Conversations
The next two days are so busy with students arriving that Draco doesn't even see Harry except at a distance. He told himself that he was fine with that and that their moment didn't mean anything but he failed to even convince himself. Every so often Harry would catch his eye and half a smile would pull at his lips before he forced his expression neutral again.
As expected, Draco was one of only three Slytherins to show up, although Houses were disbanded for the moment so they were all just students. Once they got back to Hogwarts, he knew the House system would once again start up, but for now, he embraced the chaos of anonymity. Not that he was anonymous.
When the first day ended, Draco had gone up to his room to find it trashed. Malfoy scum had been painted on the wall with ink that he failed to remove. While he knew without a doubt that one of the professors would be able to clean the mark, he didn't want to bring attention to himself by complaining. If he was bumped in the hall or his food mysteriously burned after he'd put it on his plate, he figured it was the least punishment he could suffer for what he did.
It wasn't as if he didn't at least somewhat protect himself. After finding his room torn to pieces, he'd started locking his door with charms that were far beyond what any other student would know and he cursed his stupidity at not remembering to do so earlier. He also cast Disillusionment Charms over any of his supplies when they had to be left unattended and even himself if he suspected someone was targeting him.
Despite the fact that he didn't fight back, or perhaps because of it, he found himself more and more of a target. Witches and wizards with half his strength and talent were prodding him daily. The longer he went without retaliating, the braver they got until he stopped going for meals at the times they were held and sustained himself by sneaking in and out at off hours. The House Elves seemed to realize what he was doing and after the first week, food was put directly into his room.
If he had a hard go of it, Harry had the exact opposite. Everyone thronged around him as if just being in the same space and breathing the same air as he was could bless them. He also had to guard his food because all manner of love and friendship potions found their way into his drinks when he wasn't paying attention. From the exhausted look her perpetually worse, Draco was sure there were other tortures that came with being the most popular boy in school.
After the first week of classes had ended, Draco finally ran into Harry alone on the grounds. It had snowed heavily the night before so most people were spending the weekend inside but when Draco opened the door to have his hot chocolate on the terrace, he saw a single path of footsteps leading away toward the Greenhouse. Curious, he abandoned his mug half full and followed the footsteps to the Greenhouse and inside.
"Go away!" Harry said, head resting on his knees and clearly exhausted. "I'm not signing anything and no you can't touch my wand."
"Well I hope that's not a euphemism," Draco said, moving closer and sitting down so their legs were touching. The look of relief Harry gave Draco made his stomach twist uncomfortably with an emotion he didn't want to place.
"I honestly don't know," Harry said. "I got to my rooms last night and someone was in my bed - naked! - waiting for me."
"Aren't you dating Ginny Weasley?" Draco asked.
"Yeah, I guess," Harry shrugged. "I mean, we were before everything and we didn't break up so I guess we still are." The lack of enthusiasm in his voice made Draco's irrational hope flare again and he shoved it down. Childhood crush aside, he and Harry would never even be true friends, let alone anything more.
"I'd think you'd know who your girlfriend is," he said dryly. "I saw her all over you at dinner last night." While generally only seventh years had been invited, a few sixth years who had been core members of the Order of the Phoenix had also been brought back to accelerate their studies so they could take whatever prestigious positions they had been offered in the Ministry.
"I didn't see you there," Harry said. "I haven't seen you around much at all. Are you alright?"
"Oh you know," Draco said, shrugging. "Fending off curses from one direction, cleaning the mud someone spilled on me in the other. Just another day in the life of a disgraced wizard." He tried to make light of the situation.
"Why don't you fight back? We both know you're stronger than everyone else here. Or do you still think you deserve it?" He hit the nail on the head and Draco didn't bother arguing or defending himself.
"It's mostly harmless," he said. "Unlike that love potion you almost took the other day. Maybe you're the one who needs to fight back?" Harry chuckled and bumped Draco's leg, leaning so their arms were together. Draco didn't move away from the contact but leaned into the warmth. Harry's head rested on his shoulder and he closed his eyes to memorize the feel and smell of him for this brief moment.
"Sometimes I wish I hadn't survived," Harry whispered.
"Which time?"
"Either of them." The silence stretched but Draco didn't want to break it and risk Harry moving away from him again. "But I guess that's why I did survive. Because I accepted and welcomed Death and it spat me back out. Sometimes I worry I'll never get peace. And other times the last thing I want is silence."
"For what it's worth, I'm glad you're still here," Draco said. "Even when I hated you, you were always a constant in my life."
"Why did you hate me?" Harry asked. "Do you still hate me?"
"I was eleven," he said. "I was young and stupid and you embarrassed me in front of everyone. Plus my father always talked about how you were a fraud. And - I can't stress this enough - I was eleven."
"Later then?"
"Did you stop hating me when you got older?" He asked, knowing the answer. "At that point, it just became our thing. And the ridiculous part is, I wasn't anything to you. The Dark Lord was your true enemy. I was just some stupid kid pretending."
"I never thought of you as a stupid kid," Harry said. "I probably gave you more credit than you deserve, actually. In our Fifth year, I obsessed over your every movement and drove Hermione and Ron crazy. I couldn't stop thinking about you."
"If it helps, I also obsessed over you that year. And Dumbledore. I...I truly am sorry. I never meant... I didn't know..." He had no words to adequately describe his feelings about Dumbledore's death.
"I know," Harry said. "I was there. In the astronomy tower that night. I saw you lowering your wand. I saw all of it." And just like that one of his worst secrets was laid bare and forgiven. It seemed at every important moment of his life, Harry had been there on the sidelines.
"I didn't know that," Draco said quietly. "That was the beginning of the end, I think. Because of that night, I got the Mark. And with the Mark, I started being made to do...to do really terrible things. I wish I could go back and I never would have let them in."
Harry pulled back, but only momentarily as he wrapped an arm around Draco's shoulder and changed their positions so now Draco was leaning over with his head resting against Harry's body. Draco didn't cry this time, but he did feel his breathing going in and out of his control as panic welled up inside him. After several minutes, the sound of the door opening came again and they both jerked apart, Draco jumping to his feet just as Ginny Weasley came around the corner.
"Malfoy," she said, a sneer on her face making her delicate features turn harsh. An irrational hatred rose up in Draco at the sight of her and he knew it was jealousy when she dropped down beside Harry and placed a kiss on his lips before looking back up at Draco as if he were dung that needed to be turned to fertilizer.
"Want me to get rid of him, Harry?" She asked.
"I was just leaving," Draco said, turning and walking around. He felt something hit his back and a splash of wetness seep through his robes before he repelled it with a protection charm and continued walking. He thought he heard Harry saying something to Ginny as he left but he couldn't make out the words.
The sun was higher in the sky when he made it out and a number of paths tracked across the grounds now. A group of students were throwing snowballs off to the right and as he passed, all of them suddenly turned and threw them at him, soaking him in snow as he failed to cast anything to protect himself. The pain of the ice hitting him made him feel alive as he tried to forget how it felt to have Harry's arm around his shoulder.
Daphne Greengrass, a Slytherin who had so far avoided Draco, saw him and angled toward him before he could duck away. She didn't look angry and he schooled his face into a mask of indifference as she approached him.
"Draco," she said. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"Yes, well. I'm trying something new." He tried to be nonchalant but it was hard with snow gathered on his head and shoulders, melting through and soaking him once again.
"I suppose we have that in common," she agreed. The Greengrass family had never been particularly close to the Malfoys, although Draco did remember when his mother and father were angling for him to marry one of the Greengrass sisters. He couldn't remember if it was this one or the younger one and hoped that future would never come to pass. "I know we aren't doing houses here, but I think we should stick together. I'm sure you've noticed the others aren't welcoming to us." She shot a dirty look at the students who had thrown the snowballs but they weren't paying either of them any attention.
"Sure," Draco said with a shrug. "Although I think you'll find I'm not the most desirable ally."
"I don't care what those mudbloods and muggle lovers think," she said, words so shocking that Draco didn't have a response at first. "Purebloods will come back into power soon, and they'll all regret treating us poorly."
"On second thought," he said, extracting his arm from where she had latched on to it. "I don't think our interests align. Pureblood politics are not something I'm interested in pursuing. I think we've well and truly seen that blood purity means nothing when it comes to power."
Daphne sneered at him, giving him another moment to retract his statement but instead he drew himself up to his full height and looked down at her. "Ugh. Forget it. You're just another blood traitor. My mother warned me, but I didn't want to believe her. Astoria will be heartbroken to hear this. She was so looking forward to your marriage but I'll make sure that never happens now."
Draco watched her leave feeling like he'd been snapped back and forth a dozen times. At least he got his answer on which Greengrass sister he had been set to marry, although he didn't entirely believe the marriage wouldn't happen. Despite her heated words and his stance on muggles and muggle-born wizards and witches, the fact remained that they were two of the last pureblood families left and if there was enough pressure from both sides, they could still end up married.
Although he was glad he'd had the courage to stand up to Daphne, he also let himself mourn the fact that one of the few potential allies he had was now gone. It had been a long shot to assume others had experienced the same change of heart he had during the Battle, but it would have been nice. No one outside of Slytherin would dare approach him, and it seemed even those inside it still clung to the outdated ideals of their parents.
He took a moment to recover from the conversation and gather his composure, then turned to stride away only to catch sight of someone sitting under a tree just a few meters away from where he and Daphne had their conversation. Hermione Granger's eyes caught his and though he didn't acknowledge it, he thought he caught the corners of her mouth twist up in a small smile as he turned away and walked back towards the manor.