meant something that he could trace his family lineage back to Armand Malfoy who had shaped British history both muggle and wizard. If anyone came after him again, he would fight back.
Even without announcing it as such, the others seemed to sense something different about him when he strode into his after-lunch class and took a seat at the front of the class. There were no assigned seats, but he'd let himself be pushed to the back and deferred to the others. Now he sat front and center, hanging on every word the teacher said and volunteering several answers that had her eyeing him curiously.
His next real test came at dinner when he walked into the dining hall with a throng of students who eyed him curiously but said nothing. He'd specifically chosen to walk in with a group that had never gone out of their way to be cruel and though they distanced themselves from him quickly, it at least prevented him from being ambushed immediately upon entering. It didn't take long though.
Draco sensed more than heard the spell being cast at him. It was one that would make cold water dump down the back of his robes but his hand had been on his wand and he'd cast a quick shield and rebound spell. A wizard across the room suddenly shrieked and jumped up from their seat and Draco's eyes locked on him, memorizing the face of the wizard who had tried to curse him.
"Anyone else?" He asked, doing his best to exude the confidence he wasn't sure he felt. While he knew he could take on individuals in the room, if multiple people started ganging up on him he would quickly be outmatched. Thankfully none of his peers had that thought because there were no more spells coming at him and he moved to take a seat at the far end, away from any others.
Part of him was disappointed Harry hadn't been there to see him standing up for himself, but the other part was grateful. He knew Harry wouldn't have been able to publically support him but seeing the other wizard turn from him would have hurt. It did, every time they passed in the hall with no more than a glance that was quickly averted. Somehow the kiss made the pain of being ignored hurt even more.
Unsurprisingly, Harry entered with Ginny hanging on one arm and Ron beside him. With their presence, the entire room seemed to light up and Draco couldn't help but stifle a snort of laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation. They were children, for Merlin's sake. Yes, they had saved the world, but they were still in school. The hero worship seemed so out of place when they didn't even have full license to get jobs or own homes.
"What are you laughing about, Malfoy?" Ron asked, his voice harsh. Hermione appeared beside him and elbowed him. "Oi! What was that for, 'mione?"
"I think Malfoy was just leaving," Ginny said, voice cheery in contrast to the coldness it had held earlier. Draco saw her touching her wand beneath her robes and almost did as she suggested.
"Actually, I just got here and I'm quite enjoying my food." To emphasize his point, he took another bite of the apple and chewed while holding eye contact with her. There was a sick delight in watching her face turn bright red while he feigned nonchalance. What he absolutely did not do was look at Harry even though he felt the wizard's eyes on him. "You're welcome to join me if you'd like."
"I would ne - "
"Sure," Harry said, cutting off Ginny who tugged on his arm insistently. Once again Draco got the twisted satisfaction of one-upping her in front of Harry. She eventually gave up and followed him to sit beside him where he'd taken a seat across the table from Draco. Ron and Hermione sat beside Draco and as soon as they did, the entire room turned away and left them alone.
Draco's satisfaction was short-lived when he realized he now had to eat with so many people around him. It had been too long since he'd had company and if someone told him earlier that day he'd be eating dinner with the Golden Trio plus Ginny he would have laughed in their faces.
"So Malfoy, how's your dad enjoying Azkaban?" Ginny asked, baiting him. He wanted to retort with a comment about the twin who hadn't gone home but the idea of hurting Harry, who he knew had been close to the entire family, stopped him before the words even came to his tongue.
"I wouldn't know," he said instead. "We aren't exactly on speaking terms." Although at the final hour Lucius Malfoy had followed his wife and son, he had no remorse for what they had done. He'd proudly stood on the stand and declared the Dark Lord as the true hero and Harry Potter the threat to wizard society. Draco suspected he'd been slipped some kind of veritaserum potion even though the use during the Wizengamot was frowned upon.
Azkaban had been cold and terrifying the one time Draco had visited. After being turned away by the trolls who now guarded the stronghold, Draco had never tried to return. Losing his father still hurt, but he wouldn't let Ginny know how deeply it cut him.
"Your mom still under house arrest?" She asked, switching topics. Draco felt his gut clench and anger tint his cheeks red as she dared bring up his mother. Her own mother had killed his mother's psycho sister. That as much as anything had snapped the fraying threads of his mother's mind. Not that Draco was sad Aunt Bella was dead. Next to the Dark Lord, she had been his most constant tormenter. But his mother had loved her and the loss had cut her deeply.
"Leave him alone, Gin," Harry said, not looking at her. Draco looked at him appreciatively and he ducked his head slightly in acknowledgment. "How are classes going?"
"Fine," Draco said. "The potion we're working on is one I learned years ago from Severus." He saw something twinge in Harry's expression at Severus' name and wondered again what had happened between them. "I've got to finish my essay for History of Magic though."
"Don't remind me," Ron moaned and Hermione looked at him with amusement. "I seriously don't get why we need to do it. What use is history?"
"Please tell me you did not just say that, Ronald," Hermione scolded. "Grindelwald was one of the most powerful wizards of the past hundred years. Dumbledore defeated him. How do you not find it fascinating?"
"I have to agree with Granger," Draco said, surprising everyone. "In a lot of ways, Grindelwald was the Dark Lord's inspiration. There are lessons to be learned." There was a pause in the conversation before it picked up again with Hermione lecturing Ron on the importance of recognizing history in current-day events and Ginny sticking up for her brother. Draco didn't speak again but he met Harry's eyes across the table a few times and each time the fire in his gut was stoked by the heat he saw there.
Students filed out of the dining hall as they sat there and Draco wondered if this would ever feel normal. He decided it wouldn't but that he didn't mind pretending for as long as he could before losing it. Just as he finished his food, Harry stood up abruptly and Draco almost rose with him.
"I just remembered I forgot something in one of the classrooms," he said, eyes never leaving Draco's. He declined Ginny's offer of help and said quick goodbyes to Ron and Hermione with promises to meet up with them later.
"I should get back to my room to finish my essay," Draco said, ignoring the heated glare from Ginny as he stood. While Harry had been there he'd been comfortable enough to stay, but alone, he felt like a fish out of water. He got the impression that Hermione would have stuck up for him, but the animosity emanating from Ginny and, to a lesser extent, Ron, made leaving the best option.
"Bye, Draco," Hermione called. Ron echoed her but Ginny remained silent. He did his best to appear unaffected by the glances the remaining students cast at him and hoped he looked more casual than he felt.